SOTADIC ZONE
So glad to be back home in the fatherland. The weather is gorgeous. Daniela of kollective Cheap moved to the hottest area in the city---Neukölln, and i am sharing his lovely flat on Flughaven Straße. From the balcony we can cruise the humpiest Turkish and Arab bubble butt boys. We like fishing from our high vantage point. Will be in Berlin for a week rehearsing our new piece, "Nobody Is Gonna Stop Me On My Path To Glory". Then its off to Graz, Austria where our performance will unfold like a gospel pitch tent revival, as we preach the highways and bi-ways of the little towns and villages outside of Graz. For this piece, we are engaging the local communities by working with the hot hunky regional firemen. Hope i get some robust puddy pie.
Invited to a fantastic dinner by the gracious first couple of avant garde art, Wilheim Hein and Annette Frick. Annette is a marvelous photographer, and was just awarded a grande prize for one of her latest projects. All of Europe is wrapped up in the house of Annette Frick. Attending the soiree was Tim Blue of Kollective Cheap and his bubbly visiting experimental musician pals, Peter and Patty Valsami, who just moved to LA from the Bay Area. Peter is a very uber masculine, dark and lovelz Greek active jazz prodigy, originally from Montreal. I also flirted with the gorgeous Türkische pop star Muhabbet, and actor-novelist Holger Siemann who just came out with the lush new tome, "Arbeit und Streben".

LUDIVINE SAGNIER
I think i have the perfect title for my new book. Here it is folks: "Present Penicative" Let me know what you think?
I'm on my way back to Europe via Berlin first, then Vienna and Graz, Austria for the steirische herbst performance art festival. Put my snail mail on hold till i get back, which will be in November. Two lovely little surprises in my p.o. box. first, the new CD by gorgeous siren Abby Travis, appropriately titled "Glitter Mouth" Abby has the perfect voice, and is blessed with a trillion talents. She is a goddess with bewitching beauty that enchants all who are fortunate enough to gaze upon her. This song collektion is a must for the connessieur of immaculate songcraft. The titles tell it all: "Now Was" "Grace" "Blythe" "La Petite Mort" "So Far Away" I'll be DJ-ing in Austria, and can't wait to add this CD to my playlist.
Also hot and sexy F2M MC, Katastrophe sent me two of his CD packs with the albums "Fault, Lies, and Faultlines" and "Let's Fuck, Then Talk About My Problems"
Brilliantine!!!!
Katastrophe headlined at Homo-a-go-go recently, and is lovers with prolific poet and novelist Michelle Tea. I feel fortunate that i was there at the beginning of Mr. Katastrophe's sterling career. He first performed at Platinum Oasis in 2001 in the wee hours around the hazmat jacuzi with Dead Lee, and the second year of Platypus scored royally with his rap humpy trannyboy hip-hip group, End of the World. I love it when my children break free from their mother's womb and conquer the world with their talents.
***
O so their publicists won't be on my case, i hate publicists!
saw the films, The Covenant, which is like a male version of the witchy movie "The Craft" but starring some very fine, young boy whore ingenues with hefty racks and rumps. What studio exec is keeping these studkins? Jeffrey Katzenberg?
The Outkast movie Idlywild looks great, with fantastic costumes and attitude. Andre'Benjamin is one smoking ubangi lipped jubas---yummy, yummy. I just wished the storyline wasn't so conventional, its almost like they were afraid to really take it to the next level, and thats a shame because it would have been incredible if they hadn't chickened out. But thats the mainstream. They get a B+ for effort.
I really enjoyed the hunky Thai star of the martial arts film The Protector. This boy is one sizzling piece of sticky rice. He needed to be naked throughout the entire film. I usually don't like action pictures, but this one was so much fun and cheezy, especially the Black Lizard dragon lady queen who plays the villain of the picture. And what about her #1 henchman who looks like a combination John Cho/ Russell Wong. Yowza. i swear these young masculine Asian Men are replacing Latinos as le exotique sexual object d'jour.
Was housesitting in Silverlake on Maltman at Hector & Erics compound. The two gay lovers went on an Atlantis Gay Cruise. Last place on earth i would want to go on vacation, but their entertainment was provided by the legendary classical guitarist Charo!!!
It was nice to be treated to delicious din dins with British aristocrat Dom Johnson, lovesexy singer and artist Brian Grillo, designer Cory Allegory, and lawyers to the stars, MarLou DeLuna and Hal Marinas.

BROS BEFORE HOS
A famous,big time literary agent is interested in the memoirs of little old lady me. Of course i have to write the proposal for what i want to write so he can shop it to publishers. But the ideal of it is very exciting. I've started an outline and the tone of my memoirs is going to be a little different from other books in the genre. So far I've come up with three working titles: Pearls Before Swine, Hancock Park or Naked on my Goad. Tell me what you think of those titles or if you have a suggestion for a new one. I'm hoping to be able to connect the dots with all the various people I've come in contact with over the years, the list is endless but expect to read about Larry Wachoswski, the famed Matrix director, Flea & Anthony of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Billy Idol, Angelina Jolie, Robin Given, Brad Pitt, Eddie Murphy and John-John Kennedy Jr.just to name a few

THERE BEFORE THE GRACE OF GOD GO I . . .
Sad to relay the death of Brandy Dalton of Drance fame. Poor Brandy had been on death's doorknob for many years. Brandy created the wonderful techno soundscape for my Saint Salicia Tate performance and also the music for the techno rock opera "Epiphany". Brandy also collaborated with Ron Athey and the late Robert Woods on music for many of Daddy Athey's celebrated performance pieces. I also loved the work Brandy did with the lovely and vivacious Ms. Tammie Tell Me True, an Orange County vixen with a heart and voice of spun gold. I'll always remember Ms. Tam still singing soaking wet after jumping into a pool at one performance. Brandy also did the score for many top blue movies and indie pics.
I'll always be jealous of Brandy's talent, and good natured spirit, and his ability to always attract the most yummy, fresh and sexually vibrant boys from the suburbs who were always so loyal to him. I can't remember which LA suburb Brandy was originally from, either La Mirada, Lakewood, Cerritos . . .
Robert Woods, Brandy's Drance partner died about a decade ago. Robert had a lover who also died, who was very much into cholos, and was cruising a hot vato in silverlake one night. The gangbanger called him out as a fucking fag and spit a big lugi on the ground next to him. Well Robert's lover got on his hands and knees and licked that lugi up from the ground, slurping it with relish. Well that won over the smoking kabron, and he got to suck the rust off that juicy thug's willis.
***
Gideon Ponte, a gorgeous English boy that i use to hang with here in LA in the mid-late 80s is now a top production designer for movies like Nacho Libre and The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys. When i knew him he was a fruit fly, a straight boy who hangs with fags. I sure had a major crush on him in the day.

ESSAYS DE LA MUJER
Scorkel one for Quincenera directors, Granny Richard Glatzer and his slimy limey lover Washerwoman Westmoreland. Of course you can't go wrong with Echo Parkland as the backdrop of their film, and superlative performances by veterano Chalo Gonzales as the Great Uncle, juicycled fat tittied Jesse Garcia as one of the humpiest cholos i've ever wanted to chug-a-lug, and the luminous Emily Rios. Just put the camera in front of these three, and you'll have an instant hot flick.
Maybe one day someone will do a movie about the age old Silverlake/Echo Park phenomena of older white men with latino lovers who support their boyfriends entire extended clan for decades. I'm not giving you excrement here. These relationships exist and they usually start when the younger lover is in his teens. I know of one couple where the white man is now in his 70s and his beau is mid 40's, married with kids and they all live together in the same house. Does he and the mamacita trade off for conjugal Morman visitations, eh?

