DISASSOCIATIVE SPARKLE
My little young blonde neighbor Jonathan Wuermeling is so cute and bubbly with a great personality. He is from Stuttgard, and is attending business school in Berlin. He just celebrated his 19th birthday, and i met his sweet friends all warm , genuine and personable. He was an exchange student in Kentucky so he speaks English with a Southern dialect which is quite charming for a German. His school year ended so he went back to his hometown and will return to Berlina in October. My only other neighbor in the hinter haus is on the 1st floor, a woman who has lived in the building for over 35 years. She´s a bit shy but very friendly. I´m lucky i have a shower in my apartment lavatory. For over three decades my poor neighbor has had to take whore baths. Billie Ray Martin, the singer of the international club hit from the mid 90s “Loving Arms” was living two floors below me. Billie´s real name is Birgit Diekmann and she is from Hamburg. David Harrow of Technova who i collaborated with a few years ago on the album Electrosexual also worked with Billie on her hit record. I like Billie Ray, she is quite a talent, but the poor girl is somewhat of a dark cloud. I have to admit i was glad she moved out of the building. An Italian waiter also moved, probably because Billie was constantly complaining about the noise he made. I never once saw him. A gay Brazillian boy moved in after him, but i´ve only seen him once, maybe he moved too. I guess i am lucky that in my apartment building there are no drunken crusties. Both Tim and Kjohnny Blue have alcoholic German crusties in their apartment houses, and believe me you dont want to have to deal with a sour piece of crust.
The other night i went by Frankenstein 5000 and a lot of the Turkish boys were bringing their girlfriends to the bar. I guess thats the first step in coming out in that community. Some white fags also brought women, which is quite an unusual sight in a cruise bar. A few of the more adventurous gals were taking a stroll through the basement dark room. I love it when the ladies infiltrate a male sex space. There should be more of that, as darkrooms in Berlin for the most part are pretty pathetic. Havings some feminine energy in them would liven things up a bit
I am getting a little irritated by this trend of institutions like collleges, universities, film festivals and museums in the states contacting me for information, or wanting screener copies of my experimental film ouvre but not bringing me out for a presentation , Don´t waste my time and the time of my faithful assistants Andrea Novarin, Verle Oberon and Gleeson Brevard. Listen out there in cyberland and listen good. Don´t contact me unless you have a firm offer on the table i have to pay rent just like everyone else, so why would i respond to anything that doesnt offer me a guaranteed honorarium. And please dont insult me by asking for something for free . And this goes for all you crafty careerist academics. I am not flattered by your wanting to write about me, of course you want to write about someone interesting. In academia if you dont publish you are in great peril. I cant tell you how sick i am of these academics who write to my staff requesting me for a visiting artist gig and start off saying how little of a budget they have. That will get you no where. Join forces with several departments and raise an appropriate budget before you approach one of my representatives. I use to work at UCLA and i know how the system works.
While i´m venting Printed Matter and the NY Art Book Fair have been contacting me asking me questions about Fertile La Toyah Jackson Magazine. One of the young assistants working with AA Bronson got me a little peeved when in one of his emails he asked me to send some original writing, and they would consider it . . .like i was soliciting them or something. Darlings you contacted me, i didnt contact you. I spoke to Billy Miller of the Manhattan Review of Unnatural Acts,and he also was put off by this kid, so i don´t think i was being too sensitive. Us Black drag queens are notorious for being easily offended, so dont committ a faux pas with us. When i use to work at the LA Weekly the movie studios would call all the time wanting us to send them old articles, that they were thnking about making a movie of. I would tell them to go to the LA Public Library and research it themselves, or pay me as a consultant. It would have been nice if the the NYArt Book Fair had flown me out, hired me as a DJ or speaker or something. Throw us old gals a bone or two.
ALICE LEBT HIER NICHT MEHR
Had brunch with Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, our last before he goes off on another European tour. Joel is also looking for a new apartment as he is sick of living in trendy gentrified Prenzlauerber. We ate at Melitta Sunstrum in the Mehringdamm area. In the hof behind the cafe was some drag event. Later in the evening i went by Frankenstein 5000 and saw the German man that Tim Blue and i call “The Chin”. I swear this guy has the largest chin in the world, he looks just like the 60s cartoon character Dudley Dooright. I´ve seen him during the day and he is a gay version of the popular Neu Kölln crustie. A crusties job is to drink morning, noon and night and they have a great work ethic when it comes to this occupation.
Got an email from a young fan of my movie reviews. I still get invited to screenings of European and Hollywood films, here in Berlin, but don´t always make comment on these pics. But since i was asked here goes:
The Nanny Diaries-Not a good film, but Chris Evans as the male romantic interest looks meaty and very chewable. Lesbian singer Alicia Keys steals every scene she is in. Not even pros like Laura Linney and Paul Giamatti can help this wussy of a feature. I like Scarlette Johanssen. One day she will be a good actress, she is personable, attractive and has a great screen presence like Lana Turner during her ingenue years in the early 1940s in films like Johnny Eager.
Hancock-I actually liked Tom Cruise´s black well endowed lover Will Smith in this mess of an action six reeler. Poor Charlize Theron seems embarrased, and i don´t blame her having to play the wife of Jason Bateman..
Mamma Mia-Where is Nancy Walker when you need her? Nancy directed the Village People in Can´t Stop the Music in 1980. She should have been at the helm of this Dullywood musical.
EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT
Wir varen mal kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo-Yes the famous Christiane F. is now at age 46 a junky celebrity once again, but this time a Kottbusser Tor crusty at the Kottbusser Tor U-bahn station in Kreuzberg. Don’t I keep you all abreast of all the important facts and tidbits?

