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Monday, December 27, 2004

WEINENDE MANNER
Barbara Young the lovely first and only wife of Marilyn Manson, as far as I'm concerned, cooked a glorious holiday meal for me and Glen Meadmore at her Santa Barbara compound. Glen and Barbara are madly in love with each other, but don't realize it. Hopefully one day . . .

Of course i stuffed myself silly and Barbara's sweet friend from South Afrikan via Mozambique, the Lady Carole, made these delicious bourbon balls that i devoured in an instant. Its nice to leave LA ever so often during the tired Pagan adopted Christian holiday melee.

Bricktops on Friday was very raucaus. Everyone was in a get down 2night kinda mood, for our Pagan/Druid/Wiccan celebration. The buxom burlesque ingenue Penny Starr Junior performed a scintilating salute to Charles Dickens and that divine Princess of Hollywood Pleasant Gehman was the Sugar Rum Fairy. I've known Plez for a million years and she gets younger and younger. I love that she's such a good time Sally.
Famous punk rock photographer Jenny Lens dropped by and is another lady who loves life. She also is looking really good and healthy. Rev Dan of Stella's StrayPop on KXLU popped in with a dapper smile, and Diggie Diamond of Foreskin 500 who just moved to Los Angeles from New York. I also shared a kiss with Canadian art star Marcel Dzuma---boy is he one hot child. I could give him mylast paycheck. Too bad i don't have a paycheck.

Monday, December 13, 2004

GEGEN DIE WAND
Thursday i was the last minute replacement for Extreme Elvis at the UCLA Live John Waters Christmas Party. Hector was my assistant for the day and we arrived at Royce Hall around 2pm beating the traffic and getting the chance to hit all the T-rooms on campus. Lots of lovely boy beauties abounding. Ran into sweet David Pendleton of the UCLA film archives. I adore David, he performs in Mark Simon's The Boyfriend review and speaks a million languages just like my pals Marcu Siegel and Daniela Romana who are living at the moment in East Berlin. In the Sunday Times there was a big article about expats in Berlin and Marcu was an interview source.

My artist liaison at UCLA was a sweet lil girl named Ajna who had a labrador retriever that insisted on sniffing at my cooze. What is it with dogs and my cootchie. Well i guess i should be happy that someone wants to sniff at it. Can someone also explain to me the connection between white people and dogs or just pets in general. My mother use to say that people who cannot handle intimate relationships with other humans become obsessed with animals because an animal will just love you unconditionally where its a bit more complicated dealing with other humanoids. I can barely take care of myself, so i'm not a big fan of pets or children. Sorry.

The UCLA event was cute. I found out that this Extreme Elvis characters is kindof GG Allin like, throwing his feces about and doing enemas on stage, so thats probably why i got the gig. Soundcheck went well, but then at showtime my backing CD was having trouble playing. Good thing i was able to establish a good rapport with the audience, so i recovered somewhat nicely. And they make union wages at UCLA?

Producing John Waters Christmas special is Ian Brennan who is the fiance of Lysa Flores who is in Alice Bags band Stay at Home Bomb. I had a nice time chatting and hanging with Phranc, the famed Jewish Lesbian folksinger and cardboard cobbler who had a bunch of nifty products for sell including her handmade cardboard tighty whitey, bra, & panty christmas decorations plus some of her collectors item CD's and records. I can't wait till Phranc performs at Bricktops doing her Gertrude Stein salute Phranc-n-Stein. its going to be amazing. I also enjoyed the comedy stylings of the very sexy Marga Gomez. She's really adorable. Flirted with a lot of cute coeds and grabbed some bountiful packages. I was wearing my haute couture Alexander McQueen holiday dress and everyone wanted a picture with me. Got to rub shoulders with Water's alumni Adrian Grenier(Cecile B. Demented) Matthew Lilliard (Serial Mom) Brendan Sexton III(Pecker) Ricki Lake looking beautiful without any make-up with her hunky new beau Apollo a big dicked Rican. Thank god she got rid of that user husband Rob Sussman or whatever his name was, who never had a job. Ricki told me that i was soooo right about him. Always listen to Ms. Davis. Mink Stole was with Dennis Christopher and they both were shining like platinum. Mink will be performing as part of the Grillo Follies at my New Year's Eve Spectacular. Mr. Waters was hilarious of course. He was dressed really nicely in crush velvet and wickle picker shoes. That man can make a dead dog laugh.

The next night was Bricktops. Richard Halperin, Mr. Tin Pan Alley was performing a salute to Al Jolsen. Boy can Richard belt and croon. What a major talent. We started the show pretty late as it looked like very few people were going to show up. Then suddenly out of nowhere it was jam packed.

It was great seeing burlesque goddesses Penny Starr Jr and from NYC Dirty Martini plus the Hobo Jazz Man who took thank god, took that nose ring out. He's so handsome he doesn't need modern prim affectations. It was also a pleasure to welcome the most stylish couple who come to Bricktops Miss Mary Pagone and Sasha Fuentes. Their outfits always match and are pure genius. I also love Melissa Sexchester, Jean Spinosa, Swedish designer Morgan Olsen and Shauna Leone who never fail to excite the crowd with their socialite graces.

John Waters graced us with his presense for a moment before he had to whisk off to his next gig. Casey Afflect and that horndoggy Alexander Payne of the wine movie Sidelines or whatever its called were arguing loudly at the bar but the real rebel rousers were the rockstar contingent of Alex Kapranos, NIck McCarthey of Franz Ferdinand and Brandon Flowers the singer of the Killers. They arrived drunk, and left even drunker. Thats so Bricktops folks.

Today I want to go see the new Almodovar film and then run around with last minute errands because I'm off to the Balkans for Visions of Excess. Everyone is converging at the castle in Lubljana. I can't wait to hang out with the NSK avant garde.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

LITTLE JUDY KELLY
These ramblings from our favorit Canuck, Bruce "Judy" LaBruce:

oh yeah, i saw the Galiano thing in tetu. he totally ruined the tony ward hustler white look. added mucklucks and chains and his cowboy hat was too big and new looking – he made him look like
a faggot eskimo cowboy.

i’m sure you look glamorous, like jeremiah johnson. i dunno. i’m all confused about the muslim now. i vaseline between getting all emotional and torn up that he’s leaving and kind of thinking that it might be all for the best. he definitely has to go back and sort out his destiny and her child. ah well. you know me. i’m like you. a loner with a boner.
ha ya here comes the gay divorce. i saw him on tv getting married or something too! he’s always been soooo politically correct. get this. scott thompson is making a reality show for canadian tv about gay marriage. he finds gay and bulldagger couples who want to marry and sort of acts as the wedding planner. it’s really bizarre. he says all the couples are totally dysfunctional and their families usually hate them. figures. xxxxxxxx blab

kisses


Thursday, December 02, 2004

RASPBERRY TRETREICT
It has emerged that the brains of three leading members of the urban
guerrilla group, the Red Army Faction, including its leader, Andreas Baader,
have disappeared after being preserved for scientific research.
The ghoulish revelation comes just days after the daughters of Ulrike
Meinhof, another of the revolutionaries, finally won permission to have her
brain returned for burial.Her brain was also held after her suicide in jail in 1976.
The group, also known as the Baader-Meinhof Gang, began a campaign of
political killings and kidnappings of senior business leaders in the 1970s
aimed at overthrowing the state.Theft possible The leading news magazine, Der Spiegel, now reports that the organs of the three members were removed for scientific research in the 1970s, only to disappear.
The three, Andreas Baader, Gudrun Ensslin and Jan-Carl Raspe, killed
themselves in jail in 1977, after first a kidnapping, then a jet hijacking
failed to secure their release.

Richard Meyermann, head of the Neurological Research Institute of Tuebingen
University where the tests were done, is quoted as saying he could not
account for the disappearance of the organs. They might have been moved to make way for other objects and then finally burned, he said, but he could not rule out theft.
Meinhof damaged It emerged last week that tests on Ulrike Meinhof's brain soon after her death cast doubt on her fitness to stand trial.
The investigation showed indications of brain damage resulting from an
earlier operation. But the latest revelations indicate the authorities had a morbid fascination with the revolutionary killers and the motives for their violent campaign. It emerged recently that an unauthorised death mask of Andreas Baader had
been made by one of the medical team.The news comes amid concerns that a series of films about the violent 1970s have portrayed the killers as pop icons.



Wednesday, December 01, 2004

LADY BE GOOD
This little emug sent to me from the great Bruce "Judy" LaBruce of LaCanada in Toronto.

you sound like mary beth hurt in interiors. wait a minute. you are mary beth hurt in interiors. no i don’t know about the other designer who did a bruce labruce hustler white collection. who might that be? i can’t keep track of everyone who rips me off – er, i mean pays homage to me. i just got back from berlin and stockholm. in berlin i ate bad sushi and just barely got accomplished what i needed to. in stockholm i was on the jury for the international film festival. i saw about 18 features and 14 short films in a week. it was fun, more or less. some astoundingly bad films, but some really good ones too. we gave the top prize to a french film called l’innocence, directed by gaspar noe’s girlfriend, about a very strict, bizarre ballet school for little girls. it was macabre. we gave a special mention to another french film called l’esquive, about muslim teenagers in the suburbs of paris who put on a play. the kids are incredibly sexy. we gave the best short to a godard/passolini type anti-american manifesto from haiti called the gospel of the creole pig. i’m back in toronto now, and dealing with the sadness of the muslim moving back to africa again on december 9th. there is a piece about my relationship with him on nerve.com, and another one in the new blackbook. i have a retrospective in zagreb, croatia at the end of january, and i’m going to the mar del plate international film festival in argentina in march. then i will probably be coming to la to shoot gangbangers. i may come in january for some meetings. how are you doing, dolly lamb? x b
LE ROI DE COEUR
John Drew Barrymore aka John Barrymore Jr. died. He is the father of the actress Drew Barrymore, and i lived next door to him in the 80s at the famous Villa Rosa Apartment building on Sunset at OrangeGrove Avenue. He was a very bizarre man, who at one time had a group of deathrock junkies living with him who turned his apartment into a pigblanket. I have to admit that i do have fond memories of that particular building. i use to run the Hag Gallery out of that apartment. My opening parties were legendary. Everyone scored a hot thrombone at those infamous gatherings,everyone except the hostessa. What else is new?