I DON'T WANT M-TV
Before i left for Homo A-Go-Go in Olympia my intern forwarded me this request from some new Gay cable TV network called Logo that is connected to M-TV. I don't own a TV, an i-pod,a DVD /MVP player, a walkman, a cellphone,a palm pilot, a green or blackberry. I hate all those crappy gadgets and whatnots that you see people glued to, and i'm certainly not interested in being a part of television and getting exposure from television. Can i make that any more clear people.

Forwarded Message:
Subj: Vaginal davis to host and episode of logo's music show: New Now Next
Date: 7/25/06 11:08:19 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: sasha.anthome
To: gleebrevard
Sent from the Internet (Details) Hey-I am writing you because I, along with a small crew, am coming to Homoagogo to shoot some segments for Logo's music show NewNow Next..We are interested in coming there specifically to film portions for the show
that include interviews with some of the artists performing as well as interviews with willing attendees. AND...we would love to interview Vaginal Davis, as she has been an icon in the punk rock scene. Below you will find a short description of the show. This event is very exciting to us as it captures the essence of the
show and we believe we can offer her some great national exposure
as well as the opportunity to reach a broad queer audience.
Each episode is framed by a specific artist's interview... so in
essence she would have an entire episode of the show devoted to her
interview. We'd really love to interview Vaginal Davis while we are up
there. If she is interested in being a part of the show, please
contact myself or Courtney Powell.

Thanks,
Sasha Anthome, Producer
Courtney Powell, Producer

OF THEE I DWINK
I always burn a bridge when it comes to being courted by wealthy men who can take me out of the poverty palace. A few years ago while I was in England I had a daliance with Ivor Wimborne, the Viscount of St. Ledgers. This wasn’t my first fling with a Viscount. I diddled back in the early 80s with Sir William Waldron, who owned the Melrose Avenue vintage clothing store Just William. William Waldron was one of the few British aristocrats who still had great wealth. He even owned the Lloyd Wright house in Los Feliz, and when he was bored with it sold it to David Lynch and his then wife Isabella Rossellini. William wound up marrying some black girl who took him for a bundle. Of course I warned him that she was a golddigger, but he didn’t listen and resented me for it. He is now living alone and a little loco in the mountains of Northern California with hideously overgrown finger and toe nails. See what lots of money does to people, its more of a hinderance then a help.
Now get this---Sir Wimborne, the man I let slip through my fingerettes more recently is engaged to the legendary dope addict, and party negress supreme, Grace Jones. Well if anyone deserves to be a Viscountess its Miss Grace.
***
Director Andre’ Te’chine’ emailed me a little upset that I hadn’t reviewed his new film, Le Temps qui Changent on my blog. I saw the movie in Europe, and wasn’t aware that it is now being screened in America. This movie stars powerhouses Catherine Deneuve and Gerard Dipardieu who are tantalizing. Its so nice watching mature talents gobble the screen. Set in exotic Tangiers, the film also features the remarkable Arab actress Lubna Azabal from the Palastinian film Paradise Now. If you don’t see this movie, I will kill you.

PACIFIC NORTHWESTICA MAJESTICA
Showcased a mini presentation of my underground film ouvre---"One Man Ladies"with a Glennda Orgasm nee Belverio "That Fertile Feeling","The Three Faces of Women" trilogy section "Dr Chris Teen" with Chris "Teen"Martin and Bruce LaBruce, wowing the youthful crowd, many who've only read of my exploits via their academic studies. Hosted the rock portion of Homo-A-Go-Go ala Club Sucker days of wine and gnosis. Nicely attended events, and a diverse popu of kiddies make Homo-A-Go-Go a utopian paradisio in the lovely town of Olympia Washington. Held at the gorgeou Capital Theatre, and well organized by an all-volunteer canibi staff of juicebods and thrombones----delicious each and every one of them.
John Cameron Manheim Steamroller Patrik Swayze Mitchell of Hedvig and the Angry Inch fame, previewed his new Canne Film Festival hit, "Shortbus" which is a lovely exploration of the polymorphously perverse denizens of a hallowed sexxx salon hosted by the geniustrata Justin Bond, who makes for a swelleganza screen presencia. Very attractive cast abounding in the glow of coitek carnel knowledging. Standouts being a nicely peniled young man with longish hair and milky white thrush body, his real life beau, who looks like a young version of Homocore Chicago's Mark "Ears" Freitas and a hard faced Soon Yi Previn look-a-like. A great score included a song by Canada's Hidden Cammeras.
Rode from the aeroport to my comfy Phoenix Inn digs with Mr. Mitchell, who was a pleasant and congenial companion. We're both of the same generation, and Madame Mitchell also DJ'd between band sets, and was an overall charming sprite. One of these days I'd love to take him up on the offer of a visit to his Puerto Rican retreat that he had built from scratch on the island of large uncut endowmentas.
Friday performance highlights included the Czarina of burlesque and intermedia choreography, NYC's Julie Atlas Muz, who never fails to cause gasps of delight, the expert musicianship of Englands King Cheetah, the boyganza of Mikeala's Fiend, chrystaline intity Assacre, the first lady of hip-hip Jenro, the bullet nipples and flat scratch stomachs of The Dead Betties, and the saviours of rock n roll, The Gossip featuring the divine and sexyline Beth of Hollers End. The Gossip should have the acclaim that is bestowed upon the overrated White Stripes. As a band The Gossip are explosive channelers of the best blues traditions, lurking from the muddy swamp waters. The Lady Miss Beth's voice is enchanting, with a berry tone that pays tribute to legendinas Ma Rainey and Bessie Smith, and a stage presence that brings to mind the young Alice Bag. Now I'm believing in rock n roll again.
The last night of the festival featured standout performances by poet Michelle Tea who gave me a copy of her new book, Rose of No Man's Land, which i can't wait to read, sweet country songstress Jessica Rose, Montreal's dazzling Lesbians on X who cleverly take the music of womyn's muzek pioneers Holly Near, Chris Williamson and Trent Furor and give it a modern electro flourish, Will Schwartz of Imperial Teen fame and his new dance music project Hey Willpower that caused a major sensation. Will is looking very teen spirit with his new lusty, muscular, bubblebutt power bitch body, humpy blatino rap star Dead Lee forced fed me his giant willis from the stage, and i eagerly serviced him. who could resist all that fine speciman of a man? Legend Bob Mould also performed and DJ-d the closing party which ended early due to so many after soirees, the biggest one being the train tracks Rim Party that siphon off much of the crowd. In fact my morning ride to the airport flaked on me, i guess after a night of non-stop analingus, one can't be expected to chauffer loud unruly diva queens. After waiting for 30 minutes i just called a taxi and had a surreal moment with the driver and his buddy, two of the fugliest middle aged men i've ever seen in my life. They were spiraling tweekers who talked non-stop, but couldn't drive very fast, and i almost missed my flight because of them. Oh welpsis. I still had a glorious time hanging out with so many wonderous people including major talent and hotticle Donna Dresch of Team Dresch who i love dearly, and i want to give thanks, love and kissy kisses to Miss Tara of Sex Workers, Ed and all the wonderful children of Homo A-Go-Go Directive, who attended to all my lady needs and desires.

