BONNY BANKS
The closing night party of the NATIONAL REVIEW OF LIVE ART and i beat on a fine face, and when i arrive a huge throng is waiting for me to begin. Talk about pressure. Mark the tech guy is a little perturbed by me. The other day i told him i wanted to change the location, not realizing he would work on it so promptly, well after sleeping on it, i decided the original location was best for my performance and dj set. its a woman's perogative to change her feral mind. needless to say i wasn't his favourite person.

i'm so use to U.S. tech people who wait till the very last minute if they do it at all. They are definately more on the ball in Scotland. i start off playing a mix of rock songs ala my days behind the spinderella wheels of steel at club sucker. i'm not use to spinning this material as for the last two years i've only dj'd 20s music. but the crowd seems to be enjoying themselves and loosening up. i'm wearing my rick owens special so i'm looking appropriately coiffed and styled---thank god it all came together quickly. The nrla has been as dry as burnt toast, so everyone is finally kicking off their knickers during my hosting and dj set. it seems like i was what everyone was hoping for.

lots of love connections are being made. The party starts early at 8pm and around 10pm i do a segment from my new piece orifice descending that goes over very well. i use dominic johnson and kris canavan as living breathing sculpture lined up behind my crazed antics. dom and kris are perfect and the crowd enjoys it. i continue dj-ing until 3am. i even get a little knookie from this hot lean and mean glaswegian boy who comes into the dj booth and lifts my skirt and commenses to toss my garden salad, whispering to me, "lets leave". i'm the hostess so i can't just take off with this hunk, but i'm certainly tempted. i feel him up and he has one hell of a hard body and beautiful big soulful eyes, a shaved head and strong features that are utterly divine. i have an assortment of erotic tinged videos displayed as atmosphere and everyone eats them up. The visuals certainly help everyone display their hornriffic ways. of course nicki, the director of the festival censors me. i'm in a good mood, or else there would have been hell to pay. people have seen enough of my sexy imagery, and they are all fraternizing and having a hell of a time. my mission is complete. Tomorrow off to london via a long boring train ride.

LONDON SPALLING
Dom takes me to the George and the Dragon a trendy pub in the Short Ditch area where he lives around Arnold Circus. i call this ShortDitch district, Short Bread and nearby Brick Lane--Crick Lane. Ran into Fred of the former Milch Gallery who bought us a round of drinks. he tells me that Bernal died. Bernal was a cute English boy who performed in Jennifer Blowdryer's Smut Fest back in 1996 at the Schmidt Theatre in Hamburg. Bernal was quite the slut, going to the saunas and Tom's Bar every night while he was performing. One evening he brought back a double barreled Brazillian who also wanted to make it with me and Crepe Suzette, who was in Hamburg performing with me.

London is colder than Glasgow, and it should be the other way around. I'm freezing! My southern california wear doesn't seem to block out the wind and chill factor. oh welp, i knew i wasn't going to palm beach.

Dominic's flat is really cute, cozy and charming. he is really taking care of me, the way i needed to be tended. i'm really very helpless. i don't know my way around the city as i have the worse sense of direction imaginable. We spend the night over at Franko B and his young lover kristofer canavan's house. kris makes a delicious lite meal and Franko does some dj mixing from his lap top. Franko is becoming a top ranking uk DJ---he can do it all. Franko is such a sweatie, its because of him that i got the nrla gig---he takes care of his girls.

DEVONSHIRE DOWNS
The last days of the NRLA festival in Scotland---Franko presented an open salon which really picked up a lot of steam. Richard Dedomenici is a scruffy, funny little man who made a hilarious presentation along with Ange Taggert who works with a collective that do a lot of filmed actions. Richard showed himself involved in a loopy piece on the streets of Chicago that was wild, inventive and spontaneous. Europeans can get away with double homocide in America, we always find their accents so charming. Also Chris Barton presented documentation of his work with the Artists in Residence Young Offenders Institution, which featured his baked excrement sculptures. Ms. Taggert and her group involve themselves with such stirling projects as: Cleaning Up After Capitalism, where they go into places like Starbucks with a Vaccuum cleaner and start cleaning. Almost immediately they are asked to leave, but at Barclay's Bank no one even notices. They even have presented these actions outdoors cleaning tram tracks. oh and one project involved a fake business called my dad's strip club. i've always felt it was important to get art out to people on the streets and these young artists are really doing that with gusto and clever art strategies and system interventions. unfortunately they run into resistence in shopping centers, where dialogue that interrupts customer spending isn't tolerated. in an action piece called War Against Shopping, it was hilarious how really young kids responded favorably and were willing to participate and be a part of the parodic pranks.

honey baby i'm all for creating more actions, and really going for that corporate jugular and attacking their profit margins. Regular forms of protest just don't work. no one pays attentions to marches, you've got to device new ways of sticking it to the man, and changing corporate logos like coca cola to Coca Colon, and going into supermarkets and breaking out in a ritualistic worship of the products on display----praying to Whiskers Catfood and asking people on the street---What is the best company to run IraQ?----Mcdonalds or Virgen Airles. now that is my cup of camomille tea.

i'm feeling low energy so i have to report on my performance piece and DJ set at the closing party a little later

LOCH LOMAND
The NRLA at the Arches, Saturday the 12th. for some strange reason i have not been able to get a good nite sleep. i usually never suffer such intense jet lag. my sleep friday night was the best so far, but still underwhelming. There is a lot to report about being at the new moves festival, but i'm not in a very clear space, so please bear daddy with me. Saturday's highlight was a nice lecture/discussion between franko and ron athey that was packed to the high rafters and was very exciting. Ron was his regular fatherly self charming and delighting and he and franko are such brothers that their interaction was very cute together and a lot of issues were raised. Ron really articulated the NEA scandal and his latest with the UCLA class he taught that has become an international cause celebre. everyone here in europe seemed to know about it. of course i almost missed it because the queue was so long at the door. also loved a peace from the art collective Breath where you enter this tiny environment and are presented with a gift of wondermint. of course my tall lady self didn't quite fit in the pitch tent, and my arthritic kneebows started to ache, but sometimes you just have to give yourself up to the art process.
saw two dance pieces one by Jerome Bell who is very popular--was packed. i loved some of the movements and the naked man in the piece had a very powerful built, but with my lack of sleep i just couldn't handle something that methodical. it was lulling me into a deep sleep. and the space wasn't the best for what was being presented.
Michele Murray's dance company was too schitzo for me. one black dancer had the worst body i've ever seen on a black person. no butt and skinny shriveled legs, and he had major bitch titties. is he taking hormones? and then there was a pony tail queen, i wanted to cut that thing off. some of the girls had interesting faces but with this particular piece either be completely avant garde like jerome bell and remake the vocabulary or stick to those stuccato modern dance moves of yore. you can't mix and match. it doesn't work, oh and the music---modern music like the chemical brothers and techno crap-----snore city. there shouldn't have been any music like mr. bell's piece. also saw some cute video installations and a humourous sound installation with a nelly boy going through a strange lament. monday i'm off for london. hooboostooboo

YOU TAKE THE HIGH ROAD
i'm at an internet cafe on st. vicente's street. took a long walk around the city center so that i could see some other people besides artists, presenters and that ilken. lots of very tall ginger boys and bubble butt pale skinned beauties. how i'm going to lure them in to my sex net is another story. . .
Franko was warning me the other day that on the weekends i'd better beware of the hooligans who like attacking ladymen who are bigger then them, becuase it gives them credibility as a street thugette. so far i haven't run into that but i still have a few days to go.
on the first day franko presented a beautifully stunning piece called "Still life" with his living bleeding body situated on a glow warm bed of angel light. the crowd was mesmerized---that franko is a genius at creating an engrossing and powerfully laden image. my favorite part was his re-positioning from repose to doggie then papusa style and then he gracefully walked away with leaving an invisible gown trail.
yesterday i took part in kira's piece which is a one-on-one. you're given a scalpel to mark her body with. very brave of her to share herself in this way. i didn't mutilate her but just gave her pounds and pounds of love affection and gifts, and sang to her. a very sweet exchange. i'm always inspired by miss kira.
i have to return to the hotel and get ready for today's events so i'll come back and write down some more thoughtas later. forgive my spelling and grammer but i just can't get that part of this writing process together.
kalema kalesh!

MY ONE AND ONLY HIGHLAND FLING
Been in Glasgow now for three days---what a whirl! my plane from los ang had elderly ingenue Selma Blair with Guy Oseary of madge's maverick label. i didn't know they were an item.
cute colin-richardson-webb, the NRLA general mgr picked me up from the aeroport. on my plane was the grand madame of performance, the one and only linda m. montano, along with dapper art critic Robert Airs. i worship ms. montano. my movie costumer girlfriend Crepe Suzette worked with her during her Red period of living art. linda is a treasure and so dear. What a highlight meeting her and riding in the taxi to our hotel ibis, which is a little low rent, but i have a nice shower and full sized bed, so i'm not complaining, plus there is a free breakfast, and since i'm low on funds i have to stuff myself and make it last all day.
Franko B. and Ron are already here plus Franko's beau, adorable kristofer who is now sporting a full head of lush hair, super post modern intellect Dominic Johnson, handsome Manuel Vason, and the delightfully stunning beauty that is Kira O'Reilly. Daddy Athey takes me to tea at the famous Willow Tea room designed by famed architec CR Mackintosh. Mackintosh is a fluffier architectual version of Frank Lloyd Wright. We were served by a nice potato apple doll lady and her tight bodied young son with peaches n cream complexion. The NRLA at the Arches across fromt he grand central train station is wonderous. Imagine, a performance event held in a catacombe. The new moves festival is like a performance art convention. its unlike anything i've ever been a part of. its a little on the dry side, but i'm enjoying reuniting with people i've met in the euro performance art scene. linda montano's cute editor of her new book Jenny Klein is like a baby Annie Sprinkle with red bright hair and pre-raphelite skin. We've really hit it off and i love how she takes care of Linda. She teaches at a university in Ohio and wants to bring me out there. i love ohio and those kornfed boys and appalachian hill jacks. one of the performance installations i see is from anne seagrave of france who has a tight male-ish body, like a wound, like a gash, a mixture of hannah from osseaus labrynth with a little bit of la ribot thrown in for good measurita. i liked Canadian Alexis o'hara. she was cute and bubbly in that Canuck fashion i cherish. her piece started off really strong, then veered into laurie anderson as stand-up commedienne territory. of course i was exhausted from my lack of sleep and inability to adjust to the time change, so my meter for everything was a bit off.

met festival director nikki milican who reminds me of hanna hurtzig from berlin's volksbrunner. all the artists are big networking queens, i don't get any sexual vibes from them, so i don't think i'll be getting my proverbial gnut in this city. i had no idea there would be so many presenters, programmers, festival directors and the like in attendance.

