FAIS-MOIS PLAISIR
First few days with the students of Hector Petersen School in Kreuzberg for the X-Schule project through HAU. I´m always suspicious of these bringing art to the people stunts which are always problematic. Monday introductions in the school auditorium was awkward and set a poor tone. Why not try for a party/celebratory mood instead of one that is authoritarian.
Just my twenty two cents.
I have 8 sweet boys from the 10th grade who are about 16 years of age.They are are good looking and bright.Whenever i work with students no matter what the age the ones who usually pick me as their teacher and or mentor are usually girls. I am the perfect big sister.Having young men interested in working with me is quite a departure for the Vagimule doll. Thank god i am collaborating with Senol Senturk who gives off a nice quiet air of control about him in everything he does.
You can never know what to expect from working with very young people,so alway expect the unexpected including them not showing up. This project is very demanding on the youth involved with 23 performances of them which i believe is pushing it way too much. These aren´t spessig children of the middle class but poor immigrants kids.I can relate to them in that i went to an inner city high school in South Central LA that looked like a state prison.My students and I are at least in the music room where there are nice picture windows, but the building itself is quite drab. German educational institutions are in great need of reform, especially their system of tracking kids at an early age in schools that are either college prep, trade or vocational in nature or Kottbusser Tor Crusty with a future permanently tied to the dole.
Thank god i had some brilliant teachers that recognized early my artistic potential and had me classified as a mentally gifted minor.If that hadn´t happened to me i would have undoubtedly wound up in prison or dead.
This week has been filled with brainstorming with the students, and with Senol who always comes up with the most wonderful ideas, plus he has solid technical skills, and a sensitive, artistic thrust that is very nuturing and suportive.When i first moved to Berlin in 2006 Senol was behind building the CHEAP Gossip Studio, Bar and Installation, plus CHEAP Blacky, Guilt House, Daddy, Jack Smith!Live Film! & the Bad Breast.
Films always play a big role in inspiring my pieces and for this one we watched a bunch of youth in revolt films like Lindsay Anderson´s . . .IF, The 5000 Fingers of Dr. T, Children of the Damned, Made in Britain where a young Tim Roth plays a neo Nazi Skinhead and the beautiful Jean Vigo 1933 French film Zero de Conduit which influenced Lindsay Andersons film. Special thankx to the Love Camel for providing us copies of all these movies.
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Sunday NYU scholar Tavia Nyongo treated me to a lovely din din at the WAU Cafe, then CUNY professor Robert Reed-Pharr took us to a performative lecture from Avital Ronell at HAU 3 called What Was I Thinking? A Critical Autobiography & Spectral Colloquy:The History of My Unthought.Whew that is a mouthful of a title isn´t it?
Ms. Ronell in Marc Almond drag seems like one of those academics who craves more attention then the academy can provide.The best moments of her piece was when she spoke extemperaneously.Larry Rickels a scholar from UCSB provided able assist in the Bea Arthur as Vera Charles from Lucille Balls version of Mame interludes.I also loved the camera obscura work by Orthographe.We were joined in the theatre by Tavia´s East German beau Sebastian and sweet tutonic academe Carsten plus Ms. Lady Peaches just back from Djing the Basel Art Fair.Also in attendance was the genius butch lesbian post structuralist philosopher Judith Butler of the famous tome Gender Trouble:Feminism and the Subversion of Identity 1990.Ms. Butler caused a scandal by refusing the Civil Courage Award from the tired Berlin Pride. Most mainstream media reported that she didnt accept the award because of the Parade´s commercialism but that is only partially true in that she said she was „distancing herself from racist complicity of homonationalist organizations“These awful racist German gay groups love to pull out figures that the main culprits of homophobic attacks are Muslim immigrants who can´t speak proper German.
You go Ms. Butler! Go tell it high on the mountain top girl!
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Had a wondeful treat of several luscious days and nights in Gay Paragee with Love Camel aka:Andrea Novarin who accompanied me to the city of light while i had some art world meetings for a new project.One day of work was followed by R&R in a lovely boutique hotel off the Bastille. Camel just inherited several million dollars from his dead auntie in Italy so paid for us to stay in a swanky hotel and also took me out for scrumpteous lunches at the quaint French bistro Cafe D L´Índustrie located at 16 rue Saint Sabin where the pretty young waitresses are very accomodating.That precious Love Camel also took me to the hot Mexican restaurant La Perla 26 rue Francois Miron which has the best Mango Margaritas in all of Christendom.
We also hung out several times with Phd couple Maxime Cervulle and Marco.The Camel even convinced his doll to ride the Batobus boat that hits all the tourista sites on the Seine.It was the first time i have ever done anything so touristy in my life.I hate boats, as i can´t swim, but i have to admit it was the best way to enjoy a glorious spring in Paris.
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Back in Berlin with Camel as my guest at the Cheese Endique Trifecta we hung out with Baby Diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras and Daniel Hendrickson for a Mexican feast at the new Kreuzberg eatery Santa Maria which got great reviews in the New York Times.We picked the wrong time to go as Mexico was kicking France´s asstrovar in the World Cup match.Unfortunately football madness will be rearing its icky head throughout Europa in July.
After din din we stopped for a drink at The Nobel Elf aka Moebel Olfa and ran into Bruce „Judy“LaBruce and Michael Stipe of REM who is recording here for the summer. Love Camel got a little too intoxicated so we went home early missing a hot birthday party in East Berlin.
The next night was Search & Destroy rock club where I was Djaning with Judy LaBruce and Joel Gibb in the hideous Smokers Lounge. The place was packed to the rafters with Christopher Street Revelers that included Mr. Stipe and posse, Kirsten Stewart and her lezzie Twilight gal pal Ms. Taylor Lautner, and a bevy of cute baby dykes who were dancing right near the DJ booth, also seen on the dance floor and in the tootn lavatory: writer Travis Jeppeson, artist Christophe Chemin, Tennessee Claffin of Club Pork, famous for being the ex hustler boyfriend to A-list directors Gus Van Sant and Bryan Singer, Sundance Film Festival Honcha Ms. Shari Frilow and her hottie Iranian Prinzessin girlfriend Roya Rastegar.Earlier in the day the Camel and I attended a 29th birthday luncheon for Ms. Shari along with Brazilian director Karim Ainouz and his lover Mario at Claerchaus Balhous in Mitte.
Also seen going down slowly to the Pointer Sisters: Djane Olga Damnitz with Nanna Heidenreich, Uli Ziemons, Robert Reed-Pharr, Tavia Nyongo, Daniel Hendrickson, filmmaker Liz Rosenfeld with Richard Hancock. Ms. Rosenfeld is holding a fundraiser for her new film project at Barbie Deinhoff on June 27th.Juicy big peniled love boy Gunnar Neumann, Tobias Rascher of Sissy Magazine with pal Karl and a gaggle of half nekkid boyganzas, Enrico Dallman & Company, Joana Coppi, Alessio of bbooks, Senol Senturk with Marga, Katja, Cheetum & Miriam.Nadine of Neu Koelln, Felix Knoke of Der Spiegel Online, Flemish Royal Koen Claerhoutoen with the statuesque beauty of HAU Katrin Dod, Little Alex and his super lovesexy Greek active star of his latest Choc Grinder film production, Aaston Brooks and girlfriend, Tim Blue, Ayse Gul of Fight Club, Thomas Lagnickel Stiegler, Joshua Thomas Lieberman of my Chittle Chat Roulette Klatch & NYU with a lecher ginger beauty boy, artist Dean Sameshima and tasty French hungthrobal Romain Duris.
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I already told you that my friend Love Camel inherited millions from his dead Italian Auntie. What i didnt relay is that one of my wealthy acquaintances, not a close friend, who has an estimated fortune in the billions of dollars just shocked me by telling me that he has been diagnosed with inoperable cancer, and that he does not want to leave his fortune to his racist bougie family and wants me to be the beneficiary of his great wealth.
I told him he should leave his money to charity.When a poor geezer such as myself gets lots of money suddenly it only leads to disaster.Can you imagine me with money? I´d wind up spending all of it on big dicked humpy hustlers and then catch Mrs. AIDS. NO THANK YOU PLEASE!
One wonderous gift i did accept graciously the other day came from Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Nanna Heidenreich and Djane Olga Damnitz in the form of a girlish cruiser bicycle that fits me to a „T“. My old bike went kaput last year during the production of Daddy at HAU.
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Rising Stars,Falling Stars my performative silent film event was explosive on Sunday June 13th at Arsenal Institute Fur Film und Video Kunst.Eunice Martin accompanied the 1922 film Othello with grace and bravada.The great Swiss actor Emil Jannings who won the first Academy Award played Othello in black face.There were lots of Berlin Biennale visitors in the audience including Yale Scholar and New York Times Sunday Magazine writer Michael Warner, Robert Reed-Pharr from CUNY who is in Berlin for the entire summer, Tavia Nyongo of NYU who for all practical purposes has become a Berliner, artist Christophe Chemin who is back in Berlin for a month looking radiantly healthy and cornfed, Brazilian filmmaker Karim Ainouz and his beau Mario, prima ballerina Julia Hoffman chatting away with Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Nanna Heidenreich & Djane Olga Damnitz,the most handsomest man in Europa Mr. Uli Ziemons, Toby & Karl, Jann the gorgeous Swiss film student with the luscious Pierre Clementi lips, German comic actor Kurt Kroemer, artists Stefan Seyen & Cecilia, Cuban artist Anoushka with her Kurdish and French posses, Shari Frilot of Sundance Film Festivals New Frontiers Section with her girlfriend Roya,the new Canadian Arsenal intern Blake with his well built but dimunitive theoretical mathematician Italian lover Marco.I love these young gay boys who are practicing a version of male pattern lesbian domesticity.
Also on hand at RSFS film historian Marc Siegel and his intermedia actress girlfriend Susanne Sachsse looking quite stylish and sophisticated along with cute gay couple Little Alex of Macedonia and Assaf Hochman.
A few nights earlier was a gentile housewarming party for Brazilian film director Karim Ainouz whose Kreuzkoelln compound has 47 rooms, 3 balconies and 5 bath tubs with seperate showers.From one of the balconies you can voyeur Rear Window style into 50 different flats and watch an assortment of hot couples and groups engaged in coitus interupticus of a highly sensitive nature. Yowza!