WARTIKA HEPBURN
Went to Frankenstein 5000 with Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim and his super sexy lover Piero Bonnehomme, of the Piero Collezione. Danny and Piero were already drunk, when i joined them at the bar. They had been to a fancy dinner in Charlottenberg, hosted by two septegenarian lovers who made their fortune selling stamps to the likesis of Queen Elizabeth of England.
Ran into Fred, the American lighting designer who worked with us on Cheap´s It Happened to Me back in 2005. Fred has lived in Berlin for over 20 years and is the housequeen of Frankenstein 5000. There were actually a lot of people at the pub. I guess with the summer tourist season they have been experiencing an upswing with attendence. A few years ago someone OD´d in the darkroom and no one noticed the dead body till the early morning. Only in Berlin kids.
On the video screen they were playing a Bel Ami blue movie starring a Michael Phelps look-a-like who even had la lady Phelps lanky frame and size 14 feet. Yowza!
Looking forward to the Sunscreens Summer Experimental Film Festival at the Arsenal that will take place August 29-31st. Mark your calenderia for Aug 30th as kollective Cheap will provide the accompanyment to the Germaine Dulac film La Souriante Madame Beudet (1923) as part of a special Rising Stars, Falling Stars. And the Arsenal is going through a major shift with a name change to the Arsenal Research Center for Film and Video. Arsenal will involve themselves with more educational programs and other scholarly pursuits with an international focus. The new Arsenal premieres November 1st.
Nancy Barton, one of my old LA pals from the early 1980s is now a dean with the NYU Art School, and one of her young students in their program is visiting and working in Berlin for the summer. Her name is Mila Geisler and she is part German and Korean, a gorgeous statuesque beauty with a bright and winning personality. She spent some time with me at the Cheese Endique Trifecta and we had a blast together and i gave her some high heel training. She also took me to dinner around the corner at the cafe Toughstein where we had a hoot of a time. Ms. Geisler has a hunky ex-Marine for a boyfriend who is playing himself in the HBO drama Generation Kill. His name is Rudy Reyes and he is the personafication of manliness. If you don´t believe me go to his web site at www.RudyReyes.com.
Had a drink with Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras before he met with Peaches at some club in Mitte that was playing rap music from the year 1988. They wanted me to join them, but my old knock knee problem raised its ugly head as well as some projectile diahrrea, so a hippity hop evening was decidedly out of the question.

CORVA BICTIM
Everyone is visiting Berlin these days now that the city has a hip cache, and this summer I´ve had a plethora of Californians dropping by. Yesterday Mr. Tom Christie, the Arts Editor of the LA Weekly stopped by my Cheese Endique Trifecta with his young lady friend Mara. We had a hoot of a time gossiping about former collegues and what not, and drinking wine spritzers. Mr. Christie´s son is now 19 and his daughter 16. I remember when they were little children roaming the halls of the Sunset & Highland LA Weekly offices. The Weekly has now moved to Culver City. Who´s decision was that? Not a smart choice if you ask me. By moving the offices to the westside, it completely undermines what the paper has always been about, but then again, its not about anything these days so perhaps its fitting. Mr. Christie´s son is best friends with Bela Messex, who is the oldest child of Kim Jones and Monty Messex who were just visiting me a few weeks before i had my performances in London. Bela will be in Berlin for the entire summer like last year. He and Mr. Christie´s son will be hanging out together. I really adored Mr. Christie´s ex-wife Claire, she was very glamorous and sultry, reminding me of the actress Joan Bennett.
Mr. Christie use to live in the same artist compound in Silverlake on Sanborn Street where Ron Athey has now lived for over a decade. Its a very famous grouping of bungalows. Jon Bok, the artist who designed the interiors of all the House of Blues nightclubs all over the world use to live there, and artist Larry Pittman was shot by a gang banger at the location.
My old partner from Club Sucker Frank Rodriguez and his beautiful ginger boyfriend Patrick, who is a talented artist, are coming to town either at the end of this week or the beginning of the next. I haven´t been on speaking terms with Frank for many years, but its all placentia water under the bridge now that i live abroad, so it will be nice to see him and his smoldering hot lover.

SLUGGISH GONAD
Still receiving tons of emugs from England about my recent shows there, and also an avalanche of responses from the You Tube trailer/preview of my new experimental film series "DeRohan Chabot". I am kindof weirded out by You Tube, Facebook and all these modernist inventions. I guess i am just too old school for my own good.
Mr. Stuart Comer of the Tate Modern sent some pics of my Pink Mass performance, and i look kinda cute surrounded by mylar balloons. Very Warholia. I am missing London very much. They have some tired art fags and such, but there are so many international beauties roaming that olde town. One great memory that keeps flooding my brainiac is the sublime luncheon Stuart took Dominic Johnson, Dean Samashima and i to at Victoria Park where we ate next to a glorious Trumpeter Swan pond, as a summer shower cooled us off.
Yesterday i ran around with Joel "Baby Diaper" Gibb of the Hidden Cameras. Joel showed me some new art work that will be in a show he's having in Berlin along with G.B.Jones and Christophe Chemin. He also let me see the new short film he directed and its major Ms. Gorgeous. That Joel is a brilliant musician, filmmaker and beauty boy. It doesnt get better then that. Sunday i had brunch with Anna Muelter, the it girl of the Hebbel Theatre. Anna is pure joy, and i always have a fun time with her, plus she knows how to take care of her Ms. Davis doll.

CLAMSTEAD HEATH
Returned to Berlin in the midst of a heatwave. Yucky! Went immediately into a coma, and slept what seemed like days. Got a cute email from Ms. Bee Shaffer, the vivacious daughter of Vogue Magazines Anna Wintour. Bee was sorry she and her mother missed my Bistrotheque shows, as they were in London, but she tells me that Agyness Deyn and handsome record producer Mark Ronson were there and heard me sing "Tom Cruise Loves Woman", and that Mr. Ronson is dying to work with me on a music project. What that means i have no idea, and the thought is a little scary to say the least. I met Anna Wintour and her daughter through designer Rick Owens, and they get a kick out of my irreverence, as they have no one in their lives quite like me. They will be coming to Berlin soon, staying at the Hotel de Rome, so I am sure they will take me out to a nice fancy din din, where we will spend the evening gossiping, gossiping and then more gossip.
While in London i had a fun time zipping about town with the Tate Modern´s Stuart Comer. Stuart use to be a regular at my mid 90s sexy punk rock beer bust Club Sucker. Back then he worked at the Museum of Contemporary Art in Los Angeles and lived in the famous Abortion House of the Stars in the Silverlake Hills right next to the Shakespeare Troll Bridge and up the street from John Marshall High School. Clint Eastwood also lived in the house in the late 1950s, and i used it as a location for my Woody Allen "Interiors" parody in my short film The White to Be Angry in the section titled "Riche Jewish Husband".
While in Missy England i was givin copies of Dik Fagazine from Warsaw and Pablo International Magazine which features another Club Sucker regular Tall Paul Gellman on the cover.
Getting a million emails from people responding to my new short film series DeRohan Chabot. The trailer is on You Tube, and i showed one of the films in the series at Bistrotheque where it got a thunderous response.

