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Monday, December 31, 2012


Had a phun breakfast at East London-God Bless Brit Food on the Mehringdamn Corridor with my lesben girlfriend Anna Mülter the other morn.  This place is my favourite eatery in Berlin at the moment and I highly recommend it if you are visiting.
In the evening I caught up with Anna again at Susanne Sachsse´s yearly holiday gathering at her spacious compound in the East.  Frau Sachsse is the most amazing party hostess in the world and one extroidinaire gourmand cook, and to be invited to her famous table is to enter a rarefied world of delight.  She prepared quite a feast this year and i wolfed down with gusto three large plates.  Film historian Marc Siegel was also on hand being charming with his Catskills sense of humour.  It was lovely seeing the creme de la creme of Berlin society including sexy and stylish Hannah Hurtzig of Mobile Academy, the sophisticated and stately curator Dorothee Wenner with her dapper escort Mickey, Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus who will spend the Silvester at an exclusive Spa at the Baltic Sea recovering from Berlinale Forum Expanded madness.  Miss Stefanie is the hardest working woman in Europe so she deserves a nice end of year treat.  Stefanie is always taking good care of her Vagimule doll, and gave me a wonderful large designer suitcase that is perfect for all my big trips for 2013 which includes location scouting for a commission performance piece in China.   
Also seen at this most sublime of holiday festivities: Booty gal Nanna Heidenreich(who brought some divine deserts to the party) and DJane Olga Damnitz, "It Girl" Katrin Dodd,the sensational video artist Phil Collins aka Re(Phil) with his Serbian lover Sinisha, stage designers Neboja & Senol Senturk with pretty girlfriend Ruta, muscular Norweigan stage director Vegard Venge with stage designer and costumer Ida Müller, dreamy scholar Matthias Haase who is now teaching in Leipzig after years in Basel,Muslim warrior Daniel Hendrickson with his smoking hot Italian husband Piero Bellomo, Arab/German actor Constantine Achmed Bürger with casting agent Britt Beyer, international art shtar Yael Bartana with artist girlfriend Saskia Wendend, Susanne´s adoreable twins Richard & Salome Gersh and Richard´s sweet actress girlfriend Vicki, Guillaume Henry of the House of Carven with his beau Olivier Rousteing of Balmain who brought along Antonio Berardi, Erdem Moralioglu and French journalist Romain Dauriac who is rumoured to be Vaginal Davis´new lover but don´t believe everything you read.
Tim Blue of CHEAP kollective who is now living in his hometown of Portland, Oregon called to chit chat and give everyone holiday greetings. It was wonderful hearing from the old skallywag who sounds like he is in good spirits back in the old US of A---- KKK.

Friday, December 28, 2012


The wonderful young artist Katja von Hellsdorf of the art/music group LeiseyLento came by the Cheese Endique Trifecta in the Rote Insel to make platinum sketches of the Vagimule doll for a new art project. Miss Katja who was one of my Weissensee Art Akademy students years ago is a very prolific artiste. We had a right girlish time together and she brought offering to la diva of non-alcoholic Champagne, a signed special edition, beauty products and cosmetics. My glorious children know how to take proper care of me. Afterwards we had a lively luncheon at the Vietnamese boite on Akazien Strasse Pho-viet.
Later in the evening I whisked off to KreuzKölln—Sonnen Allee to be exact, where I was invited to a Greek passive feast of ages by my sweet bubble butt and lovesexy´line Little Alex of Macedonia. Alex was with his handsome Israeli modern dancer lover Assaf Hochman, who I haven´t seen in months as he has been on tour throught Europe. Herr Hochman has one of the humpiest bodies in Berlin, and is the perfect piece of eyecandy besides being a very genuine young man. Alex & Assaf  are two of my all-time favourite children in Deutschland.

