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Wednesday, October 16, 2019


Die besten Methoden aus dem Profisport

Another one of Ms. Vaginal Davis´excerpts from her upcoming novel Mary Magdalene:

Mountain Greenery

Nagel was a muscular piece of burnt ember from the Islands. Don’t ask me which Island. All I know is that when Coen and I reached the cruise bar on a Saturday night sometime after midnight Nagel and Leander were locked in conversation. Actually Nagel was doing all the talking and Leander was just nodding his head. I didn’t know Nagel that well, but Leander and I have been friends for over 25 years, though we hadn’t been getting along very well of late.

It wasn’t difficult to notice that Leander was besotted. Well yeah on the surface Nagel was dishy. He was tall, broad shouldered, fit and quite a spectacular Nubian specimen in his early fifties. Leander was an olde school dinger from before the Rains of Ranchipur. Part of me wanted to spare Leander the heartbreak of psoriasis, but I wasn’t sure if it was my place to intercede. You see Nagel had gone out with my colleague Frit for almost two years. Frit didn’t like to be thought of as a purveyor of the nitty gritty even though all his past beaus were of the dark hued variete´.

When Frit first met Nagel I thought oooh what a good match. Nagel was very grand, from an upper middle class background. I thought Nagel could shake Frit from his crusty trappings and maybe get him to bathe a little more often and perhaps brush his teeth. Frit’s slogan for avoiding soap and water being that we are all animals and need to accept our animal scents and odours. That kind of rant was lame when I first heard it back in my twenties from street punks in San Francisco. You can somewhat get away with being stank and slatterny when you’re young and cute, but not when you’re a grizzly salty dog in your late forties.

Frit was talented and not without charm, but I didn’t want to be stuck down wind of him, and because he was also a chain smoker his breath reeked like a rodent had died lodged somewhere between tongue and tonsil.

Nagel was very controlling with Frit and tried desperately to mold him into the model white boyfriend. Nagel had lived in Berlin for many years but had never been able to connect with the precious pieces of “high snow” that were part of his regular social orbit. I imagined his haughtiness kept them at a distance. Before meeting Frit, Nagel had a longterm fuckbud in the form of a macho middle aged working class Turkish man. They shared nothing in common other then the Turk`s love of penetrating Nagels sinewy obsidian asstrovar.

Nagel saw potential in Frit and decided he would be his fixer upper. I am really surprised they lasted as long as they did. One time Frit uncharacteristically screamed at me thinking I was giving him shady lady bird over whether he could do something without Nagel’s explicit approval. It was actually one of the few times I wasn’t dropping the Venetian blinds as I have a habit of accidentally on purpose doing. I was very shockedheaded Peter to see Frit nix his casual cool guy persona, as it was something he cultivated with peptic rigour. It was soon after the incident where Frit yelled at me that he broke up with Nagel. Frit often confided in me that he felt Nagel forced him into the role of nuptial breadwinner. Frit also bragged that Nagel possessed the penis of a dinosaur, but exclusively enjoyed only a passive role. Nagel was horrified if any lover or trick even suggested that he be active. With Frit Nagel would just quietly lay on his back holding his legs behind his ears signaling to Frit he was ready to be forcefully mounted. Frit considered himself sexually versatile so his sex life with Nagel was beyond frustrating. He had never wanted to become anyone`s ideal husband. When Nagel insisted on cutting his toenails for him that signalled the end.

Of course I couldn’t spill any of this to Leander at the bar. When Nagel was in gestural monologue mode it was impossible for anyone else to cut in. Coen and I left them after about fifteen minutes to meet some friends at another pub. Two days later I got filled in by Leander that he had to sit through Nagel´s verbosity till 5am before they retired to Nagel´s flat, only to realize that they were both Elizabeth Regina´s in dire need of a robust Prince Phillip.

Tuesday, October 15, 2019


Susanne Sachsse's radio play version of Original Sin this Wednesday Oct 16th 8pm.

Original Sin on NDR - German national radio and the latest CHEAP Funk at Rebooty FM.

Dear CHEAP Friends

It's been a while and I'll keep it brief. Please take 90 minutes this Wednesday, October 16 at 8pm (20 Uhr) to listen to Susanne Sachsse's first radio play, ORIGINAL SIN. DER GANG DER FRAU IM SOZIALISMUS on NDR. This is the radio play based on the story that inspired the concert Original Sin with Xiu Xiu which CHEAP has performed throughout the land. Many of the songs from the concert are incorporated into the radio play. But the radio play not only has additional music by Jamie Stewart/Xiu Xiu but also the fantastic actors:

Silvia Rieger as Luise Brand

Kathrin Angerer as Susanne's Mother

Margarita Broich as The Dramaturg

Susanne Sachsse as the Narrator and Susanne

...and many more

You can listen to it on Wednesday, Oct 16 at 20 Uhr (Berlin time) here:

For a complete list of the great cast and crew and for more information.,sendung959728.html

...And, as always, don't forget that CHEAP contributes a live monthly radio show, CHEAP Funk, to the great artist radio station Our latest show called CHEAP Rijun will be online on soundcloud and at You can also find some older shows there too. Check them out. Some are fun, some are dumb, some are goofy and some, as we Americans like to say, are interesting (which can go either way). No matter what, you won't regret it, I think.


Marcuse Siegelstein


The super hot and magnificently well endowed male concubine of the stars Scotty Bower died at age 95. The handsome sexually fluid former Marine and bona fide studkin helped art direct the sex life of many of the greatest stars of Hollywood’s golden era. Scotty was a good friend of Queer Cuntry singing star Glen Meadmore. Scotty will be very much missed as a Hollywood fixture and suprema
Boulevard royale.