Der äußere Raum

My nutters frenemy Edward James Osmosis has been going to Burning Man in the Nevada desert for many years. You couldn´t pay me gatrillions of bar geld to go camping anyplace in the world. Mr. Osmosis talks about the spiritual connectedness of the event, the incredible art that is produced and the powerful friendships he has made on the playa.

I read in a news report that on the first day of the happening there was a dead body found. Mr. Osmosis texted me that he didn´t know anything about that, but sent this initial commentary:

I just finished a bar tending shift in my camp. GURL there was a fucken hottie, but he was so fucked up I did not serve him a drink. I wanted to drag him to my tent!!!!!!

OMG OMG these straight dudes, I believe he was on drugs not alcohol.

I told him "Sorry, man here is some water, now go and rest." He looked at me with confused, sad puppy dog eyes. I served him some more water. I could smell his sexy armpits. FUCK!

*

OMG OMG U cannot make this shit up even if you stank it first.

I walked into the Gloryhole camp.

Two elderly professional cocksuckers were waiting patiently chittle chatting. They are sitting on small designer chairs with towels, wipes and poppers. They are alert and ready to chow down. One looks just like Santa Claus from the 1947 film Miracle on 47th Street. The other is the splitting image of Irene Ryan aka: Granny from The Beverly Hillbillies, TV sitcom of the 1960s. He is wearing a flowered radical fairy dress and engineer boots.

A long haired blonde dude enters the Gloryhole camp. This guy is strutting and looking fierce. He has chiseled abs, bubble butt, is chesty with bullet nips. He pulls out a pretty sensational looking chorizo and walks over to Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies.

Well the Santy Claus, Chris Cringle gets pissed and says, "I´ve been waiting for hours for someone like him". Granny shrugs and sez, "Too bad he came to my gloryhole." These two old dudes start going at in a heated argument.

The hot blonde dude has his pretty, fully erect rocket shaped dick through the gloryhole. While the two geezers are yelling at each other, a little fugly and I mean FUUUUUGGGGLYYYYY, but perky Filipino swoops in and starts sucking on that big, thick white dick.

The Filipino dude was sucking that dick like he was a starved pirahna. The long haired blonde white dude receiving the spirited blow job sez, "Hey Bro, no teeth--calm down". The Filipino dude --she wasn´t able to relax or calm down. She kept on chowing at the same rabid pace. The surfer looking dude repeated, "Hey man, I said no teeth and please slow down." The Filipino dude was sucking Cruel Club Caucasian Cock like her life depended on it. The surfer dude ended up walking away and out of the Gloryhole club camp. The two elderly gentlemen, Santa and Granny continued to argue over proper Gloryhole etiquette!

*

Joaquin Phoenix pulled out of an upcoming Todd Haynes flicker because he got cold tootsies about the homosexy content in the film. The strange things is that he was the one pushing the graphic envelope with said film property that would have him performing hotsy totsy analingus on the gorgeous young Mexican starino Danny Ramirez. I pity the foolio who doesn´t want to munch on the perforated garden salad of Mr. Ramirez. Spicy beef curtains indeed.

Teer und Weinstein

The Vagimule Doll has been having a trying Summer with the weather going back and forth from coolish to sweltering. Not a happy recipe for a lady with late onset type one diabetes. Usually the month of August in Berlin means that Summer is over and is met with the Rains of Ranchipur.

This August has been very topsy turvy with fluctuations, and our heroine Miss Endicott aka: Vaginal Davis has been merrily rolling along trying to deal with her chronic illness as well as high blood pressure problemas. Adding another element is a brand new painting series that will be on exhibit in September at her west coast gallery of Adams&Ollman which is a two person pairing with the very gifted, young artiste ektor Maria garcia. The name of the exhibition is There´s Something About Maria. Excitement is imminent. Early in the month La Davis got to brainstorm in person with ektor who was in a whirlwind around Europa, making a sexy pitstop in the German capital of which everyone who met him wanted to get naked and begin fornication proceedings. ektor is all that attractive. If you get too close you will wind up preggers. So the pressure has been on for Ms. D to finish her new painting series about women with the name of Maria/Mary.

