GAZUNK UND GAZINK

I hate going to the KW in speissig Mitte. For some reason I always have trouble finding this museum and the general ickyness of the area doesn’t help matters, but I had to support my Arsenal Inst fur film und Video Kunst and Forum Expanded colleague Uli Ziemons who is also known as the most handsomest young man in all Europa. He curated a special one nite program called NATURE ALL OVER THE DAMN PLACE George Kuchar's Video Diaries. The program included these delicious titles 500 MILLIBARS TO ECSTASY (1989), BIG ONES HURT (1992), ROCKY INTERLUDE (1990), GASTRONOMIC GETAWAY (1991) and OASIS OF THE PHARAOHS (1997).
For those of you not familiar with Gorgeous George Kuchar here is a little bio info: George Kuchar, one of the most prolific exponents of the American Underground Cinema, produced an œuvre of more than 250 videos from 1985 until his untimely death in 2011. Kuchar became known alongside his brother Mike as the Avant-garde class clown and pioneer of Camp Cinema in the 60's, shooting shrill 8mm adaptations of Hollywood B-movies with his schoolmates in his parent's apartment. In the 80's he started working in video and began a series of diary videos documenting his life in San Francisco, artist and filmmaker friends, his pets, family gatherings and, above all, his travels and vacations. Especially his annual trips to Oklahoma and the WEATHER DIARIES, which he produced there, earned him a faithful audience. These diaries, which were exhibited as part of the Berlin Biennial in 2010, deal with Kuchar's fascination for violent weather and try to hotwire the turbulent phenomena in the sky with the physical and psychological tribulations of their protagonist.

Taking 500 MILLIBARS TO ECSTASY, an addendum to the WEATHER DIARY series, as its starting point, this program of lesser known titles shows examples of Kuchar's engagement with the American nature and landscape as well as with the home movie format. Again, the interrelation between the sublime beauty of nature and the banalities of everyday life are examined. By virtue of Kuchar's Hollywood-infested gaze, his holiday and family videos become humorous disaster movies of epic proportions. Earthquakes, eating disorders, electrical mice, Egyptian gods, mummies, the majestic vistas of the Rocky Mountains, dead snakes, and phallic tornadoes are the stuff these low-budget dreams are made of.
The VIPs in attendance at the event: Ellen Blumenstein (head curator KW), Adela Yawitz (also KW), Anja Lückenkemper (curator, formerly of KW, 16mm filmmaker couple Juan David Gonzales Monroy and Anja Dornieden, Tobi Ashraf, Todd Sekuler, Katharina Fichtner of the Canadian Embassy, Manuel Schubert of FilmHighlights, Daniel Hendrickson, little Alex from Macedonia, Ruben Donsbach of Fräulein magazine and his girlfriend filmmaker Laura Laabs, Florian Zeyfang, Mia Sellmann, Angela Melitopoulos,DJane Olga Damnitz with Angie Anderson, documentary filmmaker Henrieke Meyer, and my brilliant Chicago Art Institute student Natalia just in from Paris.
Uli is off to Locarno Film Festival and then holiday in Greece. I’ve been mesmerized by the Arsenal’s summer salute to Japanese filmmaker Seijun Suzuki. Saw his 1967 classic Branded to Kill starring Jo Shishido with the surgically enhanced Mitzi Gaynor apple chipmunk cheeks as a perverse contract killer vying for the number one spot. Mr. Shishido can look equally handsome and revolting in his Saville Row suits. His muscular body got the full leer treatment in Gate of Flesh 1964 where he is nursed back to health by a girl gang of tough street walkers. Suzuki’s 1960s Cinemascope features are my favorites with such titles as Comfort Women, Detective Bureau 23-Go To Hell Bastards, Tokyo Drifter and Youth of Beast. His surreal 1980s films are spellbinding but a little hard to sit through at times.