After supper Alex screened a delightful shortfilm he made at his parents summer estate in Greece featuring my gorgeous Los Ang daughter, the junior art shtar ZacKary Drucker. Little Alex is a top film student here in Berlin who makes his professors proud as he lives and breathes the cinema..  He  pops out a myriad of film projects that look slick and professional thanks to his topnotch director of photography Tim Schenkl and solid work habits.  I hope he will start concentrating on making  more playful short subjects like the one with ZacKary that are way under five minutes.  I´d love to see him break his hommage pattern and develop his own style and voice as he has a great eye for detail and surface.

During dessert and coffee Little Alex showed another short film, this one a highly ambitious take on Luis Bunuel´s Simon in the Desert starring Uli Ziemons, the handsome young associate curator with the Berlinale´s Forum Expanded. Uli is marvellous in this flicker and photographs beautifully looking like Paramount Pictures silent screen male ingénue Richard Arlen at times.

Wouldn´t it be a hoot if Little Alex skipped the arty farty and went directly to the small screen.  He´d be perfect as a dancing coach for the American spectacular Dancing with the Stars. With a face of a demi-god, his mad ballroom dancing champion skillz, and a tight tiny body complete with plump endowment he´d score a number one hit swivelling those saucy hips on a glossy TV dance floor.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012


Had a lovely pre Christmas Judy Garland Sunday at Arsenal Inst für film und video kunst watching the restored version of A Star is Born 1954 directed by faggots faggot George Cukor starring La Judy, James Mason, Jack Carson, and a sexy/dorky Tom Noonan. This is the second year of spending the holidays ala Garlandishral. We had a nice little group with us that included the Arsenal´s beautiful Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, gorgeous Susanne Sachsse leader of CHEAP kollective, humpy film historian Marc Siegel, Skandinavian Muslim jihadist Daniel Hendrickson with his juicy Italian lover Piero Bellomo. Also spotted in the audience a lot of visiting Americans on parade and luscious curator Dorothea Wenner. After the film Daniel and I were treated to a comfy taxi ride by Frau Schulte Strathaus to the Barbi Deinhoff to attend the birthday celebration of artist Angela Melitopolous and bbooks accolade Micho. Everyone at the Deinhoff was in good holiday cheer and in a festive mood. Saw bootysexy Nanna Heidenreich, DJane Olga Damnitz, Senol Senturk with his hot girlfriend Ruth,  the divine Allessio, Katja of bbooks, the sweet JewFro´d radio hostess from that station that is located inside the Pregnant Oyester aka Haus of World Cultures and many others too numerous to mention. Didn´t stay long as I couldn´t handle the cigarette smoke.

Christmas Eve was Pierro Bellomos annual feast of the Magi which was served in several radiant courses that included a Ravioli with porcini mushroom starter, SuSu Salmon entre, brussel sprouts galeon and gratin dauphinois with pomegranite seedlings. For desert a sparkling huckabee gallette unformed Apple WhyPie with Limon slices and whipped vaginal creme. Gastro delecti!!!! This year´s feast was an intimate gathering consisting of the Vagimule Doll in all her glory, Pierro, Daniel “Haji” Hendrickson and Tante Ingo the famous therapist to the gay shtars of Berlin.  Pierro loves Christmas and delights in giving his favorite womanly doll a truckload of designer gifts including beauty products, make-up, winter warm clothing that included some 20 pairs of cashmere socks as I am always running out of socks.  Where do they disapear to? 
After a week or so of freezing temperatures and snow, its almost balmy outside and in Bavaria its even warmer.  Chock it up to global warming.

Berlin during the holidays is pretty quiet as most German go back home to wherever they originally came from to be with MaMa and PaPa, and all the stores including the supermarkets are shut down solid which can be a bit of a drag. On Dec 28th they start selling fireworks so the city will begin to start sounding like a warzone with the cherry bombs and other very loud unruly firecrackers and fireworks which I simply hate. Why can´t people just watch Judy Garland movies to celebrate Christmas and New Year´s and forgo parties and loudness, eh?

