LORD LOVE A DUCK
One evening in January 1982 i was reading a book just before supper, in the Park Avenue apartment of a handsome, but vulgar investment banker. This man wanted me to take part in a sex party among government officials . . . due to a mere accident of birth, which at the time i took no notice of, i was erotically irresistible to men, but false humility was a gift i had been denied.
I had always been abnormally truthful, though it never occured to me to be vain about it. My integrity like my sexual beauty, came so naturally that i was quite mystified by the attention it drew. Thus it was that the bankers presumption in questioning my self-knowledge, which i specialized in, i saw through as a pathetically ill disguised alibi for keeping me in New York as his private property to flatter his ego. I left immediately for Philadelphia, packing only his first editions. Having often told him he was too stupid to appreciate them, i could not be so sanctimonious as to leave them in his possession. . .

IN FESSELN GELEGT,GESPANKT UND GEFINGERED
I knew that old WWII bombs, grenades and the like still turn up in and around Berlin, but i had no idea till a report on NPR that in the Western Front of WWI, that there are still unexploded grenades and shells, so many in fact that it would take 500 years to find them all. YIKES.
***
Anna and Miss Stephanie of the Hebbel took Assaf Hochman, Christophe Chemin and i to an American production at HAU I. It was nice seeing something in English, and the piece titled Songs of the Dragons Flying to Heaven by Young Jean Lee and her New York based Theatre Company was spirited. While i believe in supporting my Korean sistah´s! I wish i could recommend this production wholeheartedly. There are lots of great ideas floating about, but its a bit of a convoluted mess, like 15 different stage shows in one. I did like how she was attempting to tackle race issues in a non-dogmatic, whimsical fashion.
Several times i thought the work was going to pop, and it would always leave me frustrated. If i was Ms.Lee i´d develop the white guy/asian girl theme more. Replace Ms. Yamamoto as the lead with Margaret Cho. I did find the immasculated, bearded, lanky white dude Brian Bickerstaff sexy in a pigeon chested kind of way. Juliana Francis Kelly was just too Law & Order Special Victims Unit in her acting and stage presence for my taste, and what was with those ill stockings and Amy Winehouse ballet slippers the costumer had her wear. Oh and stark lighting never works, kill that please! The Korean chorus in folk costumes were the best part of this work, and whenever they disapeared i kept wanting to go back stage and bring them out again.
***
Wonderful dindin at Tim Blue´s flat. We havent´t been able to spend any quality time together, and he is one of my favorite peeps, with an insight that is always glowing and very right on Maude! After supper we had a drink at the Frankenstein 5000 bar also known as Ficken. It was fugly saturday nite fever, as the place was filled with some of the most hideous creatures i have ever seen in Berlin, short of the Kottbusser Tor crusties.

MARJORIE MORNINGSHTAR
A Reis Chicken is the Muslim Popeye´s Fried Chicken of Berlin town. Located in the working class Neu Köln area. I love oogling all the humpy turks in white pants, and swarthy A-rabs that leave my dry pussy very,very wet.
***
Time to reflect. Without generosity in the arts, there are no artists perfectly developed. Proust----a big YES!!!! Henry James---NO! Greta Garbo----Yes! Dietrich----No! Judy Garland-----triple dipple YES YES AND MORE YES! Frank Sinatra----a sad downcast eyes, NO! David Wojohowitz---Yes. Terence Koh---No!

SCHON KLAR UND WELCHE WÖRTER SIND DAS?
I think i forgot to mention that i went to see Ulrike Ottinger´s 1980s film re-telling of Dorian Gray starring Verushka. Ms. Ottinger creates lovely imagery, but she needs Jackie Reynal to edit for her. Film historian Marcu Siegel conducted a masterly interview with the legendary Verushka after the screening at Kino Arsenal.
***
Celebrity studded luncheon at Suzi Su´s Prince Lauber compound featuring Parisian wunderkind Christophe Chemin, directors The Reding Twins, ingenue Emma de Caunes, Yves St. Laurent designer Stefano Pilati,and studly uber manlische Nicolas Fargues. The food never stopped coming, and of course it was all deliciously served with the fervant Sachsee charm.
***
Caught the end of an NPR report on oil company conspiracy theories. Well my little lady view is: as the sunflower follows the sun by nature, so it is by nature that the oil companies rob the world. They do not have to get together and conspire to do what they have been doing since they came into existance.
***
An A-list actor acquaintance of mine, surprised me with a phone call. How he got my telephone number is beyond me, but he wanted to get my opinion on his performance in a new movie he stars in. Why he should care what i think, living among the elite in Hollywood as he does, is a subject i have ceased to chow down on.
However he was so urgent over the phone, and seemed so attached to this new project that I promised to watch the movie when its released in Berlina, and write a report on my blog.
Years ago i learned that truth is not the answer people seek when it comes to appraisel of their creative work. I can only hope that this new film won´t make it to Europe,and will receive a sympathetic burial, which according to what i have read about it online---- the entire premise seems silly, and useless as a vehicle for this particular actors imposing manly charms. o Ms. Davis why are you such a bitchina!

