THE REQUEST LINE IS OPEN

Some one just emailed me wanting to know the lyrics of the song i sang Friday at Bricktops. Well it goes something like this:

"Cash, moneyorders, visa, mastercard, american express
food stamps
or just plain sex

i don't care how you pay me
just pay me now"

NEBRASKA’S SWEATHEART

Jose Montano made me a delightful pikniq lunch---a veritible feasta. This was the menu: wild king salmon, glutan free rice almond bread, quinoa which is a grain from Jose’s native Bolivia, roasted veggies and a parsnip salade. We sat on the edge of the lake at MacArthur Park, reclaiming the land from the drug dealers and gang bangers who mark it as their turf. It was a glorious act of urban rebellion.

Now I’m going to quote Jose:

"You know whats worse then a celebrity hating you? Its a celebrity loving you"

Just a little something to ponder.

***

Daddy Ron and I had a power bitch meeting with Kirsten of Outfest. She is now the main programmer and would like us to come back as curators of the Platinum Live Art event.

Nothing is in cement as of this writing, but it would be a hoot. Of course the Dadster and I, are full of a million ideas. We are the ultimate concept queens. Will keep you posted as to what happens.

After the power bitch meeting, Kirsten took me out to dinner at The Kitchen where we sat, gabbed, and drank to our hearts content. I love Miss Kirsten, she’s a good time Sally.

Hilary MacGregor, from the LA Times spent the entire day with me, art stalking la diva. We met at my spider hole of an apartment on Hollywood Blvd around 6:30am, then took the subway and bus downtown to Phillipe’s for breaky, then my MacArthur Pk studio where I went about my day as she observed me in my natural habitat. I was afraid my day-to-day would be just too boring. Oh welp, its not like I’m on a reality TV show. That would be pathetic.

I believe that Hilary got what makes me part of the LA experience that few know exists. Yes Heather there is culture in Los Ang, that lives beneath the Valley of the Dolls.

So excited that Bibbe Hansen was my special guest star at Bricktops. Ms. Bibbe completely channeled the spirit of 20s songstress Ruth Etting. My door girl Meesh, who always looks stunning styled Bibbe. She sang three songs and had the audience on its knees. Her handsome artist sons Beck and Channing were very proud of their sexy momma. The worshipful throngs included Mark Murphy, the executive director of the Disney Halls Redcat experimental theatre, L-Word writer and star Gwen Turner, Sundance film festival’s Shari Frilot, Outfests’ Kirsten, a very handsome, subdued and almost unrecognizeable Ice Cube with his Barbershop co-star Troy Garity who is becoming a regular at Bricktops. This is the third times in less then two months he's been here. Hope his mother Jane Fonda will tag along with him one day.
Also met this professional skateboarder boy whose name I can’t remember now, but he sure is cute with a nice skater tight body, o and Tim Armstrong of Rancid, another young man with a very lean and hard body, who loves dancing to the music from the Newton Boys soundtrack. Well at least some celebs have good taste.

DIE LIEBE DER JEANNE NEY

Here's a note from Camryn Manheim, the zaftig star of TV's The Practice drama on ABC affiliates.

"There is a sweet little 1 bedroom apartment for rent in Venice right behind my house.
It's on Ocean Ave
450 sq. feet
Seconds from the canals.
1,100 month
utilities not included.
The landlords only concern is that it be long term. He lives back east and does not want to have to re-rent it from 3,000 miles away.
Let me know if you or anyone you know is interested.

SACKLES DEWITT

Been housesitting for masculinic Dadster Athey while he was in San Fran with Europe's #1 art star Franko B and his beau Chris. Dadda rented a car to drive up Northern way. Its Franko's first time in the golden gate city and Chris' tyro American journey. Lil Chris attends art school in Bristol.
Of course i've made a major messina of Dad's Silverlake Hills compound. I really know how to spread myself out, leaving dirt and fungus stains EVERYWHERE. Ron called and warned me, i'd better do the Mrs. Cleana before he brings his houseguests home. They are all actually having a wonderous time in the bay area. Since the dot.com crash the cisco regu aren't being shrill about people from Los Ang. Rents up there have gown down but not that drastically. Franko gave a lecture at the Art Institute i believe, or some kind of forum facilitated by the great Guillermo Gomez-Pena. Dad wil drive them to Palm Springs for a bit, to stay at Crepe Suzettes Zsa Zsa Gabor case study home, and i'm sure they will make a Joshua Tree pit stop.

Went to the Farmers Market on Ivar street this morn. Ran into video artist Ming Ma with Dr. Jennifer Doyle. Lots of eye candy abounding. Saw the cutest young hot papa with his pretty child in a stroller.

I bought some flowers and gouda cheese. Drank the most fantasticle capuccino and rum almond croissant. Professor Doyle's new wealthy Gallic husband arrives on Tuesday. Can't wait to meet him.

Around 3:30 i was feeling a little horndoggy so i went to beerbust at the Flatline. What a dismal crowd. Just trolls, and their fathers and grandfathers on parade---just happy to be anywhere. What is the matter with my city? Why do men here have the personality of an unlined white piece of paper in a three rung spiral notebook?

LA VIE EN ROSE

Bricktops was hotter then those four sisters from Georgia last night. The Lady Miss Bricktop sang a song about George Bush that went like this:

“O Mr. Bush, President shrub,you’re not very nice, you and your black lover Condolezzi Rice. O Mr. Bush dear Prezident shrub, once? Twice? Thrice!
you’re such the dinge queen, carpet munching on Condi Rice”

she also did a very strange cover of the Grace Jones hit, “Warm Leatherette”
rhyming leatherette with They Won’t Forget, Suzanne Pleshette and Suffragette
The special guest star was Montreal’s musical lunatic Creekbird. The Creek as I like to call him, is one of the most sexiest men alive. He really is quite the stud and every man and woman in the audience was very much desireth of his lusty charms. The theme of the evening was a nutters salute to komedy klunky Harry Langdon, who was the 4th most popular silent era comedian after Chaplin, Keaton and Lloyd.

