DEVONSHIRE DOWNS
The last days of the NRLA festival in Scotland---Franko presented an open salon which really picked up a lot of steam. Richard Dedomenici is a scruffy, funny little man who made a hilarious presentation along with Ange Taggert who works with a collective that do a lot of filmed actions. Richard showed himself involved in a loopy piece on the streets of Chicago that was wild, inventive and spontaneous. Europeans can get away with double homocide in America, we always find their accents so charming. Also Chris Barton presented documentation of his work with the Artists in Residence Young Offenders Institution, which featured his baked excrement sculptures. Ms. Taggert and her group involve themselves with such stirling projects as: Cleaning Up After Capitalism, where they go into places like Starbucks with a Vaccuum cleaner and start cleaning. Almost immediately they are asked to leave, but at Barclay's Bank no one even notices. They even have presented these actions outdoors cleaning tram tracks. oh and one project involved a fake business called my dad's strip club. i've always felt it was important to get art out to people on the streets and these young artists are really doing that with gusto and clever art strategies and system interventions. unfortunately they run into resistence in shopping centers, where dialogue that interrupts customer spending isn't tolerated. in an action piece called War Against Shopping, it was hilarious how really young kids responded favorably and were willing to participate and be a part of the parodic pranks.

honey baby i'm all for creating more actions, and really going for that corporate jugular and attacking their profit margins. Regular forms of protest just don't work. no one pays attentions to marches, you've got to device new ways of sticking it to the man, and changing corporate logos like coca cola to Coca Colon, and going into supermarkets and breaking out in a ritualistic worship of the products on display----praying to Whiskers Catfood and asking people on the street---What is the best company to run IraQ?----Mcdonalds or Virgen Airles. now that is my cup of camomille tea.

i'm feeling low energy so i have to report on my performance piece and DJ set at the closing party a little later

LOCH LOMAND
The NRLA at the Arches, Saturday the 12th. for some strange reason i have not been able to get a good nite sleep. i usually never suffer such intense jet lag. my sleep friday night was the best so far, but still underwhelming. There is a lot to report about being at the new moves festival, but i'm not in a very clear space, so please bear daddy with me. Saturday's highlight was a nice lecture/discussion between franko and ron athey that was packed to the high rafters and was very exciting. Ron was his regular fatherly self charming and delighting and he and franko are such brothers that their interaction was very cute together and a lot of issues were raised. Ron really articulated the NEA scandal and his latest with the UCLA class he taught that has become an international cause celebre. everyone here in europe seemed to know about it. of course i almost missed it because the queue was so long at the door. also loved a peace from the art collective Breath where you enter this tiny environment and are presented with a gift of wondermint. of course my tall lady self didn't quite fit in the pitch tent, and my arthritic kneebows started to ache, but sometimes you just have to give yourself up to the art process.
saw two dance pieces one by Jerome Bell who is very popular--was packed. i loved some of the movements and the naked man in the piece had a very powerful built, but with my lack of sleep i just couldn't handle something that methodical. it was lulling me into a deep sleep. and the space wasn't the best for what was being presented.
Michele Murray's dance company was too schitzo for me. one black dancer had the worst body i've ever seen on a black person. no butt and skinny shriveled legs, and he had major bitch titties. is he taking hormones? and then there was a pony tail queen, i wanted to cut that thing off. some of the girls had interesting faces but with this particular piece either be completely avant garde like jerome bell and remake the vocabulary or stick to those stuccato modern dance moves of yore. you can't mix and match. it doesn't work, oh and the music---modern music like the chemical brothers and techno crap-----snore city. there shouldn't have been any music like mr. bell's piece. also saw some cute video installations and a humourous sound installation with a nelly boy going through a strange lament. monday i'm off for london. hooboostooboo

YOU TAKE THE HIGH ROAD
i'm at an internet cafe on st. vicente's street. took a long walk around the city center so that i could see some other people besides artists, presenters and that ilken. lots of very tall ginger boys and bubble butt pale skinned beauties. how i'm going to lure them in to my sex net is another story. . .
Franko was warning me the other day that on the weekends i'd better beware of the hooligans who like attacking ladymen who are bigger then them, becuase it gives them credibility as a street thugette. so far i haven't run into that but i still have a few days to go.
on the first day franko presented a beautifully stunning piece called "Still life" with his living bleeding body situated on a glow warm bed of angel light. the crowd was mesmerized---that franko is a genius at creating an engrossing and powerfully laden image. my favorite part was his re-positioning from repose to doggie then papusa style and then he gracefully walked away with leaving an invisible gown trail.
yesterday i took part in kira's piece which is a one-on-one. you're given a scalpel to mark her body with. very brave of her to share herself in this way. i didn't mutilate her but just gave her pounds and pounds of love affection and gifts, and sang to her. a very sweet exchange. i'm always inspired by miss kira.
i have to return to the hotel and get ready for today's events so i'll come back and write down some more thoughtas later. forgive my spelling and grammer but i just can't get that part of this writing process together.
kalema kalesh!