BY NOOK OR BY BABY DIAPER KROOK
Spent a glorious day with my beautiful Baby Diaper Joel Gibb of the art and music collective The Hidden Cameras at his Neu Kolln compound off of Richardsplatz which is a rustic little area just within The Ring’s NeuKolln station.Some parts of this area seem like London, and other parts the suburban countryside. There isn’t a lot of trendy café’s or bars, but the trendy gay Rize Gallery is located in this strip. There is one café that we went to on Karl Marx Str called Cafe Ricks that also contains a theatre and is quiete lovely. The gay waiter was sweet and friendly, not the usual for staff at a Berlin eatery who are more often then not gruff and unwelcoming—which is the typical Berlin style.
Mr. Gibb’s flat is on the top floor on a cute street.He has amazing light that filters freely through the apartment and nice cross ventilation and a small, but wonderful balcony with gorgeous views. For the last three days the weather has gotten progressively warmer and the sky a turquoise blue that is so rare here where it is grey and sullen for most of the year.But when Berlina gets this kind of sky its purely magical, and its days like this that bring more American’s here to live.I took a lot of photos of Mr Gibb with the camera that my pretty NYU grad student Leon Hilton bought me.Joel is one of the most photogenic men on the planet.It is impossible for him to take a bad picture, and his masculine ardour always shines through in such winning combinations that he is ideal to photograph.Others have noticed this quality as well and he has been snapped up as the spokesmodel for a company in Canada, and also a modeling agency has signed him.At the age of 33 he is at a place where male models start making some moula with catalogue work.Joel is premature grey and that gives his quirky handsomeness a distinguished edge.Joel has an unusual face, on the surface it shouldn't read as classically handsome, but somehow the oddly shaped nose and deep set eyes with his thin face give matinee idol male beauty in the vein of a young Robert Taylor or silent film star Richard Arlen who co-starred with Louise Brooks in the 1928 William Wellman hobo film Beggars of Life.Joel definitely resembles Arlen, but is taller and with his piercing but warm crystaline blue eyes he turns heads wherever he goes.Spending a day in his company is truelly a marvel to behold as he lights up every room he enters with manly charm and boyish bravado.We listened to a lot of music trying to figure out a DJ set when we tag team at Search & Destroy on June 18th at Shwutz Mehringdamn.Ms. Bruce “Judy”LaBruce will also be in town and will clamp down behind the wheels of steel in her usual crack cocaine style.
Later in the evening Joel & I went to his muscular boyfriend Enrico Dallman’s flat at Hermannplatz for a vegan din din, where we’re joined by two of Enrico’s sweet and friendly pals.Enrico is a great cook and his apartment is warm and spacious just like Joel’s.Everyone I know has a much bigger flat then mine, and I get really jealous over this point.
Met with Senol Senturk at Milch und Zucker a little café on Oranienstr in Kreuzberg to talk about the X-Schule project. Senol is all game for it which is nice, it will be lovely collaborating with him.Susanne Sachsse of CHEAP is also involved in this project and she is collaborating with Nazli, who use to be roommates with k-Johnny Blue in KreuzKolln.
Actor Dennis Hopper died recently. I remember seeing him at many an art event in Los Angeles. He and his wife came to the Platinum Oasis endurance art fest I curated at the fist fuck motel The Coral Sands on Hollywood Blvd back in 2001. I will never forget the sight of him and Larry Clark trying to catch a peak at my Topping From the Bottom installation, but of course the Q was just too long. During the witching hour I did notice that the wife was no where in sight, and Dennis and Larry were eagerly taking part in the Sexual Repulsive boy porno baiting room of artist Greg Lenzman aka: Greg Cloud.I guess Mr. Hopper was reliving his salad days of the 1950s sexing with the likes of Marlon Brando, James Dean, Roddy McDowell and Dean Stockwell.
Sorry to report on the death of actress Rue McClanahan who starred on the TV shows Maude and Golden Girls.Now with Rue’s death Miss Betty White is the last surviving GG, something she ironically predicted in a humorous death wish.
I fondly remember seeing Ms. McClanahan playing a floozy in a small film from the early 1970s that also starred Candy Darling and Gary Sandy the queen from the horrible 70s TV sitcom WKRP in Cincinatti playing a faded hustler.The film was set in a bar in a Manhattan tavern that reminds me of the Kneipe style watering holes so prevelent with drunken crusties here in Berlin.
I hate going anywhere in Berlin on Fridays and Saturdays as the drunken people throwing up all over the city is very irritating plus the binge drinking of teenagers and young gaggles of sex touristas.
TEENIESCHWARM MIT BISS
Received an emug from Amir Baradan the handsome, patrician Iranian academic I met back in 2007 with Dr. Jose Munoz when we were invited to lecture at McGill University in Montreal, the Harvard of Canada.At the time Mr. B was a young scholar, but I could tell he craved more attention then academia provides, and since he comes from an aristocratic family I was sure it would be only time before he would turn to an art career to satisfy those yearnings, well I was right.He sent my assistant an emug and it seems like he has made somewhat of a splash moving to New York stealing Marina Abramovics thunder during her celebrated MoMa performance. Imagine if I did my VDasVB performance as VB was staging one of her spectacles.Let me clarify.In the latest Abramovic performance she sits in a room wearing a nice designer dress and invites one audience member at a time to sit in silence opposite her, well Mr. B. isnt exactly sitting there in silence.He marches in wearing an almost duplicate dress that she is wearing,but his is in bright red.He isn’t in drag though, so the designer dress he sports looks more like one of those gowns that Turkish whirling dervishes wear.But it’s a pretty bold move,and I am just describing just one of his interventions on Marina.His first intervention she finds a bit amusing.You can see his documentation on You Tube.After breaking the rule of actually talking to her during her performance I am surprised that he was allowed to come back again.Where were her screeners?When I did an action with the public at the Yerba Buena Museum in San Francisco I had the people checked out way in advance before they were ushered in for an audience with la diva.
Mr. B was finally 86’d.I guess Marina doesn’t appreciate art whore showboating,of course you can’t really blame her.She has paid her performance art dues.Mr. B is a young, handsome dilletante with deep pockets.But getting kicked out of the museum didn’t stop him.He then decides to do a mock up of La Abramovics set up outside the glass windows of the museum itself staging a counter performance. The unmitigated gall. You have to give him credit for New York moxie---his motto: if the Museum of Modern Art won’t give me my own show I will infiltrate the show that is currently up and running, and do it one better by upstaging the well known artist while self promoting myself in the process.It’s the natural accension of Kareoke and reality TV.
Billy Miller of STH Magazine on this last trip to New York actually took me to an upscale gallery on the upper east side that is owned by this rich Russian woman who fancies herself a visual artist and has created her own huge vanity art gallery to showcase her awful paintings.She even pays critics to write reviews of her work, and the gallery has a staff dressed all in black wearing Madonna headset microphones, but of course there are never any actual customers in the gallery.This woman must be extremely loaded to keep floating a vanity gallery for so long in this economy.
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Gave a performative lecture at the art school UDK.The lecture series is curated by lovely young Tatiana Kononenko & Cornelia two wonderful new art talents.Tatiana who is Russian is the girlfriend of Julian of the Chocolate Grinder Kollective.The lecture hall was packed to the rafters.I didn’t know I was such a big draw at a Berlin art school.Also on hand to see the Doll was little Alex of Macadonia, one of the beautiful Lewis Clan members Sarah Lewis,Cecile the X-Schulen curator at the HAU, Uli Ziemons and Djane Olga Damnitz.After the lecture a huge group hung out in the garden ruins with the Vagimule doll drinking sekt until the wee hours.I had a fab time. One of the boys hanging out with us,with a lip piercing and a bubble butt you could build a dream on, and thick John Wayne is big leggy thighs and calves had me going with his Tom of Finland uber manlische looks, also sleighing me was this 24 year old Swiss beauty who was tall with gorgeous complexion and pillow lips to die for.Both of these boys made me want to drink their milk.
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I hate actors of the Mickey Rooney school of mugging.Jim Carrey I’ve felt has kept the Rooney mantle going very strong throughtout his years as an A-list comedy king.Few people know that I have a history with Mr. Carrey, that comes via the mid 80s when he was going out with my good friend Kelly Stallings.Ms. Stallings was one of those fashionable punk rock girls I use to hang out with who came from a very good family, attended a private girl school and was a Judy Garland doppleganger way before the actress Ann Hathaway.Mr. Carrey wasn’t famous in the slightest in those days.He was just a struggling young actor and comic plying his trade at comedy emporiums in Hollywood.I was with Kelly when she met Jim Carrey at one of the punky/queer dance clubs prevalent in the scene at that time.Places like Fake Club, The Garage(which was actually a funk club that existed in a parking garage on Hope Street in Downtown LA), Rhythm Lounge, Dirt Box and Nairobi Room.Mr. Carrey was sweet and gawky.Back then celebrities weren’t prized or favoured at Hollywood clubs.I remember a pre Brat Pack Judd Nelson trying to ingratiate himself with the cool queers who were the stars of the scene.Having a great personal style and original look was more important then fame and fortune.My have things changed for the worse.
I wonder what happened to Kelly Stallings? The only reason i bring up Jim Carrey is that I just discovered a screener copy of a film he stars in called I Love You Phillip Morris.I guess the movie was sent to me almost a year ago, but it somehow got missplaced and while cleaning up after coming back from New York I just found it and watched the flick and love it!It also stars Ewan MacGregor as the title character a gay man that Mr. Carrey is enamored with while in prison, and the film is based on the true life story of a gay conman from Texas.Carrey still does some mugging in the film, but in all his performance is quite contained, and he lets himself be photographed so unflatteringly.
Mr. Carrey has aged considereably since I met him, but lets face it the mid 80s is over 25 years ago.Even Ewan MacGregor doesn’t look so good in this Phillip Morris movie, and he’s considereably younger then Jim Carrey.I’ve had a crush on Mr. MacGregor since seeing him in the film Shallow Grave.Surprisingly there was no nude scene featuring Mr. MacGregors rather plump organ.I guess the filmmakers thought that would be a bit much.But there is one really sexy scene where Carrey is plowing a trick mercilessly and that bottom yells, “Cum in my arse, cum in my arse!” Some of these tepid gay indie films that play the fag film circuit could learn something from this mainstream flicker.
Just learned that Douglas Crimp the genius love sexy scholar worked for Jim Carrey advicing him on his art purchases.
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O the Bundespresident, or shall I say the ex-Bundespresident of Germany has resigned afer some comments he made about economics being a factor in fighting the Afganistan war.Of course he was telling the gospel truth,but the ruling class of Germany aren’t ready to hear these kinds of truths.
I remember meeting the Bundespresident at Schloss Bellview in the Tiergarten.I was dressed as Witwe Bolte for a command performance for German dignataries and their children of the CHEAP production of Max und Moritz.There is a picture of me and Mr. Horst Kurhler chatting together, and I must say the Bundespresident was quite charming and gracious.Poor Mrs. Angie Merkel will have a difficult time replacing him, and with that awful, fugly homosexual Guido Westewelle by her side, she isn’t smelling too damn fresh lately.

GENERAL JINJUR’S ARMY OF REVOLT
Finally the weather has turned springlike in Berlin. Had a wonderful luncheon with Daniel Hendrickson the Scandanavian Muslim at the Fishmarket in NeuKolln, sitting outside on the street watching all the bubble butt Turkish and Arab boys bounce by. Pure joy to be had doing the ho stroll on SonnenAllee as well, and cruising the park for hot humpy dads. The other day I met with the sweet Danish curator Cecile of the X-Schule project at WAU and we went to the high school across from HAU where I picked the music room to be the spot where I will create a little performative experimental music installation. The German school system is very odd in that by the sixth grade students are tracked as to weather they will be heading for University, a trade or the welfare system, and are given little chance to change from this path. Since this school mostly has young immigrant children, I would like my project to not exist within a bubble and express the true feelings and aspirations of the children that I hope to be involved with. The young people going to this particular school across the street from HAU are certainly at risk as the tract for this school leads to maybe a chance at some apprenticeship or a trade but most likely just to perpetual state aid or becoming a Kottbusser Tor crusty with lifetime employment as an alcoholic. I can see I will have my work cut out for me.
Later in the evening Daniel and I went to the Haus Der Kulturen Der Welt aka: The Pregnant Oyester for the Berlin Documentary Forum where Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus was part of a program called The Blast of the Possible with Angela Melitopoulos. Stefanie’s section The Life of a Film Archive started off with scenes from an Asta Nielsen film fragment of 1914 that looked gorgeous as it was projected in what looked like a sepia tone. On the panel was the handsome, distinguished lesbian scholar Heidi Schlupman and the always perky and fashionable Carolla Grahmann of Kinotech Asta Nielsen. Daniel & I had shared a bus ride with them to the venue. Also sitting on stage was Nanna Heidenreich of Arsenal Experimental and Marc Siegel of CHEAP, and a feminist journalista whose name escapes me now. I really loved how a giant editing bay was on the stage and a separate screen projected images from it as photographed by an onstage cameraman. This had a nice expanded cinema feel to it. It would have been nice to have the films from the editing bay play out much longer with just occasional commentary from the panel. Had to leave before the program was over as it was getting late and I would have to wake up early to start work on my X-Schule project. Before the program began Daniel & I snacked on the open air terrace and biergarten which was lovely, and ran into Djane Olga Damnitz and the gorgeous wife of the famous film director Hiram Forocki.

