GIRTHDAY PARTY

My formal girth celebration with Frank Rodriguez of Club Sucker was held this year at MJ’s on Hyperion(formerly Woody’s) We wanted to have a dance party and the newly redesigned homo moderne club made it convenient for us. Bar manager Tom Walker was very gracious and courteous, so was his staff. The high tech equipment took a while to get use to, as I’m not technically oriented, but once I started the first round of spinning, I didn’t want to leave the booth.

Guest DJ’s included Sit n Spin/Trade legend Jeffreyland Hilbert-UK, Monkey Bone, Glenn Masculine, and Sexnation Matt. We premiered new films by Ste’Eve Harrington Hall and Lil Papa’s Triatheletes, Wrestling Champs and Showering Jocks Montages. Yummy.

Tons of celebutants partook in the proclitities: Entertainment 2Nite producer extroidinaire, and legendary punk beauty Jane Cantillon, Meesh and Selene Luna of the Epiladies, director Darren Stein(Jawbreaker), Heather Cassils and her high holy Toxic Titties Collective, Daniel Bruhl of "Good Bye, Lenin!", Nuyorican poet Willie Perdomo, fighting promoter Raul Garzon with his handsome Tijuana boxing champ Erik Morales, Silverlake socialite Rage Brenna, Ron Athey, Electroclash godfather Dave Harrow of Technova fame, writer Lisa Teasley, make-up artist to the stars Jeff Judd, filmmaker Laura Nix, Rob Zebrecky and Arthur editor Jay Badcock, LA Weeklytes Steven Mikulan and the lovely Sandra Ross, derma tex guru Eddie Gilmore, Sony Pictures Exec Michael "Twee" Dykes, Stuart Townsend (without Charlize) designers, Marky Magdaleno, and Morgan Olsen, Lyor Cohen, the former chief execuive of Island Def Jam now with Edgar Bronfman’s Warner Music Group, Kent William Albin with some writers from Fashion Daily, Visionaire and Women’s Wear Daily, Marvina Jones, writer and independent curator David Cotner, Professor Jennifer Doyle, F2M film editor Billy Rich(Black Hawk Down) and Mrs. Michael Glass of Amok Books fame.

KINGS CROSSING

Had to get up early to start my yard sale in front of Daddy Athey’s garage at his Silverlake compound. All my collectibles that have been in storage for 2 years and are finally within my ladylike grasp. I’m trying to sell as much as I can to finance my moving to East Berlin. Amazingly with no fanfare I sold quite a lot. Had to end the sale early because my Italian pal Andreas was arriving at my studio from London at around 3:30. Of course the subway and busses are not running on schedule because of the damn Acadamy Awards. I hate the Oscars. I haven’t watched it since 1983 or 84. Its so dull, how can anyone in their right mind stand viewing it. People I know who’ve been to the ceremony said that its even more boring in person. If I’m ever nominated I promise I won’t attend.

Took my guest for a bit of sight seeing on Hollywood Blvd. He was disapointed at the tacky clothing stores and lack of glamour. I don’t blame him. We ate some pizza and then had some drinks at the Spotlight Pub. The hustlers were hideous except for one very young, but very womanly boy whore, who would have been attractive if he didn’t gesture so much or talk. He really ruined it when he started lipsynching to Shania.

We ended the evening at the tired sauna. I warned Andreas that it would be mostly speed freaks in a tweaky frenzy. Surprise, surprise I actually got way laid by this giant handsome visiting Brit with a huge willis, giant muscles and thyroid eyes. Poor A. didn’t find his prince Harming, though as we were leaving we did see this little blondine dork, wearing glasses with an amazing body. Of course whenever I have sexel I need to eat immediately, so I had a late nite snack at Popeyes, which was filled with nutters homeless waifs, sociopaths, skitsofrenics, and the icky bridge and tunnel kids that go to all those lame Hollywood clubs.

Woke up early to resume the yard sale. Nice having A helping me. Daddy Athey took him to catch his bus to San Fran where he’ll be till Thursday then back with "The Doll". Made some good sales and had a power bitch meeting with Kirsten of Outfest. Seems like they want us back, after the disaster of Platinum Snapmeat. Kirsten has brought together a great new crew including Moj who is a delight----Very organized and cute.

SO THIS IS LOVE?

Was the theme for Bricktops as we saluted high C susie Grace Moore. Julianna Snapper the musicalogist and intermedia Opera diva, sang to perfection, looking ravishing at the same time. Her accompanyist Linda Kernahan added a gentle, delicate touch in her piano playing that gave the proceedings an ethereal quality. Ms. Snapper and Ron Athey are collaborating on a new piece that will premiere in England called the "Judas Cradle" based on, of all things, the Inquisition. One movement in the new piece is titled, "That Disassociated Feeling" Pure geniustata.

Making the pilgramage to Bricky’s to shower praises on Heather Cassils and her Toxic Titties posse, Rage, Sean Griffin, Dame Darcy, Gwen Kahn, Toby McGuire, Sofia and Roman Coppola, Ron Athey and his butch realness Swiss beau Maxmillian, Miss Morgan Olsen who made Ms. Davis’ stunning gown, Tre Cool(Green Day) Tim Armstrong (Rancid), The Herbst Twins,. Europa, Meesh of the Epiladies, Kent William Albin, Shauna Leone, Sylvia Rhone CEO of Elektra Entertainment (without her gal pal Missy Elliot) and John Fruciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Bricktop sang a new ditty that went like this:

Bricktops, Brickbottoms
tops, bottoms
sloppy bottoms, mud slides

it takes its toll
one never knows what
will come out of an olde bung hole

BABY THE RAIN MUST FALL

And boy did it last night going to this tired party for Fashion Wire Daily at this new ugly bar/restaurant called Bliss that is anything but. The only reason i went was that my New York pal Kent who use to be the minister of informacion with Fischerspooner was connected, but i didn't see him anywhere, and me and my companion Christine Pelisek of the LA Weekly were appalled at the FUGLY crowd, bad music and overall tepidness of the scene. And a party without FREE FOOD is no party. The licquor sponsor Extreme, well lets just say i hope this company goes under, and Bliss will most likely be closed in less then a month as well.