THE RICHES OF ADVENT
Discovered a new German religious observation called Advent. Never heard of it before, i guess its a Protestant thing, buts it happens on the Sunday leading to Christmas.
***
Hung out with LA art photographer Beth Herzhaft and her New York editor pal. Had a lovely time connecting with a native Angeleno, who although we've never met, we know all the same people from the punk and post punk scenes. She happens to be good buddies with one of my LA Weekly editors Robert Lloyd and grumpy Phil Heath of CowPoo and Re-Mix dead stock vintage apparel fame.
***
Gorgeous Dinette Set luncheon at Fearless Leader of kollective Cheap Suzi Su's compound with the Blue Bros- KJohnny & Tim, and film historian Marcu Siegel. Some crazy gnut emailed me about the Blue Bros. So many people read this blog, and i forget that sometimes. Well this wacko has a thing for twin bros, and somehow he thinks from my mentions in this bloggo, that The Blues are identical homosexual twin lovers. Talk about projecting his own fantasies on them. The guy came all the way from Miami to attend the premiera of Cheap Blacky just in the hopes of seducing the Blues, only to be disapointed that they weren't identical twin brothers. Not only are they not twins, they are 10 years apart in age, and one brother is gay and the other hetero. But this crazo has the nerve to complain to me that i mislead him.
***
Return of Max und Moritz at Parkaue. Lots of young trendies at the Saturday performance. I guess its people checking out the piece after the success of Cheap Blacky. Too bad the Parkaue will discontinue M&M at the end of the season next year. So go see it while you can. Anna and Christophe Chemin came on Sunday, the cast was in fine spirits with everyone ad libbing, and having a joyous good time. Frau Schuster was incredible!!!! Afterwards Anna and Christophe took me to the Mehringdam German Country restaurant Deitrich's where i had a heart meal---yummy.
***
I never go to house parties, but i attended the house warming of Senol and Angie on Saturday night. Senol and Angie both worked on the set for Cheap Blacky and are wonderful. Angie was the spinderella behind the wheels of steel and did a great job keeping the party energy super high. Usually houseparties in Berlin are a dull affair, but this one was rocking! I danced, flirted and danced some more. Great talking with pretty Michaela, Nico and the bbooks kollective posse. Booty princess Nanna Heidenreich and I led the freak dancing. Tall, elegant and handsome Ulli who i have such a schoolgirl crush on, with his fun loving and cute girlfriend are my big mama favorites. It was also nice to see Sasha with his pectoral implants. He just completed his disertation, plus a multitude of other beauty pies.
***
Years ago in LA i gave my old editor-in-chief at the LA Weekly a copy of a book i was writing called The Naked Goat, she thought it was good and passed it on to some well known New York editors at a major publishing house. Now it seems like they want to publish this novel of sorts. Life is sooo strange. I usually get tons of emails from publishers who want me to do an as-told to book about all the famous people i have the dirt on. When i mention to them that i have my own writing work, they condescendingly say to send them a complete manuscript, and they will look at it, as if i had nothing better to do but write books for their ok. Tired!!!
So as not to jinx The Naked Goat, i will just say that its a book divided into 9 self contained chapters: High Ranks, Ruined, The Cost of Star, Expectorant Angel, The Black Orchid, The Belle Falls, Excitement me, Broader Fields and The Silver Salver. Its autobiographic but in a sly way i write mainly about others, but throw in stuff about myself, so i tell the absolute truth without incriminating anyone by name. I originally wrote it very quickly and forgot that i gave it to Sue Horton, then editor of the LA Weekly, and that she recommended it to her New York editor friends. We´ll see if anything comes of it, and with my luck, nothing will.
***
Living in Exile here in Germany from Hollywood can sometimes be a hoot. At the library i keep abreast on things by reading the Guardian, and The Hearst International Paper, and at home i listen to NPR Berlin, and The BBC on the radio. I am forever struck by the fact that politics and money, and how these most complex dealings in human mischief are ruled by the most ordinary men who achieve wealth and power simply by fitting neatly into their appointed slots without disturbing the bureacratic or organizational machinary. From this point of view President Shrub could not have avoided being elected even if he wanted to.