DIE HELDIN VON DANZIG
Last Speaking From the Diaphragm shows at PS 122 filled with tons of celebubots like model Jessica White,Berlin/New York performance artist Isabel Lewis with her humpy brother and his giant Jewfro yes a black man with a Jewfro its the hot new trend,plus designers Isabel and Ruben Toledo, Gilles Marini, Johnson&Johnson heir Jamie Johnson, Naveen Selvadurai of Foursquare.com, the indie cuntry band The Dough Rollers featuring Malcolm Ford,(Harrison Ford’s son) Julia Tepper and Jack Byrne(Ellen Barkin and Gabriel Bryne’s brat) Warhol enamorata Christopher Makos, Scott Hug, French directors Jean Pierre Jeunet of the new fim Micmals, Mia Hansen-Love, Claudia Gonson of the Magnetic Fields, Mashinka & Jeremy. Brian Burton aka: Danger Mouse, with James Mercer of The Shins,Lady Bunny,Lurleen,John Sanchez, Seth Rogan & Michael Cera and Jewish lovebirds Mark Zuckerberg of the Facebook Trillions with his humpy power top actor Bryan Greenberg
The last two episodes of the talk show installation was an 8pm and a 10pm on Thursday May 27th with appearances by Johanna Fateman of Le Tigre and MEN, who brought her delightful child Goldie. Ms. Fateman was about to give us gossip on working as a producer and writer on Cristina Aguilera’s new album when she was brashly interrupted by a drunken audience member, who proceeded to pick a fight with another person in the audience who tried to shush him. I plucked the man out of the audience and put him on the stage, where my co-hostessa Jennifer Miller, the sexy bearded lady started to molest him. His lady companion finally was able to get him under control escorting him out of the room during Marcus Pontello’s Skype fashion show from Los Angeles. Marcus had designed the Depend diaper panties for PME from our Performa Biennale performance at Santos Party House back in November and custom visors for Le Tigre. The other Skype appearance was by Susanne Sachsse of CHEAP from Berlin who looked incredible with her decorated set complete with manifestos and proclamations fresh from her new project at HAU working with the Israeli artist Yael Bertana. The last performance for the 8pm show was a rousing musical number from the gorgeous Miho Hatori of the Japanese band Cibbo Mato that had the entire audience on their feet.
For the 10pm show the Skype guests from Los Angeles were Michael Lucid and Amanda Barrett of Pretty Things, the popular web based humor serial. Ms. Barrett is also a member of the heritage band The Ditty Bops. Art couple Slava Mogutin & Brian Kenny made a second appearance due to popular demand with Slava reading some of his poetry and prose with that delightful Russian accent of his. Of course everyone was also lusting over tall and handsome Brian who packs quite a sexcular punch. Jr. art star Scarlette Rouge came on and showed one of her lovely video pieces. I have known Scarlette since she was a baby, her mother is Michele Lamy and father the performance artist Richard Newton. When she was a toddler she was in the art rock band Visiting Kids with Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo. She attended Cal Arts and also works for her step father the heralded fashion designing genius Rick Owens. The junior art stars Dan Herschlen & Marie Catalano with their Fluxus Gangbangers did a wonderful Fluxian intervention that melded in nicely with an appearance by the great Genesis and Lady Jaye Briar P. Orridge who held the audience rapt speaking on their philosophical concept of pandrogyny. The fitting close was provided by downtown luminary supreme, the one and only Ms. Penny Arcade.
Speaking From the Diaphragm informal closing night party was held at the Phoenix bar on 13th Street and Avenue A where everyone drank and partied the night away. Thank you to everyone involved with making my time in New Yorika so special.
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Last night I went on a sweet date with my mega sexy baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras. We ate dinner at the vegan restaurant on Mehringdamn, then went to see the encore closing night performance of Peaches Christ Superstar featuring Lady Peaches with Chilly Gonzales on piano. What a delicious treat it was. Thank you Anna Muelter! Peaches has such a strong singing voice and was in fine form mesmerizing the audience and holding them from beginning to end. I love the spare set design and inventive lighting of Veit Gries. Also the costumes in Act one by John Renaud and Act 2 by Mundi. It was also great seeing my young Fight Club kids shining on stage as Peaches Christ dancers, the cute and sexy Elvin Ahmadov, and the beautiful and perky Ms. Ayse Gul.
The after party was held at the new 3 Sisters Restaurant in the Kunst Haus Bethanien. Ms. Peaches held court in a swanky puce pant suit while flocked by admirers that included Mochy & posse, Little Alex, Mourning Becomes Elektra of Chocolate Grinder Kollective, Lady Gaby & friend, Enrico Dallman, German actors Max Riemelt and Jurgen Vogel and one of my Klatch Roulette Kids from New York Joshua the dark ginger otter boy who is in Berlin for the summer studying on an NYU exchange program. Peaches make-up designer Feride Uslu of Uslu Airlines Beauty Make-up Supersonic has developed a new line of air brushing that is really incredible. She even did a little airbrush majic on Joel & I before we dashed off to the party. You can find out more about her make up line at www.usluairlines.com or www.ferideuslu.com.
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The wonderful Little Annie is coming to Berlin. Little Annie performed with Kid Congo Powers at the second Platinum Oasis at the Coral Sands back in 2002, the endurance art festival I co-curated with Ron Athey. Ms. Little Annie packs a musical wallup so be sure to see her and Paul Wallfish Monday June 14th 8pm when she comes to the Volksbuhne at Linienstrasse 227. For more information go to www.volksbuehne-berlin.de. Or call 03024065777
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O and for those of you who heard all the gossip concerning my run at PS 122, you couldn’t possibly know the entire story. Its so crazed that I sometimes forget all the details. The artistic director at PS 122 is named Vallejo Gartner and he has been at the place for about four years. He comes from a wealthy Australian family, that is considered the Rockerfellas of Oz. Mark Russell use to run PS 122 but now he is with the Public Theatre. I have always heard some not so great stories about Mark Russell. Ron Athey in particular was not featuring Mr. Russell when he performed at PS 122 back in the 90s during the heyday of the culture wars. But one thing many people agree about is that at least Mark Russell is bright and a smart curator. From my first phone call from Mr. Gartner when I won the Ethyl Eichelberger award, I got a bad feeling which intensified with every subsequent dealing with him. He doesn’t seem to be a malicious type of person just a clueless dilettante. It’s a good thing I don’t live in the US anymore, but even when i did i never was one to take the crap that US artists have to put up with on a daily basis. Doing Speaking From the Diaphragm was a pleasant experience mainly because the staff at PS 122 were so supportive and helpful to me, Jonathan Berger & Co. A shoutout to Carleigh, Laura, Derek, Eileen, Lauren, Nick and all the rest of the gang at PS who were just lovely. I think I instigated a Marxist coup at the place with my black Muslim for Christ Jesus womanly defiant stance. I am Ms. Davis hear me roar! Something tells me that the board of directors at PS 122 is now going to have to seriously take some major stance. Next time you see a tall black lady carrying a hatchet run in the opposite direction.

ODER GIBT ES DOCH EINE LOSUNG?
Back in Berlina and Rising Stars Falling Stars at Arsenal Institute fur Film und Video Kunst, the monthly program I curate. Can’t believe I have been away from Berlin for over a month. The weather is on the cool side, very unusual for late May which is generally warm and tender.
Tim Blue with assist from Liz Albee the daughter of queer writer Edward Albee(Whose Afraid of Virginia Wolf) provided the experimental score for my salute to film pioneer Edwin S. Porter. Blue and Albee created some lovely movements with spare piano and trumpet and some nice text written by Herr Blue in honor of Mr. Porter’s work with Edison. The lovesexy audience included that tall drink of spring water Toby and pal, the divine Susanne Sachsse and her gorgeous son Richard Gersh, Israeli artist Yael Bertana and her German girlfriend Saskia, the cute blondine Polish political activist, publisher and editor Slawomir with his beautiful Bulgarian girlfriend, John Blue’s ex roommate Nazli who is working with Frau Sachsse on the X-Schule project through HAU,charming videomaker Liz Rosenfeld and her KreuzKolln posse, the wonderful Anna Muelter of HAU, theatre actress turned German film star Birgit Menemeyer, and Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus who was a Eurovision judge. And for those who wanted a copy of my introductory text, voila:

When considering the homosexuality of film pioneer Edwin S. Porter, he liked his maenner the way he liked his café. Milch am morgen und zucker am abend. There is however, no evidence how he liked it in the nach mittag. This presented no quandaries for his long suffering Deutsche Frau Caroline Ridinger. Sie hatten kein kinder. Naturlich.
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Last Wednesday sweltering heat day in New York during the final week of my performance piece/installation Speaking From the Diaphragm. Taken to a nice luncheon by Professor Ricardo Montez of Princeton, along with Dr. Jose Munoz to this lovely lesbiana boite Prune on 1st Street off of First Avenue. It was air conditioned and the food was divine.
The other evening at my old galpal Boofy St. Marie’s I stuffed myself so much on the great homemade Mexican feast she prepared that I came down with a severe bout of indigestion which plagued me the next day when I went to breakfast with my comrade X John Yahnke one of the stars of my 90s short subject VooDoo Williamson, the Dona of Dance. John who has one hot tight body, is getting divorced from his famous hairhopper husband Luigi who use to do the locks of Madonna and was pretty much hogtied and cockeyed to her during that time. I guess when you work for McDonna its like a marriage unlike any other. I remember that even poor John Yahnke had to be at McDonna’s beckon call for playdates with a much younger Lourdes. Mr. Yahnkee is still producing his grand avant garde stage productions, and is considering a move to Berlin as he realizes he can go only so far in New York under the current financial restraints.
It was nice getting re-aquainted with him. He moved to New York back in 1997 and has also appeared in productions by the late great Reza Abdul.
In the evening my child of high art Jonathan Berger had a little shrimp and muscles dinner party at the lush brownstone of his parents up on 103rd Street at West End. The turn of the century house is exquisite and we all feasted royally. So nice hanging out in the palatial garden with Jason Martin, Jean Kim, Sarah Mauer, Josh Lubin-Levy and Jennifer Miller. Too bad my heart burn was making my enjoyment of the proceedings a bit limited. I had to leave early and get thee to a drug store for some Tums and Xanacten. Earlier I received a call from Hagatha aka: Santiago who is still living in New York. He wanted to meet me at Escuelita after dinner at Jonathans, but sent me a text canceling, which was just as well as I needed to take heartburn meds. Hag use to live in Los Angeles, moved to New York in the 1980s and worked with John Leguizamo when he first made his mark off Broadway.
Wednesdays Speaking started off with handsome and naked Joel Gibb via Skype from Berlin then everyones favorite downtowners Carlo McCormick of Paper Magazine with Spencer Sweeney of Santos Party House, director James Rasin of the new Candy Darling documentary, with Chloe Sevigny who narrated the film. Ross Menuez of Salvor with his stylish 17 year old ginger art prodigy daughter India. Bibbe Hansen & Adam Green of the Mouldy Peaches were the perfect tag team. Adam is very hot with big doe eyes and a giant penis straining through his tight hip hugging jeans. Sean Carrillo, Bibbe’s husband was also on hand documenting everything with his trusty camera. Michel Auder and Lia Gangitano looked wonderful and talked about their upcoming exhibit at Participant Inc. I have known Lia for what seems like forever. We first met in the early 1990s when she brought me out to the ICA Boston when she was a baby curator at that museum.
Michel Auder is one dashing French man who has had love affairs with Jane Fonda and has been married to Viva and Cindy Sherman. He was having a grand old time on our panel drinking Russian Standard Vodka and making everyone fall in love with his dashing Gallic ways.
The highlight of the evening was a smoking performance by New York’s dazzling new performance art starina Dynasty Handbag. I love her feisty spirit and off kilter stance on stage. She reminds me of a younger Peaches.
Seen in the audience: independent curator Jasmine Tsou,artist and member of band MEN, and art star in her own right-Emily Roysdon with gal pal. Looking evervescent Jennifer Monson the famous post modern dancer with Movement Research, Paul Loback and Yuki Matsuo, Louis the hot youth culture “It Boy” who is best friends with India Menuez, Damon of the band Starscream(named after a Japanese Robot) and beau of Jean Kim, NYU’s Alex Jovonovich,Rachel Matteson, writer and girlfriend of Jennifer Miller,Carmelita Tropicana, Tom Murrin aka The Alien Comic. Latin writer Junot Diaz looking quite manly.
Marianne Weems, director of award winning multi media theatre group The Builders Association, Ain Gordon Obie Award winning playwright and actor, the first born of legends dance theatre director David Gordon and Valda Setterfield with Merce Cunningham. Brian Kates, Emmy award winning film editor of the Savages, Laramie Project and La Lupe.
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Had a dainty luncheon at the 12th Street Café with one of my former Wiesensee students Lydia Hamman who is in New York on holiday. Another ex student the pillow lipped Joanna Coffi will be going back to Berlin on the same day that I am, but we are on different flights. What a shame. Lydia is such a sweet natured good time Sally of a girl. Lydia’s mother is a doctor with great taste in clothes wearing vintage Courrege. She recently ended a long relationship with a Saxony Prince.

