Fetish Baroque

Been getting a lot of spotlighted international press for my collaboration with Jamie Stewart of XiuXiu reciting one of his poems on the album Forget.  I did this recording back in 2015 when we were working on The Magic Flute Part One-An Opera in Six Steps in New York City.
 A very sexy, handsome K-Pop Producer who is a big XiuXiu fan has been shuttling me to a secret villa location somewhere between Brandenberg Commons and Potsdamng  for field recordings and what not.  The producer and his crew are all mega fine, tall and muscular.  Like most young people they are a little too stoner hesher chick for my taste, but the experience has been delightful plus they came with a private chef making the most tasty Korean dishes that remind me of K-Town in Los Ang. Its all very mysterious and hush hush, and I hope the Vagimule doll doesn't wind up kidnapped and shipped off to North Korea as the race horse arsed concubine of big dicked dearest leader darling Kim Jong-un.  I'm supposed to be going to China and Korea soon courtesy of the Goethe Institut for site specific location scouting for my latest project on Anna May Wong.
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Myrecent time in Paris was beyond devoon.  Got to reconnect with my dearest olde pals the great Michele Lamy and genius genius genius Rick Owens.  Rick invited me as his special guest to see his Fall collection during Fashion Week at Palais du Tokyo.  I was picked up by the most beautiful young curly haired rosy cheeked French boy at my lovely Hotel du Vieux Marais on 8 rue de Platre and rushed over to the Palais to hangout backstage with Michele who was looking radiant in the way that is synonomous with all that has been the Michele Lamy I have known for over 35 years.  Seeing all the fashionistas and peronistas upclose and personal was a little bit overwhelming.  Rick was being interviewed by countless journalists so i took my first row seat in the family section.  Ricks wonderous Mexican mamita Connie was also at the show.  She comes all the way from Porterville for every one of her famous sons spectaculars, driven to the airport by non other then Glen Meadmore.

What can i say about a Rick Owens fashion extravaganza other then Rick is the ultimate operatic showman.  He is this centuries great Florenz Ziegfeld at his gamey game best.  The fashion show reminded me of a deconstructed version of the 1941 film Ziegfeld Girl that starred Judy Garland, Lana Turner and Hedy Lamarr.  Here like in the movie the ladies descend a staircase, but instead of books on their head its sex magic pageantry.  Ziegfeld Girls designer was Gilbert Adrian and Rick salutes him sortof, with an utterly sublime army of Lesbian lovers and General Jinjur's armada of revolt taking seige upon the Emerald City of Oz to remove the Scarecrow (That orange creature in the White House) from his throne.
What about the clothes? Aleister Crowley tiara's adorned with hoody sleeves, Sigmund and the Seamonster tendrils, Puff  the Magic Dragon blankets, hajibs and grandma wore the bustle spicy beefcurtains and pampas rosettes, while Kenneth Anger is invocating his younger, smarter demon brother.