SYNARCHIST ENEMIAS
I hate when publicists bug me about when I'm going to write about their movies. I see a lot of movies, so sometimes it takes me a while---OK? Well to be honest I had forgotten about Shadowboxer, starring Tom Cruises #2 dinge dream,Cuba Gooding Jr. and the amazing Helen Mirren who I’ve loved since she was in Roman Polanski’s brilliant screen version of MacBeth. This nutters film seems to be influenced by David Cronenberg’s A History of Violence. Its not as good as that movie, but its not a bad film either. I loved the May/Octoberfest sex scenes between Mirren and fat tittied, bubble butt Gooding Jr and the Feb/August fornicating of Gordon-Leavitt and comedienne Mo’nique, plus that full condom frontal of Stephen Dorff.
The Francoise Ozon film Time to Leave features the stunning Melvil Poupoud (who was so underused in the American film Le Divorce) and the ageless wonder that is acting royal Jeanne Moreau. The best scene is when Mr. Poupoud and his rather plithy member, mount and plow his young androgynous lover----yummy.

MENDACITY IN THE AIR
One of my oldest and dearest friends, and sister of the clothe Glenn Belverio has written a dazzling new tome, Confessions From the Velvet Ropes about New York’s top doorman Thomas Onorato, who use to do the door at Squeezebox at Don Hill’s a place that I performed at with frequency during the 90s. The book is rising on the New York Times best seller list, and is a wonderful summertime read. Glenn Belverio is a geniustrata writer and wit, and all his charms are reflected in this sensational book. All the tired club owners of Los Angeles need to heed what is written in Confessions. Especially these spurious types like Sam Nazarian with his partner Brett Bolthouse, that think just because they have oodles of money that makes them arbiters of taste and style. Well it doesn’t. If I read another article about this Nazarian character where it says he’s 31 years old, I’m good to vomit. The man doesn’t look a day over 50. And with the criteria of these tacky new clubs that cater to this bottle service crap of people paying gabs of money for expensive alcohol---the ultimate of tired. I guess one has to thank the ostentatiousness of the rap and hip hop scene for ushering that into play. True hip clubs as Belverio makes clear, and any one who has been to my events knows, involves selecting patrons based on their personal style, overall originality, quirky beauty, alluring ugliness, or interesting work credentials.
So go to Amazon.com and order your copy of Glenn’s book before I finish this sentence.

CHARLOTTE RAMPLING IS ON THE LINE
Sung Yi Previn better watch out or she is going to get replaced by a much younger girl, namely Scarlette Johanssen. The Woodster as in Woody Allen is so in love with the buxom Miss Scarlette that I wouldn’t be surprised if he made the star of his new movie Scoop, his regular leading lady. Its so obvious when watching the movie that he is beyond smitten kitten. I love Mr. Allen, but he is one neurotica horndoggedy old koot if ever I saw one, and I’m really feeling for Miss Mia Farrow and her 114 Rosemarried babies.
***
The Divine Charlotte Rampling in the movie Heading South gets her lady gnut with juicy jubas jubilee Menothy Cesar. I gather the French director Laurent Cantet is a major DINGE QUEEN with all the tight bodied, bubble butted and big dicked Mandingos he fills the screen with----delicious.
***
When it comes to one of the best racks in Hollywood, I’m torn between Fantastic Four male ingenue Chris Evans and Jesse Metcalfe who gets to strut his bountiful busoms in John Tucker Must Die. I’m begging you Jesse to please do something with those overly plucked eyebrows. They are such a distraction from your chesty morgan spurlock.
***
My lady guity pleasure: Clerks II. Thank god I get invited to free screenings and I don’t have to pay for movies, but this item from that rolly polly portly pepperpot Kevin Smith is hilarious. Especially the porch monkey bit. Poor pretty Rosario Dawson who has to kiss the hideous lead actor, and I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Mr. Smith wasn’t sucking on the sweet fat titties and munching out the hairless bunghole of super lovesexy Jason Mewes who plays Jay to his Silent Bob. Just a thought.
***
The Lady in the Water should have stayed there, or gotten advice from The Lady in the Lake. See what happens when one gets a piddling of success in Hollywoodland. They lose their natural borne mind.
***
One of my dear friends Meesh is working on the Tyra Banks America’s Top Model Show and she is on strike. Here is some info so you can support their union efforts:

Hi Guys,
For those of you who don't know, the entire writing staff at America's Next Top Model is on strike (myself included). It is the usual Norma Rae scenario....we want health insurance and other protections offered by being part of the writers guild. It's been a crazy whirlwind the last couple of weeks, and I can fill you in more later if you are interested. We started picketing on Friday, and will continut starting tomorrow. If anyone is interested in coming to hang out and add bodies to our demonstration, let me know and I will give you details. If you can't come, but will be on the west side, at least drive by and give us a honk. We are on the corner of Sepulveda and Santa Monica. Wish us luck!
Below are some info links, if you are interested.
http://wga.org/subpage_newsevents.aspx?id=1993
This is where the WGA is posting clips on the main website

http://www.realityunited.org/
This is the recently launched website for the reality organizing
campaign - we are tracking clips there as well.

CHARLOTTE RAMPLING IS ON THE LINE
Sung Yi Previn better watch out or she is going to get replaced by a much younger girl, namely Scarlette Johanssen. The Woodster as in Woody Allen is so in love with the buxom Miss Scarlette that I wouldn’t be surprised if he made the star of his new movie Scoop, his regular leading lady. Its so obvious when watching the movie that he is beyond smitten kitten. I love Mr. Allen, but he is one neurotica horndoggedy old koot if ever I saw one, and I’m really feeling for Miss Mia Farrow and her 114 Rosemarried babies.
***
The Divine Charlotte Rampling in the movie Heading South gets her lady gnut with juicy jubas jubilee Menothy Cesar. I gather the French director Laurent Cantet is a major DINGE QUEEN with all the tight bodied, bubble butted and big dicked Mandingos he fills the screen with----delicious.
***
When it comes to one of the best racks in Hollywood, I’m torn between Fantastic Four male ingenue Chris Evans and Jesse Metcalfe who gets to strut his bountiful busoms in John Tucker Must Die. I’m begging you Jesse to please do something with those overly plucked eyebrows. They are such a distraction from your chesty morganspurlock.
***
My lady guity pleasure: Clerks II. Thank god I get invited to free screenings and I don’t have to pay for movies, but this item from that rolly polly portly pepperpot Kevin Smith is hilariouk. (new word) Especially the porch monkey bit, and the two ugly leads, and poor pretty Rosario Dawson who has to kiss one of them. For gods sakes.
I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if Mr. Smith wasn’t sucking on the sweet fat titties, and munching out the hairless bunghole of super lovesexy Jason Mewes who plays Jay to his Silent Bob. Just a thought.
***
The Lady in the Water should have stayed there, or gotten advice from The Lady in the Lake. See what happens when one gets a piddling of success in Hollywoodland. They lose their natural borne mind.
***
One of my dear friends Meesh is working on the Tyra Banks America’s Top Model Show and she is on strike. Here is some info so you can support their union efforts:

Hi Guys,
For those of you who don't know, the entire writing staff at America's Next Top Model is on strike (myself included). It is the usual Norma Rae scenario....we want health insurance and other protections offered by being part of the writers guild. It's been a crazy whirlwind the last couple of weeks, and I can fill you in more later if you are interested. We started picketing on Friday, and will continut starting tomorrow. If anyone is interested in coming to hang out and add bodies to our demonstration, let me know and I will give you details. If you can't come, but will be on the west side, at least drive by and give us a honk. We are on the corner of Sepulveda and Santa Monica. Wish us luck!
Below are some info links, if you are interested.
http://wga.org/subpage_newsevents.aspx?id=1993
This is where the WGA is posting clips on the main website

http://www.realityunited.org/
This is the recently launched website for the reality organizing
campaign - we are tracking clips there as well.

