PER ANHALTER IN DEN TOD
Work on Cheap Blacky is progressing nicely. Besides Fassbinder´s films Whitey and Beware the Holy Whore as inspiration, Judy LaBruce has added Passolini´s Teorema, Reflections of a Golden Eye and Joseph Losey´s Boom starring Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. We´re also going to use some real life maids and servants in the production---its going to be a hoot!
***
Had a date with a wealthy Belgium man, thanks to matchmaker Hugo. The dude was pretty sexy, with a nice muscular body--incredible broad shoulders, pretty eyes, large nose, lots of things i like in a man child. When he started to mack on me, it was passionate fruitas and babytenderlove. He even knew how to suck titty properly, which is a major plus, as i have ultra sensitive nips. The only thing i didnt like was his pencil dick. It was uber long, but not very thick, and this girl likes thickness in the mitigated area of the thrombone. But i shouldnt be so picky as he eagerly and greedily chowed down on my nasty nappy dugout for hours that seemed like days, so when a man takes care of your garden salad like that, you shouldn´t easily negate him. But lets face it Vaginal Davis is a selfish bitch, and she never gets enough attention from men. I am like a baby bird, always wanting MORE! MORE! MORE!

EATICUS INTERUPTICUS
Love sexy allyoucaneat bruncheon mit fearless leader of Cheap kollective, Susie Su and Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras at Frida Kahlo Bistro in the land of the monster truck SUV babystrollers. Talk about a glam meeting of the minds! We decided that a collaborative project is a future must. The other evening Joel showed me his collaboration with a Toronto modern dance company. I liked the choreography that Joel did much better then the dance troupes choreographer which was cliche barefoot modern dance moves and very bland white peopleish
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My old pal from a million years ago Hugo, who use to work closely with 80s designer Claude Montana owns a most unusual gay matchmaking service that specializes in hookups for dinge queens looking for that perfect piece of jubas jubilee. Hugo charges astronomical fees, and both the snow and dinge must be professionals, to exclude gold diggers and the shiftless. Sweet Hugo let me join the roster for free, and has packaged me as a famous international black artist, newly based in Berlin. Well my profile appeal went skyrocketing through the roof, and now I am getting requests for dates from all over the world by some men who look really sexy in their computer profiles. Who knows how they will appear when in person. Will keep you posted on the results. At worse the men will all be psychos, and at best this will turn out to be a phun experiment that will provide me with plenty of fodder to write about.
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Ingmar Bergman died today. The 7th Seal, Wild Strawberries, Cries and Whispers, Fanny and Alexander, were just a few of my favorites. Tell me yours.
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Cheap Blacky inspiration night with our director Judy LaBruce, set designer Christophe Chermin, production coordinator Anna and the rest of the Cheap gang. We watched for herspiration the 1967 John Huston film Reflections of a Golden Eye starring a mumbling Marlon Brando, Liz Taylor, Brian Keith, Julie Harris, a young humpy Robert Foster, as the object of homosexy desire, and a demented filipino queen named Anacleto who reminded me of the flip gay comic actor and histrionic showboater Alex Mapa.

FOREVER CAMEMBERT
Got word from Los Angeles that Mark Haggard died of an overdose of drugs. Not a surprise there. Last time i saw Mark he was all strung out in MacArthur Park, had lost tons of weight and was carrying a large duffel bag, so i guess he was also homeless. He had been an on-off drug addict for years. More on then off. When he was sober he was a nice guy. The love of his life was a queercore performer named Travis, who wasn´t much known outside of LA punk rock circles. Travis died years ago, and Mark never really recovered from that. He had met a boring wealthy fag from Palm Springs who was very much in to him, taking him on expensive vacations and whatnot, but Mark managed to ruin even that relationship. LA is one lady of a city that destroys people. Thats one of the many reasons i had to get out of Dodge!
****
Was sent a link to an academic journal from England with an essay called Queercore-The Distinct Identities of Subculture, that came out in Feb 1997 by Michael Du Plessis and Kathleen Chapman. The article is one of the best things written about me by an academic. Why did it take ten years before i found out about it?
***
Spent a long lovely day with the baby diaper Joel Gibb of The Hidden Cameras. He is back in Berlin after months of touring. He told me some hot gossip about some new pop star i have never heard of named Lilly Allen, who was coming into his dressing room to do lines of cocaine, and that Jake Shears of the Scissor Sisters wanted Joel as a guest star in his bedroom, joining him and his lover. Joel is a sexy young man, who is desired by many. We went to some squatter party on Casting Couch Allee to see Malte´s drag band play, but i came down with diarrea and we had to suddenly leave and find me a toilet to splodge in. It took me forever to recover, so when i was feeling better we headed to Maria to see Noblesse Oblige perform. Maria is a tired club with awful techno music playing. Thank god for Val and her hot boyfriend who put on a wonderous little performance, showing everyone how its properly done. There´s nothing like london moxie, hurray!!!!
***
Got an emug from Bill Silva of Silva Productions, Mgmt and Brand Entitlement Corporation. Bill produced the Margaret Cho Tour i was on years ago and also now manages Margaret and Jason Mraz. Jason is a cute kid, but i find his music dull, which means its perfect for the mainstream, and that is why he is so successful,that and the hard work of having someone like Bill Silva behind you. Looked at Bill´s website and i noticed he is still managing John Hogan, but not Bruce Daniels the black queen who now opens for Margarets tour. Hmmmmm . . .interesting. Margaret Cho´s former manager Karen is suing both Margaret and Bill. She even sent me an email with copies of the court papers, knowing that i am a big gossip queen and that of course i would report it on my blog, which is better then putting it on a billboard. I never liked Karen, but i´ve always liked Bill who is a silver haired fox. Bill should manage Joel Gibb and the Hidden Cameras, they would be the perfect prestige artist on his roster.