After the show I had to do major saaphic processing by taking a long walk in the Parisian night air.  I walked for over two hours arriving fashionably late to Rick & Michele's dinner party in my honor.   I still can't believe after putting on such a miraculous event that Rick & Michele still wanted to have a dinner party for me in their 7 story palais that use to be the offices of Francois Mitterand.
The supper was sumpteous created by their personal chef the young hunky African Malonga.  I've never eaten so well.  My Paris crew included artist Wu Tsang and her girlfriend the performer Boychild, Norweigan experimental musician Bendik Giske, Editathon Art&Feminisms curator Flora Katz and Francois Quintin the director of Lafayette Anticipations the institution that brought me to France. Didn't get to talk to Rick very much at dinner as his charming photog pal Danielle Levitt and her boyfriend who are LA natives, and Rick's other friends wanted to know all about me and my relationship to Rick and Michele.  Michele's daughter Scarlette Rouge was in New York where she had a visual art opening.  Scarlette's murals are the center piece of the Owens/Lamy drawing room.
The next morning i was back at the Owenscorp Officina for a photo shoot supervised by Rick and shot by his creative director Luke.  I can't believe I was photographed without a wig and absolutely no makeup, modeling the Crowleyesque headdresses.  Since Rick and I are both workaholics, its the only time we are relaxed and able to seriously talk.  His mom Connie made her famous persimmon cookies for me and we both discussed our bi-racial identity.  Rick's late father was a white intellectual who infused in Rick a love for classical music and high art.  The music for the fashion show as a Beethovan piano sonata remixed and edited by Jeff Judd/aka Jolet a mutual friend of ours who has done the music for all of Rick's show.  Rick seemed to agree with my assessment  that the cold, harsh,  anglo side of his personality from his father, mixed with his mothers Mexican warmth and generosity give his talent the edge that has made him such a sparkling success.  I told Rick that my father was born in Mexico and my grandfather was a mean old cranky Prussian born in Berlin, and I doubt that as we both age there is certainly no chance of us turning into mean old bitter white dudes
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For my performance at the Editathon with Wu Tsang at the beautiful Archives nationales I was fortunate to have a gorgeous young Morrocan assistant Tarek Lakhrissi who was devoted to the doll. Tarek who is a poet, is tall and strikingly gorgeous and knows all the juciest youthquakers in Paris.
I didn't expect such a large crowd to come to my performative talk with Wu on the late great NYU Professor Jose Esteban Munoz.  One of the themes of the Editathon was Disidentifications which is the name of the famed academic treatise written by Jose that continues to inspire young people the world over.  I am the books cover girl and Jose writes a chapter in the book about my work.
The Editathon is in its third year in Paris and is devoted to two days  of editing workshops to reduce the gender gap on Wikipedia platforms.  The young pretty and smart curator Flora Katz worked in partnership with Wikimedia at the Sorbonne University.  When working with a young curator I was a little worried that she would expect in my staged conversation with Wu that we should explain things. One of my biggest peeves with the art and theatre world with dramaturgy is this constant need for further explaination  and the pull to present in a linear fashion.  Of course  I have fought against this way of thinking for over 30 years, yet it sometimes still rears its head.  I was positive that once Wu and I began talking it would all come together organically and the audience would appreciate my more abstract style of performance and they did eagerly with few walkouts.
The audiences for the two day congress were a lovely cross generational/cross racial mix, Something you hardly see in Germany.  I was interviewed by a lot of young feminist writers, activists, bloggers,  and journalists who give me a lot of hope for the female future.
In the audience for my perrformance with Wu was the great writer Dennis Cooper who now lives in Paris.  He came with film director Christophe Honore and actors Romain Duris, Gaspard Ulliel, Gre'goire LePrince-Ringuet, Clotilde Hesme and Simon Porte Jacquemus.
I really enjoyed the lecture of art critic and art historian Elvan Zabunyan and the dramatic interpretive dance by Boychild with assist on saxophone by Bendik.  Wu's ejaculating sculpture was the perfect addition to the  proceedings spritzing every 40 minutes or so.
On the second day Wikipedia editing chief Kvardek du  did a nice subtle performance slyly transforming from a Dauphine into a Chavalier and then a Renaissance Prinzessin.  The congress closed brilliantly with an informatively sublime lecture by dulcimet voiced performance studies specialist Hypatia Vourloumis, the beautiful and enchanting Greek/Indonesian former student of Dr. Jose.  Hypatia who looks like a mixture of famed Greek actress Irene Pappas and bond girl Barbara Carerra is carrying the Disidentification torch with grace, intelligence, dignity and aplomb.

Richtig blassen!

Richtig rammeln!

My mother Mary Magdelene Duplantier use to say, “I don't like little men, with little hands and little feet.” 

During my spoken word days I added to her phrase, How would you like something little crawling all over you?

Lately all I have been seeing in Berlina are men with the tinest of feet and hands. Feet that are like the hooves of the Teufel-SatanLuciferBeelzebub.

Please tell me what is going on?

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Damien Davis, the gifted Black New York artist is one hellzopplin dynamo mufioso. I've been meaning to update you on his prolific career, but my sad PC lap top has been on its scrounging last legs lately. I never know if its even going to turn on or permanently go off. Mr. Davis is not related to the doll, but I like to humorously say that he is either my nephew or the grandson of Sammy Davis Jr. and wife Altovise. Well lovesexxxy Damien has an upcoming solo show:

June 16th - August 5thMethod Gallery
106 3rd Ave S
Seattle, WA 98104
 

Currently on view:

Oneness (Curated by Jonathan Patton) LAST CHANCE!
On View:  February 9th - February 28thHarlem School of the Arts
645 St. Nicholas Ave
New York, NY 10030jux·ta·po·si·tion (Curated by Lonnie Woods III)
On View:  February 15th - March 4th
New York University, Rosenberg Gallery
34 Stuyvesant Street
New York, NY 10003

Upcoming discussions:

 

In March...

Structure (Curated by Will Heinrich)The NYC Creative Salon is a series of discussions that take place bi-weekly. Each discussion is approximately an hour and a half long and takes place on a weekday evening. Each series is six discussions under one topic and each discussion has a different group of participants speaking on the topic. I will be a participant in the March 7th conversation. Check out the NYC Creative Salon website to listen to the conversation once it is up.

Recent Releases:

Love For Love / Hate For Hate: A Glossary Of Our Time

This 76 page zine includes work by 75 contributors (visual artists, writers, designers, and educators) responding to 73 words surrounding the 2016 presidential election season.