Saturday, December 22, 2012


Had a delightful dinner with Daniel Hendrickson,the Skandinavian Muslim at a 24hour Kufta joint on Kott Busser Damn where we were served by a cocky pud of a waiter giving us big dique arrogance in spaids. Then it was off to Arsenal Inst für film und video kunst to see a program of films by legends legend and experimental feminist film godessa Sheila McLaughlin. Ms. McLaughlin was looking lovely and relaxed as she spoke before screening her short subject Inside Out 1978 with its major Ms. gorgeously stark patina. My favorite segment of the film features a Linda Blair-- Sarah: Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic look-a-like caught in a perspiration loop.

The two narrative feature films She Must Be Seeing Things 1987 and Committed 1980-84 co-directed by Lynn Tillman where Ms. McLaughlin portrays the rebellious film startlet of 1930s Hollywood Frances Farmer are notable for their complete aesthetic rejection of typical narrative flow & ebb and the favouring of dark, moody and lingering set pieces. Like her sister in the cloth Lizzie Borden, I love how Ms. McLaughlin cares not a tinker´s damn for polished acting skillz.

Wanted to stay for the Q&A with Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus & Heinz Emigholz, but I had to rush off to Kreuzberg to see my Malmö Art Akademy student´s performance with her art/music project Easter. Seen in the audience at the McLaughlin Kino 1 event: lovesexy composer and klavier dreamgirl Eunice Martin, handsome Markus Ruff of Living Archive Project, careerist Israeli filmmaker and bootypie Lior Shamriz, video artist Isabel Spengler and the director of the Klaus Nomi documentary The Nomi Song Andrew Horn.

Arrived at Lucia on Oranienberg Strasse in time to see my former student Stine perform abstractly with her very beautiful beau as part of a record release party for their latest album. It was almost as if I was seeing a live musical Sheila McLaughlin film unfold before my thyroid eyes. A very transporting evening as the bands dark wave soundscapes and monotonous singing stylings are quite infectious with its repitition for emphasis. I am expecting great things from Ms. Stine and her Easter Parade on the rote gravure.

Thursday, December 20, 2012


Went to the Kotti Shop at Adelberger Str 4 last night.  The place is the studio of my former Weissensee Art Akademy student Annette Knol.  Its located in the storefront of one of those block tower Turkish buildings from the 1980s at KottBusser Damn.  I had the hardest time locating the place which features occasional art events and performances.  The art/music group LeiseyLento featuring Katja von Hellsdorf (nee Maya) and Argentine Cristian Forte performed marvelously and kept the large audience in the intimate space deeply riveted to their alchemic soundscapes.  There were moments that transported me back to 1977 LA punk rock heyday and underground hangouts like The Hideaway on Traction Avenue even though LeiseyLento employ acoustic guitar, loops and feral saw.  At one point both Katja and Cristian seemed to channel former Cockette Fayette Hauser during her post punk incarnation in the band Interpol at The Brave Dog in Little Tokyo.  LeiseyLento singing “The City of My Dreams” harkened to Interpol´s ”The Girl Who Shot Andy Warhol”  Magnificent.

