ECHTE HANDARBEIT
One of my wonderful pals from Los Ang the vivacious and extremely talented chanteuse Ms. Jane Cantilon sent me a lovely emug detailing all the recent exploits of collaborators like Michele “Meesh” Mills who use to work on Tyra Banks’ Americas Next Top Model TV Show, but is now a star producer of the reality TV genre. Meesh was my door gal at Bricktops and did my make-up & hair for the famous Catherine Opie portrait that is now hanging in the Guggenheim in New York. Four foot tall bombshell Selene Luna who co-stars with Margaret Cho on her new TV show also was a Bricktops door girl. I don´t have a television set so i won´t be catching their products on the boob tube anytime soon. Jane Cantilon who i have known for over 25 years is a gorgeous buxom lass with oodles of irresistible sex appeal, who refuses to age. Word to Hollywood. You don´t need plastic surgery just a youthful spirit. Jane was once a producer for Entertainment Tonight and i loved her stories of being a wild bohemian girl working in the conservative mainstream entertainment industry... When i think of Jane i am also flooded with memories of Janet Cunningham who ran C.A.S:H.- Contemporary Artist Space in Hollywood, an incredible venue in the heart of LaLa in the early 1980s. Janet would serve red beans and rice in homage to New Orleans the city she left to move to Hollywood. Lawrence Fishbourne of the Matrix film series worked as her door bitch.
Flashback: At a soiree for the Los Angeles International Exposition Film Festival-FilmX I met director Francis Ford Coppola. This was in1975 and I was a 13 year old junior high school student. Coppola became enamored of me at this party, and I got an audition for a part in his epic film Apocalypse Now. Also auditioning was Lawrence Fishbourne who i recognized from his role as a juvenille deliquent on the ABC daytime soap opera “One Life To Live”. Lawrence Fishbourne got the part. Both of us were way too young to play this small part of a vietnam era soldier. Looking back it is amazing that i met a famous film director at a party and from that i get an audition for a big budget Hollywood picture. In those days anything could happen if you were at the right place at the right time.
Even after i didn´t get the part i got to hang out a bit with Mr. Coppola. He was always a perfect gentleman and never tried any hanky panky. He introduced me to this British guy who was Christopher “Superman” Reeves. This man was a complete letch, and was all octopussy hands. He had some liver lipped black boyfriend who wore tight seemless pants that showcased his enormous endowment. Even in front of his drug addled dinge lover he was still trying to get some nuggie from me. The more i resisted the more he tried. I wasn´t attracted to him in the slightest. He looked like a squat pigeon chested version of Oliver Reed. I did enjoy that he was constantly trying to seduce me, but i instinctively knew that if i gave in he would soon grow tired of me. One time after a night out dancing at Studio One we came back to his apartment in the poor section of Beverly Hills north of the Academy of Arts and Sciences Building interrupting an orgy in progress. In the bedroom were 12 naked men all interlocked. His black lover was in the kitchen getting that giant penis of his slurped on by Sam Bottoms, the youngest of the acting Bottoms brothers. Sam was a co-star in Apocalypse Now. I had a crush on Sam´s older brothers Joseph and Timothy. I even acted in a scene with Timothy Bottoms on the ABC TV show Gideon´s Crossing in 2000, and said how i adored him in the 1973 film Love and Pain & the Whole Damn Thing where he played Maggie Smith’s college age lover.
Speaking of a Coppola, Francis Ford´s daughter Sophia Coppola was married to the director and Spiegel heir Spike Jones. Jones was a regular at Jeffrey Hillbert´s queer club Trade in the early 90s. Back then Spike was the editor of Dirt Magazine, the boy version of Sassy Magazine, and was also directing some skateboard videos. At that time he was fag about town having a homosexy love affair with this cute muscular kid with super high cheekbones named Ke, who later was signed to Elton John´s vanity record label. Ke had moved to New York, and was good friends with apple granny director Richard Glatzer(The Fluffer, Quincenera). Ke would often come back to LA to visit. The last time i saw him was when Frank Rodriguez and i had our joint birthday party at that coffeeshop bar Silver Spoon(formerly Theodores) on Santa Monica Blvd at Crescent Heights owned by the same people that run Astro Family Restaurant in Silverlake and that cute coffeeshop on Beverly Blvd near LaCienega.
When i was in my mid teens i spent a summer running around with the Australian director of the Mad Max films George Miller, who was a big drunk and coke feign. When he was in town he´d always stay at the old Westwood Marquis Hotel across from UCLA in the giant penthouse suite. He would always be chueffered in a limo. I would accompany him to parties and clubs like Backlot, The Oddysey, 9000 Sunset Blvd, and Julie´s Disco inside the Pacific Design Center. When we´d get back to the hotel, he´d suck on my raisenette titties for a while and munch on my garden salad. He was a major titty and ass freak. Thankfully he’d always pass out in a drunken stupor with his face buried up my asstrovar on the couch in the living room area so i would have the super Kalifornia King all to myself in the bedroom. I wonder what happened to him? The last movie i recall him directing was The Witches of Eastwick. I have to check IMDB to see if he is even still alive.
Getting back to Lawrence Fishbourne---later in the 80s he played the cowboy on Pee-Wee´s Playhouse, the saturday morning live action series starring PeeWee Herman. A lot of people aren´t aware that Mr. Fishbourne has a post punk past. He was a regular at nitespots like The Zero Zero, Cathay De Grande, Fake Club, The Garage (which was an amazing underground funk club inside a downtown parking garage), Haunted Studios, The Veil, and The Hideaway which was run by this cute nerdy black dude who ran a vintage clothing store next to the Vista Theatre in Silverlake. I don´t remember this guys name but since there weren´t very many blacks in the punk and post punk scenes he stood out. He was also a fashion designer and would have fashion shows at The Hideaway which would feature black models like Roach who was the lead singer of the new wave band Roach and the White Boyz. Roach was the girlfriend of Brian O’Neal the leader of the all black new wave band The Bus Boys. Does anyone remember them? The BusBoys and their music was featured in one of Eddie Murphy´s tired old movies. Eddie has always been a notorious queen and tranny chaser. Marsha Hunt the sexy black singer of the new wave band Marsha and the Vendettas,.who had a kid with Mick Jagger would also model at the Hideaway fashion shows. God it is hilarious what things i remember. The black guy who ran the Hideaway later opened another vintage store on West Washington Blvd called Checkerboard, then i heard he moved to Seattle and became a school teacher. Let´s see what other black folks were around in the early 80s: Mrs. Michael Glass who was was part of Exene Cervenka of X´s entourage and later the genius behind Amok books editing their famous Dispatch publications. I think Mrs. Glass also worked with Stuart Sweezey on the famous Desolation Center Concerts in the High Desert. The Desolation Center first brought Sonic Youth to Southern California. I was at that show which also featured The Meat Puppets and Psi-Com which was Perry Farrell of Jane’s Addiction first and best band.
Oh there was also crazy Tequila Mockingbird, of New Wave Theatre who used to hang out at the Japanese punk store Tiger Rose, and at that hair salon on Melrose that featured the German punk stylist Atila. Someone recently sent me a link of some online column that Tequila was writing. She is one of Hollywood´s best known two bit grifters. Miss Tequila does have some talent, but it is negligable. Her funniest band Krew Kuts Klan had everyone playing childrens instruments, and another music project called Trouble For Nora was her most polished. She even served a stint managing poor Nina Hagen when she lived in LA and ran some alien space plug church.
There was also Sean DeLear aka:Tony Cosmos who was part of the San Fernando Valley punk clique who was a featured performer in Brian Grillo´s Grillo´s Follies. Brian Grillo later led a band with Tom Morello before he formed Rage Against the Machine. Sean DeLear was known as the west coast lover of downtown New York cabaret star John Sex, who was a notorious dinge queen. One of the most shocking sights i ever saw was at a New Year´s Eve party at 666 Attack Gallery where Sean D was sprawled out on the dance floor having sex with Mike Ness of the Orange County punk band Social Distortion. I was so jealous because i had a major crush on Mr. Ness and wanted him for myself.
Did i forget to mention that Janet Cunningham of C.A.S.H. later became a casting agent specializing in freaks, punk rockers, drag queens & bikers. One of the biggest projects she cast was the famous punk rock episode of the TV drama Quincy starring Jack Klugman of The Odd Couple. Taking over the casting reigns of freak-a-zoids these days in Hollywood is the agency Dragon Talent run by Robin Esmeralda Cameltoe, who use to be the wife of Jake Miller aka Buck Angel the famous F2M man with a pussy. Jake was actually the one who came up with the idea and name of Dragon. Jake´s sister is a police officer and in police code Dragon means drag queen. On the east coast the colorful draq queen personality Mz. Understood runs a similar agency.
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Was straightening out some photos that i used in my installation Present Penicative and came across some provacative pics featuring two pretty teenage Hamburg hustlers i met named Thorsten and Denis back in1996 when i was performing my piece “Intimacy & Tomorrow(Stupidity, Today) as part of the Six Sex Weeks Festival at the Schmidt Theatre. These two boys were middle class kids who just hustled for kicks, and not because they needed the money. They both came from good families but were wild and wooly libertines with tight rock hard bodies and vulvic thrombones. In fact they cooked me and my then assistant Crepe Suzette Mathelson a masterful feast of Tuetonic delicacies on our last night in Hamburg.
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I´m listening to gay Congressman and Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee Barney Frank on NPR Berlin. I met Mr. Frank back in the early 1990s when i was invited to perform at the ICA Boston. After my show I was invited to a Sunday brunch at this gorgeous back bay apartment, and Ms. Frank was putting the make on every young good looking boy at the soiree. He was really a hilarious hoot grabbing at the genitals of all the pretty little boy art whores.
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Russian artist Slava Mogutin sent me a link to a web site devoted to sagging. Sagging is the urban youth phenomena where pants defy gravity, hanging low exposing underwear. I feel like sagging doesn´t go far enough. First of all these boys shouldn’t be wearing underwear. Show off those prodigious bare rumps. And what about sagging up front? Lets take that one step further and in homage to the Wilde Boyz of Weimar Germany packs of young adult males should be running around with their genitals hanging out of their pants or liederhosen so you can see right away if they are up to snuff.
NACH WILDEM SEX LÄSST ER SIE EINFACH SITZEN!
A tiny elderly woman approached me on the street. I told her my German was limited, but she paid no mind and continued talking to me in an animated way. I smiled and nodded, realizing i could actually understand her. Her short cropped white hair reminded me of Mrs. Bailey, my old Finley Arms apartment manager from when i lived in Los Feliz Village in the early 90s. My neighbors at that time were writer Dennis Cooper, and a pre-fame gangly teenaged Leo DiCaprio who would hang out at the Amok Bookstore on Vermont Avenue.
I really loved that old flat on Finley Avenue at Hillhurst above Franklin. Faustian rocker Glenn Danzig lived around the corner on Franklin in an old witchy poo looking house that suffered a lot of damage in the earthquake of 1994. The French windows in my apartment opened out to a priceless view of the Griffith Park Observatory and the smell of jasmine. My friend Lancelot Garcia, of the Ventura Homo House contingent moved into a single on the first floor of the Finley Arms. Lance worked as the manager of the Virgin Mega Store in Universal City right next to Universal Studios. Lots of celebs use to come to his store, and he gave me tons of juicy fodder for the gossip column i wrote at the time. I was the first person to break the story that Neil Patrick Harris of Doogie Hauser fame was a hornacious homo hound dog years before he was officially outed in the blogosphere and then the mainstream media. Lance had a young muscle twink friend from Oxnard with pretty green eyes who was always visiting him at the apartment. An old predatory troll lived across the hall from Mrs. Bailey, the live-in manager. This yucky man was always swooping on Lance’ pretty twink friend offering him marijuana. The geezer kept a revolving door of Asian and Latino concubines, who he constantly abused and mistreated on a regular basis. Mrs. Bailey couldn´t stand him, and neither could i. That Mrs. Bailey was really one right on old lady. She actually liked, and felt sorry and protective for the “young sweet boys” that evil queen kept. I loved her strong sense of fairness and justice. When Mrs. Bailey was young she was probably a fag hag or even had some lesbian tendancies. She looked a little like a bulldagger with her short cropped hair and no nonsense ways. She was ultra friendly with this middleaged black dyke that also lived in the building. They even went through a lesbian drama period and weren´t speaking to each other. Lance and I were Mrs. Bailey´s favorite boys along with this super cute El Salvadorean faggot.
There was also this gorgeous ginger haired man that lived in the building. He was around 30 years old,with a nice lean build and drove a 1955 Chevy. He was nice but kept to himself and had an Asian girlfriend who didnt live with him, but was around quite a bit. Of course i hated this girlfriend because she had him and i didn´t. The girlfriend always gave me dirty looks because she could tell i had designs on her hot man. A lot of people in the building would move away but always wind up coming back because the rent was so cheap and the owner of the building didnt ask for first and last rent or a security deposit which is almost unheard of in Los Angeles. My apartment was a very large single and the rent was only $320 a month.
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Michael Crichton of The Andromeda Strain, Westworld, Coma and Jurrasic Park fame died. I met him once at his palatial estate in Santa Monica. He was taller then i am, standing 6 feet 9 inches. He lived in the same neighborhood as the salt n pepper art philanthropist couple Eileen and Peter Norton of Norton Utilities. Their giant compound was basically a home museum for their contemporary art collection. Michael Crichton´s ex-wife Ann Marie Martin is the sister of Chris Teen Martin. Christ Teen is the Canadian born star of my feminine trilogy The Three Faces of Women(1991) and a co-star in Bruce La Bruce´s 1992 flick Super 8 1/2 . She is also the muse of one of my favorite sisters in the clothe Glenn Belverio aka: Glennda Orgasm of the legendary Manhattan Cable show Glennda & Friends. I´ll always remember Chris Teen introducing her brother-in-law Mr. Crichton to me saying, “and this is Ms. Davis”. I was dressed in boy drag, but he didnt miss a beat and casually said, “nice meeting you Ms. Davis”. His daughter who was just a toddler at the time and looked at me in that strange way children do when contronted with someone of dubious gender. Her mother just picked her up and said to the child that i was both a boy and a girl. Later i read about their big bitter divorce and custody battle. Ann Marie had been an actress who was lucky to marry well and become a pampered Hollywood wife. Ann Marie was sweet and pretty, and fascinated by me as one of her bohemian sisters crazy, arty friends. I think the Crichton´s were Scientologists. Now Chris Teen is a lawyer and is married to another lawyer, and lives in Bryant Park in Manhattan. But when i knew her she was a lesbian, and one of the sparkling downtown brainy beauties who performed at Jackie 60´s and was part of the Miss Kitty House of Domination clan. She was also known as Baby Annie Sprinkle because of her buxom figure and resemblance to the post porn modernist.
AUF DISTANZ HALTEN
Whatever happened to David Hayes? I don´t know why i am getting these nostalgic feelings for my past, but i am. So i won´t ignore it but will just explore where it is leading. David Hayes was this “high yeller” very light skinned black boy who i went to elementary school with. He was never referred to as “Dave” or “David” but everyone including teachers only called him “David Hayes” like the Peanuts character Charlie Brown.
David Hayes was chubby, and his pants were always falling down showing plumbers crack. He was cute with a sweet smile and rosy cheeks, but everyone hated him---teachers and students alike. I could never understand why he was so generally disliked. He was quite intelligent and had an impressive vocabulary. Looking back i gather the reason why he garnered such disaproval was due to homosexual panic. Even in fourth grade David Hayes was a bit of a perv in training. Somehow he always wound up exposing himself, fly unzipped with penis dangling.
He was also quite bold in his courtship of one kid in our class named Edward Taylor. Edward was a peaches and cream complexioned blondine, a bit goofy but completely adorable. One of the few caucasion children in my elementary school. Edward came from a large hippy-ish family of radicals who remained in the inner city during white flight. The Taylors could have easily afforded to move to the suburbs like other whites during the 60s and 70s. The family lived not far from me in a big stately three story craftsman house on Harvard Blvd not far from the home of Hattie McDaniel who was the first black to win an Oscar for her portrayal of Mammy in Gone With The Wind.
Edward Taylor´s father was handsome and tall, and looked like Robert Redford in Jeremiah Johnson. He was always wearing sandles with big gold buckles on them, and had very large feet, with toes as long as fingers. He even wore a toe ring, and had both ears.pierced. Boy did i have the hots for Edward’s dad.
Edward was an amazingly talented artist who could copy any image freehand. Edward and I were friendly with each other but not exactly friends. My mother was a major loner. She was friendly when people went out of their way to engage her, but she kept everyone at a respectful distance. I am a little bit more outgoing then my mother, but similar at my core.
Edward and David Hayes would engage in these major make-out sessions in class or on the playground. I found their little romance odd in that Edward had treated David Hayes with disdain like mostly everyone else. I was the only person who actually talked to David Hayes on a regular basis.
Suddenly they were together all the time kissing. It was very bizarre. Especially the intensity of it. Of course this did not sit well in 1971 at Hobart Blvd Elementary School. Everyone was grossed out by them, but that didn´t perturb them one bit.
Somehow David Hayes received all the brunt of the blame and Edward got off scott free. David´s mother was quite the portly pepperpot, and was always having to come to school for parent conferences which consisted of teachers and administrators complaining to her about the sexual picadilos of her son. Patti Hayes was also very light skinned, and looked like a tubby Lena Horne. She denounced the school authority figures and didn´t see anything wrong with David Hayes´s experimentations and was quite articulate in defending him.
One day David Hayes upped the fourth grade anti engaging in what i could only consider as an early sex positive performance art piece. Right next to the tetherball court David Hayes very cooly and elegantly unzipped Edwards pants, and began felating him in front of a group of girls who started to scream in protest. This became a huge scandal. I couldn´t believe that Mr. Homet the school Principle didn´t expel David Hayes.
Edward and David Hayes continued to heavy pet. Everyone just sort of got used to it. Then one day they stopped. I asked Edward why he wasn´t kissing David Hayes anymore and he looked at me like i was crazy and just shrugged his shoulders and said, “I don´t like the way he tastes”.
David Hayes tried to get me to kiss with him, but at that age i was very germ phobic, so the last thing on earth i wanted to do was swap spit with someone. I never even liked being kissed on the cheek by my mother or sisters, so i wasn’t about to kiss on the mouth with David Hayes. I rejected him nicely and he accepted it.
We actually had a lot in common. We both loved the L. Frank Baum Oz book series, and spending hours in the the public library. By the time 5th grade rolled around David Hayes had become a local TV personality starring in Student News. He would leave class early to go to KTTV Metromedia Studios in Hollywood for the daily tapings. His stardom only made the teachers and students despise him even more. His mother Patti Hayes became a casting director for television who later worked on the sci fi series Battlestar Gallactica. David wound up leaving our school in the 6th grade when he and his mother moved to the valley.
Fast forward to high school junior year, and David Hayes makes a reappearance. He looks exactly the same. Soiled unbuttoned shirts, and pants falling down showing plumbers crack. His voice remained high pitched like he had somehow managed to avoid puberty. He was still hated by everyone who came in contact with him. I was the only person happy to see him after so many years.
He caused another scandal by making a pass at some cute boy named John Plunksy who beat him up. The infamy from that incident caused him to leave for parochial school.
The last time i ran into him was when i was working at Retail Slut, the punk rock clothing store on Melrose Avenue in the early 1980s that one of my Afro Sisters Urethra Franklin aka: Helen “Bed” O’Neill owned. David came into the store on a Saturday afternoon and still hadn´t changed a bit. He was excited to see me. That particular day in the store we were visited by a number of celebrities including Andy Warhol, Cher who was a regular and bought alot of the original clothing in the boutique designed by my other Afro Sister Fertile LaToyah Jackson and Michael Jackson pre-Thriller, and plastic surgery. With all that excitement on one afternoon i have to admit that i was mostly thrilled to connect with David Hayes again. He hung out in the store all day chit chatting with Helen and Diane Paillette a wild punk girl from Ventura who was spending the summer down in Hollywood. David Hayes even went on a food run bringing us snacks and ice cream. He also bought a copy of my zine Fertile La Toyah Jackson. I could tell that he was lonely, and intrigued by my life as a punkette minx.
After that day i never saw him again.
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Yma Sumac, the Inca princess of the Andes died. They think she was 86, but no one knows for sure. She was living in an LA nursing home. Perhaps she was actually born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and re-invented herself as an exotic siren.
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The other day on the street i saw a boy who looked just like Andrew Gould, my former partner with Bricktops at the Parlour Club. I was taken back a bit, thinking that maybe Andrew was on holiday here. But the boy i saw was in his early 20s and Andrew must be hovering around 30 these days. It is hysterical how someone´s doppelganger could even possess the same mannerisms. This boy seemed so frail and fragile, and damaged in just the same way that Andrew is. Of course i found that quality very alluring about him. I took some amazing photos of Andrew during the Bricktops days. He is very photogenic. Most of the Bricktops pictures from the first few years of the club that i had in my installation Present Penicative i took with cheap disposable cameras. Remember those? Later Andrew got a tiny chocolate bar shaped digital camera for Christmas and i would use that for the last Bricky years. Some of those pics i took i used to decorate the club every week. So that people from the week before who were wearing great outfits would see themselves the next week as part of the club´s decor. It was something so simple but quite effective. I wonder what happened to those photos. I know that Andrew downloaded them on his computer, but since our relationship deterioted after the end of the club i´m sure he must have erased them. What a shame as some were quite engaging.
It has been three years since Bricktops ended. I miss those Friday nights, and i do miss Andrew. Time can heal all wounds, so i am feeling less betrayed by him now that there is an ocean between us. Can you imagine how i would have felt if we had been romantically or sexually involved. Well there was a tinge of the romantic in our friendship, though i didnt find his body particularly sexy. I really dont find ultra skinny, bony, brittle boys that desireable. I like my boys with some flesh on the mound. Andrew did have a big penis, but big dicks on too lean of a frame is such a turn off. I’ll always remember sharing a bed with Andrew and Marc “Ears” Frietas who ran my record label Spectra Sonic. “Ears” was in town to participate in VD as VB US Navy and was also part of my “Topping From the Bottom” installation at the second Platinum Oasis-La Terra Vista Dalla Luna salute to Pier Paulo Pasolini at the historic Coral Sands fist fuck Motel in Hollywood. Andrew and “Ears” hit it off bigtime. I woke up about 5am and they were going at it. If you added up those dueling dicks you´d have over 20 inches of man meat. I left the room to give them some privacy
I can admit now that i was a bit jealous that Andrew and “Ears” hooked up at my event--- in my installation room. I was probably the only person who didnt get any sex that weekend. Ah the poor hostess who can never get hers, but provides the opportunity for all the little squirrels to climb up the tree to get their proverbial “gnut”.
I still love Andrew Gould. What a bright and well read Brit. His longtime boyfriend Lenny Young prided himself in not reading books. Poor Lenny. The only thing interesting about dimunitive Lenny was his gypsy background. I was fascinated by that. Lenny was quite a strange character, and him and Andrew made such an odd couple. I could see why Lenny was smitten with Andrew, but what did Andrew get out of Lenny? When they met Andrew was around 20 and Lenny was in his mid 30s. So Andrew left his father´s home for Lenny´s home. When he came to LA he only brought a backpack with him, not even a suitcase.
I actually feel somewhat sorry for Lenny. If Andrew ever leaves Lenny, he will be hard pressed finding someone else, as he only finds young boys attractive, and would never seek a relationship with a peer. During the Bricktops days Lenny was in his 40s and was always going gaga over juicy slim white boys in their early 20s. He is one of those types of men that can´t handle being alone. I wonder if the global financial crisis has hurt his business schemes. Did he go back to being a low level producer of Hollywood movies? For Lenny to find a new boyfriend he will need lots of cold hard cash.
Oh Lenny is not so bad of a character. Sometimes he would put in great effort in trying to be sweet. It just wasn’t in his nature. Lenny Young i salute you. You will always remain a casualty of advanced capitalism.
Getting back to Andrew Gould. I do wish him well, I still love him, and i miss his awkwardness, and cute British accent.