J’IRAI JUSQA’ ALA MORT MAIS JE NE FERAI PAS UN PAS DE PLUS
Friday at Speaking From the Diaphragm it was Look at Those Cute Couples Nite with Skype visitations from green artists Beth Stephens & Annie Sprinkle the Eco-sexuals from the Bay Area, Heather Cassils & Lady GaGa in Los Angeles and Bruce “Judy” LaBruce and his cubano husband from Toronto with live super sexy couple Brian Kenny & Slava Mogutin and Billy Miller of Straight to Hell Magazine. I didn’t really feel like going on Friday because that morning I heard about the death of Will Munro the wonderful artist, designer and queer club entrepreneur from Toronto who changed all of Ontario with his love, spirit and tireless energies forging a true sense of community with a varied group of multidisciplinary artists at his club nites Vaseline and café/bar TheBeaver. Bruce & I did a little tribute to Will on my chat show installation. I waxed nostalgic about having performed at the early days of Vaseline and I can tell you that it was transporting thinking of his shows with Cherrie Currie of the Runaways, Kembra Pfahler of VHKB, Glen Meadmore and Jayne County. I have fond memories of Will with his thick Canuck accent showing me around, and giving me a little T history tutorial. Will died much too young of a rare and strange brain cancer that usually only affects children. Will is a good ecosexual and he is now helping to fertilize and renew the planet.
The ecosexual message of Beth Stephens and her lover Ms. Annie Sprinkle couldn’t be more timely with that humungous oil spoil raping the Gulf coast and doing irrepairable damage to the environment. Seen in the audience milking in the cute coupledome: juicy Australian art and fashion photographer Paul Gunn, Casey Spooner of Fischer/Spooner who now seems to be working more with the Wooster Group along with his male companion Adam Dugas, Casey was a guest on Speaking From the Diaphragm on Sunday, cute laptop of a boy PJ Deboy of Shortbus fame with posse, beautiful Berlin artist and one of my students from the Weissensee Art School Lydia Hamann, NYU professor and dance theorist Barbara Browning and landscape artist to the shtars Brian Funk, who has been coming to the piece almost every night.
Saturday was a grueling early and late show. For the 8pm my co-hostess was bearded sex symbol Jennifer Miller looking so fetching in a white pant suit. The program started off with jr art star Marc Arthur,tranny performing and writing goddess Kate Bornstein, who is the nicest most sincere woman on the planet engaging the entire audience in tantric orgasm, cyborg couple Jeremy & Mashinka lookingg resplendid with a sci fi burlesque that left the SRO crowd agog and panting for more, and chicano art diva Nao Bustamante who is starring in an upcoming art reality TV show, with her companion FuFu who did some circumvented daredeviling. Catching them all in the audience, Dr. Jose Munoz and John-John, playright Young Jean Lee,Wall St. tycoon Steven Grey,artist Ethan Shoshan, San Francisco fashion designer just relocated to New York Gage, photographer Don Spiro, Princeton Professor Dr. Ricardo Montez, Karen O., Kenny Mellman, and humpy David Katzenberg who was oggling Goldie of the Chat Roulette Klatch.
At the10pm show I was delighted to see Squirrel from the David Rousseve Company with beau, handsome lesbian writer Eileen Myles with her hot child bride, and writer Deb Schwartz who was celebrating her birthday at SFTD. It was difficult doing two shows in a row but with such fantastics throngs I overcame my swollen joints and sore throat. Seeing a beguiling Julie Tolentino in fine form with a smoking hot Pigpen, a glowingly pregnant Claudia Gonson of The Magnetic Fields, jr art stars Max Steele of Scorcher Magazine and Joseph Keckler with his violinist Dan Bartfield, a surprise visit from writer and sexpert Patty Powers charming everyone, and New York royals Ela Troyano and Uzi Parnes made it all worth while. Plus downtown treasure Carmelita Tropicana as my co-hostess was literally on fire.
Sunday was academic night with a live poetry reading by Dr. Jose Munoz of NYU’s Performance Studies Dept, Skype appearances from Marc Siegel of kollective CHEAP and Freie Universitat, culture critic and writer Mark Simpson who coined the phrase Metrosexual, a hilarious appearance by New York’s top fashionista Mr. Mickey Boardman of Paper Magazine looking fresh and springlike keeping the packed house in stitches with his joyous wit, Casey Spooner of musical art kollective Fischer/Spooner talking about a dinner party in London at Boy George’s house right after the 80s star was released from prison for holding a humpy rent boy hostage, a skype appearance from experimental film couple extroidinaire Sherry Milner & Ernie Larsen and a sumpteous musical appearance from MEN featuring JD Sampson, Ginger Brooks Takahashi, Michael O’Neal and Emily Roysdon. Sunday celebutants in attendance for the 6pm show included host with the most: Murray Hill, with Tova Mystek, Nao Bustamante, Martha Wilson of Franklin Furnace, the great performance art scribe C. Carr, Lee Houck & Nick Zinner and a rumpled Keanu Reeves.
Monday morning on my day off I was interviewed by the lovely and charming Abbe Schriber, a program assistant with the Studio Museum of Harlem Magazine who took me to breakfast around the corner at the 12th Street Café, then I had luncheon with cute & cuddly Leon Hilton & sex magnet Marc Arthur who helped me pick out a new digital camera, then I had some more press interviews before a short nap, and a divine homemade Mexican meal from my old girlfriend from the Ventura drag scene and Amoeba Records & Filmworks days Ms. Boofy St. Marie aka Michael Velasquez who works on Broadway constructing costumes for the theatre, ballet and opera. Boofy and his British lover who resembles Roger Daltry live in a charming penthouse apartment on 4th Avenue at 12th Street with a glorious Manhattan skyline. We were joined by my SFTD producer Josh Lubin-Levy Courtney Lovestein Hewitt and a sweet pal of Boofy who is getting his phd at Yale.

I AM THE NEW YORK ACTRESSTOCRACY
A song by Kembra Pfhaler of the Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black is the only way to describe the religious inter species sex night at the third Vaginal Davis is Speakingg From the Diaphragm with a magnificent performance by the always amazing Tony award winning starina of starinas Justin Bond with barefoot guitar accompanyment by Nathan, then came that hot, horny and born again cuntry Christian crooner Glen Meadmore live via Skype in Los Angeles, the handsome young black junior art star Derrick Adams, curator and writer Ed Halter of Light Industries in Crooklyn who showed us a rare 16 milimeter film from a little known black underground filmmaker from the 1960s and Dancenoise featuring Lucy Sexton and Annie Iobst.
The celebs were being all rank & file while the Ms. Davis doll has been encouraging complete anarchy and just a few righteous Marxist art poli coups. Gettingg sucked into the vortex Wednesday evening: a muscular and pistol packing Jake Spears of the Scissor Sisters, Stephen Daldry director of the Hours and Billy Elliot, That Hot They Shoot Homos Don’t They Guy, juicy Irish experimental filmmaking sensation Paul Rowley who took me to a scrumpteous lunch on Avenue A., charming A.L. Steiner of Ridykulous, the teenage looking Esther Kaplan of The Nation and author of With God onTheir Side, photographer David Barreda, British video artist/legend Charles Atlas, Christopher Schultz of Pin Up Magazine, Lori Seid lovesexy producer genius, pretty Dina Suggs ex girlfriend of Sundance’s Shari Frilot with her sweet gal pal from Brazil, visual artist Neil Goldberg, Nicholas Vreeland the grandson of the great Diane Vreeland with actor Billy Crudup and Keith McNally of Pravda speakeasy fame.
Thursday was our Ethyl Eichelberger Kabala Cabal with all of New Yorks royalty on board. It was the first time that any artist winning the EE Award did a special evening devoted only to Ethyl, so a lot of young people benefited from the live history and expanded cinema presentation by Joey Jeffreys who is an Ethyl and drag scholar who has documented countless hours of drag in his private archives. Joey gave a nice overview on all that is Ethyl. It was amazing to witness a performance by Black Eyed Susan who did a recitation from St. Joan that was written for her especially by Ethyl. BES showed the crowd just what stagecraft is. She looked like a teenager and that is no easy feat for an 83 year old seasoned woman. Delighting everyone with their giggly enthusiasm and youthful exhuberance was Joan Moossyy & Agosto Machado wearing matching cotton candy pinc and completely charming the audience. Jennifer Miller who worked at PS 122 as a young secretary did a tribute to Ethyl’s fire eating abilities and the night was closed by a sumpteous milkening by legend Salley May of the Church of the Avant Garde. John Edward Heys put in a magical Skype appearance from Berlin filling the room with his gorgeous resonating voice. The winner for the 2010 Ethyl Award will be downtown great John Kelly who accepted via a pre recorded video film from Florida. The spirit of EE was certainly in the room as their were many fist fights breaking out between straight girls and elderly homosexual men. The straight ggirls won hands down. The Chat RouletteKlatch has quite the effect on people. What can I say they are just too damn sexy. I am so lucky that I have two wonderful make-up artists Jordan Chin and Melissaa Ip who alternate beating my face. The celebs of the evening were the remaining Ridiculous Theatre members plus Jack Ferver from Strangers With Candy who according to Art Forum is now a top choreographer, handsome musician Xavier, writer Linda “Les” Simpson, poet and performance artist Nicole Blackman of the Courtesan Tales looking resplendid, Mashinka Firunts and hubby Jeremy standing out in the crowd with their youthful zest and vigor,Mindy&Keith Obadecky the wonderful New York performance couple. Mindy teaches with Jennifer at Pratt, the Bergers Ted & Assja, circus musical director Jenny Romaine, John Yahnkee who isnt married to his celebrity hairhopper any more, and extremely handsome actor Ain Gordon of the Gordon stage dynasty.