Saturday, November 27, 2004

APICHATPONG WEERASETHANKUL
Had a lovely Vegan Thanksgiving feasta at Andrew of Gould and Lenny, the young elder's Los Feliz compound. Lastyear was spent out of town with a large group, which was nice, but this year i wanted something a bit quieter and low key. Handsome Mario Diaz of Hot Dog fame was one of the guests, and it was pleasant spending time with the hunky clubland kingpin. Its always a treat to see someone that you may have a preconceived notion about in a different setting and find out just what sort of animal they truelly are. Mario is as charming and thoughtful as he is pleasing to the eye.

Bricktops anniversary party was a sterling success. Where do all those cute boys come from? Latino Fan Club photog Dino Dinco brought along a delicious pack of juicies, and the fun loving bicycle riding collective the Whirley Girls certainly added to the festivities. It was nice seeing regulars Danielle and Xochi mixing it up with TV presenter Josh Kun, LA photography royal Ann Summa with journalista husband Jeff Spurrier. Visiting NYU academe Jose Munoz, Javier Peres of Peres Projects Gallery, Swedish designer Morgan Olsen,German soccer star Landon Donavan and the radiantly beautiful young french actor Gaspard Ulliel, who stars in the new Jean-Pierre Jeanet film "A Very Long Engagement". When i was last in Paris i had dinner at Jean-Pierre's gorgeous apartment in a private street not far from the Moulin Rouge. I got to pick up and kiss the Alien monster model.

Fishnet Floozy Anna Bells who is the grandaughter of movie musical star Mitzi Gaynor performed a saucy burlesque number. Englands The Boyfriend sang and showed off their bounty packages and UCLA art historian Robert Summers gave a sexy lecture on Leni Refenstahl, the theme of the anniversary party. Got to meet sweet Rebecca Epstein, the calender editor at City Beat Magazine, who wrote a very well written profile on Bricktops with a giant picture of Madame Bricktop. Wow!!!

o and our taxi dancers had everyone gagging on their lovely extravaganza. Summer Peaches along with Jason El Norte and new boy dancer Buttons Sinclair who has a killer smile and nice tight buttocks. I can't fail to mention Jorge Garcia Bernal who was our bathtub gin baby, divinely soaking in it.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

IRMA VEP
I ran into Mike Ness of Social Distortion. He looks great. He's aged in a handsome man kind of way. He said he'll be performing at the Wiltern Theatre soon. He's married now with a few kids, but still lives in Orange County . . .i think in Fullerton. Boy do i go back with him. I remember one New Year's Eve party at the 666 Ariana on Wilshire and Vermont, i had such the hots for that boy, he was one sizzling little pud of a punk beauty in his heydey. I'll never forget that particular New Year's Eve Party. Stella of Stray Pop was DJ-ing and my Afro Sister "Pop-That-Cherry" Jefferson was making out with Norwood of Fishbone on the dance floor. Literally he was humping her in the center of the dance floor. Cherry's daughter Mira Bai was only 14 at the time and was swapping saliva with one of my cute protege's Alfie Botello who was only 15 and going to that Jesuit High School Loyola. Early in the evening i had a brief flirtation with Mike which made me think that when the midnight hour commensed we'd be locking esophaguses, but who should wind up cock blocking me, other then that fugly Sean DeLear. The most gorgeous boy in the punk scene Mike Ness is all over that SeanD creature. Yuck! In Mike's defense he was probably so high on heroin that he most likely mistook her for me. When you're in drug deluse adaise, all us black queens look the same.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

MIDNIGHT LACE
Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibitions or LACE for short is hiring a new director. I had no idea they had a budget of $500,000. What do they spend it on? Their art shows are lame, and they don't do performances anymore. They should have never moved to Hollywood Blvd. The space downtown on Industrial Street was fantastic. Just my penny dreadful gripe i had to let out.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

WINDOW OF BEAUTY
Had a nice studio visit from Brian Grillo of Extra Fancy and Lock-Up Fame. Brian is going to design the sets and perform at Bricktops for our New Year's Eve Courtesan Masked Ball. He will be doing a version of his famed Grillo's Follies and will feature guests Abby Travis, and hopefully the John Waters legend Mink Stole. It should be a spectaculr event.

Both P.J. Harvey and Morrissey have contacted me and want to do surprise shows at Bricktops. Of course they could do whatever they want, but both are interested in singing 1920's songs. Ms. Harvey would like to do a Beatrice Lillie night and Mr. Morrissey a salute to Noel Coward which would be perfect for him now that he is of settled age.

I'm going to ask Donita Sparks of L7 to do some kind of performance as well. This week for our anniversary party Beck my sing a couple of songs in yiddish. O and the Green Day boys want to fullfill their promise to me and perform or do some kind of slapstick comedy routine. Miss Bricktops is forming a life of her own.

o and another cute emug from STH's Billy Miller in New York:

Dear Dearest,

hayro.
you're a goin' to Slovenia?
good luck with that and with your movie project.
am starting another 20s compilation which i will send ya when it's complete.
my life these days is much less glamorous but i have been trying to make a lot of art werk.went to a party the other nite for a soon-to-be-released doc. about the early 70s pop star Jobriath.the directors of which were nice but didn't seem to know thier stuff too much as they told me they found out about him a couple years ago and then claimed that 1.) David Bowie got everything from him (even though Jobie came out several years after Ziggy Stardust?) and that 2.) he was the first androgenous and openly "gay" rock star (what about Little Richard for one?)met Jayne County there and we spoke about glam rock etc.she said that she was impressed by my knowledge of music (i think she said that coz i basically just agreed with everything she said) and she gave me a CD and 45 of her music that she just 'happened' to have a few of in her bag.
i'm also starting work on a new STH now that my Jersey City homeboy Mike (the Polka King) has become a rich white lady since both his parents have passed recently and left him a house and a bunch of money (he's gonna pay for the printing.)
he used to be more adventurous but now is sort of afraid to leave Hudson County (which comprises the 3 towns around here.)
i find that difficult to deal with, but i love him still.
as i do you.

respectfully yours,

-bmx


DAS BLAUE LICHT
Stopped for a quick drink at the Spotlight and ran into some Silverlake 40 pals who bought me a gaggle of whiskey sours. Wonderful time had by all. Some bloated ruddy faced hustler tried to pick me up, nothing he said made any sense.

Sunday morning hangover. Had to get up early for my job as a radio presenter for NPR doing a walking tour of Hollywood Blvd. Cute Ben Adair and Queena Sok Kim joined me as i proceeded to run my mouth non-stop. Freezing cold. Lots of eye candy at the Farmers Market, especially the hot dads. Interviewed Michael Lucid, one of the Pretty Things.

Later ran into sexy big peniled Dave Gomez of Slowrider. Dave use to work at Epitaph Records and was Beck's bass player. Now he's working at Amoeba Records.

Monday morning i interview gorgeous Guin Turner, the lesbian icon for Zoo Magazine. She is the best interview subject EVAH! Invited to an amazing meal of mexican meatloaf by Hector and Ericla--delicious.

Hot gossip-Colin Farrell during the filming of Toll Both was plowing both Britney Spears and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Ms. Love-Hewitt wanted to retain her so called virginity so she would only allow Mr. Farrells ultra large Irish endowment to enter her sphincter. The filthy Love-Hewitt had a few too many mud slides which left the peter of the matinee idol a nice murky shade of brown. The next day when he was plugging Britney, our sex piggy Colin didn't even bother to bathe and proceeded to place his member inside her sugar walls, fudge and all.

Just remember you didn't hear it from me.

Friday, November 19, 2004

LIFE UPON THE WICKED STAGE
Had a precious luncheon date with art historian Robert Summers. He and his boyfriend/photog Matt Lipps, are just too delicious for words. I'm going to sexually art direct their lives, by first making Matt have wild sex with my Bricktops taxi dancer Summer Peaches. Matt is gorgeous with a stunning face, body and endowment and before Autumn's end I'm going to have him locked up in a four star hotel with Miss Peaches and his boyfriend will have to watch as they fornicate.

I also love one of Robert's students Jason from Jerusalem, an extremely bright, perceptive and sexually voracious young grad student from Israel. This Jason boy is proof that Jews are indeed, god's chosen people.

***

Was taken to brunchina by hunky Cesar Vega. We left around 12:30 to eat downtown, and somehow bru lasted several hours. We wound up in the main bar at the Biltmore Hotel where he was downing martini's and i was chugging blended whiskey sours. Cesar is going to go on a monthlong motorcycle diary jaunt retracing Ernesto "Che" Guevara's steps in South America. Now thats exciting!