NEGER, NEGER SCHORNSTEINFEGER
It always amazes me what things i write about in this here lady blog that really gets peoples goad. I forget that i have almost a quarter of a million daily readers. If I had a proper business sense i could use my popularity to make a better living for myself instead of being so damn 22 cents. Too bad i am not an Amanda Bearse style Lesbian careerist. Ha ha ha. Mull over that reference for a while kids.
My stream of conscience memory tales brought me a deluge of emails and even a few intercontinental phone calls. I guess i should always write in that vein.
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My collegue with kollective CHEAP Tim Blue had me over for a scrumpteous dinner at his new spacious compound in Neu Kölln where he pays a whooping 140 euro a month. Tim leads a charmed life. He is the only one i know who has had a young cute sugar daddy/boy who still is offering him free first class trips to New York to just hang out. I am sooooo jealous.
Was reading in the Hearst International Paper, the Herald Tribune about Canadian artist Marcel Dzama´s voting booth project at the David Zwimer Gallery in Chelsea.
I met handsome Marcel in Los Angeles through Wayne Baerwaldt who brought him to my Club Sucker in the late 90s. Now he is a big art star along with Fred Tomaselli who use to work at the 80s downtown LA hipster cafeteria Gorky´s. Fred use to go out with this girl artist named Miri Day who also moved to the east coast in the mid to late 80s. I wonder what happened to Miri, did she make it big in the blue chip art world like Fred. Fred was a sweetheart, but was one of those guys like artist Skip Arnold who look like they never bathe or brush their teeth. Marnie Weber was part of Fred´s downtown LA scene and she also went on to greater glories.
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I love hanging out at the American Bibliotechque in Berlin. There are always very cute students trolling about. Read an article in the Guardian about Guerrand Hermes, the Hermes heir who got arrested on an Air France flight to New York City for fighting with the planes pilot. Guerrand is one crazed son of Gaul who once grabbed my sumpteous ass while I was wearing a fetching Silvia Heisel bullet proof gown at a soiree in Manhattan for the Experimental Film Festival at Anthology Film Archives. My platonic escort for the evening was a humpy blond Canadian named Ess Vigland who got all macho and testosterone on the wealthy frog, and they both wound up in a full knock-out-sluggo. I always forget that when i am dressed in high drag, (and this particular evening i looked sensational as the late Kevyn Aucoin had beat my face) and with a hetero man, he treats me like a genetic girl and becomes affronted if another fella gives me the hairy eyeball. Having two men battling over me I felt like Jean Seberg in a similar scene from Otto Premingers Bonjour Tristesse.
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Artist, filmmaker, singer, novelist Christophe Chemin called to tell me about his big solo show in Paris where every drawing sold out in seconds. Actress Isabelle Hupert is a big fan of his writing and art work, and took him out for a private dinner. She probably got a whiff of Christophe’s giant peterficaation. I´ve heard Ms. Hupert is a major female horndog, I am so glad my little Christophe is enjoying super success. He deserves it.
Was taken out to brunch by gorgeous young French academe Maxime Cervulle( a 24 year old Phd) and his bubbly Italian partner Marco. We had a delightful time with each other, and were joined by their American friend Jean Ulrick De´sert a black artist who has been living in Berlin since 2000. Later i was treated to an incredible dinner by Scott Thomas a visiting scholar on his first trip to Berlin who works for the Getty in Los Angeles. Scott is good friends with two other academics David Gardner and David Pendleton. Scott is a veteran of my club performance days at Jeffrey Hilbert´s Hai Karate, and my own heritage club Bricktops. I spend so much time with people in their 20s that it was nice hanging with someone my age who shares the same pop culture references. Later we met up with Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim and his hot Italian lover Piero at the Kreuzberg hangout Bier Himmel for some serious dwinkin.
Went to the big opening at the Hebbel for their new festival Fressen Oder Fliegen(Art Into Theatre-Theatre Into Art) to see Susanne Sachsse and Karen Cytter´s sparkling interactive installation Guilthouse;Or The Great Fall of the Cartier Family. Ms. Sachsse and Ms. Cytter also colaborated together on the art film Der Spiegel which is also being shown right outside of Guilthouse. The two ladies are perfect sisters of the clothe as they lift a true headline story, so timely now that we are in a global financial crisis. Creating a living, breathing neurotic house of remorse and regret. The visual, sound and lighting come together in a superb fashion with stellar film performances by Frau Sachsse starring as Mrs. Cartier with a perfectly cast Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim as Mr. Cartier and a revitting Richard Gersch(Susanne´s real life 15 year old son) playing one of the doomed children. The magical Guilthouse set was built and created by the brilliant Senol Senturk who also worked on CHEAP Blacky. Guilthouse is at HAU3 so go see for yourself what everyone in Berlin is currently wrapped up in.
Later went to the grand re-launching of The Arsenal, which will now be known as Arsenal Institut Für Film und Videokunst. A very nice gala presentation coordinated by Arsenal Empress Miss Stefanie Schulte Strathaus and her crew that featured superstar actress Tilda Swinton, who has quite a history with The Arsenal and Berlin going back to 1988 when she made Caravaggio with Derek Jarman. The actress was looking lovely wearing a Katherine Hemnett pantsuit with wedgie pumps, and gave a heartwarming speech, funny and touching. I didnt get a chance to check out if she came to the event with her husband or young lover. Also a hoot was Dr. Ingeborg Berggreen-Merkel the Minister of Culture and Media, who must be the tallest woman in Europe standing at least 9 feet tall in her manish suit and flats. The reception was packed to the rafters. I was holding court at the CHEAP Gossip Studio circular bar sandwiched between Berlin cabaret goddess Zazie De Paris and Downtown New York godhead John Heys.Got to snuggle with handsome silver fox Weiland Speck of the Berlinale´s Panorama section while oggling VIP´s like experimental film legend Birgit Hein, feminist filmmaker Ulrike Ottinger with her glamorous girlfriend, and the first family of German film The Gregors. So juicy seeing vivacious scholar Nicole Wolf, lovesexy academic Nanna Heidenreich,the bbooks gang of Kreuzburg, Little Alexander the Great of Macedonia, teen writer Travis Jeppeson with his spunky lover Mario and their Porky club at Ficken 5000 posse of baby boy dyke elfettes including the post adolescent Mormen concumbine Salt Lake City Brian, famous for working A-list directors Brian Singer and Gus Van Sant with sexy DJ Snax. Had a blast flirting with Arsenal studmufffin Ulrich Ziemon and French filmmaking honeypot Guillaume, who introduced me to a rather glum Pedro Almodovar.
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Went to the closing event of Exile Gallery´s STH In Cock We Trust/Al Baltrop Pier Photographs Exhibit. I am going to miss Billy Miller of STH. It has been wonderous having his boyish energy here in bleak Berlin. Exile Gallerist Christian Siekmier definately scored a coup with this show. If i hadn´t introduced Billy Miller to Randall of the Al Baltrop Estate back in 2006 during my Bricktops Takes Manhattan spectacle all this most likely wouldnt have happened.
Film historian Marc Siegel gave an extroidinary lecture on Boyd McDonald´s Cruising the Movies that showed some film clips featuring Gloria Graham, Jane Russell, Johnny Schefield and others. Mr. Siegel gave a wonderful perspective on the genius of Mr. McDonald´s critical writing on film. McDonald’s cinema disections were purely original expressing an outsider underclass point of view. Something that some of the careerist artfags in attendance at Exile certainly needed to hear.

