VADO ANCH'IO VERSO . . .
Bricky, Bricky and more Bricky. Friday was Christopher Isherwood Cabaret Night, and we turned the place out with sizzling performances by The Ditty Bops, fresh from their big spread in Interview Magazine. The girls looked divine and were in fine voice.

Shauna Leone revamped her wonderful Prohibition Boutique, which adds so much charm to the foyer as our guests enter into our twilight world. Everyone adores the beautiful Ms. Leone, she is one of the most stylish of the regular Bricktops girls. Art star Matthew Barney came again this week, and also brought his step son Sindri--who was wearing a cute 20's outfit(with what looked like vintage tennis shoes of the period--how's that for details) Sindri looked a bit older, so at first i didn't recognize him. The kid must be around 21 years old. He took a lingering interest in pretty Shauna, but he didn't move fast enough because she already made a love connection with the new door man at the Parlour, who looks like he's a member of that New York band The Strokes. He's actually kindof cute, i just don't fancy skinny rock n roll types.
Mr. Barney has been hanging out with Cathy Opie going out to Joshua Tree and dropping acid. I was really surprised that he married icelandic pop star Byork. In fact i was really jealous, as i fancied him for myself, and although he is a straight boy, he's a major, true blue freakazoid, who loves experiencing all the many pleasures that life has to offer, so having a drag queen girlfriend certainly fits that bill, and we've had many flirtatious moments that if the circumstance was right, could have definately lead to some serious fornicating if not a pure, intense relationship, though i doubt if it could have been long term. He still has that look in his eye----a mixture of wanting to plow or cannibalize me. If he wants to chow down, I have the perfect garden salad.

I was just surprised that Byork sunk her claws into him, I thought she was a notorious dinge queen, since her other boyfriends were Tricky, Goldie and DJ Shadow. Matthew did tell me that Byork wants to work with me. I guess she loves the Technova single i do the vocals on "I Could Have Sex" that they play in London at Nag, Nag, Nag. I'd love to do something with her, that would be one ill collaboration.

Everyone seemed to be in good spirits Friday, so good seeing Jean Spinosa(who always wears a creative and bold outfit) her pal Reaux, Abbie Travis who has been on tour with Gibby Haynes of the Butthole Surfers, a dapper Michael Schmidt(with compact in hand) and my darling Kentucky Karbunckle, David of Louiseville who made a deliciously sexy taxi dancer. He wound up picking up a bubble butt young, TV presenter. Lucky him.

Had to wake up early Saturday, to film a new experimental piece with Cyril Kuhn of Switzerland. Of course i felt miserable and didn't want to get back in drag in the muggy hot weather, but considering the dilemna everything worked out fine. Cyril's wife Kara Hunger created some amazing costumes for me and the Herbst Twins, Robby and Mark. We filmed on the roof of my MacArthur Park studio, and used some hot techniques like filming through a giant magnifying glass with jerky, jagged camera movements and three cameras to catch every nuance, and honey I'm Mrs. Nuance.

IL PRIVILEGIO DI PENSARE
Went to see my godson Immanuel Martin's short film "Diez" at the Arc Light's Short Film Festival. His movie is very lovely and meaningful. The kid has talent and a soft touch with tone and texture, something so lacking in the Hollywood product farm.
The other films on the program were very good as well, why they were all lumped together in a Latin American program was just ridiculous. The facilitator was a bit late for the sky as well.
Wonderful meeting Immanuel's cousin who is a Jesuit priest working at a church in Compton. I like the Jesuit order, they are the cooler Catholics, and this padre certainly was that. Iman and his mother Cherry Jefferson, who was in the Afro Sisters with me, are also related to Richard Widmark. Cherry lives in Oakland with her sexy French girlfriend Ghislain, who comes from an ancient French aristocratic family.
Got word from the Fierce Festival people, that we will be taking Visions of Excess to the Balkans in December. I'm excited about getting the opportunity to chow down on some Serbian dick.
Had a hilarious conversation over the phone with Lady Bunny. She's had to bring Wigstock back at Tompkins Square or risk losing her ownership of the very festival she created. Copyright laws are so bizarre!

FRANCIS BACON AND LETTUCE
Daddy Athey and I have been working diligently on an article for the LA Weekly's Best of LA. The two of us make a dynamic writing team, our last article together was a fashion cover story about Humpy Dorks. This time we're delving into ghetto bathhouses, namesly the 1350 in Wilmington, Downtown's Midtowne Spa and the oldest bathhouse in Los Ang, The KLYT, on Skid Row.

Isadora Duncan Night at Bricktops was purely Isadorable. Augusta! the documentary filmmaker performed as Penny Starr Jr. That Augusta has such delicious breastage, and she really knows how to Wow!!!! Some tired TV show came down to capture all the excitement. Johnny Knoxville was at the club, and he is so handsome in person. Beautiful skin and a nice smile. He wisely avoided the TV cameras. I don't blame him. I wish i would have been able to. The cast members of Hairspray at the Pantages Theatre were also in the audience. Mark Simon and his Boyfriend review did a song just to masculate things and Shauna Leone did her sexy Prohibition Boutique in the foyer. Summer Peaches was our hot voluptuous taxi dancer. Running around looking sexy was Norman Ghoulsen of The Acres, video artist Ming Ma, belly dancer Europa, pretty Jean Spinosa with Reaux and Shirtless John and Vietnamese writer Kien Nguyen who has that new book out called "Le Colonial".
***
I performed at the California Plaza Water Court with Stew and the Negro Problem. It was a salute to LA songwriters. The other featured guests were John Doe of X, Dave Alvin, Stan Ridgeway of Wall of VooDoo, Michael Quercio and Kristian Hoffman. I sang a 20's version of the GoGo's "This Town" which went down really well. Was treated very well by the staff, and ran into old pal and former Cholita, Gaby Godhead who works at the California Plaza as a techie. I adore Gaby, he's responsible for Cholita's sound being more vibrant the last two years we were on the local scene as a band.
Went to Jeffreyland Hilberts 40th Birthday party at his gorgeous streamline moderne apartment in Koreatown. Jeffrey is aging in reverse. I swear he looks younger and younger everytime i see him. Had a great time drinking, stinking and living it up. Marky Magdeleno brought his new beau Charlie who is from Arkansas and is very cute.

NOTE TO MYSELF: Must pitch to Rebecca the editor of Zoo Magazine that i do an article on Doug who use to be the editor in chief of Honcho Magazine. Talk about major career changes. Doug is now the mortician to the stars. He beat on the final resting place face of Celia Cruz.
***
Marlene Deitrich Night at Bricktops, an evening celebrating the charms of sexual predators. Marlene's great granddaughter Lola Tawdry performs with special guest Fifi Piaf the granddaughter of Edith Piaf. Also some hot boy suburban Taxi Dancers provided by Marky Magdeleno along with some private dancing behind the curtains which got a little out-of-hand as some men in the audience were ravishingly horndoggy for the well endowed dancers. oh welp!!!!
Artist Mathew Barney came by the club and introduced me to Bjork's son Sindri. I had no idea she had a grown child. She must have been impregnated with him when she was a teenager. He's a cute kid.

GNADIGE FRAU
Gypsy Boots, the health food legend died a few weeks ago. I thought Gypsy was already dead, as he was ancient back in the 70s when i first became aware of him. He use to have this celebrity studded health food restaurant on 3rd Street near Western in what is now part of Korea Town. It wasn't much to look at, but inside would be all the major stars of the era. I never went as i was too young and didn't like wheat grass, but my older sister use to go all the time with her Vegan best girlfriend named Luigi.
Poor Luigi, the girl was doomed. She was a white scrawny bag of bones, who moved from Manhattan Beach with her mom to Olympic and Vermont and attended the Vermont Congregation of Jeho that my sister went to. All i can remember of Luigi is that she had ruddy colored skin then blended into her hair, so that she appeared to me at least, as a shapeless faceless blob. The girl not only was mousy in personality but she resembled an albino mouse. I think she even had pink eyes. My mother was always telling Luigi that she needed to eat meat, because it was obvious being a vegetarian wasn't good for her. The girl was always sickly. This was 1973 or 1974, and I rarely noticed my older sister's dull friends, but something intrigued about Luigi, I've always been partial to people with low self esteem. Her real name was Louise, and she didn't take it too kindly that I called her "Luigi". She worked as a secretary on Wilshire Blvd when it was the capital of the insurance industry. Every morning before work she would swim laps at the Ambassador Hotel's health club. One morning she was electrocuted when a light fell in the pool. The day before she had come to pick up my sister in that little Datsun she drove, to take her to Gypsy Boots restaurant and to see the movie The Conversation that starred Gene Hackman and was directed by Francis Ford Coppola. They saw it at the old 3rd run movie house The Embassy Theatre on Western at Third Street which is now an ugly mini mall. One time at this theatre i went alone to see the film Hearts of the West starring Jeff Bridges and Blythe Danner the mother of Gwyneth Paltrow. This was early 1974 and i was about 12 years old. My tired nerdy friend Russell Lim, who I'd known since the 2nd grade and I'd been in the MGM program with(Mentally Gifted Minors) was supposed to meet me at the theatre but he got lost or something. Towards the end of the movie, a tall, lithe Iranian looking young man of about 19 sat down next to me. He had dark brown curly hair and a very handsome, streamlined face with a heavy beard, he was wearing sandles, and i thought his feet were huge. During the final credits he took my hand in his own and placed it on his crotch. He had a giant erection through his pants, and he forced me to feel the outline of it. I was both frightened and excited at the same time. I'd always wanted to be approached by what my mother warned me was a pervert. The closest i ever came was when i was sitting on a limb of a tree when i was around 10, and this greasy ugly drunken black man yelled up at me that i had one tiny little narrow ass. He started blowing kisses to me and told me to come down from the tree but i climbed up higher and he was to drunk to follow, and then staggered away.
I grabbed my hand back from the Iranian, and ran out of the theatre to catch the bus back home. The Iranian pulled up to me at the bus stop and asked if i wanted a ride. Luckily, or perhaps not, the bus came and i hopped on, and never told anyone what happened.
Whenever i would be in the Western and 3rd Street area over the next few years i would see the Iranian on the street or at this used bookstore that also sold old sheet music from the teens and 20s. I would spend hours on Saturdays at that bookstore. The owner took a liking to me and would sometimes give me reems of old sheetmusic and rare first edition hard cover books that i still have. The Iranian would try to engage me, but i was too much of a goody goody, and the shocked look in my eyes acted as a deterrent. The last time i saw the Iranian was in the early 80s. I was performing with my Afro Sisters at Emigre Magazine party at Beyond Baroque. The Iranian was gaunt and shriveled from the ravages of Mrs. AIDS, i barely recognized him. He was with some black hair queen who must have been his lover and caretaker. There was still a trace of handsomeness in his jawline, but everything else signaled he was on deaths doorknob. Ten years had passed by so i doubt if he even recognized that the drag queen on stage was the same little boy he unsuccessfully tried to seduce so many years ago.