Bruce La Bruce was back in town from Sundance so of course there were a lot of people who came out to be in his lofty orbit. Including Nikki the former model and wife to photog Terry Richardson who starred in Bruce’ last art porn classic “Skin Flick” The porn version is actually called “Skin Gang” but I prefer the working title which was “Gang of Foreskins” Darling Nikki’s new boyfriend is named Eddie and he use to be a semi regular on that banal sitdumb “Friends” and he also starred in a shortlived WB TV Network drama. He’s one fine piece of caucasion ass, but I can’t remember his last name. Michael Schmidt the jewelry designer, and costumer also was paying his respects to La Judy of Bruce. Michael is doing really well now that he left tired New York and lives here in Los Angeles. I love New York, but it can also get really bleak. Michael designed specialty wardrobe pieces for both Charlie’s Angelz movies.
This graffiti artist named Dash Snow or something like that was taking a million pictures of me. Judy sez he comes from a very wealthy family and his mother sits on the boards of the Whitney Museum of Art and MOMA. I just ADORE these artists who become big in the art world through the dear old fashion grit of nepatism.

Early Friday at around 4pm while I was decorating the club. This woman called who works for Nicole Kidman saying that the star of stars and her jewish/negro lover Lenny Kravitz wanted to drop by. I told her that Bricktops is here every Friday from 10pm-2am --- the cover is $5.00 and Ms. Kidman and Mr. Kravitz, are welcome any time.
Are they even still an item? I liked it better when Nicole was with that humpy jubas rapper Q-Tip.
Mz. Assistant to Nic asked about the VIP area. When i told her we didn't have one she told me she'd call back----but didn't.


NANCY GOES TO RIO

My production designer pal, Jose Montana called and wants to have a Pik Niq. Jose is very posh. He use to design rock videos like REM’s “Losing My Religion” but now he mostly does commercials, though I’m sure he’d like to do feature films, but there is such a heirachy in the biz that moving up to features is one hard gnut to crack. Jose’s mother was a famous Swedish actress and his father a famed Bolivian architect. He grew up in Seattle and London. He has a house in the Echo Park hills that is lovely with a great city view. Jose is also an amazing gourmand.
He sez that Rubencito, my 21 year old El Salvadorean bootypie bar back at the Parlour Club speaks Spanish with a Brazilian accent. I love the way Rueben talks. I used him for my voicemail, although it confuses everyone who calls me.

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EX-CENTRIS

Went to the American Cinemateque to see a screening of "Bell, Book and Candle" starring Kim Novak and James Stewart. I haven’t seen this movie since they use to show old films on TV back in the 70s. It was great seeing it on the big screen at the famed Egyptian Theatre where I spent many Saturdays during my child and young adulthood. Before the Egyptian became the Cinemateque I would come for their bargain basement matinees as late as the early 90s. One of my other favorite movie palaces, The Pacific Theatre on Hollywood Blvd has been closed for ages. Some equity waiver theatre companies use it now, it was transformed from a single large theatre to a multiplex in the 80s. At the reception for the Kim Novak flick I ran into Mrs. Michael Glass, Tom Guzman and Mark Simon and his lovely sister. Mark’s new performance group The Younger DeGenerates will be performing at Bricktops in February.

Received an invitation from famed academe Amelia Jones to participate in a symposium called "Theorizing Queer Visualities" at the University of Manchester. She’d like me to do one of my performance/lectures at the University's Whitworth Gallery. I’m really excited about this.

