Saw that french film, "Confusion of Genders" it was very very French. The lead actor was sexy in that skinny Gallic way, even though he was way long on the tooth. It wasn't unbelievable that a young boy calf and a radiant pretty girl would have the hotsy totsy for him, as well as a power bitch wanting his designer baby. I liked the flick, but i'm a sucker for Gaul cinema.
Hung out at the Farmers Market and had a grand time checking out the big footed Tiva sandal clad tourista babes. What is it with those god damn Tiva's? Will someone tell me---quick!!!!
Went to Fubar to check out Jackie Beat's new show. Jackie has lost so much weight that i find her unrecognizeable as both a boy and a girl. I thought she looked amazing fat.
Met up with Lenny & Andrew from the Parlour plus Lenny's frat friend Mike and Scotland and Devin of Maurice's Little Bastard.
I haven't seen Jackie perform since she lived in New York and did an evening at Fez. Her act hasn't changed that much. She still does her amped versions of popular radio hits backed by what i think are kareoke tracks. Lady Bunny does a similar shtick. Jackie is best with her blurbs with the audience and just her traditional banter in a stand-up comic like mode. She is really funny and sharp, just like Bunny.
Her bit about putting other people down to lift one's self esteem was particularly choice.
If i was her i'd drop references to Cher and Madonna. Its just that they are such easy targets, but Jackie's gay audience are pretty mainstream and seem to only relate to subjects that are typical of an urban gay crowd, so it is appropriate for her to stick within that vein i guess.
Ms. Jackie is talented and she wants a mainstream career in the world of showbiz which i don't, but i'm not sure there is a place for her in that highly competitive field. Perhaps as a combination comedienne/character actor. Oh what do i know? She's so ambitious that i hate to see her get eaten up by that beast we know as Babylon the Great.
Fubar is an odd place. It use to be Rafters, a sawdust cruise bar that never had anyone inside. They've updated it nicely. And Bruce that black comedy/actor queen is the DJ. He also has been opening up for Margaret Cho.
After the show i went to Astro Burgers with the Bastard Boys and got a bite, and then we trotted back to my Walk of Fame flat. Devin had never been to LA so his eyes lit up at the Chinese Theatre hand prints and seeing all the hoopla that is Hollywood proper on a late sunday evening. The freaks were out that night.
Woke up early and took the boys to breaky at the Pantry. Really enjoying their company. Devin is nice and quiet and unassuming. Very low maintenance kid---i like that. Scotland is a dear, very bright and full of life. I generally like being alone, but having them spend the night and hanging out with them was a nice summer treat.
I really have to put some serious thought into my lady career. I've been having a blast at the Parlour doing Bricktops, but I'm not exactly thrilled with living in such a substandard manner in a tiny box of an apartment. Bill Silva the producer of Margaret Cho's tour said that i need to get myself out of the Ghetto, and that means my ghetto mentality, and perhaps staying in LA all these years is breaking my spirit and not helping me to grow.
My friends in Berlin want me to take advantage of these two artist in residencies that have come my way. One is for two years and provides me with housing and a small stipend and studio space and the other is for an undertermined time and is quite sumpteous in that I'm given housing in yucky posh West of Berlin, in a fancy apt with maid service and the like, and even a personal driver to chauffer me around. Plus tons of resources for creating great new work and also the opportunity to travel to other parts of europe and take specialized classes in print and lace making or ceramics in Italy or Norway with masters of the field and find new ways to incorporate this into my conceptual art projects. I really need to be someplace that takes care of me and i don' t have to worry about $money at all---just create, create, create
Lyle Ashton Harris had one of these artist in residency and so did Charles LeDray, and this would be the perfect thing to get me out of my funk, plus getting the sexual attentions of cute young boys never hurts.
I adore doing Bricktops, but it really is hard work for such a little payoff, and if i'm going to work THAT hard it should be for me ONLY and for my personal growth and ultimate fullfillment. I'm not getting any younger or cuter, and losing my home in Koreatown after all those years really took it toll on me, so much so that i still haven't been able to fully re-couperate from it. maybe the signs are pointing me in a new more profitable direction. We shall see.

Got this little enote from Kari Krome formerly of the Runaways who is living in New York these days. I love Ms. Kari she is an absolute hoot in a half.

anyways, after a very stressfull blackout weekend here in NYC, I was walking
down the street, and what do i see but this funny looking bird all jammed up
in a windowsill. some people are looking at it and its feathers are all
ruffled up and its beak is open and it doesnt look very happy. is it a baby
owl? a hawk? me being a sucker for animals, i reach in and scoop the little
beastie up and hold him tight. i get a dish cloth and we walk to the vets.
the vet wants nothing to do with it, there's electricity and no fluids so
they cant help me. we call the neighborhood bird lady and our cell phones
dont work cause theres still no power. now what do i do?
a woman comes up to me and announces that it is a peregrine falcon. so i
take it home and feed it hotdogs which i break up in lil pieces and shove
down her throat like i see mommy birds do and name the bird Frankie. so
Frankie is eating hotdogs that I put in its beak, and i give Frankie water
from an eyedropper and she sits on the window ledge which is open, but wont
fly away. she flies little distances and sits on her high perches in the
loft and bobs her head up and down when i come home. and generally is good
company. sometimes she makes high pitched "SQWUEEE" noises when she wants my
attention. yesterday when it rained she took a little bath on the ledge and
seemed to be very happy and alert as she cocked her head from side to side
as i talked to her.
i really want to keep her, but Im afraid she may need care that i cant give
her and may die. and she is a predatory bird, she may one day get larger and
eat my roommates cat.
so today i called the raptor society and am making arrangements for her, and
i am not happy in the least bit about it. i want her to stay with me as we
are becoming fast friends and now i know I will miss her.
i will email pictures later
kk
ps--a big rain has come and all the rotting grabage from the blackout is
stinking up the city.

Oh my sweet lordy locasta! Bricktops was more Bricktop then ever! Those wonderful Fishnet Floozys really know how to put on a lovesexy show, and bring in a great gaggle of hot humpy men. Plus my cute Mija who use to work for Rick Owens had his 22nd birthday party and carted in a truckload of silent screen sirens as we celebrated Christopher Isherwood with an "I Am A Camera Cabaret Party".
Cuddly Jewish thrombone Scotland Zeif came into town with with Maurice's Little Bastard, two juicemongrols from Olympia Washington. One is so sizzling he has an NBC TV executive as a suger daddina. They did a short piece where they stripped down and basically performed a live sex act. Cuochy Coo! The mostly hetero crowd loved it, because it just came out of nowhere. All the women were just howling with delight. Girls find male on male action very stimulating in the same way that hetero men fantasize about lesbianas.
Bricktops also attracts some odd celebrities. A Pamela Andersonless Kid Rock, was having a dandy old time and 80s hasbeen C Thomas Howell was macking with some girl and boy, and both of them looked just like Rae Dawn Chong. How did he manage that?
Miss Morgan Olsen made me a new sensational frock, complete with jewels and a tiara, which was perfect for my singing "Yo No Soy Puta, Soy Princessa" which really went over well with the rowdy audience.
I guess i'm going to have to wait till Mon or Tues before i hear about what other celebs came by.
Oh and a correction from last week. I said that Bibbe and Sean brought Ingrid Schichy of the Village Voice to Bricktops. Well they did, but she is not Adrian Brodys mom. Ingrid is a daughter of Bilitis. Adrian's mother is Sylvia Plathy who also works at the Voice, and her Oscar winning son escorted both women to the club, but of course i was drunk and got them all mixed up. My apologies for the confusion caused.
***I guess more people read my blog then i realized.

Saturday-Woke with just a small Bricktops hangover. The weather is still in the upper stratosphere, and its driving me crazy. Went to the tired Arc Light theatre connected to the Cinerama Dome and saw Pretty Dirty Things starring Audrey Tatou and a really cute Afrikan man. The movie is directed by Stephen Frears of my Beautiful Launderette fame and is pretty incredible. I recommend that you see it with someone whose kidney or liver you've paid for.
I especially enjoyed the sassy black hooker character and the Chinese coroner.
I've seen quite a few movies just to escape the heat. Went to the Sunset 5 and caughts Boys Shorts 57. I really wanted to see Swimming Pool with Charlotte Rampling, but i missed the first show and i didn't want to pay full price. Boys Shorts had two nice Ambercrombie pieces of eye candy in one of the vignettes, but in all it was very very TIRED. Oh did i also mention i went and saw American Pie Wedding. Of course AP is my guilty pleasure because of hot jewish ingenue Jason Biggs. He is adorable looking, but having observed him up close and personal on a flight from LA to NYC, I can tell you that he is a bit full of himself in that way young actors get when success hits them early. Lets hope he doesn't wind up all Day of the Locust.

Had a bunch of errands to run so then i wound up at the Parlour on Mario's Hot Dog night to pick up some posters. That cute Mulatto Mount Sims was DJ-ing. The music is soooo loud. I couldn't hear myself fart. Luckily the back room wasn't open yet so Lenny and his Frat Bros Mike from Purdue and i got to escape in the Boydello Lounge.
I really like Mike, so much so i lost track of the time deep in conversation was I. Talking to him reminded me that I've always enjoyed my time in the mid west and found that midwesterners and middle America in general isn't always as conservative as you would think.