WHAT WE DO IS SECRET

Thats the name of the bio pic of Darby Crash and the Germs. Shane West is going to play Darby. Thats a good choice. He's young and cute and does resemble him in way. Though i think they should use Shia LeBouf. Shane is a little too old now. Bijou Phillips as Lorna Doom is fantastic casting. This is a secret, so please don't tell anyone, but i tricked with Shane a few years ago when he was coming from that 24 hour gym on Beverly Blvd near LaCienega. I don't remember the name of the gym but its connected to where Malie Finn has her casting offices. Shane is quite the dinge queen, and i put on a masculine ghetto thug act, since that was obviously what he was in the mood for. Lets just say this. He wasn't shy. And i have his underwear as a momento.

One of my good girlfriends is getting a divorce. She is handling it extremely well, I'm proud of her and love her dearly. Another one of my girlyfriends, the famous Fertile LaToyah Jackson is getting married. And no she isn't preggers. Fertile's day job is an elementary school teacher. She just bought a house in a beautiful section of Pasadena, and now is getting hitched. I'm so proud of her. She's finally grown up into a responsible and committed young woman.

Hector, the Scandanavian Mexican cooked me a delicious birthday dinner last night. I'm really working my birthday so that it will last a year. My formal party is this Thursday. I hope it doesn't rain on my Streisand parade.

KISS THEM FOR ME

Getting an avalanche of emails about the erotic short "Wo ist Manfred" i made with Swiss uber hunk Cyril Kuhn for Bricktops. All i can say is, "its about time someone put humour back in the bedroom where it belongs!"

ONTARIO CONTRARIO


This email just sent to me from Joel Gibb of Canada's brilliant musical group, The Hidden Cameras. Joel is also in the latest issue of BUTT magazine

vag, hey there nice to hear from you. what you been up
to? I have been finishing up a new record called
mississauga goddam and am going to scandanavia next
week, i can't wait for the men.....
summer sounds like a possibility, sex motel yes, hook
me up babe
Joel

INVITATION TO THE DANCE

Dinner with Daddy, Yuroslav "Slava" Mogutin and his modern dance lover Raul Dumas at the Bitchen in Silverlake. Of course I arrived way too early and went next door to the KnackBar for a dwink. Bo the sweet burly bartender, was feeding me stiffies entreveneously. Daddy found me sloshed and dragged me to supper. Everyones brothers uncle was eating at the Bitch on this night. Sitting next to us was Lord Andrew of Gould and his lover Lenny, the young Elder. In the next room was Juan Fernandez, his boywife, Tad Coughenour and some visiting dagger royalty. Then Glen Meadmore pops in with his tranny girlfriend Nekko followed by Professor Doyle and her Frenchman Laurent. It continued like this the entire evening. After eating we popped back into the bar to hear Mrs. Michael Glass DJ his soul classixxxxx. Of course Slava and Raul turned all the male heads. That cha-cha designer Jose of Exit One fame has a new mail order child bride. Where does he find them? Of course Jose's young boy prize wanted my visiting Europeans who were eager sanctioned for dragging him back to their hotel in Venice.

CHAVEZ RAVINE

Went to Cyril’s Solano Canyon studio to finish the editing on "Wo ist Manfred" our little erotica project for Bricktops. Cyril is a genius. He made the film look just like a silent era blue movie. I can’t wait to premiere it on Friday.

FVLANTIN FURIA

My beautiful English husband Lord Andrew, gave me some wonderful birthday presents and cooked me an incredible vegetarian meal that consisted of a carrot & corriander soup that was pure deleaven!

Later in the eve "Firecracker! Bill Haines Nite" at Bricktops was over the proverbial top! Mark Simon and London’s premiere big peniled singing group The Younger DeGenerates[Severin Behnin, Robert Durham, Bill Gorin Chris Khurt, David Penddleton, Stephan Schilling, Nigel Teixeira and Sara Schilling.] tore up! Their performance was so political and humorous and the singing was electric.

What a lovely crowd of kids. Its good to see people wearing fancy outfits. I hate jeans, T-shirts and trainers. My opening song expressed my fashion philosophy:

"What shall I wear to Bricktops?
My Frankie B Low Rise Jeans and a chain wallet
or a velvet gown or Tuxedo"

Lots of luminaries in the audience. British "It" girls Lady Victory Hervey and Tara Palmer-Tomkinson, who hate each other. Luckily the club is big enought that they didn’t have to rub shoulders. Also the delightful Henry Peck, who is one of the originators of LA style clubs and is also a dynamite DJ and hair burner. Guin Turner popped in and was actually looking very sober. Kirsten Schafer the head programmer with Outfest, just came back from The Berlin Festival and was in high spirits, regaling me with stories of her Deutchland adventures. It was also good to see Rudy Bleu of Scutter Mag, artist Albert Cuellar who is always dressed to the 9’s. Albert is an urban pioneer. He has lived in a house in Watts since 1986. He bought it then for only $25,000. Not many Hollywood hipsters can claim that they live in Watts. Cathy Opie is the only other caucasion artist that I know of who lives south of the Santa Monica Freeway. Osseus Labyrinth use to live in South Central but they moved to Echo Park recently. It was also fantastic seeing Mrs. Michael Glass, of Amok Books fame, songstress Abby Travis who told me that the Viper Room isn’t owned by Johnny Depp anymore and that she got stiffed by the new owners after doing a recent show. Looking juicy was Vera Duffy of the Velvet Hammer, Ginger Goldmine, choreographer Jean Spinosa who just moved here from San Francisco and is charming all of café society, Don Bolles of the Germs, Animal Charm, MOCA maven Karen Lofgren, Jamie Luner(Melrose Place) first lady of harsh, Lydia Lunch, Shia La Beouf(Holes) Michael Pitt (The Dreamers) Richard Velasco, designers Zac Posen, Proenza Schouler, Dutch modern dance god Raul Dumas and his boyfriend the beautiful Russian Rimbaud, Yuroslav Mogutin (Gang of Foreskins). Swiss experimental filmmaker Cyril Kuhn created a beautiful erotic pastiche called "Wo ist Manfred" featuring Ms. Bricktop and the movie delighted the audience to no end.