The audience is made up mostly of other artists, students and academes, not exactly crossover appeal. just preaching to the subflirted. my arthritis is kicking into high gear, so i'm going to have to continue this report later. hiyawatha!

SIMPLE MAN

THE NOMI SONG, MORE THEN A MOVIE FOR LITTLE GIRLY BOYS GROWING UP

As a young F.I.T. (Fag-In-Training) one of the most cherished, hallowed, inspirational moments that flushed throughout my entire late 1970's being, occured while watching Saturday Night Live. I usually went to bed around 9:30 whether it was a school night or not, since I was a devout member of the Jehovah's Witness sect, and arose early Sunday mornings for proselatyzing door-to-door and on the highways and byways of my South Central Los Angeles neighborhood.

David Bowie however was making a well publicized, rare appearance on SNL, and though i wasn't a big fan of his, i was curious how he’d look on our ancient Emerson black&white monitor, with the limited reception factor of only being able to view channels 4, 5 and 7.

According to negro urban legend of the period, the freaky Bowie had recently emerged from the hospital with his stomach pumped because of swallowing a pint load of Rod Stewart's ejaculate. My mother was already sound asleep so i crept into the living room and kept the sound down low to watch the ensuing brouhaha unfold. To my utter amazement la Bowie in a copycat Tristan Zara was flanked by two exotic looking men in elaborate make-up wearing dour frocks. One of the men i recognized from the LA local disco scene that centered around the Circus and Ginos II dance clubs. On Bowie’s left the popular Chicano queen Joey Arias who had made a name for himself by moving to New York, and was working at the uber trendy clothing hot spot Fiorucci.

The other back-up singer on Bowie’s right really caught my youthful eye. His robotlike movements and high C Susie singing voice made him much more compelling to me then Bowie, who was already at that time a huge international star. The next day after field service and theocratic ministry school I made it a point to call some pen pals of mine who lived in New York and milk them for information. My two Manhattan friends were infamous teenage boy sluts who were familiar with Klaus Nomi, but knew very little about him other then his name. The damage was already done. Soon i would be living full-time in drag in Hollywood, leaving behind my religious life and becoming immersed in the disco, punk and new wave scenes.

So what a revelation that at last there is a documentary film about the legendary Klaus Nomi. "The Nomi Song" a beautiful and compelling film by Andrew Horn, an American who has lived for decades in Berlin Germany. A country that Nomi left in 1974 to seek fame and fortune in New York City. And a country that I am desperately trying to leave Los Angeles for.

Klaus Nomi---the ultimate misnomer of the downtown New York demimonde. This film while keeping the mystery of Klaus Nomi intact is also able expand on the Nomi mythology. I'm certainly not the first fey boy to be influenced by Nomi's well crafted image. I certainly wished I had his singing skills and chops. When he made his debut appearance in a New Wave Vaudeville Review it became one of those defining moments that cemented an emerging art movement. Klaus Nomi was born camera ready for the MTV video era. Before I made a feeble attempt to move to New York in the early 80s, Nomi was on the verge of a global takeover, then suddenly he became one of the first well known artists to succomb to the ravages of Mrs. A.I.D.S. then only known as the gay cancer.

This extroidinary documentary does capture an exciting period with some never before seen archival footage and devastingly lovely, poignent moments. I never met Klaus Nomi but he is certainly one of my idols and outsider art forefathers. I wish I had a chance to experience his magic first hand, but perhaps its just as well that years later I’ve become friends with many who were a major part of his life, like the divine Ann Magnusen or the immensely talented Kristian Hoffman whose career in The Mumps, The Contortions and The Swinging Madisons I followed faithfully, and who I had a major crush on. I knew Hoffman worked with Klaus Nomi but I didn’t know that Kristian wrote some of Klaus Nomi’s songs and in true record industry fashion was ripped off by never being paid for them.

The Demon of Endor spirit that was Klaus Nomi lives on with a new generation who are now discovering his genius and in performers like Antony and the Johnson’s who are his falsetto singing, operetta children of the corn.

LET THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN
My Carter Family Tribute nite at Bricktops was a smashing success. Thank you Miss Miriam Jacobsen for writing the hot pick of the week blurb. Glen Meadmore introduced a brand new ditty and everyone in attendance was feeling very open and randy. Lots of juicy underground stars, the best the world has to offer in the form of the legendary rock goddess Miss Jayne County, who is in town looking delicious, and will be DJ-ing a fierce set at Club Screwball at the Parlour on Tuesday. Screwball is Prickle's nite with Don Bolles of the Germs and his lady faire, Darcy Leonard. That should be really hot. Too bad i'll be in the UK performing in Glasgow, Scotland for the National Review of Live Art's New Moves Festival, then on to London where i'll lecture/screen some of my trespass cinema collection at the prestigious Courtauld Institute of Art. I'm so god damn highbrow i don't know what to do with myself.

While I'm away various guests will take over in the hosting department so check the web page under New/News to see what's up during the rest of the month of February. Lots of great performers like cutie pie Creekbird, La sexie Poubelle Twins and Frankie and Tony who hail all the way from Zurich, Switzerland.
Getting back to Friday at Bricktops. Miss Lydia Lunch, the first lady of harsh was also in attendance. She will be performing a scorching set of material on Feb 24th, at the Parlour so mark that down on your calenderia. Of course all this good stuff happens while I'm away. Abby Travis stopped by looking quite perfecta with new beau, who i fixed her up with. I'm such the matchmaker for everyone but myself. Bryan Rabin was the escort for Ms. County and i love Bryan's handsome man look. Also chainmail designer Michael Schmidt was in the house giving glamour like no one else can. The cities best dressed and most exciting couple, Sasha and Mary were looking very grand ole opry. Everyone loves them, and they know how to properly soak in the allure, splendour and pagentry of dressing up. More people need to take their example of how to properly go on the town.

Bricky regulars Shauna Leone, Ming Ma and shirtless Jon Quale were also looking very stylish and elegant.

It was also nice to see Ricky Castro, the co-director of Hustler White with Bruce La Bruce, and his own Plushy/Furry film. Rick has a new photo book out that is graceful and beautiful,published by Mark Harvey. Rick and I go way back, and use to collaborate together on so many projects. We both have strong, dominant, forcefull personalities, so unfortunately we cancel each other out, and that makes it difficult to maintain a regular relationship/friendship with him, but its wonderous seeing him occasionally, as he is quite talented. Also in the crowd Ventura legend Dora! of Wilde Planet fame, and Bush Bunny who has been living back in Rhode Island. I can never remember Bush Bunny's real name. I've called him Bush Bunny for over 20 years as he was known to frequent the bushes and shrubs of the various parks in Ventura County cruising for sex. And of course he would wind up arrested---ALOT. He's infamous for having sex up in a tree at weho's blow job park, and falling from the branch as the person he was fellating began to orgasm. I love ole BB he's a good time Sally! It was also dear seeing Michele and Jason of Woodpussy and of course the royal lady of Santa Barbara County Ms. Barbara, aka Mrs. Marilyn Manson. Barbara is such a genuine and graciously divine lady, and she brought an entire bus load of fun loving Santa Barbara supporters of Glen Meadmore, and honey Ms. Meadmore needs and deserves all that love and support, because she is a treasure.

WE OH WE
This emugwai comes from the lovely Claudia Gonson of the Magnetic Fields who is the female husband of Stephin Merritt.

Friends,

I thought I'd send out a general mailing to you all to announce that Stephin Merritt is now a DJ.

With another friend, he co-DJ's an evening of 60's bubblegum and psychedelic music at an East Village bar called the "Clubhouse", Monday nights.

The night is called the "Incredibly Profound Tentacle", and there's a very sweet drink they serve there for $5 called the "Pink Tentacle", which will give you a headache in the morning...

Come by and have some candy!

Clubhouse
Ave C/9th Street
East Village
Monday nights, 9pm on.

with love,
Claudia

HASPEN BROGEL
This little emugt from dapper LA Times Style Editor Guy Trebay:

Vag,
Sorry to miss you this weekend in Los Angeleez (hard G, as in The
Grifters.) The conference thing I was doing turned out to be all day Sat.
at U.S.C., near South Central, place of your nativity. Arrived in driving
rain, was whisked to conference at near dawn and never saw daylight (if you
don't count the sun shining out of Tom Ford's butt--he and I were
officially billed as being in conversation) again until late afternoon, by
which time the city looked as beautiful as I ever saw it, the air scoured
clean, even the San B. mountains visible. Was going to call or try to get
over to Bricktops, but fell dead asleep in my glamorously empty suite at
the Standard downtown, w. its beautiful view of L.A.'s lively population of
ragamuffins and sun scorched trolls.
Next time, I guess. Hope all goes well.
XO
G.