The others invited for this two week event are: Peggy Phelan, Stanford University/ keynote presentation, with discussion, José Esteban Muñoz, New York University/ second keynote,Richard Dyer, University of Warwick; author of White and Culture of Queers and numerous other publications on film, visual imagery, and identity. Jackie Stacey: cultural theorist whose work addresses gender and sexuality and has helped shape debates in feminism and visual culture; professor at Lancaster University, Patty Chang: internationally known performance artist based in New York/ California.
Richard Fung, experimental video and filmmaker and theorist of queer Asian visuality; based in Toronto.
Thomas Allen Harris: filmmaker based in New York and California whose work *explores desire, ambivalence and the construction of diasporic identity, through a critical engagement with questions of blackness, sexuality and the body.* (from electronic intermix website)Lyle Ashton Harris: artist and commercial photographer and theorist whose work addresses sexuality and race in and across the black male body, based in New York.
Ma Liuming: Chinese performance artist whose work involves cross-dressing and interrogating Western stereotypes of Chineseness.Isaac Julien: internationally known queer black filmmaker and theorist from London. Glen Ligon: New York based internationally known artist whose work addresses intersection of race and sexuality.
Ming-yuen S. Ma: Los Angeles-based video artist and theorist; author of Slanted Vision (1995), an experimental video exploring the relation between vision and desire with eroticized images of Asian men.
Yasumasa Morimura: Japanese artist who deploys his own body in photographs that mimic famous Western images (most of these involve some kind of cross-dressing).
Prathiba Parmar, originally from Kenya, now a major British experimental film and video maker who explores feminist, diasporic, and queer identities in her work.
Toxic Titties: feminist queer performance collective from Los Angeles.
Ike Ude: Nigerian artist whose photographic work (like Ashton Harris's) addresses queer black masculinity, usually through the depiction of his own body.
Legier Biederman, Ph.d. student at UCLA; work attempts to push boundaries of queer theory and feminism vis-a-vis black Hip Hop music imagery.Gavin Butt, lecturer at Goldsmiths College, Univ. London, whose art historical work addresses gay masculinity in art of the 1950s.Sue-Ellen Case, professor in theatre department at UCLA; her work has been central to the development of queer theory in theatre studies.
Dianne Chisholm, teaches at University of Alberta; has just written a book called Queer Constellations: Fictions of Space in the Wake of the City about queer flânerie and modernist literature.
Patricia Ticineto Clough, author of "Queer Desire and the Technobodies of Feminist Theory," in Autoaffection: Unconscious Thought in the Age of Teletechnology (2000).
Barbara Creed, feminist and queer film theorist who teaches at the Unviersity of Melbourne, Australia.
Thomas Dowson, lecturer and theorist of queer archaeology from University of Manchester.
Jennifer Doyle, assistant professor in the English Department at University of California, Riverside; her work on Eakins and Warhol establishes a new framework for thinking "queer visualities."
Susan Foster, professor in world cultures department at UCLA; her work has been central to the development of feminism and queer theory in dance studies.Sander Gilman, professor at Univ. Illinois, Chicago; has written extensively on sexuality, Jewishness, and gender in relation to "scientific" imagery.
Michael Hatt, Birkbeck College, University of London; has written extensively on gender and sexuality and issues of visuality, currently finishing a book on homoeroticism and the visual in late Victorian Britain.
Catherine Lord, professor of art at UC Irvine; her work has long explored the interstices of queer theory/art theory nexus. She is an established art critic.Sharon Marcus, teaches as Columbia University; works on gender, sexuality, and urban history; has published on the gendered city.
Laura U. Marks, theorist of gay porn and new media theorist; author of The Skin of the Film: Intercultural Cinema, Embodiment, and the Senses (2000).Michael Moon, professor at Johns Hopkins, has worked on queerness in Warhol and Joseph Cornell.Marlon Ross, University of Virginia; works on African American gay culture, including visual culture.Shuddhabarata Sengupta: media theorist who addresses identity and global media, co-founder of Sarai media collective; lives and works in Delhi, India.
Robert Summers, theorist of queer visualities who is working to break the boundaries of "gay art history."
Carole-Ann Tyler, professor of English, UC Riverside; works on queer theory and visuality.
Lola Young, author of Fear of the Dark: "Race," Gender, and Sexuality in the Cinema (1996), based in London?

FADE TO GRAY

Went to the opening of FADE 1990-2003 African American Artists in Los Angeles A Survey Exhibition curated by sexy little Malik Gaines of the pretty fair skin, curly hair and bumping tight booty. I’d sure like to burrow my tongue up his anal stairwell, but I’ll have to save that for another episode of the Oprah Winfrey show.

Malik is also in the wonderful showcore band My Barbarian, with pretty Jade Gordon and his zesty Latin lover Alex. Malik is part of the new breed of young, fresh, go getting colored boys working the staid art world. I wish I was more ambitious, but as an olde school rebellion, lets face the Gertrude P. Stein custard------ I am what I am, what I ambla.

Of course with Bricktops also being on a Friday, I didn’t make the opening reception till right before it was ending. What a delicious scene. I NEVER go to art openings, mainly because they are so dull, but this one had some spunk. A colored people art show in Los Angeles is a mighty rare occurance, so everyone seemed to be in a celebratory mood. I was dressed as Saint Salicia Tate, a look that isn’t easy for the majority of public consumption. I just breezed in and then breezed out because I had a show to do. I’m glad I came though and Malik did a great job of displaying the work.

Who was there?

colored girl TV writer Josslyn Luckett, Willy Banta and Miriam Jacobsen of the LA Weekly, Phylis Teen from the band Spooky Pie, NPR’s bubble butt studkin Ben Adair and his lovely jewel of a girlfriend Shoshanna, Nora Keyes and Max Gonberg of the Centimeters, LA Weekly editor Joe Donnelly and his glamorous dancer wife Miss Candy, Brian Freeman, Leslie Sahr the grand dame of afrikan american art,
Creekbird, artist Ming Ma, Professor Jennifer Doyle, writers Ellen Kraut Hasagowa and Lisa Teasley.

During the week I’m going to go see the exhibition so I can pay closer attention to the work. I’m really anxious to check out Mark Bradford’s pieces as I’ve been told he is really exceptional. What I know of his background is exciting----the boy use to be a hairhopper turned artist who uses a lot of black hair care products in his abstract pieces.

OOMPH DE TRIUMPHE

Got an emug that my good girlffriend the NYC superstar drag diva, The Lady Bunny is Djing a major fashion event at the Eiffel Tower.

I'll make it easy and copy what i received so you can read it for yourself:

Armed with a clutch of CDs and a wig box big enough to get Marie Antoinette twirling in her grave, New York drag superstar Lady Bunny is jetting into the City of Light to DJ one of the hottest fashion parties of the new year.
To be held January 21 in La Salle Gustave Eiffel, on the first floor of the
famous tower, the event will celebrate the launch of Visionaire Magazine's
Visionaire 42 Scent.

Known to most as an outrageous comedienne and personality about town, Lady
Bunny, a fashion industry darling, is also the in-house DJ for the
extravagant Visionaire (and V) magazines and can be found spinning her brand
funk-soul-pop-disco at the hottest Fashion Week parties. Previous gigs for
Visionaire include spinning at L'Opera Garnier (becoming the first DJ ever
to spin in that famous Parisian opera house), the Fendi showroom in Milan,
Harvey Nichols (London) and Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum on Times Square.

Other recent gigs include the Fashion Group International Awards at
Cipriani, Saks Fifth Ave.'s main floor during the holidays and Ritz Carlton
South Beach's New Year's Eve party where she became the first DJ ever hired
by a Ritz Carlton hotel.