LAST EMBRACE
Cheap Blacky production coordinator Anna came over to my Cheese Endique Studio for a sweet visit to cheer me up from my post Cheap Blacky depression. Anna brought with her some delicious dainties made from the former pastry chef of Berlin's famous Adlon Hotel. We had a wonderous girlie time, laughing and hooting it up royally. A few days later Christophe Chemin, the "It" boy from Paris cooked a sexy gourmand meal for me and Anna at his Mehringdamm flat. We watched several Cheap Blacky documentation videos, and in between critiquing, gossip and overall merriment, a lot of joy was spread like almond butter.
***
Went to see the Keira Knightly film Atonement that co-stars the bubble butt, tiny young British actor James McAvoy, who i met during Berlinale early in the year. He is even cuter in person then he appears on film. Too bad he is soooo damn demunitive.
The only thing men that small are good for is sitting on raw faces.
Speaking of the Berlinale. By popular demand Cheap is going to recreate our infamous Gossip Studio. This year we will also debut the Cheapy Awards as a companion piece to the Gossip Studio. More details forthcoming.
***
Next time you read this blog, you will get to be the first ones to sneak peak a new written series called Cornelius.

CINE CLUB
Gorgeous preseco pre-party at the Arsenal on Thursday with Empress Stefanie, Nanna Heidenreich and handsome Ulli in the Forum offices before my 2nd Rising Stars, Falling Stars silent movie presentation. After lots of primping, make-up and hair we all went down stairs for the program feeling a little toasty and bursting with love. Being with the Arsenal gang helped to shake away my post Cheap Blacky blues for good. Thank heaven for the Kino Arsenal, Miss Stefanie and her rock steady crew for my deliverance!!!
The divine Eunice Martin was in excellent form accompanying the films Fie´vre by Louise Delluc, and Man Ray´s Emak Bakia. After the screening we engaged in a delicious woman2woman conversation. I have to make a point to get Eunice invited to America to accompany the many silent film programs there, her style would be a revelation, and put a crimp in the tired boys club that is so prevalent there.
The celebs in attendance this month: Evie of bbooks,Tim Blue, Marc Siegel, Daniel Hendrickson of kollective Cheap, sexy Spanish siren Cristina with Wolfgang of Discoteca Flaming Star, Austrian poetess Sissy Tax, underground film guru Wilhelm Hein and his lovely art photographer girlfriend Annette Frick, Arsenal intern Weibke and her posse of 1920s inspired glamazons, Berlin legend Zazie de Paris, who rode her bike all the way from Charlottenberg, The Hebbel Theatre´s darling Anna Muelter, Parisian wonder boy Christophe Chemin, It Girl Angie, artist DL Alvarez and his posse of über friendly, fun and vivacious arganauts, theatre director Hans-Werner Krösinger(Beirut Report) actor Moritz Bleibtreau, Queeny German film comic Hape Kerkeling, and newly out lesbiana, and TV presenter for teutonias most important news program, the L-sexy Anne Will.
***
Sad note. I won´t mention his name, at this time, but an internationally known scenester passed recently. He made a career of his emotions. Periods of work or well endowed lovers were terminated by his frightening, abandoned laughter of despair and failure. Only his death this week, achieved in a fifth suicide attempt, could be termed a success.