CORNFED, CORNHOLE & CORNWALL
I am still in merry old queen mumdom of England. Last night was the last of my events with this residency at The Bistrotheque. My performance which was called The Ginger Concubine was a total mess from beginning to end, but somehow it all worked. How i don't know. Bistrotheque is an art cabaret, and high end restaurant with delicious food. Last night there was a host of celebutants that included British artist Tracey Emin and her new beau actor Orlando Bloom. You get your gnut Miss Tracey, who is my age, Mr. Bloom being a youthquaking fleshpot. There is more to tell, but i have to run and get a smidgeon to eat with Dominic Johnson, and the Love Camel.
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Back from munching out at this cute little lesbianic cafe in SoHo. The only place in the area where people are friendly. It was nice spending time with Dom and Love Camel. Love Camel helped me tremendously with all three shows, creating a special Ginger Appreciation video, and securing some spectacular photos of humpy ginge delights. He also created the before and after the show music, as well as my performance soundtrack, that consisted of Cambodian, Thai and Turkish surf rider sounds. Love Camel's day job is with the British Film Institute. The Camel has been devoted to the Vaginal Davis doll since i first met him in Milan in 1996.
Dom Johnson who is one of the youngest most beautiful academics in Britain teaches at Queen Mary College, and hosted me on this trip for two glorious nights at his South London compound that i like to call Edith Wharton Estates. The last few nights were spent with Mr. Comer and his new young gentleman caller Nicholas, a 22 year old St. Martins grad who looks like a young Montgomery Cliff (circa the Heiress)crossed with Andrew Cunanan .
Getting back to the audience at my show. I had a spirited bunch that included the entire Lesbian Soccer Team that professor Jennifer Doyle hung with while she was in Britain, also famed scholar Rachel "Savage Theory"Moore, with her drop dead gorgeous daughter, and her sexy young pals who all just graduated from Goldsmith College, and were in a high celebratory mood. Studly academe Gavin Butt, was looking particularly desireable, along with Susanne of No Bra fame, performance artist Oreet Ashery, Yusi Etiman and the other members of the Basso collektive, luscious Karol & Pawel from Dic Fagazine of Warsaw, artist Henrik Olesen, Elias Redstone, the director of Architechture Foundation, Benjamin Alexander Huseby, the bi-continental Norweigan artsticle, Kamal Ackarie of Forma, who produced Charles Atlas' work with Antony and the Johnsons, delightful Lee Adams of Club Kaos with his sweet lookalike life partner. I don´t know how so many people fit in the space, but also seen was Sarah McCrory of Studio Voltaire and the Publishing Fair, humpalicious Craig Garrett, DJ at the Cock and editor at Phaidon with super sizzle of a girlfriend Connie and pal. Craig and i go back with each other as he is the platonic lover of Andrew Gould, who i use to do Bricktops with in LA. Craig is one of the most manly looking men alive and has a penis that is 24 centimeters long. Mike Skinner of the Streets, with well endowed Skaly lad looking artist Jim Richards, who had a show at the ICA where he made these blankets with images of Keith Haring and his blatino lovers and gallerists. Leave it to the ICA to adore art that only makes reference to the sacred monied $cash bovines of the art world.
David, who manages the Bistrotheque with his lover Pablo Leon de la Barra, formerly of the Blow de la Barra Gallery was sweet and well organized, and made me feel very welcome during the residency. We worked well together, and i'd love to come back and do something again at the space which was great with a delightful staff of booty pies, including a tall Lithuanian barkeep who really floated my proverbial boat.
Sunday i hosted and DJ'd the Butt Magazine Salty Dog Beer Bust, and boy was there a lot of people milling about dwinking and such. The party mix of Tim Blue visuals really kept the crowd in awe and some photographers were using it as a backdrop for portraits all night. I wore the wrong outfit for such a warm afternoon event. I shouldn't have worn my Rick Owens dress with a catsuit under it. Really, what was i thinking? After about an hour behind the wheels of steel doing my spinderella take, i turned into a sweat beast, looking uglier then a Kottbusser Tor crusty. Dom and I joined Mr. Comer and old LA pal turned international arts grifter Maynard Monroe up in the restaurant for a hearty gourmand meal. Maynard is the bastard daughter of Marilyn and JFK, his mother didn't die of an overdose as reported in the media but giving birth to him.
Saturday was my first night of the residency where i performed and hosted the Pink Mass for Stuart Comer of the Tate Modern. The evening was beyond packed with a who ´s who of names beginning with Nils Norman, artist and friend of the late Colin de Land, Alice Rawsthorn, the design critic with the Hearst International Paper and New York Times, Catherine Wood, performance curator with the Tate Modern, Vanessa DeSclaux, hot French curator, Charles Atlas, art historian Clair Bishop, Dale Cornish, Christian Marclay, Jop of Butt Magazine, Dean Samashima Yusi of Basso, Conrad Ventur of Useless Magazine, Joe Scotland, editor of Frieze Magazine Jennifer Higgie, ICA curator Mark Sladen, with his boyfriend Garrett, Karl Kolbitz Wolfgang Tilman's studio manager who is the hunkiest most beautiful German skinhead i have ever seen in my life with a taunt rack of death and translucent skin, Paul Bernstock and Thelma Spiers the famed Milliners to Boy George and Kylie, Stefan Kalmar the director of the Munich Kunstverker, and lover of dancer Michael Clark, DJ Jon Jo, artists Daniel Sinsel, Merlin Carpenter, Josephine Pryde, Hilary Lloyd, Pablo Bronstein, visual artist who does conceptual dance pieces, Joe Moran, who does the same thing as Pablo and is very Sloan Ranger in a cute Hugh Grant kind of way. Conor Donlon of Conor Donlon Bookshop, which is below Wolfgang Tilman's studio and is the best bookstore in London according to John Waters and many others.
Have to stop here as i have to finish packing and try to make it to Lisa Stansfield Aeroport in time for my flight back to Berlina. Special thanks to Love Camel, Dom Johnson, Stuart Comer, David and the Bistrotheque Btheque Gang and super beautiful Priscila Matano, the incredible Brazilian makeup artist who beat me a fine face for the performances.