The Lady Bun Bun is the hardest working queen I know. There aren't too many other queens that i hang out with. She is one of the few, and is always making me laugh till my intestines are sticking out of my anus.

At the end of the note was this piece of hot gossip:

Grace Jones attended Jade Jagger's birthday this week in a bar in Mayfair.
She disappeared into a cubicle for ages and then burst out, executing karate
moves while announcing loudly in a fake German accent: "Here is ze cocaine
autobahn!"

EMELINE D’ LANSON

Friday at Bricktops we celebrated Aimee Semple McPhearson, the famous evangelist who ran off with her much younger lover and pretended to be kidnapped. I love Geraldine Page’s performance as Miss Aimee in the 1975 John Schlessinger film of Nathaniel West’s "Day of the Locust".

Of course my interpretation is as the The Most High Right Rev’rend Saint Salicia Tate. Salicia hadn’t performed in Los Angeles in over two years so it was a thrill for the audience to see her in full self-beatified regalia.

As my alter boy vestal virgens Dan Peiera and Jason North were very angelic and pious. The only celebs I personally saw was that former Calvin Klein model turned TV Tarzan Travis Fimmel with fellow Aussie actor Martin Henderson who was at the club a few weeks ago and is in some new motorcycle chase movie that also stars Ice Cube and Debbie Mazar’s younger sister.

FRED IS DEAD

O I thought I’d mention that Ron O’Neal, the star of "Superfly" and" Superfly TNT" died at the age of 66. You can’t keep a good nigger down---- he will live on in our cable, vcr and dvd hearts forever.

Just received this sweet emug from one of my children who I wrote a recommendation to grad school for. He’s seems to have his life in some kind of NYC order:

It's hard to put my misguided use of the english language into such a
structure as to fully express my missing of you while I am here in the
cold barren, but always drunken and fun new york. Let me say this the
feelings of longing are as wide & dark as P-Hiltys (aka paris
hilton's) column inches in the month of november last.

The weather here is ball shivering, but manageable due to the warmth
and comfort that Prof. Jose Munioz n' Nao Bustamante have provided me.
Those two are fun fun fun, and they make me feel somewhat connected to
the dirty nasty underworld which has your sweat running in it's rivers.

I am also becoming some sort of pseudo - intellectual wonderkind, the
school your amazing letter of recommendation got me into saw
it fit to give me a 4.0 in my first semester of grad school and has
made me a Teaching Assistant. I am really hoping that TA stands for
tits and ass, of all flavors shapes and permutations. Once I really
have this place sewn up I will find out how i can get the school to
send you out here and pervert the minds of the youth. The media department here is full of all sorts of
baby-dykes and queer boys who would fawn over you like the royalty you
are.

Ok, for now, i know you are busy and this is long, I just wanted to say
I love and miss you and hope you are well and surrounded by scores of
cute hump-able boys with bee-sting lips.

xo
benjamin godsill

DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS WHEELCHAIR?

Ran into tranny chasing Production Chief of Dreamworks Michael DeLuca. Sometimes he’s nice to me and other times he’s sour. On this occasion he was very very claver.

My companion, an industry insider (who shall remain nameless) told me Mikey is on the rag because he’s getting the axo in June from his employer. What was really bizarre though, is Mr. De Luca telling me he saw a copy of my short experimental film "The White To Be Angry" and asking me to give him a call-----which of course I won’t, but how in the hell did he see my movie?

Last Friday at Bricktops I felt bad about ignoring cute Michael Imperioli. He’s in the new comedy "Baby’s Daddy" that my mack mama black dyke friend Cheryl Dunye directed. I hear the film is doing very good at the box office boffo. I want to see it. Its Cheryl’s first time at the helm of a mainstream product. I also want to see the movie "Honey" that my good girlfriend and frequent collaborator "Crepe" Suzette Matheson did the costumes for. Crepe is now in Texas working on a new flicker.

Another email i received that sent me in to tres amusant heaven:

FUCKIN HOT I enjoyed eating your hole so much that I just couldnt wait to tell my parents about you! I told them how your hole opened up and swalloed my tounge ( which my dad had a comment about)any way they seemed very happy that I enjoyed eating out your asshole so much. My brothers were so fuming mad and pissed off. They haven't had a good piece of ass to eat in so long. ;) Lets hook up soon are you busy. I am really having a taste for your hole and to do some good work on your cock, but my favorite is your goddamn fucking, steamy hole. let me know if you would like to come over

Brad

BREIMS OF RASOBRAR

Went to the grand birthday celebration of Judy, Mrs. Michael Glass, Ms. Tom Guzman and Tony, the bartender from the Parlour Club at Akbar. Was packed to the raftinis, and although I wasn’t exactly in a social mood, I did warm up as the evening progressed. It was nice seeing Elvia, Michele Carr of the Velvet Hammer, Epilades Meesh, Selene and their bitch Scratch plus William E Riche, Marvina, St’Eve "Harrington" Hall,
Glenn of Masculinity, the great Jeffreyland Hilbert, Javier of Peres Projects, Darren Stein and Asian Punk Boy.

La Judy was a font of info giving me the mucuous on Deryck Whibley of the Canadian band Sum 41. Although this fresh faced Canuck has been linked with party favour Paris Hilton, he also has quite the homosexual past. At age 15 he had a bona foote relationship with a guy who was 30, so like most kids from Ontario of his generation he is prone to grease his tank with lots of raw sugar. He’s even partied hartied with Judy and her racause lot in Toronto, and "The Deryck" is pretty generous with his dope supply. He can afford to be since he has a power dealer that goes with him EVERYWHERE and gets him the best of the bestest and right now the fashionable cotic of choice is plain olde fashion opium in its pure form. Now you have to agree I really share with you ALL the hot gossip and I hold nothing back

THE RELUNCTANT PORNOGRAPHER

My Bruce La Bruce Sundance Festival sendoff party at Bricktops was adaisial. Judy arrived late of course, but was in good form. I laid out a casting bed for her to audition new talent, or at least check out some long resumes. She came up on stage and made an announcement that she was looking for boys for her next artporn flick that is about latino gangbangers and the white cops who love them.