SLASHING PATRIARCHY
The week run of Cheap Blacky directed by Judy LaBruce at HAU 2 is over. I am exhausted from the experience, so completely drained i can barely write this blog. Our little performance piece shattered box office records. Every performance with sold out with SRO seating, and this without the benefit of local reviews. The local press didnt know what to make of it, so they just ignored it. Good for them! A lot of people saw the performance two or three times, so we got a lot of repeat business clamor.
In reporting on the opening i left out a few names like artist Dean Samashima, and his cute curly haired asssistant, producer and filmmaker Jurgen Bruning, Berlin cabaret legend Zazie De Paris,Niko,Micheala,Evie and the divine Allessio of bbooks kollective.
I am still getting names, so the list will continue.
On closing night it was great to see Sebastian who performed in the first Cheap project in 2001, Cheap Jewelry. He has shaved off his blondine locks, and grown a Muslim style beard, which is very manlische on him. He still has his rock hard bubble butt.
I am still so overwhelmed by this production i can barely type a sentence. Since this piece was commissioned by two other theatres in Hamburg and Zurich, we will be traveling there next year as well as Austria and all through France and Belgium. Get ready for Cheap Blacky at a European city near you.

NEUE UFER
I´ve been getting a bunch of emails from LA folks who are coming to Berlin for a visit.
Texas Terri of the power pop band Texas Terri and the Stiff Ones, actually lives here in Berlin now and she sent me a sweet emug that she heard about Cheap Blacky and wants to come and see it.
***
After i perform for the closing night festivities for this festival in Zagreb in December i will get a chance to hang out with my old pal the Love Camel of Milan, who now lives in London. Love Camel is sooo quiet, and unobtrusive that sometimes you forget that he is even in the room with you. I love people with that kind of energy.
***
Got word from poor Glen Meadmore that he was robbed at Uzipoint in Frogtown(Atwater Village)in Los Angeles. The poor queen could have been killed. I love her to death, and worry about her constantly. Thank god she is going on tour next year with her band, of a few european countries. Talk about someone who is not appreciated in the states. Ms. Meadmore is an underrated genius.
Heard that my drag daughter Michele Carr of the Velvet Hammer fame moved back to LA. I never ran into her once, since i moved here, and when i had my sublet, someone said she was staying just around the corner from me.
It seems like every time i go into Nollendorky Platz i run into someone from my past. The other evening i bumped into a queen i use to see from the saunas in LA, i don´t know his name, he was just a tired black sauna woman, who would wear a wool hat haunting the halls of the Midtown Spa. I guess she wore that hat because she was bald or something. The queen had a million questions for me about life in Berlin, but i wasn´t feeling her, so i escaped her grip poste haste. Before that i ran into Lawrence Elbert at the grizzly, salty dog gay bar Sheune. I didnt even recognize him until he came up to me to say, "Hi". Lawrence actually has some talent as a cinematographer, so he should go far in the mainstream film world he covets so. Since i meet so many people from working with the Sundance Film Festival, and the Berlinale, i should recommend Lawrence for a job, he won´t appreciate it, but so what?

