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Saturday, December 10, 2016

Nicht jede Kuh laesst sich melken

When I was giving Hollywood film reviews a few columns back I neglected to mention that the wonderous actress Jeannie Berlin is featured in Woody Allen's latest flicker Cafe Society. What a grossepoint oversight that was on my part. Ms. Berlin is the daughter of comedienne and film director Elaine May, and Jeannie starred in May's brilliant 1972 film The Heartbreak Kid along with Charles Grodin and Cybil Shephard. Another one of her 1970s films Sheila Levine is Dead and Living in New York directed by Sidney J. Furie is a hoot of the period. She took a long repreive from acting but I am glad to welcome her back on the big screen.
Also forgot to give my womanly take on the latest Meryl Streep film Florence Foster Jenkins about the New York society maven and klipklack soprano. I have never been a part of the Streep cult. The only thing of hers that I've ever liked was a PBS film version of Wendy Wasserstein's Uncommon Women & Others from the late 1970s. Her co-star Hugh Grant continues to play his greatest role as Divine Browns bewildered Sloan Ranger sex partner. The real breakthrough in this film is dweeby Simon Helberg who was one of my former students ages ago, and is really divoon here. Mr. Helberg is already the ensemble star of some longrunning TV situation comedy where his talents are wasted in dumb TVland shtick. In Jenkins his prissy mannerisms convey everything of a proper fagula of the 1940s—think Billy DeWolfe crossed with Taylor Mead with an expressive protean Wally Cox facecal.
Baby Diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras invited me to his latest concert at Music & Frieden in the Wrangle Kiez. He was debuting his brilliantine new album Home on Native Land which is of the Lonesome Dove style thematically. His band members were also appropriately dressed matching Mr. Gibb in his Nudie rodeo tailored goldenen suit. The Honky Tonk Bisquit Queen, My Darling Clementine, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon spirit was permeating the venue and the Berlin audience a notoriously tough crowd were sighing and swooning to Gibbs Cimarron paced shit kicking hoedown.
Mr. Gibb was in fine voice,looking high wide and handsome in the matinee idol spotlight. I was very impressed with his banjo player a new arrival to Berlin from Nashville, and his high holy drummer Teutonic Tomas who is the most talented dynamic skin pounder on the seven planets with a radiant personality, a mighty sweet smelling bubble buttkiss, powerful muscles throbbing from his fingertips down to those sexy feet and twinkle toes.

Tuesday, December 06, 2016

Erst kommt das fressen, dann die moral

My darlings,
Was invited to the fabelshaft table of La Susanne Sachssee for one of her early winter feasts of the Magi. This one being in honor of sexy and ultra sophisticated Shai Heredia the filmmaker and festival director of the highly lauded Experimenta Festival of Bangalore. The gorgeous Ms. Heredia was in Berlin with her handsome ultra cool and sleek partner of the silky voice, the electronic musician Yashas Shetty. Also in attendance Daniel Hendrickson the Jewish Muzlim warrior translator to the shtars, Max Brauer the cute and cuddly Andy Kaufmanesque darsteller and bon vivant who will host his own eclectic evening at the Volksbuhner's Roter Salon, and everyone's rad party favourite Bruce“Judy”LaBruce who was in good form spilling all the proverbial “T” thats way too fart for the faint of heart. I love me some Canadian farmgirl lil Judy LaBruce.Yowza!
The next evening it was the return of CHEAP Funk on Reboot FM the radio program hosted by the amazing Diana McCarty. Joining CHEAP was Yashas Shetty as special guest who weaved his mercurial electronic musical magic live on the air. The night turned all non-sequitur with discussions and readings from and about Werner Schroeter via Susi Sachsse from Schroeter's nachruf fuer Maria Callas plus the dying diva propentittaly of Dalida,John Cage,Glen Meadmore and Kembra Phahler and her Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black album Black Date. And if that wasn't enough there was vissi d'arte and moi je vais mourir sur sce'ne.
I've been getting lots of email requests asking for more about the CHEAP PianoBar in Prague. Well below is the formal description of the piece we did as part of the Mezipatra Queer Film Festival.
Piano Bars are mainstays of gay and lesbian culture, historical places of musical refuge from a hostile outside world. They are like regular queer bars, but with an added bonus for the show-tunes-inclined among us: the chance to sing along to and distort popular songs with lovers, friends and intimate strangers all gathered together around the piano. CHEAP will distort not only songs, but the piano and the piano bar atmosphere itself, in this one night only performance and installation on the staircase in the smoker's area of the festival cafe. Come hang out with us. Drown your sorrows about queer culture in a glass of whiskey while humming along. Maybe we'll even play something you like. Probably not, but who cares, as long as we're kind of together. CHEAP art collective from Berlin has been making queer performances, installations, music, clubs, festivals, parties, videos and stuff for the past fifteen years. CHEAP Piano Bar will feature Vaginal Davis, Daniel Hendrickson, Susanne Sachsse and Marc Siegel.
Those of you who are internationalists please rush to support Lia Gangitano the woman Suprema of Magical Arts and Sciences and founder of Participant Inc. Gallery the only not-for-profit art space left in New York City. We need Lia and what she brings to culture now more then ever as an antidote to the Gulag mentality that is sweeping the world and has now fully enveloped AmeriKKKa. Of course we always knew what was lurking in the stage door Johnny wings in goddessa foresaken US of A didn't we?