My mother Mary Magdelene DuPlantier barely made it to the new century.  She died June of 2000.  On New Year´s day 2000 when my mother was in relative good health she requested two very odd things from me.  She wanted me to get her some frog legs to eat, and to give her a beating from a switch made from a tree branch.  
My mother never resorted to corporal punishment with me, though I deserved a good thrashing many times for my insolent behavior as a strong willed child.  She actually never raised her voice to anyone and barely spoke above a whisper, but when I was being naughty she would calmly tell me to go out into the back yard and bring back a tree branch to make into the dreaded switch. We would usually start carving it together and it would difuse the situation and the said punishing item would never be used. 
Well on New Year´s day 2000 I went into my mother´s yard of her dingbat mid century apartment building in Hollywood that my sister Teresita also lived in and calmly started looking for an appropriate tree branch.  Out near the kidney shaped swimming pool were several young, humpy Latino men sunning themselves in the 70  degree plus winter weather.  The landlord of my mother´s apartment building became enamored with juicy Latino men after his wife died, and one of the men gladly helped me carve a switch using his Swiss Army knife.  It was very nice watching him work experiencing the flexing of his pectorals and rock hard solid abs. My sister Teresita being a fag hag was quite friendly with all the youthful Latino men in her building who didn´t seem to have jobs and were always out by the tiny pool.  I suspected that the elderly white landlord of the building was keeping all of these boys as his personal harem of able bodied concubines.  Of course thats just conjecture.
 By the time I brought my mother the switch she had forgotten about the frog legs ---thank god because that would have meant quite a trek by bus into deepest darkest South Central Los Angeles to find the appropriate soul food establishment that carried this unique culinary dish.
I have a picture on my refrigerator of Surfer Mike, the beautiful blondine bubble butt drug dealer to the Silverlake 40.  Mike was one of those Silverlake characters who appeared out of nowere in the mid 90s, but was actually quite sweet,  intriguing and charming.  Surfer Mike was a good time Charlie with a sweet disposition and ran what I gather was quite a success operation as a narcotics kingpin mainly supplying drugs to the gays of Silverlake and Echo Park.  Being someone who knows nothing about drugs as my drug of choice has always been alcohol.  From the grapevine I heard that Mike was the overseer of the homos faction while Ms. Carrie French took care of the east Hollywood bohemian straights.  Of course this was all a longtime ago so who knows what its like in Silverlake and the Eastside now.
Mike owned several houses around the Sunset Junction. One time at Club Sucker we even shared a smooch, and his lips were soft and entrancing.  He told me that he only liked Middle Eastern or Armenian men and many times at my Sunday afternoon punk rock beerbust I would see him in the company  of such said men.  One time I went to the discount Tuesday evening at Midtown Spa the bathhouse that caters to Latino, Black and urban men and their admirers that is located off of skid row and Central Avenue in Downtown LA.  I was shocked and pleasantly surprised to see Surfer Mike come out of a room with a big strapping thugzilla jubas jubilee black man with his hair in cornrow braids dripping semen from his dinosauric member.  I followed the pair to the showers and Mike seemed punch drunk from his heavy bout of sexing from the black stallion.  After his negro paramour left him in the open shower to take in the wet sauna, I approached Mike and he was stunned by my presence and was trying to clumsily cover himself with a towel, but it was too late I could see it all in its golden fury, and Surfer Mike had a lovely muscular frame, tiny waist and a rather plump flaccid penis.  Like so many men of his generation he wore baggy clothing most of the time that camouflouged his body, but seeing him naked was a joy complete.  I didn’t want to embarrass him further so when he made the lame excuse that he was at the bathhouse only because his shower was broke I just accepted that and let him nervously go on his merry way.  He headed towards the locker room area on the second floor so I gathered he had his fill of sex partners and was going home.  About an hour later I was ready to leave and noticed Surfer Mike coming out of another room this time with a young magnificently handsome and well whung Latino man.

Don´t you just love it when I get all Proustian and start doing my version of rememberance of things past?

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Because of my background having worked for the New Frontiers section of the Sundance Film Festival and at the Arsenal Inst für film und video kunst people say that i only like obscure movies or way out experimental films. That is far from true. The other day a friend visiting Berlin asked me to go with him to see the most mainstream of movies namely Skyfall the 007 film starring Daniel Craig and i loved that it was pure adreny escapism. It is hard for me to think of any James Bond other then Mr. Sean Connery, and a blondine Bond is a bit hard to swallowkin, but the rough faced Mr. Craig has a Napoleanic macha quality that really does something to me. He is one hot tiny pud. He must be really short in person to photograph so tiny. Could he be tinier then Lady Tom Cruise? Maybe.
The best part of the film was the geniustrata lovemaking scene between Craig and Javier Badem as a queeny villainess. Did i see Mr.Badem sneak a tweak of Mr. Craig´s pert bullet nips, or was that just my imagination? 
The two exotic bond girls were also quite good, and I adore Dame Judy Dench who is quite a handsome woman.