DES PROBLE’MES DE TYPE GREC
I was so glad I had the day off on Monday and Tuesday.Pivotal time to catch up with friends I haven’t seen in a long time and just rest and recoup. Had a nice visit and snack time with DeRohan Chabot and Marc Arthur. We met at The Flat Iron Building and hung out at Madison Square Park. Young Frenchman DeRohan was busy fornicating with everything in sight being that he has never been to New York, so I didn’t want to cramp his style by trying to get him to help with my show. He has no qualms about nudity so I may have him do some live sex thing with another young Cooper Union student on my Vaginal Davis is Speaking From the Diaphragm talkshow. Marc Arthur is going to be on the program Sat May 22nd at 8pm. Marc works for RoseLee Goldberg of Performa fame. Later in the evening I was taken out for tequila tasting with Columbia University Phd performer and neophyte independent curator Mashinka Firunts, and her handsome hubby Jeremy.Didn’t know that Mashinka worked for RoseLee Goldberg at one time.
The tequila tasting party was at the upscale tequila bar and Mexican cabana Mayahuel, and was part of the weekend's Manhattan Cocktails Classic.
The tequila soiree was called Terror in Tequila: A Pairing Dinner & Seminar. Mayahuel is located 304 East 6th Street between 1st and 2nd Avenue in the East Village. I know nothing about cocktail mixology and was looking forward to being at something different from the art or theatre worlds. The four course dinner was being provided by Mayahuel and the cocktail pairings by this very icky and unattractive Fordam baldie John Pomeroy who really worked my last nerve. When you are that fugly you need to be more personable or there is really no point in your existing on this island earth.
Tequila Ocho (the first and only vintage tequila on the market)teamed up with Siembra Azul (a leader in discussions of terror in tequila and social justice in the agave fields) to put on this dry as melba toast event.
The motly crew assembled tasted a portfolio of tequilas, from Blanco to Reposado to Anejo. New York is the center of beauty and glamour, but that sure wasn't represented here at this gathering. There was not one piece of eye candy. I guess tequila drinkers are all nerdic crotchies. I was expecting it to be super hetero normative. Dr. Jose Munoz had taken me to this irritating tequila bar before, and the place is way too tiny for a person who is 6’7’’, but what confounds me is that there weren’t even any interesting women on hand. I felt like I was transported to the cornfields of some Midwestern state, and far removed from sophisticated downtown Man!hattan. I guess this represents the new New York in spades.
Needless to say we didn’t stay for dinner, but Mr. Junior Merino of the tequila company seemed like a cheery pepperpot of a Mexican dude. My cute hosts took me for a proper French meal at Flea Market on Avenue A. I wasn’t believing in our waitress who was giving me attitude all evening. I ignored her, and settled down for an excellent meal, a flavorfull Margarita and zesty chocolate cake desert.
A week ago Jonathan and I went to Mashinka’s birthday party at this great little speakeasy, Raines Law Room at 48 West 17th Street at 6th Avenue. Young Master Jeremey, Mashinka’s hubby had worked as head bartender there some time ago. The Stumblebum Brass Band provided stellar whiskey soaked melodies and the scrumpteous black&white polka dotted birthday cake reading “Happy Spectacle Mashinka came from Buttercup Bake Shop. Friends and collaborators of the married couple included:
Paolo Javier and Serena Liu (Both were artists in Semiospectacle, Paolo is co-curator of P||R||O||J||E||C||T||I||O||N||S with Jeremy, and is the founder of Second Avenue Press. Nicolas Gitton & Daphne Leclerq (They're recent Parisian expatriates, Nicolas is currently project analyst at former Guggenheim Director Tom Krens's consulting project Global Cultural Asset Management.) Matt Jones (Remarkable visual artist with work currently on display in Anonymous Gallery's show "In Dialogue", also a contributing artist to Steno Pool for Semiospectacle) John Newsom (Painter of potent predatory canvasses also with work currently in Anonymous Gallery's "In Dialogue") Julie Jung (Bobbed Neue Galerie beauty and dead ringer for Anna May Wong)Nicole Abahuni (Also a Neue Galerie beauty prize, contributing artist to Steno Pool, and exceptional performance and installation artist who recently presented the world premiere of a composition by Elliott Sharp at John Zorn's The Stone with Leesa Abahuni) Marina Press (Erstwhile Neue Galerie lovely currently at Soho's DCKT Contemporary) James Copeland and Liz (James is a poet & managing director of experimental presse and Semiospectacle co-sponsor Ugly Duckling)
Amasa Amos and Amy Chang (Amasa was particularly taken with Hippo Narcissus having been a philosophy student at UCSB, Amy is a performatrice who most recently appeared in Dark Sky Films's "Hypothermia" with Michael Rooker) Shonni Enelow (Semiospectace artist, brilliant playwright, contributor to New York Times on the web, to launch upcoming two week run of "My Dinner with Bernard Frechtman" at Brooklyn art center The Invisible Dog
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Tuesday morning it was cold and rainy. Once again the weather has taken a drastic shift. Had a nice breakfast power bitch klatch at a cute little cafe with sexy and sophisticated Svetlana Mintcheva of Bulgaria who works for the National Coalition Against Censorship, and her pretty assistant Teresa who just moved to New York from Portland Oregon. Their organization is partnering with the New School, Bowery Poetry Club, Dixon Place and Anthology Film Archives to explore the impact of the decency clause on the representation of sex and sensuality in performance, film, and video. The program will take place in September at Dixon Place and is part of a larger series of eventas that include panel discussions and film screenings around the 20th anniversary of the adoption of the NEA “decency clause”.
Svetlana went to graduate school with Dr. Jennifer Doyle, who introduced her to my work. After breakfast it was time for luncheon with Glenn Belverio who will be going to Barcelona on one of his fashion journalism jaunts writing for Diane Pernet’s popular webjournal A Shaded View of Fashion.
Then it was a divine din din cooked by Russian dissident poet and artist Slava Mogutin at his 14th Street studio he shares with humpy artist lover Brian Kenny. The sacred dinner table was held together by Billy Miller of STH, singer and artist god Gio Black Peter and his gorgeous beau Neil Young who works as a designer for Calvin Klein. Slava gave me some delicious playing cards he photographed for the Play Smart Visual AIDS campaign. One of the cards features Brian Kenny wearing a jock-strap mask that gave off a whiff of Francis Bacon, and another was placed the most beautiful Asian boy in a singlet. Slava is one hell of a talented photographer,consummate artist, and his collaboration with his lover Brian and others is unbeatable. Slava&Brian and Gio&Neil are featured in the latest Vice Magazine in a photo series on gay power couples by Richard Kern, that also includes AA Bronson,Jenny Shimizu, Eileen Myles and her child bride. Slava is always giving me wonderful gifts, and also presented me with a copy of the magazine Crush which features his striking portrait of the sultry French/Arab actor and boxer Salim Kechiouche. Dinner featured organitron hambuggers and a divine golden beet avocado salad. When Brian and Slava come on Vaginal Davis is Speaking From the Diaphragm show at ps122 they will be wearing Yoshi Yamamoto and Jeremy Scott as the designers adore them and gift them with samples on a regular basis.

MANHATTAN MELONA MELODRAMA
So much work has gone into Vaginal Davis is Speaking From the Diaphragm. My wonderful child of high art Jonathan Berger has designed an incredible installation set in collaboration with the gifted tag team of Alexander Hollenback& Julia Rexon , the amazing Joshua Lubin-Levy & Ms. Sarah Maurer. Its been such a spirited effort with so many lovely volunteers from NYU coming in and painting, doing carpentry, sweating and grunting to get this piece up and running with such a miniscule budget. We borrowed, begged and stole. Its been really lovely working with everyone including the highly skilled and tireless PS 122 tech crew of Eileen Goddard doing the lighting, Lauren Brown on sound and Derek Llyod the tech manager. Also loved working and whooping it up in girlish fashion with Carleigh and Laura in the Tree House Marketing Dept of PS 122.
Hector Martinez my old Chicano pal from Los Angeles who is now a top executive with Affleck Insurance came to New York and helped me install the piece, and I wound up putting him on the chat show installation as a guest talking about whether President Obama’s insurance plan will work. I didn’t want my piece to exist within a bubble of only people who are artists, filmmakers and musicians. Having Hector on the show opening night elevated things in a direction that was very ripe. And speaking of insurance executives, my favorite poet Wallace Stevens’ day job was as a top insurance executive. Hector has become quite an accomplished photographer. The photos he took during dress rehearsals, installing and back stage were quite impressive.
Of course my time in New York has all been about work. I am not on holiday. It was great having Hector here and he was taking me out to breakfast lunch and dinner. We also walked about the city a bit and ran into young rich male ingénue Daniel Radcliffe of the Harry Potter series. Mr. Radcliffe is quite dimunitive in stature. He was sitting reading a book at Madison Square Park across from the Flat Iron Building. Hector boldy went up to him and invited him to my piece, and he came on opening night.
My Saturday opening was SRO with lots of celebs in the audience including entertainment lawyer Norman von Holtzendorf and writer David Coleman Howard of the New York Times, Sex and the City’s Cynthia Nixon who may make a surprise guest appearance on SFTD, landscape artist Baby Brian, activist Jim Fouratt, clarinetist Evan Christopher, Scarlette Johansen, artist and independent curator Scott Hug, diva Justin Bond, folk singer Scotland Zief with pop star Jason Mraz. Are they boyfriends? Will get the full list of attendees from the marketing department and add to this blog later, so please be patient.
Opening nite featured an electric live performance from super duper truper star Ms.Kembra of the Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black showing all in attendance how it is properly done on stage when it comes to singing a showstopping modern classic. There is no one better who can wow an audience like the Lady Ms. K. and with her beauty and fashion sense she mesmerized the room with her perpetual wit and wisdom. Also Jr. art starina Aliza Shwartz who gave her first public interview on SFTD. Many media outlets have wanted to hear from her since she burst on the scene while still a student at Yale, but having her on the program was a definite coup. The Skype guests like Rick Owens from his manufacturing homebase in Italy was also thrilling. Mr. Owens brilliantly art directed his Skype appearance. I have known Rick since the mid 1980s and I was one of the first people he designed costumes for exclusively so I count as his first muse. Cute and cuddly Jamie Stewart of the indie pop group Xiu Xiu even performed a delightful ditty with a tea pot. I adore Jamie. Before he was a huge star he performed at my punk rock beer bust Club Sucker. Our last Skype guest was the divine Jackie Reynal who came on the program from the Cannes Film Festival. Jackie was recently anointed the honor of arts & letters steward making her a Chevalier in France. For those of you not familiar with the great Jackie Reynal, she was a film editor working for Jean Renoir and also Eric Rohmer and is a superlative feminist filmmaker in her own right. Her film masterpiece being Deux Fois from 1968. She also ran the Bleeker Street Cinema and Carnegie Hall Cinemas in New York from 1975-1992. I first met her in Berlin at the 2006 Berlinale when my colleguen Marc Siegel curated the Ubersee Overseas program for Forum Expanded. That’s when I first fell in love with her spirit of 68 wild spirit. She and the other Zanzibar filmmakers like Phillip Garrel were the French versions of the Warhol scene. I have a crush on Phillip Garrel’s sexy young gay son the actor Louis Garrel. I think Louis Garrel is in New York now so maybe he will make a surprise appearance on Vaginal Davis is Speaking From the Diaphragm.
I just adore my Chat Roulette Clatch of Ms. Goldie, Ms. Barbara, Punk Rock Dave, Cutee Chris, Rockefeller Jonathan, and Ginger Otter Prize Joshua. They really add a lot to the talk show installation dynamic with their talent, beauty and sterling personalities. This project has been a very fruitful collaboration, and it has been so great working with downtown legends Carmelita Tropicana and Jennifer Miller who gave us some notes after the premier which were excellent, and music soundscape talent Jason Martin and video expert Jean Kim. Oh and special shoutout to Ross Menuez of studio Salvor who provided the architectural textiles for the outfits I am wearing for this piece that are designed by the gorgeous and exotic hearththrobs Nikko Lencek-Inagaki and Arjuna Balaranjan. My expert make-up design is by pretty and demure Justin Chin.
On Sunday the entire timbre of the piece changed with guests like writer, filmmaker and cultural critic Glenn Belverio, novelist Bruce Benderson who is the first American to win the prestigious literary prize The Prix de Flore for his tome The Romanian, controvertial knitwear designer Pierrot who brought his model Emma who is an Aussie entertainment lawyer by day and high fashion super model and muse by night, and the legendary Canadian lesbian rock icon Carol Pope(the first famous out lesbian rocker), who among other things performed with Bowie, was the lover of Dusty Springfield and wrote the memoir Anti Diva which is soon to be a major motion picture starring Zoey Deschanel. Via Skype was Dr. Jennifer Doyle of UC Riverside who looked amazing after just breaking her arm playing football. In the audience was menswear designer Neil Young and juicy Russian artist Slava Mogutin, Corey Sabourin an editor with InStyle Magazine who is also an amateur chief and known as the Alice B. Toklas of the East Village, Christine Martin the legal consultant to the shtars, writer Nancy Stout, Brady the lovesexy ginger dancer with the Mark Morris Dance Company, Jean Pierre, Carol Pope’s French Canadian manager. Broadway Ganymede Cheyenne Jackson, filmmaking Bros. Josh & Benny Safdie, vivacious writer Tsipi Keller of the book Jackpot and MagGruder star Will Forte. The last performance was from the high voltage singer, musician and artist Gio Black Peter and hunky art star Brian Kenny. It was the perfect way to end the proceedings. After the show a huge group of us ate perogis at Odessa’s on Avenue A.