This time last year, we felt grateful.
This year, it’s harder.
PARTICIPANT’s value system is modeled on another time, past or future – it’s hard to tell. Our new-ness is haunted by prior activisms, and necessitates longtime political imperatives to seek out new tools to create – and make claims to describe – alternative worlds.
To move forward with determination and urgency, we seek to redefine our gratitude.

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Looking forward to: of poetry / John Willie / Matt Keegan / Baseera Khan / Dash Snow / Pauline Boudry and Renate Lorenz / Glendalys Medina / Damien Echols and Jen DeNike / G.B. Jones and Paul P. / Narcissister / Lyle Ashton Harris

Was able to spend a little girl-on-girl time with one of my oldest lady friends and collaborateurs the Mad Ms. Glen Meadmore. She was in Germany for two surprise shows in Liepzig and Berlin where she wowed the Burlesque frantic audience with her cowpunk antics at White Trash.
I love and adore this woman who at 6'8'' in her stalking feet is even taller then little womanly me who is miniscule at 6'6''. Ms. Meadmore's dayjob in LA is the limo driver to all the Hollywood Stars who love her and request her as their number one companion and driver of choice.
Had a nice reunion recently with rocker dude Rasp Thorne. Mr. Thorne is an American musician who is now a British citizen and just moved to Berlin a few weeks ago. Before that he was living in London and was married to the famed Jewess Tatooess Marisa Karnisky.
That Canuckian wonder of big titty hasculinity Baby Diaper Joel Gibb and his band The Hidden Cameras will perform Wednesday Dec 7th at 8pm at Music&Frieden in Berlin at: Falckensteiner Strasse 48
10997 in support of their new LP Home on Native Land. The big peniled Mr. Gibb is embracing his Home on the Range roots. I heard a preview of this material in the summer along with Alice Bag and its indeed impressive. Go to for more information.

Thursday, December 01, 2016

Alles hat ein Ende nur die Wurst hat zwei

So sorry I have not kept up with the latest moving pictures coming out of LaDeeDaahland, but the Autumn is always my busiest season so I havent had time to go to many of the free screenings provided to me. Here is my truncated report on the films I did see:  Arrival starring dull Amy Adams, duller Jeremy ”Prone to Nuclear Mudslides” Renner and a lethargic Forrest Whittaker. I sure would like to get with one off those Heptapods and their tree trunk eggplants. Imagine exxxtraterrestrials who write in fancy Butcher Holler style caligraphy and speak with a Hippo, dub progressive house accent.
The Harry Potter franchise has gotten a wee bit more interesting with their new series Strange Beauties and Fickle Admirers which features a troubled queer teen played by lovely Ezra Miller whose tight little booty hole keeps getting teased and fingered by power top Colin Farrell. Manipulative Alpha Mr. Farrell, just wont plow the lovesick puppy which causes him to go homo-cidal deathrock. The main storyline featuring lesbianic cutiepie Eddie Redmayne is less interesting, but I sure got pleasure out of seeing actress Samantha Morton. Just wish they gave her more to do.
Woody Allen's Cafe Society starring pigeon chested hunchback beauty Jesse Eisenberg, and saaphic hotsy totsy Kirsten Stewart almost does a pop goes the weazel. Next time take young precious Mr. Eisenberg and plop him in the lead of an adaptation of Bud Schulberg's What Makes Sammy Run?
Got a chance to see my beautiful child of high art, the gifted and talented New York based artiste Jonathan Berger who was traveling through Europa with his wonderful parents.  Red hot Jons treated Fearless Leader of CHEAP Susanne Sachsse and I to a brilliant luncheon at Mokkabar in the Bergman Kiez of Kreuzberg. 
One of my dearest girlfriends, the insanely divine musical genius Glen Meadmore is doing some surprise shows in Germany. Thursday December 1st he will be in Leipzig at the Felsen Keller and Friday at White Trash in Berlin. You know what to do.
Also on Thursday there is a record release party at Monster Ronsons 7-11pm for the late Brian Tennessee Claflin of Pork fame and Snax. The EP consists of several tracks they recorded together. Baby Brian's musical persona was known as Prix. Its a hand painted limited edition release by curmudeony Slovakian designer Mario Drzilla. Bruce “Judy” La Bruce and novelist Travis Jeppesen will be some of the celebrity guest DJ's.