50% of all proceeds go to Planned Parenthood

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All my Gallic fanatics please note that on Saturday March 4th as part of Art&Feminism Edithon an art congress curated by Flora Katz

I will stage a performative conversation with juicy artist Wu Tsang one off my most celebrated high art children.  The event will be  called No one Leaves Delilah – A (W)rap on Dr. Jose E. Munoz. Its sort of a riff on the last performance that I did with the late great Dr. Jose back in 2012 that was part of the hoopla surrounding my first visual art exhibition at Participant Inc. Gallery. 

This art and academic fest will also include lectures, interventions and a performance by Boychild with Djanes and a myriad of other earthly delights. 

My section starts early at 3:30pm at the Archive Nationales and includes high tea. The last time I performed in Paris was back in 2010 for the Fuck My Brain series curated by Marie-Helene Bourcier at Le Palais de Tokyo.

website.

https://lafayetteanticipation.squarespace.com/editathon-artfeminism-2017

I am also looking forward to connecting with my old pal the Paris based fashion guru Rick Owens and his wife Michele Lamy.

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I completely forget to tell you about my time last month in Athens for the first Gender Fest held at Booze Cooperativa. The wonderful Maria Cyber the director of Outview, the Gay and Lesbian Film festival of Athens created Genderfest in cooperation with the Rosa Luxemburg Stiftung Office in Greece. Genderfest isn't just a satellite of Outview but takes it one step further presenting artists whose medium isn't just film, but also photograpy, music, performance, akshun and spoken word. I had a marvelous time with Maria and her fab, hard working crew that includes girlfriend Henrietta, Miss Melitta(hostess with the mostess on her balls who use to sing and perform in Texas), Jason Antigone, Frossini, Alex Demetriou and the wonderous Raleia. The invited guests included legends like Del LaGrace Volcano, handsome and talented Amos Mac, Vanessa Lopez & Company, the brilliantine Feminist/academic art duo Samania(Samira Mahboub &Ania Catherine, Djane team The Beatches,lokal drag ingenue Zackie Oh! Activist Marina Galanou, and the incredible musical sensation Tami T of Sweden. Maria and her gang aren't only the best event organizers and planners but are the most generous hosts feeding us all every evening some of the healthiest most delicious food I've ever eaten. They even took us on a field trip to the Temple of Poseidon which is an hour out of Athens with breathtaking scenery and a sunset to end all Hellenic sunsets.

There is something new, extroidinary and politically charged in the Athenian air that I hope innoculates the rest of Europe. 

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Another New York Miracle of beauty and sterling ability is the young artist Baseera Khan. Baseera collaborated with me on my award winning solo show Hag,small, contemporary, haggard back in 2012 and now she has her first solo “iamuslima” at Participant Inc. which is now up and running till uptil April 2^nd. If you are in the tri-state area it is a must destination point.

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I promise to include some more rumour and salacious innuendo from my new gossipeuse Miss Hokey Knickerbocker of the famous gossip Knickerbocker dynasty.  Hokey has the perfect set of lavenderia lady loose lipps Inc of anyone I know so when I get back from Paris and before I romp of to China expect a Knickerbocker dipthong. 

Galaktishch geil

Echte Kerle
Just received this from the famed German experimental film guru Wilhelm Hein and his partner the art photog Annette Frick.  If you are in Paris you don't want to miss this rare treat from this legends legend.

Dear friends and enemies!!
Please join me live or in your mind!
You see,im still alive!
yours forever wilhelm

THE FILM GALLERY PRESENTS

VENDREDI 24.2.2017 8:30 PM

WILHELM HEIN 16MM DOUBLE PROJECTIONS
1972/2O17

LIVE SOUND
CLARK GABLE

43 RUE DU FAUBOURG ST MARTIN
75010 PARIS 

Gefaehrlich sexy

Eine saubere Sache!

The 67th Berlinale just ended and of course I caught a cold because being the fool that I am I didn't change into my street clothes after Djaning the Forum party at AdK. Instead soaking wet in my lovely Rick Owens gown I went out in the night air. Lucky for me Djane Olga Damnitz gave me, Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus and Diane McCarthy of FM Reboot a ride home in her trusty babydyke stationwagon. Obviously I am not use to coming home at 5am.