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The Babbitt and the Bromide
The other day i was cruised bya young boyof 18 with pouty lips and heavy dark eye lids. Of course it took me a while to realize the kid was actually cruising me. I was sitting on a bench writing, in a part of the Tiergarten that isn´t the gay section. At first i thought the youth had gotten lost from his sightseeing party. I swear i am sometimes not the brightest cookie in the porceline jar. His head twitching in my direction didn´t indicate he had some severe form OCD.
I followed him into a loosely covered grove. His clothes came off like they were stitched together with velcro. I got on my knock knees and began servicing his immense rocket shaped thrombone. I was chug-a-lugging with abandon on his perfect mushroom shaped knob, when he lifted my face up to his and began passionately kissing me. With young boys i am more then content to just worship them, not expecting any reciprocal action, let alone a makeout session.
His heavy ejaculate coated my face like a mud mask . Suddenly i was transported to my school days in Los Angeles. It is funny how a certain trick can trigger memory. Dominic Harvey was the younger brother of Parrish Harvey a girl who went to my highschool. The Harvey´s were very light skinned blacks, the same color as Vanessa Williams and with similar blue eyes and blondish brown hair.
Dominic was a 15 year old prostitute who worked off the Hollywood Blvd strip of Selma Avenue, which was made famous in the John Rechy novels. He also picked up tricks at the legendary punk rock hangouts The Gold Cup, Arthur J´s and the parking lot of teen disco Ginos II at Santa Monica Blvd and Vine. Back in those days the parking lot was divided into a girl and boy section with chicken hawks on either side depending on their preference. I don’t remember Dominic ever wearing a shirt. He had broad shoulders like a surfer dude that tapered down to a narrow waist. His stomach muscles knotted, buttocks plump yet firm squeezed into hustler white straight leg Lee Jean´s or Levi Daisy Dukes. Large rabbit feet in either Vans or shower thong flipflops. Even in winter he would roam the streets topless ---hairless torso with bullet nipples gleaming from the cold. Southern California can get chilly. I did see Dominic wearing an unzipped leather jacket, but still without a shirt.
The Harvey´s lived in an old 10-story apartment complex in Koreatown on Serrano Blvd. It was a grand old building now in total disrepair, but still possessing considerable charm. I lived on Hobart Blvd and Pico a few blocks south on the border of South Central and Mid City or Wilshire Center as it became known later.
Parrish Harvey and I weren´t friends, but we were acquainted with each other as she hung out with Linda Wong, a baby dyke who I had known since 2nd grade, who also lived on Hobart Blvd. Linda´s parents owned the neighborhood Chinese laundry and dry cleaners. Parrish, Linda and a girl named Lucy Swink were constant companions. Lucy Swink was a Hapa with a bad reputation since Junior High. In 8th grade a popular Chicano girl named Lisa Montalegre confronted Lucy with the question, “Why can´t you keep your legs closed?”
I always go for the underdog, so i befriended Lucy back in middleschool. I introduced her to Rosie Salazar and Silvia Ortiz two other girls who were outcasts.
I´ve never understood why i was popular in school. I never tried to be. I was friends with all the most admired girls like the aforementioned Lisa Montalegre, who could be a monster and ruled a clique that consisted of Dinah Bides, Elva Navarez, Estela Lara, Leticia Corral and their boy equivalents Gustava “Goose” Garcia, who had a huge penis and green eyes, Alberto Menchaca, a German-Mexican-Jew with a background similar to my own, Michael Mutsunaga.a black acting Japanese boy who was a great dancer, Herman Candejas and Alex “Abbie”Morales who turned into quite the handsome hunk by the time we started college together at UCLA.
My immediate social circle was small. My two best friends were Paul Lee, a Chinese boy with a wicked sense of gallows humour who was into David Bowie, and Roxy Music. I stole Paul away from Luis Alfaro, who later became a celebrated local performance artist and a winner of an undeserved MacArthur award, the genius grant. Yes I am still bitter about him winning a quarter of a million dollars. Guiermo Gomez-Pena was a good choice for the prize, but Luis Alfaro and Alison Anders ?
Paul and Luis had been tight since kindergarden. I met Luis first in Theatre class. Luis was already a dullard theatre queen. I quit Theatre not wanting to be in yet another holiday adaptation of A Christmas Carol, and started hanging out with Paul and Gregorio Estefano Hernandez who later i would turn into the queer punk icon Fertile LaToyah Jackson.
I remember in the mid 80s Luis coming up to me at the Outfest Gay & Lesbian Film Festival and told me that he had been following my career in the press. At that time i hadn´t seen or thought of him since Junior High. He looked pretty much the same,but cuter and boyish. Soon afterwards i would start hearing more about him as he became part of the Highways Performance Space scene in Santa Monica. Luis worked the system to the hilt, becoming a darling of the California Arts Council, more so then Tim Miller who ruled that scene. From the gossip i have heard Tim Miller is still stuck in the gay identity politics circuit. Back in the 90s there was a brilliant piece of grafitti around town that said Tim Miller = Death. Poor Luis Alfaro hasn´t aged very well. The last time i saw him he looked like my abuelita from mexico, and he wasn´t even in drag. I don´t think he does performance art anymore. Somene told me is an arts administrator.
The last time i talked to Paul Lee was perhaps in the early 90s when i lived on Sunset Blvd at the La Villa Rosa apartment building which i also used as my Hag Gallery. Paul was still living at home in the Pico Union district, and hadn´t changed one bit. His telephone number hadn´t changed either, i probably hadn´t talked to him since we were freshmen at UCLA, but i had a copy of an old At-a-Glance date book from the early 80s. And for some reason i just decided to call him on a lark, and his older brother answered and put him on the phone. He didn´t even question the fact that it had been over a decade since we last spoke. He acted like we had been keeping in touch for years.. He even knew of my exploits in the art and performance art scene. Back in the 80s i even took Paul with me to the old Theoretic Club at the One Way Leather Bar in Silverlake. This was a club that started in the afternoon and mixed hard core leather daddies with punk &post punk art damaged scenesters. I´ll always remember the look on Paul´s face when he saw some leather daddy casually fucking his lover at the bar. That was pretty much the last time i saw Paul. I figured he was too freaked out by my punk life, so i just stopped calling him. One person from my junior high school days who kept tabs on me from a far was this weird guy who was actually two grades ahead of me named James Nolan. James was half caucasion and Mexican and lived in a tiny little cardboard looking house with his white trash grandmother. In the early 80s i was a guest DJ on a public radio show, and James called me and talked about how he had seen me in Rolling Stone and Interview Magazines, had read my articles in the LA Weekly and LA Reader. I was a little freaked out. Through-out the years in LA whenever i would appear on Stella´s Stray Pop radio show James Nolan would call up to chat with me. I even noticed that he would write very verbose letters-to-the-editor in all the alternative weeklies. I got the feeling that he still lived in that same house that belonged to his grandmother and was pretty much a shut in. I can see him in that little clap house near MacArthur Park filled with cats and LPs. James Nolan was one of the first people other then Paul Lee who knew about the New York Dolls, and the Glam Rock scene, though his particular taste leaned more to Elton John. This reminds me also of this strange black kid with a jheri curl named Busby Baloys. What a name. How wonder i have never forgotten it. Busby not only went to Berendo junior high with me but also Los Angeles High School. This guy was a complete character and pathological liar, who was always telling grand tales about his family weath and fortune. Our paths crossed again in the early 90s. He started going to Jeffrey Hilberts club Hai Karate at this Japanese gay bar called Mugi on the east end of Hollywood Blvd. He hadn´t changed one bit, and was still wearing his hair in a jheri curl and telling outlandish lies. This time he was going under the name of Christian, using a fake British accent and was saying he was adopted into the family that owns the Jaguar luxury automobile. One thing that also didnt change was that he was still a faggot. He started hanging out with one of my club Sucker regulars named Chris Ganzer, who is one of the most goofiest white boys in the world. Chris really liked Busby and was a true friend to him. I asked him didn´t his constant lying get on his nerves. He just shrugged his shoulder and said that he was amused by all the tall tales. I guess Busby was living on skid row at a Single Room Occupancy hotel, as he would never let Chris drop him off directly at home after an evening out.
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Billy Miller of STH, the Manhattan Journal of Unnatural Acts in now in Berlin for his monthly residency at the new gallery Exile that is run by artist Christian Siekmieir. Billy is one of my favorite New York personalities, and is a pure genius. We spent a lovely day in Neukölln oogling Turkish and Arab men, and i showed him the gay cancer shelf in Hasenheide Park. The weather was nice and warm, and we both had bikes and rode about blissfully. Bill relayed to me a lot of the latest New York gossip, and even some stories about people from Los Angeles like Jason El Norte, who i gather finally got fired from his day job as a law clerk , and is now working full time as a highprice male concubine. One of his steady clients is pop singer and songwriter Neil Sedaka who flies him out to the east coast for regular hump therapy sessions. I like Jason, he is a true libertine, and not only does he have sex with men but also with women. Jason has a cock that would make a donkey blush. I think he is in his early 30s now, but still gives off a boyish imprint because of his lean frame. I even diddled with Jason years ago when i met him on tour with Margaret Cho back in 2001, when performing in Minneapolis/St.Paul. When Jason moved to LA i hired him as a spastic taxi dancer for my club Bricktops
Was treated to drinks at Frankenstein 5000, aka: Ficken 3000 in Neu Kölln by Tim Blue, and ran into hot buttery lovers Travis Jeppeson and Mario Dzurila along with the Mormen Courtesan Brian, who use to be lovers with Hollywood directors Gus Van Sant and Bryan Singer. They were meeting with the salty dog owner of the bar, and are going to do a weekly party at this space which is in dire need of youthful rejuvenation. Their club will debut on Sunday Nov 2nd and goes by the name of Porky´s. Their gogo boys will all wear pig snouts.
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Had to rush home from the HAU2 where i saw La Pesca by Sportivo Teatral from Buenos Aires. The set was nice, but the piece was very much the kind of theatre that America made famous in the 30s through 50s. I can understand Spanish, but Argentine Spanish with it´s Italian cadence is a bit difficult, but it didnt matter.
Nice seeing Anna Muelter, Alessio of bbooks, Senol Senturk who is building the Guilt House installation for Susanne Sachsee and Karen Cyter, Katrin Dodd, and Mijke Harmsen Got home and my hot German boyfriend was waiting for me naked and sprawled out. We got into an argument a few days ago over the fact that he doesnt have a key to my flat. So to keep the proverbial peace i gave him a key. It was something so simple but it sure made him happy, the young fool.
I must be exuding some weird theremones lately. I was sitting outside of the American Library on a bench, when a beautiful, well built young blondine boy started cruising me quite provacatively. I was aghast. In broad daylight he started to grab at my crotch. I´m a grower not a shower, so when he didnt feel anything of substance he lost interest and walked away.