I didnt grow up celebrating Christmas, that Christian adopted Pagan holiday thats only purpose is to propel danger capitalism, but a lot of my fans enjoy sending me presents during the holidays and I love accepting them. I adore books, so feel free to send me any and all you come across. On my wish list is Party of the Century by Deborah Davis about Truman Capote's Black and White Masked Ball at the Plaza Hotel in 1966. With my LA hotspot Bricktops at the ParlourClub I did a riff off of The Black&White Masked Ball for New Year's Eve 2003 that was quite a major success featuring performances by Brian Grillo and his Grillo Follies with special guest star Mink Stole, the John Waters legend. The tribal media loons have started camping out in front of the CHEAP offices thinking its where I live.  Some American website trying to create a fake scandal wrote about my relationship with movie director Brett Ratner. Of coure this was years ago when he was just a nebishy Jewish horndog sniffing about my panties at Club Sucker at the Garage my Sunday afternoon punk rock beer bust/performance salaon.  It seems that Brett's business partner a rich Australian dude named James Packer is somehow connected to the new Trump administration.  Where i figure into it i have no ideal.  One thing i can say is that I predict the VP Elect Mike Pense will have Trump assassinated so that he can get all the power.  Mr. Pense is more evil then Dick Chaney.  Mark my words. Remember Vaginal Davis in Swahili means she who cannot lie and is always right.

Tuesday, November 22, 2016

Ideen Visualisieren

Before jetting of on Swiss Air to Zurich Switzerland to teach a series of Performance Art Workshops under the banner Framing The Freakazoid: Doing-By-Doing at the ZhdK – The Zurich University of the Arts I went to the fabelshaft birthday dinner party of decorative artist Michael Dute the Konig von Wilmersdorf with Fearless Leader of CHEAP Susi Su, Marcuse Siegelstein and Bruce”Judy”LaBruce. The liquor and food was forever flowing and the atmosphere divoon. Herr Dute divides his time between San Francisco and Berlin and his glorious flat is a testicular testament to his skills as an artiste extroidinaire. Walking through his exalted threshold you enter the majick of ancient China, Pompeii or eighteenth-century France. The apartment is a joy to behold with luscious murals and glam rococo-inspired wall panels. Michael's home also serves as a Gertrude Stein style salon to some of the most fascinating habitues of Berlin high society. I was enthralled with his lovesexy and sophisticated lady friends and dapper gentlemen callers. Scene and heard: DL Alvarez who is the old San Francisco buddy of Michael Dute', Brian McBride(Michael's boyfriend) Marc, Michael's friend and flat mate, Christoph a famed historian, Ida Mullerr the famed set & costume designer and performer, Jens the charming old school tante from Braunschweig who lives in Michael's building and works at Mr. B., Marta the LA born Berlin based artist who comes from Mexican film producing royalty and studied at Art Center with Buckminster Fuller and a the famed Hashish Baeckerin to the shtars known for her excellent psychedlic cakes and brownies.