***

Bricktops on Friday was pure loveliness. It was a Stella Dallas party in honor of Barbara Stanwyck and everyone showed up in tacky vintage outfits worth their weight in goldine. The luminous Kitten DeVille filled in for an ailing fishnet floozy, Anna Bells and boy did she show them how one becomes the queen of burlesque! Kitten is one hell of a dazzling performer and sex goddess supreme. And she balances it all with being a Xurbian wife and mother. She does it all!!!! WoW!!!
Also the Whoracle et Delphi made some startling predictions about a Tsunami attacking the west coast soon and another edict that was too much for hostess Madame Bricktops to relay. Perhaps she'll tell it this week. The high falutin celebrity mix included designer Shauna Leone, movement artist supreme Jean Spinosa, intermedia sex worker Zeb, taxi dancer Buttons Sinclair, Del Marquis of Scissor Sisters, Caleb Followill of the Kings of Leon and hunky turkish/german director Fatil Akin of the new super hot movie "Head On".
This week will be a salute to the Carter Family with Canada's favorite son, Glen Meadmore performing.

COUSIN KOUSINE
KISSING COUNSINS
I’m in trouble with the Secretary of State. Yes, thats right. I’ve made fun of her in public by singing some ribald songs about her relationship with President Shrub. Who can forget her classic Freudian slip when she let slip out during and interview calling Dubya , "Her husband" Well she actually called me on the phone asking me very nicely not to mention to the media that we are related. She's already confirmed so i don't understand why it matters now. Who would ever figure out anyway that I’m a not so distant relative of Condi, even though we do look a little alike. But now that she has formally asked me to distance my family connection, I’m going to start talking about it non-stop. Up until now I've been rather nice about it, and black drag queens are rarely nice.

So here it is, la familia "T" for all the world to know: Condolezi Rice is my cousin, and actually she’s my first cousin. Until she got involved with the president she was basically a non sexual dyke. Wound too tight and way too brittle, more so than any brittle blonde i know. Thats why she's remained a lesbian virgen, but she is definitely bumping bush with Mr. Dub. Who I’ve heard from reliable sources doesn’t have a very large penis but does have a giant mushroom headed knob. Both Diane "I Am a Man" Feinstein and Barbara Boxer were too lenient with Condi during the senate hearings, at least Babs challenged her, but not enough for it to count.

THE VOORHEESCYCLE DIARIES

This little emug came to me from hot hunky latin hungthrob Ceasar Vega who is doing his Che' thing and retracing the Guevara steps through South America.

Greetings

Happy Everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My apologies in advance for the length of this message lots to tell,
I´ll try to be brief, as my trip winds down i thought id send some
highlights your way.

PERU
Lima: underwhelming, although in the seven hours i was there i did
manage to find a casino with a huge nativity scene at the front door and then a
restaurant that was showing a soft-core porn soap opera on tv, they also
served chicken soup with corn nuts in it. i guess it wasn´t so bad.

Cusco: truly amazing, beautiful, the people are great but there is noise
polution like crazy, cabbies honk every few yards all day and all
night - i don´t know why.
Coca leaves never tasted so good - really, nothing happens but you do
avoid altitude sickness and i guess thats what happens. Also, the
prostitutes are very short here.

Machu Picchu: YOU ALL HAVE TO GO.

Lake Titicaca: slept in a straw hut on a floating island in the middle
of the lake where the people have no electricity and cook in little clay
stoves - unreal!

Bolivia: Ever wonder where all the trash goes that you see on barges and trucks
all over the world? It all goes to Bolivia, mainly La Paz. The landscape
is amazing but your chances of finding a bar of soap and toilet paper in a
bathroom are much lower than seeing a woman hack apart a roasted pig
with a machete during a bus trip somewhere. This country will make you
appreciate simple pleasures like washing your hands or wiping your ass with
something other than newspaper. Also, I had never seen an entire family pissing in
the street before.

Uruguay: Nice scenery, Montevideo is quiet except for the coked out guy in the
room next door to me that wanted me to help him double team a girl he had in
his bed "she´s pretending she´s asleep but she´s really not" is what he kept
saying, I guess i´m getting old - but at 7AM i needed coffee more than
a 3-way. Really.

ARGENTINA: I love this country, it feels like home - not like LA but comfortable.
I´ve gained about ten pounds since i got here i swear i´m becoming a
vegetarian when i get back home. They are bigger meat eaters here than in Texas,
blood sausage never tasted so good, I know it sounds sick but it is good,
it also looks sick now that i think of it but it tastes good, now that
i´m writing this i realize that the consistency of the blood sausage is also
pretty disgusting but it indeed tastes good, go figure.
This city is busy as fuck, you have european architecture and a pace
that is fast and furious cab drivers run the streets as if every fare was
part of the indy 500 and bus drivers drive as if they were in mini coopers -
lots of bad tattoos everywhere, you can smoke in cabs, restaurants, AND
you can drink while walking down the street, my favorite - LOVE IT!
My shoes were smelly as hell by the time i got here after walking
through mud, rain, Bolivia, etc. and i was a bit tired so the same day i found
one Chinese guy that washed my shoes and another Chinese guy that gave me a
massage, both with Argentinean accents - Thank Buddah (the Chinese are
everywhere) I felt like a new man.
The people are great here, cab drivers know everything about everthing
and are not afraid to tell you why the country is in bad political shape or
let you in on the conspiracy that the Chinese (the yellow giant) have in the
works to change the rate of the earth´s movement around the sun in order
cause "natural" disasters and slowly conquer the world. On the street when
you ask for directions people tell you which way to go so you dont´t get
mugged, you can see plenty of fistfights on the train depending on the
neighborhood you´re going to, its not uncommon to see a guy with his
wife and two kids zooming buy on a motorcycle, and yes lots and lots and
lots of beautiful girls.
CASQUE D'OR
And this from the super smart global editrix Glenn Belverio, I love him so much. He's brilliantine!

HI Doll - it's ok to blog this one....it's about my day today at Kelly Cutrone's office:
I show up at 4:30 sharp at the offices of People's Revolution to meet Australian fashion designers Tsubi (Yes, the ones who released live rats on the runway in Melbourne 4 years ago). The elevator doors open and I step into the room, right into the middle of a camera crew who are filming a very loud jazz-rock ensemble from the Balkans who are performing a few feet away. I timidly sit down next to Kelly Cutrone, the firebrand publicist who owns People's Rev, and when the pounding drums and screaming saxophone stops, suddenly the camera swings in my direction and a boom mic is hanging over my head. "Introduce him", orders a woman holding a clipboard. My brain is completely frozen - it's 10F outside - but I try to take it in stride. "Kelly, what the heck is going on?"

"Oh, E! is shooting a reality show about me producing my shows for fashion week" she says casually and then "THIS is Glenn Belverio, the HOTTEST fashion writer in NY and the world. He writes for the super-snooty Zoo magazine AND he's a Communist!"

"I'm NOT a Communist anymore!" I protest to the camera. "That was LAST year!"

"Oh right, I forgot. You're only a Communist when you're in China", Kelly retorts. Just then the designers from Tsubi wander in and one of them has just stepped on a rusty nail while working on his new store space. Kelly brings him some antiseptic and he runs to the bathroom. The camera crew kicks the door open and starts filming the bleeding barefoot Aussie and Kelly muscles in next to him and delivers her sales pitch "This is Nick from Tsubi, one of Sydney's hottest designers and I'M doing their PR!"

While I'm chatting with the other Tsubi designer, Kelly sweeps toward me with the camera crew in tow and gestures grandly in my direction. "And NOW - Glenn Belverio will interview the designers from Tsubi!"

"What!?" I panic "They're going to FILM me looking at their clothes and muttering 'oh wow, this is great'? What, do you think, I'm going to interview them on camera and make them cry like Barbara Wah-Wah would?!"

"They sick rats on fashion editors and YOU think you can make them cry?" a wise-cracking intern in the corner quips. She reminds me of an 18-yr old version of Birdie in "All About Eve".

"Ok, they won't film it" Kelly decides judiciously. "Hey! The yoga instructor is here! It's time for People's Rev yoga hour! Follow me boys!" And she flies into another room with the camera crew chasing after her.

THE DOUBLE HEADER
Is the name of the oldest gay bar in the country with the same owners, located in Seattle's skid row of Pioneer Square. I love this tavern---it screams history is made at gnight. I'd like to do a Bricktops, Seattle. Of course there wasn't enough time on this particular visit.
Academe Sonnet Retman brought me out to the University of Washington for a lecture series that also involved Robert Lopez of El Vez and The Zeros fame. Robert lives in Seattle and owns his own home. It was nice seeing him after what seems like ages. I haven't been to Seattle since 1996 when the Center of Contemporary Art (CoCa) last brought me out. I use to come almost once a year. Boy has the town changed since the post dot.com crash. I didn't recognize the town. UofW put me up at this cute hotel in the University District called the Watertown. Very modern with cute boys working the front desk.

After my lecture, there was a sweet reception and i chit chatted with a bevy of beaufiful young grad students. Yummy. Later the same evening i presented a juicy selection of my experimental film ouvre at the North West Film Forum. Nice crowd and the managing director is my olde Coca pal Susie Purves, who is as sweet as she can be. I received some good press, in the Seattle Times, The Stranger and even "The Gays" wrote about me.
The tall lanky director of the NW Film Forum was really sexy with his thick eyewear, and so was this young filmmaker boy who was wearing a Russian Babooshka hat
. I didn't have any major romantic escapade, and that was disappointing. Oh welp.
My good dinge queen pal, Jimothy Jones of Zero Hour fame was a wonderful hostessa taking me to the nearbye hamlet of Ballard. Which has become the new boho enclave. Loved the bars and buildings. Jimothy lives in the Queen Anne section of the city and i stayed a two nights with him after being in the hotel. He has a thai roommate and has become a lesbian with two very large cats. Ran into my former Club Sucker partner Dale at the Eagle bar, where i gather he has become the house queen. Dale seems a little sleepless in Seattle, but he looked good. I didn't realize Seattle was such a crystal meth haven. Is Crystal taking over the known world? If i'm going to become a drug mess, I'd better hurry.