I've actually had some of my wildest sex bouts in the mid west. Don't let me get started about those hot ginger twins who ditched their girlfriends for a hot buttered threegy with me. I'm such a bad influence on young white impressionable white boys. I can't believe i made brothers commit homosexual insest just to satisfy my perverted, hedonistic pleasure. Well it wasn't like i put a Ms. 45 to their head. Ha ha ha. Oh I'm a very naughty girl and i will be punished severely for my transgressions.

This week has been tragically hot and sticky. I cannot function well in this kind of weather, so of course i am now worthless to the world.
I'm also unable to sleep. i'm a menace to polite society, and one cranky bitchina. So beware my wrath during the summer months. I can't be held accountable for my actions because I am certifiably insane.

Had to escape the heat by going to Venice Beach. I don't care for the westside and Venice in particular. Its very ugly---hippy dippy style and i really have no patience for it. But the temp was at least 20 degrees cooler so i found solace by watching the self-absorbed frolic on the boardwalk. Venice is filled with every cliche of Southern California---you'd think it was a parody. I thought i was deluded, but the folks in Venice take delusion to new heighty heights.
I especially loved watching this dark skin muscle man do what looked like a form a tai chi with a hack-n-sack ball. He really took himself seriously. What he should have been doing is pimping himself out to the highest bidder. I'd pay him some good money to run my hands all over that honey baked body. I couldn't tell if he was black or latin. Maybe he was some sort of blatino. He had straightish black shiny/wavy hair. His eyes spoke volumes ---that he was basically insane. There was also the honorary mayor of Venice, the towel head man in white playing electric guitar badly. After all the many decades he's been annoying people on the beach you'd think he would have learned a different riff or improved somewhat. But he's been cranking out the same groove since the late 1970s. At least he hasn't aged since then.

I was disapointed that there was no one at Muscle Beach showing off their steroid bodies. There weren't even that many jubas basketball players. Well it was during the work week, and the majority of the crowd was Euro tourists, with their nice pale skin always wearing dark socks or stylish sandles.

Lots of gorgeous young surferkins----of course I'm always invisible to surfers, so cruising them is out of the question. Actually cruising anyone in Venice does you know good, they are far too into themselves to notice.

I sure did get a kick oogling this big black jubas jubilee who sells homemade insense or something like that. His body is one mass of coiled muscle and he is shiny blue black and quite handsome, even though he has thyroid eyes.

I wasn't the only one escaping the inland heat. Every homeless person was also joining the crush. The bus was stinking of them. Thank god the air conditioner was cranked to the maximum. I got to see my favorite homeless tranny who is always wearing high high heels, no matter what. It was like i was stalking her, because later in the evening i ran into her in Weho. Her normal hang is the Beverly Connection where she sits and displays herself right next to the bookstore across from the Starchucks.

Thursday-Daddy Athey took me and his houseguest Phillipe of Montepillier's Chignon Dynasty down to Laguna Beach. Thank god he could find the Gay section. I've never been able to locate it on my own. The Homer Sexual part of 'guna beach is about three miles from the Boom Boom Room once you pass the Albertson's supermarket and across from a Fish Evil taco stand.

There wasn't many people out so we pretty much had the place to ourselves. There were a few 70 lbs raisin titty cha-cha's frolicking, and bumping bush, but only one really hot couple giving each other a romantic frottage in full display of the envious mass of hornpigs, and a lifeguard who seemed thoroughly disgusted by their antics. Where is Sulka when you need her?

Some corporate shmuck who just got laid off was trying to have a hen party with us, i chatted with him and his double D bitch tits for a bit. He was macking on some teenage boy sunning himself with his parents. Of course the kid's folks had no clue they were on Porno beach. The kid who was no older then 15 definately knew, and probably thought himself clever in fooling his parents to take him. He was a cute child, and you could tell that when he turns 18 he'll blossom into a hunky young man.
We had to leave the sands early so we could have a SeaBreeze and Thong cocktail party in honour of M. Phillipe and the artist Marina Rosenfeld, who is now married to a bright young Israeli boy with big hands, big feet and even bigger peni. Her young husband was adorable, and so my type of Hava Nagila.

I wanted to play with his giant nose including mickey mucose and snot. Don't try to understand my odd fetishes.

The cocktail party was scintillating and just the perfect way to end a perfect day. Phillip brought some homemade Frogois and South of France Salami that was delish. I adore Lord Phillip, he's so easygoing and charming with a sexy deep voice and the warmest blue eyes i've seen in ages. He and Crepe Suzette would be perfect for each other. A gorgeous woman like the Crepe, needs to get some from a sophisticated, handsome, well endowed French man who also happens to be European nobility.

As usual Daddy was the perfect host and it was lovely seeing writer Lisa T, her hot big dicked beau Daniel, David of 11 Harrow House, Cyril and Karine of Solano Canyon.
Impromptu parties at the last minute can sometimes be the best.

was looking in the Times Magazine and there was an article by Michele Green who use to be on the 80s TV show LA LAW. Michele went to Fairyfax high school with Fertile La Toyah Jackson and was in their Theatre Arts Program. I saw many a play with Michele as the lead. I think she starred in The Princess and the Pea, and Guys and Dolls opposite Timothy Hutton who was also in their graduating class along with Anthony and Flea of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and that ugly black TV commentator Byron Allen whose real name is Byron Fulkes.
Also there was a garden article showing the Home of Ann Field and her fugly husband Clive Percy. Ann was the stuck-up English designer of Michele Lamy's, Lamy Body line back in the 80s and she also taught at Otis. I never liked her. Of course she has a nice home in Aunt Monica with a yard full of succulents. It just figures that she lives the good life near the beach, while i live in a box.
Last week the Times profiled Nick Taggert and his wife. Nick use to go out with Michi of I Love Ricky. Gawd just live long enough and you'll know everyone being profiled in a magazine.
Speaking of I Love Ricky. Ran into Ricky Castro at lunchtime on Hollywood Blvd Friday. He looks good nice and healthy and chunky but funky. We had a nice pleasant conversation. He said i hadn't changed at all, thats the pot calling the kettle black. Ricky is still the same Ricky. it was great seeing him, we have such a history together. Funny that we never run into each other on the street anymore though we live less then a mile apart now. Well maybe thats for the better.

Bricktops was overflowing with love on Friday. Kitten on the Keys, from San Francisco performed, and she is just the best, so sweet and personable. And she looks just like Clara Bow who we were saluting in true It Girl style. Of course i got drunk and forgot about the It Girl Contest. I'll do it this Friday for Cabaret Nite.
It was wonderful having LA Weekly film editor Ron Stringer hosting a Clara Bow screening room in the boydello back room. Ron is very knowledgeable about everything, so of course it was a delight to have him and his date Melissa Faust in the house. Melissa is just an adorable cutiepie.
Little Jorge was my bathtub gin baby and he is so nice and tiny that he fit perfectly in the tub. Oh and Shannon of the Montrose Hills also performed a rap tap number that had everyone shrieking with delight. Justin Bartha that kid who stars with JLo and Ben "DickPig" Affleck in that sad new movie Gigli was falling head over heals for pretty Shannon. I was also introduced to some handsome writer named Joshua Furst and this gorgeous hunky aussie thespian named Julian McMahon who is on some TV show called Nip/Tuck that must be about plastic surgery. Darren Stein, the Jawbreaker director who has this new movie that is making the festival circuit and getting raves was also running about with a hot well endowed Brazilian and some equally stacked latinos. That Darren is everything i like in a Jewish man. I'd sure like to eat his hole out. I'd spend hours just slobbering and decorating it in love. The rock star quotient was Sune Rose Wagner and Sharrin Foo of Denmark's Raveonettes. i love scandanavians.
I should get the lo down on everyone else who was there by Monday or Tuesday. I need to wear my glasses so i can recognize people.
The heat wave continues. Its very unpleasant. Went to the tired Arclight to escape the heat and saw the film Le Divorce with Kate Hudson. It was a nice cute diversion. Nothing deep. Some attractive young french boys. one in particular i remember coming to Bricktops a few weeks ago. He's hotter in person then he photographs. i don't remember his name.
Crepe Suzette organized a bunch of us going to The Hollywood Forever Cemetary screening of the Spiral Staircase starring Dorothy McGuire and a dagger doodle Ethel Barrymore. What an event. Saw so many people i knew like Bryan Rabin and Seven McDonald, plus lots of hot hunky boys. It was wonderful being amidst the corpses and tomb stones. Daddy Athey made delicious steak and chicken sandwiches. I felt stupid forgetting to bring some vino.
Lots of cute boys abounded. Some of the boys were a little too precious, but that didn't matter. Our group included Dave Harrow who i just collaborated on a music project that will soon be released in England and Cyril and Karen and Jim of Animal Charm, the great Udo Kier and some Palm Springs mid century furniture couple consisting of a cute young latino and an older ginger headed ex Catalina Video Porno star. Oh the life i lead.
Afterwards me and Daddykins Athey stayed up to past midnight chit chatting and gossiping, then i left and was walking down Sanborn Hill to Sunset to take the autobus back home when i got cruised and picked up by some little funny looking man from New York who was renting a $1500 one bedroom apartment. I think he was scared of me, so he didn't invite me inside but took me to the rooftop which was better because it was still very warm and it was exciting getting off in the cool night air. This dimunitive man was nothing to write home to grandma about, but i was hornpiggy and he basically serviced "The Doll" so a fun time was had by this ladykins, though it took forever to get home by bus. Ran into little Brian Baltin trolling Le Barcito for drunken tricks to molest. Sweet thing.