Her couterie included St’Eve "Harrington" Hall and his giant peniled lover Glen, Billy Rich(editor of Black Hawk Down) Mrs Michael Glass, Asia Argenta, The Poubelle Twins, Don & Augusta, Michael Kenney, young and extremely well hung British actor Matthew Goode who co-stars with Mandy Moore in the new romantic comedy "Chasing Liberty", a very skinny Martin Henderson (Torque)Josh Duhamel(A Date with Tad Hamilton) Roger M. Corman the 27 year old son of legendary producer/director Roger W. Corman and Michael Imperioli(Babys Daddy).

The theme for the evening was silent film director King Vidor, but Ms. LaBruce seductively stole his thunder.

Abby Travis of Elastica fame also came by with one of her oldest and dearest friends, Sandy. The two caused major jailbait drug havoc from Orange County to South Central and beyond. Sandy knew a lot of the olde South Bay punk rock crowd that I use to hang with in the early 80s.

Supersonics basketball star Vladimir Admanovic was with Amy Lee and John LeCompt of Evanescence. I think they are a hot buttery threegy.

Oh and of all people, the writer Joyce Carol Oates is a huge Bruce fan and came to the club to meet him, though I think she got scared when I started to show hardcore scenes from "Gang of Four Skins"

A SINGULAR MODERNITY

Big Daddy Athey came to pick me up at my studio after I was stood up by my two big double barreled peterkus dates, who were supposed to take me to din din and then escort me to Judy LaBruce’s opening at the Peggy Wong Guggenheim Memorial Gallery in Chinatown. I hate going to openings, even my own, but we braved the discomfort to give blair kisses to Ms. Blab and Miss Nicki, the star of "Gang of Four Skins". There were only three BLAB portraits from Judy's new movie "Rasberry Reich". The other items on display didn't hold my interest. In all fairness i was hungry, horndoggy and in a general lousy mood.

LA COME’DIE HUMAINE

Was taken to breaky by Mar’Lou De Luna, my oldest friend. MarLou and I have known each other since the 4th grade. We also went to the same junior high and college(UCLA) though I didn’t graduate from UCLA as I preferred to finish my schooling in the Ivy mortared east. Ms. DeLuna went on to law school and married her college sweatheart Hal Marinas who is also a lawyer. They live in a giant house in the Glendale Hills.

Ever so often we get together at the Pacific Dining Car. Usually we meet up every few months, but because of both our crazy schedules its been over a year. MarLou is hilarious in that dry sort of way. I quote verbatim her latest zarathusthra:

"I told my husband, If you die, I’ll never remarry . . . I hate men!"


THE BROTHERHOOD OF CONSOLATION

I’m always getting these nutters emails sent to me. Here is one I found particularly amusing:

Author Seeks Experiences of Unprovoked Hostility (Anywhere)

Do you consistently experience unprovoked hostility directed at you?
Do others continually condescend, discredit, devalue or otherwise disrespect you without cause?
Do your superiors always resent your talent, competence and strong work ethic?
Are you pushed out of jobs or social groups over and over again?
Are even complete strangers nasty to you for no reason?
And as a result…
Have you fallen short of your potential, in spite of being ambitious, well educated, talented, competent and sociable?

If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, you may be an eligible candidate for a study about a hidden syndrome that affects an exclusive group of people.

To qualify, first submit only a summary of your experiences using the format provided. If your experience fits the profile, you will be asked to answer a comprehensive questionnaire for payment. Describe experience(s) in body of email; do not use attachments.

Summary Format

Part I: Demographics
Sex
Age
Race
Nationality
Education
Occupation
Income
Religion
Residence (type, ownership, etc.)

Part II: Liabilities
Record any obvious disability or other liability that might trigger dislike (e.g., overweight, tattoos, Mohawk hair style, etc.)

Part III: Experience(s)
Describe one or two instances that respond to one or more of the questions posed above. Do not use real names; provide only the nature of relationships to you (e.g., boss, teacher, shoe salesman, store clerk, friend, etc.). Be clear and concise. Your summary should be no more than a paragraph or two.

Compensation: $100
Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
Please, no phone calls about this job!
Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
Reposting this message elsewhere is NOT OK.
this is in or around Anywhere


CELESTINE PROPHECY

Qtr Pounder aka: Christine Pelisek my Canuck gal pal from the LA Weekly took me to lunch at the Hollywood Roosevelt. I love Christine, she’s from Ottawa the capital of Canadia and is a pure hoot. She wrote this weeks cover story for the LA Weekly and did a fine job reporting on the murderous romantic tanglings of some nutters Upland Empire kids. Mz Hollywood Roosevelt is one of my little secret eating places. Hardly anyone goes there except for Johnny Grant the honorary mayor of Hollywood. You can have the whole place to yourself like its your private VIP restaurant. Our waiter was a middle aged Latino assisted by a cute younger Latin boi with a bouncy baby booty. The kid sure gave bottom energy. The food was great and a fine time was had by all.