Was on my bike and glanced at what must be the most hideous creature in the world. This thing was wearing a pastel colored leather jacket with matching leather speedo. He was shirtless with an orange ruffy tan and melting skin, bleach blonde hair in a faux hawk /mullet hairstyle. To top this off he had on brown boots with a Cuban heel, and a rainbow colored fannypack and visor cap. The poor thing was working every ill look in the book simultaneously plus a trendy thick beard that was braided in sections like a Radical Fairy.

DIE UNFASSBAREN

Was digging through a pile of stuff in my flat and came across an old model card for John Francis, the former 90s Hugo Boss Model who I met through the late fashion maven and New York style guru George “Mommy” Byron. John Francis was an exquisite hunk of manhood and was given the nickname in the modelling world of “Connie Francis”. He was a very sweet, beyond gorgeous creature who when I was doing performances in Manhattan in the early 90s I would hang out with and once got to have a fun make-out session with. His body was rock hard- pecs, gluts, stomach,peni--- even his tongue was asphalt hard, and he adored over the top femininity.   We drifted apart when he caught me making out with John-John Kennedy Jr. one night at the famout nitespot Jackie 60. I’ll never forget him on the cover of Arena Magazine as a butt naked Adonis. I wonder what happened to him? He’s probably married, fat and living somewhere in Ohio.
 During the recent Berlin heat wave where the temp topped 100 Fahrenheit I saw a mega hot young black boy with a medium sized ‘fro but with several dreaded tendrils hanging out from the back of his head. He had a perfect surfer/skater boy body and was topless with broad shoulders, mega rack, tiny waiste, bubble butt-the works wearing board shorts. He was with a similarly attired scruffy white kid who also had a regular hair cut short with several dreaded tendrils. Later the same day I saw a group of clearisil looking teens and the handsomest in the group had short curly hair with dreaded tendrils. This is such a Berlin look that I usually see on local jugglers, acrobats and drum circle afficiados. Only in Berlin Kiddos Only in Berlin. Also during the heat wave I popped into the Arsenal to see the last of the Real Eighties-Neo Noir series with a screening of Ridley Scott’s Someone To Watch Over Me 1987 starring studly Tom Berenger and his pillow lipped perfection. Tom didn’t disappoint as there were a few quick glimpses of his muscled frame. If you can find a copy of Looking For Mr. GoodBar 1977 where he plays a gay panic hustler or In Praise of Older Women 1978 you get to see a lot more of him and its worth it let me tell you. Someone to Watch Over Me was very suspencefull and featured the ex Mrs. Tom Cruise Mimi Rogers before she got into a lesbian catfight with Kelly McGillis, Jodie Foster and Whitney Huston. The surprise of the film is seeing a young Lorraine Bracco looking like Brittany Murphy before she died.

I forgot to write about a screening of the Hollywood monster movie Pacific Rim I attended weeks ago. The film was forgettable but the the title appropriate in that I kept thinking that the film’s male leads the Jubas Jubilee British black actor Idris Elba and younger white Brit Charlie Hunnam would engage in some serious salt n pepper rimming and joyous 69ing at any moment during their scenes together. Mr. Hunnam’s body has been sculpted by so many steroids and human growth hormones that at times I felt he was going to burst. I remember how adoreable he was as a jungen in the original Queer is Folk series from Channel 4. Seeing him thudded into goeyness with the Anima eyed Rinko Kikuchi was disheartening, but I can only blame Mexican bougie director Guillermo Del Toro who is the resident troll under the bridge.

Had to see the Filmmaker’s Choice-Self Portraits series at the Arsenal to catch a peek at the brave and uncompromising Baby I Will Make You Sweat 1994 by Birgit Hein. I had heard about this very famous film and was delighted to finally be able to see it. It’s a tone poem and simply beautiful though several strands of the diaristic entries got lost in the pixelating glitches of this DVD copy. Digital is very unreliable as a medium. It was a marvel to see Frau Hein getting her Stella groove back in sex holidaize Jamaica, and all I could say was squirrel you climb that tree and get your proverbial gnut girl! And she got it in spades (pardon the pun)from two braided black gentlemen, muscles gleaming and bodies glistened by the Carribean sun. I was a bit shocked to see that her lotharios looked like negro dreadlocked versions of her ex husband Wilhelm Hein.