Joining me in Switzerland was the Love Camel Andrea Novarin. I had taught several times before in the 1990s and early 2000s at the ZhdK. Of course then it was at a different location and under a different name. The school merged in 2008 or so with the School of Art and Design and the School of Music Drama and Dance, and is affiliated with the Museum of Design. Rosina Kuhn the famous portraiturist whose son Cyril Kuhn was one of my students when I tag team taught at California Institute of the Arts with Ron Athey had first brought me to the school when I was doing some gigs in Milano, Turin and Bologna in the mid 1990s. Its during this time I first met Love Camel. Another one of my former students from Cal Arts Bea Schlingelhoff who is now in charge of the art program at ZhdK, and would like me to come back next year and teach a performance art seminar. On this trip I was invited by dimunitive British scholar Ian Rodney Wooldridge who was fascilitating an MA Symposium that I took part in. Also invited was the Canuckian artist Steve Reinke, the beautiful young Brit James Richards who lives in Berlin, and reminds me of Mike Skinner of The Streets, the gorgeous soft spoken Tibisi artist Ramaya Tegegne, Paul Pieroni, Brigitte Daetwyler, and Hannah Black. I was shocked and surprised that there were so many people at my artist talk. Lots of cute young kids came up to me to ask questions during the wine reception after the talk. One 20 year old boy a juicy mulatto mix of Dominican and Austrian had a spectacular mane of light brown curly hair.
Love Camel and I were housed at the Rothaus Hotel a former bordello in the red light district. Its surprising that there is still a funky area in such a boutique city as Zurich. Back in 2007 when CHEAP Blacky played at the Gessner Allee Theatre we stayed at the Rothaus. The wonderful secretaire of the MA department Miss Claudia remembered me when Rosina Kuhn had brought me to the school back in the 90s. The tech director of the department was a hunky American fellow named Philip Matesic exuding dinosaur dicque energy and looked like a younger, more muscular version of the writer James Fry.

I was taken to a fab dinner of traditional Swiss food at the atmospheric Alpenrose boite. Ian, Steve and some of my male students were all going to an underwear party at some gay bar, but I was way too exhausted to join them.

Tuesday, November 08, 2016

Verrueckt Nach Fixi

When Orange is the New Black Fuck Island of Mann announced his run for office last year I think I was the only persona in Christendom who took him seriously. I was the first to say that I don't think he really wants to be President because there is too much actual work involved. Even the laziest of Presidents like horny hedonist Jack Kennedy, once they are in office wind up working their tailfeathers to the bone,and aging accordingly.
Everyones uncle mothers druther laughed and dismissed my queenly opinion that Mr. Orange Ruffy actually stood a good chance of winning the election. I hope I am proven wrong but don't forget who was it that predicted in this very blogina the financial crisis of 2008.
I appologize for neglecting my readers but the Fall Season is always my most active. CHEAP kollektiv along with fearless leader Susanane Sachsse, Marcuse Siegelstein and Daniel Nancy Hendrickson triumphed in Prague with the CHEAP Piano Bar performative installation at the Lucerne Theatre for the Mezipatra QFF. This year's Queer Festival theme was The Limits of Liberty.
Bringing the American concept of the piano bar to Prague was no easy feat, but with the exceptionally generous sponsorship of the
Goethe Institut Praha we accomplished the impossible. The centerpiece of the installation being the fractured placement of a baby grand piano on a staircase. The CHEAPy's served their own cocktails that referenced the Czech Film New Wave, gave out chem sex Anti-Marriage narcotics to the adventurous and even managed to subvert the eastern european nations radiant youth who wound up leaving a fancy dress ball dance recital to partake in the sexual shenanigans and anarchy instigated by CHEAP with help from Ethel Waters, The Carter Family, Phoebe Snow and the Liza Minnelli diet.
Special thankx to Bruce “Judy” LaBruce as our very special tired old queen celebrity guest. Judy was in top form in Prague looking fit and trim and inspiring all the childrens heads with Judyline witticisms as only she can. Judy was the Jury president of the festival and being the party negro that she is was also Djaning at the Off Limits soiree at the Chemistry Gallery. As a special event the festival had a sold out screening of Hustler White celebrating the films 20 year anniversary.
Lots of attractive young people were at the opening night festivities that included a screening of the Austrian film Tom Cat which won the Teddy Award at the Berlinale this year. I found the acting by the feline leads Moises and Katherina thrilling and highly emotive. And I am not exactly a big fan of cats. I guess the moral of the film is that if you are a bougie white couple experiencing male pattern lesbian domesticity don't kill your lovers kitty.
Special thanx to handsome and patrician Jakob Racek of the Goethe Institut Praha who really understands the madness that is CHEAP, and Jakob's wonderful colleagues Isabel and Monika.
Jakob recommended an incredible restaurant called Lokal which had the most exquisite Czech food. Lokal was not far from the Park Hotel where we were housed,

Another shoutout to Pavel Bicek the lovesexxy artistic director of the film festival and his glorious staff of tireless professionals who gave their all to the piano bar. Kissy kisses to Kristyna Henovsova of OffProgram/Off Mezipatra, Jiri, Martin and our ninja security detail headed by Frantz, make-up artistes Jan Janout, Simona Sebikova' who made Susanne and I look like living dreamas, Veronika Koty Kova' who styled my wig in a dramatic Betty Page Pachuca coif.