Whenever I'm with Cesar i wind up telling him stories of my million year old life. Somehow first jobs came up and relayed to him how at age 8 my first dabble with employment was working around the corner from my apartment on Pico and Hobart for this 50 something black man name JB who had me seperating nails and screws in his workroom/garage. This little task took me all day and all i managed to earn was 50 cents. I guess thats not bad money for a child in the 1970s. JB was a dirty old geezer who had a 15 year old big peniled Puerto Rican concubine living with him named Roger Sanchez. Roger's 14 year old girlfriend from Costa Rica had the perfect screen star name of Zeidy Ballar. Zeidy and her younger sister attended the all girls parochial school Bishop Canady. Girls at that school were called Pico Pick-ups. I still remember how shocked i was when my mother who knew all the gossip in the neighborhood told me in a matter-of-fact manner, that not only was JB sleeping with Roger, but Zeidy, Anabelle, and Roger's father. I did witness JB propositioning my older sister Teresa Ray, who was 18 at the time and not exactly a knockout, with her crooked teeth and popping out thyroid eye condition. Funny, he was never inappropriate with me. Now that I think about it, I'm kindof offended.

Friday at Bricktops it was our Jerome Kern, Till The Clouds Roll Bye celebration. Kristian Hoffman the no wave legend who was in the great bands, The Mumps, The Swinging Madisons and a million others performed a delicious set of Jerome Kern songs, "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes and one I'd never heard of that was liltingly beautiful. We then dueted on "I Won't Dance" Kristian's accompanyist Linda Good lives in the Little Ethiopia section of LA Between Pico and Olympic off of Fairyfax. Linda is a very talented and sweet girl that works with Stew and the band, The Negro Problem.

Seen drinking and living it up in a grand manner, the juicy Gwen Kahn of the Pandora's fame. Gwen is also the granddaughter of songwriting legend Gus Kahn. Designer Michael Schmidt was his usual dapper self along with Dame Darcy, the illustrious Tommy Gear of the Screamers, film editor Billy Rich, Iranian tranny temptress Parisol whose been hooking in NYC, a low key Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. Who's minding that damn baby Apple?
My new cute protege and Otis graphic arts student James Medina, UCLA post docker Jason of Jerusalem, and Sloan Ranger British socialite Edward Van Cetsom who was macking on me one minute and Google founder Sergey Brin, the next.
BUTCH WITHOUT SUNDANCE
The butch in the equation is Pat Kingsley, the uber careerist dyke honcho of PMK/HBH PR firm. Sundance is my gal pal Leslee Dart, who got the ax after 23 years of diligent service to the spinmeistering of the stars like ditzy Nicole Kidman, Woody Allen, Wes Anderson and that queeny horror Scott Rudin. For some reason i can get along with power bitches. We don't require the same kind of attention so there's no cancelling each other out. I never click with gay men, only straight women, diesels and fruit flies(straight men) I always wind up in intense romantic friendships with sexist pigs---the kind of men you wouldn't even expect I'd be acquainted with. Well Ms. Davis has always been a misnomer.

Filmed a little short yesterday with Margaret Cho and Jackie Beat. Not the kind of thing I usually do, but i haven't worked with Goddess Cho since our tour and it was great to see her again. Her house in the Montrose Hills is gorgeous from 1928. She and her husband Rev. Al of the Cacophoney Society have the place filled with all sorts of macabre art objects. My fav is the giant aborted fetus complete with unbiblical cord.

NOTE TO SELF: I can't give my time to any more film projects that aren't my own. Its just too taxing, so all you auteurs PLEASE don't ask me to be in your movie. I'm not exactly a gainfully employed superstar, so i can only afford to take on lucrative paid gigs and assignments.

In the words of the immortal Nastassia Kinski, "I'm not feeling very well".

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

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Monday, November 15, 2004

NANCY GOES TO FRIO
This just in from The Lady Bunny of Wigstock fame:

What is up with these CNN newscasters? Besides the obvious (they don't
report the news and even apologized like the New York Times for not
questioning the war in Iraq more) they are really having an image crisis.
Increasingly good-looking with capped teeth, newscasters smile too much and
every guest, even if they are a CNN staff member is thanked heartily after
their interview. Isn't that a fairly new development? Are they trying to
hide the ugly truth with an everything-is-great attitude? Carlos Watson has
the most dazzling smile of all. His new show which kicked off right before
the election? It's called OFF-TOPIC, and he interviews Heidi Klum and Shaq.
What a great time to go "off-topic" and divert attention from the tragedy of
the election unfolding. For chrissakes, even Aaron Brown has gotten the new
blue-white chompers put in. They look ok on Tweety-Bird impersonator Paula
Zahn, but show-bizzy teeth caps in Aaron's friendly potato face look
bizarre. And I'm certainly no prude, but aren't false eyelashes (Kimberly
Guilfoyle Newsome) and lip gloss (Kelly Wallace) a bit much for NEWSCASTERS?
Come on, I'm a drag queen so I know good and well that trends in cosmetics
may come and go but lip gloss clearly signifies "place dick here" or "my
lips, like my pussy, is moist". (On the other hand, for some inexplicable
reason CNN broke with their own beauty trend when they sent poor moose-like
Candy Crowley on the campaign trail with no make-up artist! And if anyone
could use a little help, it's Candy.)

Their newest golden boy is Rick Sanchez. I've always marvelled at former
golden boy Bill Hemmer, whose inane chatter strikes me as preposterous. Eg:
After the lovely Soledad O'Brien covered a story about Egyptian artifacts,
Bill cheerily chimed in with "Good history, Soledad." Why makes it good or
bad--it's history, you dunce! But Bill's dizzy homecoming king personality
is infinitely preferable to Rick Sanchez's sugar-coated conservative bias
which is driven home with the most emphatic, showboatin' hand and arm
movements I've ever seen on anyone reporting outside of a sports segment.
Rick must resonate with their (increasingly conservative?) audience since
his career is on the rise, filling in for Paula and making more and more
frequent appearances. He often interrupts guests, and he's chock full of
those bullshit "in as much as" and "in point of fact" corny, archaic
interjections which lead you to believe that he is very much in love with
the sound of his own voice. He's so desperate attempt to act "newscaster-y",
I wonder if he can even listen to the guests he engages in debates with?
(His last name indicates Spanish roots. Is he so desperate to honkify
himself that he is overdoing it?) Plenty of slang, too, to make it all
conversational and accessible--to morons!

And impartiality, formerly a hallmark of newscasting? Forget it! Two young
guys, just back from Iraq, were being interviewed by Rick, and were
describing the rampant anti-American sentiment there. Sanchez buts in with
"Well, we don't really like hearing that when we are over there trying to
free 'em." We're not trying to "free 'em", hon, we're trying to occupy them
so we can steal their oil--that's my opinion, anyway. But should HIS opinion
really be broadcast AS NEWS? So you "don't like hearing that". You booked
these guests as authorities on Iraq, and now you don't like hearing the
truth? When discussing Palestine with a guest, the Clinton Barak peace plan
was brought up and Rick interrupted with "I must say it's a pretty good
plan." To whom? To Palestinians? To Israelis? Or to Americans like you who
don't want to hear the truth and don't live there?

Look, I know that news shows are still show-biz and need ratings, etc., but
these trends, on CNN alone--I don't watch much else--are disturbing. Are we
so shallow that we can't even stand to watch a newscaster who isn't
prettified? And we'll put up with rotten reporting as long as the reporters
look good? Give me unglamorous, impartial Walter Cronkite anyday!




COLUMBIA PICTURES AND RASTOR PRESENTS
Hollywood/Broadway royalty came by Bricktops on Friday in the lovely visage of Ms. Wendy Stark Morrissey. Wendy is the west coast editor of Vanity Fair, and she and her sweet gay sidekick came by and we whooped it up drinking and screaming and carrying on. She is a hoot! Her father is the famous producer Ray Stark who produced Babs Streisand in Funny Girl and The Way We Were and countless other Hollywood films. Her grandma is none other then broadway legendina Fanny Brice. We're supposed to do a power lunch and i'll have to beg her to tell me stories of Ms. Brice and the heydey of the great white way. Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodovar also stopped by with a huge entourage but they mostly stayed in the back boydello smoking lounge. Met a sweet Otis Parsons design student named James Medina. What a booty pie.
Our theme Friday was a salute to Lupe Velez, the Mexican Spitfire. Delores De Muela, the Velvet Hammer's youngest ingenue performed a lovely little number with a pinata. Delores and her boyfriend make such a hot couple. A bunch of steamy, sexy latinos in the audience made for a hot night of salsa and south of the border flavour.

***
Had to leave town AGAIN, to get free editing time for my new experimental film, will be back Thursday in time for Fridays Bricktop with Kristian Hoffman performing. We might do a duet of some sort which I'm sure will be delightful.
My handsome young intern Gleeson sent me an email from a student at Deep Springs College, that wonderful school that hardly anyone knows about. Deep Springs prepares young men of stature and worth for a life of service in the greater Babylonian gorgon. There should be more colleges like Deep Springs. I'm looking forward to exchanging snail mail packets with those magnificent boys.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

FIRST MINX
Our second annual Django Reinhardt celebratata came together quite nicely. The parisian musical duo, Cabinet of Curiosities put on a splendid and sophisticated show. Early in the evening there was this big event at the bar with all these unattractive westsiders. You know the Venice/S' Aunt Monica contingentcy. Luckily the 20s music scared most of them away. Someone did request hip-hop, but seemed satisfied when i put on a Joplin rag. It was hard to completely catagorize that early event crowd,so i shouldn't be so mean. So many people who work on the periphery of the entertainment industry complex are so bland and featureless. I certainly don't mind some cute straight boys hanging around for my party,as an all gay audience isn't very interesting or cutting edge anymore.

Being that i am an unrepentant snob, my only requirement is that people be visually stunning----extra gorgeous or extra ugly, doesn't matter just don't be common. And it helps to have an opinion about something . . . ANYTHING.