O and Jeffreyland Hilberts muscular younger brother Kurt, who use to be a straight frat jock, and is now the belle of the Seattle bar scene. Kurt is a living doll, and supported me by coming to my screening with an entourage of lovely pals.
My time in Seattle ended with a giant country breakfast at a soul food cafe, that Jimothy and his sexy new boyfriend Thomas took me to. Thomas is a professional baseball player and a stud, when he gave me a hug goodbye i got to be wrapped in the strong, secure arms of a real no nonsense masculine man. Boy was it ever exciting and thrilling.

BRISKA/BRASKA
O Bricktops you never fail me girl. Honey child you are the best. Last nights Fred and Adele Astaire celebration was enchanting with a capital Q. The Hobo Jazz Band with Marquis de Gras were incredible. Such a lovely brotherhood of young boys all hailing from the Redlands area of California. I even sang "Shoes with Wings On" with the kids and almost managed to remember the words. Boy i really have Junior alzheimer's. The notables in the crowd included good time sally artist Tulsa Kinney, Richy Rich of the hot New York label Heatherette. I haven't seeen Richy since his days as a NYC klub kid. He's still the fun loving party boyzette, he's always been, and he brought two sweet girls as part of his posse. Mulholland Drive legend Rebekah Del Rio and her hot German girlfriend also partied down until closing. Rebecca is always the sexiest and best dressed in the room. I have to get her to perform again at Bricktops for our Delores Del Rio fiesta. Mr. Uncertain was looking very sharp and classy in top hat and tails. He always cuts a dashing figure, and i can't wait till our reunion in March. We're even going to compose a brand new song for the occasion. Pretty Shauna Leone said she will design me a new dress. She's so talented that i can't wait to wear one of her couture creations. Some adorable visitors came to the club---an elegant young couple who are grad students at the Art Institute and a lively eurasian youth from Missouri.

HEISMAN TROPHY WIFE BOY
Poor naive 21 year old football playing beauty Matt Leinart of USC. He's being used by hunky Nick Lachey as a semen bank in that olde school manner that faggots worked back in the 1970's, which i have to admit is a pretty clever piece of manuevering. Well he has to use that tired blonde big titty wife Jessica Simpson for something, so why not some suddenly last summer style procuring. My spies say that Matt is a true innocent, and never suspected a thing, even when the sex boiled threegy's were reduced down to a same sex duet. Since Nicky has such a hold on the kid he should advice him to stay in school his senior year and not let himself be drafted into the evil NFL, the gayest place on earth for discarding men after they've drained them of their youth and vigor.

***

Bricktops last week was very special with Nomy Lamm the gifted singer, amputee activist and writer performing with her band Tricrotic. They came all the way from San Francisco during the height of that crazy winter storm. Nommy & Co are from Chicago and are touring the country. Her co-horts Marcus Rodgers a handsome F2M plays drums and his girlfriend Erin Daly is on Violin while Nomy sings and plays accordian. They are just brilliant and I'm so glad the Bricktops kids appreciated their winning efforts. Also on hand was Don Bolles of the Germs, his ladylove Darcy Leonard form Club Screwball, Creekbird, Melissa Sexchester, Jedidiah Smith, Shauna Leone, Jean Spinosa, James Medina, Bricktops best dressed couple who are just downright charming Sasha & Mary and the first lady of harsh, the legendary Lydia Lunch.

***

Big Daddy Ron Athey cooked an amazing East Asian meal for me the other night at his Silverlake compound that warmed my heart and pallette. We talked about all the important things in life until the wee hours. My dadster is something else.

YO SOY UNA MUJER PECADORA
My article on Joel Gibb of Canada's Hidden Cameras and The Pretty Things in Zoo Magazine is now on the stands. Zoo Magazine is the new hot fashion glossy edited by the great Rebecca Voight of Dutch. In fact Zoo has risen from the ashes of Dutch. I'm on deadline right at the moment trying to finish my article on Guin Turner and I will write about my recent performances in Slovenia for Zoo, so all i will say about having been to Lubjljana is that i had a marvelous time presenting Visions of Excess. It was a huge success. All the men are tall and everyone speaks English and Italian. Pivo means beer and pobro means good. Oh and Slovenia is the suicide capital of Europe. My entire stay it was grey. Dark grey and light grey but lovely, and very wintery. The event took place at a 16th century castle with an adjacent chapel where Ron Athey and Julianna Snapper performed "The Judas Cradle" I did an excerpt of my new piece "Orifice Descending" with musical accompaniment by the avant garde orchestra BAST. Visions was presented in association with handsome Davide Grassi's arts collective Aksioma and Gallerja Kapelica which is run by Uri, who is the art czar of all the Balkans. The breakout artist of the spectacle were locals Eclipse who created this nasty interactive video game where the joystick is a dildo and you play it with your hatchet pussy. Oh talk about Ms. Packman. I was put up at the Lubjljana equivalent of a boutique hotel called M. Very pleasant and insightful trip, and this is coming from someone who hates to travel, even if i have to because its my job.

***
Bricktops New Year's Eve Courtesan Masked Ball was spectacular of course. Brian Grillo and his Grillo Follies were supurba!!!! Brian is amazing and he had able assist from juicy Abby Travis and that miracle known as Mink Stole. Brian and Mink's Bob Fosse choreography at the end of their set really went over well. I can't wait till Mink does her own night, most likely in February.

Of course i didn't get one kiss the whole evening but i did see Brad Pitt downing some of our holiday concoction Nigg Nogg with his bony wife Jennifer Anus-tin. What were they doing at Bricktops? How did they find out about it?

I guess Gwen Stefani's party wasn't interesting enough for them. My spies who had been invited to Gwen's told me that Brad & Jen never made it, and that Gwen's soiree was filled with Eve Harrington's looking desperately for a Margo.

At Bricktops everyone was dressed to the 8's and 9's. I loved the outfit that hot young white rapper Rye Berg was wearing. He was dressed like a concubine cowpoke and The Ditty Bops also looked really cute. Tom Morello who use to be in Brian's band Lock-up and Rage Against the Machine was helping Brian's brother dispose of props after they were used on stage and Jenny Lens, Augusta & Don Spiro were capturing all the majick on film. Sexy, chubby movie cholo Jacob Vargas(from the new movie The Flight of the Phoenix) and his entourage came expecting a surprise show by Morrissey who told me he wanted to sing some B. Lillie and Gertrude Lawrence songs. Well maybe he'll show up one day this month and do it. Why are Latino men so into Morrissey?

MOCK-DEVOTIONAL ECSTASY
One of Vaginal Davis' all time super heroines died recently, NO not Susan Sontag though i did admire her. I'm talking about the first Colored person to seek a major party nomination for president, and the first negress elected to Congress, where she served for 13 years. Her name was Shirley Chisholme and she was also also one hell of a dagger doddle, having had a lesbiana relationship with comedienne Jackie "Moms" Mabley. Shirley was also married to a couple of men for variety purposes. My favorite Shirley Chisholme quote:

". . .I hae grown to detest many of the white Northern liberals who are always ready with rhetoric about equal opportunity in jobs and education [However] when the time comes to put the heat on, in committee and on the floor, and do something, like passing an amendment or increasing appropriation, too many of these white knights turn up missing,"

My sentiments exactly.

***
go to http://www.camazotz.com/misc/sphere.jpg
for the most scathing film review ever written

***

And this from the great white north via Bruce "Judyline" LaBruce:

did some one leave a cake out in the rain? oy. you think you’ve got problems, ladygod? the whorelydays are really dragging me down, down, down, sucking me out to sea like a tsunami. i just got back from my parents’ farm where I spent three days in too-close proximity to my three witchly sisters. i couldn’t figure out if it was shakespeare, chekhov or woody allen. actually it was kind of like interiors down on the farm. two of them had their pussy whipped mates with them (actually very nice fellows), so there was eight of us crammed into this little snowbound farmhouse breathing down each other’s necks. plus my youngest sister, who suffers from depression, has three or four cats, and she was pet-sitting two dogs and another cat, so it was like a menagerie. you couldn’t be alone for one second of the day. three days seemed like three weeks. there’s no where to go, so we just went snow-shoeing everyday back to the bush. it was so chekhov. we say a snowy owl. my dad is a clint eastwood fanatic and there was a marathon of clint’s movies on tv so it was all clint eastwood all the time. i guess it could have been worse. i was really missing the muslim (Bruce's ex-boyfriend) because he usually sees the humour in those sorts of situations. since the muslim has been gone i’ve been trying to forget my sorrow by getting fucked up a lot on drugs and fucking everything in sight. it’s kind of working. i haven’t even seen Zoo Magazine with joel (lead singer of Toronto's Hidden Cameras) in it yet. check out the next tank magazine for a spread i did recently with the naked boy knitting model i shot for honcho, justus’ ex boyfriend (but we won’t hold that against him.) he’s 20 now, and a little more manly, so they’re pretty hot. this cute argentinian stylist from london flew over and we shot it before xmas. the photos are nice, but i don’t know what tank will end up doing with them. tank is sort of like zoo’s rival i gather. this little stylist’s name was francesco. you would love him. he’s very stylisty, very particular and kind of snobby – you know, like all stylists. normally i don’t like stylists – i only like them when they want to work with me, and make the effort to come to toronto to do it. then i like them. like romain, the french one from tetu. i think i’m going to go to paris in early feb to shoot another tetu spread. i’m going to do a little variation on breathless, which i just watched again up on the farm. when jean seberg looks at belmondo through the rolled up magazine and he’s sitting there with a cigarette and then it jump cuts to a close-up of the two kissing, i cried because it was so beautiful. i do that now. it must be age. i also cried when jean seberg asks the novelist she’s interviewing at orly what his greatest ambition in life is and he says “to become immortal, and then to die”, and jean seberg turns and looks straight into the camera with a really sad face. it’s as if she knew that she would soon be a dead legend. sad sad sad. i love her. so some asshole complained about my website so paypal won’t let me sell my stupid raspberry reich t-shirts anymore. fuckheads. don’t they know art when they see it? do i have to draw them a diagram? heathens. well, buck up for the new year, lady. don’t worry, judy will be coming to town soon. tell me all about the balkans. i’m going to zagreb in a couple of weeks. miss you much. xx x blab

