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Saturday, March 24, 2007

Nor do they want to see a movie that she directed, or wear clothes that she has designed, so this disgusting campaign by H&M that is spread throughout Berlin billboards is really revolting. Madge please take your big dick husband and children, and retire from public life. You´ll be the better for it, really you will.
And i don´t want to hear from all you sad faggots who worship the diva into the gas chambers.
Rehearsals for the Cheap production of Max und Moritz have been going nicely. We did a full run through of Tricks 1-3, and the piece is really taking delicious shape. Director and Fearless Leader Suzi Su and Dragon Yvonne(the choreographer)have done an amazing job of realizing this project.
Got an email a few weeks ago from Texas Terri that she moved to Berlin. LA has really taken a turn for the worse, if a Hollywood rock n roll chick like Miss Texas has made the jump across the bridgespan. Who will be next Mr. Dan and Paul V? OOOOO i hope not.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Just returned from a delightful trip to Montreal, Canada where i lectured at McGill University along with professor Jose Esteban Munoz of NYU. 800 eager eyed coeds came out to see us on a Friday nite on a commuter campus, no less. Jose wowed them with his anti gay marriage tome, while the doll talked about her exploits as an art whore in Europa. The Carter Family set the tone of this soundtrack, and Tim Blue of kollective Cheap gave me a copy of his documentary of our Austrian Styria performance calvacade with slides taken by fearless leader Suzi Su. I began my lecturina with the spoken word piece and accompanying images "Tom Cruise Loves Women"
It feels good to know that you´re still relevant to the radiant youth.
Special thanks to the lovely Iranian goddess Leila Pourtavaf for being such an amazing hostess with the mostess on her hairy eyeballs. We were royally taken care of with suites at the Omni Hotel, fabu dinners, nights drinking and stinking plus limo lap dances at Taboo, where i was seduced by a 21 year old Portugeuse fisherman of unearthly endowments.
Over three hundred packed into the Articule Gallery to see me screen The Berlin Stories, Cheap Rumourville, One Man Ladies and Dr. Chris Teen, Sexual Surrogate where Judy LaBruce and I play careerist dykes. One sweet Saaph told me she use to sneak into my Club Sucker when she was a 15 year old baby dyke living in Orange County. Now in Montreal she owns Revolution an une nouvelle boutique de bicyclette where you can also get your hair cut.
The big dance party in our honor was held at Le Studio, attended by thousands and featuring performances by the lovesexy Jane Birkinesque chanteuse Donzelle, and provacateuse Mikiki, who gave herself a champagne enema while singing in glossalia style Amazing Grace. I would love to take Mikiki under my mentor wing and style her, she really has something there that needs to be fine tuned. I appreciate that she makes her own outfits, and has a whimsical sense of self, but i could help her dial it all in.
The wonderful DJs Sho Sho, Leanne, Kandis and Will Munro of Vaseline fame were all extroidinary, but Dr. Munoz and I being old hagathas had to leave the party early. I am glad i did, because i would not have met young French actor Guillaume Canet in the elevator. It was snowing outside, but my room was now well heated by Mr. Canet´s frommage quetat. yummy.
Our last day in Montreal, the brilliant, sexually virulant young patrician Iranian artist Amir Baradaran took us for afternoon tea at Nocochi. The chocolate Persian confections we sampled were beyond major ms. gorgeous. The owner started her career in Dubai creating dainties for the royal families of the Arab world. Now she rules an entire empire of excellence in Canada. Mr. Baradaran promises to bring me to Iran, and i would be willing to follow him to the far reaches of the worlds end.
Thank you to Q-team Collective, Articule and La Centrale Galleries, Campus Student Life Fund,Center 2110, Union for Gender Empowerment, Concordia Sexual Diversity Alliance, Simone De Beuvoir Institute,QPIRG McGill and Concordia, the Dean of Arts Development Fund, and all i met on this trip for making my visit such a stunning success. Montreal reminds me of Portland, Oregon in the late 1970s and early 1980s. Leaving a boy titty bar on Faubourg Ste Catherine a young man pulled out his enormous penis right on the street, corner and started doing helicopters. No one has ever done that to me in Berlin, nést pas?