Boi o Boi have i been an on-the-go girlina pie! Spent some time with art star Matthew Barney who was in town on Cremaster high art business of some kind. I didn't exactly pry into the reason he was out Southern California way. I was just happy he had time for me. Oh get your minds out of the gutterdam. We're not lovers or anything, though i wouldn't mind having a taste of that fine body of his. He's involved with Pop star Bjork and they even have a designer baby together. That doesn't mean he doesn't fool around with boys though, but when he's with another dude that lucky bastard is photographer Ryan McGinley, who will be DJ-ing at the opening for Asian Punk Boy Saturday at the Peres Projects Gallery in Chinatown. Matthew will probably be there as well chowing down on Ryan's fat young appendage. Why is it that straight boys love to suck cock? Well because their girlfriends don't have one.
Also got to hang with Ian MacKaye of Minor Threat and Fugazi fame. Oh its not what your dirty mind is thinking. We've had a romantic friendship for over 20 years. His girlfriend hates me because she thinks that I'm trying to steal him away from her. That couldn't be far away from the truth. I don't go for straight edge willis. Ian and i do make-out, but its always very innocent and i never let him do anything more than eat out my nappy dugout and suck on my big fat titties. Its not like he penetrates me or anything. And i certainly have no desire to plow him, as he doesn't really have a good enough buttocks for that sort of thing. You know i don't like pancake asses.
Oh did i mention i saw that Brazilian movie City of God. Wow, talk about fat bubble butts. Brazilians have the best booty in the world. All those fantastic mixes give them the most exotic looks, colors and textures.
Also saw the X2 movie---my guilty pleasure of the week. It wasn't that bad, just a little salty. The best thing in the flick is this young muscular boy who is in only one major scene.
Gotta run, Matthew wants to treat me and Cathie Opie to Joshua Tree for some Bohdi Tree style getting back to nature. Whoosh!

Bricktops was a major hoot, if i do say so myself. Despite the downpour of April Showers in May which predictably kept some home. Miss los ang gets all decrepit when it rains and the nesting vibe kicks in. I hate that. Surprisingly we did get a good crowd, but not as packed as the week before when it was clear blue skies. Lots of celebutantes did show up including Rufus Wainwright all happy when i played his song "Matinee Idol" My NYC journalist girlfriend Linda/Les Simpson and Thairin from World of Wonder popped in along with Henry Peck and his hot sister. Legend Christian HOffman hung out in the DJ booth with me giving some good gossipola which is just too juicy to print here in my blournal. Christian will be performing at Bricky's in early June. Lots of cute fancy, young kids came to the club----a colorful group of jazz babies from Japan who work for this glossy fashion magazine the name of which i didn't catch.
Got introduced to Eve Mendes, some bullet nippled young actress/model who i never heard of.
During Kitty Diggens wonderful burlesque routine Britains reigning manchild of pop Robbie Williams teetered in. I actually recognized him, and he looks cuter in person, less haggy and more boyish with a tight taunt little bum. He was escorted by a very gay older man with a mustache that looked like he used some death in venice wax as a grooming byproduct.
I felated the rather large and plithy penis of a cute boy in the DJ booth until we were rudely interrupted by some reporter wanting to know the names of the songs i was spinning. My straight drag hag palsy Horten told me that the dark haired lovely i had crunched is a basketball player with the Timberwolves named Wally Szczerbiak. Now hows that for a wonders never cease scenario?
Had my more formal sex date on Saturday with a visiting admirer, who adoringly worshipped my entire nasty stinky smelly fungusy body electrik.
Sunday i had a quiet postgirlfriend time with Fertile La Toyah Jackson in Pasadena. Ms. Fertile just bought a beautiful new house near the Rose Bowl. The lady is a home owner. I'm so proud of her. She works very hard in her day job as kindergarden teacher. She and punk goddess Alice Bag both work at the same school in pico union. If you want to know what happens to punk stars as they grow and mature, well they devote themselves entirely to educating others less fortunate. Isn't that noble? Fertile and i also spent some time with my son Immanuel de la Falaise and his 5 year old daugher. Yes i am a grandma. My firstborn child's kid is very cute and precious. A bright little gal who can speak fluent Japanese. My son has a small case of yellow fever, his ex-wife who lives in Japan, but he takes care of their kid. He has a new Japanese girlfriend who he's moving to Japanesa to be with. I just hope my virile babymaking boy doesn't create any new life forms. Not that he can't afford to take care of them. His mother is of European nobility from a very old money family.