Have a brunch date with a big dick Belgium man, so i will continue this later.

CYBER PORK CHOP
Wonderful meeting at HAU with the entire Cheap Blacky gang, including director Bruce "Judy"LaBruce and lovesexy French set designer Christoff. Later Judy, Christoff and I had lunch at a nice bistro off of trendy Mehringdamm. Judy sez the rushes of his new film "Otto-Up With Dead People" look incredible thanks to the precise lighting work of ace cinematographer James Carman & crew. In the evening Cheap fearless leader Suzi Sue cooked one of her legendary feasts, where i stuffed myself silly. A wonderful time was had by all.

This just in:

The Russian dissident poet and artist suprema Slava Mogutin and his child bride Brian will be leaving Berlin to go back to New York City. The two extremely beautiful men, had been living here for several months as a home base while they spirited the European continent with a myriad of art shows, performances and installations. Wherever they went, major dick envy, skandal and mayhem followed.
I wish i could have seen the boys just once, but our hectic schedules precluded some face-to-face, though we did have some emug exchanges. Slava even directed an art porn film for Cazzo, the Berlin based blue movie company, but the word is that the owner of the company won´t release it. During the filming of Bruce La Bruce´s Skin Gang, this said owner of Cazzo gave La Judy major headache. Who knows what he put pretty Slava through. Lets just say I have been introduced to this man who i believe is named Jorg something or other, and while he is tall, handsome and well endowed, he comes off as the ultimate ice prince. Not exactly a warm, friendly sod. He was partners in Cazzo with LaBruce producer Jurgen Bruning, and that relationship went bust. Herr Bruning now heads his own porn empire slyly called Wurst Films.
Anyways i hope that Slava is able to get what he filmed for Cazzo away from its owner, so that the world can see it. i know i´d sure like to.

MIR GEHT DAS UNEHELICHE
Blacky rehearsal was interrupted by a surprise visitor from American shores, none other then the 6´9 inch Canadian cowpoke Glen Meadmore. My handy decided to go kaput, so poor Ms. Meadmore couldnt get ahold of me, so he recruited Felix Knoke the Das Stern investigative reporter to track me down via HAU and fearless leader Suzi Su. Whew!!!!
Glenda, the Good witch of the East, and I spent a sweet big lady day together, cruising Heisenhide Park for large uncut cock, gossiping, and just being criminally insane biatches. i havent seen the woman in over six months, and i was surprised a bit to see how the many years of negotiating the ickyness factor of LA life has left some wear and tear on her serene visage. The Meadmore is a gentle, pure soul, and i would like to see her thrive to the levels that her supreme genius deserve. She is certainly one of the most underrated stars to emerge from the underground in the latter half of the last century, and i love her dearly.
I was so overcome with emotion, that i had to go the the Frankenstein 5000 pub to soak in gin, and was joined by the Blue Bros.---Tim and Kjohnny and Daniela of Cheap and his beau Piero ala Collezione for more drinking, stinking and living it up.
***
Bruce "Judy"LaBruce returns to Berlin for post production work on his zombie epic "Otto-Up With Dead People" and to direct my new big stage production "Cheap, Blacky . . .Sortof" All this and we´re only half way through the summer.

****

This just in: got two emails from old pals of mine from the 80s.