MY ONE AND ONLY HIGHLAND FLING
Been in Glasgow now for three days---what a whirl! my plane from los ang had elderly ingenue Selma Blair with Guy Oseary of madge's maverick label. i didn't know they were an item.
cute colin-richardson-webb, the NRLA general mgr picked me up from the aeroport. on my plane was the grand madame of performance, the one and only linda m. montano, along with dapper art critic Robert Airs. i worship ms. montano. my movie costumer girlfriend Crepe Suzette worked with her during her Red period of living art. linda is a treasure and so dear. What a highlight meeting her and riding in the taxi to our hotel ibis, which is a little low rent, but i have a nice shower and full sized bed, so i'm not complaining, plus there is a free breakfast, and since i'm low on funds i have to stuff myself and make it last all day.
Franko B. and Ron are already here plus Franko's beau, adorable kristofer who is now sporting a full head of lush hair, super post modern intellect Dominic Johnson, handsome Manuel Vason, and the delightfully stunning beauty that is Kira O'Reilly. Daddy Athey takes me to tea at the famous Willow Tea room designed by famed architec CR Mackintosh. Mackintosh is a fluffier architectual version of Frank Lloyd Wright. We were served by a nice potato apple doll lady and her tight bodied young son with peaches n cream complexion. The NRLA at the Arches across fromt he grand central train station is wonderous. Imagine, a performance event held in a catacombe. The new moves festival is like a performance art convention. its unlike anything i've ever been a part of. its a little on the dry side, but i'm enjoying reuniting with people i've met in the euro performance art scene. linda montano's cute editor of her new book Jenny Klein is like a baby Annie Sprinkle with red bright hair and pre-raphelite skin. We've really hit it off and i love how she takes care of Linda. She teaches at a university in Ohio and wants to bring me out there. i love ohio and those kornfed boys and appalachian hill jacks. one of the performance installations i see is from anne seagrave of france who has a tight male-ish body, like a wound, like a gash, a mixture of hannah from osseaus labrynth with a little bit of la ribot thrown in for good measurita. i liked Canadian Alexis o'hara. she was cute and bubbly in that Canuck fashion i cherish. her piece started off really strong, then veered into laurie anderson as stand-up commedienne territory. of course i was exhausted from my lack of sleep and inability to adjust to the time change, so my meter for everything was a bit off.

met festival director nikki milican who reminds me of hanna hurtzig from berlin's volksbrunner. all the artists are big networking queens, i don't get any sexual vibes from them, so i don't think i'll be getting my proverbial gnut in this city. i had no idea there would be so many presenters, programmers, festival directors and the like in attendance.

The audience is made up mostly of other artists, students and academes, not exactly crossover appeal. just preaching to the subflirted. my arthritis is kicking into high gear, so i'm going to have to continue this report later. hiyawatha!

SIMPLE MAN

THE NOMI SONG, MORE THEN A MOVIE FOR LITTLE GIRLY BOYS GROWING UP

As a young F.I.T. (Fag-In-Training) one of the most cherished, hallowed, inspirational moments that flushed throughout my entire late 1970's being, occured while watching Saturday Night Live. I usually went to bed around 9:30 whether it was a school night or not, since I was a devout member of the Jehovah's Witness sect, and arose early Sunday mornings for proselatyzing door-to-door and on the highways and byways of my South Central Los Angeles neighborhood.

David Bowie however was making a well publicized, rare appearance on SNL, and though i wasn't a big fan of his, i was curious how he’d look on our ancient Emerson black&white monitor, with the limited reception factor of only being able to view channels 4, 5 and 7.

According to negro urban legend of the period, the freaky Bowie had recently emerged from the hospital with his stomach pumped because of swallowing a pint load of Rod Stewart's ejaculate. My mother was already sound asleep so i crept into the living room and kept the sound down low to watch the ensuing brouhaha unfold. To my utter amazement la Bowie in a copycat Tristan Zara was flanked by two exotic looking men in elaborate make-up wearing dour frocks. One of the men i recognized from the LA local disco scene that centered around the Circus and Ginos II dance clubs. On Bowie’s left the popular Chicano queen Joey Arias who had made a name for himself by moving to New York, and was working at the uber trendy clothing hot spot Fiorucci.

The other back-up singer on Bowie’s right really caught my youthful eye. His robotlike movements and high C Susie singing voice made him much more compelling to me then Bowie, who was already at that time a huge international star. The next day after field service and theocratic ministry school I made it a point to call some pen pals of mine who lived in New York and milk them for information. My two Manhattan friends were infamous teenage boy sluts who were familiar with Klaus Nomi, but knew very little about him other then his name. The damage was already done. Soon i would be living full-time in drag in Hollywood, leaving behind my religious life and becoming immersed in the disco, punk and new wave scenes.

So what a revelation that at last there is a documentary film about the legendary Klaus Nomi. "The Nomi Song" a beautiful and compelling film by Andrew Horn, an American who has lived for decades in Berlin Germany. A country that Nomi left in 1974 to seek fame and fortune in New York City. And a country that I am desperately trying to leave Los Angeles for.

Klaus Nomi---the ultimate misnomer of the downtown New York demimonde. This film while keeping the mystery of Klaus Nomi intact is also able expand on the Nomi mythology. I'm certainly not the first fey boy to be influenced by Nomi's well crafted image. I certainly wished I had his singing skills and chops. When he made his debut appearance in a New Wave Vaudeville Review it became one of those defining moments that cemented an emerging art movement. Klaus Nomi was born camera ready for the MTV video era. Before I made a feeble attempt to move to New York in the early 80s, Nomi was on the verge of a global takeover, then suddenly he became one of the first well known artists to succomb to the ravages of Mrs. A.I.D.S. then only known as the gay cancer.

This extroidinary documentary does capture an exciting period with some never before seen archival footage and devastingly lovely, poignent moments. I never met Klaus Nomi but he is certainly one of my idols and outsider art forefathers. I wish I had a chance to experience his magic first hand, but perhaps its just as well that years later I’ve become friends with many who were a major part of his life, like the divine Ann Magnusen or the immensely talented Kristian Hoffman whose career in The Mumps, The Contortions and The Swinging Madisons I followed faithfully, and who I had a major crush on. I knew Hoffman worked with Klaus Nomi but I didn’t know that Kristian wrote some of Klaus Nomi’s songs and in true record industry fashion was ripped off by never being paid for them.

The Demon of Endor spirit that was Klaus Nomi lives on with a new generation who are now discovering his genius and in performers like Antony and the Johnson’s who are his falsetto singing, operetta children of the corn.

LET THE CIRCLE BE UNBROKEN
My Carter Family Tribute nite at Bricktops was a smashing success. Thank you Miss Miriam Jacobsen for writing the hot pick of the week blurb. Glen Meadmore introduced a brand new ditty and everyone in attendance was feeling very open and randy. Lots of juicy underground stars, the best the world has to offer in the form of the legendary rock goddess Miss Jayne County, who is in town looking delicious, and will be DJ-ing a fierce set at Club Screwball at the Parlour on Tuesday. Screwball is Prickle's nite with Don Bolles of the Germs and his lady faire, Darcy Leonard. That should be really hot. Too bad i'll be in the UK performing in Glasgow, Scotland for the National Review of Live Art's New Moves Festival, then on to London where i'll lecture/screen some of my trespass cinema collection at the prestigious Courtauld Institute of Art. I'm so god damn highbrow i don't know what to do with myself.

