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Friday, November 19, 2004

Had a precious luncheon date with art historian Robert Summers. He and his boyfriend/photog Matt Lipps, are just too delicious for words. I'm going to sexually art direct their lives, by first making Matt have wild sex with my Bricktops taxi dancer Summer Peaches. Matt is gorgeous with a stunning face, body and endowment and before Autumn's end I'm going to have him locked up in a four star hotel with Miss Peaches and his boyfriend will have to watch as they fornicate.

I also love one of Robert's students Jason from Jerusalem, an extremely bright, perceptive and sexually voracious young grad student from Israel. This Jason boy is proof that Jews are indeed, god's chosen people.


Was taken to brunchina by hunky Cesar Vega. We left around 12:30 to eat downtown, and somehow bru lasted several hours. We wound up in the main bar at the Biltmore Hotel where he was downing martini's and i was chugging blended whiskey sours. Cesar is going to go on a monthlong motorcycle diary jaunt retracing Ernesto "Che" Guevara's steps in South America. Now thats exciting!

Whenever I'm with Cesar i wind up telling him stories of my million year old life. Somehow first jobs came up and relayed to him how at age 8 my first dabble with employment was working around the corner from my apartment on Pico and Hobart for this 50 something black man name JB who had me seperating nails and screws in his workroom/garage. This little task took me all day and all i managed to earn was 50 cents. I guess thats not bad money for a child in the 1970s. JB was a dirty old geezer who had a 15 year old big peniled Puerto Rican concubine living with him named Roger Sanchez. Roger's 14 year old girlfriend from Costa Rica had the perfect screen star name of Zeidy Ballar. Zeidy and her younger sister attended the all girls parochial school Bishop Canady. Girls at that school were called Pico Pick-ups. I still remember how shocked i was when my mother who knew all the gossip in the neighborhood told me in a matter-of-fact manner, that not only was JB sleeping with Roger, but Zeidy, Anabelle, and Roger's father. I did witness JB propositioning my older sister Teresa Ray, who was 18 at the time and not exactly a knockout, with her crooked teeth and popping out thyroid eye condition. Funny, he was never inappropriate with me. Now that I think about it, I'm kindof offended.

Friday at Bricktops it was our Jerome Kern, Till The Clouds Roll Bye celebration. Kristian Hoffman the no wave legend who was in the great bands, The Mumps, The Swinging Madisons and a million others performed a delicious set of Jerome Kern songs, "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes and one I'd never heard of that was liltingly beautiful. We then dueted on "I Won't Dance" Kristian's accompanyist Linda Good lives in the Little Ethiopia section of LA Between Pico and Olympic off of Fairyfax. Linda is a very talented and sweet girl that works with Stew and the band, The Negro Problem.

Seen drinking and living it up in a grand manner, the juicy Gwen Kahn of the Pandora's fame. Gwen is also the granddaughter of songwriting legend Gus Kahn. Designer Michael Schmidt was his usual dapper self along with Dame Darcy, the illustrious Tommy Gear of the Screamers, film editor Billy Rich, Iranian tranny temptress Parisol whose been hooking in NYC, a low key Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. Who's minding that damn baby Apple?
My new cute protege and Otis graphic arts student James Medina, UCLA post docker Jason of Jerusalem, and Sloan Ranger British socialite Edward Van Cetsom who was macking on me one minute and Google founder Sergey Brin, the next.
The butch in the equation is Pat Kingsley, the uber careerist dyke honcho of PMK/HBH PR firm. Sundance is my gal pal Leslee Dart, who got the ax after 23 years of diligent service to the spinmeistering of the stars like ditzy Nicole Kidman, Woody Allen, Wes Anderson and that queeny horror Scott Rudin. For some reason i can get along with power bitches. We don't require the same kind of attention so there's no cancelling each other out. I never click with gay men, only straight women, diesels and fruit flies(straight men) I always wind up in intense romantic friendships with sexist pigs---the kind of men you wouldn't even expect I'd be acquainted with. Well Ms. Davis has always been a misnomer.

Filmed a little short yesterday with Margaret Cho and Jackie Beat. Not the kind of thing I usually do, but i haven't worked with Goddess Cho since our tour and it was great to see her again. Her house in the Montrose Hills is gorgeous from 1928. She and her husband Rev. Al of the Cacophoney Society have the place filled with all sorts of macabre art objects. My fav is the giant aborted fetus complete with unbiblical cord.

NOTE TO SELF: I can't give my time to any more film projects that aren't my own. Its just too taxing, so all you auteurs PLEASE don't ask me to be in your movie. I'm not exactly a gainfully employed superstar, so i can only afford to take on lucrative paid gigs and assignments.

In the words of the immortal Nastassia Kinski, "I'm not feeling very well".