MME. BRULARD
I'm loving housesitting for Hector and ErikLa at their Maltman Avenue Silverlake compound. Their deck is major Ms. Gorgeous and I'm possessed by the sunsets. I'm taking care of their garden, and I hope i don't wind up killing the plants, as i don't have a green thumb. Its nice to watch their TV, since i don't own one. Been looking at the Olympics from Athens and pulling a major Cornelius on those swimmers, decathaletes and tiny dimunitive gymnists.
Some of the Olympic cameramen must be dinge queens the way they lovingly caress those black jubas jubilee sprinters. Slo-motion close-ups of muscular thighs and race horse arses, and some floppies that can't be strapped down. My favs have been the 19 year old French Canadian diver, and a hot athlete name Seberle from the Cech Republic and this other humpy piece from Kanakastah or whatever the name of his crazy country. I'd sure like to be their semen depository.

This little emug came from Bruce "Judy" LaBruce:

Greetings:
On behalf of TLA Releasing and the Philadelphia International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, it is with great sadness that I must report the sudden and unexpected death of the promising young actor Andre Noble on July 30 from inadvertent poisoning.
Andre starred in the film SUGAR, which has been playing to great success at the leading gay and lesbian film festivals this summer. It is currently in theatrical release in Canada through ThinkFilm, and it will be released on DVD/VHS in the United States by TLA Releasing and ThinkFilm on November 16, 2004.
Andre Noble, age 25, was born in 1979 in the Canadian fishing town of Centreville, Newfoundland. He attended the Sir Wilfred Grenfell School of Fine Arts in Newfoundland (where a scholarship has been set up in his name – see below), before heading to Toronto to begin his professional acting career.
He appeared in productions of Shakespeare’s "Hamlet," "As You Like It" and "Twelfth Night" and he co-founded a new theater group in Toronto, The Young Company. Andre also began his television career by appearing in the popular CBC mini-series "Random Passage," TVO/TFO’s "Ta Voix Dans La Nuit" and the TV-movie "Prom Queen: The Marc Hall Story."
Andre made his feature film debut as "Adam" in Jacob Tierney’s TWIST, a modern retelling of "Oliver Twist," which opened in Canada in 2003 and is currently in limited release in the U.S. through Strand Releasing.
He then got what might have been his breakout role as the lead in SUGAR, an adaptation of Bruce LaBruce’s "JD" stories directed by John Palmer. Andre played Cliff, an 18-year-old suburban boy who heads into the city and falls in love with a seductive, crack-addicted hustler, played by Brendan Fehr ("Roswell").
SUGAR had its premiere on May 22, 2004, at the Toronto InsideOut Lesbian and Gay Film and Video Festival, where it won the award for Best Canadian Feature. It had its US premiere at the New York Gay and Lesbian Film Festival on June 6, followed by festival screenings in San Francisco (Frameline) and Los Angeles (Outfest).
It was then at the Philadelphia International Gay and Lesbian Film Festival where Andre made his first U.S. appearance for the film. Together with director John Palmer, he answered questions at the screenings on July 24 and 25, and he attended various social events, including the Festival’s Tenth Anniversary Party. Andre and John also met with TLA Releasing officials to discuss SUGAR’S November release on DVD and VHS.
After Philadelphia, he headed home to Newfoundland, where on July 30, while on a hike with friends, he came in contact with the poisonous plant monkshood. He died a few hours later, before he could reach a hospital.
Andre is survived by his father and brother, a grandmother and a wide circle of relatives and friends. His memorial service will be held on Sunday August 15, from 4-6pm at the Buddies in Bad Times Theatre 12 Alexander Street in Toronto.
In his memory, the family has set up a scholarship fund in Andre’s name for the Theatre Department at the Sir Wilfred Grenfell School of Fine Arts in Newfoundland. Donations can be made to any branch of the Royal Bank for the Sir Wilfred Grenfell School of Fine Arts at Corner Brook. Tel: 709-256-1600
Andrew R. Preis
Director of Media Relations
TLA Entertainment Group/Philadelphia Film Society
234 Market Street, 4th Floor
Philadelphia, PA 19106

also this directly from Brucian:

no accolades. just a small controversy about whether or not my new film Raspberry Reich plays at the toronto film fest. signs point to yes, but there are some fishy machinations going on. i haven’t heard more yet about the death of the boy who played me, but i will endeavour to find out. i’m having a lazy, crazy summer. i think i need to go into rehab. it looks like sexy tiger tyson has agreed to appear in my new la gangbangers movie... more on that later. x blab

SO GUT WIE NEU
I've been hanging out lately with some of my young students from various art schools, colleges and universities. The queer ones are so normative, its depressing. I'm talking queer graduate students and undergrads. Their perspective on life is so dullsville and middle class. Granted, I'm a black urban gal, super radically charged, but when you see so many little boy art whores in their early 20s with beaus, who they've been with since their teens, it makes me want to upchuck. And it would be one thing if there was this undying passion between them, but there isn't. They might as well be going through lesbian crib death. I never see scalding, hot obsessive lovers, just a close 19th century style school chums aura.
Am i the only one who finds this disturbing? Please send me your feedback on this timely subject.

O just one more thing. My straight boy intern just told me that his girlfriend plows him up the ass with an assortment of dildos and sex toys, and she also has ichy knuckles and fists him. They are both 19, devoted to little ole ME, and such a cute couple. I always sensed the girl was a barracude femme top, now i know that the boy is a proper butch bottom. Now that sizzles!!!!!

Here is a little note from my darling Larry BobGoblin. I'm so proud of Larry. He's made some major changes in his life, which make me respect, and adore him even more then i already do:

I was talking to a friend of mine on the phone Friday morning and she mentioned she'd sent me an email the night before about an ad posted on craigslist looking for a piano player. I wasn't planning on checking email before I went out, but I went ahead and read the ad. They said they wanted someone to play for a show on Sunday (two days away) and that the pay was $100 and there were six songs or so to play. I'd been thinking of going tothe Harrison bear street fair Sunday, but I figured I could use the cash more. I called the number and talked to a woman there, who passed the phone on to the leader of the band. There was going to be a dress rehearsal in about an hour and a half, at noon. They told me where the gig was -- by coincidence it was at the same theater my band had played the week before. I said I'd do it.

I took a cab down to the rehearsal with my equipment. It took a while for someone to show up to open the theater. The main performer was a Black woman of about 50, and the other performers were young kids. Other than a guy fromthe theater, I was the only honky. The band was a bassist and a drummer and me on keyboards. The bassist was the bandleader and gave me some indication of the key of what we were playing. I'm a little more used to playing off charts. For one of the songs he wrote out some chord changes for me. I managed to make it through the performance ok. At a couple points there was a call for classical music and I was able to fill in some Bach and Mozart. The bassist was really good -- he played funk grooves and a song with a blues progression. The bassist gave me a ride home. Apparently there was something wrong with the computer on which his production company had the usual list of piano players, which is why the ad was placed on craigslist. Today I went down to the gig. There was a low turnout -- I don't think the show was promoted very effectively. The main woman was probably trying to do too much. Anyway, we still played pretty well, and I was given the promised$100 in cash (I'd spent about $25 in cab fare getting to the practice and the gig but got a ride home today as well.) The woman who put the show on also had a display of her black folk art rag dolls, and gave me a little cloth refrigerator magnet of a woman in a headscarf. I didn't play all that great -- I could use more practice and more direction, but as always happens when I play in new musical situations or with new people, I learned a lot.

The bassist has a studio in the east bay -- I don't know if he'd ask me again to play with him, but at least I conducted myself pretty professionally by doing the gig on such short notice.

Larry

WETTKAMFE
Willy Banta and Miriam Jacobsen of the band Spookie Pie took me dinner at Taylor's Steakhause in Koreatown. I had the infamous London Broil and drink a million whiskey sours. I always have an amazing time with Willy and Miriam. Willy's day job is a science teacher at King Middle School in Silverlake. Miriam has been working in the calender section of the LA Weekly for years. They bought a cute little house recently in Burbank.
Talk about a creative couple. Always engaged in some fun project, and with a whimsical youthful spirit that makes them so wonderful to be around. There are very few people i can stomach these days. I swear i'm becoming more of a recluse.

Held an audition at the Parlour Club for some new talent. I discovered Mr. Uncertain that way, and now I'm hoping to mold another gem from the rough. A nice woman singer, from the open mike circuit sang a few songs for me. She's only been performing for about six months, and hasn't really found her voice yet. I'm always excited about new talent.

Later that evening at Bricktops filmmaker Laura Nix and her Whirly Girly Burlesque bicycle riding Club came in mass, about 45 strong Valkaries, all hyped up on pedal fever. Talk about a sexy entrance.
The entire evening was spectacular. Our salute to Lucia Joyce, the dancing daughter of James Joyce was very inspiring to a lot of people. The last time i got such a lovely response was when i did a tribute to Carl Van Vechten and this young college age black woman came up to me in the DJ booth thanking me profusely. I always worry that my themes are just to esoteric, but you know what, I don't feel like i should dumba down what i do. If they get it, fine, and if they don't thats fine too. After two years of doing Bricky's i've proven that there is a clubgoing crowd that wants something with a little more bite and substance. Gosh mostly all the other clubs in town are pretty pedestrian, so my nite does stand out.
Bay area movement performer Jean Spinosa did an incredible job, choreographing a sizzling piece that featured another dazzling girl and a humpy fair skinned boy. The crowd was mesmerized.
My performance consisted of trying to find the tightest sphincters in the crowd, and i did a little monologue about when you're an artist you are considered crazy. In this society having original ideas is tantamount to madness.
Was introduced to John Hassall and Gary Powell of the British band The Libertines, they seemed truly flumuxed by Bricktops. My club really hits people from left of field. Drag King, Mo B Dick was also running around. Mo B. was dressed pretty femme, i don't think she is a lesbian anymore. Is that a new trend? So many lesbians are dating men now. Her date was this guy who is a co-founder of Google, Sergey Brin. He was kindof cute, i would let him stick his penis in me anytime.
Other notables who i was formally introduced to: Diego Luna of Y Tu Mama Tambien fame, who said that Bricktops is needed in Mexico City. I told him their was a Bricktops in Mexico City in the 40s and 50s. Diego was with two other Mexican actors whose names i forget and a french actor named Gre'gor Derange're who was last seen in the Isabelle Adjani movie "Bon Voyage". I was told that some young male ingenue named Dax Shephard was also at the club, but i don't know what he looks like, so i can't personally vouch for that. I did talke to Mean Mommy of the Cheap Beer Saaphic Filmakers Collective, art historian Robert Summers and his well endowed photographer beau Matt Lipps, and Heather and her Toxic Titties Art Gang.

Saturday was my first day housesitting for Hector & Eric who are off to Europa. They have a cute home on the top of Maltman Avenue in Silverlake. I walked down Edgecliffe and visited with Dr. Jennifer Doyle who made me some delicious soup, then off i went to cruise the tired Sunset Conjunction Function. Saw lots of latin rovers, echo park effetes and Los Feliz pretty boys. No one was biting at my line. The rock stage seemed dull and uninspiring, and the heritage stage was the usual Michael McKinney McKoodle with the former husbands, daughters, uncles and aunts of the Supremes performing, but i did enjoy Ashford & Simpson especially when they sang, "On Any Streetcorner". Poor Valerie Simpson she has been married to that black hair queen for over 35 years----let me stop being so cynical, some mix marriages between straight women and gay men work really well. Charles Laughton and Elsa Lancester are the perfect example.

