DER HIMMEL IST IM OARSCH

Was invited by Baby Diaper Joel Gibb to be his plus one at the Berlin Music Week’s Berlin Festival at Templehof Airport to see The Pet Shop Boy’s. Had never been inside the old Nazi Aeroport Building which is simply major Ms. Gorgeous. The last big concert festival I attended was the first Coachella Music Fest in the California High Desert. I was writing regularly for the LA Weekly so I had VIP passes and got to enjoy the VIP area which featured a comfy lounge with free vegan food, drinks and gift bags. The Berlin Festival VIP area was very far from the main stage and did have some comfortable couches and chairs, but nothing was free. I was glad that you couldn’t hear any of the bad techno music from the dance areas or sound from the other stages of mediocre bands. The only groups that I recognized were the headliners, Blur, Bjork and My Bloody Valentine. I liked that the Pet Shop Boys presented their ouvre in jukebox fashion complete awkward modern dancers and ill video projections, but being a woman of a certain age with bad knees and feet that swell if I stand too long prevented me from seeing the entire concert and I left halfway through the proceedings. Before the Pet Shop Boys performed Joel and I hung out with Peaches and her posse and REM great Michael Stipe and his French loverboy art photog Thomas Dozol. Went to Kino Arsenal to see the restored version of GW Pabst’s Joyless Street starring the great Asta Nielsen, Greta Garbo and a hilariously perverse Valeska Gert. Eunice Martin accompanied the 1924 film with majestic aplomb. Around the corner from my studio in the Rote Insel section of Berlin is a tiny neighbourhood theatre called Xenon which was playing the 2010 Travis Matthews film I Want Your Love. I liked the short subject internet series In My Room by Mr. Matthews that featured Brontez Purnell of West Coast Indie rock sensations Gravy Train and The Young Lovers so I decided to see this film. The movie is very San Francisco, and the only thing I enjoyed about it was the scenes with Mr. Purnell who should have been the focus of the film as the other characters weren’t very engaging. Besides Brontez their were a few playful graphic sex scenes, unfortunately the rest of the sex was presented in a conventional modern gay porn manner. Took the speed train to Frankfurt with film historian Marc Siegel for my intervention at the Palmengarten as part of the Helio Oiticica exhibit at the MK Museum fur Modern Kunst. I was supposed to present my performance for one guest at a time inside the Oiticica sculpture but because of the rain my event was moved into the lovely Botanical Gardens of the Palmengarten which turned out to be the perfect location for a Lesbian Seperatist Tea Party that I titled: Lesbi Tropicalia-Tea & Sympathy. I didn’t expect that so many people would want to share tea and dainties with me and the evenings muse the late writer Ingeborg Bachmann, but it turned into a mad house scene. Luckily my collaborators were some hot young baby dykes that included Miss Johanna who was the overall security gal who escorted each guest for their audience with la diva. Its so wonderful to have in-charge lesbianas on my team, that also included Miss Sonja a stylish and lovesexy Heather Casills doppelganger who actually served the tea with panache and grace and boy baby dyke Alex who was the official greeter. Miriam Bettin one of the junior curators and her excellent team did a fantastic job,and I love them all. The VIPs who came included Marc Siegel and theorist Maxmillian Jorge Henderer Cruz who is an Oiticica expert and co-editor of the exhibition catalogue and Oiticica translator, Peter Gorsch Lueter the vice director of MMK Museum with his lovely wife Maria, Bernd Reiss the muscular dark haired curator who supervised events at the Palmengarten, Stefanie Hereaus the head of curatorial studies at the Staede Schule and Goethe Universitat, Nikolaus Hirsch the director of the Staedel Schule whose first event as director was one featuring Vaginal Davis and this his last event with Staedel Schule featuring the Vaginal D doll, Bernhard Jussen the Leibniz Prize winning historian and husband of Ms. Hereaus, Ulrike of the Film Museum Frankfurt, Phillip Crackau the hottest of the young, delicious Goethe Universitat students who waited for 2 hours to see Ms. Davis but had to be sadly turned away, Paula the coordinator of the Brazil Year at Frankfurt Book Fair, artist Adrian Williams and Neo Con Jurgen Habermus Germany’s most famous living philosopher who must be the most unusual of Vaginal Davis’s many fanatics.

