FAUBOURG OF MISERY

Was listening to an NPR interview with Jane Fonda who is promoting her new very strange tome “Being a Teen”.  Why Ms. Fonda has decided to write a book for teenagers is a bit puzzling but who cares I likes me some Hanoi Jane.  Jane Fonda is now in her late 70s and looks fab.  I use to work at UCLA’s Placement and Career Planning Center with the woman who became Jane Fonda’s father Henry Fonda’s last wife.  She met him on a plane, and when he died he left her a fortune.  I had a brief flingette with Jane Fonda’s dinge queen son Troy Garrity.  When I met him he was young and quite hunky appearing in one of those Ice Cube BarberShop films. Troy’s father is the ugly pockmark faced politico/activist Tom Haydn. I lost touch with Troy ages ago, but I heard from the grapevine that he married a biological black woman so I hope they are happy together.  Whatever happened to Bridget Fonda the daughter of Peter Fonda who starred in Single White Female and the 1989 Hairspray ripoff film SHAG that featured Phoebe Cates,Annebeth Gish, the ginger haired gay boy Scott Coffey and one of my old flames Robert Russler who never missed one of my performances in the early 1990s at places like Café Largo, Trade or Sin-A-Matic at Peanuts Disco.  Bob Russler was quite a beauty. I loved him in that movie Vamp with Chris Makepeace and Grace Jones. 

The other day I was listening to a recording by Blanche Callaway the older sister of Cab Callaway.  Its obvious her brother copied her, and wound up becoming more famous.  If anyone out there wants to buy me a book please send me a copy of Bruce Levine’s “Fall of the House of Dixie”.  If the publishers of the book are reading this blog please send it to me.  The last time I mentioned a book I was interested in reading the author had his publishers send me a copy.  Now that’s what I call service with a certain smile!

Sunday afternoon the wonderful transluscent skinned American journalist Michael Scaturro who works for Deutche Welle and The Atlantic took me to luncheon at the Thai food  restaurant Papaya on the Haupt Strasse.  We had a delightful time hanging out with each other cruising all the sexy young Turkish and Arab boys in my kiez.  Mr. Scaturro lives in Mitte in an old Stassi building and is in dire need of a change of atmosphere so I hope he moves to my neighbourhood.  After luncheon we stopped for ice cream at the Lesbian Italio icecream shop on the corner of Pallastrasse and Potsdamer Strasse, did more hairy eyeballing, stopped off at Winterfeldtplatz and then oogled some very lovesexxy Turkish pieces of eyecandy playing soccer at Lutzoplatz Park.

WEIL GEKKOS GUTES WETTER BRINGEN

Been having to write recommendation letters for a lot of my former students including the wonderfully talented and handsome Damien Davis who was in one of my seminars at NYU back in 2006.  Damien’s artwork is quite impressive.  I consider him to be a main  proponent of the Stacy

Lattisaw/Patrice Rushen Op art school of Ubangi Realness.  Damien is not related to me as Davis is not my real surname but I  would always tell people he was the grandchild of Sammy Davis Jr. and his last wife the Las Vegas dancer/showgirl Altovise, who had a small supporting role in the Nancy Walker directed HiEnergy disco musical Can’t Stop the Music 1980 featuring The Village People,  Valerie Perrine, sexy Jewish hungthrob Steve Guttenberg(who I was an undergraduate with at UCLA.  The young Mr. Guttenberg could really fill out his Dolphin shorts) and Olympic track star Bruce Jenner.  Can’t Stop the Music is one of my favourite early 80s guilty film pleasures along with the Brooke Shields romantic drama Endless Love co-starring Shirley Knight, Don Murray,Penelope Medford(Richard Gere’s ex girlfriend when I knew them back in the early 1980s when they were neighbors with my NYC mentor George "Mommy" Byron) James Spader & Tom Cruise in their first film roles and a beautiful Martin Hewitt who reminds me of one of my young NYU students named Alex Casso.

Was cleaning out a bunch of boxes and found some letters from a former admirer Gerald Cavendish Grosvenor who is now the Duke of Westminister and worth billions as his family is one of the riches in England and have been for centuries.  Once Lord Grosvenor gave me a diamond bracelot which I blythely passed on to one of my best girlfriends as I am not much of a jewelry person and hate diamonds.  Whenever I had wealthy beaus I have always done something to jinx the relationship. I guess its my inherent disdain for the wealthy. William Waldron another Brit from the nobility that also fancied me and owned a store on Melrose Avenue called Just William I wound up insulting.  Years later I heard from his ex-wife that he turned into a mountain man living in the wilds of the Sierra Nevadas.  Warning to men everywhere:  Don’t fall in love with Vaginal Davis or you will wind up either committing suicide or going mad. 