MACH DEIN EIGENES SPIEL
Everyone's favorite ex-Runaway Ms. Kari Krome always sends me the best emugs. Her last one caused a riotous response with my getting notes from all over the world about it. I've known Kari for way over 20 years now. She created and wrote songs for the infamous all-girl group The Runaways, with her then lover Joan Jett, now she lives in New York City, and i adore hearing her latest exploits. You will too:

the dolls were amazing, david johansen really funny,doing his amos and andy routine, i must say for an oldcoot, he wwas kinda fine. i was surprised. and thenthe stooges were amazing, iggy was screaming atsecurity, "let those people up here, let em up here,come up here and dance, take over, take over, fuckthese motherfuckers, come on up!" mind you this was an event with thousands of people outdoors, and the stage was flooded with peopledancing and hanging onto iggy, and he was passing them the mike, and all these kids were screaming and singing into it, and iggy had the whole place singing the words to the songs back to him. everyone was all around him and behind him shaking thier fists and screaming and going ballistic like RAAARRR, were iggysgang. it was so cool. that dude is in his 50's, and he was whip shit in shape and dancing and mugging and flinging himself around like a 20 year old. truly the most exciting performer ive ever seen. just an amazing set. i was like holy shit,only he could incite a riot, and not let it get itoutta hand. he had the crowd eating outta his hands.

he tried to get into the audience, but security keep yanking him back. i mean ha ha, iggys up there screeeching:
i stick it-deep inside, i stick it-deep inside, andthe audience roars back, CAUSE IM LOOSE!woooooo! a great time was had by all.
ps- i called you so you could hear Nancy Sinatra, theDolls, and iggy on my cell.kim fowley was MCing the event, and i was mortified, I spend the whole day ducking him, and he was still wearing that 25 year old yellow pimp suit. the dolls sang "you cant put your arms around a memory" and dedicated it to johhny, and i actually got chocked up and started to cry, and left and went around to the back of the stage so no one would see me cry.

IMPRESSUM
Was hired to DJ this GenArt Prohibition style party at the Henry Fonda/Music Box Theatre on Hollywood Blvd. Limo picks me up at 4:30 from my MacArthur Park studio. The driver is a crusty looking thing----yuk! The dressing rooms are nice, luckily Michele Carr my drag daughter and directrice of the Velvet Hammer Heritage Burlesque Review got some stage hands to turn on the air. The event turned out swell, i was the early evening DJ during the VIP shenanigans. I'm always been offered gigs like this and I usually turn them down, but for whatever reason i said yes to this and I'm glad i did, as they treated me really well. I didn't know anything about this organization, but Michele said that they are friends with Laurie Pike of Glue Magazine fame, so my instincts about participating were right on the mark. My only complaint and it is minor, was that there was no food for the artists, and no one to attend to our libation needs. I must admit I've been spoiled by doing parties in New York and Europe where everything is catered royally, and they usually assign several very cute boys to just stand around making sure that I'm entertained, and stuffed with food and drink. One of the interns did bring me some candy and cookies, but i was starving, and needed some real food. Its my own fault in that i didn't have my assistant Gleeson stress that this diva is HIGH maintenance and, like a train must be fed. Wish i could have stayed to see the Velvet Hammer perform, but i had to be up early for a power breakfast meeting.

CHOPRA KADOOR
Heather "Wiener Dog" Matarazzo and her lesbian girlfriend came by Bricky's on friday. I would have never thought that the star of "Welcome to the Doll House" was a daughter of Bilitis. Go fig. Also P.J. Harvey came by and kept a very low profile. I took a picture with her and a friend and she wanted a picture of me on her camera. The Fishnet Floozys--Anna Bells and Nickie Novak put on a rousing show as part of our salute to Baby Frances Gumm. Lots of very kute young kids in the audience, nice intimate gathering.
Met a sweet young Chilean boy named Jose Promis who i may try and groom into the next Mr. Uncertain. He's a sweet kid with a nice singing voice. We'll see what develops
Sunday it was the reading of BlueBeard by Charles Ludlam at Stephen's silverlake compound. Mark Simon is directing and i have the role of Lamia the Leopard woman, that was originally played by Mario Montez. Had a lot of phun the the boys from The Boyfriend and later we all splashed about in the pool.
Daddy Athey had me bartending at his preview for "The Judas Cradle". This a opera that he wrote with Julianna Snapper and Sean Griffith. My papa Athey can really sing. Wow!!! everyone was so surprised. He has put so much work in this new piece, its a guaranteed hit. Quite beautiful. Julianna is so amazing, and the hot cello player really got my gonads going. lots of hot stars in the audience like Kembra of Karen Black, the great Johanna Went, Cadillac Joe Donnelly, Divinity Fudge, osseas labyrinth, Shari Frilot looking sexy with a new gal pal and Cathy Opie.

BOULEVERSE BY THE SEASON
Was in a bit of a funk until i escaped Miss Los Ang to go up north, Santa Barbara to be exact with Glen Meadmore to visit Ms. Meadmore's girlfriend and the love of her life, Lady Barbara of Carpenteria. We took a pitbull stop in Ventura to pick up Dora of Wilde Planet fame and also visited with my exAfro Sister Clitoris Turner.
Lady Barbara took us to the resort hotel that she works at that is in the Santa Barbara hills. Talk about major Ms. Gorgeous. The view from the terrace was lovely, and of course i had two Margaritas and was whooping it up. In the lobby we ran into Phranc, the Jewish Lesbian folk singer and her wife Lisa and kids. That was an unexpected surprise.
Lady Barbara then took us back to her compound for a scrumpteous meal that was just too divine for words.
Went to see the hot new french film "Intimate Strangers". What an adult drama it was. Not one young person in the movie just everyone 35++++. America could learn a thing or two from the French when it comes to sophisticated films with a heavy psychological bent. Just what I was in the mood for. Tomorrow i think i'll see Alien Vs. Predator. I have to also throw in a guilty pleasure.
Had my last little fling with Mexican boy who is housesitting for his wealthy relatives at the foot of the Hollywood Hills. I tore that boy up last night. Of course i didn't get much sleep so i'm going to be exhausted all day. It was nice having a young booty to plow until its raw and ragged. Nice while it lasted.

MERDE, ALORS!

This hysterical emug came to me from Kari Krome of the Runaways, enjoy:

The Inapproiate Chakra Lady

here's the latest wacky story in my life:i went to this metaphysical bookstore when i had a migraine headache, and i saw a sign that said reikimassage $20 for 20 minutes. and i thought what thehell I'll give it a shot. i was desperate for theheadache to go away. a real brainbuster. and i clickwith the woman sho runs the place, and we get totalking and were into the same writers and books andshe gives recommends a really awesome book, so i emailher to get more books, and go back in there and haveanother reiki session done, and were talking beforehand about what reiki can do, so i say i'd really liketo work through some of my family, and abuse issues.and she tells me she was abused sexually as a childand her father was an alcoholicn and abused her aswell. so im thinking wow thats why we have theconnection, you can always sniff out your own kind.so anyways i hop up on the table and lay down and shestarts the therapy, and its a hands on massage and shemassages part of the chest, and i dont think anythingof it right? well this time, she puts her hand righton my crotch. she wasnt rubbing my crotch in a sexualmanner, but it was a massage and though delicate, igot kinda aroused. and she's leaning over me, to getunder my backside, and shes practically rubbing hertits all over me. and im like thinking well, should ibe nervous? what is this about? is this what theyalways do? you know, the mind suddenly became occupiedwith trying to assess the situation. and as she workedthrough an area of tenseness and i let out a groan ofrelief, she let out this groaning sort of ...sigh?and then i was like, am i crazy? is this the regulardrill? not to mention shes real easy on the eyes, soit was confusing to say the least. afterwards i wassitting there totally relaxed but very preoccupied,and shes standing very close to me smiling and she sayyou are so cute, i just want to hug and kiss you. andshes always standing super close and looking in myeyes and doesnt break her gaze..i didnt say anything cause i was like a deer frozen inthe headlights. she didnt kiss me or hug me. i wonderwhat would of happened if i did say OK?i was scheduled to go to a class there on learning tochant the 72 names of god in hebrew, so in themeantime i have plenty of time to simmer.i check in with 5 different peole, and my alanonsponsor, and they all said shes putting the moves onyou. my sponsor said: anyone thats going to put thierhands on an intimate part of the body asks you firstand tells you why? you got felt up. everybody knowsbody boundary protocal, especially if she knows youhave those issues.but you know, she just didnt seem like the type. ijust assume everybody is straight. i have like nogaydar, unless someones a flaming queen, or a hardcoredyke.ive had the staightest housewives hit on me, and imalways taken by surprise and flustered. so what do iknow? plus because of my history, its takes me awhile tonavigate if someones doing something inappropriate tome. im a ding dong. if someone flirts with me, theypractically have to bang me over the head with it. imalways the last to know. this broads rubbing her titsall over me, and im tring to figure out themathematical equation to the chant music werelistening to, and wondering if time travel is possiblethru a well known magnetic portal in eastern new york.i always miss it till its almost too late. but thistime my antennae was standing straight up and atattention. i knew something was up, i just wsnt sureexactly what.so i leave there relaxed but not relaxed.im in a grumpy distracted way over the next few daysi IM my sponsee betsy and i tell ehr whats going onand she emails me back:WHAT ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! thats so inappropriate!!!what are you gonna do???? and over the next two daysthis whole thing turns into some insane comedy of kariand her sponsee betsy, plotzing how were going intothe metaphysical bookstore to spy on this woman inaction and see what shes up to. after incessantemailing and talking about it, i am worked up into aneurotic frenzyon how to deal with the situation. we have gone over,rehashed, reexamined, and hypothesized what thiswomans trip is. all i know about her is shes russianand has been living in this country since she was six.Shes from Kajikistan, and was a CEO VP at CBCOppenheimer before she found her spiritul teahcer andabandoned her job to open this bookstore and spiritualcenter.So far weve come up with this: shes really a Russianspy and that store is a front for new world orderpsiops, and theyre kidnapping people to use as guineapigs to create governmen sleeper assassins. The backroom is where they shear off your hair, induce mindaltering substances, and use boundary erasing mindcontrol techniques to break down your psyche, beforeshipping you off to the motherland where you are lastseen bound and gagged in the trunk of a speedingacross the kremlin.But maybe she's really just some horny russianhousewife who has to get her jolies, and shes got anold wooden eyed auntie at home that smokes a pipe, hasblack teeth, and reads the tea leaves, putting curseson the neighbors with the evil eye. i picture themboth swilling vodka laced coffee and making food, andcounting theyre money and gold.or maybe shes just some awesome bitch that wants me totake her to the snow and fuck her in some smoke filledyut, while gypsy babies squall in the night, as thecassocks rage a bloody horse drawn batlle in the snow.guts and fur flying everywhere. i mentally startwritng and awesome bloody porno epic, and IM it tobetsy.none of this has done me any good, and im a nervouswreck.so the next night i go to my class and we all learn tochant the 72 feminine names of god in hebrew, whichsounds like a roomfull of groaning and throat clearingfools, standing in a circle with thier eyes closed andholding hands. and that was sort of weird cause at onepoint i peekd open my eyes and saw people standing outfront looking in at us, and i thought jesus what ifsomeone i know walks by and sees me. and that was mymoment that brought me down to earth. kind of likethat scene in Sid and Nancy, when theyre running downthe street high as fuck, and Nancy is wearing Sidsmoms clothes, and she catches a peek of her self in awindow and freaks out cause she thinks she looks likeStevie Nicks.but i stay cause i dont wanna be a spoil sport, andthen afterwards the woman who lead the class starteddoing a dippy stevie nicksish gypsy dance! andencourged us to do the same. i sat that one out andput my head between my legs, and begged off.soon it was time to go, and The Russian chakra ladygave me a heart shaped quartz chrsytal, and said "nowyou have a piece of my heart", and said happy birthdayto me.the next day i email my betsy and told her whathappened, and she was like "Krome, shes totallygunning for you, either that or shes totally insaneinappropriate. I know i have to confront this womancause now i got alarm bells going off all around me.so i email the Chakra Lady, and tell her Look i gotsomething on my mind that i need to talk to you about,and i ahve to do it in person. please email me backand lemme know when we can discuss. shortly later iget a respoje and we are all set up for the next nightafter work. after work ,betsy will go into the store first, andpretend to be a customer browsing aruond. i will go ina few minutes later, and ask the woman whats is up,and Betsy will listen in. If Betsy ehars anbullshit, or the woman tries any mental illness, betsywill knock over a rack of books and we will run outtathere.of course i chicken out witht hat plan, and go in bymyesle and tell the woman how i feel and whats been onmy mind, she knows something is up, cause i tell herto lock the door cause i dont want any distractionsand dont wnat to be interrupted. her eyes are the sizeof saucers. i take a dep breath, and give my wholespeil. and she apologizes, and tell ME SHE DOES THATWILL ALL HER CUSTOMERS. so i say im not sure, thisreiki stuff is all new to me so i dont knwo whatsconsidered appropriate, but uh peole arent normallythat affectionate unles they know each other, and rundown all the examples of her behavior in a very niceway, but point them out, and alls i get is this washywashy newagey we are allone cosmic rap.at this poin im totally confused and feel like a totaldumbass, which i was fully prepared to dela with.but still...so we blabbed for a little bit and she told me, i wasnot doing that to you, the energy i work with was.ehat you felt from me was just nurturing.in fact i as just talking witha friend the other day,and i said the only thing left is for me to sleep withmy customers, but that is not what i seek. i am sopassionate about my work.i was totally flumoxed. and that was the story of theInappropriate Chakra lady.what do you think of that?