Kim "Joyride"Jones, who was one of the most fun, pretty and vivacious party girls of the post punk era, told me that her son Bela(after Bela Legosi)is turning 18, and is coming to Berlin before starting college at UC Santa Cruz in the fall. I am really an old woman. I remember when Kim was pregnant with Bela, whose father is Monty Messick, one of the most beautiful of the Melrose Avenue punk rock boys,(remember Flips anyone?) and one of its most desired, by both women and men. Kim and Donita Sparks, pre L7 fame, were the life blood of any Hollywood soiree, and made Lindsey Lohan look like a party amateur. Kim and Donita never missed an Afro Sisters show, and were always the most stylishly dressed in their casual mid 70s action wear.
Kim also use to be girlfriends with Anthony of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who wrote about their lives together in his book Scar Tissue. I was really surprised that Anthony even mentioned Gary Allen, this R&B new wave-ish queen who use to be the on-and-off-again sugar daddy to Flea. Flea is a little more hesitant to bring up his past, which included stints as a rent boy, something that the tabloids and die hard Chili Pepper fans don´t know about, but Anthony not only mentions his hanging out with Gary in the day, but is actually kind of open about his and Flea´s mega homosexy past. Of course i only saw the galleys of his book before it was released several years ago, when i did book reviews for the LA Weekly, so i dont know what made it into the final publication. Ms. Kim Jones also wrote for the LA Weekly as part of the gossip column La Dee Da, and is still a contributor to the paper writing for Calendar on kids events. See what tidbits you learn from me.
And my other more conservative friend Rachel Diaz-Toner who lives in Semi Valley sent me a newspaper article featuring her 13 year old son, his 12 year old best friend and hot girl drummer, and his 10 year old brother on bass, who are getting mega attention as a pre-pubescent Van Halenesque group called Vendetta. The life of Vaginal Davis, will wonderinis ever cease?

TAVERN ON GREEN DOLPHIN STREET
Luscious picnik hosted by Stefanie of the Arsenal and her sweet gal pal Nicole, an academic who teaches in the queen mumland of England. Miss Stefanie owns a giant section of Canal land between the St. Elsewhere Hospital and the Communist Pizzeria, so we ate, drank and laughed the afternoon and evening away on our own private bank. I had a lovely time chatting with the gorgeous Lady Miss Chai from Mumbai, who runs an experimental film festival in that city whose colonial name is Bombay.
****
Why are european nobels always chasing after me. I got a call from Graf Carl-Eduard Von Bismarck who wants to date me, and also from Princess Caroline of Monaco's young son Pierre Casiraghi, but i am not interested in any of them. I'd prefer to do Alex Dellal who is the son of a wealthy shipping magnate.

ATLAS DER GLOBALISIERUNG
One of the peculiarities of living in Berlin is that since World War 2, the city has been in perpetual construction mode. That is why they are always unearthing old bombs that have never exploded, a timeless gift from the allied armies.
Just thought i´d let you know about a wee yet thrilling
hazard i never had to worry about in tired Los Angeles.

***

Decided to run around nude in the famous Tiergarten. It was hot and humid and that was the only way i could cool down. Turned a few tricks, and as i was about to leave i ran into the Blue Bros. Tim and Kjohnny who were riding through the park on their way home from din din. Decided to join them for a drink at the rent boy establishment Bascos. We plopped down al fresco to observe the fleshmarket. Lots of Lulus on parade showing quite the bounty of youthful genitalic splendour. Had a great time drinking with the bros and making fun of the prissy Nollendorky queens. We came back to my studio to drink yet some more, and make plans for Porno Adorno, the opera and our new film project Lingus.

DAS TAZ KURZABO
Went to Berlin Hilton to see underground teen sensation Philippe perform along with special guest Snax, and friends. Youthquaker Philippe is an ethereal delight, whose musical verve was way too sophisticated for the crowd of children, who were happy to be anyplace they can find a nice bag of freshly wrapped dicks. That was a shame because they missed out on the nuance at work, both in musical delivery and in presentation. Aided and abetted by sloshed Slovakian hearthrob Mario, revving the crowd from the sidelines, and the precision of Travis Jeppeson´s cochise bass lines. By the time they got to the P/Snax duet "Lets Call The Whole Thing Off" everything had settled into the crisply sublime. Now thats how you close a hot summer evening.

