SCHON KLAR UND WELCHE WURTER SIND DAS
Invited to a scrumpteous feast of many divine courses by Annette Frick and Wilhelm Hein, Germanys first couple of experimental film and photography. Joining the lady Ms. Davis, her ninja mutant body guards the Blue Bros. Tim and Kjohnny. The dinner score provided by Thelonius Monk with assist by the recently departed great jazz drummer Max Roach and an exciting mix of guests including the haute art couple Klaus Loeser and Jacobina, and other young film stars that circle the Hein/Frick orbit.
***
Feeling nostalgic i started to think about whatever happened to Zachary, the famed tux wearing MC of the early 80s punk scene, also Tina Benet, the drag junior pop star from the same period. I even started wondering out loud about my old trick Myrakle, the big dicqued ginger hippy dippy horn pig, who loved cornholing, or at least trying to cornhole young boys. When i met the nut i was in my mid twenties but i lied and told him i was only 19, so of course he was all over me, but i wouldnt give him any puddy as i sensed he was a love em and leave em type.
***
Lady Stefanie of the Arsenal and her wonderful comrades in arms have been putting together some sublime katakas that are becoming the talk of all Berlin town. And with special guests like the legendary Yvonne Rainer, its no wonder that all eyes are focused on Freunde der Deutschen Kinemathek. We went cruising the Dam, as in Potsdamer to catch the Where Am I, Vom Verschwinden, Verstecken und Wiederfinden expertly paced programa which featured works by MM Sera, Klaus Telscher, Karo Gooldt, and Ayse Erkmen, with live appearances by Tim Blue of Cheap, humpy Rusky Steffen Ramlow, and vivacious Isabel Spengler, who also had an installation in the Red Foyer.
Daniel of Cheap even spent some time with the nutty Istanbul professor and coffee cup soothsayer, who is featured in Erkmens hilarious Coffee.
The celebutantes in attendance> Daniel Hendrickson, Annette Frick, Wilhelm Hein, Radcliffe Hallish diva Antonia Baehr, handsome and patrician Uli of the Berlinales Forum, who told me that he didnt care for working with the French TV company Arte awhile back. The manlische, lanky editor of Scrub Magazine Justine, pulling the popsicle chord next to baby faced Arsenal, Cheap Gossip intern Julius, KJohnny Blue, and the blackest white girl in Berlin Nanna Heidenreich who has one luscious onion ass, that is soooo good, it makes you cry.

MIR DEN KAMM ZUNICK
There is this nutty tradition in Germany where youngish men, and sometimes men a bit long on the tooth from the provinces dressed in chimney sweep garb go wandering throughout the big cities in a form of sanctioned begging. I´ve been noticing it more and more, and its really ill.
***
Sports coats and more sports coats. I see more men of varying ages wearing a sports coat over jeans or dress slacks. These sports coats are either of light material or heavy during the winter. I find sports coats a bit apalling. What do you think?
***
Now lets move on to hair. If i see one more boy wearing the faux hawk/mullet coiffure i will start screaming and never stop. Daniel of Cheap says that Berlin is the city where every youth culture fashion from the last 50 years languishes and refuses to die. I think he is right. And speaking of death, this is a perfect segue into death rock and goth-two subcultures that are appropriately mega in a city like Berlina where actual death, of time immemorial hovers throughout its basin. Goth here has somehow transmorgified and fused with the Matrix movie and Columbine. On hot, humid days you can see many an xurbian male roaming the u-bahn stations with long black coats, hair in a ponytail, shaved on the sides and died black. These men always are pasty skinned, lacking chins with bland features, and seem like they spend countless hours playing Dungeons and Dragons. Don´t get angry with me, Ricky Castro´s of the world, i´m just expressing an opinion. If you don´t care for my opinions,and or you find offense, calmly stop reading this blog.
***
One more observation. White people must stop wearing their hair in dreadlocks. It looks horrible on blacks, but on whites its even worse. That goes for the tendril dreads, and the shaved head with one dread fish tail. And please, please stop forming drum circles. If you can´t clap to the beat, how are you supposed to drum to it.