While I'm away various guests will take over in the hosting department so check the web page under New/News to see what's up during the rest of the month of February. Lots of great performers like cutie pie Creekbird, La sexie Poubelle Twins and Frankie and Tony who hail all the way from Zurich, Switzerland.
Getting back to Friday at Bricktops. Miss Lydia Lunch, the first lady of harsh was also in attendance. She will be performing a scorching set of material on Feb 24th, at the Parlour so mark that down on your calenderia. Of course all this good stuff happens while I'm away. Abby Travis stopped by looking quite perfecta with new beau, who i fixed her up with. I'm such the matchmaker for everyone but myself. Bryan Rabin was the escort for Ms. County and i love Bryan's handsome man look. Also chainmail designer Michael Schmidt was in the house giving glamour like no one else can. The cities best dressed and most exciting couple, Sasha and Mary were looking very grand ole opry. Everyone loves them, and they know how to properly soak in the allure, splendour and pagentry of dressing up. More people need to take their example of how to properly go on the town.

Bricky regulars Shauna Leone, Ming Ma and shirtless Jon Quale were also looking very stylish and elegant.

It was also nice to see Ricky Castro, the co-director of Hustler White with Bruce La Bruce, and his own Plushy/Furry film. Rick has a new photo book out that is graceful and beautiful,published by Mark Harvey. Rick and I go way back, and use to collaborate together on so many projects. We both have strong, dominant, forcefull personalities, so unfortunately we cancel each other out, and that makes it difficult to maintain a regular relationship/friendship with him, but its wonderous seeing him occasionally, as he is quite talented. Also in the crowd Ventura legend Dora! of Wilde Planet fame, and Bush Bunny who has been living back in Rhode Island. I can never remember Bush Bunny's real name. I've called him Bush Bunny for over 20 years as he was known to frequent the bushes and shrubs of the various parks in Ventura County cruising for sex. And of course he would wind up arrested---ALOT. He's infamous for having sex up in a tree at weho's blow job park, and falling from the branch as the person he was fellating began to orgasm. I love ole BB he's a good time Sally! It was also dear seeing Michele and Jason of Woodpussy and of course the royal lady of Santa Barbara County Ms. Barbara, aka Mrs. Marilyn Manson. Barbara is such a genuine and graciously divine lady, and she brought an entire bus load of fun loving Santa Barbara supporters of Glen Meadmore, and honey Ms. Meadmore needs and deserves all that love and support, because she is a treasure.

WE OH WE
This emugwai comes from the lovely Claudia Gonson of the Magnetic Fields who is the female husband of Stephin Merritt.

Friends,

I thought I'd send out a general mailing to you all to announce that Stephin Merritt is now a DJ.

With another friend, he co-DJ's an evening of 60's bubblegum and psychedelic music at an East Village bar called the "Clubhouse", Monday nights.

The night is called the "Incredibly Profound Tentacle", and there's a very sweet drink they serve there for $5 called the "Pink Tentacle", which will give you a headache in the morning...

Come by and have some candy!

Clubhouse
Ave C/9th Street
East Village
Monday nights, 9pm on.

with love,
Claudia

HASPEN BROGEL
This little emugt from dapper LA Times Style Editor Guy Trebay:

Vag,
Sorry to miss you this weekend in Los Angeleez (hard G, as in The
Grifters.) The conference thing I was doing turned out to be all day Sat.
at U.S.C., near South Central, place of your nativity. Arrived in driving
rain, was whisked to conference at near dawn and never saw daylight (if you
don't count the sun shining out of Tom Ford's butt--he and I were
officially billed as being in conversation) again until late afternoon, by
which time the city looked as beautiful as I ever saw it, the air scoured
clean, even the San B. mountains visible. Was going to call or try to get
over to Bricktops, but fell dead asleep in my glamorously empty suite at
the Standard downtown, w. its beautiful view of L.A.'s lively population of
ragamuffins and sun scorched trolls.
Next time, I guess. Hope all goes well.
XO
G.

***

Bricktops on Friday was pure loveliness. It was a Stella Dallas party in honor of Barbara Stanwyck and everyone showed up in tacky vintage outfits worth their weight in goldine. The luminous Kitten DeVille filled in for an ailing fishnet floozy, Anna Bells and boy did she show them how one becomes the queen of burlesque! Kitten is one hell of a dazzling performer and sex goddess supreme. And she balances it all with being a Xurbian wife and mother. She does it all!!!! WoW!!!
Also the Whoracle et Delphi made some startling predictions about a Tsunami attacking the west coast soon and another edict that was too much for hostess Madame Bricktops to relay. Perhaps she'll tell it this week. The high falutin celebrity mix included designer Shauna Leone, movement artist supreme Jean Spinosa, intermedia sex worker Zeb, taxi dancer Buttons Sinclair, Del Marquis of Scissor Sisters, Caleb Followill of the Kings of Leon and hunky turkish/german director Fatil Akin of the new super hot movie "Head On".
This week will be a salute to the Carter Family with Canada's favorite son, Glen Meadmore performing.

COUSIN KOUSINE
KISSING COUNSINS
I’m in trouble with the Secretary of State. Yes, thats right. I’ve made fun of her in public by singing some ribald songs about her relationship with President Shrub. Who can forget her classic Freudian slip when she let slip out during and interview calling Dubya , "Her husband" Well she actually called me on the phone asking me very nicely not to mention to the media that we are related. She's already confirmed so i don't understand why it matters now. Who would ever figure out anyway that I’m a not so distant relative of Condi, even though we do look a little alike. But now that she has formally asked me to distance my family connection, I’m going to start talking about it non-stop. Up until now I've been rather nice about it, and black drag queens are rarely nice.