more bruce on bruce:

omigod i must have mad cow. i forgot the best part. ok, so just before i
left for the cruel farm i watched passolini's salo, the perfect christmas
movie. (i'm writing about it and some other obscure dirty movies for
nerve.com.) i watched dusav makavejev's sweet movie as well, which also has
a lot of people shitting and drinking piss and vomiting and stabbing each
other in the genitals. it's sort of like the upbeat version of salo. so then
i go to the farm and on christmas day some genius cable station is playing
the exorcist and i watch about a half an hour of it before i get scared and
have to turn it off. i watch it in the "back kitchen", as we call it, this
room in the farm house that has a wood stove and that is very cozy, but it's
also where my sister is keeping the dogs she is sitting - a fat black lab
and a shitzu mix. so the next day i wake up and the house is in chaos. one
of the dogs has had diarrhea and shits all over the room. also the toilet has
backed up and run over upstairs and no one can find the plunger. and my
father wakes and feels something wet on his face, reaches up and realizes
that he's bleeding profusely from his nose! circle of blood, circle of shit!
it was bizarre. merry christmas! x blab

WEINENDE MANNER
Barbara Young the lovely first and only wife of Marilyn Manson, as far as I'm concerned, cooked a glorious holiday meal for me and Glen Meadmore at her Santa Barbara compound. Glen and Barbara are madly in love with each other, but don't realize it. Hopefully one day . . .

Of course i stuffed myself silly and Barbara's sweet friend from South Afrikan via Mozambique, the Lady Carole, made these delicious bourbon balls that i devoured in an instant. Its nice to leave LA ever so often during the tired Pagan adopted Christian holiday melee.

Bricktops on Friday was very raucaus. Everyone was in a get down 2night kinda mood, for our Pagan/Druid/Wiccan celebration. The buxom burlesque ingenue Penny Starr Junior performed a scintilating salute to Charles Dickens and that divine Princess of Hollywood Pleasant Gehman was the Sugar Rum Fairy. I've known Plez for a million years and she gets younger and younger. I love that she's such a good time Sally.
Famous punk rock photographer Jenny Lens dropped by and is another lady who loves life. She also is looking really good and healthy. Rev Dan of Stella's StrayPop on KXLU popped in with a dapper smile, and Diggie Diamond of Foreskin 500 who just moved to Los Angeles from New York. I also shared a kiss with Canadian art star Marcel Dzuma---boy is he one hot child. I could give him mylast paycheck. Too bad i don't have a paycheck.

GEGEN DIE WAND
Thursday i was the last minute replacement for Extreme Elvis at the UCLA Live John Waters Christmas Party. Hector was my assistant for the day and we arrived at Royce Hall around 2pm beating the traffic and getting the chance to hit all the T-rooms on campus. Lots of lovely boy beauties abounding. Ran into sweet David Pendleton of the UCLA film archives. I adore David, he performs in Mark Simon's The Boyfriend review and speaks a million languages just like my pals Marcu Siegel and Daniela Romana who are living at the moment in East Berlin. In the Sunday Times there was a big article about expats in Berlin and Marcu was an interview source.

My artist liaison at UCLA was a sweet lil girl named Ajna who had a labrador retriever that insisted on sniffing at my cooze. What is it with dogs and my cootchie. Well i guess i should be happy that someone wants to sniff at it. Can someone also explain to me the connection between white people and dogs or just pets in general. My mother use to say that people who cannot handle intimate relationships with other humans become obsessed with animals because an animal will just love you unconditionally where its a bit more complicated dealing with other humanoids. I can barely take care of myself, so i'm not a big fan of pets or children. Sorry.

The UCLA event was cute. I found out that this Extreme Elvis characters is kindof GG Allin like, throwing his feces about and doing enemas on stage, so thats probably why i got the gig. Soundcheck went well, but then at showtime my backing CD was having trouble playing. Good thing i was able to establish a good rapport with the audience, so i recovered somewhat nicely. And they make union wages at UCLA?

Producing John Waters Christmas special is Ian Brennan who is the fiance of Lysa Flores who is in Alice Bags band Stay at Home Bomb. I had a nice time chatting and hanging with Phranc, the famed Jewish Lesbian folksinger and cardboard cobbler who had a bunch of nifty products for sell including her handmade cardboard tighty whitey, bra, & panty christmas decorations plus some of her collectors item CD's and records. I can't wait till Phranc performs at Bricktops doing her Gertrude Stein salute Phranc-n-Stein. its going to be amazing. I also enjoyed the comedy stylings of the very sexy Marga Gomez. She's really adorable. Flirted with a lot of cute coeds and grabbed some bountiful packages. I was wearing my haute couture Alexander McQueen holiday dress and everyone wanted a picture with me. Got to rub shoulders with Water's alumni Adrian Grenier(Cecile B. Demented) Matthew Lilliard (Serial Mom) Brendan Sexton III(Pecker) Ricki Lake looking beautiful without any make-up with her hunky new beau Apollo a big dicked Rican. Thank god she got rid of that user husband Rob Sussman or whatever his name was, who never had a job. Ricki told me that i was soooo right about him. Always listen to Ms. Davis. Mink Stole was with Dennis Christopher and they both were shining like platinum. Mink will be performing as part of the Grillo Follies at my New Year's Eve Spectacular. Mr. Waters was hilarious of course. He was dressed really nicely in crush velvet and wickle picker shoes. That man can make a dead dog laugh.

The next night was Bricktops. Richard Halperin, Mr. Tin Pan Alley was performing a salute to Al Jolsen. Boy can Richard belt and croon. What a major talent. We started the show pretty late as it looked like very few people were going to show up. Then suddenly out of nowhere it was jam packed.

It was great seeing burlesque goddesses Penny Starr Jr and from NYC Dirty Martini plus the Hobo Jazz Man who took thank god, took that nose ring out. He's so handsome he doesn't need modern prim affectations. It was also a pleasure to welcome the most stylish couple who come to Bricktops Miss Mary Pagone and Sasha Fuentes. Their outfits always match and are pure genius. I also love Melissa Sexchester, Jean Spinosa, Swedish designer Morgan Olsen and Shauna Leone who never fail to excite the crowd with their socialite graces.

John Waters graced us with his presense for a moment before he had to whisk off to his next gig. Casey Afflect and that horndoggy Alexander Payne of the wine movie Sidelines or whatever its called were arguing loudly at the bar but the real rebel rousers were the rockstar contingent of Alex Kapranos, NIck McCarthey of Franz Ferdinand and Brandon Flowers the singer of the Killers. They arrived drunk, and left even drunker. Thats so Bricktops folks.

Today I want to go see the new Almodovar film and then run around with last minute errands because I'm off to the Balkans for Visions of Excess. Everyone is converging at the castle in Lubljana. I can't wait to hang out with the NSK avant garde.

LITTLE JUDY KELLY
These ramblings from our favorit Canuck, Bruce "Judy" LaBruce:

oh yeah, i saw the Galiano thing in tetu. he totally ruined the tony ward hustler white look. added mucklucks and chains and his cowboy hat was too big and new looking – he made him look like
a faggot eskimo cowboy.

i’m sure you look glamorous, like jeremiah johnson. i dunno. i’m all confused about the muslim now. i vaseline between getting all emotional and torn up that he’s leaving and kind of thinking that it might be all for the best. he definitely has to go back and sort out his destiny and her child. ah well. you know me. i’m like you. a loner with a boner.
ha ya here comes the gay divorce. i saw him on tv getting married or something too! he’s always been soooo politically correct. get this. scott thompson is making a reality show for canadian tv about gay marriage. he finds gay and bulldagger couples who want to marry and sort of acts as the wedding planner. it’s really bizarre. he says all the couples are totally dysfunctional and their families usually hate them. figures. xxxxxxxx blab

kisses

RASPBERRY TRETREICT
It has emerged that the brains of three leading members of the urban
guerrilla group, the Red Army Faction, including its leader, Andreas Baader,
have disappeared after being preserved for scientific research.
The ghoulish revelation comes just days after the daughters of Ulrike
Meinhof, another of the revolutionaries, finally won permission to have her
brain returned for burial.Her brain was also held after her suicide in jail in 1976.
The group, also known as the Baader-Meinhof Gang, began a campaign of
political killings and kidnappings of senior business leaders in the 1970s
aimed at overthrowing the state.Theft possible The leading news magazine, Der Spiegel, now reports that the organs of the three members were removed for scientific research in the 1970s, only to disappear.
The three, Andreas Baader, Gudrun Ensslin and Jan-Carl Raspe, killed
themselves in jail in 1977, after first a kidnapping, then a jet hijacking
failed to secure their release.

Richard Meyermann, head of the Neurological Research Institute of Tuebingen
University where the tests were done, is quoted as saying he could not
account for the disappearance of the organs. They might have been moved to make way for other objects and then finally burned, he said, but he could not rule out theft.
Meinhof damaged It emerged last week that tests on Ulrike Meinhof's brain soon after her death cast doubt on her fitness to stand trial.
The investigation showed indications of brain damage resulting from an
earlier operation. But the latest revelations indicate the authorities had a morbid fascination with the revolutionary killers and the motives for their violent campaign. It emerged recently that an unauthorised death mask of Andreas Baader had
been made by one of the medical team.The news comes amid concerns that a series of films about the violent 1970s have portrayed the killers as pop icons.