Got this note from Professor Jennifer Doyle who is still in the South of France. She won't be back till September. god bless her.

***
Hey sweetie,

your weekly run-downs of bricktops are the only thing that make me
wish i was home!

next time you see one of the hansen boys, pass on my number. i need
a skinny floppy haired husband for when i get back.

i'm staying here longer - it's good for my work, i'm making steady
progress and so, alas, won't return to LA until sept. 11th.

but god knows when i do get back i'm going to be down for any
adventure we can dream up!

so, who's been dj'ing in my absence? how is it going at bricktops?
I hate that i missed the I VANT TO BE ALONE night.

Not much to report here -

It's of course the big heat wave - so nobody has any clothes on.

I'm still having the affair with uncle (which is really, technically
an affair since he never broke up with girlfirend - he lied about his
status knowing I'd never knowingly go to bed with an
as-good-as-married man!).

But when I got back from venice he was apparently so torn up with
guilt about lying to dear ole me that he fessed up. He was sure, I
guess, that I'd cry or get angry something. But of course I laughed
- having just come off my night of venitian debauchery I hardly cared
whether or not he was attached.

But it freed me up a bit to enjoy other side projects without guilt
(Luderic, from Lyon, who I played with one afternoon - nothing great
to report there, really).

Honestly, I've been withdrawing a bit of late, though, focusing on
work and a friend who is visiting.

Plus, a real scene was emerging on the street in front of my house
here - with every horny boy in town knocking on my door, leaving me
presents, trying to coax me out of the house. I think I'm the only
single woman over 15 within a day's drive.

The only promise I made to myself is to go for the 20 year old Johan
whom I've long adored - just once before I leave just to see what
might happen. I want to deflower him.

So, that's all - please report on life there...

Missing you as always,

xxoo

Jennifer

hung out with my good girlfriend named Myrtle, the Gyrtle. Miss M works for a limo company as a driver. She told me some hot gossip concerning dorky TV and movie star Jamie Kennedy. She went to pick him up one morning at his house on Fairfax between Hollywood and Sunset and who pops out with him but Paris Hilton, one of those Hilton sisters who go to the opening of a bag of potato chips. She was just wearing a T-shirt and a thong, and it was obvious she had spent the night getting throttled. Jamie shyly explained he had a pajama party. Yeah a Victoria's Secret Pajama Party. Well you go dude. You'll only be young and successful once in this life so taste all the prunes.
Took Cesar Vega to birthday breaky at Pacific Dining Car. Cesar is soooo sweet. What a nice, otter of a boy he is. Too bad he doesn't realize that hanging out with me will only bring him madness or death.
2nite going to tired Spaceland to see Alice Bag's new band Stay at Home Bomb. I'd love it if they re-named themselves Bombshell. Can't wait to see them, they are getting quite a following.

This just in from Glenn Belverio, my sister of the cloth and global editrix fashion guru. She is in China for a month guest editing for East/West. Enjoy her observations are always spot on.

Shanghai 06.08.03
I returned from Henan Province in central China where Shaolin Temple is located (near the town of Deng Feng) last night and now I’m back in Shanghai. All the rooms at my beloved 5 star hotel are booked solid (as are all the good hotels in my hosts’ ‘hood) so I’ve been booked into a “service apartment” with no internet connection, a stove that fills the small room with smoke when used, and a sliver of a window with a depressing view of a construction site…..I feel like I’m back in the East Village but at least there I have a bigger window. Now I’m in some restaurant trying to order lunch with minimal success (no one speaks English at any of the restaurants) because I forgot to bring my Mandarin phrase book. I’m having what a hip ex-pat I met last week calls “a bad China day”.

Three days ago I set off for Deng Feng in Henan province with Matthew, our photographer from Paris via South Africa, to visit the famed Shaolin Temple which lies at the foot of beautiful Shaoshin mountain. We were greeted at the airport by our guide and translator, Mr. Zhang (his English name is John) and our driver. The drive to the hotel was a long journey past stretches of corn fields guarded by ‘Phoenix’ trees (Phoenixes were said to once roost in them and their function is to protect the crops from the elements), rows of humble wooden shacks and low cement pagoda-roofed buildings, caves (yes, caves) containing peasant cave dwellers and of course hundreds of farmer families whose naked children frolicked in the mud along the road. It was a far cry from quasi-cosmopolitan Shanghai, even Shanghai’s slummy neighborhoods. Excited by these rustic tableaus of round-faced farmers and their children, Matthew repeatedly yelled to the driver so he could stop and snap a shot of a father cradling his child in his arms or an elderly man – his leathery face a complex road map of intricate lines and wrinkles – struggling to pull a heavy cart of hay or wood. At first I cringed at the exploitative aspect of the situation, but most of the peasants reacted with broad, warm smiles (even the old man struggling to pull the cart!) and rabid curiosity. Soon we came to a larger highway and as our driver sped up I noticed with some alarm the Chinese’ unique style of driving: no one paid attention to the highway’s designated lanes and everyone swerved in and out of them and around and toward each other’s vehicles in a motorized ballet of chaos that was a backseat driver’s worst nightmare. In America, teenagers are known to play a game called ‘chicken’ where two cars drive toward each other until one chickens out and turns off the road. In China, the game of ‘chicken’ is called ‘driving’ – a series of endless, potential head-on collisions that somehow get you to your destination in one piece. Throw in the added fun of bicyclists who never, ever get out of the way even when a car horn is blown up their asses and the occassional errant herd of cows and you have a ride that is never boring. Wheeeeeee, indeed. Eventually we hit a traffic jam, and our driver turned off onto a dirt road, if you could even call it a road, and we bumped along through the hills past more caves and ramshackle stores and gas stations. (Amidst all this poor, simple life there were still billboard ads hawking noodles and soft drinks). After what seemed like an hour of dune buggy style driving we came upon a wide, newly paved highway lined with workers who looked more like chain gang members as they sledgehammered rocks while wearing prison-like work uniforms. The highway is being built by the government to enable easier transport for tourists who wish to visit Shaolin Temple. In fact, the government is pouring a lot of money into this area as part of a facelift to prepare for the 2008 Olympics, a time when many eyes will be turned not just on the Games, but on “modern” China itself as well. We sped along on this pristine new road only to reach an abrupt, disappointing end where the pavements gave way to more dirt and boulders. Finally we made it to our creepy, deserted “4 star” hotel in Deng Feng (we’ll get to that later) that, with its natty pagoda-style roof and large, empty chambers, was like a Chinese version of the hotel in The Shining. We dropped off our bags and set off immediately for Shaolin Temple. Shaolin Temple is a large area that consists of thirty kung fu schools where thousands upon thousands of Chinese students aged between 6 and 18 are in residence (there are some older students between 19 and 21. And of course there are the hip Westerners who come to learn kung fu and “find themselves”…or rather there were. In April, the 30 or 40 French and Belgian 20-somethings fled back to Europe at the first report of SARS. Chicken shits. It should be noted that there has not been one reported case of SARS in Henan province.) The first school we visited, the Shaolin Arts Martial Arts School Tagou (Tagou is the name of the area where Shaolin Temple and the school are) is the largest in the area: 10,000 students (400 of them are girls). As we entered the large front yard of the school, hundreds of boys were lined up in squadrons as instructors yelled orders at them. The boys, in little red uniforms, were jumping, thrusting, and yelling in unison but when they spotted the two tall, alien-looking Westerners in their midst, scores of them stopped – in mid-karate chop, yet – to yell “HELLO!” and flash cherubic smiles. We wandered into the dormitory area where some of the boys were engaged in armed combat, brandishing wide swords, whips (called ‘whispers’ or bians) and chains, their shirtless, lean, hard torsos resembling those of stealthy young jungle cats. There were times in fact when we were surround by a sea of perfect, lean, tight young bodies that put all of those Western (Hollywood) yoga-and- pilates-bodies-in-a-room-full-of-hotties to utter shame. As we pulled out our cameras, the boys feigned shyness and scampered away, only to return in groups of 3 or 4 and snap into a perfect kung fu mise-en-scene with weapons or limbs brandished with stylish perfection. In other words these boys know they are hot shit and they love to show it off. And as the camera flashed, they changed poses for each picture with more professionalism and panache than a top super model.
To be cont.....

my time at the LA Weekly every friday is coming to an end. I'm surprised i lasted this long. I was just supposed to take Ron Athey's place when he went on tour 5 years ago and somehow that wound up being a temporary permanent thing. It has been fun here and there, but i don't like having to be anyplace every week. Especially with Bricktops on Friday, i'd like to have that time to prepare for the club and not be all frantic and exhausted by showtime. I'll still be contributing to the Weekly writing here and there, but i just won't be in the office on a regular basis any more. Don't know when my official last Friday will be. Maybe at the end of this month or maybe sooner or perhaps later.