DER AMEISENKONIG
Friday at Bricktops was enchanting. Lots of cute kids wearing lovely outfits, very stylish and sophisticated. I'm not a fashion nazi, but i do enjoy it when people come dressed. I don't like casual attire. There is nothing special about jeans and a t-shirt. Being creative and visual is much more interesting then just trying to make oneself comfortable.

The California Navels performed and were quite good. They have a bunch of new members. My hot humpy dork with the glasses is still in the band---thank God. That boy is very pleasing to the eye. He also has a masculine girlfriend. I bet she puts on a strap-on dildo and plows that big beautiful ass of his, until he's screaming in orgasmic agony. Yummy. The keyboard player for the band wasn't dressed appropriately for stage. Hopefully next time he'll get with the program. Bricktops isn't about being hippy dippy.

I still haven't gotten my usual Monday morning report of who of interest was at the club. I tried to write down the names of people on Friday who i personally saw or who others saw lingering about. This is what i have so far: Abbie Travis, Rebekah Del Rio(Mulholland Drive),Samuel French's Mark Simon, video artist Ming Ma, Don & Augusta, film editor Zebediah Smith Lou Barlow of Sebadoh, Park Avenue Princessa and society maven Aerin Lauders, hunky rockers Dillinger Escape Plan and hot scandanavian actor Carsten Norgaard(Alien vs Predator). Jason North was wonderful as my boy taxi dancer.

DAS LIED VOM TOD
My loving sister of the clothe, Judy LaBruce wrote me this little emug that i now share with you my glamorous fans:

hey vag guess what? you know the young actor who played me in the movie "Sugar"? He died. apparently he went back to newfoundland to visit his family and he atesome poisonous flowers and died at the tender age of 22. that is the storythey're presenting so far. i'll try to see if it's a cover. but isn't thatstrange? it makes me feel like i'm cursed or something. like when i did thatbloody car crash fashion spread for a spanish magazine a little while back,and just when it was supposed to be published the terrorist bombing happenedin madrid which killed several people associated with the magazine includingthe major backer, so the magazine folded before it ever came out. mother,what's wrong with me? x blab

REICH & BERUHMT
Friday at Bricktops Alice Bag strutted her stuff channeling the pigfoot spirit of Bessie Smith with punk verve and hutzpah. Alice looked ravishing along with her husband Greg "Jailbait" Velasquez. On hand to get a view of the ageless diva: Fertile LaToyah Jackson with wife Yadi Delicious, Donita Sparks of L7, Isaac Brock of Modest Mouse, Patty Powers(Mrs. Kid Congo)academe and radio presenter Josh Kun, Augusta and her photog hubby Don Spiro, Stephen Campbell Moore(Bright Young Things)Hilary Goldberg, the director of Beyond Lovely with cast members Katrina and galpal, producer Cesar Vega, set designer Cynthia, and cinematographer Alison. Also in full Alice Bag worship mode: filmmaker Laura Nix, Mr. Uncertain, and Zach Braff(Garden State)

Only got 3 hours sleep the next morning so i could be in front of Ron Athey's compound for a yard sale on Saturday and Sunday. Actually made some good coin and had a lovely time visiting with those who stopped by. Sunday i went to check out Dead Lee's new hip hop nite at the Parlour called The Down Low. Love his big peniled gogo boy "Shy Boy". Saw Marvina and that Silverlake 40 lot,and visited with the Club chub gang of Alex and Greg.

FAMALOOCHIE IN TAHITA
Been filming the short "Beyond Lovely" with Gwen Turner starring. That Gwen is such a pro. She is really a hot sexy starina of starinas. I love watching her work. Katrina the mack daddy sistah mama is quite a vixen as well. Lots of saaphic sisters on this production. Cynthia is the art director and Mean Mommy is the Jill of all trades. I've actually been having quite a nice time, with all my gal pals. The first day of filming was grueling though, and i do tend to lose energy if i have to do things over and over. I wasn't cut out to be a mainstream movie star. I prefer working on my non-linear, non narrative films.

There is a bit of eye candy with the behind the scenes crew. Cute hunky yet dimunitive Brandon and another tall guy with glasses. John the sound guy is also kinda sexy in a quite way that i like. Today there was a young skinny boy working on the production as an extra. He was adorable. The first set up was this gorgeous house in Echo Park. The filming went very quickly, the remainder of the day will most likely take quite a while, o welp its my last full day of shooting then i'm free.

My Chicano lover Cesar is producing the movie. He is really one organized, gung ho take charge kind of guy and i find that VERY appealing in a man. Ceasar even shaved my head, giving me a nice massage and fixed my errant bed from turning into a sink hole. Ceasar is the best!!!!

Last nite i wanted to get a good sound sleep so i'd photography well on camera, but when i went for a stroll to get a bite to east around 8:30 i ran into a horndoggy young Mexican boy who was a voracious bottom. I went to the kids apartment and wound up plowing him until 12 midnight. Boy was his little cauliflower tight and chewy. He had a vaccuum suction cupped sphincter. This giant little lady sure got her proverbial gnut, and let me tell you something. I needed it.

L'ODORE DEL SANGUE
Last Thursday Hector of Troy took me to the nude beach at San Onofre between the nuclear power plant and the military base in Oceanside. Too bad it was fathers of trolls day on the beach. I've never seen so many doughy, melting folds of flesh in various shades of heliotrope.
By 4pm the marine layer came and cooled things down and i took a ho stroll. It felt good letting my clit bounce in the breeze. In a secret alcove i spotted two young surfers going to town on each other with ribald abandon. I'm the ultimate voyeur so it was marvy watching sculpted shafts stretching out chic boy channels into cratery man holes. After 20 minutes of gawking the boy beauties motioned me closer. I thought i was out of sight, but they apparently were putting on a show just for my benefit. I approached with trepidation as i didn't want to be the Cornelius that scared them away.
But to my utter chagrin the dark blondine locked his lips on my left breastage and the light blondine commensed to vacuum the foreskin on my spicy labia drapes. At one point both boys started fighting over my angry cheesy 3 inches. Ah sex in the great outdoors. It was Krakatoa east of Java time as both boys took nip to bottle for the ooze out.
Hector could tell when i walked up to our blanky that i had just been freshly fornicated.

***

Anna May Wong nite at Bricktops was very limehouse blues thanx to that cute french Canadian boy Christopher of Par Avion and his juicy pal Danny Wong, the great grandson of Anna. They performed as Shanghai Concession, and had the audience in the palmpilot of their hands. The boys even decorated the joint with some saucy Hong Kong pin-ups and red opium laterns creating some rich atmosphere.

Lots of tasty celebs in the form of Scandanavian rock gods the Hives, i even made out with the bands leader, a sexually adventurous lad named Pelle Almquist. His date, heiress Lydia Hearst, didn't seem to mind, she was busy trying to seduce dancer Jean Spinosa and east side artist Vinzula. Urban pioneer Albert Cueller looked dapper as usual and i even managed to bite the butt cheek of director Joshua Marston (Maria Full of Grace)

Sunday i rehearsed for the short film "Beyond Lovely" with Cesar Vega and the movies writer/director Hilary Goldberg. Cesar took me for a quickie snack at the legendary Santa Monica Blvd Hamburger Hobit eatery. The place looks almost exactly the same as it did back in the late 70s. Ended the evening at the New Beverly Cinema in those uncomfortable seats watching the original Manchurian Candidate with Frank Sinatra and a tight white bodies Lawrence Harvey. The remake with Denzel has got to be lousy. Liev Shreiber aint no Harvey and Miss Streep certainly isn't Angela Lansbury.
I can't get over how way ahead of its time The Manchurian Candidate is.

Monday morning taken to a power brunch at Pacific Dining Car with Greg and Jenna of the Silverlake Film Festival. They want to do a Yes Ms. Davis Farewell Retrospective. Jenna and Greg are a lot of fun, we had a blast.

Gossip----seems that Carol the owner of the Hollywood Hills Cafe is getting divorced from her gay husband. I knew the restaurant wasn't doing very well and that she was selling the apartment building that i rent a bachlorette pad from. I hope it all doesn't fall apartment until i'm ready to move to Berlin. I still need a decent cheap abode.