Of course that isn´t all that the scandalous scrampa of a woman Vaginal Davis has had to do, as she will be returning to Stockholm for the second half of her multi institutional assault of that Scandinavian city. Yes Sept 4 she will host a special double header screening of Milos Foreman´s Hair and Bob Fosse´s All That Jazz at MDT (Modern Dance Theatre). So come to the screening in your best Twyla Tharp look complete with dance belt and leggings, or just show up completely nekkid. Nudity always works in a pinchy pinch.

On September 7th at Tensta Konsthall will be a daylong art congress - Universitet Vaginal Davis of the Gifted and Damaged with presentations by Ron Athey & Hermes Pittakos, Constance Brosse & Olga Rozenblum, Maria Norrman, Stix Omar & Bror Ida Lennartsson, Radical Love (Samuel Girma and Sam Hultin) Iris Smeds, Lisa Teasley, and BLOW with BLEACH, Mzamo Nondlwana and others organized by George Chamoun.

September 14th 7:30 at University of Stockholms Accelerator Art Space is the unorthodox CHEAP performance A World Where Nothing is Private with CHEAP fearless leader Susanne Sachsse, Marcuse Siegelstein, Daniel Hendrickson, Vaginal Davis, Martin Siemens and Christian Fritzenwanker.

The Herzogin Davis needed a royal break from the onslaught and with her handsome young son Blood of Abraham aka Catherine Sullivan dancer Assaf Hochman she went to see Peaches, Gossip and Roisin Murphy perform at the open air concert space Zitadelle Spandau. Special thanx go to Gossip manager Tara Perkins of Hardline Mgm´t for putting them on the comp list. Since Lady D is a formalist pensioner the early start time of the said concert was a blessing, but the weather was much hotter then originally predicted which caused some swelling of the feet and knees.

Starting things off in a raucaus sexyline manner was the first lady of Berlina herself Peaches with a cast of energetic, hardbodied limousine lap and private dancers. Not even the crunchy soundsystem could dampen Peaches determination and verve giving the crowd juicy Leather Tuscadero ga-realness. After her scintilating set the Teaches of Peaches and lifepartner Black Cracker with entourage scurried after some Bratwürst in the food court which actually had some swellegant vegan options.

Next came Gossip and our girl Miss Beth Ditto giving so much Esther Williams that I couldn´t tell if she was Esther in Million Dollar Mermaid, Bathing Beauty, Dangerous When Wet, Easy to Love or Jupiter´s Darling. No one gives glam like Ms. Ditto who comes complete with a glam squad that every fashion ikone can´t do without.

Our Pepetual Lady Miss Beth breaks all the rules of stage performance--and its what we love about her, whether constantly chit chatting, even in mid song--her boundless teenage energy and zest for life is addictive like Poppers Stew. An original talent in the way of all great southerners: Harper Lee, Eudora Welty, Carson McCullers. Raw star power never has glared so brightly. I adore her --the voice, the attitude, the swagger, the translucent skin, the bee stung lips. True Beauty richocheting through the heavenly firmament.

Her brother in arms Nathan Howdeshell right beside her as her rock of Gibralter. Out in the throngs it was difficult to see who was drumming on this tour. Perhaps original drummer Kathy Mendonca substituting for Billie? But touring band members Bettie Page dopplegänger Bijoux Cone on guitar and keyboard gives great sass while bass player Teddy Kwo is the roaring twenties newly proclaimed hunky hero sex demi god. I wanna smell his jock strap!

When an old ladies dogs are barking its time for her to leave so she missed out on headliner Roisin Murphy, which is just as well as the crowd was by this time quite sloppy drunk and giving an air of effete hooliganism.

våren byington

bebisar fick aereola

With my blood pressure skyrocketing in Stockholm all I could think about was how Steve Albini was just two years younger --61 to my 63. I always though that Mr. Albini was the same age as my Pedro, Muriel & Esther (PME) drummer Big Dique Sneaky Pete Tomlinson or bassist Dean "The Babe" Opseth.

Of course I had forgotten how old they were. I´ve always felt like I was the much older stateswoman when the fact is I´m not as ancient as I see myself. I was born elderly, so being of formalist pensioner age at last feels kind of cozy and down with AARP as the new OPP frontier. Hey, you know me Grosvenor.