Got this email from Judy LaBruce. She is the best!

hi Vaginal. oh boy, what a life. marital bliss ain’t what it’s cracked up to be, let me be the first to inform you. the muslim has gone off the tracks again and has sent me into a spirulina. it usually happens about once a year. visions of angels, apocalyptic prognostications, fisticuffs, fire and brimstone. and that’s just during foreplay. how did i end up with a closeted bi-polar fundamentalist Muslim anyhow? i must be a closeted bi-polar fundamentalist Muslim magnet. sure, he has approximately the same number of distinct personalities as Sybill at the best of times, but the important thing is that I like all of them. it’s like dating the King family. (how’s that for an outdated reference). but this one personality that emerges annually, I tell you, is a real jerk. I don’t know. is there any future with a closeted bi-polar fundamentalist Muslim? i’m having serious doubts. this weekend was a disaster. i can’t go into the last detail, but i’ll give you a sampling. he’s driving on the freeway in his car and suddenly he feels himself detaching from his body. he doesn’t think he can control the car so he exits and continues to drive to my place through the city. when he goes into this fugued state he’s usually two to three hours late anyway. when he finally arrives he’s high on pot and shaking like a Leif Garret. he tells me he thinks he’s dead. this i can relate to. i feel like i’m dead a lot of the time too, and after fainting and hitting my head on the side of the bathtub in january, i almost believe that i did die and everything since than has been a vivid dream of the living dead. i calm him down and we go out for a nice meal, and once we’re home we get into bed and start to watch the Omega Man which i’ve rented because i figure it’s a good movie for a dead person to watch. he falls asleep for an hour but his drug dealer calls so he gets dressed and disappears for an hour. meantime i’ve fallen asleep – it’s almost 4am. when he gets back into bed he wants to have sex, but i’m asleep and not in the mood. so he leaves because he’s taken a hit of E. the next day he tells me that he met the archangel Michael who told him that the world is going to end soon. how he then tried to pick up a guy on the street who turned out to be a hustler who got mad at him and kicked him in the head so he beat up the poor boy. then he tried to pick up a female hooker in a park and he almost got kicked in the head again. now today he’s talking about an arranged marriage with a female doctor divorcee that his family is trying to set him up with. honestly, this only happens once a year, but it makes me realize that it doesn’t bode well for long-term marital bliss. but then, why should i expect that anyway? most of the time he’s a normal, sweet-natured, loving man, so i guess i should just take it day by day day by day oh dear allah three things i pray. anyway, the reason i’m writing is to ask you what was the name of that kooky Hawaiin dyke that was doing the make up in my horn doggy room? please inform. how was your weekend. x blab

Had breaky with pretty Louise of the LA Times. We met at Tropical. She had never been there, and it was great introducing a legendary spot to a Los Ang newcomer. I really like Louise. She has that no-nonsence euro quality that i adore in people and she is a great beauty as well with the most amazing face, warm and open. She is way too smart for a town like this. And she loves to drink. I loved hearing about Danish Royalty. She told me that the queen of Denmark is my height and in her 50s, she married a big dicked Frenchcommoner, and recently was at a summit where Fidel Castro sat right to her side in his army fatigues. How how is that. The Queen of Denmark seems much more interesting then olde Bessie of Merry ole England. The Queen of Den has a hot son, the Crown Prince Frederick who is a strapping ginger head with a big butt and giant willisaurus. She has a younger boy who married a hong kong lady. Something tells me that the crown prince and i are meant to be an item, and i'm going to wind up Vaginal I of Denmark. Hey why shouldn't i marry into royalty? Its my destiny.
Willie Banta and his gorgeous wife Miriam Jacobsen came by my pad and put me up a nice big shelf in my closet. Boy do i need the extra shelving. They also took me out to a scrumpteous meal at the Pig n Whistle on Hollywood Blvd. They wanted to go to Musso and Franks, but its closed on Sundays. I had always wanted to go to The Pig since its a Hollywood Landmark from the 20s that was closed in the 50s and was brought back with the renovation of the adjacent Egyptian Theatre. I loved the food, delish, but they need to get rid of that big screen TV and all the other tiny monitors. I don't want to eat in a tired Sports bar. One of the reasons why i never went in was all the icky people you'd see eating there from the outside looking in. Tired trash with cell phones. But at the time we went we had the place all to ourselves which is how i like it. I'm getting more reclusive as i get older, very much like my mother, i find myself not having any desire to be around many people. Such is the life of a lady like myself.
Oh i was housesitting for Da Da Athey and cooked up a meal for Shauna Leone. We had a great time just having a girlish gagfest. She is such a sweet child.

Had a long conversation via phone with my good friend Sanchi who lives in New York and got a job working for mediatrix Martha Stewart. He loves his new position, and adores his new boss. He gets goose bumps running into her in the hall and just being in her strong womanly presence is a thrill. He sez that she is ALL business, and a true professional with an amazing work ethic. I believe him. I'm a big fan of "The Martha" I wish i was a strapping, rich white lady. Her life is really glamorous and exciting filled with non stop drama and covuglability. Sanchi also was able to go to her farm for a big retreat, and they had a million types of bar b que and games and an open bar. Now thats the way to run a business. The govn't better stop harrassing "The Martha" or they will have to deal with the Fist of Ms. Davis, and I'm sure they don't want a giant, crazy, no holds barr, black drag queen powerhouse on their case. No sirree.
I hope Sanchi gets to come to LA and visit. He is so smart, funny and wise. His observations about people and things are always spot on. I've known him since he was a college coed, and now he's in his early 30's and just gets better and better looking with that dashing Puerto Rican/Dutch mixture running through his spicy veins.

Last night was Greta Garbo I Vant to be Alone Night at Bricktops my roaring 20s club. Every week Bricktops is different with a revolving door of characters and lunacy. This week two sexy boys dressed as sailors and their girlfriends came by and were they ever a frisky bunch. Really fun loving and mad cap. Just the type of people i like to come to my parties. Sometimes you forget that LA does have some really irreverent people living here, who live life with gusto and don't follow the herd mentality. I guess thats what keeps me living here. I have a love/hate relationship with my city of birth.
A juicy young latin couple came up to me at the DJ booth singing my praises. They saw me open up for Siouxie and the Banchees last year. I love it when someone tracks me down. These cute kids were just adorable, and were parading some hot boy and girl cleavage. Isn't that dear?
Bibbe Hansen and Sean Carrillo came by the club with their talented sons Channing and Beck plus Sean's look-alike nephew Scully. Channing fell in love with Mr. Uncertain, and has a huge crush on him. I could see Mr. Uncertain having a nice buttery threegy with Chann and his lovely Moca arts administrator wife. Everyone loves Mr. Uncertain. He is emerging as an bona fide "It Boy". Well nothing warms my soul more than discovering hot talent. I'm so grateful to Michele Carr of the Velvet Hammer for hooking me up with Mr. Un. That Michele is pure genius. She came by the club and was looking so deliriously sextina! Ms. Selene, my doorlady was also giving some Greta Garbo realness and doorboy Richard cleans up nicely. He really does have matinee idol looks. I have to put him in a movie. Was introduced to this kid named Adam Green who is the leader of some Anti folk group called The Moldy Peaches. He wanted a copy of my DJ playlist. I don't know who else of note was at the club. I'll probably get an email from someone telling who was there. I'm so blind that without my glasses someone has to be right on top of me for me to recognize them. Ha ha. 2nite i'm house sitting for daddy athey who is hightailing out to the high desert to hang with Udo Kier. He has left me a lot of food in his duplex so i'm going to have Frank Rodriguez and his boyfriend P and Shauna Leone over for dinn. I haven't cooked a meal for anyone in ages, and daddy gave me this recipe i'm dying to try.

I predict that Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras is going to be a mega star. His CD the Smell of Our own is the record of the year so-far. It could be the recording to define the new millinea. I love every song and I play them over and over again. They are now becoming my personal anthems. "Smells Like Happiness" says it all the way nothing can. Its a condemnation of "the gays" but its not shrill its plaintive,

"happy are we when we choose to wear the blindfold
and mark our own day with a parade and a song"

Joel does have a golden bone, and a golden bum. He’s exquisitely beautiful. The best things to ever come out of Canuck, I’m convinced.

Heard a sad tale about a friend whose drug abuse led him to the utter depths of the 90th floor. This queen was a popular hairdresser and was married to a dot.com magnate living in a house up in the high rolling hollywood hills, well he and his husb divorced and he slimmed down and started up on drugs and going to tired circuit parties and got a much younger beau and just became a circuit diva. He had a house in the silverlake, wound up selling it for more drugs and ended up living in his car, which I think is now broken so he’s completely homeless or couch surfing. Let this be a cautionary tale. Sometimes I wish I could be a drug addict, but I’m too much of a control queen to completely lose it in that fashion. I’m sure I can think of other ways to avoid reality, but MY reality is so REAL its SURREAL. So I think I’ll stick to legal substances like liquor.