MEMBER OF THE FIFTH ESTATE

This little emug from my New York based fashion guru:

GLOBAL VILLAGER: Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the airport, Glenn Belverio - aka "Global Editor" - will be jetting off to Italy in two weeks, Associated Press has learned today. The globe-trotting trollop has been invited to visit a German village tucked away somewhere in the Italian Alps, near Turino. "I'll never forget the month I spent there researching goat leather for our Italian hiking boots", J. Peterman of J.Peterman catalogue, Belverio's employer, recounted fondly when he heard his prized copywriter was flying the coop. "Despite Glenn's problems with opium addiction and his anti-social behavior toward cake parties, his writing skills make him a valuable asset to the company. We hope he comes back soon."

"Glenn's Italian-American heritage and Teutonic intellect make him a natural for covering the German scene in Italy", spit-fire feminist Camille Paglia commented. "He'll take the Alps by storm."

After repeated calls to Belverio's cubicle, we finally reached the elusive writer for comment. "The Italians really know how to throw a press junket!" Belverio shouted over the cacophony of clicking typewriters. "After two weeks of Burger King and pizza, I'm looking forward to some sauerbraten ravioli and Black Forest tiramisu. Now, I have to get back to my copy....we're on deadline for a section on men's twill pants. I've called it 'Triumph of the Twill'."

LIFE REGAINED

Frances Partridge of the Bloomsbury Group died in London at age 103. The Bloomsbury Group was one of the wackiest of the famed literary sets during the 20s. The members consisted of Virginia Woolf, Lytton Strachey, Dora Carrington, Ralph Partridge and EM Foster. They were all held together by spit, aesthetics, sex and suicide.
My literary set is called The Doomsbury group and consists of Ron Athey, Lisa Teasley, Kembra Pfhaler, Glenn Belverio, and Bruce La Bruce. I hope that at the end of this century I’m still around to be the diarist for my Gritish partners in grime.

Anderson Cooper was my Valentines Date on Saturday. We aren’t really lovers, its just that since we both were Miss Lonelyhearts on the day of questione, Mr. Cooper decided he would romance me with all the trimmings. Luckily we weren’t the only samesex couple at the lovely fancy Korean BBQ moderne diner on Olympic at Western. It took forever to get a table, but it was well worth the wait. The new generation of Korean boys, sure are hunky and masculine. I was wanting me some of that rice, rice baby. My only complaint is that the lighting needs to be dimmer, especially around the bar area. It was nice and dark in the large patio section.

After supper we shared a bottle of vino and watched Rueben Mamoulian’s brilliant "Applause" starring Helen Morgan,(an early Valentine gift to me from the sweet boys of the Science Holiday Art Collective).at Anderson’s penthouse suite at the Ravenswood, the apartment on Rossmore in Hancock Park that was owned by Mae West. We also wanted to watch the "Lost Films of Science Holiday, but it was almost 1am, and neither of us could keep our eyes open.

THE WEEK THAT TWAS

My gallery sent me to Vansterdam, in yet another attempt of finishing the editing process on my Berlin Stories. I filmed the material in 2001 when I was living in East Berlin for six months. I’ve been slowly putting it together when my Canadian reps fly me up. They hooked me with free editing time from this big healthy, cornfed boy, who actually does all the technical work, meaning he pushes all the buttons and does exactly what I tell him to.
I just say, "I want it to look like this, and he makes it happen." This kid is about 26 and works on boring mainstream movies and TV as his dayjob, so the chance to collaborate with a great artist on personal films is a treat for him. He doesn’t realize that he’s my eye candy treat. His radiant youth and uber masculine beauty is simply dazzling. He’s my favorite type of humpy white boy, one who doesn’t know how good looking he is. After spending such intimate time with him its difficult coming back to Los Ang. Boys here in my hometown are too self aware, and that always ruins it, at least for this little tiny lady.

Dadster took me to lunch at Café Des Artiste. Eric Estrada was sitting across from us. He looks good for a middle aged, dimunitive Mexican man. He really puts the double "D" in dimunitive. He’s got to be 4 foot nothing. LA Weekly Books Editor Debbie Vankin was also having lunch at Des Artiste. She was with a woman from Distributed Art Publishers. Deb wrote the great cover pull-out on Koreatown that the Bleekers recently released. I was one of the first people to talk and write about the gem that is K-Town, and this was way back in the 80s with my zine Fertile LaToyah Jackson. The lady from DAP gave Ron and I their latest catalogue to pick out new releases that we may want to review. I really stuffed myself at lucheon. Everytime someone treats me to a meal, I act like its going to be my last. One never knows----it just might.

Later that evening Lenny the young Elder and Andrew of Gould escorted me to the Disney Hall Redcat Theatre to see Atrid Hadad and Los Tarzanes. I’ve seen her now about four or five times, and she’s magnificent. Those ill costumes, and that incredible voice. I love how she wears these giant hoop skirts that expertly camaflouge her turnip shape. Her face and eyes are really expressive,framed with that gorgeous long black Lebanon hair.

Ron brought the great actor and living beauty legend Juan Fernandez and his dancer/beau Tad Coughenour to the show. I simply adore Juan and Tad. I’m responsible for them meeting at one of my !Cholita! shows. I can always matchmake everybody but myself.

Did my regular rehearsal for Bricktops with Mr. Uncertain. I came up with a new song for my opening and it goes like this:

Oh Pretty George Dubya Shrub
Rub a Dub Dub
The war president
His boyfriend is war

He’s Mr. Madame Death
he lives for death
so kiss him and smell that thelemic
Halle Berry-tosis Breath

Later at the studio I watched this screener I was given for Barbershop 2 starring Ice Cube, Queen Latifah, Cedric The Entertainer and Jane Fonda’s hot young son Troy Garity reprising his wigger role from the first movie. Most Hollywood sequals are dreadfull, but this one at least tried, so I have to give it some credit. I loved how they used the gentrification angle. Of course the best parts are the "dozens" antics and cutting up that is a real part of an urban Barbershop experience. My mother use to take me to those kind of Barbers to get my Quo Vadis haircut back in the 60s and 70s. I really find Ice Cube sexy for a chunky black man. I adore his moles below the right eye that form a perfect triangle.

My former Club Sucker partner, Frank Rodriguez took me to eat at this delish pupuseria on Pico and Vermont. We then checked out some dive bars around that area as a possible location for our annual birthday soiree. The bars either had bad lighting or only served beer and wine. All our friends and acquaintances are hard liquor drinkers. We stopped by Shatto 39 Lanes Bowling alley on Vermont near third to check the bar there and the lighting was just dreadful. They did have a coffeeshop connected, but the art director in me, just couldn’t get around that bad lighting. I guess we’ll settle on having the party at MJ’s (formerly Woody’s Hyperion) the redesign of the place is a bit precious, but its close by and they have a dancefloor. We’ve never had dancing at our yearly shindig.

