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Thursday, March 09, 2023

Schmutziger Missionar in Nahaufnahme

I am not an influencer. Yet somehow some Hollywood types who shall remain nameless are still concerned with my opinion on their films and television series and send me a bunch of their products in hopes that I will write about it in on my blog that lets face the factoids I don´t really update very regularly because in the last year I´ve had to deal with my health tissues in having late onset type one diabetes.

Before diabetes it was the pandemic that dampened my enthusiasm to write regularly in the blogina. Well since my diagnosis, I´ve been having some problems with hypertension which led me back to the wonderful militar hospital for a short stay. I must proclaim that my main priority in the writing departmentals has been in trying to get a handle on my autobiographical novel Mary Magdalene. I´m so fortunate that one of my dearest and oldest pals and distant tutonic relative Norman von Holtzendorf has been supporting me in a major way with this project.

When I was in the hospital I was able to binge on some TV and films sent my way and though this is long in coming here is my thoughts on some of these offerings.

I don´t agree with these media types that since the advent of cable TV have lauded television series as being so high quality and what not. Television is and always will be television. That makes it limited on so many levels no matter how much raunchy sex they pretend to show or curse words uttered from characters mouths. The only quality TV that has ever existed came about in televisions infancy in the late 1940s and early 1950s when programs were recorded live. Of course there have been a few exceptions in the decades since then with The Judy Garland variety show in the early 1960s, Twilight Zone and Night Gallery by Rod Sterling, Alfred Hitchcock Presents, Playhouse 90, the original Star Trek, Space 1999, TV movies starring Patty Duke, (My Sweet Charlie)Hope Lange (That Certain Summer, Crowhaven Farm), Tuesday Weld (Reflections of Murder), Ann-Margret, (The Two Mrs. Grenvilles)Upstairs, Downstairs, I Claudius, Brideshead Revisited, The Duchess of Duke Street, Love For Lydia, Linda Blair(Sarah T. Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic), Eve Plumb (Dawn: Portrait of a Teenage Runaway), Leigh J. McCloskey,(Alexander: The Other Side of Dawn) the original mini series of Alex Haley´s Roots, David Lynch´s On the Air but not Twin Peaks), The Carol Burnett Show, The Mitzi Gaynor Specials, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Rhoda, Phyliss, The Snoop Sisters, Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, Fernwood Tonight, and Phoebe Cates in Lace part one and two with the famous quotes, "Which one of you bitches is my mother?" and Which one of you bastards is my father!"


Harlem (Series 1&2)-Representation Representation Representation is a lovely thing and I adored the Black Girl alchemy of the cast especially Jerrie Johnson as soft butch studkin Tye, Shoniqua Shandai as the effervescent sexpert Angie, veteranas Jasmine Guy&Whoopie Goldberg and the sensational Bevy Smith as Aunt Tammy who needs her own television series as she is up there in the big leagues of a Jennifer Lewis, JackeĆ© Harry, Janet Dubois, Nell Carter and LaWanda Page as a scene stealer who I can´t get enough of. All of the women in the program are hands down more interesting then any of the men on every acting level, but I can´t resist seeing beautiful hunky blaktors like Sullivan Jones who I need as my 
I´ll do anything for husband, Drake look-a-like Tyler Lepley and some of the most striking male bodies in one-off parts that have ever graced the boob tube. It´s a downright crime that there are no full frontals of some of these men.

Magic Mike´s Last Dance-Director Steven Soderbergh must really be wildly in love with humpy ex hustler/waiter/personal trainer Channing Tatum, and who can blame him as Tatum is one delectable morsel of jarheaded beefykins. Instead of a tepid romance between the luscious Mr. Tatum and gorgeous Selma Hayek playing a strangely not so subtle version of herself -- the Pinault trophy wife who will one day soon be divorcing her fugly billionaire. 

 The real tale lies in the fudgepacking finesse that Tatum must apply to his bi-weekly sessions with La Soderbergh -- the glabrous director strewn spread Jeanne Eagles style in a Beverly Crest ultra homo moderne Patrick Nagle adorned mansion with one leg over the kitchen sink and the other limp on a roccoco dresser top.

Babylon-An elephants projectile excrement is the highlight of this epic messticle plus Jean Smart´s eye shadow as Elinor Glyn.

The Inspection-Gabrielle Union doing her best impression of Monique in the film Precious was the standout along with lead actors Jeremy Pope, Raul Castillo, Bokeem Woodbine and Eman Esfandi.

Triangle of Sadness-The expressive face of Dolly DeLeon, Harris Dickinson´s pert pink nips and the vomitorium make this film one of the best of 2022.

Everything, Everywhere All at Once- I Adore Michelle Yeoh and Jamie Lee Curtis but don´t care for video games as feature film which unfortunately is where cinema is headed.

Tar - The scenes filmed in Berlin were the best, but is Cate Blanchette slowly morphing into the high wide and handsome Meryl Streep? I hope not.

Elvis -The only Baz Lehrman film I´ve been able to stomach without getting dizzy.

Glass Onion-Forgot everything about the film right after viewing it.

Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris-Can´t believe they still make little films like this. Leslie Manville and Isabelle Huppert are geniustrata.

AfterSun  -  Paul Mescal is the beauty of all Black Irish beauties.  He deserves everything and more and needs to be tongue bathed on a daily basis.