Went to Laemmle Grand and saw humpy Matt Damon in the Bourne Supremacy. Very suspenseful, Matt could have taken off his shirt and given me a bit of a thrill

MME. BRULARD

Guest hosted the UnHappy Hour. Nice intimate crowd came to hear spoken word peformances by the great Lynn Breedlove of Tribe 8 fame. Lynn is hysterical. She only read a bit from her novel Godspeed, the rest of the time was her stream-of-conscienceness monologue----brilliantine. Her goth tranny friend from San Francisco Sherilyn "Fenn" Connelly was also quite good, she read a very amusing teen Hosanna tale and another remin about Danielle Willis, the vamp writer i remember from the zine years. The other reader Tess Lotta is a Pedro native who has been living in Seattle for over a decade. I had a nice conversation with Tess and her handsome CPA husband. Afterwards Andrew of Gould took me out for a nice Chinese din din.
Yummy doodle.

THE ERASURE OF MEMORY
Of course summer is raging, and i'm sticky hot and uncomfortable. Mr. Uncertain bid Bricktops a hearty farewell with a striking performance assisted and conceived by La Poubelle Twins. The did a reverse strip from Hip Hop Summer School Sessioneers to Rooftop at the Wintergarden. Creekbird was our featured performer and he put on a marvelous show with his pals. That Creek sure has a nice white body.
Lots of celebutants in the audience. The lovely and ultra talented Claudia Gonson of the Magnetic Fields in town with the entire group performing at the Wilshire Ebell Theatre. The MFs are the first pop group to ever perform at the famed Hancock Park theatre. Their show was resplendid. Stephin was having problems with his ear, but seemed to be in a congenial mood and was very playfull on stage and with the audience in between admonishing them. Claudia and Stephin were in fine voice and i'm in love with their guitar and cello player. Ms. Gonson's escort to Bricktops was Steve Gregoropolus.
It was also a delight to have the great legend Penny Arcade in the audience, Penny reconnected with the gorgeous sophisticate and jewelry designer Hilary Bean, who came with Doug Gorden and Tommy Gear of the Screamers. Duncan of the Acres stopped by along with Michael Lucid, The Ditty Bops, Bibbe Hansen,choreographer Jean Spinosa, David J, Dr. Jose Munoz, Shari Frilot of Sundance Film Festival, Kirsten of Outfest and actress Lori Petty(Tank Girl)with her painfully unattractive girlfriend.

My sweet power publicist friend John Vlautin brought songwriter Desmond Child, producer Davitt Sigerson and mogul Hooman Majd. Of course there were tons of other celebrities but these are the ones that made themselves known to me. The guy that usually gives me the celebrity report on who was at the club hasn't emailed me a lick of gossip and its Monday, maybe he's out of town.

Saturday i went to the DGA for the panel discusion on The Death of Queer Art. With the legendary literary figurine John Rechy, Eve Oishi, Shari Frilot, Dr. Munoz and Judy LaBruce. "Twee" Stephen was the moderator and was really being a control queen with it. I guess he's becoming more aggressive. Judy and i along with Mike Wilde went to get a bite at Greenblatts, then i hung out at Sunset Five cruising beauties and waited at the DGA for Anderson Cooper. Ran into Ricky Castro and Miss Lauren Nurse Pain. Great seeing Miss Lauren. She is one of our famed beauties. Ricky was surprisingly being light and airy, and not his usual darktrodden self.

***

Had a power breaky with Doug Gorden at Cafe Figaro that was enchanting. Then i helped him with his revolutionary war furniture that he's selling to Butterfields. Had a power lunch at PDC with cute bubble butt academe Rob Sumners who has the photographer beau with a 12 inch and counting penis. Lovely time.

CAPO DI TUTTI I CAPI
Loving the Outfest Standard Hotel Breaky panels. Yesterday featured agents, managers and entertainment lawyers and today it was Women in Film, which started off very awkwardly, but then turned into the best of the panel discussions. Yep it rocked.

Was formally introduced to Rodney Evans the director of Bros. to Bros. He seems like quite a nice chap, and told me he has even been to Bricktops.

Last night saw the film Sugar, based on Bruce La Bruce's short stories from JD's. Director John Palmer is a theatre queen responsible for introducing to the world a young Keanu Reeves, back when he was little more then a Toronto hustler. Sugar really captured the BLAB stories, and the costumes and art direction were incredible, the behind the scenes people really had their excrement together in a way that you never see in American movies dealing with contemporary stories and Brendan Fehr is the new Rodney Harvey, but needs to be seen and not heard. Like most actors he isn't very articulate and that became evident during the Q&A.

Wednesday i saw Wild Side by Sebastien Lifshitz. I wish i was that lucky tranny involved in a hot buttery threegy with a smoldering Rusky and a tight chested Algerian boy. Yummy. Walk on Water from Israeli director Eytan Fox was also brilliantina. It was wonderful seeing Berlin on the silver screen in all its dreary beauty plus a cameo by drag queen Biggy Von Blonde.

Ran into qute "Twee" Michael Dykes at the soiree in the Atrium of the DGA. He's replaced his young humpy Brazilian sex pod for an Argentinian. Get it Twee. He also told me that Bill Silva is going to buy some property in Buenos Aires.

DAS FENSTER ZUM FLUR
Went to Outfest screening of "Harry & Max" which is based on the incesteous brotherly relationship of pop stars Nick and Aaron Carter. Love the cute leads, plus Michele Phillips and the always amazing Rain Phoenix. Too bad the story kindof fell apart at the end.

Stephen Fry's "Bright Young Things" is an adaptation of Evelyn Waugh's "Vile Bodies" and this should have been the opening night movie. What a joyous romp. Ran into sexy Shannon Kelly and his famous beau Pat McGuinn(son of Roger McGuinn of The Byrds) Rode autobus home with cute sassafras film critic Ernest Hardy.

Tuesday morn went to Standard Hotel Breaky. Was a joy talking to Cooper of Sundance Film Festival. I'll always remember his Allan Carr Caftan Room at the first Platypus. He made really strong vodka martinis. Cooper tells me that gorgeous Trevor is married and is the director of the Las Vegas Film Festival. A film festival in Vegas? Trevor should have married me.

The Bros. to Bros film was wonderful. I loved the portrayal of Langston Hughes, Zora Neal Hurston and the rest of the Harlem Renaissance Niggeratis. The after party in the atrium boasted some good ole soul foodd-friend chickenetta and collard greenbacks. Yummy


Saw "The Graffitti Artist" The two skater boi's really plahyed a number on me. The director certainly captured that mileau.

Wed breaky at the Standard. The panel discussion was all about TV. Very illuminating. Michael Lucid of the Pretty Things was on hand and also legendary Penny Arcade.

A'BOUT DE SOUFFLE
Tired gay Village for screening of Pretty Things starring Michael Lucid and DeManda of the Ditty Bops. Of course i arrived late, as Hollywood Blvd was going through one of its regular shutdowns because of a premiere at the Chinese Theatre for the new Hilary Duff film. My autobus was crawling down the blvd so i got off and walked to le Village. Funny didn't see the Ninja black ghetto dagger security force on hand. Amazing seeing Pretty Things with a large appreciative audience. Walked down to LaBrea to the olde Gorden Theatre which is now The Showcase to see Noah's Arc. The "folks" are all in full force and they make the screening hop. Poor lil "Twee" was introducing with that squeeky voice of his---he is so cute, and still very Harvard commons. Noah's Arc is a TV pilot that is written and directed by the same black man who also directed the awful PUNKS. I was expecting the worse but was pleasantly surprised. Of course the audience was the real show, talking back to the screen and drowning out dialogue it was like the reincarnation of The World Theatre on Hollywood Blvd back in 1978. Remember those days? The gay peckerwoods didn't know what to make of it all, the black and blatino scene that this show draws from is a world so removed from them. Its definately representing. They need to keep the focus gritty and not try to include every representative of black culture which would be pointless and twitty. In all i certainly found it a refreshing twist to the usual Outfest snoratia. As i said before leave it to the folks.

And one more thing: what a yummy cast juba jeliciousness. Two sleek D'Angelo coffee leads, a sassy sway back queen, a lusty spookapino and even a humpster blue eyed octaroon thrown in for good measure. Coulo

Summer in all its betty manifestations is finally upon us. june gloom has dissipated and well, i'd better get use to my sufferette

***

Hector and Erikla hosted me and Meesh of the Epiladies a nice counry Mexicali breakfast at their Maltman Hill Estate. Nice catching up on the can with my girls.

Dr. Munoz and his co curator Kevin picked me up from the studio to make our Platinum screening at Redcat. The films were a marvel. Just a sweet and whimsical program. of course i got mega drunk and disorderly in a Van Vechtan way and was mistreated all my Fanias. Shari of Sundance hosted an impromptu after party on SanBorne and we kleeked away in libation till 3am. Shracks!

VANESTRI

Went to the opening party of Outfest at the Orpheum. My was i surprised by how organized it was. There was plenty of food, easy to get to, and the bar wasn't a mess either, no long tedious lines. I was able to righteously get my drink on. They really got their act together, i was expecting the jagerworst.

The opening nite movie D.E.B.S. was cute and fluffy with lots of attractive kids in it. I especially love that model Devon Aoki, she was so bad in her acting that she came across as good. Miss Kirsten, the head programmer looked amazing in her debutante ball gown. I sat with Crepe Suzette, Cynthia and her friends in the box seats in the balcony. Had a nice drunken time, almost connected with a juicy ginger. Too bad I'm not a sexual predator.

LAST TANGO IN FERRIS
Marlon Brando died age 80. Boy was he able to fill out a toga in Julius Ceasar(1953)and a torn T-shirt, Streetcar Named Desire (1951) I even liked his singing and dancing in Guys&Dolls(1955) His best movies are One Eyed Jacks,(1961) and Burn (1969). And yes he was amazing in that Johnny Depp film the name of which i can't remember, something with DeMarco in the title, oh and he seemed to be having a good time in The Score with that tired, hauty Edward Norton.

Went to see the musical "DeLovely" about Cole Porter. The 1940s biopic starring Cary Grant as Porter is better, not much better but still. . . A more fitting name for this picture is "DeLame" Hollywood just can't make musicals anymore. And don't tell me about Chicago. It was cute, but not that good. Poor Ashley Judd, braving through it the best she can. The 40s version of the Porter tale was gayer then this sad flick. I was laughing out loud at Kevin Kline and his ballet dancer Russian lover and that gay bar was more like the current location of Numbers.

***

My hunky latin lover Cesar brought me a wonderful storage unit on wheels and some office chairs for my studio. I feel all shiny and new, thank you darling Cesar.

HAPPY PEOPLE OF THE WORLD

Wednesday Hector and Erikla cooked a fantasticle din din then took me to the Last Remaining Seats/Cinematheqa screening of Delores Del Rio in "La Otra" at the downtown movie palace, The Orpheum. Some dullard politicos made some speeches, but a highlight of the eve was a performance by Mulholland Drive diva Rebekeh Del Rio, stunning in white summer fox fur.