CABIN IN THE SKY
The great Lena Horne died at age 92. I loved her in classic all black forties films like Stormy Weather, and her guest appearances in big MGM musical extravaganzas like Ziegfeld Follies of 1946, Till The Clouds Roll Bye, Words&Music and As Thousands Cheer. Ms.Horne reminds me of a lighter skinned version of my mother Mary Magdelene-- they shared the same jaw line, thin lips and sparkling eyes. Actually my Aunt Corrine who is still alive and a few years older then Lena is about a shade lighter but has thyroid eyes. Ms. Horne married the white musical conductor Lennie Hayton and her daughter is married to director Sidney Lumet. For my performance piece here in New York I will have to have a tribute moment to Lena Horne and Callie Angel.
***
Dr. Jose Munoz and his sociologist/chef companion John-John Andrews hosted a delightfully delicious academic Mother of us all Bruncheon at their Washington Square Village Compound for the doll. Guest hostessas included the brilliant and beautiful Nao Bustamante and lifepartner Fufu, and HRH Prinzessin Dulce Bulldog. The celebrity quotient was high beginning with Warhol Superstar Bibbe Hansen and her film editor husband Sean Carrillo,NYU Legion Performance Studies Doctoral Candidates: Leon Hilton, Aliza Shvartz, Richard Move, Joshua Lubin-Levy and Ms Jeanne Vaccaro with Super hot performance artist he/she & teenheart throb JJ Chinois and gal pal Rachel Rosen of MOMA, lovesexy theorist and dance scholar Barbara Browning who made a beautiful crochet pouch for Ms. D.
Also making guest appearances at the afternoon soiree Lisa Dugan the high priestess of neoliberalism and homonormativity theory,vivacious Jasbir Puar authoress of the groundbreaking tome Terrorist Assemblages: Homonationalism in Queer Times, visiting USC professor Karen Tongson who rules all things theory in the Inland Empire, and film scholar Patty Ahn aka: Party On!
The glorious menu designed by John-John included a big fat flowery Robert Mappelthorpe salad,Fresh Asparagus & mushroom Suri Cruise Quiche, Baked Appalachia Toothless Cheese Grits,roasted lady finger potatoes,John Wayne Gacy Glazed Ham with freshly baked buggery bread assortment,marinated baby Britischer cucumber salad, a seasonal Charles Nelson Reilly fruity fruit bowl, and a Diana Ross dot that i Pineapple Inside Upside Down cake. Yowza!

EASTSIDE/WESTSIDE
Rick Owens furniture event at Salon 94 on 12 East 94th Street at the posh upper east side gallery/townhouse of Jeannie Greenberg was definitely the event of the spring season, and much more enticing then the Costume Institute Gala. Accompanying the doll, her beautiful Speaking From the Diaphragm crew Jonathan Berger, Jean Kim and Ms.Sarah Marcy.
Who do we see upon entering the vestibule but that gorgeous creature of high glam and seductiveness Kembra Pfahler of the Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black wearing an elegant Mobile Oil jump suit. Clearly Kembra won the prize for best dressed woman, her escort being Adam Vomit formerly of Miss Guy and the Toilet Boys who is now in Kembra’s band and also works as a magician and ventriloquist. Adam brought his well behaved and simply ravishing children agse 3 and 8.
I chittle chatted with a mélange of delightful ladies including stylish and enchanting Ms. Leah Durner, the personable and charming fashion editrix Ms. Mickey Boardman of Paper Magazine,handsome soul brother Kevin Harry of Inside Edition,movie costume designer Michael Kaplan(Flashdance), Performa’s RoseLee Goldberg, furniture designer Paul Lebach with history of the donut food writer Yuki Matsua of Kiosk, Andrew Mochmell, the Rick Owens obsessive assistant of Kelly Cetrone, former Calvin Klein model and Angelina Jolie & Brad Pitt threegy partner Jenny Shimizu, Waris the Indian socialite who goes to the opening of a bag of potato chips, movie costume designer Michael Kaplan, New York Times scribes the uber handsome and patrician Guy Trebay and one of my old LA girlfriends David Coleman Howard, plus the ever ageless ladylove of Rick Owens, Ms. Michele Lamy and her scintillating daughter Scarlette Rouge. I even ran into one of my old pals from 1980s clubs Power Tools, Rhythm Lounge and Nairobi Room looking like she is still the fresh teenager who use to date Tim Kelly, the son of screen dancing legend Gene Kelly.

THE DOCKS OF NEW YORK
Went to Rick Owens soiree in the patio of the Bowery Hotel on 3rd Avenue. He and his honey lamb Ms. Michele Lamy are in town for his furniture opening at Salon 94. Michele’s daughter Scarlette Rouge Newton is also here. I cant believe Scarlette is 28 years old now. I use to babysit her when she was a little girl. She was a bit of a brat until she turned 5 or 6, and then was the perfect angel. Scarlette is also a very talented artist, even when she was a child she was in the art rock band The Visiting Kids with Nancye Furgeson and her hussband Mark Mothersbaugh of Devo. Scarlette attended Cal Arts and was one of my students at a block seminar I taught there. Also at the party was costume designer Michael Kaplan who just bought a home in New York. Mr. Kaplan just worked on the new film Burlesque starring Christina Aguilera and Cher. There was no hot gossip on the set as the two divas got along. Mr. Kaplan has also done the costumes for the new Star Trek film, Blade Runner and Flashdance just to name a few.
The other evening I passed by The infamous Cock pub, and who was doing the door but Mona Foote who goes by her real name of Nashon. I didn’t know Mona stopped doing drag over 10 years ago. We had a great time gabbing. Mona is a magnificient guardian at the door of the club multi tasking with a vengeance. Some beautiful Teddy Pendergrass looking manchild of the promiseland was constantly hitting on her and chowing down on her big muscular titty cavity. Nashon is also in the elektro pop group The Ones, and is one hot sultry and sophisticated new yorker.
The fall of advanced capitalism has really hit the city hard. There are homeless people everywhere, but they hardly ask for money, some just ask you if they can finish your food when you are eating alfresco style in a restaurant. That tells you that this is just the beginning of a total financial collapse that will make the Great Depression look like cottage cheese. Soon the poor will rise up and destoy the r ich and powerful. I can feel it in my bones. Lets face it somethings got to give.
Busy in the preparation of my piece Speaking From the Diaphragm. Young French stud DeRohan Chabot has followed me to New York and I will most likely place him in a live sex scene with this very cute young Cooper Union student. DeRohan is straight, but very open. We went to my favorite New York spot for contemplation, the Madison Square Park across from the Flat Iron building. We met up with pretty Jonathan Berger and just chittle chatted for hours. Jonathan told me that the Flat Iron building is made completely of Terra Cota.
So many people have been emailing me to be on my show Speaking From the Diaphragm. One of the more famous being Mr. Billy Joe Armstrong of Green Day who turned their concept album American Idiot into a Broadway style rock opera. NPR even wants to do an interview with the doll. Met sexy Ethan Peck the grandson of classic Hollywood star Gregory Peck. I sure would love to have and affair with this yummy boy.
More meetings with Jonathan and Jean Kim, the wonderful video artist who is handling all the electronic chores with Speaking From the Diaphragm. We met at Veselka on 2nd Avenue. There is this short little lap top hunky Russian boy that works there who drives me mad with desire. Later Jonathan and I went to an end of the semester soiree at the Dean’s Conference Room at the Tisch Building of NYU for the performance studies department. Dept Administrator and Dr. Jose Munoz’s lovely right hand girl Lauren decorated to the hilt, and the food was Batista Nouvelle Cuban Cuisine. Had a wonderful time hanging out with all the kids and legends like Richard Move a ka: Pookie from the Jackie 60 Mother family. On my way back to the hotel I received a call from former student Scotland Zief, who is now 30 and teaches highschool in the South Bronx. We met up for a snack and caught up. The last time I saw Scotland he was with two teenage friends, one of whom was a hot muscle twink who had an elderly sugar daddy in tow. The boys performed a hilarious sexual piece at Bricktops back in 2003. Before that Scotland participated in the first Platinum Oasis at the Coral Sands, and even performed at my legendary Punk Rock Beer Bust Club Sucker. Back in 2001 Scotland was interning with Princess Superstar, now he is a selfless public servant giving back to the community.
On a sad note, Callie Angel of the Whitney Museum died. I had known Callie since 2006 when I was part of the CHEAP Gossip studio installation at the Berlinale International Film Festival and she was an invited dignitary as part of Forum Expanded, the Experimental Section of the film festival. Ms. Angel also took part in Jack Smith!Live Film! What a wonderful woman with a dignified and intelligent presence. She will certainly be missed by all who came in contact with her.
Made my last move before going into strident rehearsal s for Speaking From the Diaphragm. I am now situated in a quaint little flat just around the corner from the performance space and i am loving it.