Recording in Steve Albini´s home studio in Chicago in the 90s was granada. He was the perfect stately punk gentleman, so kind and considerate. On the day I was to do my vocals he made for me his special brew of herbal tea, pampering and treating me like I was his kid sister. Did he even have a sister? Both Steve and his lovely wife Heather who looked like she was still a teenager were very accommodating to me and my lead guitarist Glen Meadmore, who can be quite a diva in her quiet Cree/Ojibwe manner.

The boy studio assistants were running around barefoot, preggers and skantily clad. Was that for my benefit? If it was, it worked wonders in keeping me overstimulated. There is nothing in all the world like cornfed, free range mid western youth bounding about topless with huge Barney Rubble feet wearing skimpy, see through booty shorts, daisy dukes and one humpy dork of a fella in an olde fashion jock strap, the kind they don´t make anymore. Both Glen and I were non stop oogling worse then Cornelius from the early 1970s Planet of the Apes franchise.

The first week in Stockholm at the National Museum we were working from 8:30 am to 5:30pm. I don´t exactly remember how our install time got reduced from two weeks to five days. The Scented Candle was very good at distraction. Scented certainly isn´t evil, just young and ambitious. I can see him becoming the director of a small museum or Kunstverein. He´d be really fantastic in that kind of position.

I really loved the day he came to the museum dressed like the Archbishop of Canterbury, complete with a black pleated skirt that reminded me of a dark colored version of the skirt Cyd Charisse wore when she danced with Fred Astaire in the Dancing in the Dark number from Vincente Minnelli´s 1953 MGM musical film The Bandwagon. I predict dressing like the clergy will become the new hot fashion trend for Summer into Fall. 

I wonder where the Scented Candle purchased his rainbow colored cha-cha boots with a cuban heel. I appreciate someone who is having a blast with fashion and doesn´t take himself too seriously. 

 I didn´t realize that cramming so much site specific work into a few days was going to take its toll on me. I´m lucky i didn´t have a stroke or a heart attack like our dear late Mr. Albini. Mr. Albini and his studio workers with their mighty might heavy peterfications. 

 I´ll forever and a day be indebted to Joanna Brown and Mark "Ears" Frietas of Homo Core Chicago for making it possible for Pedro, Muriel & Esther to get the perfect recording treatment by the maestro himself. Steve Albini I miss you, I love you.

I´m beyond exhausted, so more about the Stockholm takeover with Magnificent Product at Moderna Museet and the other institutions a little later.  Thank you for your patience.


Ms. Davis with young artiste extroidinair Maria Norrman.  That Davis woman has stopped dying her hair dark and is showing her slicked brown natural blonde color though at her age its more all white then blondine.  When Ms. Davis wears a wig its an Oprah Winfrey styled wig.  She wears Rick Owens gown designed especially for Magnificent Product and purse, jewelry by Jimmy Choo who sponsored artist dinner.  Mega Thank you´s Daphn`e Cousineau and Daniele Totaro

Caftan designed by Monika of East Berlin.  Shopping bag for Ms. Davis´ late onset type one diabetes supplies photos on bag by Hector "Azteca Warrior" Martinez

VD Hunkter No. 341-876d  Marlo Hummis







Ms. Davis in Rick Owens with curator Henrik Folkerts both wearing purses and jewelry by Jimmy Choo

Magnificent Partee with  hairy musclebound studkin  Ms. Davis´s makeup by Scandic Elva

No One Leaves Delilah A (W)rap on Friction Diction

































Spicy Beef Curtains at the Parlour Club.  Vaginal Davis in Pleather, The Dorian Corey Story



















RIP Steve Albini

Die Tochter des Optimisten

Working so diligently for over a year on my big solo museum exhibition that opens May 17th at the Moderna Museet in Stockholm, Sweden has been quite taxing in a number of ways. As an anxious Nelly of a girl it´s very difficult for me to relax and not worry about a gazillion things I basically have no control over.

Facing blood pressure tissues raging in the stratosphere, I've had to increase my exercise output with more Deutsche style long walks or as I like to call them promenades. Two Buffalo Gals go round the outside. Deep tissue massages that I was doing twice a month I now have to do weekly, plus increasing therapy to two times a week.