WENN SIE MIT DER NUTZUNG
At Arsenal for the Swedish silent Norrtullsligan. Delightful flick, the conventions of the time displaced the more lesbianic/feminista source material in favor of standard melodrama, but some key components were able to remain and the compositions were downright lovell. Also great having Ms. Stefanie´s voice ringing through the auditorium translating the title cards from Swedish to German, and Daniel of Cheap from German to English.
Started working on Cheap Blacky. . .Sortof with entire gang Suzi, Tim, Kjohhnny, Dragan Yvonne, Daniela and our new production facilitator Anna. Later went to the Zeughaus Kino at DHM to see Grossstadtschmetterling, Ballade Einer Liebe starring luscious Anna May Wong and directed by Richard Eichberg. Got hit up on by faded tennis player Mark Philippoussis.
***
Back at Arsenal for a special program featuring a screening of Louis Malle´s 1957 classic Elevator to the Gallows, starring the enchanting Jeanne Moreau and a sexy male lead. Wow!
Went to opening of the Weinerstrasse 45 space with Travis, Mario and singer-ex supermodel Philippe. Nice soiree, everyone dressed like a secretary ala the Maggie Gylenhaal film. Got into a robust conversation with a good time sally of a pretty Irish academe lassie. No attractive men at this event, but lots of clever ladies. I should become a lesben.
Tim Blue taught me some new vocabulary words. Twink: a young clueless fag Twank-what a twink becomes once he hits his 30s. Twunk: What happens to a twink when he gets even older, but still demands the same kinds of attentions he was able to attract in his youth.
****
Glen Meadmore called me from holiday at Lake Constanze. Hopefully i will get to meet up with the lady in Berlina.
****
Greek shipping magnates son Vassily Bourikas had a greek actif dinner party where the main course was sheep testicles. They were yummy, and now i am all roid raging. Had a great time with Vass, Stefanie of the Arsenal, Tim and Kjohnny, Evie from bbooks, Cornell, and his hot Budapest stud puppy friend, and Vass´ pretty boy roomie and his sexy gamine girlfriend

MUSIK UND MALEREI
Iranian prinzessinbad via Montreal´s McGill University Leila, and her lovesexy all-girl poontang posse invaded Berlin for phun and phrolic. I am forever indebted to Ms. Leila for bringing me back to the French Canadian wonderland in March of this year, after a six year hiatus.
The last time i was in the land of giganticus uncut meatsis was when i opened up for Margaret Cho´s Notorious C.H.O. tour in 2001-2
Along with baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras and a gamut of Canucks, Francophiles and an uber hung Moroccan stud treat we took over the Nobel Elf cantina at KottbusserDamn Crusty to raucausly celebrate Laila´s 12 1\2 year of living on the planet.
A few nights before i went drinking with teen lovers Travis and Mario who now work as high paid male courtesans via Madame Toucanana and her elite acting, grifting, hooking, hustling, modeling and talent agency.
***
Kjohnny Blue, younger brother of Cheapie Tim Blue is now living in Berlin. Two brothers with penile sizes of 25 centimeters each-----Wow!!!! it doesnt get any better then that. Tim hosted a welcoming party at his flat that included all the usual stars of the scene plus the lovely Stefanie of the Arsenal Kino.
Got to run I am having lunch with the handsome German actor Til . . .

MADAME TOUCANANA
My new number one fan, who worships me the most is pretty, young Bee Schaffer. Ms. Schaffer is the stylish daughter of Vogue's Anna Wintour, and I adore this child. It feels great to be relevant to the flaming youthquakers of the world. It makes me feel like i am not such an old hag, when in reality i am nothing but a bag of a hag's hag.
***
Vaginal Davis is such a whorita. I've been hootchy lately with Raffaello Follieri. What can i say, he has nice genitalia. Please don't tell Ann Hathaway.

DAISY CRACKERS
Went to Recontres Internationales and saw Tim Blue´s cute Dublin, Ireland pal Paul Rowley´s lovely experimental short, "Gravity Loop" on what turned out to be a very long shorts program.
Back in Berlin for short stop---command performance of Max und Moritz for der Bundespräsident at Schloss Bellevue. Took photos with fugly Chancellor Angela Merkel. My exotic beauty turned the heads of the many dignataries. The only ones i wanted to sex with were the boilingly hot security personnel and the humpy waiters during the formal reception.
Last show of M&M at this year´s Parkaue season, regular cast member Denis broke his leg, so Henning stepped in with wonderful results. He brings a robust Gene Kelly athleticism to the role, and had the kids rolling in the aisles with his prat falls.
Will miss the closing party as i am off for gallery shows in Cork, Ireland, Glasgow Scotland and Liverpool. Scared about being in the UK with the terror alerts.

PODIPLOMCI
Vaginal Davis, Vaginal Davis, Vaginal Davis you and your shameless tricking. Two recent lotharios of la diva, turn out to be a pop starlet named Jan DeLay, and a well known actor(schauspieler) Stefan Kaminski. Both men in bed were nothing to write home to grandma about.