Friday at Bricktops the rampage was on with a delightful performance by Mark Simon and his Boyfriend troupe. They completely dazzled via the Carl Van Vechten buffet flat theme. Mike Bolger of Los Super Elegantes fame accompanied them on accordian and baby tuba.

It was wonderous seeing Heather and the Toxic Titties Collective en masse, plus Jean Spinosa, William Blakish poet Remy Matin and his wilde charleston strutting filmmaker bud Zebediah, who i've been mistakenly naming Jedediah, Dr. Larin, the handsome proper butch who was flirting away in the DJ booth with Bernice Bobs-Her-Hair,cute baby dyke Madeline, visiting filmmaking royal Olivier Hascout, actor Paddy Considine (In America) and Boyd Rice and his Death in June brigade.

Hung out the other day with Glen Meadmore. He took me to see the film "Father and Son" by Russian director Alexander Sokurov who also made the film "Russian Ark" which i loved. This pic tells the story of a hot father and son incestous couple played by Andrey Schetinin and Aleskey Neymyshev. The movie is one of the most romantic films i've ever seen. When this juicy pair aren't plowing, they stare intensely into each others eyes picking at their sex laden molecules. When the blondine son joins the army his buddies even want to get in on the action that he's receiving from dad. His jealous best friend and next door neighbor wants to move in for a buttery threegy with triple dicking---Who can blame him?

***

Qtrpounder Christine Pelisek of the LA Weekly, took me to a power bitch lunch at the Hollywood Roosevelt. They've redone the place and made it all piss eleganza.

Bricktops was a Cecil B. DeMille Extravaganza with Abby Travis performing accompanied by Kristian Hoffman. Abby looked divine as "Madame Satan". She always puts on a masterful show. The Abby Travis fanclub included french actors Je're'mie Elkaim(La' Cause d'un garcon)with Arielle Dombasle the wife of philosopher king Bernard-Henry Levy. Is Arielle having an affair with young Mr. Elkaim? Hmmmmm. Designer Michael Schmidt who made Abby's jeweled mask, Don Spiro and Augusta, Miss Morgan Olsen,celebrity photographer Kevin Abosch, lean sex machine Mario Diaz, the gay club kingpin and goth legendina David J.

Also in attendance Mr. Bruce "Judy" LaBruce who was on a stopover heading to Australia to show "Raspberry Reich" he'll be back in Los Ang for the movie's premire at Outfest, and the after party will be at Bricky's on July 16th. Judy was holding court with Javier Peres of the smoldering Peres Projects Gallery, dj Glen Masculine with beau St'Eve "Harrington" Hall. Dykon Gwen Turner with new black lady love Yolanda Lawrence of TV's "Line of Fire" I was involved with a little bit of smooching in the DJ booth with that fine English actor Ioan Gruffudd who is in that lame new Jerry Brockheimer playstation retelling of "King Arthur" I'm such the anglophile.

earlier in the week Daddy Athey cooked a feast for me and Judy LaBruce at his silverlake compound. I love it when Papa makes me a meal.

Saturday i escaped for a holiday retreat to Laguna Beach with one of my sweet young admirers, Jason North. Had a wondeful time. It felt incredible to get away from it all and do nothing during the holiday weekend. Ran into a former date of mine who now works up North for George Lucas.

***

Hosted the UnHappy Hour with a fine array of readers that included Keith Niles(Undergroundvoices.com) Sierra Sky of the zine Constallation, Brenda Martinez (Toe Dancing and Frenzied Circles) The featured readers were Alvin Orloff from San Francisco, who founded the art collective The PopStitutes and has two fantastic books out "Gutterboy" and "I Married an Earthling" and spoken word diva Jennifer Blowdryer of the White Trash Debutantes and Persiflage literary journal. Jennifer and Alvin are old pros, who really know how to command the stage. I'll never forget Alvin's giant penis one night at Tehoma sex club back in the early 90s. I was wanking him and didn't realize i was committing incest with a good girlfriend. Lady Bunny was also there that night, thank god i didn't accidentally doodle with her, too.
Jennifer performed as part of the Six Sex Weeks in Hamburg, Germany in 1996, with her Smut Fest show. I had a week run during that festival with my "intimacy and Tommorrow, subtitle: stupidity, today" piece.

That Ms. Blowdryer is the only one who can get away with picking a thread on stage for a good 5 minutes or spreading lip stick on a microphone then applying it to her lips, when she belts out a song in the grand tradition. Wowzina!

earlier in the day had a power bitch lunch with Cesar Vega. I just may do this short film called "Beyond Lovely" written by Cesar's friend Hilary Goldberg. I hate film scripts, but this one had me laughing out loud.

LES RIVIE'RES POUPRES

Saw the new Wayan Bros. comedy "White Chicks" found it actually a bit subversive, though i doubt if that was the filmmakers intent. "White Chicks" isn't brilliant like Tom Green's "freddy Gets fingered" but there were some cute elements of physical Harry Langdonesque comic manuevers that made me chuckle slightly. The two leads are attractive young men who could one day develop into top notch talent, but they have a long way to go at present.

What fascinated me was the so black he's blue pro-footballer "snow" queen---whose antics obviously are rooted in same sex desire for white men.
this "snow" queen drinks a spiked cocktail and mimicks the shirtless circuit boy 'meth' speaker hugging and flag twirling set in one vignette only to awaken in the arms of a beady eyed blondine surfer villain.

the overall tone of the movie is erratic in that grievous manner so prevalent in mainstream product, but the elder Wayan Bros.-- Keenan Ivory, the director, must be acknowledge for revealing so openly and without guile his homo panic and homo laced misogony in the treatment of the female black leads. His boldness in this regard is utterly disturbing.

I've never seen any of Wayan's other releases, but now i'm curious if this is a re-occuring thread in his talking piture ouvre. And to think i just wanted to see a hollywood guilty pleasure matinee.

***

Marcu' Siegel my Cheap Jewelry regie' from Berlin came to Los Ang for a sweet visit. David Pendleton of UCLA's Film and TV archive hosted a gala cocktail party for Marcu', that was a silverlake smashina. Lots of charming academes and uber intellects on hand for a raucaus Monday eve.

i filmed the second part of my Technova video in Valencia with Cyril and Jimothy overseeing the production. I really adore Jimothy. he's a spritely ginger headed boy who grew up on the wrong side of the Illinois train tracks. He's my working class hero, with the best energy surrounding him.

The boys later dropped me off at Dave Harrow's compound in the Solano Canyon section of Chavis Ravine next to Dodger Stadium. Cyril lives up the hill, and Jimothy down the sreet from Dave. There are a bunch of American and Euro artists living in the canyon, so its become this tasty boho enclave.

I laid down some lyrics on some new tracts that Dave composed in his new studio that was built by the same guy who created Prince's home recording palace in Minneapolis. The Technova album "Electrosexual" is supposed to be released in this country in August. Who knows if that will actually happen or not. The record is already out in Europe.

I'm such a control queen that its difficult for me to get excited about a project that i only contribute lyrics to. I need to create the melody as well, and sing the words not speak them. I know i'm not a singer, but that doesn't really matter. I have an original voice and with proper tweaking in the studio it can be made to sound incredible.

Dave is a talented musician and arranger, so if i came up with melodies and he re-worked them using his technical wizardry we could actually have a collab that has a little bit more meat and grind to it. oh welp, its not like I really want a career in music as a pop star, that would be lame.

In all honesty i hate performing, i'd rather be behind the scenes, nurturing and discovering new young talent, and perhaps writing material for up-and-coming youngsters.

ERDGEIST

June 11th Larry Bob came down to LA to perform with his combo Larry, Hall and Jack at Bricktops. They looked amazing wearing cute matching college seaters and knickers. Just adorable. The theme was Lorenz Hart and their group features Jack Curtis on vocals and Hall Hall playing trombone. I wish Larry could have spent more time down in Los Ang just hanging out with la diva, but he had other committments.

One of my old time pals the poet Tim Donnelly who lives in Berkeley, came to see Larry's group. Tim brought his baby brother.

Saw that English movie The Mother where this granny bopper starts to get it on with her daughters young lover. I loved the scene when the hunky younger man starts getting all hustler mean on her, and she's just cowering right next to his giant peterfication. Boy did that pull a cord. Us gals will go to whatever lengths to be able to chug on a nice full lug.

The Ditty Bops and Michael Lucid came by the studio for a visit. So great having them all. I just love mentoring young talents. Did a guest performance at Largo with the Ditty Bops on Thursday June 17th. Hadn't been to Largo since the mid 90s. I use to be a fixture on that stage, but the place kind of became this industry hub and i stopped hanging out east of Western so we lost touch, but the owner Flannagan and the sound guy both remembered me so it was a nice reunion.

June 18th and another Bay area visitor to Bricktops. This time song stylist and storyteller Jill Tracy. Jill is a great talent and captivated the audience with her moody pieces. I loved her quiet, sophisticated presence, so unlike other San Francisco performers who sometimes come across as shrill. Jill has an English husband who i found very sexy in a Daniel Craig kind of way.

The celebutants in the house included Samuel Frenchs Mark Simon, UCLA'S film and TV archive programmer David Pendleton, Marcu Siegel visiting all the way from east Berlin, director Roland Joffe and his wife, Mean Mommy of the Cheap Beer Club, Steak of Steakhause Productions, the beautiful Pigpen Myers Rifkin, poet Remy Matin, choreographer cutie Jean Spinosa and filmmaker Jedidiah. Bibbe Hansen and Sean Carrillo came by with Jake Gyllenhaul and Kirsten Dunst. I was so glad to meet Jake. I adore him. His sister Maggie has been coming to Bricktops a lot, but i was wondering when Jake would show up. Thank you Bibbe for bringing to me the boy of my dreams.

I started filming some videos for my new Technova project with Cyril and Jim. We had a lovely time romping through the subway system, kutting up in Hancock Park and in my studio. We're going to film some more on Tuesday and Wednesday in Valencia. Can't wait.

Lenny and Andrew of the Parlour club took me to dinner at Tantra in Silverlake. This trendy Indian restaurant use to be the Olio Theatre where i had great successes with The Afro Sisters back in the 80s. Was really weird being in that space as it is now. The food at Tantra was surprisingly good and so was the ambiance. I was expecting it to be really icky the way Silverlake is starting to become, but i was taken aback.

SLAVEN CREVE

I've been a very naughty girl of late and haven't been writing down all my missadventures for all the fans in my fandom. I've been ever so fraught with a bunch of power bitch meetings with all these people pitching me projects that they want me to be involved in. Every day i get 10 more emugs and phone calls. I'm not going to go into any detail, because its just all too too much.

Bricktops has been very juicy of late. The Ditty Bops finished up their residency with a big bang theory performance where they turned the place inside out as an underwater grotto. What an enchanting evening. I had a blast flirting with all the cutie butt pies and dimple danggers. The Bops are destined for hugeness.