DER HUND FLÜSTERER

Straddling off to Vienna, Austria for a summer gig at the famed Thyssen-Bornemisza Art Contemporary Ephemeropterae 2013. Ali Jenka of Geliten Art Kollective had told me about this institution and the woman who founded it with her patrician husband from the Hapsburg Dynasty. Flying on this strange little Airline called Darling Niki which is a partner of Air Berlin. I guess its like Europes answer to Southwest Airlines as the Trolley Dollys are young and dressed very casually. The best part of this trip is an almost empty aeroplane so I have plenty of leg room with an exit row aisle seat and there are no small children or babies anywhere in sight. I lucked out. My accomodations are at a cute boutique called Hotel Kunsthof in a derelict part of Vienna that is very multi-cultural and reminds me of the Wedding area of Berlin before it got gentrified. From the outside the hotel looks like a dump but inside its actually quite glamorous in a non frilly manner. The free breakfast is quite good—simple quality cheeses, breads, cereals coldcuts, juices and strong coffee. I loved sitting out in the spacious cool garden terrace. Some icky ugly business men were eating at the same time, but thank god they left for their dreary work assignments so I had the garden mostly to myself. My first night in Vienna was invited to a country style din din at the Weinstube Josefstatd at Piaristen Gasse 27 in the 8th District. Got to the eatery early and took a ho stroll and ran into a gorgeous young man with large feet in expensive Italian sandles who recognized me in boy drag and introduced himself and said he was coming to my performance at the Ausgarten. He had the fancy name of Christophe Freiherr von Berg. Would love to chow down on his hefty package which was straining his trousers. At dinner was surprised to find the wonderous Jakob Lena Knebl wearing a skirt and Valeska Gert looking ensemble along with always amazing Hans Schirl and the gentle giants that they do their incredible performances with. Representing the institution the lovely modelesque assistant curator Miriam Kathrein with head curator Daniela Zyman who use to live in LA at the Schindler Haus and was responsible for having the Austrian government purchase it for use as an artist residence. Also met the very sweet museum coordinator Simone and her well trained and very pretty doggy Candor. After the scrumptious comfort meal the gang took me to the 25 Hours A Day Hotel Rooftop Garden Lounge for drinks and a spectacular view of the city. Unfortunately I had to be a party pooper and head back to my hotel as I was exhausted.

On the day of my performance I ate lightly as not to be bloated. I was giving my performative lecture in the Ausgarten of the museo in a sculpture designed by a Ghanian artist. I was shocked that over 500 people came out to see me. The annex of the museum is in a park not far from my hotel in an area that is off the beaten path, so people really wanted to come here to see ‘the doll’ as there is nothing else of interest in the 2nd District. Other performers who were apart of this Ausgarten series my fellow LA woman Wanda ‘Maddog’ Coleman, Blixa Bargeld, Lydia Lunch, Asdis Sif Gunnarsdottir, Antonio Caro, Lois Weinberger,Cerith Wyn Evan, Susan Stenger, John Giorno, Christian Fennesz, Anna Artaker and Chicks on Speed. After my performance there was a fabulous catered dinner in the park by Iranian temptress via Los Angeles Nessa Heschmatwho runs her own business called Nessecita

https://www.facebook.com/Nessecita?fref=ts

Here is just a partial list of those who attended my performance: Ephemeropterae 2013 curator Boris Ondreicka, Rosie Huntington-Whitely British ‘IT’ Girl, Adriano DeSouza the famous Brazilian surfer, Katja Langmaier of Zaglossus Publishing House, Prinzessin Elisabeth Auersperg-Breunner, Hugo Boss Chef Herbert Gaar, Nadja, Maria Fekter, opera diva Eva Liebau, artists Caroline Schell and Johannes Porsch who was my opening act and lived in LA where he was neighbors with my former LA Weekly collegue Sam Anson,Steffan Isser of Swarovsi Wien, Markus Hausleitner and Susanne Kriemann. Special thankx to Marcus my Austrian Mandingo blondine tech stewart and Mr. MaGoo and the great Ausgarten tech staff.