Kathleen Hanna of Le Tigre and Kenny Mellman of Kiki & Herb fame and their new music project Julie Ruin have a CD that is available at T. Cooper readings and through McSweeny's book club.

"A collection of *mostly* original songs by *entirely* original
artists—all inspired by the book—is also being released. Limited
edition CD available through McSweeney’s Book Club and at author
events (CD info below)."

I sing lead on a nutters alternative version of their song „Girls Like Us“. I don´t know if they used my crazed additional lyrics which i added or not, but if you come across it check it out and tell me what you think.  Special shout out to Felix Knoke of Tenderloin who recorded my vocals at his home studio here in Berlin and sent it to Kenny in New york.

Finished reading the book After Claude by Iris Owen that Mark Morgan Perez gave me. It is a fun and zany read which i utterly adored.

Met with a cute young fan who took me to luncheon at Santa Marie, the Mexican boite in Kreuzberg. Hadn´t eaten there in ages and the bartender remembered me.  Don´t know if thats a good thing or not. Ordered their Guacamole with Chips and the Ensalada Pera with Shrimps---lecker smecker!!!! Afterwards we had coffee and Margarete kuchen at the Bierhimmel. Was waited on by a cute, young German boy with a tight muscular frame who was very accomodating to say the least.

Monday, December 17, 2012


I love quoting James Baldwin. My secret admirer sent to the Arsenal a wonderful book as a present to the Vagimule Doll. The tome is called Dreaming in French-The Paris Years of Jackie O, Susan Sontag and Angela Davis by Alice Kaplan and I can´t put it down its so electrifying and there are some pics of a young Angela Davis from the early 1960s with a bouffant hairdo that I have never seen before. She looks incredible. I wonder who my secret admirer is. If she reads my blog I just want to say, “Haben sie vielen dank”. I am sure my secret admirer is a wo-man as men are never interested in me.

My brilliant young Malmö Art Academy student Stne O. Midtsaeter is in town with her band Easter who will be performing Thursday at Luzia at Oranienstr 34. Can´t wait to see them. Just watched their video on You Tube for the song Alien Babies which is divine and listened to one of their songs online called Champagne which I also love.

Rising Stars, Falling Stars-We Must Have Music Sunday night was quite intriguing with a screening of the Argentine film Toca Para Mi. The evening began with my partner in Tammy Grimes Mr. Daniel Hendrickson on piano playing Cholita´s Yo No Soy Puta Soy Princessa. Enjoying la pelicula de Evita- Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus who along with right hand man Uli Ziemons are in the thrall of Forum Expanded Berlinale madness. Miss Stefanie gave the Vagimule a wonderful early Hannukah Kwanza present of stylish matching designer luggage so that when I take my next trip I won´t be looking shabby at the boutique hotel lobbies I seem to inhabit on a regular basis. Incognito checking out the Arsenal was Carnegie Int´l curator Dan Byers with hunky Photios Giovaris of Callicoon Fine Arts who was swooning over Little Alex of Macedonia who was also getting major sex attention from junior art shtar Matthew Brannon. Real life Argentine music and kunstler Cristian Forte and his Leisey Lento partner Katja von Hellsdorf royally held court while enjoying a red vino buzz.  Catch Leiseylento Wednesday when they perform at the Kotti Shop.  Piero Bellomo of La Colleczione was looking as handsome as ever. Earlier I had breakfast with Pierro Bellomo and Daniel Hendrickson at the new Sonnen Alle boite Bath Medina aka City House from the same people that have the restaurant City Chicken.
Jake the blondine financier from Modesto, CA., who is the nephew of Hollywood director George Lucas and has been living in Berlin for three years was flirting with Ms. Davis along  with his pretty Austrian child bride David.   Note to men of Berlin.  If you want to live a long time on this planet brazenly flirt with Vaginal Davis.  Its good for your health and well being.