SCHATZ DU HAST EIN GANZ SCHÖN KORPER
Premiera of Cheap Blacky, and as usual evertime i perform its like the first time. I always get super nervous. I guess thats what gives me my edge. Been fighting a sore throat and the re-occuring knee problems that come with being elderly. Fortunately Anna, our super sonic production coordinator ran and got me some über anti-inflammatories that got me through the performance-thank god. The show went well. Director Judy LaBruce did a great job pulling it off, and with help from an expert lighting tech Hans,plus Tito and Reiner in the sound depart and all the wonderful tech guys at HAU 2 who always go way beyond the call of duty for Cheap.
Our show was the hottest ticket in town, with a sold out SRO crowd, which helped our ensemble sparkle. The biggest new discovery being Tan Binh Nguyen, our make-up designer, who besides beating a fierce face is quite a stage force, quietly stealing the show. German audiences are notoriously hard to read, but they are polite and reserved so its difficult to gage their true feelings. This particular piece is such a tour de force with Christophe Chemins fantastiche videos and set, and the glorious original music of the Blue Bros, and Daniela Modesto and with the language barrier, since the majority of the textis in English, that i believe its a lot to process all at once. Plus they don't have a reference point for this kind of work.
I was very happy with my performance nonetheless, and proud of my fellow Cheapies who tore up from the floor up. Special thanks to Rick Owens and his assistant Asha Mines. Rick really came through for his old LA girlfriend designing the costumes and making me a brand new gown that included a fox stole---can we talk glamour here.
Our after party was downstairs at WAU Cafe with the great Peaches and her honey Conny, tag team DJing. The atmosphere was very festive indeed. Of course my anti-inflams wore off and my knee kept me confined to a corner holding court, until a boxum blondine lad of 19 or so gave me some opiate in the form of a tiny pill which immediately downing with mineral water and a champagne chaser i was ready for the Boston Marathon. It would have been a pity to sit during a rock set of tunes that Peaches compiled that included Danzig, the B-52s Siouxie and the Banshees, so i got my lady dance on.
Here is the preliminary account of the celebutants, i will be adding to the list as information is confirmed and re-confirmed: Ibadette and Mickey One of the rock band Super 700, Cyril Duval, creative director of Item Idem and former editor of Tokyion Magazine who also designed the Bernard Wilhelm flagship store in Tokyo. Carl Hegemann of the Volksbühne, Barbara Weber, the artistic director of Theater am Nemarkt in Zurich, Troy Lopey, caterer to the stars, big diqued blue movie star Tim Kruger, Stefanie and Nanna of Kino Arsenal and the Berlinale's Forum Expanded who brought a virtual plethora of VIP guests with them including artists and filmmakers: Ulrike Ottinger, Louis Schneider & Arne Hochne of Piff Media, the Double Visions crew of Pablo de Ocampo(Images Festivial Toronto) Doina Popesco of the Goethe Institute Toronto who is the main organizer of the famous Experimental Film Congress whose new edition will be in the year 2009. Ms. Popesco was very lovely and charming, and would like to see Cheap Blacky come to Toronto, which would be great, but i don't think Cheap Blacky will be seen any time soon in the Americas.
Lauren Howes director of CFMDC, Christina Battle, Phil Huffman, Steven Andrews, Natascha Sadr Haghigian, Isabell Spengler, Rainer Bellenbaum, Erica Claus, the minister of culture with the Canadian Embassy, cute and delightful Arsenal interns Weibke and Julius. Cheap pals Annette Fricke, Wilhelm Hein, Evie of the b books kollective, Travis Jeppeson from Zoo Magazine and his lover Mario, Yusuf of Basso,
and well stay tuned to this blog because i will get all the gossip and scandals of that night in the next few days.

ALL THAT HEAVEN ALLOWS
Press rehearsal went well, and we got to work on ironing out some nagging problems with Cheap Blacky. Love the set that Christophe Chemin designed. Its very ill. No one makes this woman laugh more then my little french kitty Christophe, who is quite the Paris "It" boy, and is very popular with the mensis, who all kill themselves to chug on his huge gallic peterkus. After rehearsal and din din Bruce, Anna, our amazing production coordinator and all around keep-it-2gether girl, and Christophe went to see Jörg Buttgereit´s piece Captain Berlin versus Hitler at the HAU Eins. It was delightfully trashy, and since i am such Hitlerphile i could understand most of it, though it was all spoken in German. It was an obvious homage to the shlock movie classic, "They saved Hitler´s Brain". I thought that they could have gone a little further and made it more raunchy, with some fleshyness, and the piece is ripe for the musical treatment, which seems like the natural way to go, and i am surprised they didnt do that. But when most German theatre is sooooo sombre and dry, this was a nice wacky and refreshing treat. At the after party Judy, Anna and I hung out with the director and his wife talking about mutual comrades in arms Abel Ferrera, Asia Argenta and Joe Coleman.

DICTATION? NO REFLECTION
Cheap Blacky rehearsals are taking shape on the big HAU 2 stage. Our "little Kenneth Anger musical" as the press is calling it, is turning into something special. I love working with our cute dorky lighting tech Hans and his lanky blondine assistant Max. Remind me to perform fellatio on them, after the premiera.
***
You never know who you´ll run into in Berlin! Pleasant surprise bumping into Lawrence Elbert, who was my editor and DP on my 90s era experimental short subjects "Designy Living", "VooDoo Williamson" and "The White To Be Angry" He´s aged well--they make em big and brawny in his native state of Texas. In his youth Lawrence had one stunning body, and a bubble butt you could build a dream on. Not many white boys can boast of a high top round asstrovar of corrogated steel.
Lawrence and I had a falling out years ago, I´m sure it was all my fault, being that i am one self-absorbed bitchina, who gets easily offended, and if you look at me the wrong way i will send you into permanent exile. Many have been banished from the orbit of la diva, for the most minor crimes.
Actually Lawrence and I had a few great years collaborating on projects. I never thought we´d get along, as we are from such different worlds. I am not a middle class lady, so i don´t tend to gell with people from that kind of a background, especially gay men who are very ambitious and careerist.
Lawrence and I worked together on an awful Rosa Von Praunheim short for German television called "May I Be Your Bratwurst" Ms. Von Praunheim was quite handsome when she was young, and even up into becoming middle aged. She´s 65 now and Berlin is honoring her with a restrospektacle. It must be hard for a great male gay beauty to age. Male egos are fragile and gay male egos are even more brittle.
I am so glad i was never coveted for my looks or sexual prowess. I am a fascinating monster because of my intellect, or lack of it. I´m glad that cute young people are still drawn to me, and my work.