TEXT BESSAGING

Just another instant correspondence between me and my Dutch/Rican thrombone.

deribicus: hi I read your stories, they're very funny. you're lucky to have bamboozled the Weekly into bending to your ways
VAGDAVIS: who is this?
deribicus: America's favorite Puerto Rican/Dutch--from New York City, JOHN SANCHEZ! [applause]
VAGDAVIS: oh i didn't recognize your IM screen name. I'm always cautious because people that i don't know also IM me ALL THE TIME and its sooooo annoying.
deribicus: sometimes it is even annoying when people you do know IM, yes? That is my own feeling.
VAGDAVIS: last night at bricktops was my sendoff party for bruce la bruce's new movie that is going to sundance, a great night in all
deribicus: I do not doubt it! too bad you will miss Glenn's bday tomorry!
VAGDAVIS: its so warm today. last week was colder then the east coast but now we're back to our regular balmy winter
deribicus: that, I miss.
VAGDAVIS: oh the Glenn Wonder of all the seven worlds. Give him lots of baskety hugs and kisses for me
deribicus: I still gotta get my hou$e in order and pay off the tax man.
VAGDAVIS: 2nite is Bruce's opening at the Peres Projects Gallery
deribicus: is it the same show that was here?
VAGDAVIS: oh i don't know what showed in NYC. tomorrow is also a party in his honor at Akbar
deribicus: well! He's tearing that town UP!
VAGDAVIS: i'm going to go to the opening if my two muscle dates don't stand me up. bruce is here till the 15th of Jan then Sundance then back in LA for a week
deribicus: did you see his new moovie?
VAGDAVIS: Nope.
deribicus: are you in it?
VAGDAVIS: He didn't have enough $ to fly me to Berlin so Shari Vine got my part in the film. Last night at my club bruce used the casting bed we made for him to audition cute guys for his next movie a steamy porno that pits latino and blatino gangbangers against white hot cops.
deribicus: Shari seems nice but is "just ok" as a performer. If you ask me!
VAGDAVIS: sold some of my books for $Cash and ran into David who works at the book store. He was in Fag Bash with Paul Bonomo who was out here in LA visiting David.
deribicus: Wow! that Bonomo gets around. He was just here with his new musical duo "Captain Comotose."
VAGDAVIS: oh my good friend duped a copy of Angels in America the HBO movie. I liked it.
deribicus: I haven't seen it but I guess Flotilla has a big bit in it? I like her.
VAGDAVIS: oh my gawd yes. Flo was genius in it. Lypsinka is in the crowd scene seething with jealousy. Other queens too. Lyp got a bad review in the Advocate of all places for her new stage review
deribicus: I saw that show. It was good and Elaine Stritch was in the audience busting a gut!
VAGDAVIS: Flo really tore up in her scene in Angels. oh are you and Lyp friends?
deribicus: no, I but she and Steve LaFreniere (Art Forum Magazine) are friends.
VAGDAVIS: i don't know her at all. i saw her in boy drag at the Slammer Sex club getting down. It was frightening to say the least. she has a somewhat large cock. But that ginger rubber face in ecstacy, well lets just say its not a pretty sight.
deribicus: oh geeze. that's scary to even read about
VAGDAVIS: we were both walking in at the same time. and gave each other this look, "don't i know you from somewhere" i didn't figure out it was her for almost an hour into the sex club
deribicus: ...and her dick was in your bootie
VAGDAVIS: hahahahaha and her scat in my mouth
deribicus: Then some other familiar looking guy came on your face and--oh my God, it's Joey Arias!
VAGDAVIS: then he pissed on me it smelled just like chanel no. 5
deribicus: Gold and Black
VAGDAVIS: golden streams baby
deribicus: it was a vision of pre-lapsarian Africa
VAGDAVIS: oh i gotta return three trillion emails and call my dates to see if they are still picking me up.
Kisses my darling. ta tar
deribicus: good-bye to you, my guiding light & leading lady!!

BEAUTY IS AS BEAUTY DOES

Francesco Scavullo, the famed Cosmo photographer died at age 82. He took my picture back in the 80s and said that I was one of the most beautiful women in the world.

RICKI LAKE DEBACLE

I always get a few emails a month asking me to be on some TV talk show or audition for a sitcom. I always turn it down. The lastest is from a producer of the Ricki Lake Show. I loved Ricki when she was chubby and the star of Hairspray and in several other John Waters movies. Last time I was at Fertile LaToyah Jackson’s house she was watching Ricki’s talk show and I was surprised at how much weight the girl has lost. She was very sexy fat, but doesn’t radiate the same quality thin. She’s still charming and sweet natured, but like Divine her big size made her unique and special. I don’t know what this has to do with anything but I just decided I’d mention it.

PLAY DULCIMER

a recent instant message dialogue with my good east coast pal:

deribicus: Hello Ms. Davis
VAGDAVIS: oh pretty one/perfect one. i love you
deribicus: And I you!
VAGDAVIS: i had such a nice time with you last friday. and all the bricktops kids adore you. you looked so good in your spiffy outfit.
Mr. Uncertain and Co. Really put on a show eh?
deribicus: Oh that crowd is one of the best you have drawn ever, so Fresh Faced! But sadly I did not wear that raccoon coat home to NYC as a trophy, as I dared hope. And I love your new song re: Strom Thurman and Uma Thurman.
VAGDAVIS: did you talk to Mr. Raccoon coat, who was he?
deribicus: I did talk to him, didn't get so much bio, he's from Long Beach went to Poly High (same as Snoop plus Cameron Diaz) and came w/ the girl w/ the right on blue dress and the dyke who looked like a boy driver---she was great
VAGDAVIS: I love people who are creative dressers.
deribicus: early 20th century clothing lends itself to much intrigue, esp. for the ladies.
VAGDAVIS: Can't wait till Bruce La Bruce is in town
deribicus: Who is the one chap you do know, he is kind of little and he had on a black trench coat and the de rigeur cap?
VAGDAVIS: Oh that was Dax, he's the gay boyfriend of Charity Hope Valentine. He and Charity sometimes have sex with each other. These young kids are wonderfully pansexual .
deribicus: Oh I love those who can take pansexuality out of theory and into practice! Dr. Richard Wang asked: Did Ms. Davis look like Queen Latifah in the movie Chicago? I said: sorta!
VAGDAVIS: now who is this Dr. Wang?
deribicus: he is the inventor of www.blairmag.com, that nutty ezine I wrote for w/ the Carol Channing tribute, the Gay or Eurotrash game, etc. He's this kooky, girly Chinese fag, and he's also an actual medical doctor! you met him here one time. but you meet everyone!
VAGDAVIS: found a new Bricktops discovery this cute girl group called the Ditty Bops. amazing harmonies—just signed to Warner Bros. gotta run. have a million emails to return. love you miss you already kiss kiss bang bang
deribicus: To you, all my love!! see you soon.