PRILOGA GRADIMO ZIVIMO
The gorgeous Professor Jennifer Doyle was in fine form when she presented her lecturina Between Friends at Kapelica Gallery, the day after my performance piece. I've never seen la Doyle so animated and in complete total control. Certainly getting regular sex from a hunkazoid Slovenian contributed to her zesty glow. At both of our performances was members of one of my favorite all-time bands Laibach and the NSK kollective. O and correcting what i wrote earlier, our after party was produced and arranged by the lovely Marsela of Aksioma.
And to all who wrote to me: Yes Marilyn Manson came to the show. What else was there for him to do in Ljubljiana? I think he definately was on the prowl to steal ideas for a rock video. I get so sick of these mainstream rock video directors who appropriate from the performance art world. Why not hire us as an art director so that we can make a little cash$. When you do performance or live art, you are guaranteed a life of poverty, so if someone wants to borrow your so called "edge" they need to pay for it accordingly.
Before coming to Slovenia Dr. Doyle and i partied with British art star Tracy Emmin. Dr. Doyle wrote an introduction for Tracy's work as part of the UK Pavillion at the Venice Biennale. And if you haven't bought Jennifer Doyle's amazing book "Sex Objects and the Dialectics of Desire" rush out and get it today, if its the last thing you ever do.
***
I've been writing about German gay sex for numerous publications including a Frohmer's type publication that will be coming out soon. I will entreat you with a little preview of my take on the gay sauna scene, here goes nuttin:

As a bathhouse benediction queen from way back before the flood i am an expert on gay saunas from around the world. Being that i missed the heyday of saunas during the 70s, the first time i went to one i snuck in underage with my girlfriends from Ventura, CA: Dora, Boofy, Thing, Bigdiq Doug, HomoHaus, Vince,BushBunny, Gommorah, Wednesday, and Quasi. We all went to the legendary 8709 that was, believe it or not connected to the Cedar Sinai Medical Center on Third Street back in the early 80s. This tub was owned by a wealthy fag named Sheldon Andelson who was also a UC regent, and politico. 8709 is probably responsible for the AIDS infections of almost everyone who went to the place including its owner. How i escaped is because i was more of a voyeur and not a participant. Besides 8709 there was M*A*C*S in Silverlake known also as the Men's Action Center and Men's Affection Center. I went to this bath along with my Ventura posse as well and lets say that the sex i observed at these places was beyond wild. Imagine walking into a large room filled with bunk beds and the sounds of large penises slapping sphincter's to a disco soundtrack and giant screen Falcon Videos blazing. Its was downright angelic and demonic at the same time. I've never before or since seen so many huge penises,in every configuration, and the sounds and smells of sex that would leave one faint.
But let me now move to the present. In Berlin there are four saunas and i've visited them all at different times and days just so that my reportage would be fair and accurate.
Lets start with the Triebhause Sauna in Prinzlauber. The best time to go is Sunday afternoons, which seems strange to Americans but thats how it is in Germany. Of all the tubs this is the one with the youngest, cutest, best bodied and peniled clientle, but like everything in Berlin it can still be hit or miss. I really love that at Euro Saunas you can sit around a full bar, have a drink and get some food, but the small town cammaraderie can make it seem like a old lady hen party, which kills things if you want to really get a mack freak on---every man for himself, and that infamous German distance thing is even more prevalent at saunas, where between twinky cha-cha queens and schlager crusties you have to put up with a lot of icky attitude. And will someone please explain why the tuetonics insist on getting their proverbial gnut in the wet sauna, the place where germs incubate the most. If you hang right outside the shower holding pen, you get to see who has the largest merchandise. German penis are exceedingly above average, but like the British Germans are either extremely gorgeous or butt fugly, and some of those large peters are very misshapen. Germans have this weird openness/modesty thing that is hard to explain let alone understand, they are a culture set apart indeed.
The layout of Treibhause is weird, and most of the employees are a complete trip. Why do the most bitter and jaded people always work in saunas? There are a few kids who work there who are sweet, and the best thing about going to these places is the massage staff, you can receive a halfhour or hour for a decent price. At Triebhause there is one ladylooking man who works behind the kasse and bar, who i swear looks just like Carol Burnette circa 1974, same hair, and lips,and he is so heavily moisturized it looks like he put clear nail polish all over his face----but remember Berlin is a place of really bizarre trendy hair cuts and looks.