WEEK-END AT THE WALDORF
Early hot humid New York summer/summer. Really wasn’t expecting it to be this boiling in the Spring, but that is the luck of an Irish drag prinzessin from the ghetto wonderlands of Watts.
Sorry dearest readersas that I haven’t kept the blogina up, but I have been working in power bitch style overdrive here in New Yorika and frantically spinning like a Linda Blair style chicken with its head cut off.
The night before leaving Berlina, my monthly curatorial performative silent film event Rising Stars, Falling Stars at Arsenal Institut fur Film und Video Kunst was SRO as the talented and lovely Ms. Eunice Martin accompanied the Lon Chaney horror classic The Phantom of the Opera, 1925. Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus was off in Canada & America on important experimental film business so taking her place was juicy Nanna Heidenreich of Arsenal Experimental. During the post screening reception in the Rote Foyer the celebutant factor was high. Seen dwinking and schmoozing: Brazillian club kingpin Ricardo Domeneck of Berlin Hilton at NBI, Yusi Ettiman the guru of Basso, Downtown New York legend John Edward Heys with starina Zazie de Paris, Dickey Doo of Canadian TV’s House of Venus, with booty pie artist Jeremy Shaw who is also a member of the indie rock band Circle Square, Mickey One & Ibadette of the Berlin based pop group Super 700, film historian Marc Siegel, adorable Felix Knoke of Der Spiegel Online with muscular Jan Klesse. Felix cooked the doll a fab fish dinner a few nights before at his charming Neu Kolln pad. Pretty new mamma Michaela of bbooks, DJane Olga Damnitz, photographer Olivier Marcillac, pretty-pretty Nadja Talmi with studkin Uli Ziemons, also known as the handsomest man in Europa, The Chocolate Grinder Film Kollective of Little Alex, Juicy Julian and Mourning Becomes Elektra, gorgeous Tatiana, prima ballerina Trixie Cordua with her husband the famed experimental filmmaker Ludvig Shonherr, and humpy Israeli Catherine Sullivan dancer Assaf Hochman who was celebrating his 31st birthday.
The next morning early I was off for the US. Flew from Berlin to Paris where I transferred to an Airbus 300. My first time on one of these brand new giant planes that are split level in design. I love big aeroplanes, but they need to speed up the boarding process cuz it takes forever before the stupid jet takes off and flies. No eye candy on the plane just hordes of dull business people and crying brats.
My ravishing first child of New York high art Jonathan Berger whisked me to dinner, stuffing my gullet with lots of love, and then we went to the Eagle leather bar to meet up with my former Club Sucker partner Frank Rodriguez whose significant other the beautiful ginger prize Patrick Lee is now the official toast of the New York art world with his sold-out show of drawings. Also on hand fellow Angelinos in the form of voracious thrombone Steve Hall who is the gifted production designer on Bruce La Bruce’s LA Zombie with his mega well endowed lover Glen Stiegelman and their hot posse of pals. The hornpigs and salty doggs at the Eagle were having a hoot of a time, and I was able to down many whiskey sours. My first week lodgings being a spacious upper east side flat on Lexington at 63rd Street with a balcony no less. Mucho thanks to pretty Scotish lass Lauren at PS 122 for the hallowed digs. Being that this trip is no vacation I was immediately working with Jonathan Berger 27/7 which included meetings with our beautiful video expert Jean and soundscape artist Jason. Plus wonderful brainstorming with my co-host Jennifer Miller the bearded lady of Circus Amok. Did have a lovely breakfast with Billy Miller of STH Magazine and we cruised together through central park. Billy is one of my all time favorite New York personalities, plus Dr. Jose Munoz of NYU’s Performance Studies Dept treated me to an incredible din din at La Palapa in the Village a Mexican restaurant with courage and conviction. Also dining with us the big peniled academe Ricardo Montez, Sweet Johnny and student love sensations Leon Hilton and Nikko who signed on for the task of making a gown for the doll.
The generous Dr. Jose Munoz conspired with his fellow academes Dr. Jennifer Doyle and Dr. Ricardo to get the lady Ms. D a much needed lap top computer. My wonderful scholarly friends sure know how to take care of this poor pathetic woman. In fact I am at NYU at Dr. Munoz 6th floor corner office with the fine views writing this very blogette.
After supper we had one last dwink at Pieces a dive bar of epic porportions which was having a bingo night that featured Randy Jones the Cowpoke from the Village People. The next afternoon it was a power bitch klatch at Café Orlin with Jonathan and his expert team of Joshua Levy-Lubin Courtney Lovestein Hewitt, and the energetic and vivacious dynamo Ms. Sarah Michelle Geller Jessica Parker who really knows how to crack my whip and keep me organized. We later met up with the divine Lia G. of Participant Inc. and had dwinks at this French bistro Lucian on First Avenue with handsome French god Michel Auder, where we were later joined by the amazing feminist artist Kathy Burkhart. At Lucien’s we spied junior art stars Dan Colen and lanky Nate Lowman. Does anyone really believe any of those Fleetwood Macian rumours that purport that Mr. Lowman was once involved in a threegy with the dullard Olsen Twins. Nay pa-pa nay!
Friday nite Sarah, Jonathan & I shuttled to Terminal 5 on 56th Street to see Gossip perform. Ms. Uber talented Beth Ditto showed New York how its properly done, while looking stunning, ravishing and downright delectable. Ms. Ditto has a new hot girlfriend as well. Gossip manager Tara aka: Annie Oakley of SexWorkersArtShow was also looking like a supershtar spokesmodel. Delighted to announce that Beth &Co will be special guests on my chat show installation Speaking From the Diaphragm. Even Courtney Love has contacted me in hopes of having the new version of her band Hole be guests on my little performance piece at PS 122 which runs from May 15-27th with different guests each night. Check the PS 122 website to see who has confirmed. Backstage at Terminal 5 it was celebrity central with MC Murray Hill, actress and Imitation of Christ designer Tara Subkoff, artist Terence Koh, Waris the towelhead Indian socialite, jewelry designer,model & actor in Wes Anderson films, and dorky director Darin Aronofsky who went to school at Harvard with my talented artist galpal and former LA Weekly colleguen Marina Rosenfeld.
Saturday is when the weather turned turgidly humid and I had to change digs to my old stomping quarter at Off SoHo Suites. Just in time for a May Day Dinner party hosted by the elegant Glenn Belverio with cooking assist from Cory and French knitwear design sensation Pierrot. The menu included Bourride, dragons breath and sect. Mr. Belverio and Pierrot will both be on Speaking From the Diaphragm, with Pierrot presenting a fashion show. At dinner I was enchanted by the gracious and beguiling beauty of writer and Bataillian librarian Nancy Stout. And of course M. Pierrot is my kind of Frenchman—sexy and wild.
In the morning I found out on CNN that there was a foiled terror plot in midtown Manhattan. Yikes.
Last night at Participant I hosted the book launch for the Stuart Sherman Nothing Up My Sleeve Exhibit, curated by Jonathan Berger. The gallery looked gorgeous bathed in gold lame wallpaper, and I had everyone in gush over my exquisite puce gown designed by Mr. Nikko Lencek-Inagaki a new design force to reckon with who is a happa mixed with Japanese and Slovenian parentage which gives him that adorable shot of exotica. So nice seeing Sean Carrillo, & his wife Bibbe Hansen, the youngest of the Warhol Stars looking literally teenage. I cant believe that Bibbe’s pop star son Beck is turning 40 this year and his brother Channing’s son is 16. I use to babysit Beck and Channing back in the old punk rock days in LA. Also on hand The Bergers, the handsome young parents of Jonathan, Jason Martin, Sarah, Sweet Johnny, Tavia Nyongo, Marc Arthur & beau, Leon Hilton, Billy Miller & Jeff, Carlo McCormick of Paper Magazine (who will be on Speaking From the Diaphragm) Spencer from Santos Party House, photog Conrad Venture and a host of other notables that I don’t have time to relay as I have several meetings today including one with my co-host Carmelita Tropicana. Sunday evening ended beautifully at NoHo Star restaurant with Dr. Munoz & as we were served by a little lap top of a boy waiter with plenty of attitude to spare.

NEW BLOG ADDRESS

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CRAIG´S WIFE

For all you fans of Azteca Warrior here is a short emug from him:

Nigressa,

I have been all over the city and state for that matter for work. Can't complain, too many folks without work! I finally saw my Hot Buttered Jewish Gym buddy last week at the gym. He was working out with his hot GF when I saw them. She was her usual bubbly self. He was a little quiet.
Fechesita, in my ass hounding adventures, when you get the opportunity to give a guy, straight, married, etc... his first ass rimming it's a great experience for both. If you have the boy/man on his back with his knees to his chest, you get to enjoy what he has to offer, but more important to me at least! Is watching is facial expressions. When a straight dude is getting licked for the first time around his ass, his nuts, the portion between the nuts and hole and the sides of his inner thighs, it's all a new sensation. Guys don't know if they should laugh/giggle cause it tickles, moan, or start calling out for a Butthole Jihad. The result of all these sensations, especially when you finally dig into the hole, is an odd really Goofy and dorky Smile. For some reason this look really gets me going. Back when Azteca Warrior was a Marine, I got to enjoy that look often...Nothing better then a hot young fit Foondio to chow down on. As you always say, young bung hole is always sweet and tasty even if it's a little dingy.
OK, so back to my gym buddy, we did our usual small talk and then I went on my way with my routine. I turned and saw him while is GF went off to get some water. While I worked his hot ass he had his mug deep into his pillow so I didn't get to see his face. At the gym he looked right at me and he just gave me that Odd Goofy smile that I recognized as the "I can't believe this hole feels so good being licked-look!" I looked back at him with my serious Poker face and then he broke out with a really big cheesy smile.
So my sweet Crenshaw Rose, I have a feeling that a second opportunity awaits me. You know I'd be down for that, I'd have to do my Pupusa Style rim session or the sloppy Wet Burrito number that works for big butts like your hot hard Horse Ass!

Azteca Warrior

***
Had a delightful time with one of my NYU students Alex Casso who is here in Berlin on an art exchange program. We met at the Nobel Elf for drinks, then went around the corner to Festival Hall Kreuzberg to see MEN perform. MEN is the new hot band headed by JD Samson of Le Tigre fame. The place was packed with fans dancing and having a grand ole time. JD and her wilde lovesexy crew that includes sweet Ginger and hottie patotie young Michael (who was packing quite the penile package)worked the audience into an Alfred Hitchcock style frenzy. It was nice to enjoy the show with a handsome young companion, and see things through his youthful eyes. Also in the audience: Janine of PlanningtoRock, Anna Muelter of HAU, Tim Stutkin, Liz Rosenfeld, and editrix Manuela Kay of Sieggesaule.
***
The next day i was feeling a little under the weather when i was treated to a lovely luncheon by Marc Siegel on AkazianStr near the Cheese Endique Trifecta. Marc regaled me with stories of his successful tour of the east coast with Drag Superstar Mario Montez. I will be leaving Sunday for New York to work on my Ethyl Eichelberger Award show at PS 122 which is called Vaginal Davis is Speakingg From the Diaphragm. The kids from MEN said they want to be guests on my show, and that would be amazing!!!

Hope to see you this Saturday April 24th 9pm at Rising Stars, Falling Stars where i will go through another one of my frightening transformations. Feel free to bring along a baby Frankenstein or your gnarliest Berlin Nosferati looking best friend as we celebrate all things hideous with a special screening of the horror classic The Phantom of the Opera (1925) starring Lon Chaney and directed by Julian Rupert.