LADY BE GOOD
This little emug sent to me from the great Bruce "Judy" LaBruce of LaCanada in Toronto.

you sound like mary beth hurt in interiors. wait a minute. you are mary beth hurt in interiors. no i don’t know about the other designer who did a bruce labruce hustler white collection. who might that be? i can’t keep track of everyone who rips me off – er, i mean pays homage to me. i just got back from berlin and stockholm. in berlin i ate bad sushi and just barely got accomplished what i needed to. in stockholm i was on the jury for the international film festival. i saw about 18 features and 14 short films in a week. it was fun, more or less. some astoundingly bad films, but some really good ones too. we gave the top prize to a french film called l’innocence, directed by gaspar noe’s girlfriend, about a very strict, bizarre ballet school for little girls. it was macabre. we gave a special mention to another french film called l’esquive, about muslim teenagers in the suburbs of paris who put on a play. the kids are incredibly sexy. we gave the best short to a godard/passolini type anti-american manifesto from haiti called the gospel of the creole pig. i’m back in toronto now, and dealing with the sadness of the muslim moving back to africa again on december 9th. there is a piece about my relationship with him on nerve.com, and another one in the new blackbook. i have a retrospective in zagreb, croatia at the end of january, and i’m going to the mar del plate international film festival in argentina in march. then i will probably be coming to la to shoot gangbangers. i may come in january for some meetings. how are you doing, dolly lamb? x b

LE ROI DE COEUR
John Drew Barrymore aka John Barrymore Jr. died. He is the father of the actress Drew Barrymore, and i lived next door to him in the 80s at the famous Villa Rosa Apartment building on Sunset at OrangeGrove Avenue. He was a very bizarre man, who at one time had a group of deathrock junkies living with him who turned his apartment into a pigblanket. I have to admit that i do have fond memories of that particular building. i use to run the Hag Gallery out of that apartment. My opening parties were legendary. Everyone scored a hot thrombone at those infamous gatherings,everyone except the hostessa. What else is new?

APICHATPONG WEERASETHANKUL
Had a lovely Vegan Thanksgiving feasta at Andrew of Gould and Lenny, the young elder's Los Feliz compound. Lastyear was spent out of town with a large group, which was nice, but this year i wanted something a bit quieter and low key. Handsome Mario Diaz of Hot Dog fame was one of the guests, and it was pleasant spending time with the hunky clubland kingpin. Its always a treat to see someone that you may have a preconceived notion about in a different setting and find out just what sort of animal they truelly are. Mario is as charming and thoughtful as he is pleasing to the eye.

Bricktops anniversary party was a sterling success. Where do all those cute boys come from? Latino Fan Club photog Dino Dinco brought along a delicious pack of juicies, and the fun loving bicycle riding collective the Whirley Girls certainly added to the festivities. It was nice seeing regulars Danielle and Xochi mixing it up with TV presenter Josh Kun, LA photography royal Ann Summa with journalista husband Jeff Spurrier. Visiting NYU academe Jose Munoz, Javier Peres of Peres Projects Gallery, Swedish designer Morgan Olsen,German soccer star Landon Donavan and the radiantly beautiful young french actor Gaspard Ulliel, who stars in the new Jean-Pierre Jeanet film "A Very Long Engagement". When i was last in Paris i had dinner at Jean-Pierre's gorgeous apartment in a private street not far from the Moulin Rouge. I got to pick up and kiss the Alien monster model.

Fishnet Floozy Anna Bells who is the grandaughter of movie musical star Mitzi Gaynor performed a saucy burlesque number. Englands The Boyfriend sang and showed off their bounty packages and UCLA art historian Robert Summers gave a sexy lecture on Leni Refenstahl, the theme of the anniversary party. Got to meet sweet Rebecca Epstein, the calender editor at City Beat Magazine, who wrote a very well written profile on Bricktops with a giant picture of Madame Bricktop. Wow!!!

o and our taxi dancers had everyone gagging on their lovely extravaganza. Summer Peaches along with Jason El Norte and new boy dancer Buttons Sinclair who has a killer smile and nice tight buttocks. I can't fail to mention Jorge Garcia Bernal who was our bathtub gin baby, divinely soaking in it.

IRMA VEP
I ran into Mike Ness of Social Distortion. He looks great. He's aged in a handsome man kind of way. He said he'll be performing at the Wiltern Theatre soon. He's married now with a few kids, but still lives in Orange County . . .i think in Fullerton. Boy do i go back with him. I remember one New Year's Eve party at the 666 Ariana on Wilshire and Vermont, i had such the hots for that boy, he was one sizzling little pud of a punk beauty in his heydey. I'll never forget that particular New Year's Eve Party. Stella of Stray Pop was DJ-ing and my Afro Sister "Pop-That-Cherry" Jefferson was making out with Norwood of Fishbone on the dance floor. Literally he was humping her in the center of the dance floor. Cherry's daughter Mira Bai was only 14 at the time and was swapping saliva with one of my cute protege's Alfie Botello who was only 15 and going to that Jesuit High School Loyola. Early in the evening i had a brief flirtation with Mike which made me think that when the midnight hour commensed we'd be locking esophaguses, but who should wind up cock blocking me, other then that fugly Sean DeLear. The most gorgeous boy in the punk scene Mike Ness is all over that SeanD creature. Yuck! In Mike's defense he was probably so high on heroin that he most likely mistook her for me. When you're in drug deluse adaise, all us black queens look the same.

MIDNIGHT LACE
Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibitions or LACE for short is hiring a new director. I had no idea they had a budget of $500,000. What do they spend it on? Their art shows are lame, and they don't do performances anymore. They should have never moved to Hollywood Blvd. The space downtown on Industrial Street was fantastic. Just my penny dreadful gripe i had to let out.

WINDOW OF BEAUTY
Had a nice studio visit from Brian Grillo of Extra Fancy and Lock-Up Fame. Brian is going to design the sets and perform at Bricktops for our New Year's Eve Courtesan Masked Ball. He will be doing a version of his famed Grillo's Follies and will feature guests Abby Travis, and hopefully the John Waters legend Mink Stole. It should be a spectaculr event.

Both P.J. Harvey and Morrissey have contacted me and want to do surprise shows at Bricktops. Of course they could do whatever they want, but both are interested in singing 1920's songs. Ms. Harvey would like to do a Beatrice Lillie night and Mr. Morrissey a salute to Noel Coward which would be perfect for him now that he is of settled age.

I'm going to ask Donita Sparks of L7 to do some kind of performance as well. This week for our anniversary party Beck my sing a couple of songs in yiddish. O and the Green Day boys want to fullfill their promise to me and perform or do some kind of slapstick comedy routine. Miss Bricktops is forming a life of her own.

o and another cute emug from STH's Billy Miller in New York:

Dear Dearest,

hayro.
you're a goin' to Slovenia?
good luck with that and with your movie project.
am starting another 20s compilation which i will send ya when it's complete.
my life these days is much less glamorous but i have been trying to make a lot of art werk.went to a party the other nite for a soon-to-be-released doc. about the early 70s pop star Jobriath.the directors of which were nice but didn't seem to know thier stuff too much as they told me they found out about him a couple years ago and then claimed that 1.) David Bowie got everything from him (even though Jobie came out several years after Ziggy Stardust?) and that 2.) he was the first androgenous and openly "gay" rock star (what about Little Richard for one?)met Jayne County there and we spoke about glam rock etc.she said that she was impressed by my knowledge of music (i think she said that coz i basically just agreed with everything she said) and she gave me a CD and 45 of her music that she just 'happened' to have a few of in her bag.
i'm also starting work on a new STH now that my Jersey City homeboy Mike (the Polka King) has become a rich white lady since both his parents have passed recently and left him a house and a bunch of money (he's gonna pay for the printing.)
he used to be more adventurous but now is sort of afraid to leave Hudson County (which comprises the 3 towns around here.)
i find that difficult to deal with, but i love him still.
as i do you.

respectfully yours,

-bmx

DAS BLAUE LICHT
Stopped for a quick drink at the Spotlight and ran into some Silverlake 40 pals who bought me a gaggle of whiskey sours. Wonderful time had by all. Some bloated ruddy faced hustler tried to pick me up, nothing he said made any sense.

Sunday morning hangover. Had to get up early for my job as a radio presenter for NPR doing a walking tour of Hollywood Blvd. Cute Ben Adair and Queena Sok Kim joined me as i proceeded to run my mouth non-stop. Freezing cold. Lots of eye candy at the Farmers Market, especially the hot dads. Interviewed Michael Lucid, one of the Pretty Things.

Later ran into sexy big peniled Dave Gomez of Slowrider. Dave use to work at Epitaph Records and was Beck's bass player. Now he's working at Amoeba Records.

Monday morning i interview gorgeous Guin Turner, the lesbian icon for Zoo Magazine. She is the best interview subject EVAH! Invited to an amazing meal of mexican meatloaf by Hector and Ericla--delicious.

Hot gossip-Colin Farrell during the filming of Toll Both was plowing both Britney Spears and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Ms. Love-Hewitt wanted to retain her so called virginity so she would only allow Mr. Farrells ultra large Irish endowment to enter her sphincter. The filthy Love-Hewitt had a few too many mud slides which left the peter of the matinee idol a nice murky shade of brown. The next day when he was plugging Britney, our sex piggy Colin didn't even bother to bathe and proceeded to place his member inside her sugar walls, fudge and all.

Just remember you didn't hear it from me.

LIFE UPON THE WICKED STAGE
Had a precious luncheon date with art historian Robert Summers. He and his boyfriend/photog Matt Lipps, are just too delicious for words. I'm going to sexually art direct their lives, by first making Matt have wild sex with my Bricktops taxi dancer Summer Peaches. Matt is gorgeous with a stunning face, body and endowment and before Autumn's end I'm going to have him locked up in a four star hotel with Miss Peaches and his boyfriend will have to watch as they fornicate.