A publicist for the new film remake of Anna Kerenina starring Kira Knightley emailed me a few days ago to ask if I had gone to the press screening and what did I think of the film. I went to the screening ages ago, and had forgotten to jot down a few lines about the pic so I will remedy the situation by saying that this version is quite a visual treat mainly because of the costumes, set design and the youthful male beauty of Aaron Taylor-Johnson who is this generations Maxwell Caulfield. Not only is the gorgeous manchild British like Mr. Caulfield but he is married to director Sam Taylor Johnson who is some 23 years his senior just like Mr. Caulfield´s significant other Juliet Mills of Nanny & the Professsor fame.  Mr. Taylor-Johnson is only 22 and is already the father of two small children. 
Once I was on a flight from LA to New York with Miss Juliet Mills, Mr. Maxwell Caulfield and their teenage daughter. Mr. Caulfield spent most of the time in the back galley doing sit ups and push-ups to maintain his bountiful pecs and abs no doubt. Who can forget those classic pics of him from the 80s clad in nothing but red shoes or his shirtless self in the Penelope Spheeris film Boys Next Door along with male ingenue Charlie Sheen.
Miss Mills and her daughter were holy terrors to the trolley dollies on the flight we were on. I guess having once been a big celebrity and having now to fly coach can turn anyone into a madwoman et charliot.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

For those of you visiting Berlina as we are engulfed in early winter unending snow storms and are looking for something fun and unusual to go to check out below an opening at Casabaubou the studio of experimental film legends legend Wilhelm Hein and his art photographer girlfriend Annette Frick.  Also the hot Berlin band Leiseylento are doing a bunch of local shows and they are not to be missed as well as one of my Malmö Art Academy students Stine O Midtsaeter who is in town with her band.


ist es soweit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sonntag 16.12.2012 
16 bis 21 Uhr im CASABAUBOU -
Berlin - Wedding -  Seestr.107

*KEINE TABUS KEINE ZENSUR ????!!!!???? von Annette Frick


NUR AM 16.12. 2012 für 15,- Euro sonst 30,-


here is the last newslettre from leiseylento:

dear everybody,

again we are in this part of the year where darkness covers most of the day and the mood is unsteady... and we "latinos" remember sweetly the unbearable heat of south latitudes during the feast times... christmas with 40°C, plastic trees and santa-clauses in their absurdly warm clothes while everyone is sweating!
NOW , we want to CHEER you up with some concerts, come and cuddle in small dark clubs feel warmth in your hearts on the sounds of Leiseylento & Los Mares during these terrible winter nights:
29.11  21h with Los Mares   EIS 36 - am Kotti (in front of Möbel Olfe)
14.12  20h       CAFÉ BÄNSCH - Friedrichshain, Bänschstr.79
19.12  21h  with Herr Teufelsdröckh und das Taschenmesser  KOTTI SHOP - am Kotti ,
21.12  21h  with Los Mares   SOWIESO- Neukölln, Weisestr.24,
26.11  20h  with Los Mares    LA ESCALERA- Friedrichshain, Köpernickusstr.1,
 5.01  19h SHARP!!  with Los Mares & Daniel Decker  SCHOKOLADEN- Mitte, Ackerstr.169,
12.01  20h with Los MAres  GELEGENHEITEN - Neukölln , Weserstr.50

Leiseylento is preparing a new album, so there will be surprises in the concerts!!


Leiseylento  **bazaar musical***
face book: leiseylento

Darling Davis! its been ages!

how are u? are u in berlin these days? hoping u will be as im writing to invite u to this huge event going down, im planning with my band EASTER, to host a night premiering our new album that will be out the same night, THURSDAY NEXT WEEK, THE 20TH that is, AT LUZIA in oranienstr in kreuzberg.

think it will start at 8 and we will perform the new songs and invite a real hot dj and party into the next day, the one supposed to be the last of all.

HOPING SO MUCH u can make it, would be so great to see u there and i really wanna show u the music.