Received several emugs from people who attended the 4 hour endurance installation of the CHEAP Piano Bar who wanted to know about the insane films that we screened during the evening.The anti-marriage PSA's were made by our very own Fearless Leader Susanne Sachsse, we also showed Hans Scheirl and Ursula Puerrer's Super 8 Girl Games, Pierre Yves Clouin's Cul en l'air, Alicija Zebrowska's The Mystery is Looking, Buddy Cole's Gay Marriage Clip featuring a cameo by Bruce “Judy”LaBruce from Kids in the Hall, “Taking a Chance on Love” number from the 1943 all-black Cabin in the Sky film by Vincente Minnelli and the CHEAPy Underground Uber Alles Award went to the late Vera Chytilova'.

Before going to Prague to do CHEAP Piano Bar I was invited to Hochschule fuer Gestaltung Offenbach Fachbereich Kunst to lecture and give a workshop. Over 300 people crammed into a tiny lecture hall to hear my talk which really surprised me. The wonderful Juliane Rebentisch had been wanting to bring me to Offenbach for some time and it finally worked out. A student group that Juliane is advisor to pulled out all the stops in making me feel very welcome on campus and the students in my workshop scored major homeruns in inventiveness and focus. Special thankx to Arootin Mirzakhani, Anne Graefe and Brenda Lien for making my time in Offenbach so rewarding and fun.
I made a special appearance at the great Hannah Hurtzigs Mobile Academy/Black Market Event at Hamburg's Kampnagel as well. Hannah is one of Germany's hardest working curators and an art innovator par excellance. I first met Hannah back in 2001 in Berlin when she was at the Volksbuhner and I did my piece Sucking Her UnBorn Cock as part of the Rich and Famous Festival at Prater. From the moment I met Hannah I loved her spirit, humour and style.
I've been a special guest at the Mobile Academy at least four times and its always a wonderful experience because like me Hannah is all about the details.
Juicy kissolas to Hannah and her Blk Market Staff of Kyra, Lea, Sarah Lewis of the famous Lewis clan and my handsome film student assistant Maxmillian who was perfect in every way.
Wanted desperately before the election results to tell you what it was like being in Washington DC on the Elmer Occasion of being invited as a keynote presenter at the Creative Time Summit Occupy the Future.
After last year's New York triumph of The Magic Flute and my solo art exhibition Come on Daughter Save Me at Invisible-Exports Gallery I experienced a bonafide New York moment with accolades in the press-New York Times, New Yorker Magazine, Art Forum etc. I remember a time when back in LA in the 1980s the Los Angeles Times would only refer to me as V. Davis if I was mentioned at all. It wasn't until I received my first press in the NY Times in the early 1990s concerning my zine Fertile LaToyah Jackson and the zine movement itself which became this phenomena that the mainstream media decided to run with as a so called predicted “next big thing”

Then the lovely Hilton Als wrote a sweet review and profile off me in the New Yorker in 1991 after I did a packed spoken word reading at the old Different Light Bookstore in Greenich Village. Getting so much press in NYC and in Europe at that time my own daily newspaper the LA Times couldn't ignore me anymore and started to print my full name of Vaginal Davis. So I am use to the follow the leader mentality.

After last years success with my the CHEAP kollektiv version of The Magic Flute I was barraged with invites to perform and also calls from tired Hollywood TV and movie people. I had never heard of Creative Time before, so when their creative director Nato Thompson contacted me I asked my former student Jonathan Berger who is a child of New York high art about Creative Time and he gave me the A-OK. I've always been suspicious of institutions and those who work for them. People from good families always wind up in these gatekeeper positions. None of us pure folk ever get to sit at these tables.
Which reminds me when I went to the poovah prep school Choate on scholarship, it was my first encounter with the immaculate children of WASP wealth. Getting to know the kids from the great families of the East I was surprised at how forlorn and unloved they were. Talk about family damage. It softened my disdain somewhat of the rich as I realized being a welfare child, I was much better off then most of them were. No one expected anything from me, so being an overachiever in the gifted program in the LA Unified School District led to my going to a fancy prep school with elites and also being the first one in my family at University. Even though I am still poor, and still live hand-to-mouth, at least I don't have to work a day job as a wage slave, and I get invited to art festivals all over the world where I am fussed over and pampered. This ghetto child has certainly come a long way.

