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Sunday, September 09, 2018



Did I forget to tell you that I saw a screening of the Jon M. Cho film Crazy Hung Asians that stars rapper/comic Awkwafina, the heiress apparent to Margaret Cho?
The film would have been more interesting if the sexy male actors were shown dry humping and doing the puppy chow on each other.  There is certainly a need for all-Asian starring Hollywood films.   While this programmer was colourful and fast paced, it was also a bit twee.  Hearing Grace Chang on the soundtrack was certainly a high point along with a very attractive cast.

A little excerpt from Mary Magdelene a novel by Vaginal Davis:

Nellent Forbrush, “Nelly” for short was all up in Dinah Shore arms about the French Lieutenant’s wo-Man chomping on her bit n apple.  He was 34 years old and very tall breathing life back into her with his CPR style suck phace.  The only thing she didn’t like about him was that he vaped.  She wanted to taste the natural Frenchy flavours and Gallic odours and not  his nicotine confectory.
Nelly also happened upon a giant North Eastern Italiano.  A competitive swimmer with a perfect streamlined moderne body beautiful and peterfication like a filled Cream soda bottle.  He was all mushroom headed wonder with massive gonads floating to the surface Run Silent, Run Deep freaky styly.  Nelly won him over with her detached throat nodgules, that were bringing him to the point of whoregasm before she decreased pressure and deflated him with one soulful slurry.  Miss Nelly wasn’t fully aware of her hidden talents or skillz.  All her life she took scant notice of hearthy charms and wool worth on the open marketa. 
The Italian hare could have easily impregnated any other girl, but fortunately for our heroine nothing could ever be planted in her barren womba.
The next day Ms. Forbrush traipsed in passions plurry with a thyroid eyed Ugandan hunchback with Plessy vs Ferguson liver lips.  He was passing through Prussia on his way to a wedding in Brussels Belgium.  He was fun and fancy free making her feel desired, but it was a  pillowlipped Columbian Cartel solicitor with a receding hairline who really gave her the girlish gnut she was craving.  He dragged her around the bedroom lifting her up high in the air and thumping her hard onto the floor.
His crotch was in her face, his feet were stomping on her.  She was wrapped around his torso, he was strumming her with Eddie Van Halen licks.  One of her legs he put over the dresser and the other down by the kitchen sink.  His kisses were carnivorous chomps drawing blood. 
He looked so harmless. She didn’t expect a man of his dimunitive stature to be so strong and tank like.
Between the biceps on his toes, and the rest of his ironclad musculature she fared pretty much like an Ostrich feather lost in his Mighty Joe Young arms.
Contemporary Vinegar Syndrome’s Borscht Belt Modalities evening at the Prinzessinnengarten am Moritzplatz was a sterling success.  The screening of Jumping Nite at the Garden of Eden by Michal Goldman 1988 and Granpa Sam 2001 left the publicum in a joyous summer nite mood. 

Jewish Muzlim Daniel Hendrickson was the overseer of our Nebesh Off, and made the delish pickles that everyone was munching on.  In the audience were some very beautiful Nebeshy boys which bolstered our musical soundtrack provided by The Glorious Barry Sisters. 

Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus welcomed everyone with open arms, and the Arsenal membership drive was certainly increased a thousand fold. 

Our guardian at the gate the lovely Salome Gersch was the perfect first person that everyone sees at the kasse.  Salome will be leaving Arsenal at the end of the month to continue her studies in France and write her Masters thesis. 

So happy we have the Red Baron Gerrit Woltemath Gottfried von Cramm as our sexy patrician Production Coordinator.  Gerrit takes care of every little thing for us brilliantly with his wonderful attention to detail.

The Prinzessinen Garten staff of Werner & Dennis, Mixologists Vivi & Ine at the bar also contributed greatly to the standout evening. Arsenal’s senior projectionist Bodo Pagels did a marvelous job with the 16mm projecting of Jumpin’ Night, a print that hasn´t been screened in over 26 years.