YOU BUILT THIS CITY
Marc Arthur and i finally started editing the series of movies we shot featuring the new hot art sensation DeRohan Chabot. Marc put a teaser for the project on You Tube, so please check it out and tell me what you think. I will be showing a few of the work-in-progress rough cuts to an audience in London at Bistrotheque Tuesday night as part of my new piece "Vaginal Davis is Looking For the Perfect Ginger Concubine". My residency at Bistrotheque begins Saturday night at 9pm with the "Pink Mass" in conjunction with Stuart Comer of the Tate Modern, and then Sunday i host, DJ and perform at the Butt Magazine Salty Dog Party. Looking forward to being in Ms. Merry ole Englandy, as i do need a bit of a break from Berlin. I love Berlin, but no matter what city you live in its a must to get a new perspective on things.
Loved working with Marc Arthur on the DeRohan project. Marc is so smart, funny and talented. And he has a large penis---- hurray for him!
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Danny Hendrickson, the Scandinavian Muslim invited me over for a delicious Mexicale feast with him and his super sizzling Italo/German boyfriend Piero Bellehomme. The two of them were making me laugh out loud as they filled me in on the latest Berlin gossip that is too scandalous to report in this here blogina. You know the gossip must be something else if i am refraining to report on it. Well, i can´t tell you everything.
Got a nice letter from the sexy brilliantly provacative art photog Mattias Herrmann, who is a fan of my blog, and sent me some lovely encouraging words. I am always surprised that anyone would want to read my insane ramblings on a regular basis. Most popular blogs have dozens of pics and are part of high tech websites. My presence in cyber land is purposely kept simple, and i guess thats why it stands out, it doesn´t look like anything else that is out there. I´m so granny auntiela old school, i´m new school in a way. Special thanks to Larry Bob and Marc Arthur who maintain the web page, i don´t know what i would do without their love and faithful support.
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Threw an impromptu party at the Cheese Endique Trifecta to welcome Ms. Kim "Joyride"Jones and her husband Monty Messex to Berlin. They brought their gorgeous boys Bela, age 19 and Max age 15 with them. What a joyous hoot we all had, I´m sure my neighbors are cursing me because of all the screaming that went on past midnight. I got up at 6am yesterday to prepare for my London trip so that i could devote the evening to the Messex clan. Also on hand was delightful Marc Arthur and his hungthrob French lover Nicolai, and pretty Joana, one of my Weissensee students and her rock star boyfriend Axel, who is from Australia and had everyone rolling on the floor with his adorable Aussie gallows humour.
So great seeing Kim Jones, who i go way back with. Back before the floods. She and i use to write gossip for the old LA Weekly column LA Dee Da. She was Joyride, and i was Denning Taylor, which is actually my nephews name. His full name is Mark Denning Taylor. He was named after the actor Richard Denning who starred in "The Incredible Shrinking Man". Kim use to hang back then with Donita Sparks of L7 fame, and was in the pre-L7 band The Shrews. Kim and Donita wore some of the cutest outfits that were very late 60s/early 70s inspired with a whimsical punk twist. Those girls had the best fashion sense, and were always the pure life of any party or event. Especially the big Slash Records Christmas parties in the 80s. Kim & Donita were very pranksterish, and Kim could especially get away with murder because she was so darn cute and had southern charm. I believe she is from Tennessee originally. She also use to be the girlfriend of Anthony "The Swan" Kieidis of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. One of these days Kim and i should collaborate on a book about life in LA in the 1980s post punk scene. It would be a best seller to say the least. Kim´s husband Monty use to be the hottest punk boy on Melrose Avenue when he worked at Flip of Hollywood. Everyone wanted him, he was just perfection, and the nicest kid originally from the working class suburb of El Monte or West Covina, one of those bedroom communities south east of downtown LA. Back in the day his girlfriend was Valerie Vaughn who was the most stylish punkette. She and Ron Athey ruled the punk boutique Poseur, and Valerie was like a sex kittenish Jubileepunque Lana Turner in deconstructed sweatersets, all her outfits were far superior to anything worn by punk rocker girls at the time. Madonna even stole a few fashion ideas from Valeri, but of course Madge never had the wicked sense of humour and style sense that placed Ms. Vaughn way ahead of the bell hook curve, let me tell you.
Kim and Monty looked really good, and it was lovely to have a little inter-generational soiree. Everyone was gettting along like they had known each other for years, which is the proper way to mix it up at a houseparty. I hardly ever go to houseparties in Berlin as people tend to stay in cliques, and few German hosts ever provide formal social introductions. Its not part of the culture. I like to plan parties in the manner of the great continental hostess Elsa Maxwell, and she has never failed me.
***
Correction. Correction. Yes Vaginal Davis actually makes mistakes in this hear blog, and when i do they are always stupid. In a report on my Rising Stars event and Tangram Aktuel party is said that Angelika Ramlov is the gal pal of Nanna Heidenreich of Arsenal Experimental. In fact its Angie Baby who is Nanna´s significant other. Somehow i thought that Angelika Ramlov and Angie Baby were the same person, you know Angie short for Angelika. I am such a dunce! Sorry to all parties affected. Kissy

KNATTERN UND KLOTZEN
Dora Lee Klaminsky aka: Peter Wheel is the richest white lady of Ventura County Line. Dora is from the infamous Homo House/Nardcore Kollective and for over 20 years she has also owned and operated the Wilde Planet punque rock gift boutique. I´ve known this sizzling temptress for over 25 years, since she was an innocent co-ed at Loyola Marymount College. Its been a pleasure hosting her at my humble Cheese Endique Trifecta here in Berlin. Dora is a true gentlewoman of California. We´ve been having a hoot of a girlish time, gossiping and catching up on the deaths and anal re-births of a multitude of people that we know worldwide.
While Dora was indulging in private time sightseeing, i met up with the beautiful Empress of the Kino Arsenal and Deutsch Cinematheque, Stefanie Schulte Strathaus. Miss Stefanie is the hardest working woman in Germany, and had been on a North American experimental film junkett, that included a workshop stint collaborating with a host of notable filmmakers including John Greyson. She also had an opportunity to scout the Pacific Northwest with Cheap´s Tim Blue who is on sabbatical back in his hometown of Portland Oregon for the summer. Don´t be surprised if you learn that a new Berlin/Gus Van Sant Land film emporia will be hatched within the coming year, its all part of the Ms. Schulte master plan for creative international endeavors.
Laughing and feasting at the Iskele Fish Restaurant Boat on the Canal was Oliver Husein, the cute and cuddly Jack Smith enfluenced video and performance artist, visiting from Ontario, lovesexyline Bubble Butt-girl Nanna Heidenreich(Arsenal Experimental) with gal pal Angie Baby aka: Olga Anderson. We were all having too good of a time, and were told to keep it down to a whisper. This is fast becoming the trend in Berlin. All these new people who haved moved here are so noise sensitive. If you live in an urban area, you have to expect urban actitivies and their accompanying sounds.
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Saw Kaiser Karl Lagerfeld casually sitting outside of a Kreuzberg cafe one afternoon while on my bike coming from Deutsch Schule class. He looked good for him, and was with some young prissy queens eating al fresco.
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Rising Stars, Falling Stars on Saturday was a super hit. A fast paced Hans Richter shorts program dazzled the crowd, and Kjohnny Blue´s musical accompaniment was all out sublime. I even participated in the music via singing a mini aria about smegma live. The stellar crowd included Astin Brooks, the great grandniece of silent film great Louise Brooks. Astin is following in the footsteps of her famous aunt and has been living in Berlin for 2 years after a stint in London. Also seen schmoozing at the after screening reception in the Rote Foyer: star opera tenor Rolando Villazon, 27 year old Gedächtnismeister Johannes Mallow, Larry Gottheim, one of the most important avant garde filmmakers of the 1970s, with juicy artist Maggie Schneider, downtown New York legend John Heys with polish filmmaker Marcin, vivacious British video artist Daria Neis who got a Germaine Duluc tattoo after one of our screenings a few months back, Hebbel Theatre´s "It Girl" Anna Muelter, The poet Ines, Daniel Hendrickson , the Scandanavian Muslim with the vision that is always Susanne Sachsse of Cheap, and Susanne´s gorgeous 15 year old daughter and Arsenal intern Salome Gershe, Uli of Forum Expanded with sweet girlfriend Magda, pretty New York artist Marc Arthur, art photog Christian Siekmieir, Brian Burton aka Danger Mouse from Gnarls Barkley fame, Piero Bellehomme of the Piero Collezione and handsome Turkish stud Senol Senturk. Assisting KJohnny Blue for the evening and breaking hearts in the process was young Greek Aktive cineste Nicolai who came with his own posse of striking Greek Goddesses.
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My first party at the Cheese Endique Trifecta was called Tangram Aktuell in salute to finally taking German language classes, but it was really just an excuse for a housewarming, and also to introduce Dora to my German comrades. The weather wasnt cooperating with a heatwave, but luckily my old 18th Century flat stays very cool in the summer. I live in the famous leftest quarter of Berlin called Rote Insel, one of the few areas of the city not bombed out during WWII. Daniel Hendrickson provided the delicious menu, and thank god for him, as i don´t know how to cook for more then 5 people. The Sunday soiree was from 6-10pm, and i kicked everyone out promptly when it hit that magic marker as i am old and need to get lots of sleep. The guest list included Wolfgang Tilmans, in Berlin for seven weeks or so, Lydia Hamann with her ginger architect pal, Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Nanna Heidenreich, Angie Baby, Academia Nicole, in Berlina for the summer from London, hunky Turkish delight Senol Senturk, Anna Muelter, Piero Bellehomme, Travis Jeppeson with boyfriend Mario and his big footed Slovakian pal Peter, Marc Arthur, Astin Brooks, Nicolai and his Greek goddess back-up singers, a sunkissed Kjohnny Blue with Nadine of Neu Köln, Michel Pee Pee with his beautiful sister and her perky Indonesian actress friend, stunning Susanne Sachsse, Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, Wilhelm Hein and art photog gal pal Annette Fricke.