Stine O

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Tuesday, December 11, 2012


Had a lovely breaky at Rueben at Mehringdamn with Anna Muelter formerly of HAU who is now working with Mattias Lienthal and Katrin Dod on a Theatre Festival in Mannheim. Anna had been in Beirut with Mattias right after the infamous bombing. Mr. Lienthal is teaching in Beirut for a year before working on the Theatre Festival in Mannheim. Anna and I we were supposed to have breakfast at my favourite boite East London-God Save Brit Food but it was closed. The night before Manuel Schubert of FilmHighlights Magazine came by the Cheese Endique Trifecta to interview me along with Katja von Helldorf and Cristian Forte of my favourite Berlin band LeiseyLento. Senior Forte is from Buenos Aires and because I am showing an Argentinian film Toca Para Mi as part of RSFS-We Must Have Music Sunday at Arsenal Kino 2 8:30pm I thought it would be a good idea to interview the band, and it was. We had a delightful time together and the interview was in Deutsch, English and Spanish. Earlier in the day I was working on an essay I am writing for a museum art catalogue which I am forced to do longhand because I don´t have a computer anymore—which is a drag, but while writing I was while listening to NPR Berlin´s rebroadcast of Fresh Air with Terry Gross that featured the children´s writer Daniel Handler aka: Lemony Snicket of the famed tome A Series of Unfortunate Events. Mr. Handler who is from San Francisco also collaborates from time-to-time with Stephin Merritt of the beloved indie rock band Magnetic Fields. Mr. Handler is featured quite heavily on The Magnetic Fields classic 69 Love Songs album. I was surprised to discover that Mr. Handler is married with child. I always assumed he was a Ganymede. Never assume anything about anothers sexuality.

My poor family in the states is going through some horrible hardships. Both my nephew and niece are homeless, and my nephew wants me to take care of his two children ages 5 and 14, as he and his wife who are estranged can´t seem to keep anything together. My nephew is finally calling it quits with his wife who has left him a million times for some hip hop thugs she meets from the internet. She is a lower middle class white girl from Washington State, and her family of Neo Nazi´s dis-owned her when she married my nephew. She was hoping my nephew would be more fun to be with, but because of his military background he is actually quite conservative and staid. I feel sorry for his wife who has a severe case of jungle fever. I only met her once, but she seemed nice, just a little bit of a know-it-all. When they married she was quite svelte, but now like most Americans she is the size of a large refrigerator. My nephew is also obese. Their two children are very pretty with blondish blonde hair and aqua marine eye color. The oldest boy had a growth spurt and is 14 going on 25. My older sister tells me the kid has started using the internet to turn himself into a concubine to older men and women. Kids these day really know their worth on the open market. I have only met my nephew´s oldest son with his white wife when the child was an infant. I doubt if he will appreciate being shipped off to Germany to stay with a distant Auntie. I haven´t taken care of children since my nephew and niece were babies back in the 1970s. My nephew actually has two other children from a previous marriage who are in their early twenties who live in Las Vegas.

Outside of Olympia or Seattle most of Washington State is super hickxville just like California and the rest of the USofA. Now I have to figure out how I can take care of these children who are related to me, enrolling them in school in Germany and what not. I have my work cut out for me, not to mention I have a million projects I am involved in during the 2014-15 season.

It was nice to forget all my woes and attend Jewish Scandanavian Muslim Daniel Hendrickson´s annual Hannukah Party at his Neu Kölln compound. The food was extra lecker smecker and the company divine including Marc Siegel with a NYC Skype appearance from his famous Grandma Stella, the beautiful Susanne Sachsse who after doing Camp/Anti-Camp in Frankfurt had a series of performances in Vienna with Israeli art shtar Yael Bertrana, gorgeous Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus who just came back from Cairo, Egypt where things are quite tumultuous to say the least and love sexy Senol Senturk who designed the set for my VD is SFTD in Frankfurt.