STOMPING AT THE SAVOY

Whooshing in the former East at the compound of Susanne Sachsse for a bruncheon celebrating a visit from the James Caan doppleganger father of film historian Marc Siegel. The elder Siegel and his longtime companion travelled to Berlin all the way from suburban Detroit. The Sachsse/Gershe/Siegels will then venture to Lake  Perry Coumo and have an audience with Sir George of Clooney the closeted Hollywood actor and his humpy young boyfriend. It was a very festive gathering that featured such stellar VIP’s as Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Nanna Heidenreich, Daniel Hendrickson, Richard Gersche and his lovesexy bestfriend and roommate Jacob and Richard’s lovely girlfriend Miss Vicki who has not only one but two starring roles in German films coming out soon. Saturday I welcomed back to Berlin the handsomest man of all Europa Uli Ziemons with a breakfast meeting at Mokalola on Lebener Strasse the Marlene Deitrich street in the Rote Insel. Uli was looking quite hot and very tanned and relaxed from his holiday in Greece with Little Alex of Macedonia. He also went to the Locarno Film Festival where he saw several films that were part of a George Cukor retrospektacle and a new film from Canada called The Dirties that was quite a hilarious hoot. Friday I had bruncheon at the Baby Diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras’ Rixdorf Villa along with Dree Hemmingway the daughter of my old pal Mariel Hemmingway and international supershtar DJane Honey Dijon who has a new album coming out and has been working on some music with the Baby Diaper. I also recorded my Rising Stars, Falling Stars text for Miss Honey to use on a track. Saw the fantasy film The Mortal Instrument which is trying way too hard to be the next Twilight franchise, one of the actors who is Irish named Robert Sheehan plays a dweeb with glasses and is very cute reminding me of Little Alex of Macedonia and there is a tall stately Asian actor who plays a gay Warlock who is extremely sexy but poor CCH Pounder’s talents are completely wasted in this film. Lucky for Ms. Pounder she gets killed. Was invited to luncheon with Manuel Schubert of FilmHighlights Magazine and his visiting ganymead film historian friend. They took me to this great Japanese restaurant across the street from UDK near the Zoo Station. One thing I miss about not living in Los Angeles is Japanese food. Had another late summer laundry party with Mr. Schubert after which we ventured to Mokalola for breakfast and then to see a guilty pleasure Hollywood film in the form of We’re the Millers starring Genital Aniston who I can’t believe still gets starring roles in movies and Jason Sudeikis who reminds me of 1940s comic actor Eddie Bracken along with Emma Roberts the daughter of Eric Roberts and niece of Julia and a dorky ginger haired Brit boy Will Poulter who was just adoreable playing a teenage nebbish.

LOHENGRIN

Rising Stars, Falling Stars-We Must Have Music has been breaking box office attendance records lately and the recent screening of the documentary Thelonius Monk-Straight No Chaser proves that Berlin has a whole lot of jazz fans. As not to compete with the dazzling piano playing of Mr. Monk Daniel Hendrickson the Jewish Muslim switched to the Ude in accompanying Ms. Davis as she read her zany text. The stars all came out as this summer evening shone brightly with quite an array of notables beginning with rock god Michael Stipe of REM who moved to Berlin with his hot French lover the art photog Thomas Dozol. In the Stipe entourage was luscious world class DJane extroidinaire Ms. Honey Dijon looking like a teenager without a bit of make-up on, Joel Gibb the Baby Diaper leader of the Canadian folk music collective The Hidden Cameras,Portland Oregon musical duo Daniel Hindman and Sarah Versprille,French tennis sensation Yannick Agnel and A-list Hollywood shtar Ryan Gosling in-cognito. Also seen: Film historians Marc Siegel and Christian Weber with his lovesexy psychoanalyst pal Jan Lindmeyer who is my neighbour in the Rote Insel kiez and their 18 year nubile friend Hans, Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus was in animated discussion during the after screening wine reception with gorgeous Bolivian/German theorist Max Jorge Hinderer Cruz, Nanna Heidenreich, Nico Siepen of bbooks who also teaches art in Norway,feminist artist Roswitha Baumeister from the legendary West Berlin PELZE collective of the 1980s with niece, filmscholar Britta Hartmann and filmmaker Christian Petzold. Looking amazing as usual was Trixie Schoenherr aka: Beatrice Cordua with Dr. Tonja van Helden, tech artist Zach Blas and his adoreable beau Andrew Hibbard, young Greek active artist Yorgos Sourmelis the Ottoman Byzantine and a bevy of German actors who must be Monk fans-Pit Bukowski, Juergen Vogel who is a juicy tiny muscular pud with large gaps between his teeth which I adore, Florian David Fitz who looks very dull and patrician like an Evangelische politician,big peniled blondine David Kross, Jochen Schrupp and Marco Kruezpainter.

The other evening was invited to the famous east side table of Susanne Sachsse where she cooked a scrumpdelicious meal of Capricious Beef on carmelized red carrots with a Charles Aznavour toss that consisted of roasted almonds, zucchini and habibi olive oil in honor of Judy Chelsea Manning LaBruce who was in town editing his film version of Pierrot Lunaire before trotting off to the Venice Film Festival with his other movie the granny bopper tale Geritolphelia. A hilarious time was had by all with plenty of hooting and hollering until the wee hours. Earlier I had gone to see Dr. Minx with Marc Siegel. I have high blood pressure still and Dr. Minx told me to eliminate all breads, salt and cheese from my diet and start a rigorous exercise campaign. So if anyone in Berlin who plays tennis wants a sparring partner contact the doll via Glee Brevard my assistant on my web site. After our doctor visit Professor Siegel took me to luncheon at this new Asian fusion place in Kreuzberg called Com A that had the cutest Vietnamese girls on staff and one very lovely gaysian boy.