Two of my perfect Goethe Universitat students the beautiful and vibrant Julian Scherer and his pretty and personable gal pal Sandra Bruetting are in Berlin for holiday and took me out for café &kuchen at the Neus Ufer on the Haupt Strasse which was the perfect place to just hang and catch up on every little thing.  It was so wonderful being able to spend quality time with these two amazing young people.  With Julian and Sandra taking the lead I now have faith in the future generation.  

TALES OF COUGHMAN

Rising Stars, Falling Stars-We Must Have Music Sunday evening was really all about the music with a documentary about the legendary Indian auteur Satyajit Ray. Daniel Hendrickson the Skandinavian Muslim started the evening off perfectly playing Armenian klavier melodies as infernal hostess Miss Vaginal Davis went off on one of her Finnegan’s Wake like gossipy riffs. The after the screening wine reception was completely Bengali style as a whorde of celebutants proffered about the Kino 2 space. Looking fabulous and regal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus just back from a working tour of the Middle East and India promoting experimental film with the charming and stately Doina Popescu head honcho of Toronto’s Ryerson Image Center and former director of the Goethe Institute of Toronto. Ms. Popescu was wearing a silver Tibetan medallion that was beyond gorgeous. Also seen in full juicy splendour the effervescent art shtar Antonia Baehr aka Werner Hirsch who is so dapper and delightful along with fellow art goddess Angela Melitoupolous, DJane Bianca Kruk aka Manuela Schinina, DJane Olga Damnitz with the always lovely Angela Anderson and posse that included Noam Gorbat. It was wonderful seeing the beautiful Nazli Kalerci the Turkish/Kurdish film programmer who is making quite the international name for herself. Nazli was telling me all the gossip about Turkish president Erdogan and his sex tape which features his rather large but ungainly presidential penis. The extroidinary Ms. Kalerci who is one of the smartest, most engaging and powerful young women I know came to RSFS with her new roommate the personable young filmmaker Syllas Tzoumerkas of Greece who is editing his second feature film A Blast. In the Kalerci/Tzoumerkas entourage was the pretty young Israeli video artiste Adam Kaplan, the lesbian supermodel Cara Delevingne with gal pal Caitlin Cronenberg the daughter of Canadian filmmaker David Cronenberg and blondine American actor Dane DeHaan. RSFS regulars: Markus “SexGod” Ruff, Uli Ziemons whose book on George Kuchar the first of its kind in German will be out shortly, Arsenal projectionist Anselm and Little Alex of Macedonia who made the Vagimule doll look stunning with his make-up, hair and sophisticated fashion styling expertise. Next month April 20th Rising Stars, Falling Stars will host a Manifesto Night with a screening of the1940 classic Dance Girl Dance directed by my former teacher Dorothy Arzner the first openly Lesbian golden era Hollywood Director in the Director’s Guild. This is a must see film so don’t miss it. The movie stars Maureen O’Hara and Lucille Ball in her first dramatic role years before her TV fame as I Love Lucy.

SOME OTHER SPRING AWAKENING

Rising Stars Falling Stars - Vaginal Davis & Satyajit Ray - March 2014 by Filmanzeiger on Mixcloud

MIT LUST INFORMIEREN

Was up at the crack of dawn for my photo shoot with Dazed & Confused Magazine which took place at the Stink Studios on Schoenhauser Allee. Humpy American photog Matt Lambert assembled a mad skillz crew that included sweet and lovesexxy Italian fashion stylist Sebastiano Ragusa who outfitted me in jewelry from Prada and the House of Iosselliani www.iosselliani.com who gifted the Vagimule doll some exquisite drop earrings. My hair and face was divinely beaten into modernistic shape by sultry French make-up artiste Servullo who is the new Serge Lutan. There was even a juicy baby dyke photo assistant serving proper butch realness. I wore a creamsoda Maska Rick Owens gown and a marvelous time was had by one and all. On the subway ride home from my photoshoot I shared a nice flirtation hostroll with the hot young Canadian actor Diego Klattenhoff –yowza!

Congrats are in order for my beautiful web master Larry Bob Roberts who will be getting hitched this Spring to the love of his natural and unnatural born life Thomas Netzband in San Francisco, California.  I've known Larry Bob since he was a weenager attending St. Olaf College in St.Paul Minnesota where I taught a performance art workshop back in the 1980s. 

Got an unexpected emug from A.J.Langer a fan of mine and former actress who use to play a teenage goth on the Claire Danes TV drama My So Called Life from around 20 plus years ago. Miss Langer now lives in England with her patrician hubby Lord Charles Courtenay the son of the Earl of Devon and young children. I wish I could marry into British nobility with hopes of becoming a countess and living in a fancy draft laden castle. Well I have never been to the Courtenay ancestral home of Powderton Castle but I assume its all mildewy with whordes of funkyass mould and other excrement.