MEINE LIEBEN
Met those frisky teen lovers Travis and Mario at the Nobel Elf with Simon and Derek of the Bromley contingent. Siouxie Sioux sends her love to la diva Davis. I hated that i had to miss her new solo show here in Berlin at Columbia Hall. I had rehearsals with Cheap Blacky and then i was taken to a big dinner by Mattias, the head honcho of the Hebbel Theatre. The boys told me that a crazy woman stabbed three people at the performance with a pair of scissors. The divine Siouxie is a single woman, she and her husband Budgie are now divorced. I´d love to see Siouxie with a hot young stud paramour. I need that for myself, now that my Aryan ginger Viking trick has fled the premises. His last utterance being, "the woman in you is driving me to madness!" Oh welpsis, story of my life. Whenever i DJ i always play Siouxie and the Banchees "Hong Kong Garden" which never fails to rouse the kiddies.
The Cheap production of Max und Moritz resumed this week, so between rehearsals with Cheap Blacky, directed by Judy LaBruce, and the M&M´s i am tired and worn. The Cheap Blacky premiera is Monday November 12th with an afterparty at the WAU cafe, where Peaches will DJ. The Berlin run is from Nov 15-17 only, then we travel next year to Hamburg, Zurich, Vienna, Saltzburg, Graz and the whole of France. Perhaps even a city near you if you´re lucky.
***
Lawrence Roberts of Holy Tit Clamps fame sent me a copy of his latest CD, Meet the Griffles with his enchanting band The Winsome Griffles, who were favorites at Bricktops in Los Angeles, and have just returned from a tour of the east. Their record is charming and my favorite songs on the album are the Roberts penned ditties "Atheist Gospel Song" and "Crush Me". Do yourself a favour and go to www.myspace.com/winsomegriffles and order your copy today.
O and one more shameless plug. Mark in your calenderia Sunday, November 22nd for the Rising, Stars, Falling Stars at Kino Arsenal at the Sony Center at Potsdamer Platz where i will host a screening of the experimental silents Fievre 1921 by Louis Dellucs and Emak Bakia 1927 by Man Ray along with a conversation with the luminous Eunice Martins who will accompany both films on piano. After the screenings stay for a wine reception that features music,a film star photo collage and an erotic installation in the red foyer. Dress 1920s style, and be creative, its not that hard.

TANTALISE-WO WO EE YEH YEH
Went bar hopping the other evening with teen lovers Travis Jeppeson and Mario who were giving the royal treatment to visiting dignitaries Simon "Six" Barker and Derek Dunbar, formerly of the UK 80s band Jimmy The Hoover. My cousin Karla Maddog Duplantier was the bands drummer, and she is still the wife of Derek, who use to be a top male model besides being a rock star. Malcolm McClaren use to be the manager of Jimmy the Hoover, whose hit record was produced by Steve Levine of Culture Club fame. Jimmy the Hoover scored one mega UK hit, their way ahead of its time sound was ripped off by Tears for Fears. My creole cousin Karla was also a LA punk pioneer in the band The Controllers, and even did a stint in my group Cholita, the female Menudo. Karla is one of the most underrated talents of the punk era.
Simon and Derek have been lovers for 32 years, and now live in Prague where Simon works as a top fashion photog. It was great hanging with them and visiting the Berlin hustler bars Tobascos and Blue Boy, where we saw the same Romanian concubine who latched himself to Judy LaBruce a few days earlier.
Last night the director of the HAU theatre, Mattius Lienthal, generously took all of the Cheapies to a wonderful expensive Austrian dinner and drinks in Kreuzberg. A delightful time was had by one and all.