THE FIRMAMENTS LOSS
Sad news to report in the passing of Berlin based internationally adored star Gunther Trube, a giant in the deaf activist community, and drag poet muse to Karl Lagerfeld. This legend will be greatly missed. I only met her a few times but she certainly stood out with her warmth, grace and open spirit.

ICH HASSE MODE
Went to UDK graduate presentations, the art school that my NYU intern Marc Arthur has been attending as an exchange student. What an event with lots of activity buzzing the Kleistpark satellite campus. Wasnt able to find where Marc´s performance and film was going to be shown at first, and accidentally discovered Guillame´s lovely film in a basement alcove. Guillame is the cute french projectionist who works at the Arsenal´s Kino 2, and has been a big part of Rising Stars, Falling Stars lately. He goes to the school and is a scruffy Gallic charmer. Also was surprised to see Uli of Forum Expanded. Uli is the ultimate piece of eye candy and is one of my favorite people in Berlin. Wasnt surprised to see Isabel Spengler, as she teaches at UDK. Marc´s presentation featured a Lisa Suckdog look-a-like doing a combative performance that seemed pure Lisa in her early 90s heyday. It was wonderful also to see Marc´s completed film “Letters From a Ruined Dream” where i play a cameo as Morpheus in Ovid´s Metamorphosis, opposite the new art wunderkind DeRohan Chabot who is dreamy in the piece. The boy cant be photographed badly, he looks simply ravishing from any angle. Also chit chatted with Marc´s pretty cinematographer Kim. Had to leave the opening, which was getting quite packed to meet with Travis Jeppeson and Mario at the club Search & Destroy. They had a new toy, i mean friend with them, that they met in Roma named Boris, and i also got to meet Mario´s 15 year old lover from Spain Octavio. Mario had popped the poor kids cherry a few weeks back, at some club, and now that the boy doesnt have a hymen anymore he is ripe and ready to travel that road of Berlin´s newest passed- around-Patty. I have been to Search & Destroy once before or maybe i was at London Calling--- oh it doesnt matter none of these clubs are that interesting, just filled with a bunch of weenagers happy to be anywhere, but there were lots of tourists from all over the world, so it was a little more lively then usual, and i wound up getting into a million conversations. One beautiful humpy dork of a Bavarian boy, who is an aspiring comic named Florian Spieler really caught my eye. He´s a bit on the short side, but has an outgoing personality, and winning smile that held my attention in a big fat tittied way. He has already done the comedy circuit in the states from Hollywood to Colorado, and i could see him really going places. One of his jokes went something like this: i knew Barack Obama when he was still called Cassius Clay. Speaking of Mr. Obama he will be in Berlin this coming week on his way back from the middle east. I wonder if he will sing some of his greatest hits from the early and mid 90s.
Also at the club was Baby Brian, the former concubine of directors Bryan Singer and Gus Van Sant. He was being his regular disorderly self, and had me laughing out loud telling me of his sexual exploits as a high priced juvenile callboy. This is one major hoot of a teenage prostitute, and has shared the bouncing bed with more politicos and entertainment moguls then any hooker this side of Mary Magdelene. In fact he is the new milineums Magdelene. On my way out of the club at 3am i ran into Tim Blue´s lover, David the famed Jamaican concert pianist. David told me that he is moving to Prague. He´s lived in Berlin for more then 20 years, so i have to give him credit for picking up and making roots in some other enchanted garden. David and i are the same age, and it takes a lot for us old gals to purge and start over again somewhere else. I still cant believe i left LA and moved to Europa. It all seems like a dream that i cant somehow wake up from.
I really hate drunks. Walking home some fugly man with bad teeth approached me looking for a hot top to penetrate his sphincter. If he wasnt so drunk he would have noticed that i don´t exactly give off a hot top vibe, but his desperality got the better of him. I left him high wide and fugger, shaking his head and wondering what bunch of beads had hit him over his natty head.
Was invited to the Vivienne Westwood Anglomania show as part of Berlin´s Fashion Week. Poor Berlin still has long way to go in the fashion department. What makes Berlin great is that it is a city that is very much seperate from the rest of the world on many fronts. With Fashion Week that uniqueness is encumbered by a sense of trying too hard, and what a shame. Just relax Berlina and be yourself, salty warts and all, you are not Paris, Milan or New York and never will be which is a good thing. But what really got my goad is that people were bringing their children, including new bornes to the fashion show. Get a friggen baby sitter! Sitting above me was Tan Bihn Nguyen, the divine makeup artiste and my Cheap Blacky scene stealing co-star with his bearded and bubbly friend who works with the New York based designer Kai Kühne. I also ran into Gabriel Von Loebel, the minister of information with the Viennese art kollective Gelitin, who was with his very attractive lady friend Sasha. Most of the crowd was dull.
People in Berlin either dress ultra conservative in a boring way or wild in an icky Love Parade fashion. The same goes way with sex, they either only want to fist you or cuddle and nothing in between. I was seated in the first row next to Kim Cattrall, who is now an a-list star due to the phenomenal success of that awful Sex and the City feature film. Kim and i go way back to 1995 when i co-starred with her in the movie Live Nude Girls, one of my few mainstream films. The movie wasnt that good, but the character Kim played forshadowed her role as Samantha in Sex in the City. Canuckian Ms. Cattrall is a good time Sally of the first magnitude, I am happy that she is getting lots of attention after years of being a Hollywood workhorse. Remember she started her career as a sexy ingenue in the original Porky´s. Ms Cattrall surprised me that she could speak fluent German, which was delighting the massive whordes of photographers surrounding us, and Ms. Westwood who sat on the other side of Kim. Before the photog anslaught Ms. Westwood asked me about my cousin Carla of the pioneering LA punk band The Controllers. Carla Duplantier lived in London and was in the band Jimmy The Hoover, she also modeled for Vivienne Westwood. Across the runway from us sat a smug looking Rupert Everett handsome despite the sour expression on his face. Maybe that look was directed at me because he had read what i wrote about him in Butt Magazine. The best thing about a Vivienne Westwood show is Vivienne Westwood, who is the best model of her own designs. She looked divine, much better then the clunky horsefaced mannequins who trotted down the gangplank. Someone needs to teach these girls how to walk in high heels. Even the one boy in the show, a John Wayne is big leggy blondine looked like he wanted to be somewhere else.

