CHOPSLEY CHOPSLEY RABID BIKINI MODEL
Invited to Theater An Der Parkaue by the lovely Peter P. who plays my hunky tailor suitor in the Cheap production of Max und Moritz that premieres at the Parkaue on April 19th. The piece on the big stage this evening is called Leon und Lena, but should have been called Leon and Valerio. Peter plays Valerio to Steffan of Dr. Seuss and Stoffel fame´s self centered Prince Leon of Verbosia. Loved Peter, he has a great lanky young Robert DeNiro quality on stage, and every time he isn´t walking the boards you immediately miss him. Steffan was actually quite manlische in his leading role, and also wrote all the austere music that went well with the austere set. Everything was so austere it was bordering parody. I felt that the piece needed the music throughout, the choice of a highly stylized form and presentation made the proceedings a bit more awkward then the many pauses and stucatto phrasing, but hey i´m a girl who doesn´t believe in a lot of text. Don´t tell me, show me daddy eight to the bar. The best part was the homo erotic charged boxing match which could have gone on longer, and Peter and Steffan should have been topless and maybe even bottomless, no scratch that idea, just put the men in jock straps, this is a childrens theater after all.
The poor chicas in the piece were very much neglected in what was decidedly an all-male postering romp, with women left on the sidelines as tag-a-longs, and whose idea was it to put the leading lady prinzessas in those unflattering addidas pants?
***
Amazing dinner with Lady Stefanie Schulte Strathaus. Isn´t her name ultra classy? Lady Strathaus took little me and the Cheapies to dinner at Jacques on the Canal in Kreutzberg. What a meal. What glorious company. We all ate, and drank, then drank some more grappa and laughed until we were sick and horse. Now thats what i call a merry friday nite ´volity.

THE WOMANLY WOMAN
I still cant believe that i spent all ten days of the Berlinale Film Festival working in my Gossip Studio installation with Cheap. The only movie that i saw that wasnt at the Arsenal Film Forum was Guy Maddins silent film at the Deutche Opera House. I was so exhausted after seeing the movie, that i skipped the after party with Isabella Rossellini. I havent seen Ms. Rossellini since the 80s when my ex beau William Waldron of Just William on Melrose Avenue sold his Lloyd Wright house to her and then hubby David Lynch. The last thing i heard about William Waldron, who is the son of a Viscount, and one of the few English aristocracy with big cash on hand, was that he was living as a mountain man with long finger and toe nails in Northern California. This from his exwife, a negress vixen who stole him away from me. She only wanted him for his money, and i made the mistake of telling him, which exiled me from his life forever. of course i was right, as i always am, and their breakup destroyed him. But he has enough money to not have to worry about much, so good for him.
o i want to give a shout out to Deirdre and her sassy and sexy girlfriend. These two Canucks from Toronto really stole my foolish girlatia heart during the Berlinale hanging out with them, Miss Stefanie of the Arsenal, and Shari Frilot. At the big gala party we tore up from the floor up, and i got sooooo drunk i almost threw up on 60s supermodel Verushka.
my rest period is almost over as i will soon begin work on max und moritz, at the Parkaur Childrens Theatre, under the direction of Fearless Leader of Cheap, miss suzi sue. Can't wait. And if that isnt enough Cheap will begin at the same time preproduction of Whitey . . . Sort of, our performance operetta based on the famed Fassbinder film. We are hoping that Judy laBruce will direct. He will be in town soon to begin filming his latest flick, the zombie sex thriller Otto, which will features clothing designed by Vogue and Anna Wintour darling Rick Owens, who has also agreed to design the costumes for Whitey. For preperation i have to tell Rick to rent the movie musicals The Harvey Girls starring judy garland and Red Garters starring Rosemary Clooney. in Whitey we want the set to feature a large pomeranian horse and trainer. it would be great if the horse would go buck wild during the show and kick all of us performers off the stage into the audience.
jeffreyland hilbert reported to me that mrs. michael glass the genius behind amok books is in the hospital suffering from seizures. lets pray that mrs. glass recovers, and that she can escape los angeles the way i did, before it devours her beautiful black carcass.
o and someone emailed me a bit of gossipa about lenny and squiggly formerly of the funeral parlour club. My source said that their new restaurant on fairfax called T on Fairfax closed mysteriously. lets hope that Andrew got reign of his senses and finally left his sugar daddy Lenny, and moved back to England or he will wind up destroyed and left in the dung pile. Wake up Andrew! your youth has been wasted with that icky dimunitive creature. Lenny is made for Los Angeles, but Andrew should try and save what little is left of his soul, while he still can. Just a little word to the wize.