FOR WHAT CAME YE INTO THE WILDERNESS?

Received a lovely letter and packet from Renton Durelle. Its his ritual four times a year. Ren must be at least 22 or 23 now. He’s going to graduate school at Cornell, and is one of the most dear and sincere young men I’ve ever met. He’s also a striking beauty, tall, uber masculine and direct. His family is one of the most powerful in these United States of God’s America country.

He was one of my students when I taught for a stint at Deep Springs College, the utopian school in the high desert on the border between Nevada and California. The students pick the professors, and I was one of the hand chosen few. It was such a priveledge. My good friend the extroidinary writer Bruce Benderson, taught there, and he must have told the kids about me, though I’ve never had that confirmed.

Deep Springs is a two year liberal arts campus with 25 students-all strapping boys in their radiant youth, the school occupies a 120 square mile cattle ranch. Lucien Nunn founded the school in 1917 as a refuge from the distractions of traditional campus life. The school credo is based on three pillars: labor, academics and self-government. The boys are allowed to develop an instinctive understanding of democratic principles and the need to serve society. The schools principles of unselfish service in uplifting mankind from materialism to idealism really dotted all my proverbial I’s. There aren’t any TV’s, computers, or phones, not because they are against them, its just that they don’t get good reception so its not worth having them.

And I’ve never been in such a natural homosexually inclined environment, where the boys give each other pleasure in a matter-of-fact, unaffected way, courting each other with a spirit of true brotherhood, love and affection. No mealy mouthed, shrill, faggoty, histrionics.

I wish I had known about Deep Springs when I had graduated from high school, one thousand years ago.

Young Ren will be in Los Angeles in the Spring and I can’t wait to see him again. Did i mention that he also has a HUGE penis?

ADELPHIA MI ET CURET

Oh i had forgotten to write about my day of drinking with Jeffreyland Hilbert at the Spotlight Pub a few weeks ago. I adore Jeffreyland. He is originally from Idaho, and i think that his not being from LA gives him an outsiders take of Los Angeles that is spot on and righteous. I've never known a white boy to be so black in his take on the world. Jeffreyland is a rebel at heart, and is the ultimate seeker of truth.
I was relaying to Jeffreyland how big Daddy Athey was telling me that this is the year that i need to have a nice little relationship with someone. It doesn't have to be the love of my life, it can be very temporary, but he thinks that i need that.
Jeff concurred, but also agreed with me when i said that when i see these gay boi couples running around town, i don't see any great passion between them. They just seem like nice school chums.

SCENTED WITH BERGAMONT

My favorite couple Skot Armstrong and James Tallon, the driving forces behind the Science Holiday art collective and Museum of Fun galleries threw an old fashion high HIGH tea party at the Regal Biltmore Hotel Sunday afternoon. It was a perfect day to gather at this historic hotel’s Rendevous Court. My escort was Matthew Phillip an Aussie journalist and contributing editor to Blue Magazine who now lives in New York with his sweet and delicious beau Michael and works for the Village Voice under Richard Goldstein.

The most important wo-man in Los Angeles Bibbe Hansen with her young, well hung, jailbait husband, Sean Carrillo rounded out the party. A fine time was had by all. I’ve never laughed so much and the tea service was purely enchanting. I choose the "champagne of tea-- Darjeeling , which is very light almost "high yeller" in color with a savagely delicate muscatel flavour and flowerette bouquet. Of course I made a pure piglet of myself almost choking on the smoke salmon and dill butter on country bread sandwiches. I didn’t eat that many of the "dainties", but I couldn’t resist the scones with Devonshire cream. Skot and James are so generous and showered me with what seemed like a million presents. All things I really need-----I swear that besides being sexy they are both clairvoyant.

ALMANACH DE GOTHA

Bricktops’ George White Scandals nite was just that ---an unadulturated scandale!!!!! The Fishnet Floozy’s performed and as usual tore up! The Floozys are good time gals, very sweet with a nice raunchy, fun loving crowd.

Mr. Uncertain sang a new song that really kicked. So many notables in the crowd that
I don’t know where to begin.

Kitty Diggens, the czarina of Burlesque from Portland, Oregon was celebrating her birthday in the boydello lounge. Prickle was the guest DJ and he played some amazing tunes----all records, no CD’s.

Pirate Jenny then took over behind the wheels of steel and was spinning like a wild woman. Pirate Jenny aka: Professor Jennifer Doyle hosted a lovely New Year’s day brunch that featured all of the most acclaimed artists and
academics, with memosa’s and delicious edibles.

Getting back to Bricky’s. A BBC documentarian came and was filming for a special on the LA Club Scene. I also got to meet cute Matthew an Aussie journalist now living in New York with his sexy boyfriend Michael. Matthew is working for the Village Voice and also is a main contributor to the Aussie mag Blue.