Photographer Dino Dinco and a cute French pal of his came by to visit. Abby Travis also brought one of her rock star lady friends whose name escapes me at the moment. Regulars Jean Spinosa, Shirtless John Quayle, designer Shauna Leone, Melissa Sexchester, and Don & Augusta were their usual vivacious selves. Mr. Uncertain even stopped by. He's back from his Camel Cigerette tour. I guess he got laid off early.

Later in the evening after 1am Alexis Arquette of the famous Arquette movie star dynasty, and Jackie Beat popped in.

O and Taxi Dancer Summer Peaches brought along a special visiting burlesque queen from Japan named Erotika Bamboo who enchanted everyone with her scintilating personality, and Realm of Senses moves.

Bricktops continues to be the place where love connections are made on a regular basis. Of course everyone has been finding bunkmates but the hostessa, though i have had some sweet little flirtations, including fellatio performed in the DJ booth, so i can't say i've been completely left high and dry.

***

My little Papa Frank Rodriguez took me to dinner at the Thai eatery on Hollywood Blvd called "Hi" that is right next to The Stone(formerly Mugi's) the only 24/17 rice bar in town, where elderly white gentlemen can go and find young Asian boys who are willing to become their subserviant broken blossom concubine.

Frank's hot and sexy boyfriend "P" was of course turning all heads on the street before we entered the restaurant. It felt good being with Frank and "P" as they represent such unabashed and sizzling masculinity. Frank gets more handsome as he ages, and "P" is one of those Irish gingers with perfect porceline skin and a rugged vulnerability that makes you want to get down on your knees and service his every whim. Hanging with them was a blast!!!

Monday, November 01, 2004

THE FELLOWSHIP OF TWINE
Had a little romantic misadventure with a 19 year old student from Whittier, California. What is it about Whittier eh? The boy was a beauty. Lovely peaches and cream complexion and ruby red lips. He looked just like Dino Dinco, the photographer of latin fanclub realness. At first i thought it was Dino because he was affecting a homeboy look. This kid had the sweetest mouth and breath. His kisses were so fresh and languid. And although he was a radiant youth, he wasn't all vanilla extract either. He wanted me to rough him up a bit, which i eagerly complied. I bitch clapped him silly and bit and gnawed all over his body leaving brutal welts and pittance marks. He loved it. I even slugged and kicked him just for good measurely measure. Fun fun fun.

Bricktops Halloween Mae West Sextette Braganza was really energetic. What a great crowd. A cute movie industry titan had his birthday party at the club, so they placed was filled to the rafter early in the evening. There are a lot more straight boys coming to Bricktops, and all the girls are benefiting from all the male action. The first Bricktops baby will be born next year, as a couple met at Bricky's and the girl is preggers.

Penny Starr Junior the ample busomed burlesque beauty put on a little devilish Pas-de-deux and bat dance with the help of the sexy and stacked Darcy Leonard, the hostess of Club Screwball and the imcomparable talents of Amy O'Neill and Nicole Burleson in what they deliciously called DER TANZ DER FLEIDERMAUS. All the men in the audience were aghast at the display of cleave and breastage.

Also St. Salicia Tate the itinerant preacher lady of the gospel and her junior Mormen Elders took to the stage to present "Fornication, No, Theocracy Yes" plus Kim Novak's naughty and gorgeous daugher Nikki Novak of the Fishnet Floozys added more busom to the boost.

Lots of celebs including Bibbe Hansen, Beck's mom, who is sadly leaving LA for New York, along with her husband Sean Carrillo. The Germ's Don Bolles, Augusta, Don Spiro, photographer Matt Lipps, art historian Robert Summers, Pleasant Gehman the princess of Hollywood with Dirty James, the vivacious beauty Jane Cantillon with her twins, movement artist Jean Spinosa, and this hunky unbelievably perfect boy TV actor named Jesse Metcalfe that someone said is in some show on the ABC Network about Desperate Housewifes or some such nonsense. Since i don't have a TV, i wasn't familiar with him, but i was bowled over by his visage.

This just in from my Australian journalist friend now living in Man-Hattan:

you know...I was in a meeting here at the Voice the other day with the Listings Department and I had to explain to them all what a sex-on-premesis venue was. They really didn't understand.

One of the gay boys who works with the team was horrified but then, standard Chelsea Boys are always loathe to admit anything that makes them appear less than squeaky normal.

So, now, I'm reviewing the saunas and bath houses in NYC for the Voice. I mean, I probably won't go to each but I will make sure they're all in the Listings section. They've put in a new box to tick "Click here to find sex on premesis venues in New York City".

And this from my Zoo Magazine editor Rebecca Voight:

Vag,

I know what you mean about glasses. I wonder how far this will go. I can hardly appreciate nouvelle cuisine plate décor anymore!

We had a huge---HUGE profile of Wolfgang in the last Zoo in German. He is good.

I have a DVD player, but I don’t have any time, or I can’t stay awake. That must change.

Gweneviere Turner sounds divine. I really wanted to be a Sarah Lawrence girl, but they didn’t give me a scholarship so I ended up being a Mills girl thanks to a grant from the good old state of California---that was before the Republicans....I like the idea of a Betty Page portrayal. That sounds like a good one to me Vag. I don’t know if that’s exactly what Sandor is thinking about, but it suits me.

At Dutch we have done our way: Emmanuelle Seigner---and right after that she started getting big contracts from YSL and Marc Jacobs. We also did a cover with Vincent Gallo---but that’s understandable---he doesn’t have a publicist and he art directed the shoot himself anyway. It’s not that we want a look up their skirt, it’s just we want to choose the photographer and the stylist...

Viggo Mortensen---ou....That would be great. He has a publishing imprint I read somewhere. You know my personal knowledge of Exene stops at what’s his name---John Doe---her old, old boyfriend and X Co-star. Younger boyfriends always prevail. That’s so true.

Rick Owens made a big fashion statement at the last collections. He marched out with all of his models in a sort of modernist baton twirler formation lineup wearing very, very high stack heel boots and baggy shorts. I’m not sure Anna Wintour was amused. In fact, the room went dead silent. I wonder why?

Sundance. I know what you mean---the festival is where films find distributors. I’m not sure we really care although we’re interested in great films. I always think you can figure out what will get distribution when you see the film, but I’m probably naïve, right? All is Know is we’re late. Is it better to be really early or really late?


R



Tuesday, October 26, 2004

AIMEZ-VOUS BRAHMS?
I must be one of the few people in the world who still keeps written correspondence with friends around the world the old fashioned way of snail mail and sending little artsy fartsy gift packets. Email is soooo damn impersonultra nate. i use it, but since I'm dega olde fashioned putting pen to paper is my favorite moda de BT Express.
Someone i love exchanging long letters, photos and ephemeral with is Dominic Johnson. Dominic is a mesmerizing young British scholar, teacher and writer. His pieces in the the English arts Magazine Frieze are way above brilliantine. His latest is on the Jack Smith Exhibit at the Lawrence O'Hana Gallery in London. Dominic is also curating a series of lectures at the Cartould(Spelling?) Institute, where i will give a presentation soon. Oh and he did a fantastic interview with Raimund Hoghe for Chroma. Dom is gorgeous with that lovely English peaches and cream complexion, earnest soul ripping eyes, and full drippy lips of vermillion. I can't wait to see him in Lubljana in December for Visions of Excess-Balkans.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

ALLES WIRD GUT
O Bricktops you give me such great plea-sure! My Harold Lloyd Cantata was ever so frisky. It seemed like everyone in the club was horny. I got my titties sucked by a hot handsome boy and a beautiful sexy girl at the same time. They were nursing on my breastage, and all while i was DJ-ing. Talk about amberdexterous.
The Ditty Bops ended their October Fest residency with a smashing show that will definately prepare them for their big tour with the Dresden Dolls. The Bops get better and better and the girls voices just glow with resiliency and texture. They are soooo young to have voices that dig so deep inside ones soul. Their hot piano man Greg Masculine was looking especially dapper and sophisticated in his all black-on-black gangster suit.

The internationally known art photographer Wolfgang Tilmans stopped by to see little old me. He has a new show up at the Regens Project Gallery and it opened on Friday, and after his show he had to pay Bricktop a wee visit. I was very much charmed by his deliciousness and those bullet nips i was playing with and teasing. I also got to feel that very firm penile package. When word got out that a big time celeb was in the house all the little boy art whores started cock blocking me, and since i had to DJ i couldn't give Wolfgang all of my attentions, though i certainly wanted to. He is dreamy dreamy dreamy.

Was great to see Miss Jean Spinosa back from the bay area, along with Summer Peaches our taxi dancer, art historian Robert Summers and his photog bick dicked beau Matty Lipps. Don Spiro was looking very chipper and also luscious Nikki Novak of the Fishnet Floozys. Nikki will be performing next week for our Mae West Halloween spectacu along with a special pantomime from Augusta! and Darcy Leonard.

Freddy Berkowitz of Video Ten Productions gave me some copies of his latest DVD release "A Rim with A View" directed by Hans Solo to give out as prizes. I also gave out some Sphicterine which makes your bung whole taste minty fresh. People were loving it. Being the drunkard that i am, i got a little carried away and wound up munching on the garden salad of two young boys right on stage. well a girl sometimes has to get her gnut by any means necessary.

