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Saturday, January 07, 2006

Vaginal Davis and the Berlin kollektive Cheap have done it again. The Silvester/New Years Eve Bachanal and Art Party was a huge roaring 4-penil pronged beasty of a success. There is a lot of competition for Silvester, which is what the Germans call New Year’s Eve. I guess the name Silvester comes from St. Silvester, not the "You Make Me Feel" disco singer. All I know is that it was fantastic spending the entire holiday season away from the USA.
My new rock music art band Ruth Fischer delighted the throngs. Some executives from Universal Music/Deutchland have expressed interest in releasing our first album, "Sexual Ethics and Communism" Our producer Mickey One is young and very cute with humongous talents and a very big brain. His girlfriend is our gorgeous Albanian drummer Ibedette, who never played drums before this gig. Ebedette is the lead singer in Mickey’s other music project The Super 700’s who are signed to a big European label. Everyone in the band learned to play their instrument while working on the project, including Ms. Davis herself, who besides lead singer chores played bass guitar on the song "Are You Now or Have You Ever Been"
In response to the myriad of emails asking me for the lyrics to our new songs, you will find them below:

Was Ist Party?

I like a party I go to party and I will party 2nite
I like a party a party party and will party 2nite all night
tis more to life then party
what is party?
Why is party?
And if I cry at party?
Was ist party?
warum ist party?

Kill To Let Die

I kill you
you die, you don’t die fast enough
I shoot you in the head
the blood goes everywhere
I shoot you in the head
the blood goes in my eye
stinging and blinding me

Angie Eats Condi

Got to get 2gether
staytogether, good, bad, whatever
ja, ja, ja

battles of the past rest
battles fought right out
translantic partnership
greed, mistrust and doubt

angie loves condi
so like maggie
she’s so ugly
hot like brandy
angie eats condi
not on Monday
angie loves candy
so like maggie

you and me darling dinge and snow
salty pepper, now u know
wicked witch of the east
black burdensome beast
11 percent unemployment
trimming costly fat

Anarchy of the Imagination

gdr, plo
sos, no means no
nbc, trl
phd, you and me

anarchy of the imagination
o despair o desp
the painful search
albeit obliteration
for something in motion and courage
to recognize utopia and to open yourself up to
however poor it may be of these things I tell in song

the book of Ruth to tell the truth
the power of three will set us free

Bruce "Judy" LaBruce did one of his infamous live aktionist shoots, this time the theme was Baby New Year and he proceeded along with the help of an actual midwife who powdered and diapered a series of young men and women while Bruce and the crowd documented. Later I found out that some of the German intelligentcia were quite shocked by this tame representation of infantilism. It may seem like Germans are wild, but deep down they are very conservative, which I’m constantly forgetting.
My daughter, Michele Carr of the Velvet Hammer with her new troupe of boys and girls really gave the audience some sexy tight visuals to nurse on. Michele has the potential to conquer Europa.
Speaking of visuals, avante garde filmmaker Wilheim Hein’s wonderful film projections were the decor of the party, and it was great having him and girlfriend/photographer Annette Frick cheering me on during my opening DJ slot. Lots of people asked me what music I was playing. Well my play list included: Gogol Bordello, King Britt doing Sister Gertrude Morgan, The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black, Shampoo, Jonathan FireEater, Lee Bowry’s Minty, Belle & Sebastian, The Hidden Cameras, Sandy Shaw, Strawberry Switchblade, Pig Bag, Rip Rig & Panic, The Fun Boy Three, Purse and early Destiny’s Child, and Mary J. Blige.
Designing outfits for me and the entire Ruth Fischer band was the supremely talented young Belgian couturier Koen Claerhoot and doing our makeup and hair, the genius of Andres Bernhardt, who was once Thierry Mugler’s main face painter and hair hopper. Also performing was legendary chanteuse Xaxie de Paris and DJ’s Nancy from the Cheap kolective and The b. books anarchist bookshop and filmworks galaxy of DJ stars who kept the party going until 9am the next morning. One aspect of the party that really enchanted the guests was our Sexual Repulsive Lounge and Heavy Petting Area with appropriate porno images from the 70s. Someone complained that we were spreading Mrs. AIDS by showing the condomless blue straight and gay calistenics from the pre video era. And our phunky nail salon managed by the great Italian art star Allessio, the beautiful Evie and hung hearthrob and beauty boy Konstantin aka Achmed was one of the evenings major musts. By 4am everyone seemed to be sporting long nails, with appliques and jewels dangling.
My usual Europa assistant Andreas Novarin who lives in London, couldn’t help me on this trip because his Italian passport expired and the Embassy couldn’t or wouldn’t renew it in time, so Israeli joy boy Assaf Hoffman stepped in and was a delight. He also was acting as my personal papparrazo.
The hot celebs attending the party included Franka Potenta, who goes to the opening of a bag of chips, Daniel Bruel and Diane Kruger, producer Jurgen Bruning, lovely French film ingenue Louis Garrel whose posse got into a fight with Joel Gibb of Canada’s Hidden Cameras and his Norweigan opera prodigy beau Steffan. Sexy New Yorker Nathan Fuhr, the young ex-lover of Hannah Hurtzig was checking out our scene in true John Knowles Nosferato collector mode. The biggest celeb in attendance was the divine Verushka, who has moved back to Berlin after years as a Brooklyn recluse.

A few days after New Years I was invited to lecture at the Institut Dienstag/Free University. Since it was so soon after the holidays I didn’t expect many students to show up. Neither did professor Marcu Siegel whose seminar Queer Theory und Film was the banner my presentation was under. Surprise, Surprise, but there were almost 100 people jammed into a very small lecture theatre. I was a little excrement for brains, being that it was 10am, but things seemed to go exceedingly well, and afterwards I was taken to brunch at a fancy trattatoria and some of the students even tagged along. One surprise at my lecture was this German man who knew my Club Sucker partner Frank Rodriguez from 20 years ago, and showed me pictures to prove it. Yowza! Once you have my lil papa Frank in your system you can never remove him.

A few days later celebrated Judy Labruce's birthday at a delicious dinner party given by Jurgen Bruning and his sweet roommate Gamma. Jurgen wants me to direct porno for his new company Wurst Films. I even came up with an idea for a flicker called Berlin Boydello.

Later the next week Wilheim Hein and Annette Frick hosted a little dinner soiree in my honor with a nice mixture of international young film people. I really enjoyed chatting with these two good looking Greek movie boys. Those Greeks are responsible for homosexuality as we know it today, so they have a lot to answer for.