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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

One of the great things about having gone to a fancy Swiss finishing school (Le Rosey)on scholarship as a child is my connection to European aristocrats and royals. Its come in handy over the years for both me, and some of my friends who found themselves in boiling hot water abroad because of some drug related offense or whathaveyou. Luckily i was able to make one phone call and relieve the situation. Being that i was born into staunch poverty, its amazing that i can weild an arsenol when need be.
Now that I'm more or lessed based in Europe, i can't wait to party with Crown Prince Philip of Sweden aka Duke of Varmland. He is a major Ms. Gorgeous piece of Scandanavian butt cloister, and he adores me and is very flirtatious with that cruel club of his. When I'm in Graz, Austria i hope to spend time with that sultry thrombone Amedeo of Austria whose father Archduke Lorenz of Austria-Este use to be hot when he was young(thats when i first met him), but is now a bit on the trollish side.
I'd better be careful not to let lovesexy Gonzalo Miro catch me with Edwardo Cruz, the juicy pop star brother of Penelope Cruz. The two men hate each other because of an incident between me and Eugenia the Duchess of Montoro, whose mother is the Duchess of Alba who i use to hang with until she got into a knockout lesbiana sluggo with Paula Marzotto of the famed Italian fashion dynasty, and Paula's daughter Princess Beatrice Orromeo is now fooling around with studkin bullfighter Francisco Rivera who has a pretty little daughter named Cayetona whose mother is Eugenia----its all so complicated and confusing that i have trouble keeping track of it all, so i don't expect you to be able to. And did i mention that my good pal Lady Didi(Diana) Judd whose father is Visconte something or other is related to Prince Harry's girlfriend Chelsy Davy----let me end all this here and now.
I'm not known as a modern day Elsa Maxwell for nothing kids.