LA PRINCESSE DE CLEVES
Jenny Lumet the daughter of director Sidney Lumet (Dog Day Afternoon) and granddaughter of Lena Horne has written the screenplay to the new Anne Hathaway film Rachel Gets Married directed by Jonathan Demme. I use to run with Jenny back in the 80s in the downtown New York scene. Back then she was a high stepping "It" girl, dabbling in this and that. I heard she became a Jr. High school teacher a few years ago, but now she is getting a lot of acclaim with this movie. I'm sure i will run into her again, perhaps at the Berlinale in Feb 09.
Buck Angel aka: Jake Miller aka: Laura when he was a female fashion model is the subject of a new sculpture by Marc Quinn, the British artist who has also immortalized Kate Moss. Mr. Angel, is becoming the most notorious Female to Male Transexual. I go way back with Buck Angel, the man with a pussy who i still call Jake. As Jake he was married to Mistress Ilsa Strix, aka Dizney aka Karen, the famed dominatrix i use to work with at her house of Domination in Los Feliz. Back then i used the dom moniker of Mistress Veronika V'Interest.
Mistress Ilsa is now married to male to female transexual director Larry Wicholski of the Matrix trilogy.
Last night i went to John Heys Singt at the Kino Arsenal. Mr. Heys is the legendary downtown NY figure who has lived in Berlin since the mid 1980s. John was part of Charles Ludlam's Ridiculous Theatre, muse and lover of famous art photographer Peter Hujar and the first editor of the activist magazine Gay Power from 1969 that featured the earliest photos of Robert Mapplethorpe.
The best of the films screened was The Moroccan Bride 1979, that John made with Andrew Horn, who also directed the Klaus Nomi documentary. Moroccan Bride is an experimental short subject that is sumpteously photographed, lyrical and haunting. John made another short in 2000 that has to be one of the finest meditations on AIDS ever filmed. It parallels John's life as an AIDS survivor with that of a 92 year old German woman named Frau Conrad. It was fantastic seeing John Heys work from decades ago, and also his most recent projects. John Heys is a gay treasurer, and someone you all in the blogosphere should do research on and learn from, and that includes you know-it-all academics who are looking for an interesting subject to write your thesis on. Stop writing about me, and write about John Heys.