Thursday, October 21, 2004

VIVA LA PERSISTENCE
Kimya Dawson of Mouldy Peaches fame sent me her new solo CD "Hidden Vagenda" Its an amazing folk record! Talk about timely, yes timely with a capital GMP. Kimya is the anti-Tracey Champman and the new Joan Armatrading. Yeah.
Last night i went to Mata Hari, Abby Travis' club at Tangiers on Hillhurst in Los Feliz Village. What a wonderful evening i had. Mink Stole and her band performed, and they were sensational. Mink sang a bunch of Brian Grillo's old Grillo Follies tunes and brought to them such a sense of urgency. That Mink is one sexy minx. Abby and Kristian Hoffman both outdid themselves. I really loved when Abby was improvising, she is so quick on her feet and enchanting. Later she picked up that bass guitar and was just flicking out magic, magick and more majeeect! I was glad i stopped raining, or i wouldn't have been able to go out as my foot is all swollen and i can barely walk. Temptress Selene Luna also performed and brought the house down in her usual luscious manner. I ordered dinner and it wasn't that great, but i had fun hanging out with Don & Augusta, Michael Schmidt and his date John, Brian Grillo, Bemily and the divine Patty Powers. I never go out midweek, but i needed a treat after spending so many hours watching films for Sundance. What a time consuming job. Now its going to be hard to see movies for pleasure.
Been getting a lot of media contacting me about my relationship with philosopher Jacques Derrida who recently passed. I hadn't talked to him in years, i would receive the occasional letter and he'd send me the packets with unusual porn. The last time we hung out was at this party at the apartment of the director of the French film Amelie. How long has that been now? Oh my 2001.

Here is a little enote from Mr. STH:

dearest Homies,

as a teenager i happened to see my father at my uncle's house (we only spoke a few times after i stopped living with him when i was about 10-11 till he died when i was about 40.) and at a loss of something to say i started talking about music...when i said The Duke was my all time fave, his eyes lit up and he said "O.K. then you know where the A Train goes, right?"
i didn't.
he then said "Why, up to Sugar Hill, of course."
last nite i was reminded of that when the seldom used lyric to that tune was playing in my head and we got off the train at Sugar Hill to see The Classical Theater of Harlem's production of Melvin Van Peebles' "Ain't Supposed To Die A Natural Death" last nite.
the play was very well done, but not quite up to the original production which i know from first hand accounts, film clips and recordings.

this production included Ralph Carter, who the Playbill notes said was active in the theater since the age of 9.
before recieving acclaim on the TV show "Good Times" he had already done much proffessional work including roles in two Galt MacDermott scored productions -"Dude" and "Via Galactica" (the former of which Boyd McDonald worked on as a stage manager -believe it or not.)

a highlight was when the street trannie character called "Funky Girl on Motherless Broadway" taunted a bunch of guys in the front row who looked and acted like firemen or policemen.
when she directed her attention to one in particular and came right up in his face and said "You know Honey, sometimes I just feel so SU-PER-FU-LO-US!" and diva snapped him...he turned red in the face and his buddies went wild.

there was also the most cute little 8-10 year old nerdy boy and his mother sitting next to us...at one point as the play was starting we heard him say to his mother "I'm just so excited I could kick myself in the head!"
we laughed when he said that, at which point his mother turned to us and said "They told me this play had adult content but i decided to bring him anyway...Trochet is my little theatre buff."
Jeff a little later whispered in my ear "She means 'budding faggot'."

all interested parties, will recieve a "Best Of" Mr. Peebles CD when i get around to it.

yours,

-bmx

And a nice permissive missive from John Aes-Nihil of the Aesthetic Nihilsm Archive:

Mistress Vaginal: Due to being stuck in Desert I havent been able to get to many shows however I do have an idea for one. A Tonto or whoever night with Native American music by you , Glen and Leslie of Penis Flytrap. The Vampire Bizare was a giant wet MESS due to extrem rain. Stanton even brought his wife of the week and had to Divorce her by evenings end since she had the Nerve to attempt to Pick Up on Lucifer Fulchi! Jason is editing the William Burroughs movie-still and then Suddenly Last Summer and then Descent Into Glamour. Boom is next to be shot but who knows when. Im attemptying to move back to LA. Have been looking into abandoned Theatres with Leslie however that Brazilian Exorcism Church has most of them. Found a true Gothic Mansion near downtown that is being negoatiated right now. George Petros is doing a book on extream art of the 80s and Im doing a section on Limbo Lounge and You Yourself, Glen, Bunny, Daniel. Whats going on with a TV show I heard you might do? David Woodard went ahaed and actaully did it- he is presently in Elizabeth Neitzsches colony in Paraguay. Of course that brought up an idea- do an Elizabeth Neitzsche night and show Davids video. He might go to Jonestown however hes going to have to call me again since I found a pilot in Guyana who used to fly Brother Jones in and out of there. John

And the latest from Bruce "Judy" La Bruce

oh miss davis: i miss your joanne whorley wisdom. my life is kind of sucky right now. Naushad has walking pneumonia so i haven’t been able to see him since he got back from africa a week ago, and now he’s planning on moving back to africa again, this time possibly for good. so it’s sad, but a man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do. i guess. sometimes life just seems like a series of disappointments. progress is slow in the career department. doors open and then close again; opportunity knocks and then unknocks. i take my mind of it all by going to the gym every day, plus i’m working on a new script (even though i have three on deck already). what’s it all about, bad alfie remake? (how dare they – i’m quickly getting over judas law). but i don’t want to be debbie downer. i have no room to complain when children are dying of mrs. AIDS in africa and marc almond almost died in a motorcycle accident in london. i see los angeles for me in the near future, however, so at least the pleasure of your company is on the whoreizon... x blab

Saturday, October 16, 2004

THE JOYLESS GOOD LUCK STREET
Greta Garbo night was a gavling successtra. Lots of ladies looking very Garboesque. The boys of the punk band Green Day were in town and wanted to do a couple of tin pan alley songs, and told me they had some great outfits. So of course i kept it a big secret that they were going to be my special guests. Word must have gotten out because there were tons of people. The boys did come by but were way too tired to peform and came after 1am. They will be in LA for a while so the surprise show may take place in the not so distant future. I hope so.
Everyone was getting so drunk and horndoggy Friday. Lots of love connections were made. My sizzling taxi dancers Summer Peaches of Augusta, Georgia and Jason El Norte of Mexico City were raising the crowds libidos. I performed a little burlesque number to the strains of CC Rider, with my spicy beef curtains flapping in the breezus.

Lots of big wigs abounding. Sweet and demure "Tarnation" director Jonathan Caouette with power publicist and sometime actor and bon vivant, the great and glorious Mickey Cottrell(My Own Private Idaho) gentle producer Steven Winters, award winning film editor and juicy juicer Brian Katz(I'd sure like to munch on that bung hole) along with Programming godesses Outfest's luscious Kirsten Schaffer, Sundances tantalizing Shari Frilot, Outfest Executive Director Stephen "Twee" Guitwillig, AIDS czar Ferd Eggen, Samuel French's Marc Simon, with his boyfriend co-hort and UCLA film preservationist David Pendleton, Mean Mommy of the Cheap Beer Club, Steak of Steakhause Productions, The Cabinet of Curiosity, art historian Robert Summers, legendary Afro Sisters Urethra Franklin and Clitoris Turner, Ventura's Dora of Wilde Planet and a host of other luminaries to numerous to mention. Wowza

Friday, October 15, 2004

CABEZA DE VACA
I'm going to be swamped with work in the next few weeks. Besides preparing for Visions of Excess in the Balkans, I'm going to be working as a radio presenter for NPR and viewing movies submitted to the Sundance Film Festival.

For your pleasure i reproduce a loving email sent from one of my best girlfriends the Canadian auteur Bruce "Judy" LaBruce.

***

oh vaginal. i don’t know. i just saw Dig. it’s so depressing that mediocrity always rises to the top. i really hate well adjusted, successful people, especially when they play rock n roll. i don’t mean to be negative, but there you have it. i mean i like courtney courtney taylor taylor, but still. what’s that woody allen line about not being able to have a good time if you know that there’s even one person starving on the other side of the world? that’s how i feel all the time. anyway, the reason i’m writing is because i forgot to tell you that i had candy and naushad who just got back from africa over last night to watch the night gallery entire first season on dvd that i’d rented and there was this one episode with raymond massey and.... barry brown. it’s the first time i’ve seen barry without a beard since flesh. he looked really skinny and cool. raymond massey played a big game hunter who is really peeved that he has this milquetoast, milksop son who wears a peace button and doesn’t want to kill anything. he calls him every code word for homosexual in the book, and barry brown just looks at him with those big brown eyes. then he makes barry go deer hunting with him and forces him to shoot a deer, but he can’t do it, so old raymond tries to grab the rifle he’s holding and barry just ends up shooting the deer through the lungs and it suffers and bleeds and they have to chase it for four hours to kill it. so when they get back to the estate, barry is devestated but the extremely hot black african servant who’s into black magic who came back to america with old raymond massey the great white hunter to protect cute barry from him puts a hot voodoo curse on vieux raymond (who of course played james dean’s father in east of eden, and who is of course canadian) and the next thing you know mr. massey’s head ends up on the trophy wall along with the gazelles and lions and tigresses and his other trophy heads. it’s actually very chilling. my favourite episode so far, though, is the one with joanna pettet of the group fame who plays a dreamy young woman caught forever in a slow-motion, fashion-wind recurring dream. she’s so shot. xxx blab

Oh and another letter from my sweet pal Billy Miller of Straight to Hell/Manhattan Review of Unnatural Acts