Finally got to go to Clubb Chubb, Selene’ Luna of the Velvet Hammer Heritage Review and Alex’ Sunday afternoon beerbust tribute to jelly’s, chubbs and their chasers, otters, cubs, bears, bronto’s, mastadons, manatees, walrus’, whales, buffalo’s and bison. I had a great time. Too bad William Conrad isn’t alive to enjoy the spectacle. But that plus sized rapper/actor Heavy D. was digging the action and also Fat Joe. Are they lovers?
Alex dj’s a great selection of free style music, and it was wonderful being in a club where I’m literally the smallest bloke. There is even a nice group of substance sized women in the mix. Club Chubb which is at the Parlour Club every other Sunday from 3-7pm is the direction for nite life in the future.
Received Pansy Division’s new CD Total Entertainment. They’ve definitely gotten a lot better. The production by Chris Xefox is really textured and sparkly. Their years of being relentless and just putting it out there, has certainly paid off. The singing has really improved too. Perhaps if they continue in this direction in a few more albums they’ll have a record that be an artistic breakthrough in all directions.

One of my favorite directors of all time died, John Schlissinger. He had been ill for at least three years. His lover is the Hollywood photographer Michael Childers. Who took pics of me and Ron Athey in his latest book. I got to meet Mr. Schless at that time and it was a thrill. Mr. Schless and Mr. Childers were known for their very kinka-saurus parties of the late 70s to mid 80s. In fact Ms. Thomatha Cruise himself use to partake in some wild shenanigans in his younger hungrier days before becoming the ultimate Hollywood power critch, as well as ultra guarded with his sacred movie image.
My favs Schless flicks: Far From the Madding Crowd, Darling, Midnight Cowboy, The Day of the Locust, Sunday, Bloody Sunday and A Kind of Loving. Too bad he died with that awful Madonna/Rupert Everett film being his last. It was the movie that killed him.

Cesar Vega took me to lunch at that Luna Sol place on 6th Street across from MacArthur Park, The Park Plaza and below the Ashbury. I didn’t really want eat at Luna, because the place has a creepy hippy dippy vibe being that its v eg etarian and the dreadlocked black man that works behind the counter has such dirty fingernails, it doesn’t seem like he ever washes his hands or takes a bath. For this very reason I haven’t been to the place since around December. There was this Asian or latin girl behind the counter as well and she was not featuring me and Cesar for whatever reason. I guess she couldn’t decipher the nature of our relationship and it was too disturbing for her. I have that kind of affect on people.
My eggplant sandwich was tasty though. I love hanging with Mr. V. He is so laid back and relaxed, a very low key and low maintenance dude. Later in the evening I wound up going with Lenny the young elder bar scouting. I guess he wants to buy another cantina. We went to Primetime on Santa Monica at Western. PT use to be the gay bar Uncle Bill’s. But I don’t know if its gay now. The bartenders are all Vietnamese women, and there are hardly ever any customers. But they do have a nice parking lot in the back. Last time i was at this bar was when Prof. Jose Munoz of NYU had a birthday party.
We also checked out Hank & Frank’s where I had one of my birthday parties several years ago. The place still has that awful florescent lighting. The owner is some old black dancer who use to hang out with Sammy Davis Jr. Maybe he was one of Sammy’s lovers. Sammy did get around.

Took Cesar as my date to the screening of the Spanish musical comedy El Otro lado de la Cama (The Other Side of the Bed). The film started off really good, sortof like the Umbrellas of Cherbourg, but then it got a little tedious with the dance moves being very Twyla Tharp lite. I wish they showed lead actor Ernesto Alterio’s naked booty more. That would have been a much nicer diversion. Before the flick started we went to the Bev and Robertson Starbucks on Designer Row. Boy has this area changed since the 1970s when it was a street cruisers paradise. Academy award winning star Adrian Brody was walking past and I could have sworn he gave me the eye. He sure is one skinny minny. He looks like a Dr. Mengele victim. These young actor manchilds are worse then the bony ladies with their brittle Anna and Mia bodies and big lolipop heads.

Had an early afternoon date with a secret admirer who took me to the Sunset 5 Theatre to see the movie Camp. Ran into Adrian Brody AGAIN. He was eating outside of this restaurant on Sunset and Fairfax called The Griddle. He was with some blondine that looked like his boyfriend, and again he caught my eye and gave me a soulful nod. I hope I’m not just imagining things. Adrian Brody please stop stalking me. You have an Oscar what do you need a tranny for? After the flicker we went to Greenblatts for some bodacious bagle and Lox. Yummy! Who did i see again but Adrian Brody. He actually came up to me and introduced himself, and asked did he know me? I said no, and gave him a flier for Bricktops, wonder if he'll come? Probably not.
The Camp movie was cute. Not that deep, but some charming young performers who were very nice on the eye. Its sort of like a Fame update. They should have went more the All That Jazz route.

Lilli Marlene you are the dream. My Marlene Deitrich evening at Bricktops was brilliantina! I really had a wonderful time and it was inspiring to see so many people dressed, dressed and then dressed. My clubnite certainly ups the anti when it comes to an evening on the town. Well its the conceptualist in me, that can never be fully contained. Richard Velasco let me wear this sequined gown he designed on the bias cut. Talk about form fitting, it was like I was sewn into it and propped on stage. Just like Marlene back in the day. Dick also let me borrow some Harry Winston jewels from his collection. I felt nervous with all that ice, like I needed a bodyguard or something. I hardly ever wear jewelry in or out of drag. Our special guest performer was Lola Tawdry the great great granddaughter of Marlene Deitrich who came all the way from Berlin to sing "Falling in Love Again" She looked spectacular and really wowed the crowd. The partygoers included The delicious Poubelle Twins, Michelle Carr of the Velvet Hammer, deathrock icon David J of Bauhaus, cute and cuddly Michael Kenny, the director of Klasky Cheapo’s Ruggratts Movie, Nora of the Centimeters with actor Romain Daris of the new Kate Hudson film Le Divorce, Mexican soap opera studkin and star of the sexy foreign offering "Lucia, Lucia"--- Kuno Becker who was part of gifted NYC writer Nicole Blackman posse , and a very chubby and sweet mannered Stephen Baldwin youngest member of the famous Baldwin clan who said that seeing Mr. Uncertain sing was better than the pizza pie he had eaten at Mulberry Street Pizzaria in Bev Hills earlier in the eve, he was with some interscope Records honcho’s who didn’t quite understand the 1920s goings on and felt just a wee bit out of their elementa. I have to give special props to Don and Augusta for creating the visual spendor of a proper Marlene installation with their gorgeous array of rare posters and memorabilla plus the giveaway feather boas, garter belts with Bricktop emblazened on them and post cards. Augusta even had the gorilla outfit from the Hot VooDoo/Blue Angel number. Yowzina!!!! It was just the perfect evening. My spies will give me a fuller account of who was there later in the week, so stay tuned to this blog for more detailas, ok?
Mr. Uncertain got so drunk at Bricky's that he had to sleep over at Lord Andrew of Gould's Harper Avenue compound. In the morning Lenny the young elder treated us both to a nice breaky at Hugo's. And Mr. Uncertain had heads spinning as he came into the eatery in his dandy attire.

Andrew of Gould and I took visiting dignitary Joel Gibb of Toronto’s hot new band The Hidden Cameras to Laguna Beach. We drove the long way down Pacific Coast Highway and stopped for eats in Huntington Beach. I forgot just how beachy HB is. Lots of hot young powerfully built surfer dudes. All that swimming in the ocean depths sure produces muscle bodies that glimmer in a way that gay gym rabbits just can’t reproduce. Being in HB also reminded me how out of the loop of the mainstream world I am. I have no affinity for the beach or the so-called "Southern California Lifestyle" of surf, sun and the like . . . I am truly a creature of my own construct. Andrew and Joel also looked out of place. Andrew is British and has the whitest, milkiest skin I’ve ever seen. Joel is almost as pale and was wearing cargo shorts, wallabees, a pink shirt and a thick blue madrigal tie. I adore Canucks. They are crazed perfection in a way Americans can't even contemplate.