The day before I got together for a Vietnamese dinner on Akazien Strasse with my Tenderloin comrades Joel Gibb the baby diaper of the Hidden Cameras and Felix Knoke who just got a new job as editor of the new Berlin based publication DeBug Magazine. Felix will also continue to contribute to Der Spiegel Online. Joel Gibb is planning on doing the route 66 drive from Toronto to Los Angeles during the Christmas holiday with pop star Feist. I can never keep up with Mr. Gibb who is constantly being chased by hunky male admirers. Rumour has it that at the last Pet Shop Bears club he was swooped on by dinosaur donged ginger blue movie kingpin Tim Krueger of Tim´s Tales. You know I am not one to gossip so you didn´t hear it from me.

One thing I did hear on the eurograpevine is that the queer German director Marco Kreuzpainter is working on a biopic about Rainer Werner Fassbinder with the amazingly creative title of Rainer. The director in question became known a few years back for a popular coming of age film called Summer Storm 2004 and also directing the 2008 film Krabat starring Daniel Brühl. I won´t say anything more about this project. I´ll let you infer what I think about it.

Saturday, December 08, 2012


Was at the American Bibliotech the other day doing some research for these art catalogs i have been contracted to write an essay for. One is for the Tate Liverpool and one for a museum in Hong Kong. Very excited about getting work in the East, and also being invited to China  and Korea for a commission piece. Lets face it kids China is the future. I need to start taking Chinese language lessons soon in anticipation for the takeover.
Read the Guardian newspaper section on birthdays and discovered that my old pal director Penelope Spheeris (Decline of Western Civilization) just turned 67 along with Bette Midler, actress Julie Harris(A Member of the Wedding) is 87 and my olde disco dolly partner Charlene Tilton from TV´s Dynasty is 54. The sweet British actress Emily Mortimer is now 41. I met her and her handsome husband Alessandro Nivola through Milena of Los Super Elegantes when they use to live in Echo Park. Now they are on the east coast. Hunky Treat Williams of Hair the movie is 61, Woody Allen is 77 and Deana Durbin the high C susie of Universal Pictures in the 30s and 40s and star of Three Smart Girls and Up in Central Park is still kicking it at 91.
I just found out that the writer Robert Greene(48 Laws of Power/The Art of Seduction) is a Vaginal Davis fanatica, and has even purchased some of my paintings from Participant Inc. Gallery in New York. Last year someone gave me a copy of his book 33 Strategies of War for Christmas, but i still haven´t read it.
Last night i had drinks at Anderes Ufer with Jason Byrne my former Cal Arts film student blondine who has been living in Tanzania from 2008. He took a leave of absence from his duties with the genocide tribunal to breathe in Berlin till January 2013. Jason is such a delightful booty pie and we had a wonderout time catching up.
Been receiving tons of major kudos for Camp/Anti-Camp VD is SFTD in Frankfurt. Phil Collins sent me a lovely note along with Manuela Monk, some  international curators who were in the audience and are interested in us doing it in Brazil and France, and sweet young, talented and beautiful Ale Bachlechner of KHM Köln. I was very touched by the outpourings.
This morning had breaky at East London-God Bless British Food with Christian Weber my VD is SFTD-Berlin assistant and his adoreable friend Florian. Christian is a young film scholar who did his Phd on Gus Van Sant and is very love sexy and extremely juicy. We all had The Full Monty olde fashion English Breakfast and then started gossiping. Christian and Florian told me all about George Gänswein who is the man behind the Pope. The fellow who is known as the George Clooney of the Vatican who convinced his holiness to donn Prada. Herr Gänswein is also the personal secretary to Lady Pope and the one who gets to service all his mighty needs as the most rocking bottom in Christendom. For his devotion he has been promoted to Arch Bishop and during a recent interview with the Bundespresident Gauck and the Pope, Mr. Gauck presented the papel prinzessin with a platinum and silver imodium dilda to which his holy roly exclaimed it was the biggest he had ever seen and was so thankful that he added a sensual grimace and accompanying gesture along with his appreciation.
On a similar note I was told that legendary actor Helmet Burger will be on the German addition of I´m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here also known as Jungle Camp on the Deutsch station RTL. The star is a bit down on his luck and is in need of the $monies the program provides. I applaud Mr. Burger for his candidness.