Vanigina,

yo.
i hear ya about killin' the rich.whenever i meet rich people...oh well...quess you know what i'm sayin', just a waste of space here to go on about that.the main problem as i see it is that as soon as you me or anybody else gets some of that money, you feel different about things.and over time we would just end up being some version of them...don't ya think?ever notice how when you put some old lady behind the wheel of a car that where she was meek and timid before, all of a sudden she's cutting people off and acting all aggressive and whatnot?it's like they say: "Power corrupts, and Absolute Power corrupts Absolutely."in my case if i had lots of money, i honestly don't know how i'd define myself, as i wouldn't know where to stand on lots of things.guess i'd try to be generous and most of all use it to realise certain ideas, but knowing me, i'd prolly get at least a little grand along the way.i've tried in my own podunk way to be cheap version of fancy that in the end is just me trying to imitate rich people in some way, truth be told.
don't want to go back to the -bare light bulb, bathroom in a closet - apartments that i grew up in that's for sure. talking about riding the bus... when i lived in Detroit (and lots of people have written about the similarities between Detroit's car culture and the S. CA. thing) i took buses every day for year after year and am sure that my ideas about the world and society were formed watching and listening to people on the bus.here i take the train or walk or hitch rides from my Jersey City homies...it's similar, but not exactly the same thing as staring out of the bus -which never had as many people on it as here, for one thing, and everyone was from the lower class too -unlike here on public transportation where it's this mix of everything and lots of tourists (which we never saw in Motown.)
that movie "8 Mile" gives you a pretty realistic impression of some of that...although Eminem still came from the white side of 8 Mile (which is the main city/suburban dividing street) and when i was a kid i would have thought that a trailer park (where he grew up) was maybe, if not fancy, then at least cooler and less -something- than the places where we lived.you maybe have had some similar experiences as i have of meeting middle and upper class people for the first time in your teens and early twenties and being excited about the kinds of things that they were into, but then way later feeling like theywere...something else...and yet not fitting into the kinds of scenes that your friends from back in the day in the hood were into either, and developing a life long ambiquity about those kinds of things.but at some point we figured out how to deal with it on some level and....
being "white trash" is odd coz when you put on the uniform you just become that in everyone else's eyes (unlike being a supposed "person of color", where they tend to still not want to let you into the club even after you've tried to do it their way)....only i don't know how to work that exactly...so i end up being a middle class white fag who hates gays and so-called straights equally and tries to act like somebody that's rich, only hates rich people and then bitches about it to the point that it is totally meaningless and i don't know what i am.

i do think that people of color should have started killing rich white people when they had the chance -by that i mean the late 60s early 70s when they had a sizeable movement and united public sentiment behind them.not that i think that if the leaders of said movement finally took power that they would end up being that much different in the long run than those that they might dipose, but at least it would have brought a new cast in and some much needed..."color".all of this is not to say that i don't know that things need to be changed and that there aren't better ways of doing things and that solutions to many of these kinds of problems are possible...it's just that it's necessary to safeguard against just adding to the mess and realizing that.....o.k...now i'd better stop, coz i feel a rant a comin' on here.but here's a final thought, how weird was it that the leaders of the Black Panther Party were so sexy and had so much style?part Left Bank existentialist, part Afro biker, part Beatnik hipster and all Kool.i mean Huey Newtown and Angela Davis could have been movie stars or pop idols with those looks.accident or unconcious divine plan.imagine if Huey had looked like Al Roker (the news guy)...would it have turned out the same way...?

look for some more CDs soon,

yorn,

-billlleee






Tuesday, October 12, 2004

PARTISAN PLACEBO
I'm sleeping with the enemy. I feel so Maria Schriver. Yes i've been getting down and dirty with a very conservative, well known Republican from Orange County. He can't seem to get enough of my nappy dugout, and lives for my garden cole slaw salad. I'm sorry but Republicans just do it better then tired democrats. I know I'm a traitor to the cause, but i can't help it. A girl has got to get her gnut. I'm not the only one. Another one of my radical left New York girlfriends is getting plowed left and right by a hard bodied elephantal. Maybe we're leading a new trend.

WHARY J. BLIGE
Wonderful hunky Cesar Vega, brought me a cute fridge for my studio. Now i can have cold drinks while i'm working on projects. And boy do i have a milion of them. I've reconnected with my former Dutch editor Rebecca Voight who is now the English language editrix of Zoo, and I'm happy to report that I'll be doing a bunch of articles for them and some other publications based on the continent. U.S. magazines don't understand me.
Also got word that I'll be going to Glasgow, Scotland the home of Ewan McGregor, Bis and Belle & Sebastiane to perform for the New Moves Festival.
The University of Washington in Seattle also contacted me and want me for their winter semester in January. I haven't been to the Pacific Northwest since the Notorious C.H.O. tour in 2001 so i'm really looking forward to chugging on some hot rainy wanks.

Monday, October 11, 2004

I'LL TAKE MANHATTAN
Love hearing from my Aussie journalista friend living in Nuyorka. His emugs always bring me cheer.

***

New York film interns are an awkward arrogant, fear laced, ego force to be reckoned with. I mean, you should see how they lurch around the office and do that gasping laugh geeks do about how clever they're being with their 40 word synopsis pieces about some Brittany Murphy film. In the 16 months I've been ehre they've never once said hello. I gave up trying after 6 months.

Out wouldn't publish my Dude manifesto article - even though it's built that have 6 photos of hot surfers all over it. They wanted less analysis, more humour and it had to be attached to a book or a film.

I did a photo shoot with Amanda Lepore last night where I directed the whole thing because I just wrote a personality profile on her. We got her naked except for stilettos walking down the hall of her hotel and posing naked on some run down old industrial stairs in the Village. She has no reaction to anything. I told her that and she didn't react.

So - me, the photographer and the stylist are going to hopefully work together on these celeb profiles of interesting underground people where I write about their personalities and living space, the photographer shoots them in their apartment and the stylist gets any kind of high fashion couture we want and then throws the celeb into the clothes and orchestrates a setting.

Then we're going to sell it to Milan and the UK and Australia. American wouldn't touch it because even though it still is sustainably commercial it's too conceptual. It's Ruby Wax/Barbara Walters meets high end fashion and edgy severe imagery but with no anchor in film. Autralia have already bought the articles in advance anyway - they said I can do 2 out of every 3 months. I did Musto, Lepore, I want to do Harvey Fierstein, I want to do Randy Harrison and I want to do YOU honey.

But I've got to get to LA to do it. I was thinking of you for Blue magazine but I really fucking don't like them. they're very unprofessional and Blue is dating fast.




Sunday, October 10, 2004

THE BIG RED ONE
I adore Billy Miller of Straight to Hell. He is the ultimate doll. Here's a little enote i just received from him:

Dearest One,


heidi ho.
sent the re-re-done (and hopefully final) version of Doowackamuthafukindoo Deux Redo out the other day.
only thing i'm not totally sure of is the ending as it's hard to do a last song using that 20s-30s stuff as they usually end the song so abruptly.
will have another installment in the series -either "The Sophisticated 20s" or "The Raunchy 20s" done in a week or so.
and will make sure it's really done before sending.

did you know that the reason that recorded music before 1927-28 sounds so tinny and like it was recorded through a wall is that in the late '20s they invented a new recording technology that picked up a fuller spectrum of sound...so everything before that don't sound too good, which is why many artists re-recorded their stuff after that (and it usually sounded way better when they did.)
if you were to have heard the music performed live at the time it would have sounded pretty much the same as it would now, but when they recorded it with the older equipment it sounded weak in comparison to the recordings that were possible to do later.
Some of the earliest recordings (on wax cylinders for instance) sounded weak partly because of the playback technology and sometimes they can now pick up a lot more sound on those old recordings with digital technology...so occasionally they've found old cylinders that now sound 100 per cent better nowdays than they did to folks back in the day.

saw a pre-code movie on cable the other day...some of those are real eye openers and suprise you with the occasional realness and freakiness.

it weird that out there on that coast everyone is so celebrity obsessed (they are here too i quess but it's not all movie and tv and not so exclusive and class specific as out there) and i was reminded that the 20s was really when that virus took hold.
i love movies, but movie stars are like so much cattle wearing designer clothes to me...whenever i see one of the new batch of tv fashion/design expert fags on cable i cringe...clowns are an easy sell to the network executives i quess...this one called Steven Cojucoojew (or something like that) even wrote a book about his standing around in front of openings called "Red Carpet Diaries" wherein he talks about such weighty subjects as who does and doesn't "give" when they're walking into an event -is that deep or what (?).

here, everyone is an ARTIST (read S.l.a.c.k.e.r.) which is sometimes even worse than being a "star" as it means that they're on some kind of higher plane of existence (at least in thier own minds) that is beyond ordinary mortals.
no one can say that they are a waitress or apartment painter (or like me: lazy disfunctional whatever-comes-along doer) which makes me feel bad for all the millions of people who think or used to think that those were worthwhile and fullfilling -and perfectly noble- occupations.
quess someday everybody will be an Artist, which has at least provided us with one reason to not want to live forever.