So here it is, la familia "T" for all the world to know: Condolezi Rice is my cousin, and actually she’s my first cousin. Until she got involved with the president she was basically a non sexual dyke. Wound too tight and way too brittle, more so than any brittle blonde i know. Thats why she's remained a lesbian virgen, but she is definitely bumping bush with Mr. Dub. Who I’ve heard from reliable sources doesn’t have a very large penis but does have a giant mushroom headed knob. Both Diane "I Am a Man" Feinstein and Barbara Boxer were too lenient with Condi during the senate hearings, at least Babs challenged her, but not enough for it to count.

THE VOORHEESCYCLE DIARIES

This little emug came to me from hot hunky latin hungthrob Ceasar Vega who is doing his Che' thing and retracing the Guevara steps through South America.

Greetings

Happy Everything!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My apologies in advance for the length of this message lots to tell,
I´ll try to be brief, as my trip winds down i thought id send some
highlights your way.

PERU
Lima: underwhelming, although in the seven hours i was there i did
manage to find a casino with a huge nativity scene at the front door and then a
restaurant that was showing a soft-core porn soap opera on tv, they also
served chicken soup with corn nuts in it. i guess it wasn´t so bad.

Cusco: truly amazing, beautiful, the people are great but there is noise
polution like crazy, cabbies honk every few yards all day and all
night - i don´t know why.
Coca leaves never tasted so good - really, nothing happens but you do
avoid altitude sickness and i guess thats what happens. Also, the
prostitutes are very short here.

Machu Picchu: YOU ALL HAVE TO GO.

Lake Titicaca: slept in a straw hut on a floating island in the middle
of the lake where the people have no electricity and cook in little clay
stoves - unreal!

Bolivia: Ever wonder where all the trash goes that you see on barges and trucks
all over the world? It all goes to Bolivia, mainly La Paz. The landscape
is amazing but your chances of finding a bar of soap and toilet paper in a
bathroom are much lower than seeing a woman hack apart a roasted pig
with a machete during a bus trip somewhere. This country will make you
appreciate simple pleasures like washing your hands or wiping your ass with
something other than newspaper. Also, I had never seen an entire family pissing in
the street before.

Uruguay: Nice scenery, Montevideo is quiet except for the coked out guy in the
room next door to me that wanted me to help him double team a girl he had in
his bed "she´s pretending she´s asleep but she´s really not" is what he kept
saying, I guess i´m getting old - but at 7AM i needed coffee more than
a 3-way. Really.

ARGENTINA: I love this country, it feels like home - not like LA but comfortable.
I´ve gained about ten pounds since i got here i swear i´m becoming a
vegetarian when i get back home. They are bigger meat eaters here than in Texas,
blood sausage never tasted so good, I know it sounds sick but it is good,
it also looks sick now that i think of it but it tastes good, now that
i´m writing this i realize that the consistency of the blood sausage is also
pretty disgusting but it indeed tastes good, go figure.
This city is busy as fuck, you have european architecture and a pace
that is fast and furious cab drivers run the streets as if every fare was
part of the indy 500 and bus drivers drive as if they were in mini coopers -
lots of bad tattoos everywhere, you can smoke in cabs, restaurants, AND
you can drink while walking down the street, my favorite - LOVE IT!
My shoes were smelly as hell by the time i got here after walking
through mud, rain, Bolivia, etc. and i was a bit tired so the same day i found
one Chinese guy that washed my shoes and another Chinese guy that gave me a
massage, both with Argentinean accents - Thank Buddah (the Chinese are
everywhere) I felt like a new man.
The people are great here, cab drivers know everything about everthing
and are not afraid to tell you why the country is in bad political shape or
let you in on the conspiracy that the Chinese (the yellow giant) have in the
works to change the rate of the earth´s movement around the sun in order
cause "natural" disasters and slowly conquer the world. On the street when
you ask for directions people tell you which way to go so you dont´t get
mugged, you can see plenty of fistfights on the train depending on the
neighborhood you´re going to, its not uncommon to see a guy with his
wife and two kids zooming buy on a motorcycle, and yes lots and lots and
lots of beautiful girls.
CASQUE D'OR
And this from the super smart global editrix Glenn Belverio, I love him so much. He's brilliantine!

HI Doll - it's ok to blog this one....it's about my day today at Kelly Cutrone's office:
I show up at 4:30 sharp at the offices of People's Revolution to meet Australian fashion designers Tsubi (Yes, the ones who released live rats on the runway in Melbourne 4 years ago). The elevator doors open and I step into the room, right into the middle of a camera crew who are filming a very loud jazz-rock ensemble from the Balkans who are performing a few feet away. I timidly sit down next to Kelly Cutrone, the firebrand publicist who owns People's Rev, and when the pounding drums and screaming saxophone stops, suddenly the camera swings in my direction and a boom mic is hanging over my head. "Introduce him", orders a woman holding a clipboard. My brain is completely frozen - it's 10F outside - but I try to take it in stride. "Kelly, what the heck is going on?"

"Oh, E! is shooting a reality show about me producing my shows for fashion week" she says casually and then "THIS is Glenn Belverio, the HOTTEST fashion writer in NY and the world. He writes for the super-snooty Zoo magazine AND he's a Communist!"

"I'm NOT a Communist anymore!" I protest to the camera. "That was LAST year!"

"Oh right, I forgot. You're only a Communist when you're in China", Kelly retorts. Just then the designers from Tsubi wander in and one of them has just stepped on a rusty nail while working on his new store space. Kelly brings him some antiseptic and he runs to the bathroom. The camera crew kicks the door open and starts filming the bleeding barefoot Aussie and Kelly muscles in next to him and delivers her sales pitch "This is Nick from Tsubi, one of Sydney's hottest designers and I'M doing their PR!"

While I'm chatting with the other Tsubi designer, Kelly sweeps toward me with the camera crew in tow and gestures grandly in my direction. "And NOW - Glenn Belverio will interview the designers from Tsubi!"

"What!?" I panic "They're going to FILM me looking at their clothes and muttering 'oh wow, this is great'? What, do you think, I'm going to interview them on camera and make them cry like Barbara Wah-Wah would?!"