Bricktops Friday was pussy tearing. Mr Uncertains jazz combo Uncertain have come in to their own. The addition of a stand up bass player who is Scandanavian, and is like a young Mr. Paganini just sent shivers down my timber spine. When I asked Mr. Un where he found his new band member he told me that he was at a late nite taco stand in tired West LA and there was this group of kids who were all wearing amazing outfits, which he relayed is unusual in and of itself on the Westside, [I second that emotion]so he introduced himself to them, and asked if they knew of a good bass player, and this set the crooked wheels in motion for his find.

The evenings theme was UnValentine and no one is more unValen then actress Constance Bennett. Lord Andrew of Gould found some really good pictures of her for my threshold collage. It was lovely seeing the Ditty Bops back. I want to have them perform as a residency at Bricktops. They are just sooooo good, with incredible energy. LA legendary club DJ/impressario Henry Peck came with Howie Pyro of D Generation and Danzig fame and one of the cities treasures: Tra La La aka: Mrs. AIDS Nurse Debbie Trent who brought her handsome son Colin---I remember when he was a baby, and now he’s 21. Boy, you know you’re old when your punk rocker friends all have grown children. Also out making the scene: Norman Ghoulsen of The Acres, Gloria Vanderbilt’s TV journalista son Anderson Cooper who was scamming on all the young collegiate looking boys, cutey pie choreographer/director Jean Spinosa who had a pre-Bricktops tea party and brought a gaggle of juicy pals, La Poubelle Twins, Don and Augusta, designer extroidinaire Shauna Leone wearing an amazing vintage 20s dress, Shauna is one of the new breed of kids on the scene with amazing style and lots of pizazz. She was helping Europa with her broken hearts Jewelry boutique in the foyer. Oh and guest DJ Prickle was fantastic. He actually got people dancing early in the evening.

ALMANACHA ACROSA THE PONDA

This lovely note from Marcu in Berlin, at the premiere of Bruce La Bruce?s new movie Raspberry Reich at the Berlin Film Festival:

Miss D,

I've wanted to write for such a long time now. I think about you so often. We talk about you so often. and I regularly read your great BLOG (and so do certain unnammed slimy theater people here, which has
caused much turmoil in my Berlin life--but, whatever. It's all for the good, my dear, all for the good.)
I don't really have the time to write anything as wonderful as you deserve, but just wanted to send a quick note telling you that the Berlin premiere of Bruce's film was spectacular! An enormous cinema
was packed with over 1600 people, including scores sitting on the stairs! Ivan, from CHEAP JEWELRY fame, or Dragan, the name we now call him, said the event was so exciting, as to be unexpected on
sterile Potsdamer Platz; it was more like the thrilling film premieres in Serbia. She should know. La Bruce and La Sachsse looked smashing in their premiere duds. BLAB in a shiny grey suit, complemented by a deep red shirt, an LA tan, and ever-present tinted glasses. Susanne in a blue velvet and taffeta forties dress, which
along with her Jean Seberg short black hair lent her a classic fashionable darling of our times look. The audience often cheered along with the hilarious script and people gathered in an exciting drug-like induced craze in the lounge afterwards, as BLAB was whisked away for a long television interview. Of course, the predictable
kinds of people left the film after a while and other predictable kinds of people who stayed had predictably boring responses. But so many others rose beautifully to the challenge of the film! And we'll see how the wider humorless German public and German press deals with it. I find it inspiring, refreshing--but then again, I'm just some
pesky foreign Jew faggot here, and we know from experience how the Germans have previously reacted to people like me. So let's see how they deal with The Raspberry Reich!will write more later--I'm off to the States on Friday for an important interview, then I'm back in Berlin toward the end of Feb.i hope you're doing well. by the way did herb alpert ever give you the money and prize you so deserve? It was great that you were
nominated, but they should come through with the goods.all my love and happy Vaginal Davis Day
yours, marcu thursday is a big filmmaker magazine party for raspberry reich (and john greyson, todd verow and michael brynntrup). our own daniela ramona will be spinning tunes, so you could be sure we'll be dancing to PME!

MAISIE ON WEST KNOLL

Became a cultural tourist on Saturday night and went to a gay cocktail party at my friend Twee?s in West Hollywood. Twee aka: Michael Dykes is a lovely man I met through Bill Silva and the Margaret Cho tour.
Got to see pics of Twee?s new Brazillian boyfriend, who is 19, and the most amazing, studly beauty that has ever walked on gods green hued planet. Twee deserves hot love, and amazing sex. He really is a dear.

There wasn?t anyone at this party that I found particularly interesting, but it is sometimes a joy to get out of one?s element and be in an environment where you?re completely anonymous. I loved the masculine French bartender, who made some potent libations, and there was this juicy young Russian boy with a fine meaty ass and bouncy titties.

GRAMMYSTICAL

Talk about doing something I?ve never done before. I decided to walk around the corner to the BMG Grammy party at the Avalon(formerly The Palace) At first I didn?t want to go, because I didn't have a date, and thought it would be boring, but I?m too poor to turn down free food and liquor, so I put on my Puma jogging suit and decided to try and act rapperly. The party was somewhat dull.
All the media thought I was either Dennis Rodman or Q-Tip from A Tribe Called Quest. Do I resemble them?

As usual in a party situation, I don?t mingle, I just sit in one place and hold court. Surprisingly people were flocking to me. I felt like I was being hit on by Justin Timberlake, Prince, Sharon Stone, Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters, Ellen DeGeneres, Christina Aguilera and both Jack and Meg White of the Stripes. Celebrities sure are nice to you, when you are indifferent to them. I was also invited to the Outcast Mansion party, which I had no way of getting to since I don?t drive, but it was almost 2pm and I was tipsy, so i quietly slid out of the soiree and staggered back home down Hollywood Blvd. I hadn't been to a Grammy party since the late 1970s at one held at the Biltmore, downtown that had a disco room(crowded), and a new wave/punk room(empty) that the GoGo's performed in. Chuck Berry stuck his tongue down my throat at that party, and he did it to several other girls and guys. At the time i was still a teenager, so it was really shocking to find out first hand about the bisexuality of a rock legend.