Arriving at Dulles Airport on an unseasonably warm Autumn afternoon the lovely Creative Time intern Thandowethu Miambo, a recent Barnard graduate from Africa was there to whisk this little lady D to her spacious suite at the Hilton Homewood in the city center just blocks away from the White House. For a mansion the White House is surprisingly tiny.
Pretty and stylish Thando took me to the opening nite celebration and kick off party at Blind Whino which reminded me of the Womens Building in the Mission District of San Francisco where I performed in the 90s at the Dirty Bird Festival.
After getting off of a long planeride I am always starving, and gorgeous summit coordinator Teal Baskerville treated me to a sumpteous meal courtesy of a Food Truck parked outside the soiree grounds.
Grub down my gullet, white wine and a cornucopia of man candy of all shapes, sizes and ethnicities put a Jack Pumpkinhead grin on my giantessa face.
The olde hairy eyeball was popping in the car ride to the party getting to sit next to hot and lovesexy Henry Arteaga of the JKE Crew Peligrosos of Medellin,Columbia and his very beautiful, sweet translator Vanessa Cuervo. I sure would love to haunt Henry's HipHop School. Shaking his muscular hand reminded me of my That Fertile Feelings co-star Johnny Dark another Columbian tiny in stature but muscular with a huge penis filled with delicious leche fresca.
Entertainment at the party was provided by Michelle Blackwell and the GoGo Allstars. Was sweet to see all the children including the juicy Creative Time interns Karin Shankar, Jonathan Gardenshire and Alice Ecceles enjoying themselves on the dancefloor.
Didn't want to be a party pooper scooper but I needed to get back to my hotel room and wait for Hector Martinez the Swedish Mexican Insurance executive to arrive. So sweet of Hector to take time from his busy schedulina to come and help me at the summit. I also needed to try and get some sleep so that I'd be somewhat fresh for the first day of festivities.
Woke up at 4am mega jet lagged. Little later went down to the complimentary breakfast with Hector. The food was actually pretty good as most American places have crappy free breakfasts unlike the excellent ones that are standard in Europa. The only bad thing was the coffee that tasted like a brown melted crayon in hot water. So wonderous catching up on all the Silverlake 40 gossip with Hector. It felt good having Hector here as my backup singer and personal Ninja bodyguard. Hector was in the Marinecore during his youth so he can kill with his bare hands. Lovely English Rose Lady Alice came to fetch this Dollybird at 7:45am. Lady Alice is a recent Yale grad, very stylish and Sloan Rangery. My performance wouldn't be till Saturday but I came to the theatre a day early so that I could do a soundcheck at the Lincoln Theatre where the summit would take place. The Lincoln is a historic TOBA(Tough on Black Asses) vaudeville circuit theatre built in 1922 in the olde Negro Quartier which is now a gentrified area of the city. Everything was crazed for the first day so I didn't get a chance to sound check or do a run through. Met Nato Thompson who is a cute, dimunitive man with a Sponge Bob Square Pants accent that I found very sweet and charming. He comes from activist circles I gather, and seems quite sincere and excitable. On stage he mentioned he was married with a child, but I think he has a little sugar in his tank. I also met Katie Hollander the patrician Executive Director of Creative Time and Sally Szwed the no nonsense summit director. The stage set was created by the Floating Lab Collective, and I was delighted that it would match my Rick Owens couture Etruscan gown and shoes.
Section One of the first day was under the theme of Occupy Power.
The first keynote speaker was supposed to be Haneen Zoabi the Palestinian politician who made history in 2009 when she became the first Arab woman to be elected to Israel's parliament the Knesset. Ms. Zoabi couldn't make it so she sent an enchanting young Palestinian woman Layla Ashayear to read a statement for her. It was a nice way to begin the summit and change the status quo narrative.
Jonas Staal was supposed to give a talk and a workshop at the summit, but was denied a visa to the USA because of his work with Syrian Kurds. Peter Svarzbein, the attractive pepperpot Jewish/ Latino artist, curator and media disrupter was the standout in the Occupy Power section with his presentation on the El Paso Transnational Trolley Project. Mr. Svarzbein warmed my heart because he put his penis were his mouth is and ran for city counsel and won, receiving a 97 million state grant for an intra city trolley route using the original street cars than ran between El Paso and Juarez.
The British art collective Liberate Tate presented how they managed to divest the museum from receiving corporate funding through the evil British Pertroleum Corporation.
Journal Rappe two Senegal rappers who created a news program done entirely in rap verse. After watching the dullard news programs on American TV in my hotel room, switching to a rap format would be a welcome relief.
There was also a report from Syria by Radio Souriali, but the jet lag started rearing its fugly head and my notes came out a jumbled mess. I picked up some examples of digestable satire from The Great Tortilla Conspiracy to bring home as presents. My Rick Owens gown needed some repairing that Hector helped take care of for me thank god, and he treated me to a wonderful luncheon at Mulebone a healthy soul food boite that reminded me of a more upscale version of LA's Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. Loved the d├ęcor of murals depicting Black Renaissance writer Zora Neal Hurston whose image I used on the text of my presentation. Hector and I went back to the hotel to take a disco nap for the remaining part of the summit but because of our jet lag we didn't wake up till everything was over which was just as well as I needed to concentrate on being ready for my performance which was bright and early the next day as part of the Queer and Now Section.
I still didn't get a proper soundcheck, and was thrown off a bit when the tech people bungled my soundscape but it didn't matter so much as my visual details were strong and I looked good on stage. I felt a little unsure about being my sections fascilitator but it actually turned out really well as the questions I asked were more playful in nature as I didn't feel like making direct comments on their presentation as that would be too reductive. I had never heard of artist Andrea Bowers who has lived in Los Angeles since 1990 originally from Ohio. She is quite beautiful and we are of the same generation so we got along like old girlfriends. Ryan Hammond is a youthful artist whose work explores the interplay between culture and biology and is very personable. Sheldon Scott is an engaging local Washingtonian who reminded me of a young Brian Freeman of Afro Pomo Homo.
Patricia Ariza the co-founder and director of Teatro La Candelaria and of Corporacion Columbiana de Teatro is the pure embodiment of the Cholita song Essays de la Mujer. She gave a rousing manifesto presentation that had the audience in complete solidarity with her.
I was so happy to be finished so that I could see the rest of the program. Undressing made me miss the Report From Ukraine by Anna Hutsol (Femen). But I did catch the hilarious Janani Balasubramanian who is a cute energetic socio pathic scientist dealing in quantum physics under the helm of The Case of Nonsens