LE TEMPS QUE RESTE
One of the great things about having gone to a fancy Swiss finishing school (Le Rosey)on scholarship as a child is my connection to European aristocrats and royals. Its come in handy over the years for both me, and some of my friends who found themselves in boiling hot water abroad because of some drug related offense or whathaveyou. Luckily i was able to make one phone call and relieve the situation. Being that i was born into staunch poverty, its amazing that i can weild an arsenol when need be.
Now that I'm more or lessed based in Europe, i can't wait to party with Crown Prince Philip of Sweden aka Duke of Varmland. He is a major Ms. Gorgeous piece of Scandanavian butt cloister, and he adores me and is very flirtatious with that cruel club of his. When I'm in Graz, Austria i hope to spend time with that sultry thrombone Amedeo of Austria whose father Archduke Lorenz of Austria-Este use to be hot when he was young(thats when i first met him), but is now a bit on the trollish side.
I'd better be careful not to let lovesexy Gonzalo Miro catch me with Edwardo Cruz, the juicy pop star brother of Penelope Cruz. The two men hate each other because of an incident between me and Eugenia the Duchess of Montoro, whose mother is the Duchess of Alba who i use to hang with until she got into a knockout lesbiana sluggo with Paula Marzotto of the famed Italian fashion dynasty, and Paula's daughter Princess Beatrice Orromeo is now fooling around with studkin bullfighter Francisco Rivera who has a pretty little daughter named Cayetona whose mother is Eugenia----its all so complicated and confusing that i have trouble keeping track of it all, so i don't expect you to be able to. And did i mention that my good pal Lady Didi(Diana) Judd whose father is Visconte something or other is related to Prince Harry's girlfriend Chelsy Davy----let me end all this here and now.
I'm not known as a modern day Elsa Maxwell for nothing kids.

RAMPART REPORT
My other Rice cousin Connie Rice, just published the controversial Rampart Report about the LA Police Department's relationship with the minority community, and in it she makes the same prediction that I've constantly warned---Namely that something big is about to burst that will make the LA Riots of '65 and '92 look like an English country garden party. Yes, when civil war in the USA happens, like every other trend, it will begin in Los Angeles. Beware and take heed.
***
On a sad note another pal of mine died recently. Tracy Thielan of Action Box Records and the quirky band Tracy and the Hindenburg Ground Crew. Tracy was 43 and overdosed. His band use to perform regularly at my old Club Sucker in Silverlake, Tracy's famous friends Viggo Mortensen and Quentin Tarantino would always come to support him. Tracy was a loveable burly queen with an eye for a young boy with a pretty face and plump package. He even got to suck off Viggo once.
***
Was at a mainstream bookstore the other day and started reading Scar Tissue, by Anthony Kiedes of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers. I'm the same age as Anthony and Flea, and we ran in the same circles so a lot of their memories of the 80s and 90's are also my memories. Fertile La Toyah Jackson even went to Fairyfax High School with them along with Timothy Hutten, Michele Green of LA Law fame and Bryon Allen (nee Foulks) I was surprised that while Anthony mentions Gary Allen in the book, he doesn't go into any of he and Flea's homo escapades, which were as numerous as their hetero adventures. Gary Allen for those of you who don't remember or weren't born yet, was this big, black faggot singer who was vaguely R&B new wave---very pleated pants/shoulder pads, and more or less was the sugar daddy and pimp of Flea who did a little bit of hustling in his youth. Flea has a notoriously large schlong that many a mansis coveted. Gary was featured in the same special issue of Interview Magazine that highlighted me and my Afro Sisters in the mid 1980s. The issue with Cindy Lauper on the cover, and the last one actually supervised by Andy Warhol himself.
***
i was recently clocked for my love affair with musician John Dragonetti of the band The Submarines. Why does everyone get into my sex business? If you all must know the details, let me set the record straight. Our thingy was more a slight fling, and now John is happy to be back with his true lady love Blake Hazard who incidentally is the great grandaughter of F. Scott Fitzgerald.
***
Yes, yes and more yes. I still occasionally hook up with the basketball player Vladimir Radmanovic. I call him my tall baby vampire. He looks a lot younger then his 25 years. Go ahead say it, I'm robbing the cradle AGAIN. The poor kid looked disapointed when i didn't get excited about his new contract with The Lakers, but what do i care about Sports.

HIGH BARBARY

One of my favorite golden era Hollywood stars died, June Allyson. She had one of the brightest, warmest smiles in tinseltown and a sexy husky voice. She wasn’t the best singer or dancer, but made up for it with that MGM charm. I loved her in the 1947 musical Good News opposite Peter Lawford, and Best Foot Forward(1943) with Lucille Ball, Nancy Walker and Gloria deHaven who she also starred with in Two Girls and a Sailor (1944) that featured sloppy holed faggots Van Johnson and Tom Drake. She was also known for being the remake queen of the mid 50s starring in remakes of It Happened One Night and The Women. One of her best dramatic films was a little known flicker called The Shrike (1955) co-starring Jose Ferrer, which I remember seeing on TV late at night in the mid 1970s. Ms. Allyson went against type and portrayed a harpy’s harpy. She was marvelous.

3D SUP BIN
One of my pals who has great taste in films and music, sent me these reviews of the new Richard Glatzer/Wash West film. I haven't seen the movie yet, but the premise of cultural tourism doesn't exactly exite me.

From Village Voice:
Wan and cutesy, Richard Glatzer and Wash Westmoreland's QUINCEAÑERA is most
notable for making explicit the slumming subtext of many an earnest Sundance
crowd-pleaser. Shot near the directors' own Echo Park residence and focused
largely on the neighborhood's Latino community (in particular a newly out,
tough gay boy and his possibly immaculately pregnant cousin), it's less
about culture-clash affirmation than gentrifiers' guilt. DENNIS LIM
From Film Comment:
Headline: And the Winner Isn't...
Sundance awards mediocrity while the standouts go home empty-handed
By Amy Taubin

Indifferently scripted, directed, acted, shot, and edited, Quinceanera is
less a film than a calling card for a Showtime series. A well-meaning,
cartoonish, though not satirical, comedy about gentrification, sexuality,
and multicultural relationships in the Los Angeles neighborhood of Echo
Park, Quinceanera pays lip service to political issues while sidestepping
any problem that could interfere with its feel-good ambiance. Thus
everyone's favorite uncle dies conveniently in his sleep so that we are
spared the sight of him being evicted by the upwardly mobile gay couple
who've bought the house and who've also recruited his hunky nephew for
threesomes. Similarly, a pregnant 16-year-old is reconciled with her dad
after it is medically proven that she's still a virgin. Heaven forbid the
A-word should be mentioned.