THE CONFORMIST

Saw the new Bernardo Bertoluci film "The Dreamers" Wow!!!!! Talk about effective! Nice willis action by that young actor Michael Pitt. He has quite the appendage, plus some major booty and tit to go with his luscious lipps Inc. Of course I preferred the gallic boy Louise Garrel, who has a cashew, but a firm melon rump, that I sure wouldn?t kick out of the sackles.

LARGESSE LE LEIT

I’m all wrapped up in the house of the Ditty Bops. After hearing their demo I knew they were good, but seeing them play live on stage was everything I expected multiplied by 2,433. Plus they brought along a hot junior Ann Miller who was rap tap tapping in a style more like the great Eleanor Powell.

Bricktops Friday was in full GaGa gear. My sweet southern Kentucky fried pal David Van Norman reprised his role as the bathtub gin baby and he and his 10 ½ inches were all over the place. I adore David he is such the good time Sally. He was quite popular making a lot of new friends. His cute assistant Nikki also looked stunning. The girl has a wonderous pair of natural ba-knockers, and personality plus.

Everyone was asking me where I found the Ditty Bops. Actually one of my bathtub boys Michael who works on Sunday at the Farmers Market pointed me in their direction and I’m forever grateful to him.

The Bops accordian/piano player, though a bit short for my taste, being that I’m an Amazonian godess) had a rugged manly air about him. The standup bassist and violinist are older gentlemen and provide a nice intergenerational feel and texture. The art director queen in me wants to cut the ponytail off the violin player---He’d look a lot better without it. The two girls Amanda and Abby are gorgeous, with sumpteous voices. They are all amazing musicians, and I can’t wait to have them back.

So many legends stopped by Friday. Maxfield muse Richard Valasco brought Stephen May, who I haven’t seen since he and his mother Gladys left Los Angeles for Seattle in the 80s. What can I say about Stephen May? He and his mother, who died recently, were one hot couple. They were like the real life versions of Sebastian and Violet Venable from Tennessee Williams, " Suddenly Last Summer." Also dancer/choreographer and drag DJ extroidinaire GIRLINA! Came by to say hello. She’s in town to spin at some Grammy parties and man the wheels of steel at the club, Beige. She looked extroidinary. Mark Murphy of the Walt Disney Hall’s Redcat experimental theatre brought the amazing Brian McNeill, a young, strapping songwriter, composer and producer of Scottish traditional and avant garde music. Brian had everyones panties in a bunch everytime he spoke with that sexy brogue. Sophie Fiennes and her handsome actor brother Joseph, were feeling really michieveously frisky, and were getting along famously with Bricktops regulars like Tim Armstrong of Rancid, Bibbe Hansen and her husband Sean Carrillo, designers Shauna Leone and Morgan Olsen. HotDog’s Mario Diaz, was with Louis Garrel the spunky french lad from Bernardo Bertolucci’s "The Dreamers", and Broadway director and theatrical kingpin George C Wolfe (The Colored Museum)was sniffing about the place with Mexican performance artist Astrid Hadad who will be performing at Redcat this Wednesday.

THE MUNCH OF TRIBADOR

Farewell party for Franko B and Chris at Daddy’s studio. The Alfredo sauce was splendid. Taj who is the piercer to Janet Jackson, regaled us how the media has been on her case to find out about the piercing that was on Ms. Jackson’s nipple when she bared her breastage at the Super Bowl. Too bad Justin Timberlake didn’t expose his nice white willis to the world---now that would have been shocking!

Went into the studio to record a love song for Kehjl Johansson’s latest album. Kehjl use to be in the art punk band The Urinals, until the leader of that group got a big head, thinking that as middle aged men they still had a chance to be rock stars. See what this town does to people? Kehjl doesn’t suffer any such delusions. He makes music because he loves it, and that should be the only reason. He is very much content with his gorgeous wife Karol DeGraffenreid and their pretty child. Recording the song was such a hoot. The engineer use to be in the Paisley Underground band The Last, and he had this cute young Canuck with him, from Ottawa to be exact, who was just adorable. I wanted to eat the boy alive.

My Kentucky pal David Van Norman and his assistant Miss Nicki were in town on business. They took me to eat at Patina at the Disney Hall. What a meal, what great service. Some booty pies work there as well. Our waiter was really hysterical. I felt really poor with my dowdy boy drag, but some people were dressed much worse then me, at least I have personal style. There was even this odd looking Asian man who was sitting in this fancy restaurant eating all alone. I would never do that. Not that I have a choice in the matter, since i can't afford to go to chi chi eateries.

VIA VENETO

Cute and cuddly Chicano Cesar Vega took me to breaky at the Pacific Dining Car. We had a nice relaxing time, feasting the morn away. He also relayed his misadventures at the Sundance Film Festival. I was really jealous when he gave me the rundown on his encounter with Gael Garcia Bernal from "Y Tu Mama". Cesar also got to see the world premiere of Judy LaBruce’s "Raspberry Reich". At one of the parties he ran into this older industry chick who said she was so drunk her eyes were fucking each other. Hahahahaha!
After breakfast Cesar was a doll to pick up visiting art star Franko B and his beau Chris and drop them off at my studio. I decided to play LA tour guide, one of my favorite roles, and took my Euro pals downtown for a bit of a power walking tour. We headed down Wilshire from MacArthur Park and stopped of at the Central Library up to Bunker Hill, checking out MOCA, The Watercourt, The Dizney Hall, Music Center and the new Los Ang Cathedral which is incredible. We ended the day at The Regal Biltmore, Broadway’s movie palaces and The Bradbury Building. A freak rainstorm soaked us, so we had to head back to Silverlake. Franko is just so adorable and generous, and I loved hearing about his run ins with the facist Italian police when he was homeless living in Venice.