MIR DEN KAMM ZUNICK

UNSA FÜSIEGIEHRA
Wonderous brunchette with Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, just back from a specialty engagement in Munich where he and his musical kollective were the special play things of a famous German/Turkish footballer named Mehmet who had them perform at a stadium during an exhibition game as part of the festivities of Manlische Mehmet´s 36th birthday and retirement from the pitch. Mr. Mehmet whose last name i don´t remember, but i am sure you football fans know him, because he is one of the biggest stars of the game in Teutonia, even bought all the band members, and choir full leather lederhosen.
Getting back to our private brunchina, it featured super tasty Israeli dancer Assaf Hochman of Catherine Sullivan´s troup, entrepreneur Marco Herbst, and a very understated Baroness Anna Von Hahn who is a big Vaginal Davis fan and has been since she was a teenager. That means i am super old folks.
Joel Gibb is off again, this time to Stockholm, and from their back to his Canadian homeland for a few months of recording. I will miss the baby diaper, which is his new nickname, that everyone now is calling him, thanks to yours truelly.
I don´t care for dogs and Berlin is a very dog oriented town. Even the drunken Kotbusser Tor crusties have rangy mutts, that look just like them. One positive thing i can say about dog owners in Berlina is that they train their pooches. LA dog owners could learn a lesson from their sister city counterparts.
If you are a hetero woman and want to get married and knock out babies. Berlin is the place to do that. The men here, are easily henpecked and love being stay-at-home dads, in fact they excel in it, and you see more cute young dads then in any western city, and i mean hands-on-dads, who at least don´t treat their children like fashion accesories the way the bougie do in the states.
Like in Amerikkka, the normals in Germany are uber normal. But when you find fun, frolicsome Germans with a great sense of humour, hold on to them for dear life, because they are few and far between. And don´t let me start about "the German gays". Thats another book in and of itself.

ICH IHN NICHT INS BETT
Once in a blue moon i look at other blogs to compare and contrast my blog and website with whats going on in the greater cyberische. My sweet little blog and webpage are relatively plain and simple, with no fancy graphics or clever razzle dazzle. I am not adroit in computer technology. Indeed, I am a technophobe. Luckily the wonderful Larry Bob who maintains and controls my web presense keeps everything smooth and simple.
Most blogs I have checked out are rather dull and mundane, just tagging their latest projects or reposting things that are already on You Tube or elsewhere. One exception is www.AliceBag.com by Alice Bag, the legendary LA punk singer and songwriter of the seminal band The Bags. Alice and I go way back before the flood. She was also a member of my groups The Afro Sisters and Cholita, the female Menudo. Alice's much younger big dicked husband, Jailbait Velasquez is the designer of her web page, and he has done a marvelous job with her extensive archive. The writing in her blog is crisp and insightful, and no one conducts an interview like Ms. Alicia, who manages to put the academics to shame with her unique scholarship.

***

Saw for the second time in three weeks the handsome freckle faced Turkish pop star Mohabet, walking casually and alone on the mean streets of Neu Kolln. I would certainly love to suck on his penis for a week straight without coming up for air.

***

Berlin has its own Dennis Woodruff, who drives around Neu Kolln and Kreutzberg. Well the Berlin version is better, in that he isnt trying to work a pathetic acting career, but his automobile is all tricked out like a giant Sigmund and the Seamonster aqua marine adventure vehicle. Love it.

***

Great Cheap Blacky rehearsal followed by drinks with Kjohnny, Assoff Blood of Abraham and Judy LaBruce as the sweet and sexy Wolfgang Tillmans DJed at the Nobel Elf. Lots of hunky men gathered about, and mucho mucho touristas. Great seeing Wolfgang and his beau Anders, as well as Damon Matt the Young Elder and his friends. Also bumped in to tall, handsome Justin of Scrub Magazine, looking a bit awkward and uncomfortable, and i flirted with a hot New York dark haired boy concubine with a bodacious rack.