ZANZIBAR HELLMOUND
Had a delightful visit at the Cheese Endique Trifecta with Cyril that smoking hot young ItemIdem French boy, who lives in Tokyo and designed the award winning Japanese store for the German designer Bernard Wilhelm. Joining us was teutonic artist Christian Siekmeier, who is back in Berlina after living in New York for 11 years. Herr Siekmieir will be bringing the divine Billy Miller of STH/The Manhattan Review of Unnatural Acts to Berlin in October for a residency, and the entire city is a flutter with that information as Mr. Miller is beloved internationally.
After getting my ass kicked once again in German language class i got caught in a summer downpour. Thank god Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim is giving me some Deutsch tutoring. I need it! At my Cheese Endique studio i started prepping to film the sensational DeRohan Chabot who at 16 is the new art infant terrible who will soon dominate the international art market. De Rohan is an incredible sculptor,painter, poet, filmmaker, you name it he does it, and is a combination Rimbaud and Passolini all wrapped up in a beautiful blonde French package. I have to send Dennis Cooper a copy of the movie i made with DeRohan after it is edited, as DeRohan is a huge Cooper fanatic and is the living embodiment of a Dennis Cooper novel. This kid is the real deal, and is hyper masculine with testosterone oozing out of every pour, but at the same time he has this intense innocense and vulnerability. After filming we ate some food at a trendy Thai restaurant and everyone in the place was staring at him, and smiling in appreciation, the waiters even treated us to drinks and extra food, and several men approached giving him their card. We decided on having one last nightcap at Tabasco, a hustler bar at Nollendorky platz, what a mistake that was. The old geezers wouldnt leave us alone, and even the hustlers were trying to pick up on him and give him a freeby. My cinematographer, and coproducer of the film short, Marc Arthur who is 21 and a green eyed beauty in his own right was also getting lots of attention, as i walked both boys to the U-bahn some gay tourists from England pounced on them, and were not taking no for an answer, i swear a crowd of 15 men had surrounded us in a two block radius. A police officer noticed the commotion and offered to give the boys a ride home in his car, which they gladly accepted.

COUNTESS OF WARWICK
Green eyed wonder boy Marc Arthur came by the Cheese Endique Trifecta to do some quick pick up shots. Afterwards we went out for dinner and dwinks, and he relayed his recent adventures in Leipzig where he met 4 humpy boys who have not been ruined by urban gay culture. These young studkins inact a semi S&M scenario involving army uniforms and abandoned buildings, where they literally kidnapped Marc for a week and brutalized him in a most becoming fashion where they all took turns pulling a train on him and turning his little boy hole into a man sized channel. It was a Falcon Video Pac from the 80´s come magically to life. Young Mr. Arthur even brought one of the ruggedest of the lads back to Berlin and enjoyed doing during the day what they had previously been doing all night in the former DDR-land. I am so jealous of Marc, he has all of the luck of the ItalioIrish.
Hector Martinez, who i have known since he was 15 and good friends with Fertile LaToyah Jackson´s sister Grace, came to visit me Sunday with his lover of 12 years Erik-La Pierce. The two took a pitstop detour in Berlin from their Gay Baltic Sea cruise. Hector is an executive with the large American insurance entity Affleck. This company is known for their TV adverts featuring a retarded duck. Hector is fortunate to have one of those giant homosexual disposable incomes, as no one else in the states can afford expensive vacations these days. Last year he and his lover took a gay cruise through the Meditteranean. The last thing on earth i would want to do is take a gay cruise and be stuck on a boat with a bunch of wealthy white faggots.
It was nice seeing Hector and Erik-La and getting caught up on LA gossip. One of these days i will have to write about what Hector told me about Christopher Ciccone, the no goodnic fugly brother of pop star Madonna, who has recently written a tell-all about his famous sister. In fact i don´t think i will write about it in this blog as i don´t want Mr. Ciccone to get any publicity on my account. Not that i am a big fan of his sister Mrs. Ritchie, and that she needs my protection, i just don´t believe in slagging the already slaggy.

MAMA SAY KNOCK YOU OUT!
The Lady Miss Ursula Rucker, first woman of spoken word poetry and sacred temple priestess of WoW, emailed me that i was on her guest list at the Akademie der künste in the Tiergarten, so of course i rode my lady bicycleta as fast as my tiny leggs could peddle them. Ms. Rucker who hails from Philly PA is a protege of the great poet Sonia Sanchez, and that shows in every fiber of her major ms. gorgeous being. This woman is complete confidence and poise stalking the stage, possessing it and the audience with the full power that is the unbridled black female vuvunga. And what a face, radiant and defiant, a conquering heroine wo-man soldier fierce warrior goddess fighting for her people. The Literature werkstatt and poesie festival, Berlin were fortunate to have such a presence in their midst. I have to go out and buy her latest album Ma´at MaMa.