"They sick rats on fashion editors and YOU think you can make them cry?" a wise-cracking intern in the corner quips. She reminds me of an 18-yr old version of Birdie in "All About Eve".

"Ok, they won't film it" Kelly decides judiciously. "Hey! The yoga instructor is here! It's time for People's Rev yoga hour! Follow me boys!" And she flies into another room with the camera crew chasing after her.

THE DOUBLE HEADER
Is the name of the oldest gay bar in the country with the same owners, located in Seattle's skid row of Pioneer Square. I love this tavern---it screams history is made at gnight. I'd like to do a Bricktops, Seattle. Of course there wasn't enough time on this particular visit.
Academe Sonnet Retman brought me out to the University of Washington for a lecture series that also involved Robert Lopez of El Vez and The Zeros fame. Robert lives in Seattle and owns his own home. It was nice seeing him after what seems like ages. I haven't been to Seattle since 1996 when the Center of Contemporary Art (CoCa) last brought me out. I use to come almost once a year. Boy has the town changed since the post dot.com crash. I didn't recognize the town. UofW put me up at this cute hotel in the University District called the Watertown. Very modern with cute boys working the front desk.

After my lecture, there was a sweet reception and i chit chatted with a bevy of beaufiful young grad students. Yummy. Later the same evening i presented a juicy selection of my experimental film ouvre at the North West Film Forum. Nice crowd and the managing director is my olde Coca pal Susie Purves, who is as sweet as she can be. I received some good press, in the Seattle Times, The Stranger and even "The Gays" wrote about me.
The tall lanky director of the NW Film Forum was really sexy with his thick eyewear, and so was this young filmmaker boy who was wearing a Russian Babooshka hat
. I didn't have any major romantic escapade, and that was disappointing. Oh welp.
My good dinge queen pal, Jimothy Jones of Zero Hour fame was a wonderful hostessa taking me to the nearbye hamlet of Ballard. Which has become the new boho enclave. Loved the bars and buildings. Jimothy lives in the Queen Anne section of the city and i stayed a two nights with him after being in the hotel. He has a thai roommate and has become a lesbian with two very large cats. Ran into my former Club Sucker partner Dale at the Eagle bar, where i gather he has become the house queen. Dale seems a little sleepless in Seattle, but he looked good. I didn't realize Seattle was such a crystal meth haven. Is Crystal taking over the known world? If i'm going to become a drug mess, I'd better hurry.

O and Jeffreyland Hilberts muscular younger brother Kurt, who use to be a straight frat jock, and is now the belle of the Seattle bar scene. Kurt is a living doll, and supported me by coming to my screening with an entourage of lovely pals.
My time in Seattle ended with a giant country breakfast at a soul food cafe, that Jimothy and his sexy new boyfriend Thomas took me to. Thomas is a professional baseball player and a stud, when he gave me a hug goodbye i got to be wrapped in the strong, secure arms of a real no nonsense masculine man. Boy was it ever exciting and thrilling.

BRISKA/BRASKA
O Bricktops you never fail me girl. Honey child you are the best. Last nights Fred and Adele Astaire celebration was enchanting with a capital Q. The Hobo Jazz Band with Marquis de Gras were incredible. Such a lovely brotherhood of young boys all hailing from the Redlands area of California. I even sang "Shoes with Wings On" with the kids and almost managed to remember the words. Boy i really have Junior alzheimer's. The notables in the crowd included good time sally artist Tulsa Kinney, Richy Rich of the hot New York label Heatherette. I haven't seeen Richy since his days as a NYC klub kid. He's still the fun loving party boyzette, he's always been, and he brought two sweet girls as part of his posse. Mulholland Drive legend Rebekah Del Rio and her hot German girlfriend also partied down until closing. Rebecca is always the sexiest and best dressed in the room. I have to get her to perform again at Bricktops for our Delores Del Rio fiesta. Mr. Uncertain was looking very sharp and classy in top hat and tails. He always cuts a dashing figure, and i can't wait till our reunion in March. We're even going to compose a brand new song for the occasion. Pretty Shauna Leone said she will design me a new dress. She's so talented that i can't wait to wear one of her couture creations. Some adorable visitors came to the club---an elegant young couple who are grad students at the Art Institute and a lively eurasian youth from Missouri.

HEISMAN TROPHY WIFE BOY
Poor naive 21 year old football playing beauty Matt Leinart of USC. He's being used by hunky Nick Lachey as a semen bank in that olde school manner that faggots worked back in the 1970's, which i have to admit is a pretty clever piece of manuevering. Well he has to use that tired blonde big titty wife Jessica Simpson for something, so why not some suddenly last summer style procuring. My spies say that Matt is a true innocent, and never suspected a thing, even when the sex boiled threegy's were reduced down to a same sex duet. Since Nicky has such a hold on the kid he should advice him to stay in school his senior year and not let himself be drafted into the evil NFL, the gayest place on earth for discarding men after they've drained them of their youth and vigor.

***

Bricktops last week was very special with Nomy Lamm the gifted singer, amputee activist and writer performing with her band Tricrotic. They came all the way from San Francisco during the height of that crazy winter storm. Nommy & Co are from Chicago and are touring the country. Her co-horts Marcus Rodgers a handsome F2M plays drums and his girlfriend Erin Daly is on Violin while Nomy sings and plays accordian. They are just brilliant and I'm so glad the Bricktops kids appreciated their winning efforts. Also on hand was Don Bolles of the Germs, his ladylove Darcy Leonard form Club Screwball, Creekbird, Melissa Sexchester, Jedidiah Smith, Shauna Leone, Jean Spinosa, James Medina, Bricktops best dressed couple who are just downright charming Sasha & Mary and the first lady of harsh, the legendary Lydia Lunch.

***

Big Daddy Ron Athey cooked an amazing East Asian meal for me the other night at his Silverlake compound that warmed my heart and pallette. We talked about all the important things in life until the wee hours. My dadster is something else.