Thank god it was an overcast day. I cannot stand being in the sun. Once we got to Laguna Beach proper I couldn’t remember how to find the gay beach. Leave it to me to not be able to connect with "The Gays" . I hardly ever go to the beach, and when I do go its maybe twice a year if that with my production designer friend Jose Montana and since I don’t drive I hardly pay attention to landmarks, and the gay beach in Laguna is a little off the beaten path. We wound up laying down in an area near The Boom Boom Room with all these blondine families. It was icky. We made one more attempt to find the gay beach and even asked directions as the porno room across the street from the Boom Boom and their adjoining sex motel, but still couldn’t find the homo sands. Just as well, we settled on a stretch of beach that was extremely private, with the only eye candy being a lanky morose life guard. We still had a good time and driving back we ate in "J" town at the Japa diner Sahiro and saw the most gorgeous boy eating alone. The kid was certainly a treat to behold. Because of traffic I missed going to see my former LA Weekly colleague Donnell Alexander read from his new book Ghetto Celebrity at Book Soup. I’ll have to catch him the next time.
Went to writer Lisa Teasley’s birthday dinner at her lush Laurel Canyon home. I love her Panama Haiti mom Vi and sister Laura who I turned into a performer by becoming "Mack Mama" at Spicy Beef Curtains. It was great seeing Ms. Kateri Butler and her man Brendan Mullen, and Henry Peck who Ron Athey and I hardly get a chance to hang out with anymore. Of course the conversation eventually turned to talk of James Frankenstone and Joseph Louise Brooks who is Henry’s ex. I guess Frankenstone is continuing his slide into the abyss. The poor boy. I remember when he was a gawky trendy teen from Arcadia just happy to be someplace. LA and the clubworld has totally destroyed him, along with a nasty Crystal Meth addiction. I’ve had my bone of contention with him over the years mainly because he’s so cheap and as a club promoter doesn’t like paying performers, but he’s paid for his sins against me, and others three times over so I really hold no anamosity towards him. But Joseph Brooks is another story. He’s an equally stingy club promoter when it comes to paying performers and that is a pet peeve of mine, but he’s been angry at me for a few years because I called him out in print about his cheap ways and youth culture vulturism. When he was the king of LA underground clubs the true visionary behind his kingdom was his lover Henry. Joseph does have good taste in music, and he is extremely good looking---I’ll graciously give him that, and now he has a wealthy boyfriend and lives a comfortable lifestyle, while i live hand-to-mouth. Joseph even grifted his way into becoming the artistic director(i use the word artistic lightly) at the Key Club on the Sunset Strip, that use to be Gazzarri’s. But he’s still holding a grudge against me because I think he feels that I had something to do with an article in Index Mag about him getting killed. I was an editor at Index, but I didn’t have that much power. Steve La Freniere wrote the piece and enjoyed his interview with Joseph. I didn’t even bad mouth him to Steve, which I could have easily done, but I felt it wasn’t my place. Steve even asked me if he should interview Joseph and I told him that he would make a good interviewee. But Joseph tried to get me kicked off of the bill opening up for Siouxie and the Banshees and even bad mouthed me to my record company. I’m on the same label as Siouxie. Well his mechanations backfired because it made Siouxie and Budgie like me even more and I actually went over quite well performing for their crowd. Joseph would hate it if he knew that I also got a publishing deal through Universal Music. But even though he bares nothing but ill will towards me and wants me to falter, I actually don’t wish him any harm. I’m sure his own Karma will do him in without me putting him on my Madame Mau list of people that I will eventually destroy. He's a bad egg but not that bad---just annoying.
One person who is certainly on my madame Mao list is Roberta who use to be the Operations Mgr at Outfest. She purposely tried to sabotage Platinum Oasis last year by getting an inferior sound system for the event when a top of the line system for the Conga Room had already been secured, she was angry that Ron blew up at her at a last minute meeting at Eat Well. I believe it was then that she decided to get even and try and ruin Platinum Oasis. So it may take me 30 years but Roberta will not survive my wrath. I’m also upset with Shari who allowed Roberta to have so much power in the first place. From the beginning i was wary about working with an organization like Outfest. They are just too L7.

Both years Ron and I did Platinum Oasis, aspects of the event were diminished by Roberta and Shari was the enabler. Of course Shari is completely unaware that she is guilty of major wrongdoing. I think that in her subconscience Shari’s ego was a bit bruised that the two Platinum Oasis’ became the Ron Athey and Vaginal Davis show. That is why this year she basically orchestrated the event, calling it Platinum Snapmeat. Which has to be the worst title i have ever heard, and making the thrust more Cyber Punk Lesbiana. I’m glad she took over the event, because now she knows just what it takes to do live art as opposed to programming movies. From all accounts told to me the Platinum Snapmeat was pretty mediocre, but so is Outfest, thats why its best that they stick to the status quo and Ron and I will go elsewhere where our talents and creative imput is better appreciated.
Oh in that same note: My assistant emailed me this letter from one disgruntled patron of Platinum Snapmeat:

Vag all I want to say is that you were sorely missed at this year's Platinum event. To put it mildly, it SUCKED GIANT DONKEY DICK (and not in a good way).

I don't think I'm alone when I say that it was on the buzz/word of mouth of the last two Platinum events that brought the crowds into this year's SnapMeat. We were lured into going by the naive notion that this year's event would keep in the Vag Davis/Ron Athy spirit. Alas, we were misguided.

2003 Platinum was an unmitigated disaster from beginning to end. The SnapMeat concept was utterly confusing; the verbose 2-page rule book was of no help (the 3 volunteers I questioned, couldn't explain it because they weren't quite sure themselves of what was going on). The entire event was poorly organized (they ran out of booze around 11:30 and refused to give booze ticket holders our money back!) And did I mentioned it was stupefying BORING??? People wandered around looking for something to do. Few danced due to the bad NRG WeHo crap circuit music. And for the most part the installations were flat, uninteresting and lacked originality. Unlike your past events, SnapMeat had virtually no interactive aspects. Worse of all, the entire event was devoid of the sexy energy you created two years running at the Coral Sands!!!!

Not surprisingly, me and my gaggle of gays couldn't get out of there faster. We weren't alone... as we exited the Ambassador, another large crowd of exiting attendees were warning incoming to save their money and not go in! (Side note: The Ambassador Hotel's history and/or legends played no part whatsoever in this event. SnapMeat as conceptualized and executed could have taken place in just about any Ralph's Supermarket parking lot. To tease us with this beguiling landmark and not use it was just plain cruel.) Pity, a lost opportunity.

Anywhoooooo, we're all hoping that you come back and take helm of this event next year. Thanks for all you've done!


Sincerely,

Ali R.


Remember a few days ago I mentioned that a gay activist in New York didn’t appreciate my essay on Gay Marriage that was part of the LA Weekly cover package. Well said activisist Jay Blotcher sent me a little emug to reiterate his concerns. I remit it for your discerning eye:

cherished vag

remember the childhood game called telephone -- where people would whisper a
message down the line?

when it got to the last person, we found out how mangled the original
message had become? and laughed and laughed?

well -- i wanted to respond to your blog item about me

granted, it came to you through our dear glenn belverio

but it lost oodles in the translation a la "telephone"

allow me to explain what needled me about your LA Weekly essay

you were invoking the name of genet to justify your stance against marriage

well - sheesh -- let's talk apples vs oranges, eh?

genet, like most staggering geniuses and sexual obsessives, was one of the
most selfish people on earth

he treated his grand black men like sexual totems. like picasso, his many
romances had very little to do with love or consistency or kindness

so - how could marriage even be on his wavelength? it went against all he
held dear (himself, for one)

the institution of marriage requires mutual respect and gentility and a
downsized ego to make it work

it would NEVER work for him nor for picasso nor for any other number of
renegades

not because they were above it -- but because they could not focus long
enough to care about another person deeply enough

(or because they were too interested in where their next piece of cock/pussy
was coming from)

you pointed out, as well, that marriage would not work for the peripatetic
vag and her voracious sexual appetite

well, sweetie-pie -- as you may not know: marriage is really not about
sex... nor monogamy, officially

marriage is an arrangement that can exist outside of a sexual vibe

or exist hand in hand with a lot of sex on the outside

but so few marriages maintain sex

in your essay, you belittle marriage as a bougie construct

but when you consider the legal benefits -- it is not something to dismiss
with a sneer

and when all is said and done, even if you accuse gay men of little
imagination if they want to marry -- why spit on the whole concept just to
pump your own self-worth? or labruce's?

i just thought your column was more glib than edifying -- more dismissive
than constructive

one can certainly argue that all licenses and legal matters should be
consigned to the dustheap

in fact, so did the Gay Liberation Front in NYC and LA in the 70s

but you know what? -- they self-destructed, alas

and what rose in their stead were gay groups aimed at working within the
system for inclusion

i will be the first to tell you hat i am dismayed by the capitalistic,
conservative bent of most (middle- and upper-middle) class gays these days

ugh - gays in the military. gay merchandising. gay moneymakers

but marriage is chiefly about love - and perhaps a measure of financial
security and certainly legal rights

it is simply too easy to sneer at it; the matter is far more compelling

thanks for hearing me out

jay blotcher
former activist queen
now happily ensconced in high falls, new york
with my husband, brook garrett
(officially married oct 2000 in VT)


Had a glorious dinner at Richard Velasco’s lovely compound on Hayworth Street in West Hollywood. Dick lives in a beautiful 20’s deco apartment that is beyond compare. I’ve known Mr. V. forever. He use to do the display production design for Fiorucci’s in Bev Hills and also Maxfield’s where he created his legend. He is also an incredible stylist, make-up, hair and costume designer. There is nothing he can’t do. We had a wonderful time reminiscing about 25 years of LA history. He even has a cute little dog named Moses. I’m going to have Dickie do some installations at Bricktop’s. the world needs to rediscover his genius.