SO POLISISTI IZGINILI Z VISOKIMI GOSTI?
o my darling ljubjiana, you opened your golden gates to me and i let you drink chocolate milk from my large breastage!!!! I love you!!!! Everyone was so warm and accomodating and extremely helpful. All the juicy collaborators, from the mothers who donated their beautiful healthy white babies to me for the Madonna of Laibachdorf photo series and the VDasVB performance. Shout out to my new granddaughter Isabella, Nina, Pinta, SantaMaria!!!!
I am forever indebted to the generosity, courageous spirit and love shown by event producers Davide Grassi and his lovely and serene wife Marcela Okretic, of the Aksioma Institute of Contemporary Art, who provided Dr. Doyle and i with a pristine villa as accomodations, filled with more food then we could ever eat, that overlooked the majestic Alps. It was so nice sleeping in a giant bedroom on a superkingsize bed that could have fit 45 lovers, and Davide and Marcela even pimped out men for us, so that our orifices were always filled with uber floppy, drippy appendages. yahoo!!!!!!
Everything ran smoothly, and tight tight tight, like a gash, like a wound. And the press coverage was amazing. I must have done 20 interviews and had 30 photo sessions, and all the journalistas asked prostrate probing questions.
It was wonderful being a part of the City of Women festival, and Marcela even produced a gigante party for Jennifer and I attended by literally hundreds at the old squattors encampment. Of course there is so much more to tell, and i will get to it all, i promise, I´m just a little exhausted at the moment, but i promise to give you the details of Jennifer´s lecture, and book signing for her new tome "Sex Objects" so please be patient.

PROBLEM MARKET
sLOVEnia as its spelled in the tourist publicity pamplets is gorgeous in the summer,but because of global harming its hot and super humid, two combinations that can make a drag queen quite ill and sluggish when having to do a performance in a gallery with no air-conditioning. Actually air-conditioning was installed, but with all the people it didnt feel like there was any,so of course i turned into a sweaty disaster. It didnt matter the piece went off without a hitch thanks to the efforts of producers Davide Grassi and his enchanting wife Marcela Okretič,their children Sofia and Dante Vaginal(named after yours truelly) Aksioma Institute of Contemporary Art,City of Women, the Association For The Promotion of Women in Culture, and Kapelica Gallery where the event took place.
Special thanks and kisses should be sent to Sabine Potocki, Katia Kobolt, Dunja Kukovec and all the City of Women collaborators who provided the sexy living sculpture and cherubic baby supermodels for the VDasVB Madonna of Laibachdorf accompanying photoshoot, which took place at Alcatraz Gallery photographed by the brilliant Nada Žgank. The City of Women ladies took Professor jennifer Doyle and i to a sexy luncheon spot, and we laughed like old girlfriends, traded international art gossip and flirted with the hunky boy waiters including the muscular owner of the bistro who is from Montenegro. For more information on this incredible beautiful kollective of women superstar talents go to their website at www.cityofwomen.org.
O and i must mention my incredible stylist, make-up and hair designer Miss Metka Megušar Bizan, who made me look overwhelmingly sensational, so that all the bubble butt, big peniled Slovenian men were dripping to place their manifests inside my dank orifical. I adore Metka,and she is a delight to work with.
juri of Kapelica Gallery was looking as handsome and dashing as ever, as the main art czar of the Balkans he is the point man of the former Yugaslavian country art politik.
Many local celebs came to the show,as well as an incognito unrecognizeable Marilyn Manson who was in Slovenia performing. He came up to me and said hi with some young girl who didnt look anything like his current love interest Rachel Evan Wood, in fact this girl looked more like his ex-Dita Von Teese.
The City of Women sponsored an after party at the Squat Metelkova,where their offices are located, and we all got down until the wee hours.
Early in the week Dr. Doyle took me to a fancy din din at the Lunch Cafe where the 19 year old waiter oogled us to death with lovesexy attention. This boy had gigantic hands and feet, and i really wanted to kidnap him.
Friday afternoon taken to brunch by super stud curator at the Ljubjiana Museum of Modern Art, Igor "Spaki" Španol, where we both cruised the insanely juicy boys in the city center and traded international art gossip. Tonight is Professor Doyles presentation, so hopefully i will get a chance to write some more about this Balkan trip before i leave to go back home to Berlin.