FALSCHSPIEL UM HÖHERES
A pal of mine in merry ole England has invited little me to stay with him at the newly restored Apethorpe Hall in Northhamptonshire. The 15th Century former borstal has a scandalous past. King James 1 used the house as a bordello for him and his hungthrob young lover George Villiers, Duke of Buckingham to entertain their numerous concubines and rough trade tricks. During the restoration effort they discovered lots of secret passages linking the bedrooms of James & George with a myriad of other men they fancied. Queenly kings---they never seem to change. Since this friend of mine who works for English Heritage is quite cute, and humpdilly, i hope to bring some sex majick back to the old homestedt heath once again.
***
One of my favorites passed away recently. Lee Hazelwood, who wrote the Nancy Sinatra hit "Boots", and collaborated with her on many projects. His solo releases have become cult favs.
***
Accompanied director Judy LaBruce to the Lido in Kreutzberg to see CocoRosie, an enigmatic new musical group of singing sisters who are pals with Antony of Antony and the Johnsons, and Kembra Pfahler of The Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black. The venue was packed with indie rock children, who came to experience the operetta cum hoppity sounds by the gorgeous, well racked Casady Sisters, Bianca and Sierra(in a Nike Sportsbra), who divide their time between New York and Paris. Its been a long time since i went to a concert, and was thrilled when Ms. Bianca pulled out her harp and began to play the delicious notes. These young ladies were very sweet, well mannered and personable. See them now before they become huge international sensations. When Judy and i hung out with them backstage between their first performance and midnight show, they showered us with attention as elder statewomen of the queercore scene. Judy is using some of the CocoRosie songs in his new flick Otto-Up With Dead People. And their textural meloncholic ditties will definately be a highlight of his film. I also loved the projections they used during their stage presentation. The filmed sequences of Kembra in VH glory, and the Wayan Bros from the White Chicks movie gave me an extra added hoot.
***
Little things i have to get use to in Germany. Number 1: The metric system. Number 2. Military time.
***
Davide Grassi, the perfect man from Aksioma Institute of Contemporary Art in Ljubjana, Slovenia has changed his name to Janez Jansa, who is the right wing prime minister of Slovenia. Leave it to Davide to come up with an interesting politikal art intervention. I love Davide, i mean Janez, and his gorgeous wife Marcella, oops thats Mrs. Janez.
***
The amazing and lovesexy Wolfgang Tillmans will be in Berlin for the rest of the month. Can´t wait to hang with him and his uber hung boyfriend Anders.
***
Art invite to Cork, Ireland and Cardifff, Wales. Will let all the fans know more as that develops.

KULISSE FUR DIE LIEBE
I have been formally invited to Iran for a year as an artist in residence, by an my old university friend Kaveh Kamooneh. When Kaveh was young he was a major Persian babe, with wavy hair, full lips, dreamy long dark eyelashes, broad shoulders and thick, large manly hands and feet. Of course Kaveh is now middleaged, married with kids, is a bit dumpy, but is still adorable. Moving to Assyria would be scary, but so was relocating to Europe, and i did, though no one in icky LA really expected that i would take this plunge. I am not getting any younger, or prettier, so its now or never when it comes to taking risks in my life as a cristaline intity. I will let you know more of this as it develops.

EINSATZ AM KOTTI
Worked in the studio most of the week-end spitting out Vagimule collages. Something tells me i need to concentrate on this medium as its very much "The Lady". Had a meeting with pretty Italiana Ms. Tatiana and the darling girls of Cum2Cut who are working this year as partners with Jürgen Bruning and the Porn Film Festival. Last year my performative workshop Porno Adorno-How to F*ck Like the F*cking Blacks was a huge hit. Over drinks at The Nobel Elf the girls asked me to perform for the opening party, but with all my committments in the fall, i will only be able to do a DJane set and provide the visual stimuli with my trespass cinema colleziones.