what a week i've had. been somewhat irritable because of all the miami beach like humidity. i hope its not like this the whole summer. Little Jewban from Havana Javier Peres of Peres Projects gallery took me to din at Musso and Franks. We had a wonderful time, though the air conditioner in the bar area is weak. I was sweating up a storm. The only good thing about all the humidity is that its good for my skin. I'm looking quite lovely these days. Javier's gallery is really getting a lot of ink and is being talked about as one gallery the represents the hottest art boys. Its about time someone came along and infused some new young energy on the tepid art scene in LA. I'm going to see if the Arts Editor of the LA Weekly will write something about Peres Projects.
My drink from the Musso bar was a Manhattan. It was perfect. Our waiter was a bit of a grinch, but the food was delish in that comfort way i crave so often. Sitting across from us was ugly old Alan Alda and when we were in the bar sitting next to me on the next stools were the guys from that drab band Matchbox 22. There's always someone of note at Musso. The olde Hollywood guard go there and have been going there since 1919, but then all the new kids wanting hip credibility also make it a pitstop.
Bricktops Cole Porter Titty Sucking Extravaganza went over really well. A photographer from Los Angeles Magazine came by to snap everyone's pics and people were dressed really well. I love this fetish model girl named Pandora. She's adorable looking. Shauno Leoni set up a 20s boutique with her unique designs. She is very talented and is always dressed to the T's. That snooty actress Kate Beckinsale who was really good in that movie The Last Days of Disco came to Bricky's with members of her family and Chloe Sevigny. She was wearing a pretty beaded gown and was even dancing up a storm with Mr. Uncertain. But looking even sexier and pert was Audrey Tatou from Amelie fame. She didn't stay long. I guess the LA Magazine photographer scared her, but she did hear me sing, and i was in good form. I felt really pretty. Glen Meadmore did my face and Miss Morgan of Omaha Nebraska made me this gorgeous lavender dress with intricate baubbles in a layered pattern. I overwhelmed the crowd. Miss Morgan is one talented coutourier. She use to be a model, but is now a student at Otis Parsons. i gaurantee she is going places. Her beau is very handsome as well. I'd like to strip him naked.
I got so many compliments on my singing and outfit that now my head is mongoloid sized. Also hanging out at Bricky's checking the scene out were regular Bibbe Hansen and Sean Carrillo, Richard Velasco looking very dapper in his vintage summer suit, Mark Simon and his The Boyfriend/Leave it to Jane posse, Abbie Travis looking very Ziegfeld Follies and Charlie's Angels designer Michael Schmidt, humpy latino actor Freddy Rodriguez from Six Feet Under, boyish Devon Gummersall of My So Called Life and Joel Gibb of the super hot Toronto folk/queer band The Hidden Cameras. I thought he was going to want to perform, but he was out for some art shindig at the STandard and just came to chill. Joel is so cute and adorable, lanky and lovesexy. We hit it off immediately. After Bricktops Andrew and i took him to The Tom Kat Porno Cinema, which was really doing some brisk horndog business. I've never seen it like that. And it wasn't filled with just trolls. Really cute boys. I was the only girl in the place but it didn't put a damper on their lust. Several guys complimented me as the most beautiful woman they have ever seen. The mgr said that the old queen that use to own it is gone. Thats a good sign. Maybe Ron Athey and i will get to have a Spicy Beef Curtain event held there one day. We sat in the auditorium for a while on the semen covered seats and some guys started giving Joel and speed rush blow job. He started then stopped then ran off, then came back. So LA. Andrew was attacked in the bathroom by 20 inches of jubas jubilee cock. these two black stalions with hard muscle bodies put the heavy mack daddy make on him. I was exhausted and just wanted to go get some sleep so i finally coaxed the boys out. I still didn't wind up getting to bed until almost 5am after taking off my make-up. Maybe i ate my makeup.
The next morning Lenny and I took Joel to eat breaky at Hugo's. It was filled with so many Los Ang types. Gay pretty titties and tanning salon straight actorette couples. I'm glad Joel got to see and whiff it all in. Later Ron Athey came by with Crepe Suzette and we took Joel to the I Martin bike shop where i was getting my vintage Western Flier bike repaired. There is a cute humpy dork boy that works at the bike shop who is perfect for Suzette. She needs to get down on that one. We then went to Ron's Studio and hung out a bit, then had a Thai meal at Sampoon across from the Gauntlet II and drove to Chung King Road to see Javier's latest show at Peres Projects, but got there too late. He had vamoosed. Monday Andrew will take us to Laguna Beach. that should be fun.

o i forgot to write last week that when i went to the MC Hammer Museum with Larry Bob i also got to see their permanent collection which has some impressive stuff like Van Gogh's and shit. That MC Hammer is one fine art collecting baggy pants wearing rapper/minister.
Oh and at Bricktops Creekbird performed and he is a sheer delight. He use to be in several bands that played at Sucker so i knew he'd put on a good show. He was dressed like Alan Quarterman 19th Century explorer and had on stage his valet, his butler, his mistress and his musical chimp who was packing one mighty fine erection on him. Also the Fishnet Floozies and their hot rock-a-billy fans were celebrating their birthday and boy did they bring some hot boys with them. yums. one even danced with me and he was the perfect lead. also joining in on the celebration my performance art daddykin Ron Athey with Kid Congo Powers of Gun Club and Nick Cave fame, Miss Abbie Travis looking resplendid in vintage finery, Stuart Townsend from that movie The Distinguished Gentleman's club and Willliam Lee Scott who played a sexy wigger in the film Black & White. William requested that i play Ill Wind from Cotton club and of course i did. This week the Canadian band The HIdden Cameras may make a surprise appearance. I hope so.

Larry Bob and Lord Andrew and I went to dinner at that fancy vegan restaurant on La Cienega that is called Our Daily Planet or Daily Bread or something like that. The place was chock filled with celebs ranging from the tired Hilton Sisters to Anthony and Flea of the Red Hot Chilli Peppers and Rick Rubin. Flea caught a glimpse of me and gave me a dirty look. He doesn't like me ever since i wrote in Fertile La Toyah Jackson magazine about his male hustler past when he was kept by new wave R&B Singer Gary Allen back in the early 80s. He's never forgiven me, and always gives me shade, which i promptly give right back. i've never been a big fan of their group. Always thought they were overrated, but i did like the title of one of their more recent CD's called Californication. That was clever. I'll give them that. And John Fruciante is extremely talented, he use to be really cute when he first joined the band.
After dinner we went by tired Amoeba Records. I hate that store. Its too big, though there are a lot of cute boys roaming the isles----i'll give it that. Ran into Tyrone the Baptiste aka Dave Cunningham. He is so cute and adorable. I've known him since he was 15, and i still have a mild crush on him. He's in the band the Sugerplastics that use to be on Geffen Records.
After the record store we went to Peanuts to see the tranny show starring Viva Sex. Ms. Viva i've known since 1975. She is one of the original Cosmetics, and is also one of the premiere Madonna impersonators as well as Gloria Estevan impersonator. She even toured with Gloria. I love how Viva is giving Madonna realness the way Madonna should properly visualized with a rough hewn cunty edge. One of the girls in Viva's drag review is named Delta Work and she is a hot hoot. She came on doing Anna Nicole and was pure geniustrata. I love the scene at Peanuts on Monday nights. All the tranny in their full regalia and the t ranny chasers who love them. Its one of the best and illest scenes in LA and a must to any newcomer to los ang trying to figure the town out.
The next day Larry and i ate breakfast at Swingers. Which has a large vegetarian menu. The food is actually really good there, but i can't stand the rock n roll vibe of the place and some of the people who go there and work there. But early in the morning its not bad.
Larry wanted to see the Christian Marclay exhibit at the MC Hammer Museum in Westwood. I loved the video art the best. It was so Ann Miller. We hung around UCLA so i could troll the cute frat boys. The westside is so boring---nothing ever changes. I've always wanted to give it some credit but since the 70's there is still that stale vibe. At least the weather was a lot cooler. We came back to the MC Hammer later in the evening to catch Dennis Cooper and Christopher Russell read.
I met Christopher when he brought me out to Art Center for a visiting artist last year. He's a sweet young kid and read an explosive short story. I love people who are damaged in all the right ways. I also love Christopher's hesitant persona.
He provided a nice companion to Dennis Cooper's excerpt from his new novel The Crowd Pleaser, which is definately that, and a great new direction for Mr. Cooper. He's actually writing about adults, and its so exciting and invigorating, plus funny as all hell. Dennis' reading style is also magnifique. Steady and deliberate and never shrill, he hits all the right notes and makes all the moves. I'm so glad that i was able to attend, it really was inspiring.
Larry left for San Fran on Wednesday. I sort of hijacked him to stay a few days extra since i just love his companionship. It was almost like being married. I'm very bossy, but Larry loves it. Had lunch with beautiful Ceasar Vega, who use to be a Club Sucker regular. He took me to Musso and Frank on Hollywood Blvd. Its my favorite old school eatery. The place has class class and more class. I ordered the Cesar salad with grilled chicken. Yumsickle!
Mr. Vega was looking very good. He is one hot Papi and has such a delicious casual vibe about him that makes you feel real comfortable in his presence. If i ever had a boyfriend, which i never will it would be someone like Ceasar. He has such great energy surrounding him.
He and another Club Sucker regular Dan Perreira have written a script that they want me to participate in. I'm flattered. The action takes places around me and my shenanigans at the club. I can't wait to read it. My Vaginal enfluence resonates in ways i never expect.
Before Larry Bob came down to visit i met a handsome young scandanavian man. I don't want to say too much about him, because i don't want to jinx the relationship, its all so fresh and new. I'm glad i had Larry as a distraction so i didn't get all caught up in this new person in my life and ruin it with my demanda ways. Its best to play it too cool for drool. But of course that is always very difficult for a girl like me. Stay tuned as things develop.

Was talking to my New York guru of all things, Glenn Belverio aka: Glennda Orgasm and he relayed to me that Jay Blotcher a former Man!hattan activist queen who now lives in upstate NY was livid about my gay marriage piece in the weekly. He said, "How dare she evoke Genet! In her snide essay. Genet was the most sexually selfish person that ever existed."
I guess I pushed a button someplace.