The parade of admirers included Laura Michelchynshyn, head of Showcase Television in Canada and Jeremy Padeswa the director of HBO's Carnival also Cyril Kuhn who co-directed my erotic silent film "Wo Ist Manfred" and his pretty artist wife Karen Lofgren plus some of the C-Level art collective, Javier Peres of Peres Projects Gallery and those bubbly humpy dork Herbst Twins. The Bricktops regulars were in full force: Bibbe Hansen and Sean Carrillo, Shauna Leone, Don Spiro and Augusta.

Last Friday was our Gershwin Rhapsody in Blue nite, helping me DJ was special guest spinmeister Audre Beardsley of Clapton Pond and performances by Mr. Uncertains jazz band Uncertain which features Austin Texas on bass, Sid Arthur on guitar and hunky beauty boy Kenneth Thunder on drums. Bibbe brought adorable Jack Dishell the guitarist with NYC's Moldy Peaches and Sundance head programmer Shari Frilot came with Thomas Allen Harris the filmmaker and academic brother of Lyle Ashton Harris.
Madame Bricktops sang a song about not liking little men with little hands and little feet and also did a cover of the Franz Ferdinand song, "Jacqueline" embarrasing the boys of the band who were trying to drink some pints in peace. They seemed to like Bricktops version of their song which was one damn alcoholican rendition. The boys from Franz Ferdinand got into a little bit of a shouting match with muscular pro-beach volleyball players Jason Ring and George Roumain, who were a little stymied by the well dressed crowd. Word to Jason and George-----flip flops and shorts should only be worn at the beach fellas.

The Lady Ms. Davis saw a bunch of movies, the Yves St. Laurent documentaries, Saved, The Day Before and After Tomorrow and Harry Potter. The fashion docs were the best. Not even cute Jake Gyllenhaul could redeem the disaster flick, that wasn't Armagedony enuf and while Alfonso Cuaron does infuse the Potter film with a bit more edge, it still comes off a little flat.

my English husband Andrew of Gould's wife Charity Hope Valentine is back in Los Angeles. I've missed her, its great having her back in the gritty.

YAMINA BACHIR-CHOUIKH RACHIDA
The week that went. Robert Coddington the sound designer with H-Gun of Chicago who now lives here in LA came by the studio for a long visit and luncheon break. We had a lovely time reminscing about the old fun days in the Blindy Citi, yes Chieta was a town that was very good to me whenever i came through on tour in the 90s.

Mar'Lou De Luna and her hubby Hal Marinas took me to a radu din din at Cafe Du Village in Larchmont. I always have a phun time with them. I've known Marlou since the 4th grade when she was fresh off the boat from the philipines. Now she is a success lawyer working for the State of Cali and has a giant house in the La Canada/Flintridge Hills.

Professor Jennifer Doyle had a bon voyage party at her Silverlake compound. Nice little gathering. She cooked some amazing vittles and mixed wine spritzers that were very refreshing. She's off for Montepelier, France and won't be back to August. I'm going to miss that sweet smile and jewel of a personality.

Visited with my hot Aztecan Cesar Vega at his office at the old CFI Complex in the middle of Hollywood Proper. He took me to lunch at this industry hang called Grub. The food was fantastic and the owner a colorfull character with lots of charm and spunk. Later in the evening i had a movie nite with Andrew of Gould. We saw the latest segment of Pretty Things that dimunitive Michael and Amanda of the Ditty Bops produce. Its hilarious. I love the last vignette with a trendy Asian girl called "Fashion Victim" These kids are talended!

Had a power lunch at the Pacific Dining Car with Joel Lipman, The VP of Development and Rick Scott, the President of Autonomy a design firm in Hollywood that is branching out into production. They want to do a TV show with me where I can do anything i want. Little do they know what that would entail.

JEUX D'ENFANTS

My new sexy caucasion husband is celebrity photographer Kevin Abosch. I wonder where we're going to go on our honeymoon? Capri? St. Moritz? I'm so thankful to the Ditty Bops for introducing me to the perfect man.

The Ditty Bops performed at Bricktops as part of their May residency, to the delicious theme: "They're Wearing Them Higher in Hawaii" Amanda, Abby and their gang of sweet talented boys are the most amazing act that Los Angeles has ever seen or will see. I'm so fortunate that I get to showcase them at my little speakeasy. Soon they are going to be HUGE stars.

Lots of dignataries came out to pay homage to The Bops: Cute Gallic actor, Guillaume Canet of the new film "Love Me If You Dare" and his Belgian director Yann Samuel, who is very ugly. Mr. Samuel was putting the mack daddy moves on me, but i wasn't ready to receive them.
It was great hanging out with rock legend Rebecca Tucker Sevrin of Fright Wig fame and her good time sally girlfriend, also the dynamic Donita Sparks of L7 who came by with songbird Abbie Travis and Miss Exotic World Kitten DeVille,joined by a bevy of Bollywood Follies Beauties. I also got to chittle chat with archivist/videographer Robert Coddington and writer Joel, experimental filmmaker Thomas Gabela, Steak of Steakhause Productions and the great and glorious vision of true loveliness Miss Mink Stole, looking young and chic.

ST SOFIA

Forgot to write down that director Darren Stein of Jawbreaker fame took me to a delicious lunch at that cute greek restaurant at Normandie and Pico in what use to be LA's Greek district. Remember the Greeks invented homosexuality back in 1437. Darren is a very good looking Princess of Judea. Darren is going to be directing a gay romantic comedy written by my old pal Craig Chessler.
It was nice being able to hang out with Darren and have a sweet conversation outside of a crowded niteclub or party atmosphere.

PLUMKIN PARK

Cute New York Times photographer Jamie Rector took my picture riding my bike on Hollywood Blvd near my apartment. I hope they use the shots of me under the Music Box Theatre Marquee which read something like: Hollywood's Most Talented Women Awards what a hoot that would be.

Met with style editor Guy Trebay of the New York Times at Andrew of Gould's compound. Andrew cooked some snax and a bunch of the cute kids came by for a little pre-Bricky boozecanning. I adore that Markie Mag and his Suburbia Stable of bubble butt boys. He brought along some fine specimens: Matt, Jovin and Spense. Spense is going to be my bathtub gin baby-sweet. Immanuel Martin de la Felaise is back from Japan and is wearing an authentic dough boy uniform from the war to end all wars. He also has his 20s typewriter, chair and table where he will do the installation "Letters from an Unknown Soldier" Our special musical guests will be Robbie D and Squeeky Blonde aka: Tony performing a selection from their Telekensis show.

Cuddly crowd came to the club this friday including that sultry mulatto son of Edgar Bronfman Jr. named Ben Brewer who kept staring at me like he didn't believe i existed. Well i do Blanche, i do. This Brewer kid looks like a younger version of Lenny Kravitz. He has this band called The Exit that have been getting a lot of notice. I noticed his cute piece of snow bandmate named Jeff DaRosa. I'd like to munch on his darosa. The lovely designer of my 20s frocks Miss Morgan Olsen came by with her pretty beau. Its going to be fun having her hanging out at the club now that she's graduated from Otis Parson.

Saturday i spend with Immanuel. Was supposed to take Guy Trebay on a Ms Davis style bike tour, buts its way too hot for that. Sunday Guy comes by the studio and we have a lovely chat that goes on for hours, but seems like minutes. Is always a pleasure being around a great mind.

Tuesday in Belgium and Jeffreyland Hilbert takes me shopping for a new desk for the studio. That Jeffreyland he always comes to my lady rescue. I'm so delighted to report that my studio has a radiant fresh new look. Its a wonder what a new piece of furniture can do. I am one happy clam.

GOJIRA

Saw that little movie masterpiece The Mudge Boy starring an amazing Emile Hirsch and juicemonger Thomas Guiry. Wow! The swelling desire between these two lads is exhilerating, and when its unleased in the brutal, giddy abandon of forcefull sodomy, whew. . .its all in the eyes and the two young actors sure have appealing hairy eyeballs.

The only sour note is that i had to take the autobus all the way to tired West LA to see this film.

FIERY SPORTS SIP

Now i know nothing about sports, but i have some sports insiders who feed me items and in my formal column a ways back i wrote how Shaq O'Neill of the Lakers was down low-ding his snow boyfriends and how one of his former teammates, a cornfed hunkydorfus named Mark Masden was traded after their affair ended, well I'm hearing that Mr. Controversial himself Koby "I speak fluent Italian" Bryant could not have raped that girl in Colorado. Yes he actually had consentual sex with her just to appease the basketball groupie so she wouldn't badmouth him as being gayish when he initially turned her down and she made that strident implication. It seems lil cutie pie Koby has been way on the down-how-low-can-you-go seeing Sacramento Kings rising star Peja Stojakovic, and before Peja he was with a Russian teammate who was so crushed by their amouris breakis that he wanted to return to the Ukraine.

Now thats gossipal twuths with a capital "WEE".

LE TENTAZIONI DEL DOTTOR ANTONIO

Had my smoldering date with Frankfurt lothario Marcuse. He met me at my studio and the boys headlights knocked me out. Before i knew it i was on the floor convulsing like Glenda Jackson in the Ken Russell film "The Music Lovers" Our connection is unbelievable.

I took him to eat at the Kitchen, and both of us were starving. Thats the natural effect from high toned macking. What a beauty he is, and i can't believe he's fargone on "the doll". Lucky for me i met him before he became 'passed around patty'. He's only been in Los Angeles since January, lives in Westwood with his twin brother who is a professor at UCLA. Ah Spring.

Monday Morn had breakfast at Patty Powers spacious flat in Echo Parqay.
Patty made pancakes, veggie sausages, korkler eggs and fruit salad. Just perfect. I'm going to have Patty workshop her new monologues at Bricky's in July. It will be billed as "Five Minute Fireside Chats with Patty Powers, channeling the restless voice of Alice B. Toklas if Gertrude Stein had let her talk.

Talked to the gorgeous costume designer Crepe Suzette Mathelson who is back from filming the movie "Friday Night Lights in west Texas. The flick stars Billy Bob Thorten and Tim McGraw and is directed by Peter Berg. Its a high school football movie and also features beautiful young male ingenues: Jay Hernandez, and Garrett Hedlund.

PROVA D'ORCHESTRA

Received my weekly emug from the well connected industry insider who comes to Bricktops every week and then sends me a recap of who came that was famous. He usually sends the missive Friday nite when he gets home at 2:30am, but i didn't get it this week until Sunday morn at my studio.

I usually didn't recognize any of these people myself, since i'm hosting, DJ-ing and performing, i'm a little pre-occupied most Fridays.

Here's the list: actor Marc Ruffalo and wife Sunrise Coigney, Saffron Burrows, Patrick Fugit and Tony Leung Chiu-Wai. The first name i recognize from several recent films, i wish i had noticed him. He's really good looking in a dark and smoldering way. Loved when he danced in his underwear with Kirstin Dunst in the Jim Carrey movie "Spotless Mind" The other three i've never heard of. So thats that.

Saturday my good pal Anderson Cooper took me to the movies to see "The Saddest Song in the World" starring Isabella Rosellini, Marie deMeideros(Henry et June) and Mark McKinney(Kids in the Hall). What an amazing film, set in 1930s Winnipeg----Glen Meadmore country. I'm not going to tell you anything about it other then you must see it.