A SCANNER PORTLY PEPPERPOT
My gorgeous pal, the writer and global editrix Glenn Belverio pays homage to Hindi heartthrob Hrithik Roshan on A Shaded View on Fashion:
http://dianepernet.typepad.com/diane/2006/06/while_the_rest_.html
Mr. Roshan has become the Bollywood Superman, and speaking of Super Sperm-man I guess I should mention something about the films that I’ve seen in the last few months. I’m not really a film reviewer, sure I’m sent invites to private screenings and also videotape screeners. I do have a reputation as a tastemaker, and some people take all that so seriously, which of course I don’t. But since I enjoy getting all the delicious Star Jonesian swag, I’d better return the favour and write something.
First of all Superman Returns, directed by my former f*ck buddycan Miss Bryan Singer, one sloppy bottom who always forgets to douche. All that money$ involved and the flick is dullardsville. Loved Sings "Apt Pupil"
and The Usual Suspects. I also enjoyed his Mutant flickers as pure mindless entertainment, but this installation of Superman is only exciting when Marlon Brando’s image and voice is heard, and when your best performance is from someone who is dead, your movie is in trouble. Young beauty Brandon Routh has potential and otherworldly green screen matinee idol looks. They shouldn’t have photoshopped his bulge away, it would have given the proceedings some spark.
The Devil Wears Prada is bright and breezy. After seeing this film and Prairie Home Companion I now adore Meryl Streep. I use to hate her, and Miss Hathaway should star as a young Judy Garland in a film biopic. Considering this is a movie about fashion, Pat Fields clothes are all wrong-----way too cabaret-ish.
The brilliant British girl who plays the second assistant was the only character dressed appropriately.
And my horndoggedy pal Larry Clark scores high with Wassup Rockers. The main latin boyganza Jonathan Vasquez is mighty fine, ---a nice package in those stovepipe jeans, with a sizzlean musical score of south central punk bands.
I hate comedians and though I find him somewhat of an asphalt cutie, Adam Sandler is a deeply disturbed humanoid. His starring vehicle Click attests to that. It tries to be all sentimental at the end, but that is only masking some excrement that is beyond ill, something tells me that Mr. Sandler, like most comics is on the verge of committing suicide. Someone needs to intervene.
I love chunky Jack Black and really enjoyed Nacho Libre, which obviously he stole the idea from seeing one of Michele Carr of the Velvet Hammer’s Lucha VaVoom spectacles. Now Jack Black is what Adam Sandler wishes he was, but he’ll never be.
And did I mention how much I enjoyed the sexy Korean thriller Typhoon? The lead actors are two of the yummiest Asian men. How I’d like to munch on there fresh dugouts. That brings me to Lower City from Brazil’s Sergio Machada (Madame Sata) and the beautiful bodies of Alice Braga(Sonja’s niece) smoldering jubas Lazaro Ramos and lovesexy bubble butt Wagner Moura. And I cried when Antony sang in the Leonard Cohen docu-musical I’m Your Man.
At the airport I ran into an old dinge queen trick from the early 80s. The only reason I recognized him was that he still dresses the same. The man is British, wears big red framed Sally Jessy Raphael eye glasses and matching red canvas shoes. When I met him he was in his early 30s, skinny with male pattern baldness. He looked a little bit like Keith Haring crossed with a goofy Colin Firth. I wasn’t attracted to him, but he pursued me heavily which is always a turnon for me. He was actually cheating on his boyfriend with me. His lover was the TV actor Ernest Thomas who played Raj on the ABC black sitcom What’s Happening. He was always ragging on his lover, who he supported financially, and also his lover’s mother, who lived in South Central LA. I laughed out loud when I found out that Ernest Thomas was such a snippy snow and status queen that he refused to go south of Wilshire or east of LaBrea. At the terminal my former trick was giving me the hairy eyeball, but didn’t recognize me---thank god. He actually looks almost the same, just 25 years older.
On a sad note, John-John, aka Bush Bunny committed suicide by hanging himself in Griffith Park near one of John Rechy’s baby oiled leaves. Bush Bunny was named as such for the many times he was arrested for public sex in the parks of LA and Ventura County and was a mainstay of Ventura’s Wilde Planet crowd----Dora, Boofy St. Marie, Helen Bed of Retail Slut, Mrs. Jeff Burroughs and Mark Maxwell. Bush Bunny was also apart of the Amoeba Records and Filmworks collective that also included Keith Holland and Quasi O’Shea. My favorite memory of Bush was when he fell out of a tree in West Hollywood’s Blow Job Park performing fellatio on someone. He was always a happy-go-lucky hornpig, but the hardknock quality that is LA and the gay world finally proved to be his undoing.

VALSEURS
For those of you who think that my blog is complete fantasy, which seems absurd in that I write things that aren’t exactly flattering to myself, remember that truth is stranger then fiction. And yes I REALLY do get emails sent to me or my assistant for TV and movie roles. Below is a copy of one:

-----Original Message-----
From: Suzanne Broderick
Sent: Fri, 2 Jun 2006 17:01:28 -0700
Subject: Vaginal Davis

Hi,

I'm the casting director for "Breaking Up With Shannen Doherty" - a new show for the Oxygen network - and I'd like to speak with you about the possibility of Vaginal Davis appearing in a segment of our show. The show will be taped in Los Angeles on June 14. Please call me at (323) 436-0124 so I can give you more information about the show. Thanks.

Best regards,
Suzanne Broderick

***
And this email came from Canadian auteur Bruce La Bruce, who is a good friend of mine. I’ve performed in two of his films and he acted in one of mine. Some people out in cyberland don’t believe that I’m a real person, and that I’m a figment of the imagination of my webmaster Larry Bob. These internet techies did their computer finagling and traced my web page to Larry Bob’s web page. Well the reason why they are connected is that my webpage piggy backs on his. So that alone brings them to the brilliant deduction that I don’t exist.

Oh welpsis, here is Bruce’s emug:

DEAR DOCTOR DAVIS: Well you know will munro and lyn mcneil now run this cute
club the Beaver, and it would be absolutely perfect for bricktops, Ontario. But please consult with me as well so that I can try to be in town for at least part of your runs. What's new, pussy?
I struggle with life and death in this foul, fallow world.
Hey, I was thinking, what ever happened to lisa suckdog? And also, what was the name of those two hillbillies(Psychodrama) who used to pull shit out of their asses and work glory holes on stage and then chase people out of the club with handfuls of shit and down the street? They kept one of their members in a pig pen, if I recall, in the Ozarks. That was back when the world was simpler. I'm going
mondo new york from july 6 to 12. Gonna visit glenn belverio and lend immoral support for his book events. Also he and I are guess djing at Miss Shapes. Also they
are displaying J.D.s at the Visionaire gallery in a show. You should have
FLTJ there.
rick castro’s hollywood gallery Antebellum should be called Auntie Bellum?

I also have a photograph in a show at PS 1. Big whoop. One stinkin' photograph. I
loathe art. I just wrote a manifesto for the manifesto issue of C Magazine.
I'll include it below.

I'm writing the intro for the Butt book. How cum you
haven't been in Butt? Do you want me to pitch you? I think they're kind of
dragophobic. But you could do it as Buster Boote. Did you hear about Kevin
AuAviance getting hate crimed in the east village? My favourite part was
that they said he wasn't in drag, but that he was wearing something like a
feather boa and tight vinyl Daisy Dukes. If it walks like a duck in drag...
I'm so evil. But you already know that. Did you ever read the faux obituary
I wrote about Kevin AuCoin? I think I only showed it to slava. I don't know
what made me do it. It was so mean. But it's black humour, you know. I mean,
I only met him once, and he was a bit rude to me, but that's not why I did
it. I just corrupted his real obit in the ny times. His last book was called
Face Forward, and I said that it was being changed posthumously to Face
Down. Sometimes I just have a little tourette's devil in me. It's very
Sibyl. Oh well. I'll probably be dead soon too, and then people can write
nasty obits about me. Mr. LaBruce never married. Did you see my article
about the Che lawsuit in BlackBook? I reprinted it and the unedited version
on my Myspace blog (www.myspace.com/brucelabruce). Why aren't you in
myspace. All the kids are doing it. Ok delovely, I gotta dego. Keep Movin'.
Xxx blab P.s. We've got to do Ulrike's Brain on stage in Berlin and you
have to play Angela Davis in it. I've been doing research, like watching the
Brain That Wouldn't Die and They Saved Hitler's Brain and listening to They
Saved Hitler's Cock and re-watching Guerilla: The Taking of Patty Hearst and
State of Seige, which is so great and prescient. Susanne will play the head
of Ulrike Meinhoff, but Hitler's head will also make an appearance. I was
thinking of asking Daniel to help me write a libretto and make it into an
opera. Or an operetta. Or a rock opera. It would be so much funny.

