OH YOU'RE SO JOAN DIDION

Bricktops Bricktops and more Bricktops. So many Pola Negri's and so little time. Special Guest Lola Tawdry the great granddaughter of Marlene Deitrich put on the show of shows with Mr. Uncertain accompanying her on the P. So many well dressed dolly's and mortimers including a handsome fellow in a raccoon coat who was part of the posse of Mike Skinner aka: The Streets, the British white rapper who is so adorably cutateous. He has the most soulfould expressive eyes, and was flirting with me in that tranny chaser like way, though i felt like i looked horrible in one of my sequined gowns that belonged to this dead Imperial Court queen. The dress is velvet and lovely though i usually don't go for the sparkle and spangle approach to drag, but alas it is holiday season. Artist Alexander de Cadenet became quite enamored of my visiting pal John Sanchez, looking so lickable and perfect. John works for Martha Stewart, the lucky devil. I'm one of Martha's biggest fans and Mr. Uncertain wrote a tribute song to her, that wowed the crowd. My old pal Courtney Taylor of the Dandy Warhols came by with his bick dicked self, he had in tow with him that sizzling little Johnny Robinson from Gus Van Sant's Elefant flick and briteen actor Ben Chaplin who has stained teeth. I don't care i'd still do him. Don Spiro was taking a lot of pics with his gorgeous wifette Augusta by his side. Seattle's Jimothy Jones of Sub-Pop fame was a no show, though he had called earlier that he was coming to the club. I guess he got sicktracked by a date, most likely not a black man, since i doubt he's a dinge queen anymore.
Had a great time hanging with Charity Hope Valentine and Dax oh and lets not forget Pirate Jenny who outdid her self in the DJ booth and brought the Negri film One Arabian Night that everyone was stroking to in the backroom. After the club Dax took us out for Veggie Burgs at Astro.

FIGGY PUDDING

oh thank goodness the tired Christmas is over with. I didn't grow up celebrating holidays so i don't share in this sentimental attachment towards this time of the year. Of course fans insist on sending me presents even though i tell them to just donate to my favorite charity The HollyGrove Orphanage in Hollywood. Hollygrove is where Marilyn Monroe spent some of her formative years. I've always felt like an orphan. Now that my mother is dead the feeling has intensified.
Had a nice time cooking dinner with my husband's wife Charity Hope Valentine. Miss Charity has been living in Austin Texas with a beau. The relationship didn't work out and now she's back on Broadway. No just here in Los Ang for awhile. She may relocate to the Bay area.
After dinner we were joined by the jubilant Summer Peaches, late of the Velvet Hammer Heritage Burlesque Review. I adore Miss Summer, she is an old fashion good time gal.

Last Fridays Bricktops was a joint celebration of all things Lon Chaney and pagan holidazing. Mr. Uncertain brought out his Chaneyesque persona, He Who Cannot Be Named to riotious results. That sweet little Uncertain boy just gets better and better. I had a bit of a flirtation with this young basketball star named Chris Kaman who plays with a team called The Clippers. I know nothing about basketball or the team he plays with or how or why he wound up at Bricktops, but he has a big white penis and i got to make out with him and jack him off in the DJ booth, which was good clean nasty fun. He even left a stain on my dress like I'm Monica P. Lewinsky.

I hate it when people Instant Message me. They always do it at the worse time, when i'm busy with lady business. But i always enjoy my cyber conversations with my favorite sister of the clothe Glenndetta of NYC. Here is a bit of our edited down conversation:

Glenn: hey stranger lady
VAGDAVIS: oh gorgeous Italian hunk. I love you i miss you
VAGDAVIS: Have you been traveling the orient sticking your largesse in tiny asian holes
Glenn: oh yes but i'm back in tired NY now
VAGDAVIS: how long were you gone?
Glenn: 2 months
VAGDAVIS: wow. what were your covering?
Glenn: I was in New Zealand, Hong Kong, and mainland China travel stuff mostly
interviews for Conde Nast Traveler....
VAGDAVIS: Who did you interview?
Glenn: a hong kong socialite, indigenous people in New Zealand, a Chinese punk band
called Miserable Faith
I need to go exercise so I don't feel like a lazy slobo
VAGDAVIS: bye I love you!!!