KILLER TÖTEN TOTE STERBEN
Moving abroad comes ripe with a few problemas. First of all there are no 24-hour supermarkets or drug stores in Berlin. On Sundays everything, and i do mean everything closes down, also on holidays, which seem to be numerous, and pop up when you least expect them, especially them damn religious holidays. O and during the week the supermarkets only stay open till 8pm. Takes a little bit of getting use to.
***
Got a snarky email from Jim Monk of Monk Magazine fame. I´ve always liked Michael Monk, who is soft spoken and sweet, but that Jim----lets just say he doesn´t exactly make the Vaginal list.
***
Ran into handsome writer Nicolas Fargues outside of my local Sparkasse. The striking scribe oozes sex, but just isnt flirtatious enough for "the doll". If a man doesn´t jump on my bones immediately, that gigante womanly ego just can´t handle it, and wants said male person to drop dead immediately. I can´t help it if i´m just like Madame Mau.
***
Met for several hours at my studio, the Cheese Endique Trifecta with young British/Israeli PhD student Damon MattYoung, who is a close friend of my sweet academe pal Dr. Dom Johnson who is currently in Palm Springs for the summer.
Tall and lanky Damon is reading at Berkeley, but has been studying German in Berlina for the past month. We had a nice time dwinking wine and chatting about our both being anti-gay gays, among a myriad of other topics. Its always a pleasure kicking back with a good looking softspoken youthquaker.
Speaking of anti gay, Glen Meadmore gave me a call that Rick Castro had read my last blog post and was furious, and wanted my email for a rebuttal. If he does email me, it will certainly automatically go into the spam folder where it will conveniently disapear into cyber space. If Ricky wants a rebuttal he should start his own blog, then he can say what he pleases, to whomever cares to listen.

THE PIES CAKE
That Ricky Castro sure is one nervy fag-got. Not only does he have the audacity to manipulate Glen Meadmore into emailing me to ge the telephone number of Bruce La Bruce producer Jürgen Bruning, but to add insult to injurina he even prods Glen to procure his number from my kollective Cheap collegue Tim Blue, who Glen had only just met a few weeks ago. Now that takes some royal nerviticus. I can only guess that he is STILL trying to secure financing for a pet movie project of his about lesbians called Birkinstock.
Rick has short term memory when it comes to wanting something from someone. He forgets that during Hustler White´s international film festival circuit tour years ago that Miss Jürgen wasn´t exactly thrilled by the Castro overly demanding Aleister Crowleyan charms. In fact Jürgen told me, during an interview for the DVD of Hustler White that he can´t stand Ricky. What set him off was that even before principle shooting began Rick used my old lawyer boyfriend Marcus Bastida, to serve notice to Jürgen of how his final credit in the pic should appear. Granted the movie making business is ripe for rip-off, and one needs to protect oneself, but HW wasnt some multi-million dollar Hollywood production. When Rick and i were friends and collaborators we use to laugh out loud at people that he has now turned into.
Rick definately has talent, and many times has almost become rich and famous from that talent. However, something always seems to stand him short of that goal, i can certainly relate to the fact that getting older with no long term financial security is a frightening prospect in this heartless global economia, but come off it! I would suggest that Rick needs to stick to his current successful LA grift, The Antebellum Art Gallery, which according to my friend Hector seems to be doing quite well. Rick will never run out of sad, horny LA men eager to see live nude, well built, well endowed young models in compromising positions.
And speaking of blasts from the past, i had run into Michi, who was once Rick´s partner in I Love Ricky, at the airport in the states awhile back. Michi is as no nonsense as ever, and the only person who Rick would back down to. Rick and i will never be friends again, but the one person he would still like to have in his life is Michi, who is quite a successful industry veterana. One of these days i will have to write in this blogina what Michi and i talked about, it is very illuminating.