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

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Monday, November 15, 2004

This just in from The Lady Bunny of Wigstock fame:

What is up with these CNN newscasters? Besides the obvious (they don't
report the news and even apologized like the New York Times for not
questioning the war in Iraq more) they are really having an image crisis.
Increasingly good-looking with capped teeth, newscasters smile too much and
every guest, even if they are a CNN staff member is thanked heartily after
their interview. Isn't that a fairly new development? Are they trying to
hide the ugly truth with an everything-is-great attitude? Carlos Watson has
the most dazzling smile of all. His new show which kicked off right before
the election? It's called OFF-TOPIC, and he interviews Heidi Klum and Shaq.
What a great time to go "off-topic" and divert attention from the tragedy of
the election unfolding. For chrissakes, even Aaron Brown has gotten the new
blue-white chompers put in. They look ok on Tweety-Bird impersonator Paula
Zahn, but show-bizzy teeth caps in Aaron's friendly potato face look
bizarre. And I'm certainly no prude, but aren't false eyelashes (Kimberly
Guilfoyle Newsome) and lip gloss (Kelly Wallace) a bit much for NEWSCASTERS?
Come on, I'm a drag queen so I know good and well that trends in cosmetics
may come and go but lip gloss clearly signifies "place dick here" or "my
lips, like my pussy, is moist". (On the other hand, for some inexplicable
reason CNN broke with their own beauty trend when they sent poor moose-like
Candy Crowley on the campaign trail with no make-up artist! And if anyone
could use a little help, it's Candy.)

Their newest golden boy is Rick Sanchez. I've always marvelled at former
golden boy Bill Hemmer, whose inane chatter strikes me as preposterous. Eg:
After the lovely Soledad O'Brien covered a story about Egyptian artifacts,
Bill cheerily chimed in with "Good history, Soledad." Why makes it good or
bad--it's history, you dunce! But Bill's dizzy homecoming king personality
is infinitely preferable to Rick Sanchez's sugar-coated conservative bias
which is driven home with the most emphatic, showboatin' hand and arm
movements I've ever seen on anyone reporting outside of a sports segment.
Rick must resonate with their (increasingly conservative?) audience since
his career is on the rise, filling in for Paula and making more and more
frequent appearances. He often interrupts guests, and he's chock full of
those bullshit "in as much as" and "in point of fact" corny, archaic
interjections which lead you to believe that he is very much in love with
the sound of his own voice. He's so desperate attempt to act "newscaster-y",
I wonder if he can even listen to the guests he engages in debates with?
(His last name indicates Spanish roots. Is he so desperate to honkify
himself that he is overdoing it?) Plenty of slang, too, to make it all
conversational and accessible--to morons!

And impartiality, formerly a hallmark of newscasting? Forget it! Two young
guys, just back from Iraq, were being interviewed by Rick, and were
describing the rampant anti-American sentiment there. Sanchez buts in with
"Well, we don't really like hearing that when we are over there trying to
free 'em." We're not trying to "free 'em", hon, we're trying to occupy them
so we can steal their oil--that's my opinion, anyway. But should HIS opinion
really be broadcast AS NEWS? So you "don't like hearing that". You booked
these guests as authorities on Iraq, and now you don't like hearing the
truth? When discussing Palestine with a guest, the Clinton Barak peace plan
was brought up and Rick interrupted with "I must say it's a pretty good
plan." To whom? To Palestinians? To Israelis? Or to Americans like you who
don't want to hear the truth and don't live there?

Look, I know that news shows are still show-biz and need ratings, etc., but
these trends, on CNN alone--I don't watch much else--are disturbing. Are we
so shallow that we can't even stand to watch a newscaster who isn't
prettified? And we'll put up with rotten reporting as long as the reporters
look good? Give me unglamorous, impartial Walter Cronkite anyday!

Hollywood/Broadway royalty came by Bricktops on Friday in the lovely visage of Ms. Wendy Stark Morrissey. Wendy is the west coast editor of Vanity Fair, and she and her sweet gay sidekick came by and we whooped it up drinking and screaming and carrying on. She is a hoot! Her father is the famous producer Ray Stark who produced Babs Streisand in Funny Girl and The Way We Were and countless other Hollywood films. Her grandma is none other then broadway legendina Fanny Brice. We're supposed to do a power lunch and i'll have to beg her to tell me stories of Ms. Brice and the heydey of the great white way. Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodovar also stopped by with a huge entourage but they mostly stayed in the back boydello smoking lounge. Met a sweet Otis Parsons design student named James Medina. What a booty pie.
Our theme Friday was a salute to Lupe Velez, the Mexican Spitfire. Delores De Muela, the Velvet Hammer's youngest ingenue performed a lovely little number with a pinata. Delores and her boyfriend make such a hot couple. A bunch of steamy, sexy latinos in the audience made for a hot night of salsa and south of the border flavour.

Had to leave town AGAIN, to get free editing time for my new experimental film, will be back Thursday in time for Fridays Bricktop with Kristian Hoffman performing. We might do a duet of some sort which I'm sure will be delightful.
My handsome young intern Gleeson sent me an email from a student at Deep Springs College, that wonderful school that hardly anyone knows about. Deep Springs prepares young men of stature and worth for a life of service in the greater Babylonian gorgon. There should be more colleges like Deep Springs. I'm looking forward to exchanging snail mail packets with those magnificent boys.