ALL MY sLOVEnia
Had a joyous last evening in Berlin before leaving for the Balkans. My youthquaking escorts: boy writer Travis Jeppeson and his child bride Mario. We all went to see DJ Snax behind the famous wheels of steel at Shwuz in Mehringdam. Cute crowd of young suburban looking subterraneans. Had a great time, but as usual i am too old to stay out late, though Snax warmed my heart by playing Bernadette Cooper (from Klymaxxx fame) black dagger anthem "You Look Good".
Tried taking S-Bahn to Flughafen Schonefeld, but of course the German efficiency, was lacking and someone was cleaning all the rail tracks, so it was almost impossible getting to this Henry Left of Fielding aeroport. Somehow i managed, almost missing my Easy Jet Flight to Venice Italy, where handsome Davide Grassi of Aksioma Institute of Contemporary Art was picking me up. We made a Death in Venice/Don't Look Now Julie Christie detour, and i got to feel like both Donald Sutherland and Dirk Bogarde, with Rhumatoid arthritis flaring up in the feet, and the stale humid air giving me the double d vapors. Rendevous with Professor Jennifer Doyle and her Lubian young lover for the long scenic drive to Slovenia. Davide and his co-producer and lovely, serene Argentine/Slovenian wife Marcela Okretic>know just how to take care of everything, so with print, radio and TV interviews all secured and deliciously coordinated, and collaborators firmly entrenched, i don't need to worry about a power bitchty thing, and i can enjoy the bountiful summer beauty of the city, and its many sun soaked bubble butt male splendours.
Need a good night sleep because tomorrow morn is the big photo shoot called, Vaginal Davis, VD as VB Madonna of Laibachsdorf.

AMOOROSA
Was listening to NPR, Berlin where Pete of Dishwasher Magazine was being interviewed about his new book about washing dishes in all 50 states. I originally met Mr. Pete back in the 90s when i was on the Ben is Dead Winnebego National Zine Tour. Pete was going out with a sweet fiddle playing gal who did a zine about working on a fishing boat in Alaska, i think her zine was called "Goin Fishing"
Glad to see that a really great and deserving person got a book deal instead of one of the usual idiots.
Bumped into the tall, goodlooking editor of the amazing Scrub Magazine on the street in Kreutzberg. He was with that artist from San Francisco, who now is based in Berlin, MC Alvarez, or is his name PT Alvarez?
***
Lovely birthday party for Ritchie and Salome, the twins of Fearless Leader of Cheap Suzi Sue. I adore Suzi´s GDR mom Ellen. She is a living doll.
Trolling the Hermannplotz with Tim Blue, who would go up to humpy Arab men and say, "I´ve seen your countries porn, and I know what you´re capable of doing to your own people!" Which surprisingly illicited lots of smiles.
***
I wish that tiny woman of a film star Tom Cruise would stop stalking me. He just moved to Berlin to be closer to me, buying a villa in Wannsee which is an exclusive Berlina area west of tony Charlottenberg. Major yuck yuck--i hope i don´t run into him anywhere.
Delightful birthday luncheon with Marcu of Cheap, we stopped by bbooks who are opening up a branch especially for Documenta. Cute boy is working at bbooks who has extra large feet. Ran into sexy Chenell who was in Istanbul at the same time that Daniela Romano was there. So great spending quality time with Marcu in our favorite pursuit----gossiping.
Cheap inspiration day watching Fassbinder´s Whitey and the Cheap concert of 2005 by Daniela, Tim & k-Johnny Blue at Hau 2 which will greatly influence our new production which goes into rehearsals in July after i return from Slovenia. Later in evening attended a happy-go-lovely watermelon and vodka party celebrating Marcu´s newly appointed research position at the University. joyous, frivolity abounding!!!
NOTE TO STUPID PEOPLE EVERYWHERE:
Please stop emailing wanting me to perform for free at your tired event or club. Drag queens aren´t just happy to be anywhere getting a little attention. Drag is serious hard work, make-up cost money, so when i beat on a face its to be re-numerated appropriately, anything less than that is insultin, and offensive, and will not be tolerated. So please take heed and only contact me when you know what your budget is going to be and include what kind of honorarium you are willing to offer me. To quote tired McDonna, who i hate, but this is fitting: "Time is $money and that money is mine".

CORNISCHE GAME HENS
Bar popping with 14 year old novelist Travis Jeppeson. Went to the Tom Bar Folllies where they were screening Rican Thug Porn and Arab Blue movies via Citi Beure. Ran into a Euro Creme pup who was in Bruce La Bruces Otto Up With Dead People. The tall gigantee genitalic youth was with his fugly sugardaddy who he obviously was bored with, because he kept ignoring the man and was constantly coming over to hang with Travis and I.
Spent a few days shopping furiously with Cheap husband Tim Blue looking for birthday presents for Ritchie Rich and Salome, the teenage children of Fearless Leader Suzi Su. As always i have a fantastie time with Mr. Blue, and we wound up at the Noble Elf bar in Kreutzberg for dwinks. Tim bumped into the dull German artist Rainer, who looks like a walking fishling, and one of Timmys Bay area pals Arturo was in the same malepussy posse.
Sunday i took a ho stroll and wound up at the tired dreadlock hippie park with the waterfalls. I hate hippies. I blame Perry Farrell of Janes Addiction for cross pollinating hippie culture and punk with his icky Lollapalooza Festival.

joke
whats the difference between a punk and a hippy?
none, a punk is a hippy with amnesia

I swear sometimes Berlin is worse then San Francisco as the capital of bad hair and ill fashion. Dont let me get started about women who dont blend their makeup, and just slop it on haphazardly.
Walked right into the middle of the Mehringdamn Sttreet Fair. The street fairs here remind me of a dirtier Sunset Junction, with shady Afrikan drug dealers, looking for customers and crazy German white chicks to plow.
Bumped into this drag king who has been living in Berlina for over 10 years, but is originally from Boston. I like her dishelveled saggy male bitch tit look. I can never remember her name, but she is a talkative good time Sally, and i like that.