Saw Angela Davis on a cable show where they interview book people the other day.
girlfriend is still the bomb.
have been aware of and read some of her essays about what she calls "the industrial prison complex" which she discussed.
as well as bringing up the possiblities of other kinds of "democracies" than the American brand, which is now indisdingishable from capitalism.
she still seems to be some kind of a Marxist which is the one area where i differ in opinion with her...(wrote her a letter expressing my concerns about that as a matter of fact.)
she's not the sexy beauty she once was, but even more perceptive and focused.
what impresses me the most tho is her reserve and deference.
she never comes off angry or preachy or more-informed-than-thou.
always paced and even soft at times, yet percise.
she's to the point yet considerate of the other person's feelings and point of view.
an ongoing role model for anyone who has the humility and smartness to see.
she is a real honest-to-god SOUL SISTA.

went way over my usual 7 line limit here so...

wuv,

-bilwee

BURCU'S ANGELS
Bricktops Way Down East, Lillian Gish celebra sparkled. Andrew screened D.W. Griffiths "Intolerance" and the clubgoers were transfixed by it. The images are startling and all the different sepia tones are really striking.
Lots of handsome young men in attendance. Of course the Ditty Bops were exceptional. Those girls just embody the spirit of the club and their "Am I Blue? Theme was perfect.
Our taxi dancer Summer Peaches of Augusta Georgia sure was causing all the straight boys major tent pitching. Her revealing wardrobe had their tongues glued to the floor. A cute boy was celebrating his birthday and i pulled down his pants and took a bite of his globular buttocks cheeks. Well a girl has to get a little something sometime.
Now what are all these blasphemous rumours about me and Billy Jo of Green Day having an affair. I guess the National Enquirer ran a picture of us kissing, but that photo was really very very innocent. Believe me i am not interested in him in the least. He's way too short. Please you internet geeks stop spreading this nonsense. All you have to do is ask me who I'm sleeping with and I'll gladly tell you.
One person who came to Bricktops friday that I'd love to roll around in the proverbial hay with is Benoit Vuitton, the heir to the Vuitton empire. He came with french philosopher icon Bernard-Henri Levy, who started to put the make on pretty designer Shauna Leone who had her Prohibition Boutique set up in the foyer. Both girls and guys were buying her garters and fancy headbands. Between Summer Peaches and Shauna, it was hard for a girl to get a little attention from the men. Writer, nerd Dave Eggers was also going gaga for Shauna, but i think she prefered Dustin Hoffman's DJ son Jake Hoffman who came into the DJ booth asking me about a Tiger Lillies song i played. The Tiger Lillies are coming to LA and will perform at the tired Knitting Factory. Boy do i hate that venue.
Had a sweet discussion with art Historian and professor Robert Summers. He got fired from his teaching job because he showed one of my experimental films to his class. Boy, am i ever controvertial. Robert's handsome boyfriend the art photog Matt Lipps was causing all the girls in the room including some Velvet Hammer dancers to breath pretty heavy. Matt is dream divine. Also Jason El Norte of Mexico City is a major female trap, even the actor Dominick West, wearing hardly anything could take away the ladies attentions.

















Monday, October 04, 2004

QUIZOOLA
Note to ladyself: pick up a copy of the novel Une Vielle Maitresse by Barbey d'Aureuilly.

Bricktops Lee Miller salute was a resounding smash. The Ditty Bops are back as the October visiting artists in residency and they performed au natureul. Lots of dignataries abounded that evening. One of my favorite controversial french directrices Catherine Breillat whose new flick Anatomy of Hell, i can't wait to see. I saw her other film, "Romance" and loved it. Also chatted with hot young german actor Daniel Bruhl(Good-Bye Lenin) who is living in LA now. He knows a lot of my Berlin friends. Daniel was getting cozy with sexy movement artist Jean Spinosa and designer Shauna Leone who was wearing an amazing Little Bo Peep outfit. Regulars Don Spiro and Augusta were their usual charming selves and Velvet Hammer stage manager Dirty James was looking very handsome and robust. I almost didn't recognize Victor Rasuk, the sizzling young star of Raising Victor Vargas. He's living in LA now preparing for his role as skateboarding legend Tony Alva. Victor was very much taken by our taxi dancer Summer Peaches of Augusta, Georgia. So was Jailbait Velasquez, the husband of punk rock legend Alice Bag who was in a playful, frisky mood.
The next night i was back at the parlour for the early evening LA premiere of Rosa Negra a telenovella produced, directed and starring Viva Ruiz. I adore Miss Viva. She is a downtown legend, one of the house of domination, jackie 60 girls and was also in the punk sex band Thrust with Kelly Webb.
The event was produced by Bryan Rabin, who was looking very handsome. The tela novela also stars tranny superstar Sophia LeMarr, latin fanclub's porn papi Tiger Tyson and comic Marga Gomez. Howie Pyro was the DJ playing a great eclectic mix of tunes. I was exhausted but had a good time.
Sunday with Jason El Norte as my escort i went to the west coast Guido menswear fashion show at the Hotel Figueroa. The boys were pretty hot looking, but only one had a bountiful buttocks. The only free drinks - champagne and no food except tortilla chips, which in my book doth not a good party make. But Riley Moore was DJ-ing and i adore her.

The best thing about the fashion show was there was little attitude among the guests. It was pretty comfy and low key and the hotel is lovely. My fav outfit was a pink micro cord gigolo suit. At the new york show, one of the Gotti grandkids modeled adding Guido realness, the rep was telling me how awful he looked, but in the video he looked fine to me, he was wearing his own Diesel jeans, but he has that requisite Staten Island suburban look that i love--part choirboy/part hustler. And his swagger was better then the professional models. Also ran into Clint Catalyst who quit working for Tyra Banks' TV show, Jeremy from In Style Magazine, Billy Patchen of the infamous Patchen Bros and 99 Fuck You. He was hanging with Charlie of the band Rex Aquarium and Brian O'Keefe of the underground hit record "New York is So Cool"

Thursday, September 30, 2004

HURRY ITS LOVELY UP HERE
hey buds below up is where to grow, up with which below can't compare with . . .
had power breaky at Pacific Dining Car with the beautiful Ben Adair. What a free flowing name that is, eh? Ben use to work for the LA Weekly when he was just a skinny, scrawny kataen infiltrating the gathering places of young Republicans and the like. Now he's 32 years old, works for NPR and is a stunning, muscular, bubble butted sophisticate.
Alas everyone must age except Ms. Davis. How long have i been living in human form? 437 years give or take a century.

Ben and i shared a lovely morning, and he wants me to be a correspondent on the radio, which i think is a merry good idea. I'd be perfect as a radio presenter, which is what they call the profession in England. Can't wait to work ever so closely with Mr. Adair.

Monday, September 27, 2004

NORTH OF RANCHIPUR
I love my emails from Bruce "Judy" LaBruce the Canadian auteur. Tell me what YOU think of him.

hey ho: the toronto festival was cool. two sold out screenings, one in a seven hundred seat theatre. toronto audiences can turn on their own, but this time they gave me a pass. good reviews in the two weeklies. apparently i’m also getting good reviews in the new york times, the voice, and time out new york when it opens tomorrow at the quad. so that’s all good. still getting invited to festivals. the fest was fun. hung out with gus van sant, harmony korine, christopher doyle, anne coates (the woman who edited lawrence of arabia!), gaspar noe, john waters, asia argento. jt leroy, etc. i had a nice party for raspberry which was packed, at a gallery here called greener pastures. i just got back from the atlantic film festival in halifax, and i have to go to montreal for a week on monday. the muslim is in africa and i haven’t heard from him for two weeks so i’m kind of apprehensive about that. he’s threatening to move back again. what’s up with you, magoo? x blab

The nine drugs in Rick James' body when he
died: xanax, methamphetamine, wellbutrin,
celexa, vicodin, valium, cocaine, Digoxin,
and Chlorpheniramine. Macaulay Culkin is a
relative lightweight - he was busted with just
xanax, marijuana and clonazepam.

i also heard from a reliable source that james was partying with pamela anderson and david lachapoop at the chateau marmont just before he died. when they heard of his death they declined to attend the funeral, changed hotels, and kept partying. x b

join the homosexual intifada! by the way, i finally got the t-shirts made. will munro helped me desing them. they have a corrupted RAF logo on the front (changed to RRF over a kalashnikov rifle) and the slogans on the back. they will be available soon on my website. you can choose from:

join the homosexual intifada
heterosexuality is the opiate of the masses
the revolution is my boyfriend
put your marxism where your mouth is
madonna is counterrevolutionary
corporate hip hop is counterrevolutionary

tell your friends. x blab

Sunday, September 26, 2004

UN CERTAIN SOURIRE
One of my favorite french writers Francoise Sagan died. She wrote the book Bounjour Tristesse when she was only 18. I remember first reading it when i was about 13 1/2 years old. There was a great old bookstore on Western Avenue near Melrose where i would hang on the weekends and the owner would give me old sheet music and books, and Bounjour Tristesse was one of them. Her later novels weren't so good, she never could repeat the edge she had when she was very young. I also love the film version starring Jean Seberg, David Niven and Deborah Kerr.

Oh i forgot to mention that also at my screening was Patty Powers, back from New York, Don Spiro and the sensational Augusta looking like 30 strillion bucks. I know i'm forgetting a lot of other notables who were in attendance, please overlook my junior alzeheimers.
CIANT DA LI CIAMPANIS
I had an amazing kawiller patatty time performing with the lovely ladies of the Velvet Hammer Review at the El Rey Theatre. Of course it was the hottest day of the year, thank god i was in boy drag doing a male heritage striptease number wearing a light wool pinstripe suit, boater and 20s onepiece knickers. It was difficult trying to maintain a manly guise, but i seem to pull it off.

The backstage camaraderie was the best part of the evening. Michele Carr has a great group of new girls in her company. The veteranas Scarlette Fever(Hope Urban) and Farhana(Plez)were constantly cracking me up with their campus cutup antics and words of wisdom. Plez keeps getting younger every year. She looks better now then when she was a teenager in the late 70s. And Ms. Urban is quite the Gene Tierney "Leave Her to Heaven" sophisticate.

I'm so glad i had the opportunity to watch Delores De Muela(flawless!), Miss B. Haven(enchanting), Marcellina Merlette(perfection) and Lola La Cereza(dreamy) from the wings. All that sensual beauty and formidable talent, Wowza!

This was the fastest paced VH pageant I've ever witnessed. Dirty James needs to be commended for stage managing. The second act was just as dazzling as the first. Foxie Moxie(brilliant), Sissy Spanx(delirious),Venus De Mille(enchanting) doing the Jerome Kern novelty song "Cleopatterer" and ending with exotic Princess Farhanna and Samra. The comics, jugglers and host were also very inspiring. I had the time of my life participating with all those red hot troupers.

