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Friday, August 24, 2007

SCHON KLAR UND WELCHE WURTER SIND DAS
Invited to a scrumpteous feast of many divine courses by Annette Frick and Wilhelm Hein, Germanys first couple of experimental film and photography. Joining the lady Ms. Davis, her ninja mutant body guards the Blue Bros. Tim and Kjohnny. The dinner score provided by Thelonius Monk with assist by the recently departed great jazz drummer Max Roach and an exciting mix of guests including the haute art couple Klaus Loeser and Jacobina, and other young film stars that circle the Hein/Frick orbit.
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Feeling nostalgic i started to think about whatever happened to Zachary, the famed tux wearing MC of the early 80s punk scene, also Tina Benet, the drag junior pop star from the same period. I even started wondering out loud about my old trick Myrakle, the big dicqued ginger hippy dippy horn pig, who loved cornholing, or at least trying to cornhole young boys. When i met the nut i was in my mid twenties but i lied and told him i was only 19, so of course he was all over me, but i wouldnt give him any puddy as i sensed he was a love em and leave em type.
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Lady Stefanie of the Arsenal and her wonderful comrades in arms have been putting together some sublime katakas that are becoming the talk of all Berlin town. And with special guests like the legendary Yvonne Rainer, its no wonder that all eyes are focused on Freunde der Deutschen Kinemathek. We went cruising the Dam, as in Potsdamer to catch the Where Am I, Vom Verschwinden, Verstecken und Wiederfinden expertly paced programa which featured works by MM Sera, Klaus Telscher, Karo Gooldt, and Ayse Erkmen, with live appearances by Tim Blue of Cheap, humpy Rusky Steffen Ramlow, and vivacious Isabel Spengler, who also had an installation in the Red Foyer.
Daniel of Cheap even spent some time with the nutty Istanbul professor and coffee cup soothsayer, who is featured in Erkmens hilarious Coffee.
The celebutantes in attendance> Daniel Hendrickson, Annette Frick, Wilhelm Hein, Radcliffe Hallish diva Antonia Baehr, handsome and patrician Uli of the Berlinales Forum, who told me that he didnt care for working with the French TV company Arte awhile back. The manlische, lanky editor of Scrub Magazine Justine, pulling the popsicle chord next to baby faced Arsenal, Cheap Gossip intern Julius, KJohnny Blue, and the blackest white girl in Berlin Nanna Heidenreich who has one luscious onion ass, that is soooo good, it makes you cry.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

MIR DEN KAMM ZUNICK
There is this nutty tradition in Germany where youngish men, and sometimes men a bit long on the tooth from the provinces dressed in chimney sweep garb go wandering throughout the big cities in a form of sanctioned begging. I´ve been noticing it more and more, and its really ill.
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Sports coats and more sports coats. I see more men of varying ages wearing a sports coat over jeans or dress slacks. These sports coats are either of light material or heavy during the winter. I find sports coats a bit apalling. What do you think?
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Now lets move on to hair. If i see one more boy wearing the faux hawk/mullet coiffure i will start screaming and never stop. Daniel of Cheap says that Berlin is the city where every youth culture fashion from the last 50 years languishes and refuses to die. I think he is right. And speaking of death, this is a perfect segue into death rock and goth-two subcultures that are appropriately mega in a city like Berlina where actual death, of time immemorial hovers throughout its basin. Goth here has somehow transmorgified and fused with the Matrix movie and Columbine. On hot, humid days you can see many an xurbian male roaming the u-bahn stations with long black coats, hair in a ponytail, shaved on the sides and died black. These men always are pasty skinned, lacking chins with bland features, and seem like they spend countless hours playing Dungeons and Dragons. Don´t get angry with me, Ricky Castro´s of the world, i´m just expressing an opinion. If you don´t care for my opinions,and or you find offense, calmly stop reading this blog.
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One more observation. White people must stop wearing their hair in dreadlocks. It looks horrible on blacks, but on whites its even worse. That goes for the tendril dreads, and the shaved head with one dread fish tail. And please, please stop forming drum circles. If you can´t clap to the beat, how are you supposed to drum to it.
MIR DEN KAMM ZUNICK

Monday, August 20, 2007

UNSA F√úSIEGIEHRA
Wonderous brunchette with Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, just back from a specialty engagement in Munich where he and his musical kollective were the special play things of a famous German/Turkish footballer named Mehmet who had them perform at a stadium during an exhibition game as part of the festivities of Manlische Mehmet´s 36th birthday and retirement from the pitch. Mr. Mehmet whose last name i don´t remember, but i am sure you football fans know him, because he is one of the biggest stars of the game in Teutonia, even bought all the band members, and choir full leather lederhosen.
Getting back to our private brunchina, it featured super tasty Israeli dancer Assaf Hochman of Catherine Sullivan´s troup, entrepreneur Marco Herbst, and a very understated Baroness Anna Von Hahn who is a big Vaginal Davis fan and has been since she was a teenager. That means i am super old folks.
Joel Gibb is off again, this time to Stockholm, and from their back to his Canadian homeland for a few months of recording. I will miss the baby diaper, which is his new nickname, that everyone now is calling him, thanks to yours truelly.
I don´t care for dogs and Berlin is a very dog oriented town. Even the drunken Kotbusser Tor crusties have rangy mutts, that look just like them. One positive thing i can say about dog owners in Berlina is that they train their pooches. LA dog owners could learn a lesson from their sister city counterparts.
If you are a hetero woman and want to get married and knock out babies. Berlin is the place to do that. The men here, are easily henpecked and love being stay-at-home dads, in fact they excel in it, and you see more cute young dads then in any western city, and i mean hands-on-dads, who at least don´t treat their children like fashion accesories the way the bougie do in the states.
Like in Amerikkka, the normals in Germany are uber normal. But when you find fun, frolicsome Germans with a great sense of humour, hold on to them for dear life, because they are few and far between. And don´t let me start about "the German gays". Thats another book in and of itself.