Couldn’t stay in Austria for a long time as I had to rush home for Rising Stars, Falling Stars-We Must Have Music and our screening of Luchino Visconti´s Senso starring Alida Valli, Farley Granger and Massimo Giroti. Kino Arsenal 2 was packed with only standing room and after the screening because of the warm weather we had the vino reception in at the CHEAP Gossip Studio circular bar where I got to meet Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus´s lovely young mother, handsome brother Tobias and his wife. It was indeed family night as film historian Marc Siegel with girlfriend actress Susanne Sachsse had his sister and niece in tow. The celebutantes included prima ballerina Trixie Schönherr aka: Beatrice Cordua and her followers that include Dr. Tonja van Helden a young dancer and academe whose work focuses on the relationship between expression, body and gesture. Dr. van Helden has been a RSFS regular with her lovely Seven Sister pal on a fellowship from Bryn Marr College. Also seen and heard: the wonderous Zach Blas with Sam Marmer, Pinar Voldas who is Turkish living in the US as the official ‘Vilem Flusser artist in residence at Transmediale and Micha Cardenas Zack´s LA based friend and collaborator who is the current resident at the Post Media Lab. Micha is also a hacktivist, poet and performer, and you can learn more about her work at these links:

http://michacardenas.org
http://twitter.com/michacardenas

http://femmedisturbance.tumblr.com



I also got to chittle chat with adoreable butch academic powerhouse Heather Love and her lovesexy NYU professor partner Mara Mills with their enchanting daughters Emma and Juliet. Piero Bellomo was looking handsome as ever with his lover Daniel Hendrickson the Scandinavian Muslim and my partner in grime, the Greek coalition of Telemachos who did my hair, make-up and styling and Hellenic Jorgos, Manuel Schubert of FilmHighlights Magazine, Uli Ziemons of Forum Expanded, Italian academic Domietta from Chicago with colleage, big peniled Arsenal projectionist Axel Lambrette, vivacious Kassa Girl Nadja with Arsenal tyro David, Israeli director Yony Leiser with a muscular Fulbright Scholar.

Just got word that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge will name their firstborn son Chav.

FESTSPIELKLEID-ANPROBE FÜR LUGNERS KOLIBRIK

Rising Stars Falling Stars - with Vaginal Davis & Max Steele - July 2013 by Filmanzeiger on Mixcloud

HEXENSCHLUSS

Spent a lovely day with Manuel Schubert of FilmHighlights Radio Magazine and his pal Olivier Novitzky shopping on the K-Damn and brunching at Dolores the California Burrito emporium. The boys told me all about the new cruising application Scruff which has taken the place of Grinder in the gay sex search cosmos,and about a mutual local friend of theirs who is quite the entrepreneur hosting Tupperware style dildo parties that feature dildo quality testing with The Dildo King boutique as well as continental pharmaceutical management. I am not a fan of the sex stimulant Poppers, but I had no idea that Austria has such harsh laws that one cannot purchase Poppers legally in that country. 
Went to Berghain’s Cantina to see Baby Diaper Joel Gibb and his musical collective The Hidden Cameras perform Saturday night. The Baby D and his posse featuring Tenderloin guitarist Landgraf Jan Klesse majestically enveloped the intimate confines of the Cantina. It was a moist, sticky and lovesexy queer affair celebrating the 7inch vinyl EP Gay Goth Scene and took me back to my own gothic youth spent in Hollywood venues like Cathay De Grande, Vinyl Fetisch Club and The Veil. Enjoying the cumraderie: visiting academic royal Heather Love with childbride scholar Mara Mills and their lovely and vivacious teenage daughters, NYU’s Tavia Nyongo, Manuel Schubert, Malte & Cavalero, sweet Felix Knocke & Jan Klesse's pretty girlfriend Marie, the rock star film producer extroidinaire who just moved permanently to Berlin--Michael Stipe of REM fame was looking all ready for summer with his art photog Gallic beau Thomas Dozol. 
Caught the final presentations of the Frieda Grafe series of film screenings at Arsenal Inst fur film und Video Kunst Sunday eve with my dates Nanna Heidenriech,Uli Ziemons, Susanne Sachsse and Marc Siegel. An actual psychiatrist from Munich introduced the 1944 Mitchell Leisen Technicolor helmer Lady in the Dark. My German isn’t very good but the unnattractive therapist who goes by the name of Marcus Coelen spoke with such a pompous tone like a prickly Evangelische pastor.