What a small town i live in. Was on my way to the Tiergarten and who should i espy but Doug Upp from Hawaii and his sugar daddy who are touring the continent. They had just arrived to Berlin from Prague and were on their way to the Jewish Museum. What a surprise seeing Doug, i didnt recognize him, he has really aged, he and the sugar daddy looked like contemporaries. When he was young, he was quite cute, and use to make this interesting zine called Bucky Lake, which was like a soap opera zine about the Peyton Place like inhabitants of a fictional town.

The last time i heard from him, he had made an awful video using one of my PME songs and put it on icky You Tube. I told him not to, but he did it anyway, I dont have the resources to sue him, but the guy who financed my CD, and owns Spectre Sonic Records, is rich and will sue him when he gets wind of the violation.
I hate it when people figure that because you are an underground star they can just take your work and do whatever they want with it. I told Doug that he should show his talent, and create original music for his video, dont just steal my music, and attach it to your ill conceived project.

JINX HAWKENSPLUG
Treated to a wonderous breaky by Paddy Aldrich of Toronto´s Walk on the Wildside, the store where crossdresser Wilem Dafoe gets his big white panties, and where the new Hairspray movie bought foundation garments for Johnny Travolta. Paddy brought along her best friend, the famous filmmaker and investigative journalist Eva Jobst, who is from Leipzig, in the former GDR. Paddy and Eva met as penpals in their teens. Eva is a great beauty, and is warm and personable, just like Paddy. I´d love to meet Eva´s 22 year old son who is two meters tall, and wears a size 50 shoe----yum.
***
Went to MonGay at Kino Int´l with Daniela Romano of Cheap. We saw Kiki Monterpernase´s anthology short subject film "Fucking Problematic New York" or something like that. The premise is that lesbians make films about fags and vice versa. That mandate wasn´t followed completely, but who cares? I liked the first two films---a girl jock gets her first pedi-mani cure and two baby dykettes of colour go through the male habadashery ritual of tie knotting----GREAT!
Todd Verow´s contribution featured a portly pepperpot who resembled Margo Howard-Howard, the late downtown tranny who wrote the classic tome "I Was a White Sex Slave in Harlem"
Great seeing Kiki who is always cute and cuddly, and in the audience was a brooding Daniel Belcher of "Skin Flick" and "Raspberry Reich". Later i saw him in high cruise mode at the Tom´s Bar Follies. I am sure some lucky relic got to chow down on his beautiful Swiss Titan bone contendre.
Received two surprise care packaginas from the US of KKK. One from pretty Professor Jennifer Doyle of UC Riverside who will be with me in Slovenia at Aksioma Institute of Contemporary Art. She will be giving a talk about her book "Sex Objects" and of course i will be performing my latest VD as VB parody in the gallery.
Dr. Doyle sent me some make-up products i can´t get in Germany, books, an Olvera Street Mexican blanky, and other goodies.
Handsome Jeff Beaumonte, one of my Club Sucker regulars who was just in Berlin with his rock steady crew showered me with a gamount of gourmet dainties, and luxury items of the beauty potion inclement. When Jeff & Co. were in Berlina they took me for din din and drinks and wildly spoiled the lady. Ah i am reminded of the good ole days of Silverlake before the floods and rains of Ranchipur. A zillion thanks and kisses to Jennifer and Chevalier Beaumonte. I love you, i need you.
***
Decided to go for a dwink at Frankenstein 5000 at Hermannplotz. Ran into Tim Blue of Cheap and artist Matt the cute boy Otter, who is pals with art photog Ryan McGinnley and Amra Brooks the daughter of Joseph Brooks, of Jo& Henry and Vinyl Fetish fame. I had a major falling out with Jo years ago over his chintzy ways, and i wrote about it in a famous article in the LA Weekly, where all of Hollywood congragulated me on being so forthcoming. I didnt know that many people felt the same way about Joseph that i did, i think thats why he got so angry about the dig.
One of my biggest pet peeves is cheapskates. So if you are not a generous person, get thee gone and away from Vaginal Davis!!!!