A FEW GOOD MEN

I've always wanted to do a club in LA that is similar to NYC's The Gaity or Toronto's Remington's, so I'm going to attempt it. It will be aa first in this town I'm sure. I'm going to call it Knob Ill and it will be the first male limo lap dancing palace in Los Angeles history if everything goes according to plans. I want my dancers to to be a cross section of men, not just muscleheads or porn stars, but more regular body types and i want fat and elderly, not just young twinks. So if anyone out in Blogland thinks they know someone who fits the criteria:

WANTED
Men of all ages, races and body types for classy burlesque review. College age to senior citizen welcome. Most have youthful spirit, be uninhibited, with personality, charm and sex appeal.
Contact Ms. Vaginal Davis' assistant Gleeson Brevard at Gleebrevard@aol.com for an audition.

THE REQUEST LINE IS OPEN

Some one just emailed me wanting to know the lyrics of the song i sang Friday at Bricktops. Well it goes something like this:

"Cash, moneyorders, visa, mastercard, american express
food stamps
or just plain sex

i don't care how you pay me
just pay me now"

NEBRASKA’S SWEATHEART

Jose Montano made me a delightful pikniq lunch---a veritible feasta. This was the menu: wild king salmon, glutan free rice almond bread, quinoa which is a grain from Jose’s native Bolivia, roasted veggies and a parsnip salade. We sat on the edge of the lake at MacArthur Park, reclaiming the land from the drug dealers and gang bangers who mark it as their turf. It was a glorious act of urban rebellion.

Now I’m going to quote Jose:

"You know whats worse then a celebrity hating you? Its a celebrity loving you"

Just a little something to ponder.

***

Daddy Ron and I had a power bitch meeting with Kirsten of Outfest. She is now the main programmer and would like us to come back as curators of the Platinum Live Art event.

Nothing is in cement as of this writing, but it would be a hoot. Of course the Dadster and I, are full of a million ideas. We are the ultimate concept queens. Will keep you posted as to what happens.

After the power bitch meeting, Kirsten took me out to dinner at The Kitchen where we sat, gabbed, and drank to our hearts content. I love Miss Kirsten, she’s a good time Sally.

Hilary MacGregor, from the LA Times spent the entire day with me, art stalking la diva. We met at my spider hole of an apartment on Hollywood Blvd around 6:30am, then took the subway and bus downtown to Phillipe’s for breaky, then my MacArthur Pk studio where I went about my day as she observed me in my natural habitat. I was afraid my day-to-day would be just too boring. Oh welp, its not like I’m on a reality TV show. That would be pathetic.

I believe that Hilary got what makes me part of the LA experience that few know exists. Yes Heather there is culture in Los Ang, that lives beneath the Valley of the Dolls.

So excited that Bibbe Hansen was my special guest star at Bricktops. Ms. Bibbe completely channeled the spirit of 20s songstress Ruth Etting. My door girl Meesh, who always looks stunning styled Bibbe. She sang three songs and had the audience on its knees. Her handsome artist sons Beck and Channing were very proud of their sexy momma. The worshipful throngs included Mark Murphy, the executive director of the Disney Halls Redcat experimental theatre, L-Word writer and star Gwen Turner, Sundance film festival’s Shari Frilot, Outfests’ Kirsten, a very handsome, subdued and almost unrecognizeable Ice Cube with his Barbershop co-star Troy Garity who is becoming a regular at Bricktops. This is the third times in less then two months he's been here. Hope his mother Jane Fonda will tag along with him one day.
Also met this professional skateboarder boy whose name I can’t remember now, but he sure is cute with a nice skater tight body, o and Tim Armstrong of Rancid, another young man with a very lean and hard body, who loves dancing to the music from the Newton Boys soundtrack. Well at least some celebs have good taste.

DIE LIEBE DER JEANNE NEY

Here's a note from Camryn Manheim, the zaftig star of TV's The Practice drama on ABC affiliates.

"There is a sweet little 1 bedroom apartment for rent in Venice right behind my house.
It's on Ocean Ave
450 sq. feet
Seconds from the canals.
1,100 month
utilities not included.
The landlords only concern is that it be long term. He lives back east and does not want to have to re-rent it from 3,000 miles away.
Let me know if you or anyone you know is interested.

SACKLES DEWITT

Been housesitting for masculinic Dadster Athey while he was in San Fran with Europe's #1 art star Franko B and his beau Chris. Dadda rented a car to drive up Northern way. Its Franko's first time in the golden gate city and Chris' tyro American journey. Lil Chris attends art school in Bristol.
Of course i've made a major messina of Dad's Silverlake Hills compound. I really know how to spread myself out, leaving dirt and fungus stains EVERYWHERE. Ron called and warned me, i'd better do the Mrs. Cleana before he brings his houseguests home. They are all actually having a wonderous time in the bay area. Since the dot.com crash the cisco regu aren't being shrill about people from Los Ang. Rents up there have gown down but not that drastically. Franko gave a lecture at the Art Institute i believe, or some kind of forum facilitated by the great Guillermo Gomez-Pena. Dad wil drive them to Palm Springs for a bit, to stay at Crepe Suzettes Zsa Zsa Gabor case study home, and i'm sure they will make a Joshua Tree pit stop.

Went to the Farmers Market on Ivar street this morn. Ran into video artist Ming Ma with Dr. Jennifer Doyle. Lots of eye candy abounding. Saw the cutest young hot papa with his pretty child in a stroller.

I bought some flowers and gouda cheese. Drank the most fantasticle capuccino and rum almond croissant. Professor Doyle's new wealthy Gallic husband arrives on Tuesday. Can't wait to meet him.

Around 3:30 i was feeling a little horndoggy so i went to beerbust at the Flatline. What a dismal crowd. Just trolls, and their fathers and grandfathers on parade---just happy to be anywhere. What is the matter with my city? Why do men here have the personality of an unlined white piece of paper in a three rung spiral notebook?

LA VIE EN ROSE

Bricktops was hotter then those four sisters from Georgia last night. The Lady Miss Bricktop sang a song about George Bush that went like this:

“O Mr. Bush, President shrub,you’re not very nice, you and your black lover Condolezzi Rice. O Mr. Bush dear Prezident shrub, once? Twice? Thrice!
you’re such the dinge queen, carpet munching on Condi Rice”

she also did a very strange cover of the Grace Jones hit, “Warm Leatherette”
rhyming leatherette with They Won’t Forget, Suzanne Pleshette and Suffragette
The special guest star was Montreal’s musical lunatic Creekbird. The Creek as I like to call him, is one of the most sexiest men alive. He really is quite the stud and every man and woman in the audience was very much desireth of his lusty charms. The theme of the evening was a nutters salute to komedy klunky Harry Langdon, who was the 4th most popular silent era comedian after Chaplin, Keaton and Lloyd.