The celebutants in attendance:
teen star Aaron Hilmer (Das schönste Mädchen der Welt), Michaela (Ela) Wünsch of BBooks Kollektiv, Markus Ruff of Arsenal Leiter Archive außer sich, Uli Ziemons of Forum Expanded, Mariam Frick of Panorama Section of the Berlinale, Anke Hahn of Deutche Kinemathek, Natalie Knoll of Berlinale Forum, Popo Fan the juicy and stylish Chinese filmmaker, activist and critic with DJane Bianca Kruk  and sound designer Manuela  Schinina, tall,  hunky Luca Jacob Borkowsky head of Piranha Film/Womex Films, Monilola Ilupeju the beautiful Nigerian recent NYU grad who was the top student of my ex student artist Jonathan Berger, Kreuzberg local Senol Senturk, makeup and hair god Christian Fritzenwanker, Katharina Bischoff the Original Sin Production Coordinator, Discoteca Flaming Star’s Cristina & Wolfgang with their hot Madrid posse including Cristina’s radiant Biology professor best friend, hot young queer student Charlotte Peters of FU, Piero Bellomo, Claire Molloy Assistant Curator at Martin Gropius Bau, and former Goethe Universitaet curatorial studies student, sweet Verena Kittel of Liste Art Fair Basel, art schtars Wu Tsang &  Boychild, installation artist Raphaela Vogel, Deutsche Welle  and Bloomberg News journalista Michael Scaturro, Joel Gibb the baby diaper of Canada’s Hidden Cameras, Fearless Leader of CHEAP  Susanne Sachsse with film historian Marc Siegel aka: Marcuse Siegelstein, who is also in the film Granpa Sam which is a loving tribute to his famed photographer grandfather Sam Siegel, Linda Winkler of silent green, artists Clarissa Thieme and Nicolas Pittarides visiting from London, Magda Magdy, Stephan Ahrens of Zeughauskino, Michelle Ty and Johanna Rothe, Clarisse Mehring, David Schöler and actress Diane Kruger.

The Day before I was the DJane for the Christeene Concert at Berghain.  Christeene has become a huge superschtar in a very short time.  Her Cajun party rap mix performance style blends nicely with moments of timely introspection.  My mothers family are from Louisiana so I am quite familiar with the nuance of the Christeene persona, and its brilliantine!  She is both slick and polished, and not slick or polished, and that’s what makes things flow so effortlessly on stage.  Christeene is a post modern teene idol and has been collaborating with photographer and video artist Matt Lambert and the very cute Simon Kaiser.   
I also adore her Bob Fosse/Twyla Tharp back up dancers who are extroidinarily sexxxxy with boundless psychic TV energy. 

Opening up for Christeene was the divine Michele Lamy the muse and lifepartner of designer Rick Owens.  Michele has been making new music with her daughter Scarlette Rouge and will be performing at the next Frieze Art Fair in London.  Michele’s performance at Berghain was spellbinding.  Joining her on stage was Boychild and the two played off of each other to perfection.  Michele is in her 70s but is so youthful, so vibrant that she is the epitome of the ageless wonder.  Michele reminded me that I’ve known her since 1979 when she had the West Hollywood store Too Soon To Know on Santa Monica Blvd. 
Wasn’t expecting to see Rick  Owens at Berghain, but he came from Paris and it was quite joyous to reunite with him and the high fashion comrades he brought with him.  I haven’t seen Rick since last year in Paris when I modeled for his new collection, the photos of which became part of his big retrospective Subhuman Inhuman Superhuman at the Triennale di Milano.
In the audience at Berghain was actor Neil Patrick Harris dancing wildly, Shaggy haired artist Jonathan Meese, International DJane Honey Dijon, Richard Gabriel and girlfriend Lillian, with muscular medical student roommate Hermann, Daniel Hendrickson & Piero Bellomo, makeup artiste Akira Knightly with French fashion pals, and super model Max, scholar Marcuse Siegelstein with gorgeous diva Susanne Sachsse of CHEAP, Zeitkratzer percussionist Maurice De Martin, artist Tanja Schwarz, Wolfgang from Discoteca Flaming Star and sizzling Madrid gang of 4our, Felix Knoke of Der Spiegel, Liz Rosenfeld & Sam Icklow,  beauty artists Wu Tsang and Elly Clarke, and sexy young Frankfurt curator Jose’ Segebre.

Special thanks to Berghains amazing chef who created the most scrumptious dinner for us and Krischan Makswitat & Grinni Stangner who were so lovely in accommodating the Vagimule doll.

Literary Figurine:  To whoever is out there in the world wide web firmament.  Ms. Davis would love to get her hands on a copy of the book One Drop:  A True Story of Family, Race, and Secrets by Bliss Broyard.