Bricktops on Friday was Swashbuckler Nite-a trib to Douglas Fairbanks. It was supposed to be Marcel Duchamp, but the Toxic Titties had to cancel so i did some reconfiguring. Jason El Note the Mexican Taxi Dancer was delighting the crowd with his lovesexy spastic moves. He is such an adorable boy.
I performed one of my sickest numbers EVER dressed in a black burka, i pulled a beautiful young Montreal boy out of the audience and sung an extemperaneous ballad to him. The Canadian boy was with another young man, a handsome Italian. They both were dressed to perfection and had a lot of style. The Montreal lad is a shoe designer who lives in dull Santa Barbara. He was so happy to have discovered Bricky's. He found us via LA.com, Laurie Pikes on line scene guide. Miss Jean Spinosa came with John Heinz, Heinz Ketchup scion and son of Teresa Heinz the democratic candidate Kerry's wealthy socialite wife. They were part of an entourage that included actor Anson Mount, German DJ Paul Van Dyk and Pixies guitarist Joey Santiago. Art Historian and academe Robert Summers and his humpy beau, the photog Matt Lipps also stopped by. Robert has been showing my films in his classes at some small college in the Inland Empire, and its gotten him in a whole lot of hot water. Received an email from him today and my movies being shown in his class have resulted in his being fired. I had no idea i was so controversial.

Last night my Retrospectacle at the Arc Light Theatre as part of the Silverlake Film Festival was sweet and intimate. I was kinda burned out from so much performing, and preparing for the Visions of Excess Balkan tour and an upcoming performance in lil olde New York. Why is it that there is always a heat wave when i have to do a lot of performances in Los Angeles? Oh welp. It was great seeing Nicole Panter, Lisa T and Daniel, journalist Dave White, Mike from Seattle, Sean Carrillo, Bibbe, Beck and new wife Ms. Ribisi, Mulholland Drive muse Rebekah Del Rio, Brian Kaneda, Marky Mag and his cute pal, Mark Simon, Dave Pendleton and the cast of the Boyfriend, Marvina, Matthew Barney and his step son Sindri, who whispered to me. "I have a crush on you" I don't think Byork would approve of me fornicating with her 19 year old son.
Special thanks to latin hungthrob Cesar Vega for being my handsome escort and holding my hand through the event, and Jason North for participating in the live crack cocaine portion. Festival director Greg Ptacek gave me a wonderful introduction. Ms. Davis doing datenight at the Arc Light was certainly one subversive moment in LA history.

Monday, September 20, 2004

VLADIMIR HOROWITZ
yes he was one of the greatest living pianists. That was a tidbit from the great Elsa Maxwell. I received this tidlywink from east coast journalista Jay Blotcher:

Early in Phyllis Diller's career as the first female stand-up comic, she did her comedy in a burlesque house. The question is, what famous writer was a burlesque dancer at the same club during the same time? The Purple Onion was not technically a burlesque house, but a night club with go-go dancers. One of those go-go dancers was none other than MAYA ANGELOU

Was taken to brunch yesterday by Anderson Cooper, the son of Gloria Vanderbuilt. He gave me a pinstripe suit that belonged to his father. Its too big for him. I love it, because its very old fashioned and comes with these amazing suspenders that have leather in them. He also gave me some wing tipped black shoes that are perfection and a silver walking stick. All this comes just in time for my performance with the Velvet Hammer Heritage Burlesque group. I'm going to do a male hertigage striptease as my manly alter ego Buster Beaute'.

Saturday, September 18, 2004

THE GUERMANTES BI-WAY
o Bessie Love, you and that hornriffic ghostbeast that haunted your Laurel Canyon cabin back in the 20s still trying to get his proverbial gnut in this century. My famous novelist girlfriend Lisa T. lives in your log cab now with her studly boyfriend Daniel and her precious daughter Imogene, so that incubus doesn't bother them, but in his heydey no lady cooch was safe. Mr. Inc made a brief appearance at Bricktops last night trying to enter the sweet domain of the voluptous Anna Bells of the Fishnet Floozys, but she fought him off and wowed the audience in the process. Anna was a last minute substitute for Kitty Diggens, who was originally booked, but had to bow out because she had to attend some tired gay wedding.
So much beauty in one night of frivolity. Handsome TV presenter/club DJ and academe Josh Kun, who teaches at UC Riverside was looking very dashing. Of course his looks and charm can't compare to the stunning movement artist Jean Spinosa whose escort was a comely young man with muscles, glutes, and penis galore, new to LA from New York who is in the current issue of Italian Vogue modeling skimpy underwear and also gogo dances at Mario Diaz gay boy saturday party HotDog at the Parlour. Giving the young beauty prize the hairy eyeball was two famous basketball stars Luke Walton and Slava Medvedenko, who were also hitting on the ladies, like designer Shauna Leone and her pal Melissa, who were more interested in rock star Tre' Cool of Green Day whose posse included Swiss artist Ugo Rondinone, British actor James Purefoy(Vanity Fair's lusty Rowdon) and eurasian model Devon Aoki. Getting a bit rowdy was the french contingent of actors Gaspard Ulliel(Strayed) Guillaume Canet(Love Me If You Dare)with honorary frenchy but actually an Argentine Rodrigo de la Serna, who was flirting with pretty Jovita Carpenter hanging out with hot latin film producer Cesar Vega and the "Beyond Lovely" cast and crew. It was wonderful seeing Dora! the most powerful woman entrepreneur of Ventura County. Lady Dora owns the legendary Ventura store Wilde Planet and is one of my oldes galpals. We go back 20 years plus.

The evening ended on a coital high. At 2am i hailed a taxi home, dressed in my muslin, muslim outfit complete with 77 veils. Of course a hot Arab cabbie picks me up. Is complementing me the entire ride, saying how pretty i look all covered up with just eyes showing, wanting to know if i had a boyfriend or if i was married. I told him my husband is on a business trip, and so i invited in, and he had one of those giant peterfications that made Paul Bowles, Genet, and Burroughs permanent Morocco residents. He pulled it out in sections and devoured all 9 inches. He was so passionate, and relentless. Four hours later he left me all satieted and said that he likes, "women like me"

from one woman like me, to another . . .

Friday, September 17, 2004

CASTOR PACHACA
The beautiful Miss. Jovita Carpenter fetched me from my studio to the Juicy Post Production House in aunt Monica off of 10th street and Olympic so that i could loop dialogue from the short film "Beyond Lovely" that my hot Azteca warrior Cesar Vega produced. Juicy is very high tech in a Frank Gehry like fashion, and the staff was very sweet, friendly and accomodating. The ordered me a delicious lunch from Swingers, Santa Monica. I didn't even know there was a Swingers in Santa Monica. I'm so not a westside girl. After my duties Jovita took me to the 18th Street Gallery so that i could take a peek at my installation, which I've never seen. The performance artist Michael Sakamoto was facilitating this afternoon in the gallery space, and he told me that there are some people who spend hours going through all the letters and pictures, so that really warms my cold black hyeart.
I adore Jovita, we filmed a scene at her amazing Echo Park compound. She and i are now best girlfriends. She is a big Dolly Parton fan and even has a shrine to her idol in her home.
***
Had dinner with Hector and Erikla and Hector's baby Brother and his cute wife Betty. They made some delish tostadas. Yum.
Hector and i later took a cruize around Hollywood and stopped off at The Gauntlet for their wet underwear contest. The place has really improved since the last time i ventured there a few months back. Boy did they have some giant endowments on parade. And the men go in the back stage area and volunteer to fluff. I even wanked the biggest penis for a bit. The man was huge with a capital T. Ran into cute Adam Hervey of the band Timonium. He has such a bubble butt. I've known him since he was 17 and had a girlfriend. Of course i'm responsible for him turning into a homosexual. His band played their first gig at Club Sucker, and he noticed all the hot men, and after that, no more girlfriend. Adam's uncle is the artist Carter Potter, who i've known for over 20 years.
One of the contestents on stage was this ill boy from Mexico City, who was telling people he's Greek. Well i guess Greece is close to Mexico on some map. I picked this kid up months ago outside of Circus of Hooks. I noticed he had a big fat JLo butt. When i got him home, i discover his butt is fake. He's obviously some kind of tranny with industrial sillicon shot directly in his glutes to make them literally rock hard and bubbly. Insane. Of course i sent him packing, but it makes for a hilarious antidote.

Tuesday, September 14, 2004

FEASTA OR FAMINA
That is always the case with me, when it comes to turtle dovin'. The other week i was hanging at Circus of Hooks looking for a meaty meat burger and i got cruised by a tall, handsome Fitch without the Abercrombie boy. I followed him outside and he introduces himself and mumbles something about renting a video to wanker doddle to, so i coyly ask him if he'd prefer the real MacAvoy, and he turns all West LA on me stammering that he has to get up in the morning, and milk an elderly cow, and breast feed his goldfish---a rolling litany of lame excuses.

So why did he bother cruising me in the first place. I didn't approach him. I was busy minding my own beeswax catching up on the latest isssue of Latin Inches. So typical. I guess he had a brief hankering for some Koby Bryant, but the reality of the situation set in and he changed his mind.

As I'm walking back home i start to say to myself, "This is why you have to leave this godforsaken place and move to Berlin"

Well that was then and whats going on now is that my phone is gurgling off the hook from cute young boys. Its like I've suddenly been re-discovered. Did I win some kind of lottery that i never purchased. Have i inherited a fortune from some long lost relative?? At the moment i have two very smoldering young, young boys pursue-ing me. I'm old enough to be their great aunt, but that doesn't seem to bother them. I'm not going to discuss it anymore or with my luck I'll jinx it.