YO SOY UNA MUJER PECADORA
My article on Joel Gibb of Canada's Hidden Cameras and The Pretty Things in Zoo Magazine is now on the stands. Zoo Magazine is the new hot fashion glossy edited by the great Rebecca Voight of Dutch. In fact Zoo has risen from the ashes of Dutch. I'm on deadline right at the moment trying to finish my article on Guin Turner and I will write about my recent performances in Slovenia for Zoo, so all i will say about having been to Lubjljana is that i had a marvelous time presenting Visions of Excess. It was a huge success. All the men are tall and everyone speaks English and Italian. Pivo means beer and pobro means good. Oh and Slovenia is the suicide capital of Europe. My entire stay it was grey. Dark grey and light grey but lovely, and very wintery. The event took place at a 16th century castle with an adjacent chapel where Ron Athey and Julianna Snapper performed "The Judas Cradle" I did an excerpt of my new piece "Orifice Descending" with musical accompaniment by the avant garde orchestra BAST. Visions was presented in association with handsome Davide Grassi's arts collective Aksioma and Gallerja Kapelica which is run by Uri, who is the art czar of all the Balkans. The breakout artist of the spectacle were locals Eclipse who created this nasty interactive video game where the joystick is a dildo and you play it with your hatchet pussy. Oh talk about Ms. Packman. I was put up at the Lubjljana equivalent of a boutique hotel called M. Very pleasant and insightful trip, and this is coming from someone who hates to travel, even if i have to because its my job.

***
Bricktops New Year's Eve Courtesan Masked Ball was spectacular of course. Brian Grillo and his Grillo Follies were supurba!!!! Brian is amazing and he had able assist from juicy Abby Travis and that miracle known as Mink Stole. Brian and Mink's Bob Fosse choreography at the end of their set really went over well. I can't wait till Mink does her own night, most likely in February.

Of course i didn't get one kiss the whole evening but i did see Brad Pitt downing some of our holiday concoction Nigg Nogg with his bony wife Jennifer Anus-tin. What were they doing at Bricktops? How did they find out about it?

I guess Gwen Stefani's party wasn't interesting enough for them. My spies who had been invited to Gwen's told me that Brad & Jen never made it, and that Gwen's soiree was filled with Eve Harrington's looking desperately for a Margo.

At Bricktops everyone was dressed to the 8's and 9's. I loved the outfit that hot young white rapper Rye Berg was wearing. He was dressed like a concubine cowpoke and The Ditty Bops also looked really cute. Tom Morello who use to be in Brian's band Lock-up and Rage Against the Machine was helping Brian's brother dispose of props after they were used on stage and Jenny Lens, Augusta & Don Spiro were capturing all the majick on film. Sexy, chubby movie cholo Jacob Vargas(from the new movie The Flight of the Phoenix) and his entourage came expecting a surprise show by Morrissey who told me he wanted to sing some B. Lillie and Gertrude Lawrence songs. Well maybe he'll show up one day this month and do it. Why are Latino men so into Morrissey?

MOCK-DEVOTIONAL ECSTASY
One of Vaginal Davis' all time super heroines died recently, NO not Susan Sontag though i did admire her. I'm talking about the first Colored person to seek a major party nomination for president, and the first negress elected to Congress, where she served for 13 years. Her name was Shirley Chisholme and she was also also one hell of a dagger doddle, having had a lesbiana relationship with comedienne Jackie "Moms" Mabley. Shirley was also married to a couple of men for variety purposes. My favorite Shirley Chisholme quote:

". . .I hae grown to detest many of the white Northern liberals who are always ready with rhetoric about equal opportunity in jobs and education [However] when the time comes to put the heat on, in committee and on the floor, and do something, like passing an amendment or increasing appropriation, too many of these white knights turn up missing,"

My sentiments exactly.

***
go to http://www.camazotz.com/misc/sphere.jpg
for the most scathing film review ever written

***

And this from the great white north via Bruce "Judyline" LaBruce:

did some one leave a cake out in the rain? oy. you think you’ve got problems, ladygod? the whorelydays are really dragging me down, down, down, sucking me out to sea like a tsunami. i just got back from my parents’ farm where I spent three days in too-close proximity to my three witchly sisters. i couldn’t figure out if it was shakespeare, chekhov or woody allen. actually it was kind of like interiors down on the farm. two of them had their pussy whipped mates with them (actually very nice fellows), so there was eight of us crammed into this little snowbound farmhouse breathing down each other’s necks. plus my youngest sister, who suffers from depression, has three or four cats, and she was pet-sitting two dogs and another cat, so it was like a menagerie. you couldn’t be alone for one second of the day. three days seemed like three weeks. there’s no where to go, so we just went snow-shoeing everyday back to the bush. it was so chekhov. we say a snowy owl. my dad is a clint eastwood fanatic and there was a marathon of clint’s movies on tv so it was all clint eastwood all the time. i guess it could have been worse. i was really missing the muslim (Bruce's ex-boyfriend) because he usually sees the humour in those sorts of situations. since the muslim has been gone i’ve been trying to forget my sorrow by getting fucked up a lot on drugs and fucking everything in sight. it’s kind of working. i haven’t even seen Zoo Magazine with joel (lead singer of Toronto's Hidden Cameras) in it yet. check out the next tank magazine for a spread i did recently with the naked boy knitting model i shot for honcho, justus’ ex boyfriend (but we won’t hold that against him.) he’s 20 now, and a little more manly, so they’re pretty hot. this cute argentinian stylist from london flew over and we shot it before xmas. the photos are nice, but i don’t know what tank will end up doing with them. tank is sort of like zoo’s rival i gather. this little stylist’s name was francesco. you would love him. he’s very stylisty, very particular and kind of snobby – you know, like all stylists. normally i don’t like stylists – i only like them when they want to work with me, and make the effort to come to toronto to do it. then i like them. like romain, the french one from tetu. i think i’m going to go to paris in early feb to shoot another tetu spread. i’m going to do a little variation on breathless, which i just watched again up on the farm. when jean seberg looks at belmondo through the rolled up magazine and he’s sitting there with a cigarette and then it jump cuts to a close-up of the two kissing, i cried because it was so beautiful. i do that now. it must be age. i also cried when jean seberg asks the novelist she’s interviewing at orly what his greatest ambition in life is and he says “to become immortal, and then to die”, and jean seberg turns and looks straight into the camera with a really sad face. it’s as if she knew that she would soon be a dead legend. sad sad sad. i love her. so some asshole complained about my website so paypal won’t let me sell my stupid raspberry reich t-shirts anymore. fuckheads. don’t they know art when they see it? do i have to draw them a diagram? heathens. well, buck up for the new year, lady. don’t worry, judy will be coming to town soon. tell me all about the balkans. i’m going to zagreb in a couple of weeks. miss you much. xx x blab