***
The Purple Resistance Army (a.k.a., the PRA), and it¹s auxiliary wing,
the Purple Menace Society (PMS: women¹s division) is a united and federated
grouping of members of different races and genders and socialistic political
parties of the oppressed people of The United States of Canada and America,
who have, under homosexual and minority leadership, formed and joined The
Purple Federated Republic (PFR) and have agreed to struggle together on
behalf of all their people and races and sexes and political parties'
interests in the gaining of Freedom and Self Determination and Independence
for all faggots and others. The PRA declares revolutionary war against the
Fascist Capitalist and Largely Heterosexual Class and all its agents of
murder, oppression and exploitation. We support by force of Limp Wrists the
just struggles of all oppressed fairies for self-determination and
independence and hereby offer to all sexual liberation movements,
revolutionary workers¹ groups, and people¹s organizations our Total Aid(s)
and support for the struggle for freedom and justice for all people and
races and genders!
On behalf of all its constituents and affiliates and various sissy
sycophants, the PRA hereby identifies and extrapolates upon the following
pop cultural positions that should be followed in order to activate and
actuate the aforementioned principles in an opportunistic and propitious
fashion. Attention must be paid to the following edicts in order to gain
membership to the Purple Resistance Army. Failure to adhere to the general
principles delineated herewith may result in humiliation, teasing, taunting,
in-house gay bashing, cuckolding, cold-shouldering, and a general reading to
filth of the individual in question.