We ran into documetary film god Morgan Neville and his lovely wife Nettie of the fantastic country band, The Acres. Morgan is so patrician looking and handsome, with thick hands and feet, a WASP dreamboat---he must come from one of America's leading families of priveledge and commerce. You don't see superior genetics like that every day, let me tell you Sally!

Also ran into Iranian photog Pej and his sexy lover Paul Sibrizi of Famous Designs.

Anderson took me to eat at that cute Japanese restaurant we always go to in Little Tokyo.

Sunday morn ritual of getting the LA Times at the Cahuenga Newstand that is run by Diz E. McNally, the legendary LA personality and MC, who I've known for over 20 years. She is one of the cities most treasured originals with her multi-colored nailz and unique high pitched squeels.

LA VOCE DELLA LUNA

Professor Jennifer Doyle aka Pirate Jenny from Montepelier took me to eat dinner at Alegria, a cute latin restaurant in a mini-mall in Silver Lake near Millie’s. I hadn’t eaten at the place in years. There was a bit of a trendy crowd, and they’ve even hired some trendy people to work as waiting staff.
Incredible dinner, and the people in the dining room didn’t get on my nerves for a change. A bunch of really cute boys---low key and no tired cell phone queens thank gawd.

Professor Doyle wrote this great chapter in her new book about my performance as Vanessa Beecroft. Can’t wait till it comes out and the world gets to see it.

Went to Taylor’s Steakhouse in Koreatown to birthday soiree for writer Steven Mikulan of the LA Weekly. Steven is one of the smartest men in this Los Ang town, and his wife Sandra Ross is one of the sharpest ladies, not to mention she’s stunningly attractive. They are one of my top favorite couples. Got to hang out with the lovely madame fashion editrix Kateri Butler and the dynamic acting sensation and NEA Four member John Fleck, who looks sooo young and has the body of a teenage boy. I can’t believe he’s 53 years old.

Had to leave party early to meet Little Papa, Frank Rodriguez to go to Chico’s in Montebello. I’m writing a little article for this French fashion mag about Chico’s "Cockfight" male stripper nite, that features some hunky homeboy burlesque babes. My fav Chico’s boy Obregon wasn’t on duty, but there was this other one, who was short, stocky and looked like he was fresh out of the penitentiary-----yummy! Frank and I also needed to do some social studies work in preparing for our limo lap dancing club Knob Ill.

Hector made me a delicious dinner on Thursday, we were running a little behind schedule as I also had to do laundry. Wanted to go see Mr. Uncertain and Glen Meadmore’s Hot Horny and Born Again Cuntry band play at Zen Sushi, but we couldn’t make it.

Friday and Bricktops F.W. Marnau Nite. So many people ---the joint was packed. We screened Marnau’s "Faust" those images are amazing floating in the dark. The Ditty Bops theme was ‘Circus Maximus" and they pulled out all the stops. Those Ditty Bop girls are a wondermint. I love all their pals too, like their handsome staff photog who is a fiery Silver Fox beauty in the Richard Gere mode. Something tells me he is packing a nefarious cruel club----the kind that can open clams. This other young boy who was part of the performance, looked like a male ingenue of the highest order. He had taunt, tight little perky titties, I didn’t feel much of an ass though. And you know me, I am a major ass fienda from the olde school. I’ve got to have my fat bottom boys--they make the rockin world go round.

Nice to see regulars like photographer Don Spiro, who gave me some hot nudie pix of Louise Brooks for our upcoming Brooksie celebration on May 21st. Plus the poet Remy, who will be going to grad school in the bay area. He’s one of our best young 20s dancers. I’m going to miss his energy. Socialite Jean Spinosa also came by to trip the light fantastico. I chatted with film programmer extroidinaire Shannon Kelly, death rock legend David J. and this cute English actor Hugh Darcy who is in that movie "Ella Enchanted." I know there were some other celebs afoot, my spy who always tells me who is who, hasn’t emailed me his report yet. I never recognize anyone usually.

Oh I met this sexy Germany boy name Marcuse, I’m hoping to see him tomorrow for some good lovin’ and turtle dovin’ Keep your fallopian tubes crossed.

HOB GOBLIN

Here is a little letter from dear Lawrence Roberts, my most faithful of faithful followers and the mastermind behind my webpage and main archivist of all things Vaginal Davis, lore and mythology. He is vacationing in the east, as we like to say.

Hi Madame Doktor --

I am finally at a cyber cafe catching up on computer stuff,
and I will put up the May and June Bricktops calendars.

Here's what I've been up to.

The first two nights I spent in New York staying with Dickie Dworkin.(The famous feminists son)
The first night we went out to piano bars on Christopher Street --
the new yorkers singing made me wonder if San Franciscans still know
how to have fun. The next night I went to the Queercore Blitz shows --
this is a series of concerts on east coast cities, mostly lesbian bands,
with one band of three boys called the Dead Betties --
http://www.thedeadbetties.com/photos.html
Donna Dresch's new band Davies Vs. Dresch was also quite good,
and I like Gina Young with her political lyrics and varied musical
styles.

Then I took a bus to Washington DC (there were two eastern european girls
who were annoying the bus driver -- a big nelly black guy who had my
sympathy.) I'm staying with my college friend Juli and her husband John
and their red-headed three year old son -- they used to live in Reno, and
I haven't seen them since they moved and their son was born. They have
lesbian neighbors with a kid the same age and there's another lesbian
couple nearby -- Juli borrowed one couple's car to pick me up and the
other couple lets her use their computer -- very friendly.

Saturday night I went to Bob Mould's club night Blowoff (Bob was out sick
though -- hopefully he will be better before the marriage benefit concert
on the 28th in New York City). Sunday I went to the pro-choice march --
huge crowd -- they're estimating over a million. The queer contingient,
if there was one, wasn't very visible. Saw some radical cheerleaders and
so on. That night was the DC round of the Queercore Blitz show.

Today I spent the day at the Library of Congress (beautifully restored
recently) and got sheet music and played it on a Steinway Grand in a
soundproof room. Then I went to the Corcoran and looked at quilts, which
reminded me of a Karen Finley piece about how even quilts were found to be
obscene art because they had menstrual blood and semen stains on them.
(The Corcoran's the one that took down a Mapelthorpe show)

I went to Lambda Rising, which is much better stocked than A Different
Lite in SF, and got a book of comics about gay black men, a German lesbian
comic book in English , and a German magazine with pictures of Turkish bears.
One of them is even wearing a fez. This is stuff I've never seen in SF.

Tomorrow I plan on going to the Smithsonian, maybe even their archive
room, then head to New York on Wednesday.

Larry

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT IN AZBAKISTAN

Well the profile of yours truly came out today in Mz. LA Times. I can't believe it, I'm actually being recognized in my city of birth. That rarely happens. I love the piece it is very artfully written by Hilary McGreggor who spent a lot of time with me trying to delve into my nonsensical life. Hilary was actually the third writer who attempted to get me down in print at the Times. Janet Duckworth, the editor of the Calendar section also did an incredible job. The first approached me over a year ago, and now to see it is unbelievable. There was a time that the LA Times refused to print my name, it wasn't till after i was profiled in the New York Times that they relunctantly gave in. Well if you live long enough, people can't ignore you anymore.

I've already gotten a million emails and phone calls, Even though i'm self absorbed, i really don't like being recognized by strangers on the street, unless that stranger is cute and wants to have sex with me.

GORTH SHORE

Was shopping for birthday gifts for Andrew of Gould, and I notice that Academy Award winning actor Adrian Brody is stalking me AGAIN. Doesn’t he ever get tired of being a pest? My word, the man is cute, but he’s way too skinny and fragile for big boned lady me. Plus he has thin lips, and I only can kiss someone with full pouty lips like that young ingenue Michael Pitt from the Bertolucci film "The Dreamers"

Adrian even followed me into the tired Bank of America off of LaBrea and Melrose. I swear I’m getting a restraining order. I finally lost him when I ducked into the Chinese Theatre on Hollywood Blvd to see that teen flick "Mean Girls" I was a mean girl in high school, even though I was a freak, I was very popular, but by default, because I didn’t care that I was popular, and I made a point of befriending the most outcast of outcasts and re-making them into prized, guilded swans.

The movie Mean Girls wasn’t really mean enough. Lindsay Lohan is a likeable young lass, like me she has a full bosum. That poor Chabert girl, one of the co-stars, on certain angles she looks 45. All the boy actors were non-descript, though one caught my eye in a scene where he displayed lots of potatoey white breaded flesh.

CELINE FRION

My little jazz age party Bricktops, was effervecent. The theme was "Theda Bara" and one of my olde school girlfriends Europa performed her belly dancing majique. Miss Bricky also sang a song about Kobe Bryant and his Laker Medallion plus "No Thank You Please", from her twisted archive.
· I was really surprised to see Thom York of Radiohead. I guess he’s in town to play the Coachella Music Festival. He didn’t look like he was well, but sure drank a lot. He was with that brooding Brit actor Jonathan Rhys-Meyers(Velvet Goldmine) Maybe they’re gay lovers? Eek thats repugnant.
It was great seeing dycon Gwen Turner with her handsome new date, plus the gorgeous documentary filmmaker Augusta, who is always fetching. Miss Excotic World, the Regina of burlesque, Kitten DeVille put in a little appearance--she is vaudville royalty at its best plus that adorable gamine of a designing clotheshorse, Shauna Leone, and Joel Peter Witkin muse, The Goddess Bunny.

Thom actually came up to me in the DJ booth and said he loved my new Technova single "I Could Have Sex" that I collaborated on with Dave Harrow. I’ve been getting lots of emails from England, I guess the song is being played heavily on the mainstream radio stations there. The Album, "Electrosexual" doesn’t drops in a few weeks. I wonder how the single will be received in this country. Oh I’m sure it will be ignored like all my other musical projects. Lets face it, I wasn’t meant to be a pop star, certainly not at this ripe old age.

DUNCA DAVILLE

Heat wave, heat wave----the mortal enemy of all drag queens. The unseasonably cool spring has given way to summer death valley rays. Not good.
Bricktops was still a smash, with the warm temperatures. Anna Bells of the Fishnet Floozy's did a solo turn that was deliriously lovesexy. So many cute new kids at the club. Met a sweet black sister girlfriend visiting from Seattle---lovely lady with a vivacious and warm personality. Also saw a handsome brotherman, dancing the Charleston and This Mess-around---yummy.

An odd assortment of celebs came by ranging from supermodel Jenny Shimizu, cute boi writer Dave Eggers, British literary heavyweight Martin Amis, punkette Brody Dalle of the Distillers, plus Stella Schnabel with Paz de la Huerta. I just can't explain it so i wont. Regulars and semi-regulars included the delightful creative couple Don Spiro and filmaker Augusta!, juicy Shauna Leone, Dapper Dan, DJ Prickle, Ming Ma with cute new beau, singer Devendra Banhrt and Ed Simons of the Chemica Bros. (Are they a couple now? Sure were acting like one.