TIEFSEEABENTEUER
Had a nice little meeting with cute Balkan arts programmer/curator Zvonomir and his producing partner. We settled everything for my coming to Zagreb soon to present one of my infamous living installation closing night parties for their latest arts festival. Also got to meet Zvonimir´s incredibly beautiful Brazilian beau.
***
Check out the latest issue of Butt Magazine from Holland. The lady Ms. Davis is interviewed and photographed by Judy Labruce and its a riot. Went to Gayhane, the salon oriental with Travis Jeppeson and Mario. I´ve never seen so many ill queens or bad fashion outfits. Very entertaining evening. Had a flirtation with a muscular big dicked Columbian and he sniffed at my hole----yummy.

GIVE PIECE OF ASS A CHANCE
Went back to see more screenings of the 2nd Annual Porn Film Festival at the appropriately named Kant Kino. Watched a classic blue movie from the 70s starring Harry Reemes as Dr. Snake. Hysterical! Like an avant garde film, and so playful in tone. Harry has a magnificent body, all hairy and cocksure, though he is a complete dorkus of the first magnitude.
Saw the Judy LaBruce lesbian short, that is also riotous! It was quite the crowd pleaser. The other films in the program were a bit spotty. I did like this Italian kids collagey erotic short subject, and a French dykes female ejaculation porn had some good ideas, but the flow was just too stark and cybortic to really win me over. Some New York pornographer who works for such mainstream porn outfits as Hustler and Penthouse presented a film with this Cambodian woman shooting milk enemas that while at times very funny, missed the mark with its attempt at bringing in a political commentary on the media and gentrification. If anything the film worked the opposite affect making you long for gentrification, anything to stop the flick from continuing.
Afterwards Judy, Anna from the HAU, teen stars Travis & Mario, and I went to drink at the Blue Boy Hustler Bar. One of the few rent boy bars i´ve never been to. Loved it! The hot concubines were in full force, and some of them were beyond amazing.
***
Received a wonderful surprise care package from Jean Spinosa and all the Bricktop kids. It warmed my black lady heart, making me feel trully missed and cared for.

MIT BESTEN EMPFEHLUNGEN
DJ/VJane for the opening party of the porno film festival. Had a riotious good time spinning my crazy brand of music. Lots of sexy boys and girls abounding. I don´t think that people realize that i play music from bands and individuals that is given especially to me, and that no other dj owns or has a copy of. I´ve been around long enough to know all the greats, from Dolly Parton to LeTigre, and i have special re-mixes that you´ll only hear from lady me!!!! The only odd thing about the porn party was they had some funky dude in a pony tail doing bad spoken word early in the evening. The special abstract porn that Tim Blue of Cheap made for me, was also a big hit at the Porn Party and at the Queer FM soiree in Vienna. Wish i could have stayed longer DJing, but i had Cheap Blacky rehearsal bright and early. Thank you to all who came out to hear me spin behind the wheels of steel.
Had a fabulous dinner at the Austrian restaurant in Fredrichshein Park with Marcu, Suzi and Marcu´s mother and cousin from the states. I love Austrian food. When i was in Vienna, Ali and Papi took me to this cute place for luncheon right next door to my hotel Fürstenhof, which is the Vienna version of the Chelsea where all the rock gods stay when in town.
Went to see a screening of the Israeli erotic film Too Hot in Tel Aviv, with DJ Snax, Travis Jeppeson and his smoking hot Slovakian lover Mario. The Israeli film is genius, with some of the most incredible hunks i have ever witnessed on the silver screen. Even the tiny Israeli director was too hot for words. I told him i will buy his next blue movie if he appears in it. Even Jurgen Bruning who facilitated the Q&A was noticeably vaklempt by this young strkingly beautiful jewish child. After the flicker we walked down to Francisco, the wrinkle bar for some drinks. All the elderly faggots were in a tizzy over the youthful Travis and Mario. They don´t get a chance to see such fresh faced and well scrubbed teenage boys, who still have their bloom on. A lot of the Germany teens can look a little worn for the wear, if you know what i mean. I´ve been getting lots of emails from the states by mydirty old men blog subscribers who want to know more about Travis and Mario. Someone even asked me what do they smell like?