That´s why it was such a heartfelt surprise and shock to receive an email from Tara Perkins, the lovely longtime manager of rock band Gossip. I had thought Gossip had disbanded, but they just went on a short hiatus for a decade plus.

I first met Tara and Gossip over twenty years ago when I hosted Homo-A-Go-Go in Olympia, Washington. Of course I was blown away by their music and the electrifying presence of lead singer Beth Ditto. Miss Beth reminded me of my sister girlfriend Alice Bag mixed into a potpourri of Tallulah Bankhead, Eudora Welty and Mama Maybelle Carter serving a sidebar of teenage Tanya Tucker thrown in for jolly good measurina.

Gossip was having a record release/listening party for a select group of diehard fans and wanted me to host the event. I felt like I needed to do something that wouldn´t be too taxing on me, but got me outside of myself and all the work that was stressing me to death on my own exhibition. Fortunately being hostessa with the mostess on her balls meant just being present at the Dussmann KulturKaufhaus on stage with the band members as the audience grilled them with loving questions and admiration. So I would be closer to the venue they put me up at the Park Inn Hotel, the GDR era hotel with the delicious views. I was ensconced in the depths of the 90th floor corner suite being treated to a luscious unexpected staycation, which helped me really relax and my blood pressure magically rescinded. Thinking about something other than myself was key. Of course getting a chance to reunite with Miss Beth, Hanna and Nathan was a super duper trooper treat in and of itself. As hostess I really didn´t have to do much as they are all so articulate and verbose. They are really vulnerable rock starinas who aren´t afraid to get real and emotional in front of their legions of followers. It was so refreshing being around them and their crew that includes a glam squad, no nonsense tour manager Lady Gina Coates keeping everything running like a well oiled gachine, Columbia/Sony Music Group´s Markus Drzymalla, a tall and dashingly handsome youthquaker, Miss Beth´s personal assistant the charming Sophia, a young lady originally from NYC who now lives in one of my old stomping grounds of Los Angeles´ Froggtown aka: Atwater Village.

Gorgeous Laura Weidenfeller of Dussmann and her intern Greta took such great and loving care of every little thing. We were escorted to the private apartments of Madame Dussmann herself, and ushered into the Versace Room which was our greenroom. The famed lady herself Frau Dussmann peeked in to say hello and she happens to be an American from Los Angeles ruling over a gigantic German empire. I joined her in a champagne toast which left me a little excrement for brains as I had eaten a light lunch not wanting to appear bloated in front of the publicum.

The highlight of my reunion with Gossip was their sneak performance in Kreuzberg at the Lido. Got to meet the new band members who are striking. Bijoux Cone the synth player is a bonafide buxom beauty and Tura Satana of Faster Pussycat Kill Kill Kill Doppelgänger who adds so much to the allure of the band along with hottie Teddy Kwo, a sex studkin of a dynamo on bass who has such rock-n-roll swagger and virility that if you stand too close to him you will wind up preggers. I loved his Pachuco/Teddy Boy look, very NOW and WOW! Of course Hannah and Nathan are two of the most electrifying musicians in the known world, and it was magnificent seeing them back in top form. Hannah´s drumming reminds me of my cousin Carla DuPlantier of the famed Los Angeles early punque band The Controllers, and England´s Jimmy the Hoover. Hannah and Nathan equal sexy is as sexy does.

The new album Real Power is a colossal revelation. It's a spiritual opus of extroidinary depth and imagination. I´ve been listening to it over and over again and each time I find something new and more uplifting, sensual and compelling. The album brings me to a boiling point of religious ferver and supplication. Miss Beth´s voice has never sounded better, with that signature trill she uses that provides such oomph to the selections. My favorite song is Act of God, followed by Turn the Card Slowly but every song is a gem with some having forlorn qualities that shatter your soul with its dignity, zest and pure passion play. Gossip working once again with The Lady Miss Rick Rubin is a hallowed blessing. Like what he did with Johnny Cash he recognizes their kindred poppers stew calling, and brings that into sharp high focus. Blessed be.