Have seen a few movies. I'm not going to review them in my regular section. I'll just put it here in the blog page. I'm all wrapped up in the house of blogging at the moment.
Raising Victor Vargas-My good friend the handsome, highly opinionated "jubas" movie reviewer for the LA Weekly, Ernest Hardy recommended this film, and from the opening image of the lead boy macking to the camera i was won over. The kid is latin perfection. Gorgeous honey colored skin, dreamy eyes and culata hair. In a word: a silvery packagina of young male beauty. Well thats more than a word, but you understand what I'm trying to say dontcha? I wasn't that concerned with the coming of age romantic element of this movie. I was just feasting on the latin fan club beauty of the lead male and his younger brother. The woman who plays the kids grandmother is quite good. I liked the use of non actors, who are always going to be more interesting then self-conscience professionals. There is a little bit of Paul Morrisey at play here like in his Spike of Bensenhurst which gave us Saasha Mitchell's juicyness back in the mid 80s. Whatever happened to that Saasha boy? I guess he's not a boy anymore but is early middle age.
Crises(1950) - I've always wanted to see this flick, the first film written and directed by Richard Brooks(In Cold Blood, Looking For Mr. Goodbar) It stars Cary Grant as an American surgeon in some unnamed latin country that is going through a revolution. This is an MGM film produced by the legendary Freed unit who mainly did musicals. Its an odd picture from this department of Metro, but what a great pic it is. Lots of reverberrations of todays goings on politically. Richard Brooks is definatley one hollywood director who was underrated. The performances are top notch from a rather cute looking Jose' Ferrer as a mixture of Juan Peron and Saddam Huesein type dictator to smaller roles from Gilbert Roland, Antonio Moreno and former matinee idol Ramon Novarro trying desperately to act butch, and he almost succeeds. I also loved Signe Hasso as the Evita-esque wife.
Saw the movie at LACMA's matinee series for only $2. The best bargain in Los Angeles.
Last night i met some tiny little dinge queen who wanted to service me all night. Boy did he. I didn't leave him until almost 5am this morning, so I'm a mess today, and i have tons of work, that I'm behind on. Oh welp, a girl needs her goodies, and believe you me Myrtle they are few and far between in this tired sexless town.
Everything with Visions of Excess seems to be progressiving nicely. Its so great to be working with the Fierce Festival and not with Outfest this year. Outfest is so clueless. There are some nice people involved with them who can be dear, but they are too establishment oriented to get anything with vision off the ground in a proper way. After working with them for two years, i realize that also Ms. Shari Frilot is very much a company girl. A adore Shari, but she did go to Harvard and has that kind of background that is really different from me in that she believes in the system and i don't. Plus I'm too rebellious to tow any line, and follow the rules. If i had followed the pissy rules i would have gotten absolutely no where in my life. The Outfest experience was great in that it showed me that i have to follow my own instincts which have served me very well in the thousands of years i've been an immortal being living on this tepid planet.

Oh merciful heavens my short story in Susie Brights new sex anthology got a good review from this paper in the midwest. If you care to read it here is the link:
http://www.newcitychicago.com/chicago/2255.html
I don't believe there is such a thing as bad press.
My life lately is so feasta or famina, there are never any rogue grey areas. I'm getting a million requests for all sorts of things. Trying to sort through it all is taxing. At least i'm in demanda, and i've got a roof over my three gydra heads. I am so Medusa/Medasa.
Had a little weekend get-a-way with a trick from my Margaret Cho tour. The boy is young and with a nice elongated thickerous of a willis. He snagged a 4-star room for our trystee at the infamous Biltmore Hotel in lovely Santa Barbara. Its nice to get goodies. Next week we'll repeat the adventure.
I'm only able to rope in men from different cities and countries. I don't ever get any action out of my tired home town. Whats the problem with missy Los Ang? I'll tell you simply: men here are too neurotic, unfocused and self absorbed for sex. Even the ones with large genitalia, never use said objects. Its all for show.
Had breaky with Professor Jose Munoz visiting from NYU and also the lovely professor Jennifer Doyle of UC Riverside. Dr. Munoz and i heartily agreed that LA is a sad place for getting down and dirty. No one is capable of deeding here. We were joined for break by another UC Riverside prof named Josh Kuhn. Joshua is a princess of Judea and is quite cute, but is very much what i mentioned above: neurotic,unfocused, self absorbed. [I'm repeating here for biblical emphasis] Josh does a lot of moonlighting as a journalist and club entrepeneur and DJ. I'm not exactly featuring Josh. And i don't know if its because he's obviously from a well-to-do family and i resent him for being priveledged, and making a name for himself off of Latin culture. Perhaps I'd have more respect for him if he was working class and wasn't such a cultural tourist. Though he does seem very genuine and sincere, but there is still this haughtyness that rubs me the wrong way. Maybe i feel that he hasn't courted "The Doll" the way he should. Not that i think everyone has to be wrapped up in the house of "Me" and trying to get into my big white panties, but it can't hurt. At least pretend you want to sleep with me and become my hot jewish husband. Thats the least one can expect, eh?
A pity Jose M. has to leave today. It would have been nice to hang out with him a bit longer. I have a wonderous romantic friendship with Jose and Dr. Doyle. They are shiny jewels in the heavenly firmament.
Last night i went to writer Lisa Teasley's birthday dinner for her beau Daniel. Her mother Vi and sister Laura were also present. I love her mom and kid sis. Vi is from Panama, and is a fantastic Ann Sothern in Panama Haiti. She had me on the floor doubled back laughing so much i thought i was going to hemmorage. I think i did leave a puddle of blood and fecal matter on the floor. Vi and her husb who works for the black insurance company Golden State Mutual are LA African American political royalty. They live in a big house in Baldwin Hills. They are so connected politically that they even went to ole Big Hands, president Clinton's In-nagruel (am i spelling this word correctly?) Lisa and her sisters didn't grow up shabby like me in the ghetto. They come from an upper middle class negroid background. They lived the life i could have only dreamt of for myself. Not that i'm bitter. But i am!!!! Hahahahahahaha. I'm too old to hold back my feelings about stuff. At this point in my life what good would it do?