THE PIES CAKE

MORE THEN YOU KNOW
Pre Berlin Hilton party at Joel Gibb alias the Baby Diaper of the Hidden Cameras for dwinky poos. Met gorgeous, hunky Sebastian who produces some MTV Germany Rap program. He told me of his misadventures as an exchange student in Arlington Texas, where his host family told him he cant have any niggers, spics or chinks as friends, only whites, and kicked him out of their house when he missed Sunday church.
Later at the B Hilton Judy LaBruce was the guest dj playing a set list of Canuck hits like American Woman, which had partygoers like Peaches going wild. The lady Peaches was looking very lovesexy, showing the German children how you have fun at a party, something they really need to learn. Also on hand, Britains Noblesse Oblige, Christof Chermin, and Israeli hungthrob Assof Hochman.

NUTZTSIE IHRE CHANCE
Zac Elfron the queeny kid that stars in that tired musical remake of John Water's Hairspray has been making the fag rounds in Berlin, and actually came on to me. What could Ms. Male base do for the doll you ask, well absolutely nothing. I did share a quick snog at Berlin Hilton with model Calum Best.
I've already cheated on the new Belgium pencil dick, i've been seeing. I'm sure he doesnt read my blog, so don' tell him. My paramour is an Argentinian experimental music artist with pre-mature salt n pepper hair and a humpy body and flagrante penis delecti that you'd sell your grandmother for. And can we talk about a matinee idol smile---brilliantine! Actually my trick is of Italian, Sicilian origins, and hails from Buenos Aires. I loves me some dark swarthyness----"i'm famished for the dark ones, and tired of the light ones". Argentine Gabriel spent hours devoted to my asstrovar, trying to dislodge its Vulcan death grip, he almost succeeded, but not quite. I am still an anal virgin---thank god.
***
Lovely postcard to the Witwe Bolte from Stefanie of the Arsenal Kino who is on a well deserved holidaze in Portugal. Frauline Stefanie is the hardest working young woman in the experimental cinema world, constantly toiling around the clock to advance the movement.
***
Daniel of Cheap used his new tagine to cook a scrumpteous Moroccan feast at Piero la Colleziones palazzo on the Kurfurstendamn, even his ultra sexy next door neighbor smelled the food, and brought over a bottle of Syrian wine, fishing for an invite. The meal was much better then the one provided by Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, whose new Berlin compound is somewhat rickity. Angelina may be with Brad, but she hasnt given up her lesbiana relations with former Calvin Klein mannequin Jenny "Chicken" Shimizu, but of course now they've progressed to a hot buttery threegy with Bradley taking the lead. Bradster is no sranger to whoregies having been the center of many during this boy ingenue days in the late 80s, before he went out with Robin Givens. Brad's hommeshinanigans would put a Falcon Video pac star to shame.

PER ANHALTER IN DEN TOD
Work on Cheap Blacky is progressing nicely. Besides Fassbinder´s films Whitey and Beware the Holy Whore as inspiration, Judy LaBruce has added Passolini´s Teorema, Reflections of a Golden Eye and Joseph Losey´s Boom starring Liz Taylor and Richard Burton. We´re also going to use some real life maids and servants in the production---its going to be a hoot!
***
Had a date with a wealthy Belgium man, thanks to matchmaker Hugo. The dude was pretty sexy, with a nice muscular body--incredible broad shoulders, pretty eyes, large nose, lots of things i like in a man child. When he started to mack on me, it was passionate fruitas and babytenderlove. He even knew how to suck titty properly, which is a major plus, as i have ultra sensitive nips. The only thing i didnt like was his pencil dick. It was uber long, but not very thick, and this girl likes thickness in the mitigated area of the thrombone. But i shouldnt be so picky as he eagerly and greedily chowed down on my nasty nappy dugout for hours that seemed like days, so when a man takes care of your garden salad like that, you shouldn´t easily negate him. But lets face it Vaginal Davis is a selfish bitch, and she never gets enough attention from men. I am like a baby bird, always wanting MORE! MORE! MORE!