VOUS FAITES PARTIE DE MOI

Suzi Su aka the delicious Susanne Sachsse, the fearless leader of kollective Cheap had a yummy omlette bruncheon at her spacious eastside compound.  Its always a delight to be at the famous table of Frau Sachsse.  I cant wait to see her playing Little Red Riding Hood at the Parkauer Theatre, and everyone is talking about her collaborative installation The Guilt House with Karen Cytter, an Israeli artist who is like a younger more neurotic version of Tracey Emin.  Look for The Guilt House at the HAU in November.

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Its way too easy to dismiss dance theatre as pretentious.  I was expecting pure agony watching the premiere of Dvant, the living in a big way production that is part of the Sasha Waltz and Guests invective at the Radialsystem V, the new space for the arts in Berlin off the Spree River in Freidrichshein.   I was pleasantly surprised by this somewhat uneven piece, but couldnt ignore the sheer muscularity and power of the Gregorian boy band headed by Juan Kruz Diay de Garaio Esnaola, Sidi Larbi Cherkaiui, Luc Dunberry and Damien Jalet who is the latest fiance of my blood of Abraham son Assaf Hochman.  What a Denishawn evening it was.

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Went with film historian Marc Siegel to the Rise Gallery in Neukolln to see Christophe Chemins solo show Jeder fur sich und Gott gegen alle which in English is Each for themselves and God against everyone.  This beautiful installation of  macabre color pencil drawings features children of the korn, feral hellmound doggies, fallen sparrows and deluse a daize  straight outta the cauliflower sphincter of Verlaine.  M. Chemin is one super original hot French chick.

Later we wound up in Wedding to catch the opening of art photog Annette Fricks Casa Baubou salon.    Treated to a moving performance from legendary jazz bassist Sirone of the Revolutionary Ensemble, and his gorgeous wife who read an audience member for not paying attention.  The bros Blue, Tim and kJohnny showed radiant musical charm with violin and cello, and a poetry reading from Sissy Tax.   Making the scene sizzle  Susanne Sachsse and her lovely 15 year old daughter Salome Gersh, Evi  Russler, Boris the famous raw foods chef, with his Irish gal pal Rochelle, writer Travis Jeppeson and Slovakian beau Mario, Aastin Brooks and Nadine, Christian Siekmieir of Exile Gallery, cinematographer Michel Belague and his Paris posse,  and Matt Helders the cute drummer of the Artic Monkeys.

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Invited to yummy chicken dinner by Tim Blue, and the sexy young son of Patrick Duval of the Zanzibar movement was the surprise guest.  Wow!!!!

DIE KATZE AUF DEM HEIßEN BLECHDACH
Sad news to report. The legendary Hollywood actor Paul Newman died at age 83. One of the things i´ve always admired about Mr. Newman was that he was able to keep his sexual proclivities with men hidden from the press. He was married for 50 years to actress Joanne Woodward, who couldn´t care less that her handsome blue-eyed husband was a wild and wooly ganymede. My favorite picture that he directed was The Affects of Gamma Rays on Man in the Moon Marigolds that starred Ms. Woodward and their daughter Nell Potts, which was made back in the early 1970s.
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Last nights Rising Stars, Falling Stars was utter delirium. Everyone was enjoying the early D.W.Griffith films from his Biograph Pictures period. The movie A Corner in Wheat from 1909 seemed very appropriate considering the global financial collapse that we are in the midst of. The bread lines pictured in this film foreshadowed the Great Depression, and I am sure there will be new breadlines forming soon, so mark your place in line. Received lots of compliments about my introduction where i started the proceedings by talking about D.W. Griffith being problematic. The race issue concerning the film The Klansman aka: The Birth of a Nation is not widely known in Germany, nor the black/white connundrum of the old south. I brought these issues out in a humorous, whimsical way instead of being all dogmatic and preachy which isn´t my style. I successfully got my point across. The D.W. Griffith screening seemed to resonate even more with some black visitors in the audience. Notably the young South African artists Athi-Patra Ruga and his adorable assistant Skyyy Berkowiz, who zeroed in on my handsome young German escort Uli, who is one of the most charming, intelligent and major Ms. gorgeous men in Berlin if not all Europa. Turning heads as only a big sexy black buck of a jubas jubilee can was the LA fashion designer Cornell "Wilde" Collins. Who just moved to Berlina. Mr. Collins is a friend of Laurie Pike who use to be my editrix when i wrote for her fashion mag Glue. Standing next to the super hot Mr. Collins had my usually dry fidgetty pussy getting all wet with black on black desire. For my lady cooze to start activating means Mr. Collins must be packing some mighty ganormous peni. Miss Skyyy was also getting hornific over him, but alas I am sure he does not share his giant genitals with us of the fairer sex. Also seen shmoozing: experimental film guru Wilhelm Hein and his galpal, the art photog Annette Frick whose Vetting salon Casa Baubou , Seestrasse 107 will host a special jazz dada event Saturday Oct 4 at 8pm. Speaking of major happenings Christian Siekmieir and his art posse was also flitting about. Mr. Siekmieir is opening his brand new Exile Gallery Saturday Oct 18 7-10pm with a double bill of the pier photos of Al Baltrop and Billy Miller of Straight To Hell presenting In Cock We Trust. This is a must see. Mr. Miller will be in Berlin for a residency and will also host a program that is part of the 3rd Annual Porn Film Festival. The rest of the interracial flirten, sexen and dwinken set included artist Maggie Schneider, filmmaker Dan Borden, Tilemachos "Alexander the Great" Alexiou with his pretty gay acting straight friend I-can-cope Julian, feminist cineaste Evi Rüssler, actor Sam Riley (Control),Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras showing off his hairy masculine chest, Downtown NY legend John Heys, the HAU theatre´s Anna Muelter, Lt. Commander Nanna Heidenreich with Empress Stefanie Schulte-Strathaus,composer Eunice Martin who played gloriously during the screening especially the last film An Unseen Enemy 1912 featuring the Gish Sisters, Dorothy and Lillian. The Blue Brothers kJohnny and Tim who will accompany the next Rising Stars presentation in November for the grand re-launch of the Arsenal which will feature a Felix the Cat animation salute. Daniel Hendrickson the Scandanavian Muslim and film historian Marc Siegel.
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I caught a bit of a cold Saturday night watching the performance installation of HAU Jugend group Fight Club and Gugulective of South Afrika. What a great partnering this was and i delighted in seeing my Fight Club kids: Antonio Ciervo, Clea Funke, Alse Gül Var, Mina Stöhr, Domi Grillenberger, Jenny Patzke, Sergen and Elvin.
Also got to see the standout video installation Ukugenisa by the statuesque South Afrikan beauty Nandipha Mntambo. This was probably the best piece in the festival for all the questions that it brought to the surface. As part of an ongoing project where Ms. Mntambo will go through the process of becoming a female toreodor. Brilliant.

. . .OF BUGCHASERS AND THE WATUSSI FAGHAGS
The elfin South Afrikan artist Athi-Patra Ruga lives in a fricasse vortex of his own design caught somewhere between Middle-sex and the Marvelous Land of Oz. An Oz derived from the famous L.Frank Baum series of books (circa 1900-1919) and not the MGM technicolor extravaganza.
The opening night of Whydeboyz . . . If You Say it Fast Enough was pure testicle. Delicious in its utter zaniness. With a special guest appearance via video of long on the tooth blue movie ingenue Marcel Schlutt as the floating signifier in flagrante da-grante alongside the artist. Both donn gorgeous celebrity masks, and Mr. Ruga is resplendid in a Girlhunt Ballet gown of his own design ala Cyd Charisse in Vicente Minnelli´s The Bandwagon. Except this time its bouncing bitch tits during a rambunctious plowing. Special note should also be made of Tilemachos "Alexander the Great" Alexiou as a spot on Maria Callas contributing to the general "Ben Affleck" of the proceedings.
Mr. Ruga is certainly one young artist we will be anxious to follow.
On the social note, seen shmoozing and boozing after the HAU 2 event: The wonderful Anna Muelter, vivacious curator Ms. Stefanie, statuesque Mijke Harmsen, lovely Katrine Dodd, baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, effervescent Skyyy Berkowiz, Kiki Montpernesse aka: Kristian Petersen who contributed to editing and filming some of the performance video footage. Also ran into, and was treated to drinks by sweet Scottish Arts Counsel honcho David Leddy and his wonderful beau who are in Berlin on holiday.

PRESQUE RIEN
The lure of the negresse is her adeptness at the sexual arts. She represents danger, a sexual passion capable of satiation and consumption, the literal siphoning off of life through the draining of precious seminal liquor.
Thats basically what my hot, enormously hung German lover told me recently. Well, not exactly in such poetic terms. His big white Nina Blanchard panties are all in a bunch because his wife and I get along better then i do with him.
His spouse is very worldly, and is not troubled in the least by my affair with her husband. They have two small children, and frankly she is only married to him because he gave her pretty babies, and is independently wealthy, so she lives a secure lifestyle. When i first met him i told him i could only be with him if his wife knew about us. He just wanted to carry on behind her back in a traditional melodramatic manner. He is only 28 years old, and i am 400 which makes me too old to be somebodies mistress. So i boldly marched up to his Mrs and told her everything, and without missing a beat, she gave me her blessings.
I am only interested in him because of that giant lug between his legs. The man genitals are beyond impressive. His personality is a bit stilted in that stereotypical teutonic fashion.
Lately he´s gotten all weirded out by the unconventional nature of the relationships. I keep telling him, "well lets end it then." He doesn´t want to do that either, as he´s now too wrapped up in the Doll, and her race horse arse. I think i have properly assmatized him.
With these European men you have to give them a little then pull back. It drives them gnuts. Enough about my love life, i can´t believe i´ve been this revealing.
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A reader from Boston wrote congragulating my scoop on the relationship of movie ingenue Anne Hathaway(The Devil Wears Prada) and her no account playboy embezzler ex-beau Raffaello Fallieri. If you remember, i broke the story of their initial pairing here in this very blog. I also said that Mr. Fallieri was a crook and hornpiglet. I knew this firsthand from my own dealings with him sniffing at my gnarly hole years ago in New York. A few mainstream new sources actually gave me some credit for breaking the story which was nice and certainly unexpected.
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I also predicted this international global financial crises back when i was still living in Los Angeles. My lady intuition is always spot on. I inherited my Daisy Gamble powers from my Louisiana born Creole mother.
Are you ready for some more beheading of the prophet? Well i am going to give it to you whether you want to hear it or not. Here goes: The US will plunge even deeper into a depression. Not like the one in the 1930s, this one will be different but equally devastating. The Republicans will win the presidency. McCain will die in office, and Ms. Palin will become the first fremale president. If by chance by prediction is in-correct, and Obama wins. Senator McCain will still kick the proverbial bucket and Mr. Obama will be assassinated six months into office.
As the Whoracle of Delphi i only bring misfortune telling.