1) Never Trust Anyone Under 30. A reversal (see: Counterintuitivity) of the
old proverb from a previous generation that exhorts fellow comrades never to
trust anyone over the age of 30, this neo-axiom of the PRA is designed both
as an historical broadside against the age-ism that has become endemic to
society since the advent of the industrial revolution, and as a reminder
that, under the new world order, tender youth, a formerly fairly reliable
bellwether of rebellion, anti-authoritarianism, and non-conformist
behaviour, has long since lost its counter-cultural compass and can no
longer be trusted or relied upon to instigate or disseminate revolutionary
ideals a priori. Although it may be misinterpreted as an encouraging sign
that voter turnout in the eighteen to twenty-five year age demographic has
dwindled in the past several decades in western democracies, it is by no
means a dependable indication that the youth of today is anything less than
a vast, empty cadre of reactionary, close-minded clones who will swallow any
sort of predigested pablum that is placed in front of them, including, but
not restricted to, badly realized computer-generated images (see also: The
Aesthetic Dementia), political doublespeak, marriage (including, sadly, the
gay kind), commercial pandering, substandard reality television, corporate
hip hop, pre-fabricated celebrities, hyper-violent video games, respect of
property and copyright, and other untold forms of popular prestidigitation.
The current Œyouth revolt¹ in France, wherein young people are fighting for
the right to gain permanent job security (whilst in their twenties! See
also: Revolutionary Reactionaries) is a far cry from the events of May ¹68
in which a popular uprising of French people from diverse ethnic, cultural,
class, and age groups, including communist and anarchist factions, roused to
action by a continuing trend of western imperialist adventurism in Southeast
Asia, sought to challenge the very control of the ruling classes by
espousing ultra left wing causes, including educational and social reform
and the advocacy of sexual freedom and free love.
2) Get To Know Your Asshole. The Purple Resistance Army entreats all males,
but particularly the self-proclaimed ³heterosexuals² (also known as
³breeders², although this term may now apply occasionally to ³homosexuals² ­
See once again: Revolutionary Reactionaries) to get in touch with their
assholes, by any means necessary. Marcuse might have had something like this
in mind when he talked about the surplus repression imposed on its people by
an ³affluent society.² In an industrialized society which has reached a
point of abundance that is characterized by the production of ³unproductive
goods² ­ tech gadgets, excess waste, planned obsolescence, luxury items,
excessive military build-up, etc. ­ a certain repression over and above the
one necessary to advance culture is forced on its citizens in order to exert
a particular notion of ³normalcy² that is more aligned with conformist
social and institutional attitudes rather than ideas of individual
fulfillment. The redundant, unnecessary work upon which advanced capitalism
is predicated, characterized by a deadening or stupefying effect ­ a kind of
zombie state when performed by the working or middle class subject, or, in
the case of the white collar workers, by a moral indifference and callous
aggressiveness ­ results in a distraction from their own personal and sexual
needs. A person who functions normally in such a sick society is himself
sick, while it is only the ³nonadjusted² individual who can achieve a
healthy acting out against the overly strict restraints and demands of the
dominant culture. It is such a society that prevents constitutionally
bisexual men from exploring their homosexuality, and in particular, from
getting to know their assholes. Many men can spend their entire lives not
experiencing the pleasure of the anus, when it has been well documented that
it is the very location of the male G-spot and thereby invaluable for
healthy orgasmic release. Neglect of this region leads to poor prostate
health, general irritability, spiritual malaise, or worse. A carefully
placed finger or fingers up the ass of any one of a number of members of the
Bush or Harper administrations would greatly reduce expenditures on the
military and Star Wars technology, curtail the doctrine of preemptive
aggression against oil-rich, Middle East nations (most of whose leaders are
already well acquainted with their own assholes and those of their Gulf
Coast neighbours), and a whole host of other bellicose, morally
insupportable policies based on surplus repression and anal indifference.
Members of the PRA are encouraged to help any adult male over the age of
consent to explore and befriend his own asshole so that others do not have
to suffer as a consequence. Anal Liberation Now!
3) Discourse Sucks! Although it may fly in the face of conventional wisdom
concerning the predisposition of homosexuals to the appreciation of art and
artistic practice (See: Counterintuitivity), the Purple Resistance Army does
not in general support or condone artists or, in particular, art discourse,
although bullshit artists and their discourses are provisionally accepted.
The art world has become a purely reactive and reactionary institution whose
trends and tendencies are determined and circumscribed by the broader
conservative cultural forces and socio-economic policies of an exploitative
capitalist ruling class, having long since foregone its function as a
vanguard or avant-garde, or as serving a therapeutic, cathartic, or even
critical function, let alone a political or revolutionary one. Devised by a
laissez-faire haute bourgeoisie, art discourse, an Emperor dressed in what
he believes are the most au current designer clothes, gets lost in the
elaborate, solipsistic layers of his own nakedness, lording his
self-importance over an unwitting and uncomprehending public whose idea of
art is the fruit in a slot machine. Modern trends in art include escapist
folk fantasies involving psilocybin unicorns and golden-tressed maidens with
dirty feet locked in pornographic carnal embrace, a new twist on a purely
decorative seventies throwback that reinvigorates questionable commodity
fetishism. More conceptual, ³dialogic² art, including the use of readymades
or relational art practice, while less commoditizable than traditional art
objects, is nonetheless reified and marketed by the same hierarchical
economic institutions and international exhibition superstructures that
confine it to the amusement of an insider elite. As an alternative to the
art orthodoxy, the PRA promotes finger painting, free range graffiti,
tattooing (although not on pigs), home movies, ad hoc shrines ­ or, for
conceptualists, practical jokes, pranks, hoaxes, and public nudity not
organized and sanctioned by institutionalized art stars.
4) Counterintuitivity. The Purple Resistance Army, a militant band of
insurgent sissies, must not succumb to the current cycle of cynicism and
apathy that has infiltrated and destroyed the spirit of resistance,
subversion and highly civil disobedience that was once at the very core of
the homosexual psyche. In today¹s topsy-turvy, wrong is right,
revolutionarily reactionary world, the members of the PRA must learn to use
counterintuitivity to fight its enemies. The dictates of common sense are no
longer to be trusted in this poisoned environment.
5) Death to Celebrity! Celebrity culture has become the biggest boondoggle
of the modern world, and members of the PRA must do everything in their
power to destroy it. Much of the blame for the rise of celebrity culture has
been laid at the dainty feet of Andy Warhol (peace and blessings be upon
him), whose famous phrase ³In the future everyone will be famous for fifteen
minutes² has been wildly misinterpreted as an endorsement of celebrity for
all as a kind of democratic principle in a capitalist context. His real
prediction for the future was probably more along the lines of an Orwellian
(or perhaps Kafkaesque) dystopic nightmare in which each individual in
society is forced, by means of an assembly line or factory model, into a
limited window of fame/labour precisely fifteen minutes in duration, none
more significant or important than the next, each turned out like so many
car parts and discarded when it has outworn its usefulness. This is the same
model Warhol used to produce his early movies and art work: objects
assembled by a series of poorly paid workers and manufactured in his
³Factory², mass-produced and sold in a free market economy. (Although Warhol
was, himself, an artist, celebrity, and capitalist nonpareil, the Purple
Resistance Army grants him enormous leeway for his overwhelming contribution
to hypersensitive, tortured sissyhood.) Today, the worship of celebrity has
become a kind of neurotic compulsion that turns otherwise salient and
reasonable human beings into slavering, sycophantic boobs who care more
about the excruciating minutiae of the lifestyles of the filthy rich and
unjustly famous than about their own, infinitely more authentic, everyday
lives. Celebrity itself has become a disease that mangles and maims the egos
of those who suffer it, reducing them to delusional paranoiacs who should be
at the very least, not paid very much attention to, at best, deprogrammed.
Down with Overexposure! Up with Anonymity!
6) Show Business is Politics/Politics is Show Business. Awards shows receive
their own special category of condemnation from the PRA for their smug
self-congratulatoriness and crass commercialism, propping up, as they do,
the celebrity infrastructure by lording the wealth and power of the
privileged few over the increasingly impoverished, debt-ridden anonymous
masses. There are now more award shows and presentations than there are
categories to define them, each one a cleverly contrived and predetermined
spectacle designed by the various industries who manufactures it to present
the illusion of democratic process and free market competition. The Oscars
have become the Holy Grail ­ or golden calf ­ of the entertainment industry,
an award conferring on its recipient both increased status and bargaining
power as commoditized icon. (Not to put too fine a point on it, but the free
gift bags handed out to celebrities at such awards are worth considerably
more than the yearly income of the average Canmerican family.) Celebrities
now campaign for major awards like seasoned (read: corrupt) politicians,
hiring teams of strategists and publicists to promote their cause, while
politicians, an increasing number of them crossing over from the
entertainment field, are styled and cosmetically sold to the public like
programmatic B-list movie stars. The PRA holds special contempt and
condemnation for George Clooney, a liberal star posturing as the rebel
dissenter. Recently accepting his Oscar, Clooney eschewed any overt
political statement ­ while his country is bogged down in an unjust war - in
favour of professing his proud support and admiration for ³The Academy², the
ultimate Hollywood establishment organ that controls the film industry in
the elitist and cabalistic, hierarchical style of Freemasonry. Gone are the
days of the likes of Vanessa Redgrave (peace and blessings be upon her),
who, while accepting her supporting Oscar in 1977 for playing a Jewish
freedom fighter during the Nazi occupation, gave a shout out to the
Palestine Liberation Organization. Even the most overtly Œpolitical¹ stars
today remain inside players who perpetuate the corrupt, nepotistic
plutocracy that is Hollywood by not only showing up to every conceivable
promotional event, but also actively campaigning for awards and accolades.
The PRA strongly encourages homosexuals to challenge their faggoty
predilection for organizing and participating in any and all parades,
festivals, pageants, and ceremonies that support and promote corporate
enterprise. Death to the Hollywood insect who preys upon the life of the
people!
7) The Tyranny of Stylists/The Aesthetic Dementia. Modern styling has become
particularly offensive to the PRA and the PMS, especially considering that
it¹s an invisible fifth column of our tragically misguided misogynistic
homosexual brothers, from stylists to designers, who have dictated and
enforced the grotesque style imperatives that now govern the image of women
in the western world. From the unimaginative, uniform blond frosted tips and
streaks, to the blow-up sex doll collagen-injected lips and over-inflated
fake bosoms, to the grotesquely immobilized Botoxed faces and plastic
surgery disasters, a new model army of faux lap-dancers have willingly
conformed to the style of the hyper-objectified woman, thereby capitulating
to the male gaze in a way that might previously have only occurred in the
worst nightmares of Laura Mulvey. (Cruelly, the advent of high definition
media technology only serves to exaggerate and intensify the monstrosity of
these highly engineered viral vixens on television and, to a lesser degree,
in the movies.) The PRA and its affiliates always encourage personal style
and individualism over tiresome trends, particularly when those trends
encourage women to approximate the image of female porn stars and strippers
who are themselves already a distorted and hideous manifestation of the
female image as conceived by the exploitative, male-dominated adult fantasy
industry. Autonomous and/or amateur sex trade workers with personal flair
and a feminist sensibility are, of course, welcome members of the PRA.
Although there are too many to enumerate, two other areas of modern
aesthetic dementia have been singled out for formal castigation by the PRA.
Firstly, the advent of digital effects and CGI is a particular effrontery to
the delicate sensibilities of our lavender membership. Even a technology in
its infancy should not be responsible for this much garish, crude, and
meretricious imagery. The perpetrators of CGI also have the dubious
distinction of removing all the visceral stimulation and sense of adventure
from the popular media. Nothing can replace the excitement, in the glory
days of analogue, of a vacant model or actor being forced to share the same
temporal space as a man-eating feline or a predatory bird eager to pluck out
his or her eye. The manufacturing (i.e., faking) of high-risk stunts
digitally deprives the audience of its most precious form of entertainment:
the potential evisceration and/or termination of overpaid, privileged, and
totally expendable celebrities. Secondly, the PRA calls out the exhausted
kingdom of hip hop for its negative contribution to fashion and style. From
its ostentatious signifiers of ³bling² ­ ridiculously enormous gold dollar
signs slung around slouched necks; tacky, overstated jewelry and
accessories; pimped out, gas-guzzling showboat cars ­ to its propensity to
engage in stylistic excess, infantilism, conspicuous consumption, and rank
gangsterism, the hip hop and rap contingent has taken nouveau riche
posturing to new levels of banality. Compare this to the sleek and elegant,
militant quasi-Marxist style of Angela Davis and the Black Panthers from the
era of true black revolution and you may be inspired to burn, baby, burn
your Fiddy Cent and The Game CDs and paraphernalia. (Incidentally, no
conscientious PRA member should buy CDs, hip hop or otherwise: free
downloading from the internet not only challenges the corrupt profiteering
of monopolistic music conglomerates and the enforcement of overly strict
copyright practices, but it also reduces the use of plastic and other
non-biodegradable materials unnecessarily used in the packaging of
entertainment products. File sharing is not only true democracy in action,
but it¹s also environmentally friendly! And remember, intellectual property
is theft!
8) Club Pamela Anderson. By Club Pamela Anderson, the PRA is not referring
to an organization represented by or supporting the over-hyped star. It
means club her, like a baby seal. From her recent appearance on the Comedy
Network as the subject of a celebrity roast (with Courtney ³Doll Parts²
Love, by her side ­ Kurt Cobain must be permanently spinning in his grave),
to her hostessing gig at the underwhelming Juno Awards, which presented
the sad spectacle of Canada¹s rad indie rockers salivating over her enormous
pair of commodities (see: Never Trust Anyone Under 30), Anderson represents
pretty much everything that is wrong with western free market capitalism.
She needs to be, if not regulated, garrotted.
9) The Charm Offensive. Counterintuitively, PRA members must always be kind,
courteous, and polite. The fact that the world is going to hell in a Kate
Spade handbag is no excuse for rudeness.
10) Down with Revolutionary Reactionaries. A relatively recent
phenomenon, the term revolutionary reactionaries refers to formerly radical
groups of disenfranchised minorities and/or oppressed peoples who are now
fighting, sometimes violently, for the right to be conservative, stable, and
inert. From the aforementioned French riots, during which so-called
socialist youths donned balaclavas and sacked the libraries of the Sorbonne
(the very site of the genesis of May ¹68!) to promote their fight for
sedentary, entrenched job security; to angry gays and lesbians struggling to
participate in marriage - a traditional social and legal institution
designed to bind and control its citizens - and to adopt family values; to
black thug rappers transforming hip hop, a previously unruly and subversive
form of spontaneous, rebellious street communication, into a corporate
enterprise characterized by good old-fashioned corruption, greed, and
internecine violence (Proof RIP!): the oppressed are doing a pretty good
job of oppressing themselves these days without the help of hegemonic
states, bureaucracies and institutions. The Purple Resistance Army urgently
implores you to Wake Up and Smell the Tear Gas!