I also love one of Robert's students Jason from Jerusalem, an extremely bright, perceptive and sexually voracious young grad student from Israel. This Jason boy is proof that Jews are indeed, god's chosen people.

***

Was taken to brunchina by hunky Cesar Vega. We left around 12:30 to eat downtown, and somehow bru lasted several hours. We wound up in the main bar at the Biltmore Hotel where he was downing martini's and i was chugging blended whiskey sours. Cesar is going to go on a monthlong motorcycle diary jaunt retracing Ernesto "Che" Guevara's steps in South America. Now thats exciting!

Whenever I'm with Cesar i wind up telling him stories of my million year old life. Somehow first jobs came up and relayed to him how at age 8 my first dabble with employment was working around the corner from my apartment on Pico and Hobart for this 50 something black man name JB who had me seperating nails and screws in his workroom/garage. This little task took me all day and all i managed to earn was 50 cents. I guess thats not bad money for a child in the 1970s. JB was a dirty old geezer who had a 15 year old big peniled Puerto Rican concubine living with him named Roger Sanchez. Roger's 14 year old girlfriend from Costa Rica had the perfect screen star name of Zeidy Ballar. Zeidy and her younger sister attended the all girls parochial school Bishop Canady. Girls at that school were called Pico Pick-ups. I still remember how shocked i was when my mother who knew all the gossip in the neighborhood told me in a matter-of-fact manner, that not only was JB sleeping with Roger, but Zeidy, Anabelle, and Roger's father. I did witness JB propositioning my older sister Teresa Ray, who was 18 at the time and not exactly a knockout, with her crooked teeth and popping out thyroid eye condition. Funny, he was never inappropriate with me. Now that I think about it, I'm kindof offended.

Friday at Bricktops it was our Jerome Kern, Till The Clouds Roll Bye celebration. Kristian Hoffman the no wave legend who was in the great bands, The Mumps, The Swinging Madisons and a million others performed a delicious set of Jerome Kern songs, "Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man, Smoke Gets in Your Eyes and one I'd never heard of that was liltingly beautiful. We then dueted on "I Won't Dance" Kristian's accompanyist Linda Good lives in the Little Ethiopia section of LA Between Pico and Olympic off of Fairyfax. Linda is a very talented and sweet girl that works with Stew and the band, The Negro Problem.

Seen drinking and living it up in a grand manner, the juicy Gwen Kahn of the Pandora's fame. Gwen is also the granddaughter of songwriting legend Gus Kahn. Designer Michael Schmidt was his usual dapper self along with Dame Darcy, the illustrious Tommy Gear of the Screamers, film editor Billy Rich, Iranian tranny temptress Parisol whose been hooking in NYC, a low key Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin. Who's minding that damn baby Apple?
My new cute protege and Otis graphic arts student James Medina, UCLA post docker Jason of Jerusalem, and Sloan Ranger British socialite Edward Van Cetsom who was macking on me one minute and Google founder Sergey Brin, the next.

BUTCH WITHOUT SUNDANCE
The butch in the equation is Pat Kingsley, the uber careerist dyke honcho of PMK/HBH PR firm. Sundance is my gal pal Leslee Dart, who got the ax after 23 years of diligent service to the spinmeistering of the stars like ditzy Nicole Kidman, Woody Allen, Wes Anderson and that queeny horror Scott Rudin. For some reason i can get along with power bitches. We don't require the same kind of attention so there's no cancelling each other out. I never click with gay men, only straight women, diesels and fruit flies(straight men) I always wind up in intense romantic friendships with sexist pigs---the kind of men you wouldn't even expect I'd be acquainted with. Well Ms. Davis has always been a misnomer.

Filmed a little short yesterday with Margaret Cho and Jackie Beat. Not the kind of thing I usually do, but i haven't worked with Goddess Cho since our tour and it was great to see her again. Her house in the Montrose Hills is gorgeous from 1928. She and her husband Rev. Al of the Cacophoney Society have the place filled with all sorts of macabre art objects. My fav is the giant aborted fetus complete with unbiblical cord.

NOTE TO SELF: I can't give my time to any more film projects that aren't my own. Its just too taxing, so all you auteurs PLEASE don't ask me to be in your movie. I'm not exactly a gainfully employed superstar, so i can only afford to take on lucrative paid gigs and assignments.

In the words of the immortal Nastassia Kinski, "I'm not feeling very well".

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NANCY GOES TO FRIO
This just in from The Lady Bunny of Wigstock fame:

What is up with these CNN newscasters? Besides the obvious (they don't
report the news and even apologized like the New York Times for not
questioning the war in Iraq more) they are really having an image crisis.
Increasingly good-looking with capped teeth, newscasters smile too much and
every guest, even if they are a CNN staff member is thanked heartily after
their interview. Isn't that a fairly new development? Are they trying to
hide the ugly truth with an everything-is-great attitude? Carlos Watson has
the most dazzling smile of all. His new show which kicked off right before
the election? It's called OFF-TOPIC, and he interviews Heidi Klum and Shaq.
What a great time to go "off-topic" and divert attention from the tragedy of
the election unfolding. For chrissakes, even Aaron Brown has gotten the new
blue-white chompers put in. They look ok on Tweety-Bird impersonator Paula
Zahn, but show-bizzy teeth caps in Aaron's friendly potato face look
bizarre. And I'm certainly no prude, but aren't false eyelashes (Kimberly
Guilfoyle Newsome) and lip gloss (Kelly Wallace) a bit much for NEWSCASTERS?
Come on, I'm a drag queen so I know good and well that trends in cosmetics
may come and go but lip gloss clearly signifies "place dick here" or "my
lips, like my pussy, is moist". (On the other hand, for some inexplicable
reason CNN broke with their own beauty trend when they sent poor moose-like
Candy Crowley on the campaign trail with no make-up artist! And if anyone
could use a little help, it's Candy.)

Their newest golden boy is Rick Sanchez. I've always marvelled at former
golden boy Bill Hemmer, whose inane chatter strikes me as preposterous. Eg:
After the lovely Soledad O'Brien covered a story about Egyptian artifacts,
Bill cheerily chimed in with "Good history, Soledad." Why makes it good or
bad--it's history, you dunce! But Bill's dizzy homecoming king personality
is infinitely preferable to Rick Sanchez's sugar-coated conservative bias
which is driven home with the most emphatic, showboatin' hand and arm
movements I've ever seen on anyone reporting outside of a sports segment.
Rick must resonate with their (increasingly conservative?) audience since
his career is on the rise, filling in for Paula and making more and more
frequent appearances. He often interrupts guests, and he's chock full of
those bullshit "in as much as" and "in point of fact" corny, archaic
interjections which lead you to believe that he is very much in love with
the sound of his own voice. He's so desperate attempt to act "newscaster-y",
I wonder if he can even listen to the guests he engages in debates with?
(His last name indicates Spanish roots. Is he so desperate to honkify
himself that he is overdoing it?) Plenty of slang, too, to make it all
conversational and accessible--to morons!

And impartiality, formerly a hallmark of newscasting? Forget it! Two young
guys, just back from Iraq, were being interviewed by Rick, and were
describing the rampant anti-American sentiment there. Sanchez buts in with
"Well, we don't really like hearing that when we are over there trying to
free 'em." We're not trying to "free 'em", hon, we're trying to occupy them
so we can steal their oil--that's my opinion, anyway. But should HIS opinion
really be broadcast AS NEWS? So you "don't like hearing that". You booked
these guests as authorities on Iraq, and now you don't like hearing the
truth? When discussing Palestine with a guest, the Clinton Barak peace plan
was brought up and Rick interrupted with "I must say it's a pretty good
plan." To whom? To Palestinians? To Israelis? Or to Americans like you who
don't want to hear the truth and don't live there?

Look, I know that news shows are still show-biz and need ratings, etc., but
these trends, on CNN alone--I don't watch much else--are disturbing. Are we
so shallow that we can't even stand to watch a newscaster who isn't
prettified? And we'll put up with rotten reporting as long as the reporters
look good? Give me unglamorous, impartial Walter Cronkite anyday!

COLUMBIA PICTURES AND RASTOR PRESENTS
Hollywood/Broadway royalty came by Bricktops on Friday in the lovely visage of Ms. Wendy Stark Morrissey. Wendy is the west coast editor of Vanity Fair, and she and her sweet gay sidekick came by and we whooped it up drinking and screaming and carrying on. She is a hoot! Her father is the famous producer Ray Stark who produced Babs Streisand in Funny Girl and The Way We Were and countless other Hollywood films. Her grandma is none other then broadway legendina Fanny Brice. We're supposed to do a power lunch and i'll have to beg her to tell me stories of Ms. Brice and the heydey of the great white way. Spanish filmmaker Pedro Almodovar also stopped by with a huge entourage but they mostly stayed in the back boydello smoking lounge. Met a sweet Otis Parsons design student named James Medina. What a booty pie.
Our theme Friday was a salute to Lupe Velez, the Mexican Spitfire. Delores De Muela, the Velvet Hammer's youngest ingenue performed a lovely little number with a pinata. Delores and her boyfriend make such a hot couple. A bunch of steamy, sexy latinos in the audience made for a hot night of salsa and south of the border flavour.

***
Had to leave town AGAIN, to get free editing time for my new experimental film, will be back Thursday in time for Fridays Bricktop with Kristian Hoffman performing. We might do a duet of some sort which I'm sure will be delightful.
My handsome young intern Gleeson sent me an email from a student at Deep Springs College, that wonderful school that hardly anyone knows about. Deep Springs prepares young men of stature and worth for a life of service in the greater Babylonian gorgon. There should be more colleges like Deep Springs. I'm looking forward to exchanging snail mail packets with those magnificent boys.