Bruce La Bruce was back in town from Sundance so of course there were a lot of people who came out to be in his lofty orbit. Including Nikki the former model and wife to photog Terry Richardson who starred in Bruce’ last art porn classic “Skin Flick” The porn version is actually called “Skin Gang” but I prefer the working title which was “Gang of Foreskins” Darling Nikki’s new boyfriend is named Eddie and he use to be a semi regular on that banal sitdumb “Friends” and he also starred in a shortlived WB TV Network drama. He’s one fine piece of caucasion ass, but I can’t remember his last name. Michael Schmidt the jewelry designer, and costumer also was paying his respects to La Judy of Bruce. Michael is doing really well now that he left tired New York and lives here in Los Angeles. I love New York, but it can also get really bleak. Michael designed specialty wardrobe pieces for both Charlie’s Angelz movies.
This graffiti artist named Dash Snow or something like that was taking a million pictures of me. Judy sez he comes from a very wealthy family and his mother sits on the boards of the Whitney Museum of Art and MOMA. I just ADORE these artists who become big in the art world through the dear old fashion grit of nepatism.

Early Friday at around 4pm while I was decorating the club. This woman called who works for Nicole Kidman saying that the star of stars and her jewish/negro lover Lenny Kravitz wanted to drop by. I told her that Bricktops is here every Friday from 10pm-2am --- the cover is $5.00 and Ms. Kidman and Mr. Kravitz, are welcome any time.
Are they even still an item? I liked it better when Nicole was with that humpy jubas rapper Q-Tip.
Mz. Assistant to Nic asked about the VIP area. When i told her we didn't have one she told me she'd call back----but didn't.


NANCY GOES TO RIO

My production designer pal, Jose Montana called and wants to have a Pik Niq. Jose is very posh. He use to design rock videos like REM’s “Losing My Religion” but now he mostly does commercials, though I’m sure he’d like to do feature films, but there is such a heirachy in the biz that moving up to features is one hard gnut to crack. Jose’s mother was a famous Swedish actress and his father a famed Bolivian architect. He grew up in Seattle and London. He has a house in the Echo Park hills that is lovely with a great city view. Jose is also an amazing gourmand.
He sez that Rubencito, my 21 year old El Salvadorean bootypie bar back at the Parlour Club speaks Spanish with a Brazilian accent. I love the way Rueben talks. I used him for my voicemail, although it confuses everyone who calls me.

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EX-CENTRIS

Went to the American Cinemateque to see a screening of "Bell, Book and Candle" starring Kim Novak and James Stewart. I haven’t seen this movie since they use to show old films on TV back in the 70s. It was great seeing it on the big screen at the famed Egyptian Theatre where I spent many Saturdays during my child and young adulthood. Before the Egyptian became the Cinemateque I would come for their bargain basement matinees as late as the early 90s. One of my other favorite movie palaces, The Pacific Theatre on Hollywood Blvd has been closed for ages. Some equity waiver theatre companies use it now, it was transformed from a single large theatre to a multiplex in the 80s. At the reception for the Kim Novak flick I ran into Mrs. Michael Glass, Tom Guzman and Mark Simon and his lovely sister. Mark’s new performance group The Younger DeGenerates will be performing at Bricktops in February.

Received an invitation from famed academe Amelia Jones to participate in a symposium called "Theorizing Queer Visualities" at the University of Manchester. She’d like me to do one of my performance/lectures at the University's Whitworth Gallery. I’m really excited about this.

The others invited for this two week event are: Peggy Phelan, Stanford University/ keynote presentation, with discussion, José Esteban Muñoz, New York University/ second keynote,Richard Dyer, University of Warwick; author of White and Culture of Queers and numerous other publications on film, visual imagery, and identity. Jackie Stacey: cultural theorist whose work addresses gender and sexuality and has helped shape debates in feminism and visual culture; professor at Lancaster University, Patty Chang: internationally known performance artist based in New York/ California.
Richard Fung, experimental video and filmmaker and theorist of queer Asian visuality; based in Toronto.
Thomas Allen Harris: filmmaker based in New York and California whose work *explores desire, ambivalence and the construction of diasporic identity, through a critical engagement with questions of blackness, sexuality and the body.* (from electronic intermix website)Lyle Ashton Harris: artist and commercial photographer and theorist whose work addresses sexuality and race in and across the black male body, based in New York.
Ma Liuming: Chinese performance artist whose work involves cross-dressing and interrogating Western stereotypes of Chineseness.Isaac Julien: internationally known queer black filmmaker and theorist from London. Glen Ligon: New York based internationally known artist whose work addresses intersection of race and sexuality.
Ming-yuen S. Ma: Los Angeles-based video artist and theorist; author of Slanted Vision (1995), an experimental video exploring the relation between vision and desire with eroticized images of Asian men.
Yasumasa Morimura: Japanese artist who deploys his own body in photographs that mimic famous Western images (most of these involve some kind of cross-dressing).
Prathiba Parmar, originally from Kenya, now a major British experimental film and video maker who explores feminist, diasporic, and queer identities in her work.
Toxic Titties: feminist queer performance collective from Los Angeles.
Ike Ude: Nigerian artist whose photographic work (like Ashton Harris's) addresses queer black masculinity, usually through the depiction of his own body.
Legier Biederman, Ph.d. student at UCLA; work attempts to push boundaries of queer theory and feminism vis-a-vis black Hip Hop music imagery.Gavin Butt, lecturer at Goldsmiths College, Univ. London, whose art historical work addresses gay masculinity in art of the 1950s.Sue-Ellen Case, professor in theatre department at UCLA; her work has been central to the development of queer theory in theatre studies.
Dianne Chisholm, teaches at University of Alberta; has just written a book called Queer Constellations: Fictions of Space in the Wake of the City about queer flânerie and modernist literature.
Patricia Ticineto Clough, author of "Queer Desire and the Technobodies of Feminist Theory," in Autoaffection: Unconscious Thought in the Age of Teletechnology (2000).
Barbara Creed, feminist and queer film theorist who teaches at the Unviersity of Melbourne, Australia.
Thomas Dowson, lecturer and theorist of queer archaeology from University of Manchester.
Jennifer Doyle, assistant professor in the English Department at University of California, Riverside; her work on Eakins and Warhol establishes a new framework for thinking "queer visualities."
Susan Foster, professor in world cultures department at UCLA; her work has been central to the development of feminism and queer theory in dance studies.Sander Gilman, professor at Univ. Illinois, Chicago; has written extensively on sexuality, Jewishness, and gender in relation to "scientific" imagery.
Michael Hatt, Birkbeck College, University of London; has written extensively on gender and sexuality and issues of visuality, currently finishing a book on homoeroticism and the visual in late Victorian Britain.
Catherine Lord, professor of art at UC Irvine; her work has long explored the interstices of queer theory/art theory nexus. She is an established art critic.Sharon Marcus, teaches as Columbia University; works on gender, sexuality, and urban history; has published on the gendered city.
Laura U. Marks, theorist of gay porn and new media theorist; author of The Skin of the Film: Intercultural Cinema, Embodiment, and the Senses (2000).Michael Moon, professor at Johns Hopkins, has worked on queerness in Warhol and Joseph Cornell.Marlon Ross, University of Virginia; works on African American gay culture, including visual culture.Shuddhabarata Sengupta: media theorist who addresses identity and global media, co-founder of Sarai media collective; lives and works in Delhi, India.
Robert Summers, theorist of queer visualities who is working to break the boundaries of "gay art history."
Carole-Ann Tyler, professor of English, UC Riverside; works on queer theory and visuality.
Lola Young, author of Fear of the Dark: "Race," Gender, and Sexuality in the Cinema (1996), based in London?