Rebecca Del Rio of Mulholland Drive fame was enchanting wearing all Chanel. Her best accessory was a very young Jewish boy from Chicago with the fullest lips who gave me a kiss that warmed my cold black heart. Bibbe Hansen and her husband Sean Carrillo were radiant dancing up a storm with Dame Darcy, Nora of the Centimeters, Creekbird, the Velvet Rope’s Lisa Derrick, Gwen Kahn, Shauna Leone, Miss Morgan Olsen and the deliriously sexy Poubelle Twins.

Gorgeous Daniel Bruhl of Wolfgang Petersen’s german hit Good Bye, Lenin! Complimented my DJ skills and Victor Rasuk (Raising Victor Vargas) was chatting away in Spanish with our humpy bar back Rubencito. I was also introduced to the French director Nicolas Philibert(Etre et Avoir) who will be in Los Ang for two weeks and said he will come back this Friday, because he wants to meet Bruce La Bruce.

CAHIERS DU CINE’MA

When I was in Paris two years ago I saw this movie Secret Things by Jean-Claude Brisseau. I loved it. Now its playing here at the Nuart Theatre in tired West LA for one week only and I had to see it again, though riding the bus all the way to the westside isn’t my idea of a frolic filled time.

Ate a delicious meal around the corner at LuLu’s. LuLu’s use to be just a coffee shop if I remember correctly, but now they are a full menu café, famous for their fried twinkies(yuk). The girl who served me was very personable and attentive, not what I’m use to from people in this part of town.

Getting back to the movie---its audacious and stars two striking french lasses Coralie Revel and Sabrina Seyvecou and an arrogant chunk of a man played by Fabrice Deville. I’m not going to tell you anything about it, just recommend that you see it.

GOLDEN STREAMS

Rick Van Santen died. Rick was one of the owners of Goldenvoice, who have the monopoly on punk rock promotion in Los Angeles. He also started the Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival in Indio that has become very popular and critically acclaimed. I remember when Rick sold t-shirts for the Screamers. He use to be somewhat cute, but the last time I remember seeing him was when I opened up for Siouxie and the Banshees at the Hollywood Paladium, and he was fat, bald and middle aged looking. I didn’t recognize him, and we are exactly the same age. There was a time when he had a crush on me, but my drag persona was just too overwhelming for him. I wonder if Wiley will take his place in the firm?

THE SEVEN SISTERS

Saw the new Julia Roberts flick "Mona Lisa Smile". I’m not a big Ms. Roberts fanatic, but she does have some filmic charm and more personality then Meg Ryan or Sandra "Dullard"Bullocks. The pic was actually quite lovely. I adore Julia Stiles and she really conveyed the period better then any of the other actresses. Maggie Gyllenhaul was also a standout, and the young nerdy actor who was pursuing the wallflower girl. I really wanted him-BIG TIME!!!! Poor Kirsten Dunst. She is way too young to look so old.

THE RED SHOES

Saw Robert Altman’s new ballet movie "The Company". For some reason it kept reminding me of his 70s films "Quintet" and "A Wedding" I liked it. Neve Cambell was surprisingly good for once. I guess she started off as a dancer back in her native Canucky. Also that lush James Franco kept giving me a boneaid. Little Jimmy needs to become my sex husb. One thingy that Mr. Altman really got down was the bad fashion sense of dancers. They have hot bodies, but outside of tights they always choose the worst clothing combinations.

THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED

Got this emug from my olde punque rock pal Bob who lives in the Southwest and has been a fixture in that regions alterna scene for years.

"I know this is horrible news, but it is true, Dave Nash just called me and told me about it. But all he knew so far is that Chris (ex meat
puppet and close friend of long time past) was with his girlfriend at the Post Office and for whatever reason, and I don't have all the facts
straight yet, but a policeman tried to arrest him and he grabbed the club from the cop and started beating him with it, then he gets shot in the back by another cop. This is really hurtful news for me because the last I heard was that he was doing quite well and laying off the
crack and just sticking to his small dose of daily methadone--like most of us ex-heroin addicts. But if anyone has any MORE news that I'm
missing about this, PLEASE fill me in, as I'm calling his ex-girlfriend
right now to tell her about it.

luv all,

bob


"Junk is the ideal product.... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talknecessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy....The junk merchant does not sell his product to the consumer, he sells
the consumer to his product. He does not improve and simplify hismerchandise. He degrades and simplifies the client. He pays his staff in junk."
--William Burroughs

FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD

Alan Bates died. He was one of my favorite British actors. The only part he played that I didn’t care for was when he was opposite Bette Midler in The Rose.

I love his homoerotic nude wrestling match with Oliver Reed in Women in Love. I useto have such a crush on Oliver Reed, especially his role in the movie Oliver.

***

Did I mention that I attended a gorgeous birthday dinner party for Lenny, the young elder, the owner of the Parlour Club. Yes the food was heavenly all vegan, and what a healthy, luxor-ious feast it was. I could easily become a vegetarian, eating morsels of that magnitude. The chef was none other then the beautiful Daphne Cousineau, late of Vivende-Universal. Daphne and her husband Olivier have a sweet baby son who is just 3 months old. What an incredible child! I don’t like children, but I immediately fell in love with this one. What a perfect baby. Never cried or fussed once. Olivier and Daphne are returning to France, which really makes me sad. I adore them. Got to also meet Olivier’s younger brother. What a stone foxxxx, with his dark hair, and pale pre-raphelite skin. Yum yum. Also at the party was the director of the movie, "A River Runs Through It" He was nice and charming, but I forgot his name. If I’m not interested in sleeping with someone its difficult for me to remember them. Sorry.