more bruce on bruce:

omigod i must have mad cow. i forgot the best part. ok, so just before i
left for the cruel farm i watched passolini's salo, the perfect christmas
movie. (i'm writing about it and some other obscure dirty movies for
nerve.com.) i watched dusav makavejev's sweet movie as well, which also has
a lot of people shitting and drinking piss and vomiting and stabbing each
other in the genitals. it's sort of like the upbeat version of salo. so then
i go to the farm and on christmas day some genius cable station is playing
the exorcist and i watch about a half an hour of it before i get scared and
have to turn it off. i watch it in the "back kitchen", as we call it, this
room in the farm house that has a wood stove and that is very cozy, but it's
also where my sister is keeping the dogs she is sitting - a fat black lab
and a shitzu mix. so the next day i wake up and the house is in chaos. one
of the dogs has had diarrhea and shits all over the room. also the toilet has
backed up and run over upstairs and no one can find the plunger. and my
father wakes and feels something wet on his face, reaches up and realizes
that he's bleeding profusely from his nose! circle of blood, circle of shit!
it was bizarre. merry christmas! x blab

WEINENDE MANNER
Barbara Young the lovely first and only wife of Marilyn Manson, as far as I'm concerned, cooked a glorious holiday meal for me and Glen Meadmore at her Santa Barbara compound. Glen and Barbara are madly in love with each other, but don't realize it. Hopefully one day . . .

Of course i stuffed myself silly and Barbara's sweet friend from South Afrikan via Mozambique, the Lady Carole, made these delicious bourbon balls that i devoured in an instant. Its nice to leave LA ever so often during the tired Pagan adopted Christian holiday melee.

Bricktops on Friday was very raucaus. Everyone was in a get down 2night kinda mood, for our Pagan/Druid/Wiccan celebration. The buxom burlesque ingenue Penny Starr Junior performed a scintilating salute to Charles Dickens and that divine Princess of Hollywood Pleasant Gehman was the Sugar Rum Fairy. I've known Plez for a million years and she gets younger and younger. I love that she's such a good time Sally.
Famous punk rock photographer Jenny Lens dropped by and is another lady who loves life. She also is looking really good and healthy. Rev Dan of Stella's StrayPop on KXLU popped in with a dapper smile, and Diggie Diamond of Foreskin 500 who just moved to Los Angeles from New York. I also shared a kiss with Canadian art star Marcel Dzuma---boy is he one hot child. I could give him mylast paycheck. Too bad i don't have a paycheck.

GEGEN DIE WAND
Thursday i was the last minute replacement for Extreme Elvis at the UCLA Live John Waters Christmas Party. Hector was my assistant for the day and we arrived at Royce Hall around 2pm beating the traffic and getting the chance to hit all the T-rooms on campus. Lots of lovely boy beauties abounding. Ran into sweet David Pendleton of the UCLA film archives. I adore David, he performs in Mark Simon's The Boyfriend review and speaks a million languages just like my pals Marcu Siegel and Daniela Romana who are living at the moment in East Berlin. In the Sunday Times there was a big article about expats in Berlin and Marcu was an interview source.

My artist liaison at UCLA was a sweet lil girl named Ajna who had a labrador retriever that insisted on sniffing at my cooze. What is it with dogs and my cootchie. Well i guess i should be happy that someone wants to sniff at it. Can someone also explain to me the connection between white people and dogs or just pets in general. My mother use to say that people who cannot handle intimate relationships with other humans become obsessed with animals because an animal will just love you unconditionally where its a bit more complicated dealing with other humanoids. I can barely take care of myself, so i'm not a big fan of pets or children. Sorry.

The UCLA event was cute. I found out that this Extreme Elvis characters is kindof GG Allin like, throwing his feces about and doing enemas on stage, so thats probably why i got the gig. Soundcheck went well, but then at showtime my backing CD was having trouble playing. Good thing i was able to establish a good rapport with the audience, so i recovered somewhat nicely. And they make union wages at UCLA?

Producing John Waters Christmas special is Ian Brennan who is the fiance of Lysa Flores who is in Alice Bags band Stay at Home Bomb. I had a nice time chatting and hanging with Phranc, the famed Jewish Lesbian folksinger and cardboard cobbler who had a bunch of nifty products for sell including her handmade cardboard tighty whitey, bra, & panty christmas decorations plus some of her collectors item CD's and records. I can't wait till Phranc performs at Bricktops doing her Gertrude Stein salute Phranc-n-Stein. its going to be amazing. I also enjoyed the comedy stylings of the very sexy Marga Gomez. She's really adorable. Flirted with a lot of cute coeds and grabbed some bountiful packages. I was wearing my haute couture Alexander McQueen holiday dress and everyone wanted a picture with me. Got to rub shoulders with Water's alumni Adrian Grenier(Cecile B. Demented) Matthew Lilliard (Serial Mom) Brendan Sexton III(Pecker) Ricki Lake looking beautiful without any make-up with her hunky new beau Apollo a big dicked Rican. Thank god she got rid of that user husband Rob Sussman or whatever his name was, who never had a job. Ricki told me that i was soooo right about him. Always listen to Ms. Davis. Mink Stole was with Dennis Christopher and they both were shining like platinum. Mink will be performing as part of the Grillo Follies at my New Year's Eve Spectacular. Mr. Waters was hilarious of course. He was dressed really nicely in crush velvet and wickle picker shoes. That man can make a dead dog laugh.

