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Saturday, April 16, 2005

My performances at the Contact Theatre were very well received. i did a 7pm and 9pm show. i felt i wasn't very effective at the first show, but after drinking i got better for the second. The video equipment kind of made my underground ouvre look sloppier then it really is, oh welp. We had a tech rehearsal, but it didn't seem like it. My shows sold out, and there was even ticket scalpers. how's that for being under the radar.
The contact theatre's miss jenny is auditioning students for my workshops. i plan on putting together a happening in the style of yayoi kusama, the crazy polka dot japanese artist. who knows what will happen as i pimp out the youth of manchester divided.
i'm still feeling a little jet lagged. Saturday i attended the conference and the programs were actually hot. Catherine Lord ruled with a presentation on St. Valerie Solanis, and of course Jennifer Doyle, Jose Munoz, Daddy Athey and Julianna Snapper showed everyone how it is properly done. Kudos for organizers Amelia Jones and Laura Doan. The after party at Cornerhouse was wild and fun, and then we were taken to a delicious Chinese dinner at the Palace and a hot young academic took us to a sexy little bar for more drinks. As i write this i'm very very drunka.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

-On the Pitch-
Flight to England Rocky and rough, i screamed out loud 5 times terrorizing everyone on a plane filled with children. Thank god professor Jennifer Doyle was also on board, and made me delicious sandwiches and homemade cornbread. Sat next to a very nice, talkative British lady and an Israeli man who snored like he has sleep apnea.
Cute young boy wearing Tiva sandles with big feet across from me. Yum. Love Virgin Atlantic--by far the best airline in the world.
Ma Maison Hotelry in the city ctr is a cutesy boutique configuration. i'm half sleep and half awake as the queeny man at the desk checks me in. Barely arrived and i'm already bombarded with invites and proposals. A very rich gent named Hugh Van Cutsem wants me to be his black concubine. I'm only interested if i get first dibs at his handsome son William. Wayne Rooney, a skally lad footballer for manchester united also has the hots for me, but he's just a little too doughy for this lady.

The gay village of Canal Street is just around the corner from me hotel. doesn't look very interesting.

Sad News
My anti porn feminist ex-lover Andrea Dworkin died. i knew she had Epstein Barr syndrome, lyme disease and lupus, but other then that she seemed in excellent health. i just emailed my condolences to her male lesbian husband John Stoltenberg.
speaking of diseases, on the Sky One news all they seem to be talking about is MSRA which is the disease dajour of the moment. Maybe Andrea died of MSRA.

British Telly is completely nutters. Since i don't have a TV in the states its fun to watch it here. One program that is really over the proverbial top is called Cosmetic Surgery Live! and features an oreo cookie jubas jubilee doctor and a portly pepperpot TV presenter showing very graphic body augmentation surgery. The jubas specializes in a procedure called, The Designer Vagigner where he re-sculpts hatchet pussies and extends clitoris' for better orgasms.
tar tar!

Monday, April 11, 2005

The wonderful Mark Simon took me to see the Greta Garbo salute at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Thursday. The Swedish actress Lena Olin, from the movie "Incredible Lightness of Being" was the hostess and the guest stars included actresses Joan Leslie who was in Camille as a child, and Cora Sue Collins who played baby Garbo in Queen Christina, and was a lifelong lesbianic friend of the legend. Also Gavin Lambert and the great Gore Vidal told hilarious Garbo stories. According to Ms. Lambert. Garbo loved to play games---she didn't have anything else better to do and Missy Vidal said that Howard Hughes is responsible for Garbo not returning to the screen. She was going to be in a picture for RKO in 1949, but Hughes nixed it. They showed the screen tests and she was breathtaking.
I had my own Garbo encounter in the 80s in New York. I was fooling around with a friend at the Chanel Boutique on West 57th, and an elderly lady approached us and said, "You young people sure know how to have fun". When we realized in unison we'd heard that voice before, the woman was gone. I had been observed and spoken to by the one and only Greta Garbo.
Friday at Bricktops was our salute to the songwriters Henderson, Brown and DeSylva. Not only did they write songs together they had a buttery menage relationship. Our guest performer was none other then the Hobo Jazz Combo headed by Marquis de Gris from Redland, CA. Marquis and his cute portly pal, put on a dynamic show. They perform quite a bit, and it shows with how tight they've become. Really amazing. I love supporting new talent. Earlier in the eve we had a Bricktops pre-party at Andrew of Gould's with the Hobo Jazz boys, Jose Promis and Cory Marie of the Moveable Feast. Miss Cory has designed a new Bricktops poster featuring Mr. Uncertain that is just too divine. I also got to meet Ms. Cory's hot beau, a strikingly handsome, tall, soft spoken young man who seems perfect for my pretty and talented Miss Cory Marie.

The celebs in the audience at Bricktops included The Ditty Bops, who were just on tour with Nancy Sinatra and the Dresden Dolls. DeAmanda of the Bops looked resplendid with her new blondine hairdo. The Bops came with their admirers, the singer Ray Montagne and Andrea Albert Pierre, the cute young son of Princess Caroline of Monaco. Andres would make a better ruler of Monacco then his queeny uncle Albert. East Coast socialite Beth Rudin De Woody came AGAIN and brought with her as an entourage Allison Stark Morrisey, the lovely great granddaughter of Fanny Brice and granddaughter of famed producer Ray Stark, Allison's hot mom is Wendy Stark Morrisey, who is the west coast editor of Vanity Fair and is one of Bricktops staunchest supporters. I love Wendy and her gay assistant/right hand man.
Tuesday I'm off for Manchester, England where I'll be performing as part of the Queer Visualities Conference, I'll do two lecture/performances at the Contact Theatre on April 15th under the title: "Beware the Holy Whore" and on May 7th i'll host a happening with students that will be called "The Maladjusted Rule" If you're any where near Man!chest pay me a visit. I'll be staying at the boutique hotel The Mal Maison in the Piccadily section of the city in the center of town right next to the Judas Cradle.