Been getting a lot of emails and calls about my Style piece on Super Post Ghetto Fab.

Larry Bob or as I like to call him Larry HobGoblin came down from San Fran to visit me. Its wonderful having him in Los Ang taking care of the doll. I am such a needy lady. We ran down La Jolla way to get some free editing time from yet another acquaintance who has promised to help me finish my Berlin movie project of two years ago. Got back in time for Larry to go catch the tail end of a Bar B Q at Dave White and Alfonso Duralde’s and also to go to Scutterfest. I had to get ready for Bricktops in awful 90 degree weather. Nothing puts me in a funk like summer heat. I was surprised that people had energy after Bar B Q-ing and fireworks displays to do the Bricky thing, but it was a cute crowd. Ebony Jett one of the sweetest queens of the new York scene who lives here now came by. I adore her. She was in the touring company of the broadway musical Rent, and let me tell you this soul sister can saaaang. Also Tommy Gear of the Screamers came by with artist Doug Gorden. Tommy is art directing a book that will have photos by his ex-lover Lyle Ashton Harris with text by Anne Deveare-Smith. Anything that Tommy touches is incredible. Tommy is one of the main reasons that Lyle is doing well in the art world.
Also met this documentary filmmaker girlie who is related to that hunky Joseph Fiennes. She told me she has a movie about South Central Los Angeles and that she did a docu on dancer Michael Clark and that he has finally kicked his heroin problem. She hinted that she wanted to do a documentarty on me, but not before i do my own. Hahaha.
LarryBob and i got togther with his friend Trebor the writer. Trebor is hilarious. I like his new all grey hair look. Its very distinguished in that Richard Gere-ish way. We all had a delish luncheon at the Krishna Temple in West LA. We had a hard time finding the damn place. I hadn't been there in ages. the food is really tasty and some of those Hari Krish boys running around in sandles are mighty yummy on the eye. Yahoo!
We also went by Beyond Baroque in Venice. Hadn't been there since the early 90s when i did a reading with Reza Abdul. The place kind of lost its cache. I think they still put on stuff, but it just had this new agey Bohdi Tree feeling about it that was kind of icky. I'm glad we left. Larry went off to Scutterfest at the Knitting Factory and of course that left me time to troll. It wasn't my night for getting nookie so i went to Miss Spotlight to have a dozen drinks to wash out my sorrows and meet up with LarryBob. We ran into the divine Richard Velasco at the spotlight and i knew he and Larry would hit it off talking about the old days of LA and San Fran underground. Not only did Richard do the windows of the famed Maxfield's store but also Fiarucci's in Beverly Hills which i think is now a bank. I remember when that building was a second run movie theatre. I've gotta stop dating myself.

Saw Terminator 3-Rise of the homemade Rage against the machines. Love love Nick Stahl. He is a juicemonger. Whats happened to poor Clair Danes. She looks olde enough to play Nick's mom. Her acting was fantastic, but how is it that she's aged so much? I guess she just has that kind of white skin that is prone to looking haggy beyond its time. The same with Kirstin Dunst who is only 21 or so but looks 37. I'm certainly no teenager myself, but on a good day i can really give a semblance of youth. I actually enjoyed the Terminator movie and President Arnold----yes give him a few years and he'll either be a Jesse Ventura-esque governor, president or fascist dictator.

Summer is really here now. I hate hot weather. Its depressing. The only good thing about it is that a lot of sexy boys are wearing less on Hollywood Blvd and that is nice to see. Went to the movies to escape the mid day heat. Saw the new Charlie's Angels sequel, and i was amused by it. Its quite the trifle though. Justin Thoroux has a great body playing a gangland Mick, i met him once through margaret Cho, she brought him as her date to Club Sucker years ago. Seeing him in the movie made me want to chow down. I also love the young ingenue Shia LeBouf who was in the film Holes. He reminds me of my old paramour Alfie Botello when he was that age. Ran into Alfie's childhood pal Travis downtown a few months back. He seems sad and forelorn. It was good seeing him. I guess Alfie is in LA a lot trying to sell screenplays. Maybe one day he'll want to connect with me again. I feel like our paths will definately cross when i least expect it. I still have great feelings for him. Not exactly love. I'll never be IN LOVE with someone, but i do have this attraction to him that will never go away. Probably he senses that and is not anxious to tread that path on any level. I don't blame him. I'm too much of a handful for anyone, even maintaining a friendship with me can be difficult as i'm extremely demanding on all accounts. I'd love to see Alfie's wife. I hear she looks just like me, but is white. Freud would have a field day with that, eh?

was reading the cover story of Spin Magazine that my friend Brendan Mullen wrote about the history of Jane’s Addiction. Pretty damn good. That Brendan has a wry way around the oral history reportage. Reading the article brought back a lot of memories of the period. I was around a lot of the incidents relayed, especially the section about Psi Com, Perry’s first band who I always felt were more interesting then Jane’s Addiction. The best thing about Jane’s was the name. I was the one who introduced Perry Farrell to Ziola Blue aka: Lisa. She was an Orange County teenager from a wealthy family who was a wild free spirit and hung out with these two other teens Mischa and Ix aka: Steffan. I don’t know what ever became of Mischa, but Ix is now living in Hawaii I believe, with another old acquaintance from long ago named Buck. Xiola was quite the beauty, but had a drug problem par viatria. When she was in rehab she would send me some of the funniest letters which I still have in storage. The last time I saw Perry was at Beck birthday party. We really didn’t have much to say to each other than, "Hi". He was always a bit of a sponge who absorbed from everyone he met. But back then he was affable if not a bit hippy dippy. By the time he was living in that house on Wilton Place with the entire band, he had some kind of sexual Svengali control over them, especially Eric Avery and Dave Novarro. Perry does have a giant thick dick, and at that time all the boys in his band got to chug a lug of it, but after a while he couldn’t manipulate them anymore with his cock. The boys were all at least 10 years younger then him and very impressionable as they were suburban and Jane’s Addiction was their first parlay into the underground scene. Dave Novarro and Stephen Perkins are still very suburban in their tastes. Thats uber obvious with Dave going out with tired Carmen Electra and all the other skinny brittle blondes before her. He’s really a butch bottom and wants a boy with a big dick like Perry but can’t admit it. Jane’s opened up for my band The Afro Sisters twice. At a theoretical party at the Park Plaza formerly the Elks Lodge and then at this BBQ party below the Detour in Silverlake. One Jane got a following and clicked Glen Meadmore opened up for them at the Scream Club and was boo'd off stage by the bratty Valley and Orange County poser weenagers. of course crazy Glen loved it.

Dadster Athey had cooked one of his superlative feasts. Talk about eating good just the way I like it. Food is much more reliable then sex. Had a hilarious chit chat with Gwen Turner the glorious star of such films as Chasing Amy and Go Fish. Gwen is certainly one of the smartest women I know and never fails in making me laugh out loud. Her male husband is professor Jose Munoz of NYU. They even had a commitment ceremony on fire island recently, and are writing a screenplay together. Gwen’s latest project is a lesbian version of Queer is Folk that stars Jennifer Beals, Pam Grier and I kidyounot Snoop Doggy Dog. Leave it to Gwen. I also did something I have never done in my life and that is: toot cocaine. Yes the original anti-drug lady actually put cocaine up her lovely nostrils. Oh whats the big deal? It actually wasn’t bad. I didn’t even do a full line of it, but I did feel something and it was pleasant. Now I’m a bona fide cocaine whore. Next on my list is ecstacy, then crack, crystal meth, pcp, ghb, and heroin. I’ve sure waited late in life to experiment with drugs. But hey, I’m a late bloomer. I was a little afraid it would give me a heart attack but both Ron who is AA and Rage(his next door neighbor) swore to me that I wouldn’t go into cardiac arrest. I certainly did feel a rush, but it leaves the system pretty fast and I actually got a really good night sleep from it. Who would have thought?
Spent the day with Fertile La Toyah Jackson at her new Pasadena compound. She is a high falutin homeowner with a lovely two bedroom house over near the RoseBowl Swap Meet. Im so proud of my lady Fertile. Gawd. I’m the only one who is broken down living in tired tiny flats with nothing I can call my own. I’d sure love to own a home, but unless I marry Prince William I don’t see that happening anytime soon. Edith invited me and Fertile to dinner at her pretty hilltop Glassell Park estate. Her 3 year old daughter Eva is really cute, looks just like Edith’s handsome Aryan husband Steve who use to be in the band The Vandals. Steve is one hot big dicked German. Ya Volt! He has a son from a previous relationship who is 16 and is also a hunk. You know you’re old when all your friends either own houses or have children who are almost grown. We watched a bootleg copy of that new movie by Danny Boyle "28 Days Later" Really scary. I hope I don’t run into any zombies, or if I do I don’t want them to munch on my brains, just my titties. Hahahahahaha!!!!
Went by Frank Rodriguez and Jeffreyland Hilbert's new design firm Famous. Its really cute right next door to the Gauntlet II. Frank left the security of a job with Sony Pictures to be a partner in Jeffrey’s firm. I’m proud of him for taking such a big risk and finally leaving the corporate world behind. Honey child let me tell you, working for "the Man" gets you nowhere fast. Its best to be an entrepreneur and do it all for yourself. Amen.