I have always wanted to see Lady in the Dark which is more a drama with musical bits then a knockout sluggo musical film. Based on the 1941 Broadway show of the same name by Kurt Weill and Ira Gershwin with book and direction by Moss Hart it’s a complete WW2 oddity featuring Ginger Rogers, an icky Ray Milland, barrelchested Jon Hall and a shrill queen playing a photographer in a role which seemed tailor made for Paramount’s top pansy character actor Billy DeWolfe. The war years shortage of male top men led Hollywood to go into a miscogeny frenzy in terror that women were taking over the work world.

Charles Walter’s 1950 musical Summer Stock from MGM features the unnatural naturalness of Baby Frances Gumm aka: Judy Garland in all her spirited economy. At the end of the musical number “Happy Harvest” the camera lingers on the inflamed larnex of La Garland which is a hoot. Surrounded by a sterling cast that includes Phil Silvers, Hans Conreid, Gloria DeHaven, Majorie Main, Eddie Bracken,Ray Collins and Carleton Carpenter as well as Gene Kelly’s handsome buttocks that voraciously clears a path of all obstacles.

BOOZE UNDER THE BRIDGEWORK

Tonight at 9pm at Berghain Cantina Joel Gibb the baby diaper of the musical collective The Hidden Cameras returns to Berlin for a rare must see concert. Mr. Gibb and his explosive rack of chewy nips is looking high, wide and handsome these days strutting his dinosaur golden bone to full advantage. Slurp. http://thehiddencameras.com

Had a wonderful picnic in the Tiergarten oogling hot TU boys on a bench across from the SiggySaule with visiting NYU scholar Tavia Nyongo who is related to President Barack Obama. Didn’t know that Tavia is pals of the boys of the music combo Matmos who now live in Baltimore MD land of John Waters as one of the dual is a junior academe,but when he is in Berlin he loves to haunt the faded hustler bars of Nollendorky Platz in all their broken down splendour. Another one of La Nyongo’s best girlfriends is super gorgeous severe dimpled Deutche Welle correspondent Michael Scaturno who has been getting quite cozy with a Ugandan/German fashion designer making a name for himself during the recent Berlin Fashion week. Mr. Scaturno is quite a muscular and talented asphalt cutie who also works for Voice of America and is one of the most desired young men in Berlin.

Went to the Freida Grafe series at Arsenal again to see a strange little film The Honey Pot 1967 by Joseph L. Mankiewitz that I loved starring Rex Harrison, Susan Hayward, Capucine, Edie Adams and a long on the tooth Cliff Robertson and Little Shop of Horrors directed by Roger Corman 1960 with a very very young Jack Nicholsen which was a laugh riot. Also saw one of my fav colleagues Nanna Heidenreich of Forum Expanded hilariously introduce the W.C Fields helmer It’s A Gift.