FADE TO GRAY

Went to the opening of FADE 1990-2003 African American Artists in Los Angeles A Survey Exhibition curated by sexy little Malik Gaines of the pretty fair skin, curly hair and bumping tight booty. I’d sure like to burrow my tongue up his anal stairwell, but I’ll have to save that for another episode of the Oprah Winfrey show.

Malik is also in the wonderful showcore band My Barbarian, with pretty Jade Gordon and his zesty Latin lover Alex. Malik is part of the new breed of young, fresh, go getting colored boys working the staid art world. I wish I was more ambitious, but as an olde school rebellion, lets face the Gertrude P. Stein custard------ I am what I am, what I ambla.

Of course with Bricktops also being on a Friday, I didn’t make the opening reception till right before it was ending. What a delicious scene. I NEVER go to art openings, mainly because they are so dull, but this one had some spunk. A colored people art show in Los Angeles is a mighty rare occurance, so everyone seemed to be in a celebratory mood. I was dressed as Saint Salicia Tate, a look that isn’t easy for the majority of public consumption. I just breezed in and then breezed out because I had a show to do. I’m glad I came though and Malik did a great job of displaying the work.

Who was there?

colored girl TV writer Josslyn Luckett, Willy Banta and Miriam Jacobsen of the LA Weekly, Phylis Teen from the band Spooky Pie, NPR’s bubble butt studkin Ben Adair and his lovely jewel of a girlfriend Shoshanna, Nora Keyes and Max Gonberg of the Centimeters, LA Weekly editor Joe Donnelly and his glamorous dancer wife Miss Candy, Brian Freeman, Leslie Sahr the grand dame of afrikan american art,
Creekbird, artist Ming Ma, Professor Jennifer Doyle, writers Ellen Kraut Hasagowa and Lisa Teasley.

During the week I’m going to go see the exhibition so I can pay closer attention to the work. I’m really anxious to check out Mark Bradford’s pieces as I’ve been told he is really exceptional. What I know of his background is exciting----the boy use to be a hairhopper turned artist who uses a lot of black hair care products in his abstract pieces.

OOMPH DE TRIUMPHE

Got an emug that my good girlffriend the NYC superstar drag diva, The Lady Bunny is Djing a major fashion event at the Eiffel Tower.

I'll make it easy and copy what i received so you can read it for yourself:

Armed with a clutch of CDs and a wig box big enough to get Marie Antoinette twirling in her grave, New York drag superstar Lady Bunny is jetting into the City of Light to DJ one of the hottest fashion parties of the new year.
To be held January 21 in La Salle Gustave Eiffel, on the first floor of the
famous tower, the event will celebrate the launch of Visionaire Magazine's
Visionaire 42 Scent.

Known to most as an outrageous comedienne and personality about town, Lady
Bunny, a fashion industry darling, is also the in-house DJ for the
extravagant Visionaire (and V) magazines and can be found spinning her brand
funk-soul-pop-disco at the hottest Fashion Week parties. Previous gigs for
Visionaire include spinning at L'Opera Garnier (becoming the first DJ ever
to spin in that famous Parisian opera house), the Fendi showroom in Milan,
Harvey Nichols (London) and Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum on Times Square.

Other recent gigs include the Fashion Group International Awards at
Cipriani, Saks Fifth Ave.'s main floor during the holidays and Ritz Carlton
South Beach's New Year's Eve party where she became the first DJ ever hired
by a Ritz Carlton hotel.

The Lady Bun Bun is the hardest working queen I know. There aren't too many other queens that i hang out with. She is one of the few, and is always making me laugh till my intestines are sticking out of my anus.

At the end of the note was this piece of hot gossip:

Grace Jones attended Jade Jagger's birthday this week in a bar in Mayfair.
She disappeared into a cubicle for ages and then burst out, executing karate
moves while announcing loudly in a fake German accent: "Here is ze cocaine
autobahn!"

EMELINE D’ LANSON

Friday at Bricktops we celebrated Aimee Semple McPhearson, the famous evangelist who ran off with her much younger lover and pretended to be kidnapped. I love Geraldine Page’s performance as Miss Aimee in the 1975 John Schlessinger film of Nathaniel West’s "Day of the Locust".

Of course my interpretation is as the The Most High Right Rev’rend Saint Salicia Tate. Salicia hadn’t performed in Los Angeles in over two years so it was a thrill for the audience to see her in full self-beatified regalia.

As my alter boy vestal virgens Dan Peiera and Jason North were very angelic and pious. The only celebs I personally saw was that former Calvin Klein model turned TV Tarzan Travis Fimmel with fellow Aussie actor Martin Henderson who was at the club a few weeks ago and is in some new motorcycle chase movie that also stars Ice Cube and Debbie Mazar’s younger sister.