ÜBERLEBENSSTRATEGIEN IN TROPISCHEN METROPOLEN
Went to the opening party of the Performing South Afrika Festival at Hebbel Am Ufer last night. Very festive with all the boisterous Afrikans like bubbly Yoland Zenith Swales aka: Skyyyy.
I adore this wo-man, whose fiance is a white Jewish South African banker. Miss Swales is converting to Judaism, but is already a black Jewish princess par exellence.
Skyyy is officially the assistant and minister of information to young, energetic artist Athi-Patra Ruga. Mr. Ruga will be creating a little erotic film that will be part of his performative tryptic. HAU´s pretty Mijka Harmsen procured for him the services of blue movie star Marcel Schlutt, who is also one of the stars of Bruce LaBruce´s latest film Otto-Up With Dead People, which will be screened for Halloween at MOMA in New York.
Joining in the crisp outdoor frivolities and munching on delicious WAU Cafe ravioli: the baby diaper himself Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, with silver foxx paramour Weiland Speck of the Berlinales Panorama Section, Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim, it girl Anna Muelter, Miss Stephanie the curator of the Festival, the cute kids of Fightclub, the Hebbel´s jugund theatre group who are working with the South Afrikan art kollective Gugulective, Amazonian beauty Nandipha Mntambo who created the video Ukungenisa that plays in the foyer of HAU Zwei.

THIS BRUTAL SONIC
All my Nuyorican readers please go see Brian Kenny´s first solo art show "Targets & Etchings at the 5+5 Gallery, 111 Front Street at Dumbo in Brooklyn. The exhibit will be on view from Sept 18-Oct 30th. Brian usually collaborates with his hot Russian lover, Slava Mogutin on projects, but this time he is on his own and it should be quite a delight, as Brian isn´t just an overwhelmingly beautiful young man with big suckable feet and large unruly penis, but is quite a youthful art talent and complete sweatheart. Most gay boys with his looks are arrogant and obnoxious, but Brian is softspoken, dear, hyper masculine and uber butch realness without coming across as too affected.
***
Miss Skyyyy the bubbly and effervescent assistant to South Afrikan artist Athi-Ruga cooked a glorious din din the other night. The buck wildness continued until the wee hours. Lots of screaming, laughing and hollering plus Anna Muelter of the HAU who is the production coordinator with Athi´s project, baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, Catherine Sullivan dancer Assoff Hochman, Alexander the Great and his French cotillion and some fellow South Afrikers who are part of the festival at Hebbel celebrating South Afrikan art and artists. I´m going to the opening party later tonight-yowza!

STRICTLY DICKLY
The change of seasons as usual made me sickly the last few days, so i missed a bunch of exciting happenings like Nanna Heidenreich´s birthday blast in Friedrichshain and the going away soiree for Sabina of Neu Kölln. Sabina is the dear sweet lesbian ex-roommate of Kjohnny Blue and she is off to Thailand for a sabbatical. I was also too ill to attend the solo show of Christophe Chemin´s latest drawings at the Rise Gallery in Neu Kölln. Saturday i felt better and took a long bike ride out to Dallum, where i caught glimpse of a bubble butt, thick thighed blondine boy---yummy!!!!! Later in the afternoon i met with Anna Muelter of HAU for drinks at Melitta Sundstrum with the Johannesburg artist Athi-Patra Ruga who will be presenting his tryptic performance piece Whydeboyz on Sept 25 at HAU ZWEI. Mr. Ruga and his delightful companion, the South Afrikan curator Skyye were a joyous hoot as we scared away all the Germans eating al fresco with our loud auslander rambunctiousness. Can´t wait to see this performance which will also feature the beautiful Greek passive boy Alexander the Great singing a Maria Callas aria in baritone.
Later in the evening the baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras came over to the Cheese Endique Trifecta for a visit. Of course Mr. Gibb had spent his latest tour fornicating left and right with a variety of well endowed men. Check out the Hidden Cameras interview in the sex issue of Attitude Magazine, the sad British fag glossy.
Joel talked me into returning to Melittas for a night cap. We ran into Ricardo of the popular weenager danceclub Berlin Hilton, who was doing a version of his party with the people who do Proxi at the Schwuz. He invited us to come in, so we did and ran gob smack into Mr. Ruga who is a big Hidden Cameras fan. It all was becoming a little tedius, as Berlin nitelife sometimes can be, so we all decided to flee, and ran into another Hidden Cameras fan who told us gossip about the Melitta Sundstrum Cafes baldheaded owner, whose ex-lover opened up the bar next door, appropriately named Drama for spite. This young gossipeuse also said the owner of Melitta refuses to hire women, preferring his staff to be young hot boys of the well-endowed persuasion. I feel like i am giving you too much information.
***
Last night had a sumpteous feast prepared for me by Piero Bonnehomme of the Piero Collezione with his lover Daniel Hendrickson the Scandanavian Muslim. Piero also showered me with lots of swag from his latest season of separates and houseware items.
***
Ms. Vaginal Davis can make a mistake! Yes the doll isn´t perfect. It was pointed out to me by fans of this very blog that I misspelled the name of Julien Nitzberg, the writer and filmmaker from Los Angeles. I have gone back to the offending items of a few days ago and made ammends and updated some of the information. Its also been leaked to me that Mr. Nitzberg may have his new film premiered at the Berlinale and wants la diva as his date. I hope that doesnt get me into any trouble with Franka Potente.

THE WORLD´S MOST GRUESOME MONSTER
An old friend sent me a blog link with an interview with an old collaborator of mine from the 1980s named Tim Hensley. Tim use to have an incredible band called The Victor Banana and they played with my group The Afro Sisters on more then one occasion. I even had a bit of a crush on Tim, that culminated in a little platonic romance for half a minute. I always wondered what happened to him. He was an odd one. Look who´s talking.
Anyway he is now a cartoonist like his friend Dan Clowes, he even did the soundtrack to Clowes´graphic novel Like a Velvet Glove Cast in Iron. Tim´s father is the keyboard player for Neil Diamond. Tim is a genius. The pics i saw of him on the web showed that he is now fat, middleaged looking and married. Will write more, but i am out of time at this tired internet cafe.

BASQUE INVECTIVE
A New York Times columnist recently emailed me asking my opinion about the young filmmaker Brian Hecker. At first that tag didn´t ring any Gregoriac bell jars, then i remembered that i gave Mr. Hecker the nickname of Beautiful Baby Brian when he first became roommates with top movie costume designer Susan "Crepe Suzette" Mathelson. Suzette really believed in him, and was doing everything in her great power to propel his career in the mainstream industry. I was always a little wary of BBB thinking that he was a user taking advantage of the Crepe´s vast generosity. The cynic in me feels that if an attractive, much younger man is living rent free with a successful older woman in her lavish Hollywood Hills home, he had better be giving her fierce goodies on an hourly basis. Suzette helped him with his AFI graduate thesis film Bart Got a Room which starred William H. Macy, and that flick did well at all the festivals and has propelled him to a place where he is now working on a biopic of Atari founder Nolan Bushnell, that will get released through Paramount and star A-lister Leonardo DiCaprio. The buzz i´ve heard even here in Germany is that all of Hollywood is a-ga-ga. Baby Brian goes through Asian women like cleenex, and you know the old adage: white guy who does Asian chicks is a closet homosexual. Brian collaborated on an installation at my big arts festival Platinum Oasis years ago, and was quite the hornpig. In the big picture window of his installation motel room he put on quite a sex show with a nubile young Asian lass. He was trying to lure an uber humpy Swiss male artist into the room for a hot buttered threegy, but to no avail.
I just hope that now he has become a hot property in LaLa-landia he pays Suzette back by hiring her to do the costumes for all his films. Something tells me that now that he´s successful, it will be later days sweetie! I hope not.
Another old LA pal Julien Nitzberg, who i met when he was one of my Cal Arts Students, has become tight with actor Johnny Knoxville, who is funding his full length documentary, The Wild and Wonderful Whites of West Virginia about Jesco White and his family of tap dancing Elvis impersonators. Johnny Knoxville is Julien´s new BFF. Another famous Johnny, namely Johnny Depp will produce Julien´s Tiny Tim script that will star John Turturro as Tiny Tim. I think Mr. Turturro is a little long on the tooth to play the lead. Tiny Tim wasn´t exactly a spring Chicken during his famous heyday in the late 60s, but i think a younger actor playing him would be better, though i can´t imagine who.
***
The other day i went to Frankenstein 5000 in Neu Kölln and was approached by a man i will call "The Beard" who was proud of the fact that before coming to the pub, he downed a whole bottle of Vodka, and wasn´t intoxicated. Newsflash! He was very much intoxicated. Thats sexy Berlin for you.

 BRIEF VON ZU HAUSE
Just received some sweet emugs from some pals of mine in the states.  Hope you enjoy them.

o daughter of the sour grapes,
i hear you on the no day job/no dinner trip. i think the solution is hustling,
but without the barnes patheticness. those kind of highways workshops are
pathetic, and even more so when they're gimmicky. if someones serious about vocal
training they need to do time with juliana, not some group singalong session.
i can't wait to travel and get out of here. funny when you think of people who
work hard like XXX but are too cheap and paranoid to enjoy it really... and
why worry about the mrs? as judy says, what's she clinging so dearly to life
for? did you see that peter berlin documentary? he's tooting his horn about
still being alive, then sort of reflects that he's the only one left and not
enjoying the decomposition process. i wanted him to be more interesting but it
was a slice of life.
Ms. Fudge is married to a tall, handsome ginger headed man, very masculine,
who's wrapped up her fat black ass. she's so into it she moved to long beach to
live with him about 6 or so months ago. she's the ultimate late bloomer. and i
don't think she's had anything to do with the mr. dan lot for years, though she
still does her thurs. dirty dirty house club at akbar. she came to the
performance showcase we did, and the little going away dinner party i had for
franko. its good to see her on the high horse.

can't wait to see prof. doyle, and yes that man of hers was tearin it up.

i'll get some pics online so you can see what our students did, heather of toxic
titties got super butch with cars racing around her in a dusty field and did a
fight choreography routine, the dust like heavy fog, dramatic car headlights,
was like dude art ramped up. and manuel did a series of poses naked with women,
and then ended it standing up with this young trannygirl holding his cock while
he took a long piss. and a dyke did a piece where she climbed out of the
skylight in a silver airstream trailor turning into chicken coop, dropped to the
ground, crawled through a trail of dog dukey (with a thick tubing unit up her
ass), and disappeared into a bathtub. dukey, piss, pussy, we had it all.

what else is there really? besides money, drugs, and extravagant fox furs?