EATICUS INTERUPTICUS
Love sexy allyoucaneat bruncheon mit fearless leader of Cheap kollective, Susie Su and Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras at Frida Kahlo Bistro in the land of the monster truck SUV babystrollers. Talk about a glam meeting of the minds! We decided that a collaborative project is a future must. The other evening Joel showed me his collaboration with a Toronto modern dance company. I liked the choreography that Joel did much better then the dance troupes choreographer which was cliche barefoot modern dance moves and very bland white peopleish
++++
My old pal from a million years ago Hugo, who use to work closely with 80s designer Claude Montana owns a most unusual gay matchmaking service that specializes in hookups for dinge queens looking for that perfect piece of jubas jubilee. Hugo charges astronomical fees, and both the snow and dinge must be professionals, to exclude gold diggers and the shiftless. Sweet Hugo let me join the roster for free, and has packaged me as a famous international black artist, newly based in Berlin. Well my profile appeal went skyrocketing through the roof, and now I am getting requests for dates from all over the world by some men who look really sexy in their computer profiles. Who knows how they will appear when in person. Will keep you posted on the results. At worse the men will all be psychos, and at best this will turn out to be a phun experiment that will provide me with plenty of fodder to write about.
++++
Ingmar Bergman died today. The 7th Seal, Wild Strawberries, Cries and Whispers, Fanny and Alexander, were just a few of my favorites. Tell me yours.
++++
Cheap Blacky inspiration night with our director Judy LaBruce, set designer Christophe Chermin, production coordinator Anna and the rest of the Cheap gang. We watched for herspiration the 1967 John Huston film Reflections of a Golden Eye starring a mumbling Marlon Brando, Liz Taylor, Brian Keith, Julie Harris, a young humpy Robert Foster, as the object of homosexy desire, and a demented filipino queen named Anacleto who reminded me of the flip gay comic actor and histrionic showboater Alex Mapa.

FOREVER CAMEMBERT
Got word from Los Angeles that Mark Haggard died of an overdose of drugs. Not a surprise there. Last time i saw Mark he was all strung out in MacArthur Park, had lost tons of weight and was carrying a large duffel bag, so i guess he was also homeless. He had been an on-off drug addict for years. More on then off. When he was sober he was a nice guy. The love of his life was a queercore performer named Travis, who wasn´t much known outside of LA punk rock circles. Travis died years ago, and Mark never really recovered from that. He had met a boring wealthy fag from Palm Springs who was very much in to him, taking him on expensive vacations and whatnot, but Mark managed to ruin even that relationship. LA is one lady of a city that destroys people. Thats one of the many reasons i had to get out of Dodge!
****
Was sent a link to an academic journal from England with an essay called Queercore-The Distinct Identities of Subculture, that came out in Feb 1997 by Michael Du Plessis and Kathleen Chapman. The article is one of the best things written about me by an academic. Why did it take ten years before i found out about it?
***
Spent a long lovely day with the baby diaper Joel Gibb of The Hidden Cameras. He is back in Berlin after months of touring. He told me some hot gossip about some new pop star i have never heard of named Lilly Allen, who was coming into his dressing room to do lines of cocaine, and that Jake Shears of the Scissor Sisters wanted Joel as a guest star in his bedroom, joining him and his lover. Joel is a sexy young man, who is desired by many. We went to some squatter party on Casting Couch Allee to see Malte´s drag band play, but i came down with diarrea and we had to suddenly leave and find me a toilet to splodge in. It took me forever to recover, so when i was feeling better we headed to Maria to see Noblesse Oblige perform. Maria is a tired club with awful techno music playing. Thank god for Val and her hot boyfriend who put on a wonderous little performance, showing everyone how its properly done. There´s nothing like london moxie, hurray!!!!
***
Got an emug from Bill Silva of Silva Productions, Mgmt and Brand Entitlement Corporation. Bill produced the Margaret Cho Tour i was on years ago and also now manages Margaret and Jason Mraz. Jason is a cute kid, but i find his music dull, which means its perfect for the mainstream, and that is why he is so successful,that and the hard work of having someone like Bill Silva behind you. Looked at Bill´s website and i noticed he is still managing John Hogan, but not Bruce Daniels the black queen who now opens for Margarets tour. Hmmmmm . . .interesting. Margaret Cho´s former manager Karen is suing both Margaret and Bill. She even sent me an email with copies of the court papers, knowing that i am a big gossip queen and that of course i would report it on my blog, which is better then putting it on a billboard. I never liked Karen, but i´ve always liked Bill who is a silver haired fox. Bill should manage Joel Gibb and the Hidden Cameras, they would be the perfect prestige artist on his roster.