Bruce LaBruce for the Purple Resistance Army

WELTANSCHAUUNG
I’m always forgetting that my webblog is one of the most read in the world. Webmaster Larry-Bob tells me that the number of hits is astronomical. Of course not all the hits are for me, the majority are just horndogs looking for girlie action. Google Vagina and it instantly goes toyours truly. Fortunately some wind up being intrigued and actually become fans. Too bad I’m not business oriented, I could use this to my advantage and actually become gainfully employed for the first time in my life. Alas, thats not going to happen anytime soon.
My recent Margaret Cho posting caused a title wave of emugs my way. My intern hasn’t sent me all of them, but one missive from Bill Silva of Bill Silva Touring, Records and Filmworks was a pleasant surprise. Besides producing tours for Miss Cho, Bill has done every biggie in the music business. My intern Gleeson showed me Bill’s web page and he also handles management for Margaret now, and her opening act Bruce, as well as former tour manager John Hogan. Bill has his work cut out for him if he’s now repping Bruce and JHo. Oh welpsis. If he can make that cute little self-centered kid Jason Mraz a huge recording star, he can work wonders on anybody.

Here is what Bill had to say:

Hi vag,

Just wanted to send you a little "heeeeeeYyy" and some love. Saw your blog re: margaret and laughed my ass off in between feeling warm and fuzzy about the nice things you wrote about me. Wow. I'll never make it in hollywood if that nice reputation gets disemminated.

Also didn't realize that the jho relationship was not mutual love, hmmmmm.

How are you? Are you loving life and living it with all the passion you've ever had? I am. I leave on a 6-month sabbatical as of june 30, going all over the world, studying buddhism with monks in thailand, going to south africa to help in aids orphanages, I can't wait!!!

Love love love,
Bill

***
And Larry Bob just forwarded me a note from Margaret’s ex-manager Karen Taussig. Didn't expect to hear from her. Ain’t the internet grand?

***

You know what? I think you are brilliant. There's nothing I respect more than an artist forsaking mainstream acceptance in order to remain true to her vision. That was the message behind Margaret's first film, I'm The One That I Want. That message made her into an icon.

I always thought that you had a unique insight into people's souls. For the record...
a.. Margaret chose her opening acts. Fwiw, I don't think your career would have benefitted from the continued relationship.
b.. And cheap? Well, let's just say it was my job, on Margaret's behalf, to be cheap. Every dollar you earned or spent came out of her pocket, not mine.
c.. I loved J Ho. So flawed, confused, and full of heart and, without the typical hostility towards women. He had lost his mother recently and was truly devastated.
d.. Austin is an incredible artist but an even more opportunistic businessman. He's got Margaret wrapped around his "I will make you look beautiful as long as I can use your name and image for my portfolio" finger.
e.. Margaret's husband tried to kill her at least once. At least that's what I was told by Margaret, Bruce, and Ava. Him spending her money was the least of my concerns. In his latest video project in which she took part, a woman is stabbed with an ice pick and bleeds to death. The minute we parted, she began promoting his projects. I hope everyone in her life isn't just yessing her to death.
f.. I see her new manager a bit differently than do you. They are suing me. Details here.
Karen Taussig

P.S. You coming out on stage in that American Flag dress 4 days or so after 9-11 was the single most awe inspiring moment of my life.

THE LOVE CAMEL
One of my straight girlfriends and her husband came over to my studio recently, the hubby picked up a risque photo off of my desk of one of my tricks, and told me that the shaggy haired white man in the pic is a professional basketball player named Dirk Navitsky or something like that. I don’t remember my sex encounter with him that much, other then his being very tal, and asking me if I knew much about sports, of course I know nothing about sports, and now it makes sense why he asked that question.
I’m also being stalked by the film director Bryan Singer of the X-Man franchise, the movie The Usual Suspects, and the up-coming Superman film. He’s been emailing, calling and writing love letters. We had a bit of a fling awhile back, but he’s way too needy for me. Its funny how these men who are part of the mainstream entertainment super-complex, can’t handle it when someone isn’t impressed with their accomplishments.
I’m also being courted by a 21 year old jazz pianist Taylor Eigsti and his 18 year old guitarist Julian Lage. These jazz prodigy boys came to Bricktops Takes Man!hattan along with pianist David Benoit and want to collaborate on a project with me, and also get inside my big white Nina Blanchard panties.
***
Invited to a sexy bruncheon at El Encanto by Barbara of Santa Barbara for Glen Meadmore’s 49th birthday. Glorious ocean views, scrumpteous food, and an eye-candied hunkly waiter named Paul of German/Mexican extraction who resembles 60s matinee idol John Gavin of Imitation of Life fame. Lots of laughter had by all. Barbara is Santa Barbara royalty with a lineage that goes back to the 1860’s. She also shared some game tidbits about former SB resident Michael Jackson, and current neighbor Oprah. Maybe one of the days I’ll reveal what she told me about them. Am I the only one who doesn’t care for Ms. Winfrey?
Back at Barbara’s family ranch, her famous singing surfer sister Paula made a divine tart that I greedily gobbled two helpings of. I’ve decided not to diet anymore---its all about enjoying food and not denying myself those pleasures. Thank you Barb for a fantastic retreat. You are the bestest!!!!!