The summit was celebrating the 100 year anniversary of DaDa and so the Austrian kollektiv Gelitin were just beyond perfect singing nonsense Gregorian chants wearing stunning Leigh Boweryesque costumes with a film of the kollektiv members plowing their own ceramic sculptures with their big dicque thickeruses. The audience didn't exactly know how to process Gelitin, I think that some were disturbed by it but in a good way and those who got it really got it! It was nice having some people from my own weird scene representing in DC. This was only my second time in the state capital, and I love the city and its very attractive denizens.
It was great meeting in person Kenneth Tin-Kin Hung who is simply gorgeous. He could be a movie star with his handsome face and muscular, fit body. I would love to give him a tongue bath. Kenneth has even collaborated with CHEAP Kollektiv on some early CHEAP projects like Global Capitalism at the opening of HAU as a new theatre institution. Kenneth came to the attention of CHEAP through the Blue Bros Tim & kJohnny. When kJohnny lived in New York he worked quite often with the amazing Mr. Hung who I am sure is the living embodiment of his name. His presentation at the summit called Shit Wars was pure ribald genius.
The highlight of Day Two for me had to be Melissa Mays Report From Flint Michigan(Water You Fighting For). Melissa reminded me of my mother who in the late 60s when we lived in South Central LA started the first urban gardens by taking over all these vacant lots and planting fruit and vegetables to feed the poor people in our neighborhood. Direct action with no frills thats what I find the most engaging way of being an activist.
I also loved Thomas Frank and the legendary Carrie Mae Weems who were playfully combative during the Troubled Democracy section. Ms. Weems wasn't featuring the tech peoples gaffes.
Hector and I went to the Corcoran Gallery for the closing night party and had a really nice time chittle chatting, but since I remained jet lagged during the entire time I was in DC I was glad to get back to the hotel room and the comfort of my large bed.
The Creative Time Summit is a lovely art and political congress. A lot of work went into producing it and the results were splendid. In the future I think they should let some presentations be a little bit longer like an hour for keynote and 20 minutes for the mini talks. And time for proper sound checks and or rehearsals need to be allocated. It would be difficult under the current structure, but I think they should strive to find a way to make that happen. Well thats my 22cents.