ASTHETIK DER INSTALLATION
The Ms. Davis summer reading recommendation is The Cairo Trilogy by Nobel Prize winner Naguib Mahfouz. Won't tell you any more about, just rush out and buy it! Had a lovely breakfast meeting with super hot tranny Wu from Los Angeles who is in Berlin starring in a remake of the Nazimova silent film Salome based on Oscar Wildes play. Directing the movie is Pauline of the Rhythm King. Wu brought me a gorgeous designer boquet of flowers and some tasty snacks, and we had a great time, a couple of juicy tranny's sitting around talking. Wu is one of the new breed of performative youngsters ruling LA, and revitalizing the stale nightlife. She puts on a weekly club at the old MacArthur Park dive The Silver Platter, which is fast becoming the talk of the town with performances by legends like Ron Athey and Nao Bustamente.
Later in the evening i met with Cheap fearless leader Susanne Sachsse, Marc Siegel, Scandanavian Muslim Daniel Hendrickson and his handsome Italian beau Piero for drinks at the famous West Sector Theater tavern Diener. Holding court at the bar in true Konig style was Fassbinder legend Volker Spengler who is a regular ensemble member of playwrite and director Rene Pollesch. I can't wait to see Volker in the next Pollesch piece "Dictator's Wives" which will premiere at the Volksbuhne in September. The great Volker Spengler is a magical human being with michieveous, boyish eyes that are vibrant, magnetic and sexy. What a treasure he is. Everyone who comes to my flat singles out a fabulous photo of Volker and I, in LA from 1999 at my post screening White To Be Angry/Skin Flick party at the dive bar The Daughter of Rosie O'Grady. The night was filled with amazing celebrity in the sensuous, womanly form of Margarita Broich, another big German film and theatre star who is also the wife of famed actor Martin Wuttke who stars in the hit Deutsch TV program Tat Ort, which is a tuetonic version of the American CSI franchise. I also met the internationally known heritage band leader Max Raabe of the Palast Orchestra, and his dapper boyfriend. I have been a fan of Mr. Raabe for many years, so it was very special gettting to meet him in the fleshy flesh.

BABY THE RAIN MUST FALL
Its been pouring rain on and off in Berlin for the last three days. Riding my bike back and forth from German language class has been a little gnarly at times, but also beautiful seeing lovely boys soaking wet so that their clothing becomes transparent----yum. Learning German has been rough. My class is from 2-6pm Mon-Thur with a 30 minute break, and being the morning person that i am, trying to pay attention and retain anything is a trial. K-Johnny Blue is also in my class, and is the star pupil and teachers pet. The two instructors are middle aged gay lovers named Kay and Stefan, and they are very patient and sweet with me, though it must be difficult with such a bad student like myself.
My school is called Babylonia and is a punk rock style laid back language academy in Kreuzberg. There are a few good looking males in the class, a manlische Kurdish/Turk named Fahrad, who Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim would flip for, as he is tiny, muscular with a nice smile and bubblelicious Beyonce buttocks, and a young Australian boy named Reece who looks very intellectual and is soft spoken. There was this young, energetic, lanky Irish lad name Eric but his German was so good that he switched to the more intermediate class. Unfortunately not one man in the class looks like he has a dickus of deathos, so i doubt if i will be meeting my next contemporary temporary husband.
Last night the great Susanne Sachße had one of her stylish dinner parties at her eastside compound. To be invited to the famous oval table of Ms. Sachße is one of Berlin´s most royal treats. Enjoying the feast of Ranchipur was superstar DJ and top Euro performer Snax,who also performs in Peaches´band, infant terrible Travis Jeppeson with Slovakian lover Mario, juicy Anna Muelter, Daniel Hendrickson, Marc Siegel, Susanne´s gorgeous 13 year old twins Salome and Richard, and Richards little cute school boyfriend Jacob, who is going to turn into quite a hunkasaurus when he gets older. I had a breakfast meeting, so i left the soiree early and didnt get a chance to meet Miss Suzi´s new secret lover, the famous footballer Michael Ballack. But i did get a chance to watch with everyone the 1972 film The Baby starring noir actress Ruth Roman and Anjanette Comer. Snax had a copy of this insane film, and you can rest assured that the next production of Cheap will be Cheap Baby based on this cult film with Christophe de Rohan Chabot in the role of the adult baby, Susanne Sachße as the kinky social worker and yours truly as the overprotective mother. I´m so excited about this that we may put on hold doing Cheap Summer, our version of Tennessee Williams Suddenly Last Summer with Susanne playing once again Liz Taylor, mainstream German actor Moritz Bleaubtreau in the Monty Cliff role and Ms. Davis as Katherine Hepburn. We´ll see what happens.
The other evening i had a wonderous time with Lydia Hamann, one of my Weißensee students who also worked with me on the Arrogance of Youth project. We had dinner at a quaint little tapas bar, and dainties at Gemelli´s. Lydia is smart, sexy and uninhibited and one of my favorite Berlin girls. She really knows how to make this city come alive.

SIE WERDEN IMMER GRÖßER
Claudia Gonson, the sweet and perky female husband of Stephin Merritt emailed me that the Magnetic Fields were in Berlin performing at the Passion Church in Kreuzberg. Of course i was there in a New York second with my youthful companion, the lovesexy tuetonic actor David Kross, who just made a film where he plays the love interest of Kate Winslet. Its a nice feeling to be the object of affection from a beautiful boy. Of course nothing can come of it, as he is such a puppy.
So lovely seeing Claudia and Stephin. Claudia was in good voice, and i always enjoy the banter between her and Mr. Merritt, and seeing them in this place of worship just made the whole proceedings extra special and sublime. The Magnetic Fields summer Euro tour will probably come to your town soon, so check their website at www.Houseoftomorrow.com and also go out immediately and buy their new album Distortion that is in bright pink dayglo packaging. One of the added pleasures of this particular tour is that long time collaborator Shirley Simms is with them, and believe you me, this is quite a treat as her voice is prominent in 69 Love songs, the bands opus. In fact you should rush out and purchase all the Stephin Merritt projects which include Future Bible Heroes, The 6ths and The Gothic Archies.
The eye candy of the band is pie faced Asian beauty boy John Woo on guitar and lean& lanky Sam Davol, the on cello, who has the most gorgeous mass of pre-mature grey hair i have ever seen, this side of a young Richard Gere. Both boys have cocks i´d sure like to chugg down on, and receive a mouthful of super yummy excess semen. I don´t know the marital status of Mr. Woo, but Mr. Davol is spoken for with two small children and a petite patrician blondine wife, and he lives in Boston. How do i know all this? Well there was an article about the Davol´s in the New York Times last year that was reprinted in the Hearst International Paper,The Herald Tribune.