Have a brunch date with a big dick Belgium man, so i will continue this later.

CYBER PORK CHOP
Wonderful meeting at HAU with the entire Cheap Blacky gang, including director Bruce "Judy"LaBruce and lovesexy French set designer Christoff. Later Judy, Christoff and I had lunch at a nice bistro off of trendy Mehringdamm. Judy sez the rushes of his new film "Otto-Up With Dead People" look incredible thanks to the precise lighting work of ace cinematographer James Carman & crew. In the evening Cheap fearless leader Suzi Sue cooked one of her legendary feasts, where i stuffed myself silly. A wonderful time was had by all.

This just in:

The Russian dissident poet and artist suprema Slava Mogutin and his child bride Brian will be leaving Berlin to go back to New York City. The two extremely beautiful men, had been living here for several months as a home base while they spirited the European continent with a myriad of art shows, performances and installations. Wherever they went, major dick envy, skandal and mayhem followed.
I wish i could have seen the boys just once, but our hectic schedules precluded some face-to-face, though we did have some emug exchanges. Slava even directed an art porn film for Cazzo, the Berlin based blue movie company, but the word is that the owner of the company won´t release it. During the filming of Bruce La Bruce´s Skin Gang, this said owner of Cazzo gave La Judy major headache. Who knows what he put pretty Slava through. Lets just say I have been introduced to this man who i believe is named Jorg something or other, and while he is tall, handsome and well endowed, he comes off as the ultimate ice prince. Not exactly a warm, friendly sod. He was partners in Cazzo with LaBruce producer Jurgen Bruning, and that relationship went bust. Herr Bruning now heads his own porn empire slyly called Wurst Films.
Anyways i hope that Slava is able to get what he filmed for Cazzo away from its owner, so that the world can see it. i know i´d sure like to.

MIR GEHT DAS UNEHELICHE
Blacky rehearsal was interrupted by a surprise visitor from American shores, none other then the 6´9 inch Canadian cowpoke Glen Meadmore. My handy decided to go kaput, so poor Ms. Meadmore couldnt get ahold of me, so he recruited Felix Knoke the Das Stern investigative reporter to track me down via HAU and fearless leader Suzi Su. Whew!!!!
Glenda, the Good witch of the East, and I spent a sweet big lady day together, cruising Heisenhide Park for large uncut cock, gossiping, and just being criminally insane biatches. i havent seen the woman in over six months, and i was surprised a bit to see how the many years of negotiating the ickyness factor of LA life has left some wear and tear on her serene visage. The Meadmore is a gentle, pure soul, and i would like to see her thrive to the levels that her supreme genius deserve. She is certainly one of the most underrated stars to emerge from the underground in the latter half of the last century, and i love her dearly.
I was so overcome with emotion, that i had to go the the Frankenstein 5000 pub to soak in gin, and was joined by the Blue Bros.---Tim and Kjohnny and Daniela of Cheap and his beau Piero ala Collezione for more drinking, stinking and living it up.
***
Bruce "Judy"LaBruce returns to Berlin for post production work on his zombie epic "Otto-Up With Dead People" and to direct my new big stage production "Cheap, Blacky . . .Sortof" All this and we´re only half way through the summer.