Monday, October 10, 2016

Pump macht stark

French supershtar Alain Delon's 22 year old fashion model son Alain Fabien accompanied Jewish Muzlim Daniel Hendrickson and I to the anime art installation Delete Beach at HAU 3. Delete Beach is by the British video art joy Phil Collins and is part of the HAU's festival Die Asthetik des Widerstandis-Peter Weiss 100. I adore Mr. Phil Collins. He is a Good Time Sally of the highest order. 
Delete Beach reminded me of the 1960s Japanese cartoon The Amazing Three. A3 tells the tale of three aliens who come to earth to destroy all humankind and save the universe from menace. A3 are disguised as a bunny, a duck and a horse, and wind up in sexy shenanigans with a juicy teenage farm boy.
For all you Washington DC Vagimulic fans out there, the doll will be the keynote speaker at the Creative Time Summit-Occupy the Future. Lady Davis hasn't been in DC since 2001 when she was on a 50 city tour with Margaret Cho. Back then the nations capital was very sleazy. Don't know what to expect on this trip. Ms. Davis will headline the queer section of the congress that also features LA based artist Andrea Bowers, South American poet Patricia Ariza, Ryan Hammond and Sheldon Scott. Also taking part in the three day festival Ian McKaye of Fuguzi and Minor Threat fame, the Austrian performance kollektiv Gelitin and Alicia Garza of Black Lives Matter. My original gangster pal Hector Martinez from Edendale via Southgate and Watts will come out to support his stinky lady and will certainly madd dogg anyone who gets on my last raw nerve. I wonder if Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, who in his frat boy premature ejaculating youth was a major hornpig chaser of my ilk of ladies will be in attendance?

Saturday, October 01, 2016


I thought that when I moved away from Los Angeles to Berlin over ten years ago, I would stop getting offers from TV and movie people for work in the awful mainstream entertainment industry. Its hysterical that they still contact my live art agent in London Andrea Novarin or my Berlin assistant Gleeson Brevard. They find it hard to believe that someone is not interested in their wicked system of things.  Some guy name Bryan Lourd tracked me down at my last Rising Stars, Falling Stars performative screening at silent green KulturQuartier.  All these fasttalking showbiz careerist types are a scream.
Some of the British tabloids have been writing about my having an affair with the cute little Brit actor/dancer Jamie Bell.  That is preposterous as I am old enough to be his great grandmother.  Another tabloid linked me with Gabriel Kane Day Lewis the son of Daniel Day Lewis and Isabelle Adjani.  Gabriel is a model and is barely out of his teens, so no I am NOT having sex with him.  I barely even know him as he is friends with one of my former students who is a fashion model.  
Fearless leader of CHEAP kollektiv Susanne Sachsse and Marcuse Siegelstein invited Jewish Muzlim Daniel Hendrickson and I for drinks at this cute little Potsdamer Strasse pub called Victoria Bar.  I had a great time drinking and gossiping about who has drop kicked whom, and we also talked about the recent death of horror director Hershel Gordon Lewis.  I was even in a shortlived band in the 1980s called Gore Gore Girls named after one of his films.  I also heard that Suzan Straus the famous Lava Lady of the LaBrea/Melrose corridor died age 86.  I first met Suzan in the early 1980s when she would shop at Retail Slut on Melrose Avenue where I worked and did the window displays. Ms. Strauss was a Los Angeles style original in her rocket platform shoes, burlap twin set outfits and phallus hair bun.  She lived in a modest  Hancock Park adjacent  home that was covered in lava rock. After i moved to Germany I heard she moved to Palm Beach Florida to be near her grown children or something to that affect.  I am sure the awful state of Florida could never appreciate someone with such an eccentric style and serene demeanor.
Heard that the beloved thrasher skater champion Brian "Better Youth" Anderson came out of the closet as a "gay".  I remember him when he was just a hot, humpy, big stinky feet kid in the 90s,  I never figured BA for a fagula, but he would come to my afternoon punk rock beer bust Club Sucker at the Garage in Silverlake with Hollywood's favorite horndog Orion "Wiley E. Coyote" Dailey.  And Wiley was notorious for bagging cute skater boys with his job working for Goldenvoice the punk touring and promotions company.  Goldenvoice is now pretty mainstream in that they produce that big moneymaking machine known as Coachella Music Festival.  I wonder if Wiley still works for Goldenvoice.  I loved that Wiley who was always surrounded by the most delectable of cute punk, skater and surf rats.  Rick van Sant who i knew from the Screamer days died several years ago and the founder of  Goldenvoice Gary Tovar got busted about 25 years ago for his mota empire.
Oh let me stop getting all nostalgic.