BRILLIANT CORNERS

Rising Stars Falling Stars - with Vaginal Davis & Thelonious Monk - August 2013 by Filmanzeiger on Mixcloud

THE ROAD OF MUSCLE

Had a wonderful time being interviewed byManuel Schubert of FilmHighlights Magazine at the Cheese Endique Trifecta which I decided to rename Brilliant Corners in honor of Thelonius Monk and the film Thelonius Monk:Straight No Chaser that I will screen as part of Rising Stars, Falling Stars-We Must Have Music Sunday Aug 25th 8pm at Kino 2 at Arsenal Inst fur film und Video Kunst. Later Manuel and I went to see the preposterous sci-fi blockbuster Elysium which is the ultimate white flight film with Jodie Foster looking stiff and uncomfortable. She was such a great actress as a child and teenager. What happened? Matt Damon her co-star was serving hunkyness mixed with middle age realness at the same time. Poor Alica Braga and long on the tooth Diego Luna didn’t have much to do in supporting roles. The other day my guilty pleasure movie was The Bling Ring at this cute neighbourhood theatre on he Haupt Strasse called Odeon. This flicker directed by Sofia Coppolla featured already dated teen slang and style but I adored Emma Watson who does a ripe Valley Girl imitation. Not bad for a Brit. The only other actor to do it this well is Tracy Ullman. My new obsession is the chubby male ingénue Israel Broussard who has the most heavenly pillow lips and should have twerked in one scene with him cutting up on the computer. Glad to see in the credits that myold pal Roz Music was the make-up designer. Roz and I go way back b4 the flood. She is Hollywood royalty. Her father played Carleton the doorman on TV’s Rhoda back in the 1970s and they live in a swanky villa near Larchmont Village. With Daniel Hendrickson the Jewish Muslim I went to the Anti-Racism Festival in the Hallesches Tor Park near the American Biblioteka. Cute event that was organized by Senol Senturk, the lovesexy production,stage art and set designer. Saw a book presentation for Wer MACHT Demo_kratie? Kritische Beitraege zu Migration und Machtverhaeltnissen by young upcoming academe and theorist Zuelfukar Cetin. On one of the panels was a youngish olde school Turkish leftist who looked like a dull Evangelische tax accountant or bookkeeper. The other evening was invited to dinner at Defne’ the upscale Turkish boite on the Canal in Kreuzberg by visiting scholar and artist Zach Blas and his cute young beau. A nice time was had by all that included Zach’s vivacious art partner Mischa and her pal Natalie who is my new neighbour. Mischa and Natalie use to work with Ricardo Dominguez of Electronic Distrubance Theatre. My former LA Weekly colleague Joshuah Bearman who is a beady eyed nerd with a pinchant for wearing Jesus style leather sandles I just found out is part of some organization that sells magazine articles to be optioned for film treatments. Joshuah wrote an article that later became the Oscar winning film Argo. See what I mean. Never trust a nerd. Joshuah and I had a longstanding flirtation when we worked with each other at the LA Weekly. Of course he never had the gumption to make a move on me and my hot tranny messyness.