warm daddy love
***
Hey Ms. Davis, New York was super fun.  the highlite had to be
the sex party in Kenny Sharfs glow room.  his studio is this giant
warehouse in Brooklyn, the basement of which he turned into a black
light room with all of his sculptures painted glow-in-the-dark.  I
guess he just started having sex parties there, just for his voyeur
pleasure, he didn't take part.  I didn't mind him watching as some of
the hottest big dicked twinks in New York showed up for some
psychedelic fun.  mushrooms and acid were being passed around like gum
drops.   a number of the guys there I'd hooked up with before, this
was not surprising as the gay new york scene in particular is raging
with hormones.  There was this one boy I had sex with last year there
who is sooo dreamy, I'm not really into hairy guys but he's sexy, a
true "otter".  He's got a really thin and tight built body that you
can tell just recently started growing hair (and lots of it!)  every
inch of his body is covered in dark thick woolly mammoth fur, except
for his ass hole which is super smooth. i remember fucking him about a
year ago and it was so perfect- and smelly and manly... at the party
we just exchanged blowjobs because apparently he has a boyfriend or
something now.  Later I spent what had to be about two hours drooling
on one of the biggest Jewish penis I've ever seen.  OMG it was so big,
the head just seemed to get bigger and bigger as he throbbed harder
and harder...  There was no way I could take it on my own so luckily
there were a few others who didn't mind helping.  but the party really
 got started when 4 of us took turns fucking some super hot
tall hung Scottish dude.  it was classic, the guy must have been
holding his load for weeks before the party because he came about
fives different times while we were all fucking him.  I came in his
mouth which he eagerly swallowed.  one guy really wanted to creme in
his asshole but the scottish guy wouldn't let him.   Instead he just
ended up just cumming on his hole which was pretty hot, and provided a
nice juicy lubed hole for me the next time around.  after that I was
messing around with some kid who had to be a young 16, some art
student who was obviously there because Kenny was throwing the party.
He was pretty shy but had a beautiful soft penis and his cum tasted so
fresh.  We just 69ed for a while and then he fucked me and came in my
mouth.  and then even later in the night me and this other swimmer guy
were flip fucking for what seemed like hours..  I've got to say, I am
generally skeptical of anything that touts itself as a "sex party" but
this one really came through.  there were none of those old trolls
that usually swarm like a pack of flies to shit at the phrase "sex
party". nope, none of those nasty fat old men rubbing their cocks on
any centimeter of hot young flesh they can brush up against without
asking.  Ugh!  i HATE that.  there were even some nice girls there.
there was a dj so there was a lot of people were dancing and what not
as all the sex happened.  as people entered the party they all took
off their cloths and were painted by Kenny or others with glow in the
dark paint.  it was a pretty hippie/jungle gesture but ended up
looking cool.  and all of our cum glowed in the dark:-)

22 CENTS
My nephew and his wife live in Alaska, got an email from him that the Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin and her preggers teenage daughter Bristol Palin are very sweet. My nephews oldest son is good friends with Bristol´s boyfriend Levi Johnston, who is a very light skinned black boy in the Wentworth Miller mulatto tradition. I bet the mainstream press haven´t picked up on that little item yet. But give them time,I´m sure they will.

MARY SHELLY´S SHALLAC
Only in Berlin kids, only in Berlin! Today i saw three, count em three! beedy eyed, in-bred Frankenstein monsters while riding my bike running errands . Two were quite young, and one was middle aged with the requisite brain surgery scar tissue. The only thing that was missing were the bolts in the neck and the elevator shoes----scary.

L´IMPORTANT CÉST DA`IMER
Exhausted from spending the last four days August 28-31st at the Sun Screens Summer experimental film festival at Kino Arsenal in Potsdamer Platz. Lovely Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Nanna Heidenreich and their glorious hardworking crew put on this wonderful highly ambitious end of summer event, which was very successful.
It all reminds me of the Get That Gnut, Filmy Films & Electronic Cinema Festy that i created and curated at the Re-Solution Gallery with Lawence Elbert(Days of Pentacost) in Hollywood back in the mid 1990s. There were no experimental film festivals in LA at the time so we were grave digging from scratch with absolutely no budget. Looking back i sure must have been a certified loonster to take on such a big project. What we were doing at the time was so novel, that we got a lot of good press and huge crowds. I kept the programming fairly simple only having screenings in the evening and keeping all the programs brief. Even with short subjects, it is a necessity to make sure that nothing lasts longer then 30 minutes tops. People in LA have notoriously short attention spans bordering on ADD.
I also invited academics who don´t get enough attention from the academy to give consise lectures. I provided them with the themes, and told each one that if they were verbose and went past their alloted time, I´d humiliate them by kicking them off the podium with the old vaudeville hook. That threat kept them all in line and focused, plus i was providing them with an expanded audience outside of their usual university grift.
Perhaps with the help of Anna Muelter i can re-adapt the concept for Berlin and do a traveling Get That Gnut that takes audience groups to different artists and filmmakers flats for screenings. Tim Blue has also expressed an interest in doing something along these lines. But getting back to Sun Screens. The opening night was exciting with a book and dvd launch for Christine Noll Brinckmann. I especially loved seeing her shorts West Village Meat Market from 1979 and Dress Rehearsal & Karola 2 from 1981. I was impressed with a a young Karola Gramann of Uberhausen and The Asta Nielsen Foundation wearing jelly shoes, and looking somewhat Annie Hall-ish. Sitting next to me in the theatre was cute young film scholar Christiane F. Weber, who wasn´t even born when these movies were made.
The next evenings highlight was a program of works by my Cheap collegue Tim Blue along with his friend Paul Rowley. Tim & Paul have been co-conspirators for many years and cross polinate each others work. Paul is from Ireland and is the darling of the Irish Arts Counsel, and his movies and film installations have garnered lots of recognition internationally.
Saturday as part of the big Benefit for Kino Arsenal my monthly silent film survey, Rising Stars, Falling Stars morphed into a spectacular gala, with a special magical rooftop garden presentation that made the top of the Sony Center come alive. As i was getting my face beat, members of the public were invited to become junior papparazzo and take poloroids of me that were auctioned off to the highest bidder. I couldn´t believe that my pics sold more then Isabella Rossellini´s Berlinale ID badge. Later all the Cheapies including, Mark Siegel, Daniel Hendrickson, the Blue Bros. Tim & Kjohnny and the divine Susanne Sachße, who is starring in a new movie directed by lesbian feminist Maria Beatty contributed to the live soundtrack of Germaine Dulac´s La Souriante Madame Beudet.
Seen mixing it up under the spell of a moonlit night: Maggie Schneider who did the installations in the foyer of the Arsenal, artist Marie Cusre, filmmaking gamine Marie Losier who closed the festival with a screening and discussion of her hilarious shorts The Touch Re-Touched, the Passion of Joean of Arc, Lunch Break on the Xerox Machine, and Manuelle Labor featuring Guy Maddin´s hands. Director and actor Lajos Talamonti with documentary theatre kingpin Hans Werner Krösinger, tranny legendina Zazie De Paris,experimental writer/musician Mario Mentrup, video artist Judith Hopf, Cynthia Beatt the 80s Berlin filmmaking legend and best friend with actress Tilda Swinton, Angela Melitapoulos, Heinz Emigholt, The Florians: Wüst and Zeyfang, the poet Ines, Ute Aurand & Johannes, Wilhelm Hein & Annette Frick, Erika Claus the Canadian Cultural Attache, French it boy Christophe Chemin, whose big solo show Jeder Für Sich Und Gott Gegen Alle will open on Sept 12th at Rise Gallery on Hertzbergstrasse 27 in Neukölln,Anna Muelter, the lovesexy Brückner Brothers: Florian, Franz Xaver and Maxmillian,super duper preciously spiessig Turkish ganymede filmmaker/artist Köken Ergun, who many a gay blade on the prowl during the festival thought was attractive until they heard him speak during his cinema talk after the screening of his hauty pro consumerist, capitalist shorts. Sitting with the patrician Mr. Ergun who use to be an assistant to Robert Wilson, was twee British DAAD guest curator Ian White, stylish Mijke Harmsen, the jugend & musik programming chief of the Hebbel Am Ufer, young raw foods celebrity chef Boris Lauser, Arsenal founders The Gregors, professor Jennifer Doyle with date Senol Senturk, Steffan Geene of bbooks, Evelyn Russler and Isabel Spengler who screened their hilarious new kinky experimental sex film,cute Arsenal booty pie assistant Garrett Woltemath, the Neu Köln Sabinas, Piero Bonnehomme of the Piero Kollezione, my gorgeous NYU student Mila Geisler, Angie Baby,Ruth Schoenegge the talented film editor of Berlin Stories series from 2001 and DJ Olga Damnitz from Hanover.

SERRAS DA DESORDEM
Had a perfect luncheon with Dr. Jennifer Doyle of UC Riverside who has been on a fellowship to London for the past year, but is now in Berlin with her hot young Turkish lover Senol Senturk. Senol has worked with Cheap for many years collaborating on our live performances and installations, and he is also part of bbooks kollective in Kreuzberg. I am so happy that two amazing and incredibly talented, gifted people have found each other and are enjoying a hot buttered romance. Dr. Doyle just finished a new book that will certainly be explosive. Just as powerful as her last tome, "Sex Objects, and the Dialectics of Desire" Which has been an insanely popular crossover hit in a million different circles. Dr. Doyle continues to sock it to the tired establishment in the lame, tame art world and academy. You go girl!!!!!
Spent a delightful evening with my former Club Sucker partner Frank Rodriguez and his super studly ginger beau Patrick. Frank took me out to din din and drinks at the Prinz Konnect and Wolf, bear daddy bar. Frank told me that his best friend from Vassar College Julian Nitzberg had a year old love affair with German and Hollywood actress Franka Potenta of Run Lola Run fame. Franka was so smitten with Julian she was flying him back and forth from LA to Berlin, and wanted to have his babies. He even attended a posh event with Fraulein Potenta where he got to meet Queen Elizabeth of England and her husband Prince Phillip who did some male bonding with Julian over a shared love for bawdy jokes and ribald humour. Jullian has had a minor success with a light opera he wrote the libretto for called The Beastly Bombing. I had introduced Julian to a number of eligible women over the years including British live artist Marissa Carnesky who also went gaga for him. I like Julian but he is selfish, egotistical and bratty. Those being some of his better qualities.
Went to see the French musical film "Chanson d´Amour directed by Christophe Honore´featuring the ethereal beauty of Louis Garrel with lucsious Ludivine Sagnier and Chiara Mastroianni, the daughter of Catherine Denueve and Marcello Mastroianni. Ms. Mastroianni looks more like her auntie Francoise Dorleac then her famous mother or father. I loved the film. Musicals are very difficult to make in our modern era, but this film had a sweet Jacque Demy quality to it that made me swoon.

LEG DICH NICHT MIT ZOHAN AN
Lovely dinner at Boris Lauser´s elegant penthouse apartment at Moritzplatz. Boris is a raw foods chef from Rome who is pals with Travis Jeppeson and his beau Mario. Travis just came back from Prague, where he will be returning every month to supervise the whorgyiastic sex action between 30 Euroboys Gone Wild, a video series featuring some of the humpiest eastern European lads that money can rent.
Earlier in the afternoon, Daniel Hendrickson the Scandanavian Muslim, Kjohnny Blue and i went to the Arsenal for a meeting with Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus and Nanna Heidenreich to go over the last minute details of the big Sunscreens Summer Experimental Film Festival special Rising Stars, Falling Stars Presentation on Saturday. Got to check out the pretty rooftop garden which will make the evening particularly sparkling and magical. Was also introduced to DAAD Fellowship guest curator from England Ian White. Miss Stefanie also presented me with a copy of the gorgeous handcrafted art book that she edited called The Primal Scream, which features the films and text of Christine Noll Brinckmann.
Frank Rodriguez is in town with his ginger lover Patrick, and so is Professor Jennifer Doyle and filmmaker Marie Losier. This should be one sensational week.