oh my hot buttered peninas, what a night i had last night at my jazz age cafe society soiree Bricktops. The humpy musical review Leave It To Jane, from Hamburg, Germany directed by Mark Si-Mon performed, and were just beyond magnificent. Those boys can sure fill out a cod piece. Yowzina!!!!
My wayward grandson Mr. Uncertain was also in top form, though he can sometimes be a little rebellious and i have to pull on his hem'roids with the one tooth i have left. Lots of star power in the audience with one of my favorite writers Gary Indiana. I love my literary celebs. Also spoken word goddess Nicole Blackman who will be performing her Courtesan Tales in England with me and Ron as part of Visions of Excess at the Fierce Festival. Nicole is so gorgeous. Her posse last night included costume designer Suzette Mathelson who just finished the movie Honey which is la oose remake of the 80s hit Flashdance this time starring the bratty Jessica Alba in the Jennifer Beals role. Missy Elliot is also in the film and the dinge delight Genuine. Suzette is responsible for the surfer girl look that is all the rage right now thanks to her costumes for the flick Blue Crush that was directed by John Stockwell, who i use to hang out with in New York and LA back in the 80s when he was a hot young male ingenue. The boy back in those days was surely the "worlds type". He hasn't aged well---poor sod.
i overheard the best story about this guy whose bisexual girlfriend had a lesbian lover and after a virulent love making sesh with her man she went over and bumped raw bush with her gal pal and got her preggers. Talk about an immaculate conception. The dagger sued her girly lovers beau for child support and got it when it was proven he was the father, now here comes the twist. The lesbian and the father of the baby wind up hooking up and becoming a couple. They both wound up ditching the girl they shared. Ha har!
Just heard from my friend Gazulie that the TV show Touched by an Angel is being cancelled. I don't have a televison set but whenever I'd be at someones house and it was on i had to watch it. Call it a guilty pleasure, shucks i don't feel guilty about it----i loved Roma Downey and the great Della Reese. The show was so much better then Michael Landon's overwrought Highway to Heaven from the 80s.
Oh i almost forgot to mention that St. Morrisey of the Smiths fame and his boyfriend came to Bricktops last night. He thanked me for a good show as he was leaving. I said to myself, oh he looks familiar but without my glasses i never recognize anyone unless they are on top of me---literally. One straight handsome Chicano boy with his girlfriend next to him was so thrilled in seeing Missy Morr that he came up to me and gave me a big fat kiss on the puncher. What is it with latin guys all hornpiggy for Mrs Queen is Dead. I don't get it. I like him but he's not worship material in the slightest and he does look a bit long on the tooth. Oh i better stop being so mean, I opened up for the Smiths ages ago when i was in the Afro Sisters. It was the first time i ever performed at the Hollywood Paladium. The second time was when i opened up for the Happy Mondays----that show was awful a suburban KROQ crowd of icky clueless weenagers.

oh my heavenly little four foot three word I'm blogging. I had no idea such advanced technology existed. Thanks to Larry Bob-Goblin for introducing it to me, without him i would be trapped in the middle of the road ages in a century i don't even want to think about.
I'm really excited about the upcoming LA Times piece on me. The writer is this young Danish girl named Louise Roug. We really hit it off. She likes to drink and thinks a lot of stuff out there at the moment is tired so we're certainly reading from the same chapter in life. She wanted to interview my family and i gave her their telephone numbers but they are so insane who knows if she was able to track them down. Before i went to Europe and the University of Michigan at Ann Arbor Louise spent a couple of days following me around and it didn't feel wierd in the slightest.
Jason North the sweet Minneapolis boy i tricked with while on tour with Margaret Cho came to visit me. He's a rare gem. Very bright and quite the conneuisser of experimental and underground films. He even brought me vintage porn to show at Bricktops which i can't wait to unleash. Last week David Van Norman came through town. I also met David during the Cho tour. He is such an uninhibited kid. I appreciate young white boys from the upper middle classes who are free with showing their large genitalia. Some of these urbanites could take a lesson from Kentucky David, he is certainly much more advanced than many of these so called sophisticates who call themselves artist in this dreary provential town. Next week Ms. Linda Simpson of Time Out NY and Paper Magazine fame will be visiting, i'm sure i'll have a high ole time with her.