****

This just in: got two emails from old pals of mine from the 80s.

Kim "Joyride"Jones, who was one of the most fun, pretty and vivacious party girls of the post punk era, told me that her son Bela(after Bela Legosi)is turning 18, and is coming to Berlin before starting college at UC Santa Cruz in the fall. I am really an old woman. I remember when Kim was pregnant with Bela, whose father is Monty Messick, one of the most beautiful of the Melrose Avenue punk rock boys,(remember Flips anyone?) and one of its most desired, by both women and men. Kim and Donita Sparks, pre L7 fame, were the life blood of any Hollywood soiree, and made Lindsey Lohan look like a party amateur. Kim and Donita never missed an Afro Sisters show, and were always the most stylishly dressed in their casual mid 70s action wear.
Kim also use to be girlfriends with Anthony of the Red Hot Chili Peppers, who wrote about their lives together in his book Scar Tissue. I was really surprised that Anthony even mentioned Gary Allen, this R&B new wave-ish queen who use to be the on-and-off-again sugar daddy to Flea. Flea is a little more hesitant to bring up his past, which included stints as a rent boy, something that the tabloids and die hard Chili Pepper fans don´t know about, but Anthony not only mentions his hanging out with Gary in the day, but is actually kind of open about his and Flea´s mega homosexy past. Of course i only saw the galleys of his book before it was released several years ago, when i did book reviews for the LA Weekly, so i dont know what made it into the final publication. Ms. Kim Jones also wrote for the LA Weekly as part of the gossip column La Dee Da, and is still a contributor to the paper writing for Calendar on kids events. See what tidbits you learn from me.
And my other more conservative friend Rachel Diaz-Toner who lives in Semi Valley sent me a newspaper article featuring her 13 year old son, his 12 year old best friend and hot girl drummer, and his 10 year old brother on bass, who are getting mega attention as a pre-pubescent Van Halenesque group called Vendetta. The life of Vaginal Davis, will wonderinis ever cease?

TAVERN ON GREEN DOLPHIN STREET
Luscious picnik hosted by Stefanie of the Arsenal and her sweet gal pal Nicole, an academic who teaches in the queen mumland of England. Miss Stefanie owns a giant section of Canal land between the St. Elsewhere Hospital and the Communist Pizzeria, so we ate, drank and laughed the afternoon and evening away on our own private bank. I had a lovely time chatting with the gorgeous Lady Miss Chai from Mumbai, who runs an experimental film festival in that city whose colonial name is Bombay.
****
Why are european nobels always chasing after me. I got a call from Graf Carl-Eduard Von Bismarck who wants to date me, and also from Princess Caroline of Monaco's young son Pierre Casiraghi, but i am not interested in any of them. I'd prefer to do Alex Dellal who is the son of a wealthy shipping magnate.

ATLAS DER GLOBALISIERUNG
One of the peculiarities of living in Berlin is that since World War 2, the city has been in perpetual construction mode. That is why they are always unearthing old bombs that have never exploded, a timeless gift from the allied armies.
Just thought i´d let you know about a wee yet thrilling
hazard i never had to worry about in tired Los Angeles.

***

Decided to run around nude in the famous Tiergarten. It was hot and humid and that was the only way i could cool down. Turned a few tricks, and as i was about to leave i ran into the Blue Bros. Tim and Kjohnny who were riding through the park on their way home from din din. Decided to join them for a drink at the rent boy establishment Bascos. We plopped down al fresco to observe the fleshmarket. Lots of Lulus on parade showing quite the bounty of youthful genitalic splendour. Had a great time drinking with the bros and making fun of the prissy Nollendorky queens. We came back to my studio to drink yet some more, and make plans for Porno Adorno, the opera and our new film project Lingus.