The next night was Bricktops. Richard Halperin, Mr. Tin Pan Alley was performing a salute to Al Jolsen. Boy can Richard belt and croon. What a major talent. We started the show pretty late as it looked like very few people were going to show up. Then suddenly out of nowhere it was jam packed.

It was great seeing burlesque goddesses Penny Starr Jr and from NYC Dirty Martini plus the Hobo Jazz Man who took thank god, took that nose ring out. He's so handsome he doesn't need modern prim affectations. It was also a pleasure to welcome the most stylish couple who come to Bricktops Miss Mary Pagone and Sasha Fuentes. Their outfits always match and are pure genius. I also love Melissa Sexchester, Jean Spinosa, Swedish designer Morgan Olsen and Shauna Leone who never fail to excite the crowd with their socialite graces.

John Waters graced us with his presense for a moment before he had to whisk off to his next gig. Casey Afflect and that horndoggy Alexander Payne of the wine movie Sidelines or whatever its called were arguing loudly at the bar but the real rebel rousers were the rockstar contingent of Alex Kapranos, NIck McCarthey of Franz Ferdinand and Brandon Flowers the singer of the Killers. They arrived drunk, and left even drunker. Thats so Bricktops folks.

Today I want to go see the new Almodovar film and then run around with last minute errands because I'm off to the Balkans for Visions of Excess. Everyone is converging at the castle in Lubljana. I can't wait to hang out with the NSK avant garde.

LITTLE JUDY KELLY
These ramblings from our favorit Canuck, Bruce "Judy" LaBruce:

oh yeah, i saw the Galiano thing in tetu. he totally ruined the tony ward hustler white look. added mucklucks and chains and his cowboy hat was too big and new looking – he made him look like
a faggot eskimo cowboy.

i’m sure you look glamorous, like jeremiah johnson. i dunno. i’m all confused about the muslim now. i vaseline between getting all emotional and torn up that he’s leaving and kind of thinking that it might be all for the best. he definitely has to go back and sort out his destiny and her child. ah well. you know me. i’m like you. a loner with a boner.
ha ya here comes the gay divorce. i saw him on tv getting married or something too! he’s always been soooo politically correct. get this. scott thompson is making a reality show for canadian tv about gay marriage. he finds gay and bulldagger couples who want to marry and sort of acts as the wedding planner. it’s really bizarre. he says all the couples are totally dysfunctional and their families usually hate them. figures. xxxxxxxx blab

kisses

RASPBERRY TRETREICT
It has emerged that the brains of three leading members of the urban
guerrilla group, the Red Army Faction, including its leader, Andreas Baader,
have disappeared after being preserved for scientific research.
The ghoulish revelation comes just days after the daughters of Ulrike
Meinhof, another of the revolutionaries, finally won permission to have her
brain returned for burial.Her brain was also held after her suicide in jail in 1976.
The group, also known as the Baader-Meinhof Gang, began a campaign of
political killings and kidnappings of senior business leaders in the 1970s
aimed at overthrowing the state.Theft possible The leading news magazine, Der Spiegel, now reports that the organs of the three members were removed for scientific research in the 1970s, only to disappear.
The three, Andreas Baader, Gudrun Ensslin and Jan-Carl Raspe, killed
themselves in jail in 1977, after first a kidnapping, then a jet hijacking
failed to secure their release.

Richard Meyermann, head of the Neurological Research Institute of Tuebingen
University where the tests were done, is quoted as saying he could not
account for the disappearance of the organs. They might have been moved to make way for other objects and then finally burned, he said, but he could not rule out theft.
Meinhof damaged It emerged last week that tests on Ulrike Meinhof's brain soon after her death cast doubt on her fitness to stand trial.
The investigation showed indications of brain damage resulting from an
earlier operation. But the latest revelations indicate the authorities had a morbid fascination with the revolutionary killers and the motives for their violent campaign. It emerged recently that an unauthorised death mask of Andreas Baader had
been made by one of the medical team.The news comes amid concerns that a series of films about the violent 1970s have portrayed the killers as pop icons.

LADY BE GOOD
This little emug sent to me from the great Bruce "Judy" LaBruce of LaCanada in Toronto.

you sound like mary beth hurt in interiors. wait a minute. you are mary beth hurt in interiors. no i don’t know about the other designer who did a bruce labruce hustler white collection. who might that be? i can’t keep track of everyone who rips me off – er, i mean pays homage to me. i just got back from berlin and stockholm. in berlin i ate bad sushi and just barely got accomplished what i needed to. in stockholm i was on the jury for the international film festival. i saw about 18 features and 14 short films in a week. it was fun, more or less. some astoundingly bad films, but some really good ones too. we gave the top prize to a french film called l’innocence, directed by gaspar noe’s girlfriend, about a very strict, bizarre ballet school for little girls. it was macabre. we gave a special mention to another french film called l’esquive, about muslim teenagers in the suburbs of paris who put on a play. the kids are incredibly sexy. we gave the best short to a godard/passolini type anti-american manifesto from haiti called the gospel of the creole pig. i’m back in toronto now, and dealing with the sadness of the muslim moving back to africa again on december 9th. there is a piece about my relationship with him on nerve.com, and another one in the new blackbook. i have a retrospective in zagreb, croatia at the end of january, and i’m going to the mar del plate international film festival in argentina in march. then i will probably be coming to la to shoot gangbangers. i may come in january for some meetings. how are you doing, dolly lamb? x b

LE ROI DE COEUR
John Drew Barrymore aka John Barrymore Jr. died. He is the father of the actress Drew Barrymore, and i lived next door to him in the 80s at the famous Villa Rosa Apartment building on Sunset at OrangeGrove Avenue. He was a very bizarre man, who at one time had a group of deathrock junkies living with him who turned his apartment into a pigblanket. I have to admit that i do have fond memories of that particular building. i use to run the Hag Gallery out of that apartment. My opening parties were legendary. Everyone scored a hot thrombone at those infamous gatherings,everyone except the hostessa. What else is new?