WARNUNG VOR EINER HEILIGEN NUTTE

 Met with Manuel Schubert of FilmHighlights Magazine for an interview session at the wonderous St. Matthew Cemetary Flower Shop Café owned by a famous Schöneberg queen.  Our celebutante guest star was the beautiful and studly New York writer and performer extroidinaire Max Steele with his friends the British cabaret ingénue Ms. Alexander Geist and mega talented Chicago artiste Stevie Hanley aka:  The Dainty Satanista.  Mr. Hanley was one of my Chicago Art Institute students who I did a studio visit with back in the Spring so it was wonderous seeing him again along with Max Steele who is my favorite jungen with very large feet a hefty piece of boy meat and bubblicious cup cakes.  During our interview I told the radio listeners that Max comes from a wealthy American family who still own black slaves.  Mr. Steele is actually a seven sisters product having graduated from Sarah Lawrence that also produced Dr. Jose Munoz and Gwen Turner.  Max will be performing at Chantal´s House of Shame tonight and Pork at Frankenstein 5000 in KreuzKölln.  Go and see him and you will not be disappointed as he plans on singing some Laura Nyro songs.  I hope he does a cover of “Stoney End”. I love me some perfection that is Max Steele!!!!!

Later I attended the Freida Grafe film series at Arsenal Inst für Film und Video Kunst.  The first film was John Ford´s Rio Grande with John Wayne is big leggy, Maureen O´Hara, Andy Devine and Victor McClagen.  I am not a John Wayne fan but of course I am all about the striking black & white compositions of Herr Ford and I have to admit Mr. Wayne is quite affective, but its Ms. O´Hara who really shines.  The second feature was Ernst Lubitsch´s The Merry Widow which was hilariously introduced by author Klaus Theweleit quoting the all too gay lyrics of Lorenz Hart.  The homo delish was very apparent in this film with both Edward Everett Horton and Sterling Holloway.  I could barely stand the muggings of a long on the tooth Maurice Chevalier.  Jeanette McDonald is sublime however.  A perfect double bill would be the 1952 version of The Merry Widow starring Lana Turner and Fernando Lamas.  After the Living Archive monthlong festival at Arsenal I still can´t get enough and have been attending regularly the series The Real 80´s-Neo Noir by the macho film curating collective Canine Condition that also has one token fagula in their group.  So nice to see Kino 1 filled with a crosssection of youthful faces for screenings of films like No Way Out starring a brilliant Sean Young with Gene Hackman who is always good and Kevin Costner who I hate.  No Way Out is a remake of the 1948 film The Big Clock directed by Mia´s dad John Farrow.  I also saw To Live and Die in LA 1985 starring a big dicque arrogant William L. Petersen and Willem Dafoe featuring the young John Turturro and my favorite Mike´s Murder 1983 directed by James Bridges starring a luminous Debra Winger and the radiant young, tight asstrovar of Mark Keyloun.  So wonderful seeing my former punk rock pals in Mike´s Murder including Spazz Attack who was boyfriends with Toni Basil of “Oh Mickey Your´re So Fine” fame and Marisol who use to perform with The Tubes.  The back story of Mikes Murder also hits close to home as its based on a true drug related murder involving a hot young hustler I use to know from my punk and dance club dayz at places like The Oddyssee, The Other Side, The Sugar Shack and The Mirror-Go-Round. 

Was invited to a scrumptious dinner party at the famous table of La Susanne Sachße at her eastside compound.  The menu included a fab cauliflower pasta with ewok noodles, mustard, chalots, balsamic butter with teragon and a most refreshing watermelon, mint and feta cheese salad.  Lecher Smecker!!!!  It was so sweet spending quality time with the great Susi the fearless leader of CHEAP collective and her film historian frau Marc Siegel who accompanied me to the Proctologist where I got the diagnosis that my prostrate is super gigantasaurus rexus and is pushing against my bladder causing me to have to pee constantly.  I hope the natural medication he gave me helps solve the problem.  Getting old is not for sissy´s.