FIRST MINX
Our second annual Django Reinhardt celebratata came together quite nicely. The parisian musical duo, Cabinet of Curiosities put on a splendid and sophisticated show. Early in the evening there was this big event at the bar with all these unattractive westsiders. You know the Venice/S' Aunt Monica contingentcy. Luckily the 20s music scared most of them away. Someone did request hip-hop, but seemed satisfied when i put on a Joplin rag. It was hard to completely catagorize that early event crowd,so i shouldn't be so mean. So many people who work on the periphery of the entertainment industry complex are so bland and featureless. I certainly don't mind some cute straight boys hanging around for my party,as an all gay audience isn't very interesting or cutting edge anymore.

Being that i am an unrepentant snob, my only requirement is that people be visually stunning----extra gorgeous or extra ugly, doesn't matter just don't be common. And it helps to have an opinion about something . . . ANYTHING.

Photographer Dino Dinco and a cute French pal of his came by to visit. Abby Travis also brought one of her rock star lady friends whose name escapes me at the moment. Regulars Jean Spinosa, Shirtless John Quayle, designer Shauna Leone, Melissa Sexchester, and Don & Augusta were their usual vivacious selves. Mr. Uncertain even stopped by. He's back from his Camel Cigerette tour. I guess he got laid off early.

Later in the evening after 1am Alexis Arquette of the famous Arquette movie star dynasty, and Jackie Beat popped in.

O and Taxi Dancer Summer Peaches brought along a special visiting burlesque queen from Japan named Erotika Bamboo who enchanted everyone with her scintilating personality, and Realm of Senses moves.

Bricktops continues to be the place where love connections are made on a regular basis. Of course everyone has been finding bunkmates but the hostessa, though i have had some sweet little flirtations, including fellatio performed in the DJ booth, so i can't say i've been completely left high and dry.

***

My little Papa Frank Rodriguez took me to dinner at the Thai eatery on Hollywood Blvd called "Hi" that is right next to The Stone(formerly Mugi's) the only 24/17 rice bar in town, where elderly white gentlemen can go and find young Asian boys who are willing to become their subserviant broken blossom concubine.

Frank's hot and sexy boyfriend "P" was of course turning all heads on the street before we entered the restaurant. It felt good being with Frank and "P" as they represent such unabashed and sizzling masculinity. Frank gets more handsome as he ages, and "P" is one of those Irish gingers with perfect porceline skin and a rugged vulnerability that makes you want to get down on your knees and service his every whim. Hanging with them was a blast!!!

THE FELLOWSHIP OF TWINE
Had a little romantic misadventure with a 19 year old student from Whittier, California. What is it about Whittier eh? The boy was a beauty. Lovely peaches and cream complexion and ruby red lips. He looked just like Dino Dinco, the photographer of latin fanclub realness. At first i thought it was Dino because he was affecting a homeboy look. This kid had the sweetest mouth and breath. His kisses were so fresh and languid. And although he was a radiant youth, he wasn't all vanilla extract either. He wanted me to rough him up a bit, which i eagerly complied. I bitch clapped him silly and bit and gnawed all over his body leaving brutal welts and pittance marks. He loved it. I even slugged and kicked him just for good measurely measure. Fun fun fun.

Bricktops Halloween Mae West Sextette Braganza was really energetic. What a great crowd. A cute movie industry titan had his birthday party at the club, so they placed was filled to the rafter early in the evening. There are a lot more straight boys coming to Bricktops, and all the girls are benefiting from all the male action. The first Bricktops baby will be born next year, as a couple met at Bricky's and the girl is preggers.

Penny Starr Junior the ample busomed burlesque beauty put on a little devilish Pas-de-deux and bat dance with the help of the sexy and stacked Darcy Leonard, the hostess of Club Screwball and the imcomparable talents of Amy O'Neill and Nicole Burleson in what they deliciously called DER TANZ DER FLEIDERMAUS. All the men in the audience were aghast at the display of cleave and breastage.

Also St. Salicia Tate the itinerant preacher lady of the gospel and her junior Mormen Elders took to the stage to present "Fornication, No, Theocracy Yes" plus Kim Novak's naughty and gorgeous daugher Nikki Novak of the Fishnet Floozys added more busom to the boost.

Lots of celebs including Bibbe Hansen, Beck's mom, who is sadly leaving LA for New York, along with her husband Sean Carrillo. The Germ's Don Bolles, Augusta, Don Spiro, photographer Matt Lipps, art historian Robert Summers, Pleasant Gehman the princess of Hollywood with Dirty James, the vivacious beauty Jane Cantillon with her twins, movement artist Jean Spinosa, and this hunky unbelievably perfect boy TV actor named Jesse Metcalfe that someone said is in some show on the ABC Network about Desperate Housewifes or some such nonsense. Since i don't have a TV, i wasn't familiar with him, but i was bowled over by his visage.

This just in from my Australian journalist friend now living in Man-Hattan:

you know...I was in a meeting here at the Voice the other day with the Listings Department and I had to explain to them all what a sex-on-premesis venue was. They really didn't understand.

One of the gay boys who works with the team was horrified but then, standard Chelsea Boys are always loathe to admit anything that makes them appear less than squeaky normal.

So, now, I'm reviewing the saunas and bath houses in NYC for the Voice. I mean, I probably won't go to each but I will make sure they're all in the Listings section. They've put in a new box to tick "Click here to find sex on premesis venues in New York City".

And this from my Zoo Magazine editor Rebecca Voight:

Vag,

I know what you mean about glasses. I wonder how far this will go. I can hardly appreciate nouvelle cuisine plate décor anymore!

We had a huge---HUGE profile of Wolfgang in the last Zoo in German. He is good.

I have a DVD player, but I don’t have any time, or I can’t stay awake. That must change.

Gweneviere Turner sounds divine. I really wanted to be a Sarah Lawrence girl, but they didn’t give me a scholarship so I ended up being a Mills girl thanks to a grant from the good old state of California---that was before the Republicans....I like the idea of a Betty Page portrayal. That sounds like a good one to me Vag. I don’t know if that’s exactly what Sandor is thinking about, but it suits me.

At Dutch we have done our way: Emmanuelle Seigner---and right after that she started getting big contracts from YSL and Marc Jacobs. We also did a cover with Vincent Gallo---but that’s understandable---he doesn’t have a publicist and he art directed the shoot himself anyway. It’s not that we want a look up their skirt, it’s just we want to choose the photographer and the stylist...

Viggo Mortensen---ou....That would be great. He has a publishing imprint I read somewhere. You know my personal knowledge of Exene stops at what’s his name---John Doe---her old, old boyfriend and X Co-star. Younger boyfriends always prevail. That’s so true.

Rick Owens made a big fashion statement at the last collections. He marched out with all of his models in a sort of modernist baton twirler formation lineup wearing very, very high stack heel boots and baggy shorts. I’m not sure Anna Wintour was amused. In fact, the room went dead silent. I wonder why?

Sundance. I know what you mean---the festival is where films find distributors. I’m not sure we really care although we’re interested in great films. I always think you can figure out what will get distribution when you see the film, but I’m probably naïve, right? All is Know is we’re late. Is it better to be really early or really late?


R

AIMEZ-VOUS BRAHMS?
I must be one of the few people in the world who still keeps written correspondence with friends around the world the old fashioned way of snail mail and sending little artsy fartsy gift packets. Email is soooo damn impersonultra nate. i use it, but since I'm dega olde fashioned putting pen to paper is my favorite moda de BT Express.
Someone i love exchanging long letters, photos and ephemeral with is Dominic Johnson. Dominic is a mesmerizing young British scholar, teacher and writer. His pieces in the the English arts Magazine Frieze are way above brilliantine. His latest is on the Jack Smith Exhibit at the Lawrence O'Hana Gallery in London. Dominic is also curating a series of lectures at the Cartould(Spelling?) Institute, where i will give a presentation soon. Oh and he did a fantastic interview with Raimund Hoghe for Chroma. Dom is gorgeous with that lovely English peaches and cream complexion, earnest soul ripping eyes, and full drippy lips of vermillion. I can't wait to see him in Lubljana in December for Visions of Excess-Balkans.

ALLES WIRD GUT
O Bricktops you give me such great plea-sure! My Harold Lloyd Cantata was ever so frisky. It seemed like everyone in the club was horny. I got my titties sucked by a hot handsome boy and a beautiful sexy girl at the same time. They were nursing on my breastage, and all while i was DJ-ing. Talk about amberdexterous.
The Ditty Bops ended their October Fest residency with a smashing show that will definately prepare them for their big tour with the Dresden Dolls. The Bops get better and better and the girls voices just glow with resiliency and texture. They are soooo young to have voices that dig so deep inside ones soul. Their hot piano man Greg Masculine was looking especially dapper and sophisticated in his all black-on-black gangster suit.

The internationally known art photographer Wolfgang Tilmans stopped by to see little old me. He has a new show up at the Regens Project Gallery and it opened on Friday, and after his show he had to pay Bricktop a wee visit. I was very much charmed by his deliciousness and those bullet nips i was playing with and teasing. I also got to feel that very firm penile package. When word got out that a big time celeb was in the house all the little boy art whores started cock blocking me, and since i had to DJ i couldn't give Wolfgang all of my attentions, though i certainly wanted to. He is dreamy dreamy dreamy.

Was great to see Miss Jean Spinosa back from the bay area, along with Summer Peaches our taxi dancer, art historian Robert Summers and his photog bick dicked beau Matty Lipps. Don Spiro was looking very chipper and also luscious Nikki Novak of the Fishnet Floozys. Nikki will be performing next week for our Mae West Halloween spectacu along with a special pantomime from Augusta! and Darcy Leonard.

Freddy Berkowitz of Video Ten Productions gave me some copies of his latest DVD release "A Rim with A View" directed by Hans Solo to give out as prizes. I also gave out some Sphicterine which makes your bung whole taste minty fresh. People were loving it. Being the drunkard that i am, i got a little carried away and wound up munching on the garden salad of two young boys right on stage. well a girl sometimes has to get her gnut by any means necessary.