Vaginal Davis presents: Rising Stars, Falling Stars, a monthly utopian performative silent film event for the discerning filmgoer. Saturday April 24, 2010 9pm at Arsenal Institute für Film und Video Kunst. The Phantom of the Opera starring Lon Chaney with live musical accompanyment by Eunice Martin on klavier. After the screening join the ugly Vaginal Davis Jr. In the Rote Foyer for an intimate wine reception.

2 Potsdamer Str Kino 2 at the Sony Ctr Filmhaus in historic Potsdamer Platz. www.arsenal-berlin.de www.vaginaldavis.com

KRAKATOA YEAST OF JAVA
This amazing emug just came to me from Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus who is off traveling the experimental film circuit in the US and Canada.
***
Hello dears,

how does it feel under the cloud? Bitte keine großen Luftsprünge machen!!!

I have to tell you the weirdest story that happened to me in Winnipeg: When I arrived at the hotel, like a ghost late at night, they told me that I had already checked in a couple of hours earlier. I said well, that can't be true, because I had just arrived. But they insisted that Stefanie Schulte Strathaus was on her room and had already complained about having no warm water. Everyone was very confused, so they decided to believe me my identity and gave me another room. The next morning the other Stefanie Schulte Strathaus showed up earlier than me and the hotel people asked her to prove her identity, they compared credit card numbers, called Manitoba Film and Music who had made the reservation for her, and it turns out that this person really exists. But she got mad at the people at the hotel, insisting that she was the only Stefanie Schulte Strathaus in the world, no-one else would have this name and that I had stolen it from her. She left the hotel and I never got to see her. But the bellhop whispered into my ear: "She has your hair!"
However, my double had left and we went on to Vancouver. Like in Grimonprez' Double Take, when your double disappears you lose your identity. At the hotel in Vancouver my passport was lost. I tried to call the airline, but because of the vulcanoe it was impossible to get an answer. The next morning I spoke to BA call centers in India, the lost & found at the airport, the German Embassy, the police, the taxi company. No success, everybody told me that I should contact the other, it ended up in an endless loop. I was also told that if they would find my passport at all, they would have to give it to the Embassy, because it is Germany's property, not mine. And that would take a couple of weeks. At the Embassy they told me that I could get a temporary passport on Monday, but they wouldn't accept it at the US customs. So it looked like I could neither go further to the US nor back home because of the cloud.
After a million more phone calls I took a train to the airport and went to the lost and found. The guy didn't ask me for my name, but for the colour of my passport. I said it was red, he went to the back room and came back, holding it in his hands. He gave it to me and said, "now go and play the lottery". I took a taxi back to the city and the driver asked me why I had no luggage. I explained him that I was at the airport because I had lost my passport. He turned around and asked me "are YOU Stefanie"? They had informed already taxi drivers that my passport was missing. I wasn't sure what to answer, since I knew there was another Stefanie Schulte Strathaus around, but then I said yes and it felt like I had my identity back ...

Miss you all and hope to be able to fly back on Sunday!
Tim: Meeting with your family on Wednesday ;-)

Kisses,
Stefanie (the 1st)=

***
Saw the new film version of Dorian Grey, and its not very good. Fine oil Paintings should never hiss, or sprout faggoty maggots kids. Ta!
Went and saw Tom Ford´s version of Christopher Isherwood´s A Single Man. Mr. Ford had sent me a copy on DVD, but i wanted to check it out on the big screen. I liked it better smaller, but Mr. Colin Firth and Ms. Julianna Moore did put in some excellent performances and young British ingenue Nicolas Houth is mouthwatering throatcandy.
***
This just came in from DJ Snax:

HEADACHE is the new party brought to you twice a month by international musician and performer Snax and his partner, the debonair Michael R.

Every first and third Tuesday of the month, in Mitte’s Bang Bang Club, Snax and Michael blow your head with a festive, sexually mixed party full of cute boys, willing girls, drink specials and music so eclectic you’ll be begging for an aspirin. HEADACHE will host a special live act and guest DJ every night upstairs while downstairs, patrons with extra strong migraines can visit our soothing Wagner lounge, which offers mind bending visuals and ambiance.

HEADACHE is happy to launch our first party, TONIGHT, Tuesday April 20th, with none other than the one and only Namosh performing live. Namosh has been electrifying stages with his exotic, groovy music and performances since 2003. He is currently touring his latest LP, "Keep It For Later" (Crippled Dick Hot Wax), which can be described as cinematic, romantic, and danceable all at once.
http://www.myspace.com/namosh
Following Namosh will be our very special guest DJ for the evening; the legendary Matt Sims. Already known for his darkly provocative performances and recently on the heels of a touring opera with Olaf (The Knife) and Planning To Rock, Sims creates DJ sets known to be both brooding and cathartic.
http://www.myspace.com/mtsims
Guests will definitely want to stick around late as Snax closes the party each night with a DJ set sure to get your head (and other body parts) throbbing!
Start Time: Tuesday, April 20, 2010 at 11:00pm
End Time: Wednesday, April 21, 2010 at 7:00am
Location: Bang Bang Club
Street: Neue Promenade 10
City/Town: Berlin, Germany
***
Received this emug today from the charming art photog and gallerist Ms. Elly Clark whose traveling exhibition has been postponed because of all that ash, smoke and lava coming out of my erupting pie hole.

Dear All,

DUE TO VOLCANIC ACTIVITY, neither Elly nor her suitcase could make it to NYC - this week. So W U N D E R K A M M E R will be staged on Thursday 22nd April on the shelf of Clarke Gallery instead, presenting the work of all 11 Berlin-based/Clarke Gallery artists of the exhibition.

Curated by Elly Clarke and Jessica Brouder, this is the first Clarke Gallery exhibition that will travel beyond the confines of Elly's apartment in Neukoelln but to other venues, in either her or Jessica's suitcase. The contents of the show will change gradually as it goes; sales and additions in every city will ensure the inventory is constantly in flux.

Next May, 2011, W U N D E R K A M M E R will be shown once again in Berlin, after its journey, with probably quite a different collection from now. And New York will happen for sure at some point before the Autumn.

Wunderkammer is the German translation of Cabinet of Curiosities and the show incorporates sculpture, photography, drawing, painting and performance ephemera.

Please note: Since this has been a last-minute change, Clarke Gallery will not be serving drinks, so please Bring Your Own!

Next Stop after Berlin (Volcanic Ash permitting) will be St. John's in Newfoundland. We look forward to seeing you!

CLARKE GALLERY PRESENTS:

W U N D E R K A M M E R

in Berlin

22nd April 2010, 19:30-22:00h

Friedelstrasse 52, 12047 Berlin. Bei Clarke Klingeln

EXHIBITING WORK BY THE FOLLOWING ARTISTS:

Jessica Brouder
Elly Clarke
Julian Eicke
Alexander Heaton
Liz Fletcher
Sophia New and Dan Belasco / plan b
Christian Sievers
Vajra Spook
Anna-Myga Kasten
Kym Ward
Andrea Winkler

http://www.clarkegallery.de / mail@clarkegallery.de

WIE SOLL ES AUF DAUER GEHEN; DAS MITEINANDER DER NATION?
Spent Sunday morning with handsome Daniel Hendrickson the Swedish Muslim translator to the shtars helping me organize a conceptual outline for my new stage piece Speaking From the Diaphragm which will co-star downtown legendinas Carmelita Tropicana and Jennifer Miller the famed bearded lady off Circus Amok. The sensationally handsome and talented artist Jonathan Berger will handle the costume, set and production design. This piece will premiere May 15th at PS 122 as part of the Ethyl Eichelberger Award i won. Well lets hope the Iceland Byork Volcano doesn't cramp my travel plans. We shall see just what Mama Naturrel has in mind for the Vagimule doll for springtime.
Mr. Hendrickson cooked an amazing breakfast of homemade biscuits and fritatas with his special mamosa party mix. The afternoon was major Ms. Gorgeous so we did the SonnenAlee ho stroll looking for humpy Turkish and Arab trade. Boy were the boys bursting out of their white pants. Delovely! We zoomed through Hasenheide Park and watched Ms. Nanna Heidenreich of Arsenal Experimental, her athletic gal pal DJ Olga Damnitz and Senol Senturk play a pick-up game of soccer. I have been feeling like i need some exercise, but now after watching them chase that little ball,i realize that soccer isn´t going to be the source of my becoming more physicall fit. Later Tim Blue cooked me a fabulous lemon grass, knobloch & fennel Chicken dinner that was just too perfect. Tim Blue is directing and starring in a version of Alice in Wonderland mixed with The Wizard of Oz via alien abduction for the Parkauer Theatre in Lichtenberg that will premiere in January 2011.
Headed to the Lido to see the triumphant Berlin return of Baby Diaper Joel Gibb and his Hidden Cameras merry minstral band. I havent seen them since Krems, Austria in 2008 for the Donnau Festival. What a magnificent show they put on complete with well choreographed dance moves. It was so playful and joyous that at times i was dancing along uncontrollably, then other i was crying from the heartfelt pathos of Herr Gibb´s beautiful voice and manly seductive stage ardour. The entire crowd in the auditorium were equally swept away.
In the audience the celebutant quotient was high starting with Anna Muelter from HAU, Yussi Etiman the divine Turkish guru of Basso Kollective, lovesexy artists Dean Sameshima and Austria´s beloved Mattias Herrmann who teaches at the Vienna Art Academy and has one of the largest penises in Christendom, DJ Snax, Wieland Speck of the Berlinales Panorama Section, juicy Enrico Dallman Joel Gibbs East German lover, adorable Felix Knoke of Der Spiegel Magazine with his handsome pal Jan, Edwuardo Cabra and brother Rene Perez of Puerto Rican band Calle 13, hunky actor Alex O'Loughlin & Val&Sebastian of Noblesse Oblige who were the opening act. Later i took Felix & Jan to Barbie Deinhoff´s for a nitecap and we were joined by the entire HC crew & admirers that included Alessio from bbooks and Tim Stutkin. Of course i wound up flirting shamelessly with HC drummer the humpy blondine beauty Farmer John of New Foundland. What i wouldnt do to become that boys permanent sperm receptacle.
In the morning Anna Muelter invited me for coffee and croissants at WAU Cafe, and she looked over my New York contracts. Anna is one smart, talented and highly skilled lady in matters concerning legaleeze both in Germany, the US and abroad. The director of the Hebbel Theatre Mattias Lienthal surrounds himself with a bevy of the brightest most beautiful women working in the arts in all of Europe, and Anna is one of his right hand gals. One of the wonderful aspects of working regularly at HAU is that it is a very female centered, and driven atmosphere. In patriarchal Germania that is something very rare in.

KÜSTENPANORAMEN
Forgot to mention that before going to HAU 3 i stopped at the WAU Cafe for some delicious cake and coffee. Everyone was sitting outside enjoying the lovely spring day. Ran into cute Israeli artist Imre who is the boyfriend of filmmaker Lior Shamriz. Imre is working as a film editor and part time for the WAU at the HAU 2 Foyer bar, and still occasionally bartending at Barbie Dienhoff.
I flirted with my favorite WAU waiter the tiny and sexy blondine Benny with the pretty blue eyes. Also hung out and sat next to at HAU 3 the delightful and charming curator Dorothee Wiener, with her distinguished looking male escort. Dorothee is extremely beautiful,elegant and patrician. Found out that we are both born the same year.