ADDENDUM KALEDUM
I didnt get any sleep before my Arsenal program, so i performed like a zombie. Thanks to eveyone who showed up. Just got word on some more dignitaries that attended Rising Stars Falling Stars: cultural critic Diedrich Diedrichsen, art historian Juliane Rebentisch, Anna from the Mountain installation dressed in prestine 20s garb, actor and musician Stefan Faupel(Stoffel Fliegt Ubers Meer) and director Todd Verow.

FLESH FOR LULU
Last night at Kino Arsenal was the premiere of the new film series Rising Stars, Falling Stars, that i am hosting, and it was a major success. I performed along with Lars Von Trier darling Daniel Hendrickson on piano. The print of Pandoras Box was strikingly restored, and Eunice Martin who accompanied the film, made me feel like i was seeing the movie for the first time, and indeed in many ways its like i was reborn anew.
Empress Stefanie, my new name for the director of the Arsenal, is such a joy to work with, and she loaned me some of her personal jewelry collection when i forgot a special necklace that went with my haute coutour(i am an awful speller) outfit. Of course Nanna Heidenreich, Empress Stefanie´s right hand girl was there helping me as well, and young jewel Julius Bauer, the Arsenal intern who translated the Italian title cards. Julius also worked very hard on making the event shine. Also many thankx and kisses to the Kassa girls, Arsenal Staff and Ooshee, the top rate projectionist-she´s no nonsense with a heart of gold. Great seeing Peter of the Parkaur Theatre, Troy Lopez, the handsome Blue Bros. KJohn and tim,fearless leader Suzi Sue, Marc Siegel, his mother and cousin, composer David Woodward, Assof Hochman, Parisian "It" boy Christophe Chemin, Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras with his Canadian posse, German underground legend Zazie De Paris, Marcian, Michele Baglerue, beautiful Uli, who just returned from Japan and brought la diva some gorgeous, spiritual, sumu wresting cards. Anna of the Hebbel Theatre, Zoo Magazine writer Travis Jeppeson with his lover Mario and many more celebutants. i will get the full list of who´s who later and report back to you. I am exhausted from not having had much sleep with all my traveling, so i will now retire to coma land.

ANDREA DWORKIN LIVES
Whirlwind couple of days for the old lady Ms. Davis. Invited to old Vienna, Austria where i did my performative DJane/VJane set for FM Queer which is part of the Austrian Broadcast Corp, a national public radio station. Claudia and Martin from the station put on this big party several times during the year and its always a sensation. Last year JD of LeTigre and Joel Gibb of Hidden Cameras DJ´d. For this year bands like Lesbians on Ecstasy from Toronto performed along with TNT Jackson, Jean Genet from the UK and DJs Czesch Pieper and Hölzl Dasem. Cute Martin and pretty Uta picked me up from the aeroport and took me to a wonderful Austrian style dinner. Austrian food is much better then German food, and i pigged out on a feast set before my large gullet. The next day Ali Janka of Geliten fame and his lover, Papi Choulo Baby took me to a sumpteous lunch, and a little sight seeing including a stop at the piss eleganza Savoy, which is filled with rough around the edges Balkan hustlers. The evening of the party Wolfgang, a high fashion makeup artist who does the Paris runway beat me a fine glamour face, and my escort to the party was sexy middle eastern radio diva Riem. We bonded immediately and became best girlfriends.
Everything went well, but being the kind of woman i am, of course there was a bit of controversy. A group of anti porn lesbian feminists objected to my gonzo black straight porn images that i was showing. I was surprised that in Europe that kind of polemic would arise. Thats something i would expect in puritanical and brittle Amerikkka, but not in Austria, though they do have a right wing government in power, but the dated PCness was unexpected and caught me by surprise. I guess black sexuality is still super frightening to the white bourgeois and middleclass who think of themselves as progressives, but in actuality aren´t. At the party there was a group of pro porn feminist who got angry that i stopped showing the images. I also brought gonzo gay porn, but the DVD player wouldn´t read it. Thankfully Tim Blue of kollective Cheap made me a DVD of his excellent abstract porn which looked lovely on the giant screen and his politically charged images memsmerized the crowd.
And people loved the music i played, plus i got to tag team with one of the cultural bureau house DJ´s whose name is Marty, and we had a fun time trying to keep up with each other. I adore Vienna, and would love to come back in the spring for a getaway.
All the Geliten crew stopped by to see me spin, and even easy target Heiko, my nemesis curator from Steirersher Herbst Festival came up to the booth to warmly greet me.