DISASSOCIATIVE SPARKLE
My little young blonde neighbor Jonathan Wuermeling is so cute and bubbly with a great personality. He is from Stuttgard, and is attending business school in Berlin. He just celebrated his 19th birthday, and i met his sweet friends all warm , genuine and personable. He was an exchange student in Kentucky so he speaks English with a Southern dialect which is quite charming for a German. His school year ended so he went back to his hometown and will return to Berlina in October. My only other neighbor in the hinter haus is on the 1st floor, a woman who has lived in the building for over 35 years. She´s a bit shy but very friendly. I´m lucky i have a shower in my apartment lavatory. For over three decades my poor neighbor has had to take whore baths. Billie Ray Martin, the singer of the international club hit from the mid 90s “Loving Arms” was living two floors below me. Billie´s real name is Birgit Diekmann and she is from Hamburg. David Harrow of Technova who i collaborated with a few years ago on the album Electrosexual also worked with Billie on her hit record. I like Billie Ray, she is quite a talent, but the poor girl is somewhat of a dark cloud. I have to admit i was glad she moved out of the building. An Italian waiter also moved, probably because Billie was constantly complaining about the noise he made. I never once saw him. A gay Brazillian boy moved in after him, but i´ve only seen him once, maybe he moved too. I guess i am lucky that in my apartment building there are no drunken crusties. Both Tim and Kjohnny Blue have alcoholic German crusties in their apartment houses, and believe me you dont want to have to deal with a sour piece of crust.
The other night i went by Frankenstein 5000 and a lot of the Turkish boys were bringing their girlfriends to the bar. I guess thats the first step in coming out in that community. Some white fags also brought women, which is quite an unusual sight in a cruise bar. A few of the more adventurous gals were taking a stroll through the basement dark room. I love it when the ladies infiltrate a male sex space. There should be more of that, as darkrooms in Berlin for the most part are pretty pathetic. Havings some feminine energy in them would liven things up a bit
I am getting a little irritated by this trend of institutions like collleges, universities, film festivals and museums in the states contacting me for information, or wanting screener copies of my experimental film ouvre but not bringing me out for a presentation , Don´t waste my time and the time of my faithful assistants Andrea Novarin, Verle Oberon and Gleeson Brevard. Listen out there in cyberland and listen good. Don´t contact me unless you have a firm offer on the table i have to pay rent just like everyone else, so why would i respond to anything that doesnt offer me a guaranteed honorarium. And please dont insult me by asking for something for free . And this goes for all you crafty careerist academics. I am not flattered by your wanting to write about me, of course you want to write about someone interesting. In academia if you dont publish you are in great peril. I cant tell you how sick i am of these academics who write to my staff requesting me for a visiting artist gig and start off saying how little of a budget they have. That will get you no where. Join forces with several departments and raise an appropriate budget before you approach one of my representatives. I use to work at UCLA and i know how the system works.
While i´m venting Printed Matter and the NY Art Book Fair have been contacting me asking me questions about Fertile La Toyah Jackson Magazine. One of the young assistants working with AA Bronson got me a little peeved when in one of his emails he asked me to send some original writing, and they would consider it . . .like i was soliciting them or something. Darlings you contacted me, i didnt contact you. I spoke to Billy Miller of the Manhattan Review of Unnatural Acts,and he also was put off by this kid, so i don´t think i was being too sensitive. Us Black drag queens are notorious for being easily offended, so dont committ a faux pas with us. When i use to work at the LA Weekly the movie studios would call all the time wanting us to send them old articles, that they were thnking about making a movie of. I would tell them to go to the LA Public Library and research it themselves, or pay me as a consultant. It would have been nice if the the NYArt Book Fair had flown me out, hired me as a DJ or speaker or something. Throw us old gals a bone or two.
ALICE LEBT HIER NICHT MEHR
Had brunch with Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, our last before he goes off on another European tour. Joel is also looking for a new apartment as he is sick of living in trendy gentrified Prenzlauerber. We ate at Melitta Sunstrum in the Mehringdamm area. In the hof behind the cafe was some drag event. Later in the evening i went by Frankenstein 5000 and saw the German man that Tim Blue and i call “The Chin”. I swear this guy has the largest chin in the world, he looks just like the 60s cartoon character Dudley Dooright. I´ve seen him during the day and he is a gay version of the popular Neu Kölln crustie. A crusties job is to drink morning, noon and night and they have a great work ethic when it comes to this occupation.
Got an email from a young fan of my movie reviews. I still get invited to screenings of European and Hollywood films, here in Berlin, but don´t always make comment on these pics. But since i was asked here goes:
The Nanny Diaries-Not a good film, but Chris Evans as the male romantic interest looks meaty and very chewable. Lesbian singer Alicia Keys steals every scene she is in. Not even pros like Laura Linney and Paul Giamatti can help this wussy of a feature. I like Scarlette Johanssen. One day she will be a good actress, she is personable, attractive and has a great screen presence like Lana Turner during her ingenue years in the early 1940s in films like Johnny Eager.
Hancock-I actually liked Tom Cruise´s black well endowed lover Will Smith in this mess of an action six reeler. Poor Charlize Theron seems embarrased, and i don´t blame her having to play the wife of Jason Bateman..
Mamma Mia-Where is Nancy Walker when you need her? Nancy directed the Village People in Can´t Stop the Music in 1980. She should have been at the helm of this Dullywood musical.
EXTRA EXTRA READ ALL ABOUT IT
Wir varen mal kinder vom Bahnhof Zoo-Yes the famous Christiane F. is now at age 46 a junky celebrity once again, but this time a Kottbusser Tor crusty at the Kottbusser Tor U-bahn station in Kreuzberg. Don’t I keep you all abreast of all the important facts and tidbits?

WARTIKA HEPBURN
Went to Frankenstein 5000 with Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim and his super sexy lover Piero Bonnehomme, of the Piero Collezione. Danny and Piero were already drunk, when i joined them at the bar. They had been to a fancy dinner in Charlottenberg, hosted by two septegenarian lovers who made their fortune selling stamps to the likesis of Queen Elizabeth of England.
Ran into Fred, the American lighting designer who worked with us on Cheap´s It Happened to Me back in 2005. Fred has lived in Berlin for over 20 years and is the housequeen of Frankenstein 5000. There were actually a lot of people at the pub. I guess with the summer tourist season they have been experiencing an upswing with attendence. A few years ago someone OD´d in the darkroom and no one noticed the dead body till the early morning. Only in Berlin kids.
On the video screen they were playing a Bel Ami blue movie starring a Michael Phelps look-a-like who even had la lady Phelps lanky frame and size 14 feet. Yowza!
Looking forward to the Sunscreens Summer Experimental Film Festival at the Arsenal that will take place August 29-31st. Mark your calenderia for Aug 30th as kollective Cheap will provide the accompanyment to the Germaine Dulac film La Souriante Madame Beudet (1923) as part of a special Rising Stars, Falling Stars. And the Arsenal is going through a major shift with a name change to the Arsenal Research Center for Film and Video. Arsenal will involve themselves with more educational programs and other scholarly pursuits with an international focus. The new Arsenal premieres November 1st.
Nancy Barton, one of my old LA pals from the early 1980s is now a dean with the NYU Art School, and one of her young students in their program is visiting and working in Berlin for the summer. Her name is Mila Geisler and she is part German and Korean, a gorgeous statuesque beauty with a bright and winning personality. She spent some time with me at the Cheese Endique Trifecta and we had a blast together and i gave her some high heel training. She also took me to dinner around the corner at the cafe Toughstein where we had a hoot of a time. Ms. Geisler has a hunky ex-Marine for a boyfriend who is playing himself in the HBO drama Generation Kill. His name is Rudy Reyes and he is the personafication of manliness. If you don´t believe me go to his web site at www.RudyReyes.com.
Had a drink with Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras before he met with Peaches at some club in Mitte that was playing rap music from the year 1988. They wanted me to join them, but my old knock knee problem raised its ugly head as well as some projectile diahrrea, so a hippity hop evening was decidedly out of the question.

CORVA BICTIM
Everyone is visiting Berlin these days now that the city has a hip cache, and this summer I´ve had a plethora of Californians dropping by. Yesterday Mr. Tom Christie, the Arts Editor of the LA Weekly stopped by my Cheese Endique Trifecta with his young lady friend Mara. We had a hoot of a time gossiping about former collegues and what not, and drinking wine spritzers. Mr. Christie´s son is now 19 and his daughter 16. I remember when they were little children roaming the halls of the Sunset & Highland LA Weekly offices. The Weekly has now moved to Culver City. Who´s decision was that? Not a smart choice if you ask me. By moving the offices to the westside, it completely undermines what the paper has always been about, but then again, its not about anything these days so perhaps its fitting. Mr. Christie´s son is best friends with Bela Messex, who is the oldest child of Kim Jones and Monty Messex who were just visiting me a few weeks before i had my performances in London. Bela will be in Berlin for the entire summer like last year. He and Mr. Christie´s son will be hanging out together. I really adored Mr. Christie´s ex-wife Claire, she was very glamorous and sultry, reminding me of the actress Joan Bennett.
Mr. Christie use to live in the same artist compound in Silverlake on Sanborn Street where Ron Athey has now lived for over a decade. Its a very famous grouping of bungalows. Jon Bok, the artist who designed the interiors of all the House of Blues nightclubs all over the world use to live there, and artist Larry Pittman was shot by a gang banger at the location.
My old partner from Club Sucker Frank Rodriguez and his beautiful ginger boyfriend Patrick, who is a talented artist, are coming to town either at the end of this week or the beginning of the next. I haven´t been on speaking terms with Frank for many years, but its all placentia water under the bridge now that i live abroad, so it will be nice to see him and his smoldering hot lover.

SLUGGISH GONAD
Still receiving tons of emugs from England about my recent shows there, and also an avalanche of responses from the You Tube trailer/preview of my new experimental film series "DeRohan Chabot". I am kindof weirded out by You Tube, Facebook and all these modernist inventions. I guess i am just too old school for my own good.
Mr. Stuart Comer of the Tate Modern sent some pics of my Pink Mass performance, and i look kinda cute surrounded by mylar balloons. Very Warholia. I am missing London very much. They have some tired art fags and such, but there are so many international beauties roaming that olde town. One great memory that keeps flooding my brainiac is the sublime luncheon Stuart took Dominic Johnson, Dean Samashima and i to at Victoria Park where we ate next to a glorious Trumpeter Swan pond, as a summer shower cooled us off.
Yesterday i ran around with Joel "Baby Diaper" Gibb of the Hidden Cameras. Joel showed me some new art work that will be in a show he's having in Berlin along with G.B.Jones and Christophe Chemin. He also let me see the new short film he directed and its major Ms. Gorgeous. That Joel is a brilliant musician, filmmaker and beauty boy. It doesnt get better then that. Sunday i had brunch with Anna Muelter, the it girl of the Hebbel Theatre. Anna is pure joy, and i always have a fun time with her, plus she knows how to take care of her Ms. Davis doll.