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MENSCHEN AM SONNTAG

Got a bunch of emugs about my memory post about the male model John “Connie” Francis. A lot of folks wanted to know what other male models have I had a connection to. That got me thinking down memory mammary lane and I realized that I had quite a male and female model history stemming from my brief time modelling for Zoli’s Models in NewYork in the early 1980s and just having been alive on this insel Earth for soooo many centuries. The first male model that I swooned over was Jeff Aquilon who was also a water polo player at Pepperdine University where I won a scholarship to that religious university in Malibu after high school. Like everyone in those days Jeff saw me as just a little innocent teenage girl and I didn’t exactly exude any sexual allure or menace and in the late 1970s you had to give off that quality to bag a stud beauty prize like Jeff, but I was just happy to be in his orbit for a blazing minute even if he didn’t desire me. I did a photo shoot with Tom Hintnaus who was the first Calvin Klein underwear model and let me tell you - having his muscular naked Brazilian body draped over me for hours was utter joy. I actually stole a pair of his used underwear that had a skid mark. Shows you that I was perverted even in my youth. I also partied down over the years with such modelling hunkasaurauses as Tim Easton, Mark Vanderloo, Mark Norlun, “Moose” Khan, Hoyt Richards, Hart Bochner who later became an actor appearing as a Fratboy in Breaking Away with mypal Dennis Christopher and Dennis Quaid who was humpy when he was young but had bad skin. Hart also was in George Cukor’s last film Rich and Famous starring Candice Bergen and Jacqueline Bisset. Hart Bochner had the most intoxicating body odor. He didn’t like to wear deodorant so he smelled kind of funky with a musty aftertaste. Lecher smecher! I also had little forays with Nick Kamen, who I met through the Flip of Hollywood Store on Melrose, Nick Scotti, Nick Constantino, Joel West, Brian Buzzini, David Fumero who went on to success on the Daytime drama One Life to Live, Nacho Figueras, Alex Lundquist and Travis Fimmel. The new breed of models I have had bumpings with are: Marlon Texeira, Chad White and Antonio Navas. O and my alltime fav model pas has been Tony Ward who I co-starred with in Judy LaBruce’s Hustler White back in 1996. I first met Tony in mid 1980s through photographer and stylist Beulah Love for a photo shoot with Albert Sanchez that recreated the paintings of Paul Cadmus. I still have the tear sheet from that photographic outing. Tony Ward was a darling boy, super muscular at that time. He had to slim it down for fashion purposes later in his career working with Matthew Rolston and Herb Ritts who of course fell madly in love with him and ripped him off. Tony was best friends with my former neighbour and University buddy Billy Hoye a sweetheart of a man who was also a former model but now works behind the scenes on films and is from a wealthy Hancock Park family.

One of my all time favourite actresses died from complications of Cancer the great Karen Black. She was born the same year 1939 as my oldest sister Gracie Lee who died two years ago of cancer. I got to meet Ms Black when we performed on the same bill for a Lou Reed Halloween salute to Edgar Allan Poe at UCLA’s Royce Hall back in the late 1990s that also featured a young Antony Hegerty when he was still Lou Reed’s protégé, Kembra Pfhaler of the Voluptuous Horrorof Karen Black and Ron Athey were also on the bill. Karen Black did a dramatic resissitation of Fall of the House of Usher that was one of the most spectacular performances I have ever seen. To say she embodied her role didn’t do justice. She became a banshee on stage howling and screaming blood curdlingly in fits and torrents like she was being exorcised while having an epileptic fit. She also introduced Kembra and her band VHofKB at one of their gigs in Venice, California at a loft/warehouse space off the boardwalk a few years earlier and seemed to be quite a good sport and looked always incredibly young and vital. Besides her portrayal in the TV film Trilogyof Terror 1975 which inspired Kembra to name her band after Karen Black. Karen Black was phenomenal in the film The Great Gatsby 1974 directed by Jack Clayton, Alfred Hitchcock’s last film Family Plot, Airport 75, The Pyx 1974 where she plays a call girl involved with devil worshippers, Cisco Kid 1972 set in Venice Beach with a young Kris Kristopherson and the looney 1974 film of Eugene Ionesco’s Rhinocerous with Gene Wilder and Zero Mostel. She should have won an Academy Award for Nashville 1975 where she wrote and sings her own songs and Come Back to the Five and Dime Jimmy Dean 1983. Another underrated fav is Can She Bake a Cherry Pie 1983 Henry Jaglom. We both had small roles in Tales of the City 1995. Another actress I adore who died at age 80 was Eileen Brennan who made a bunch of films for Peter Bogdanovich in the 1970s like At Long Last Love, The Last Picture Show and Daisy Miller where she plays a hypocritical expat socialite in Rome. Daisy Miller is quite good and Cybil Shepard gave an underrated performance in that film which features the fine work of Mildrid Natwick, Cloris Leachman and Barry Brown who later committed suicide by hanging himself in Silverlake at his lover’s restaurant The Frog Pond on Hyperion Blvd in 1978. Eileen Brennan also was in the original cast of Hello Dolly on Broadway in 1964.

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Our trustworthy young heroine Vlautin has not been short on bobby carnalvale encounters. The other evening she had to flee the overzealous embrace of a kinky couple from Spandau only to majestically bump into a hard bodied Pole with an unfortunate face of butter, followed by a hesitant blondine boy with a bottle rocket and a German 6foot 9 inch giant with sad eyes hungry for stink. In the valley where the evening sun goes down Miss Vlautin shamelessly donned nothing but a thong and cha-cha heels to sow some wild roasted oats in the balmy Laure’. She was immediately tackled by James CoCo and Nestor Almendros dopplegangers who like newborn babes attached themselves to her mighty bosom and wouldn’t let go no matter how much she protested. It was alright because soon Vlautin was enamored by Prince Harming in the form of a dainty Satanist skinhead. Everything was proceeding with romantic bliss until they were interrupted by a handicapped man in an elaborately decorated motorized wheelchair. Miss Vlautin and the Prince had to salute this man for his dedication to the Evangelische cruising work ethic. Bravo hero!