YOU´RE SO HAYLEY MILLS
Still suffering a bit from the flying patootis, but managed to go to the premiera of Das Doppelte Lottchen at The Parkauer. Thank god openings at childrens theatre´s are in the morning. Das Doppelte Lottchen was written by Erich Kästner, and is the original story where the 1960 Disney film The Parent Trap comes from.
Cheap´s fearless leader Susanne Sachße stars in the Maureen O´Hara role of the glam mother, and of course her stage presence shines supreme. You want to see more of her whenever she is in front of the footlights. I was howling from laughter with her Shirley Temple homage during a fantasy dream sequence. My Max und Moritz colleguen Elizabeth Heckel and Katrin Heinrich also shine, and Moritz Müller did a fantastic job with the set design, but i felt his cotumes except for Susanne´s left a little to be desired, though i liked the Oscar Levant style tails for Hagen Löwe in the Brian Keith role.
The director Milan Peschel, is a Voksbühne actor, and it shows with all the unecessary screaming action. I guess that is a characteristic of mainstream German plays that i just don´t understand. I would also cut the length by a good 45 minutes, as both kids and adults seemed more then a bit restless by sitting in very uncomfortable seats for 2 1/2 hours.

THE FLYING PATOOTIS
After having a glorious time as the MC for the Gossip show at Columbia Halle, i rode my bike home and started excrementing. I got a similar stomach virus after the Berlinale, that included not only projectile shitting but vomitting as well. Thank god, i didnt throw up this time, and the muscle spasms and cramping didn´t last for a 24 hour period leaving me racked in excruciating pain. Missed German language class yesterday, and a chance to hang out with Tara aka Annie Oaklely (the manager of the Gossip, creator of Sex Workers Art Show) , and the beautiful Ms. Beth Ditto and gang who had one day off in Berlina.
There is no band out there who is doing what the Gossip are doing. Ms. Ditto is a presence to reckon with, powerful and sublime and sexy as all get go. The sold out crowd was enthusiastic and giving the goddess the proper worship she deserves. And there arent enough superlatives to describe Beth Ditto. She shows all the other so called singers how it is supposed to be done, as she drips with southern charm, a smoldering kitten with a whip. Alice Bag, of the legendary punk rock band The Bags and my colleguen in Cholita, the female Menudo was the first person to turn me on to Beth Ditto and the Gossip. Alice never praises other singers, but with Ms. Ditto she was raving!
When i was writing for the LA Weekly i tried to get my editor to let me interview her, but he passed on it----which i am sure he regrets now.
It was so great catching up with Ms. Tara who also produced Homo-A-GoGo, which was the last time i was on the same bill with the Gossip. I also loved hanging with their seasoned road crew, and the caterers cooked a meal that was downright yummy, or as they say in Deutsch "lecher". hope i spelled that right. The opening band of teenagers Pencil Dick, i mean Pencil Toes from London England were cute and juicy putting in a fast paced and wirey enthusiastic set. Its 90 degrees today in Berlin, and i am still feeling a bit sick, so this report will end now.

FAMISHED FOR THE LIGHT ONES
Had a glorious dinner date with adorable and cute Christian F, who was this year´s Berlinale intern and also was one of my talented assistants with the Clubszene project. Christian is 27 years old, but looks 16 and has a gay twin brother. He is originally from Bavaria and has only been living in Berlin for a year working on a Phd on the films of Gus Van Sant.
We ate at this Mexican restaurant around the corner from my punque rock language school Babylonia.
Later we went down the block to have dainties at this charming cafe called Gemelli´s where we ran into Joana, one of my Weißensee students and drag king artiste Antonia Beard. Christian lives on Soauer Str in a lovely little flat that overlooks an enchanted garden.
2nite after class i have to rush to Columbia Halle where i will be the MC for the Gossip show starring the incredible Beth Dito. Her manager is Annie Oakley of the Sex Workers Tour fame. I haven´t seen Ms. Oakley since i performed at the Homo-A-GoGo that she organized in 2006. Should be a fun evening.

VANITY FAITH PAVILIONS
Filmed little Marc Art Garfunkle´s project on Saturday. I play Morpheus with Christophe de Rohan Chabot as my beautiful dreamy, innocent dance partner, where i get to Martha my very own Graham crackers in a terpischorean battle beyond death. A talented French man named Fred, who needs to cut those dreadlocks he wears off, played the most sublime music live, and the set and make-up design was by personable Greek passive Nicolas Zavaliaris, who just moved to Berlin from swinging London town.
Later i met up with Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim, and we went to the so-called alternative Christopher Street Gay in Kreuzberg on OranianbergerStr. What a dull affair. Was going to meet up again with writer Travis Jeppeson and his boy pussy posse, but i was exhausted from filming earlier, and Friday i got to catch up with young Mr. Jeppeson, who at 16 is one of the most talented and prolific children on the planet with writings in all forms that include novels, poetry, journals and journalism, plus he has a giant white penis that is much coveted by men on three continents. His list of older male admirers is endless.
Sunday i decided i had to treat myself to a massage, the triple assault of the Klubszene Project, Filming an Independent movie, and Deutsch Language class has caused a stiffness in my joints that needed a professionals soothing, healing touch. I recruited young Marc Arthur as my companion, and we ventured to the Treibhause Sauna & Spa for relaxation treatments. Poor Marc was pounced on immediately upon entering, with every chicken hawk in the place developing octopussy hands the minute his 22 year old self hit the marble floor. I found it hilarious when a nutty couple were desperately trying to fashion a hot sex scene by acting out shamelessly, fornicating in an open space. The skinny pretend top kept thumping into his lover with gutteral moans and jackhammer plowing. Too bad when he´d pull out his penis it was hardly colossal measuring clit length skinny and under 3 puny inches. What he was hoping for was that he´d excite some passing manheimer who would climb on board and turn him into lucky Pierre, but the crowde at this sex palace are seasoned sluts, who are aware of all the queeny tricks a hungry sloppy bottom may pull in their search for the prized cruel club.
I was really hating a barrel chested couple who were in extreme search and destroy mode for a hot buttered fourgy, later in the evening they actually got their gnut with two dickticusses. Even in a gay sauna the football madness reared its three headed gydra. Germany lost to Spain, but it didnt stop the fans from whooping it up until the wee hours. I am happy that the Euro cup is over, and things can return to some sense of whoremalcy.