Had a great time Djaning the Forum Party this year with assist from a real Djane in the form of the mega talented Olga Damnitz. Empress Stefanie had the brilliant idea of having the drag queens from the Forum Film Casa Roshell directed by Camila Jose' Donoso do an impromptu performance singing traditional Mexican songs. It really got things going and brought a bit of a sexymexy flavour to cold bleak Berlin. There were so many films this year I wanted to see, but my gouty knees and feet kept me limited. In the Forum section I missed Joshua Z. Weinstein's Menashe about a portly Hasidic man and his young son, I did see Alex Ross Perry's Golden Exits which I could have easily skipped as it wasn't intriguing accept for nice performances from Adam Horowitz of The Beastie Boys, Chloe Sivigny and a stellar Mary Louise Parker. The theme for the Forum Expanded exhibition this year was The Stars Down to Earth which as usual was lovingly designed and installed by Angela Anderson and her top flight crew that includes Mascha Nehls, Richard Gabriel Gersch, Cat Barich, Alexia Apolinario, Catalina Fernandez, Josephine Breiberg, Laura Gamberg, Coral Short, Mark Andre Pennock & Company. My favorite pieces this year Constructed Futures: Haret Hreik by Sandra Schaefer,Purple Bodies in Translation by Joe Namy, The Karrabing Film Collective piece and Izadora (listening to versions of herself) which should have been in a room all to itself as the sounds from other installations interfered with its tranquil nature.

So glad I got to see both versions of Susanne Sachsse the fearless leader of kollektiv CHEAP's Confessions of an Actress at AdK and at Kino Arsenal along with Judy LaBruce hilarious Ulrike's Brain. This year could have also been subtitled Sachssenale as she was featured in 5 films. La Sachsse is the epitome of great beauty, profound talent and super smarts. 

The other big buzz item of the festival starrying Miss Susi Su was LaBruce's The Misandrists a loose remake of Don Siegels 1971 classic The Beguilded starring Clint Eastwood and Geraldine Page. Kembra Phafler one of the other stars was giving excellent Geraldine Page realness in the film, but its Ms. Sachsse and breakout young star Kita Updike who shine the most though the entire cast is quite stunning. Because of the criticism I received for favouring only Forum Expanded and Forum films I branched out a bit by seeing more Panorama offerings. Loved  the delicious Call Me By Your Name by Luca Guadagnino starring WASPY jew Armie Hammer and young Timothee Chalamet whose chemistry on camera continues off, if you believe the rumours, and I certainly do. God's Own Country directed by bearded Yorkshire brownbear dadster Francis Lee was also quite powerful starring juicy dark ginger skally lad Josh O'Connor. With freezing temps in Berlin it felt great to see the summer lovers film Bing Lang Xue by Hu Jia featuring two sizzling Chinese youth, one who flaunts his stuff in hustler white pants. I could have done without the films florays into violence, the main storyline was more then enough. Of the Competition films I only saw Viceroy House by Gurinda Chadha. I am a sucker for a costume drama and this one has Gillian Anderson in it. I wish Ms. Chadha had told her families true story set during the period of partition instead of the lame love story inacted, but at least I got a chance to druel over hunky Indian star Mannish Dayal.

This year Rising Stars, Falling Stars was part of the 12^th Forum Expanded Think Film Congress No 5-Archival Constellations. The panels and talks started at 10am at silent green Kulturequartier and ended at 10pm. Some hardcore archivists told me that they loved the endurance aspect of this year's congress, but I like coming to see programs every day for short time bursts. I wisely chose the 1957 Bugs Bunny Warner Brothers cartoon Hare-way to the Stars directed by Chuck Jones with vocalizations by Mel Blanc to close the day, and everyone seemed to agree with me including: celebs like Chino Darin, Guillaume Canet, Ellar Coltrane and Jai Courtney. Rising Stars regulars Daniel Hendrickson, the Jewish Muzlim, Trixie Schonherr, Stephan Ahrans, Uli &Anke, Nanna Heidenreich, Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, and Clarisse Mehring were all having a hoot of a time. My former Malmo Art Akademie student Maria Normann took a ten hour bus ride from Sweden to attend Rising Stars and Forum Expanded screenings and exhibit while glamorously dressed taboot! It was also a delight to see one of my old LA pals now a top notch Hollywood producer Mr. Bryan Rabin. Bryan use to do the club Cherry in WeHO and also was the mastermind behind many big corporate industry parties and events. Bryan started his career as a professional Olympics style ice skater and still maintains his championship youthful physique. His movie Freakshow based on the novel by clubkid James St. James was in the Generations section of the Berlinale.

One of my more recent students Brenda Lien from Offenbach Kunst Universitaet was representing with a film in Berlinale Shorts called Call of Cuteness that was part of the Utopia Unplugged theme. Her film was a 4 min long animated meditation on unbridled capitalismos. Pretty Brenda is certainly a talent to watch and also within her segment the Argentine film Centaura by Nicolas Suarez, Helen Yanovsky's The Boy from H2 featuring a most expressive Palistinian child. I walked out on David O'Reilly's video game Everything-yuck!

Did not do very much partying this year but did go to the Panorama reception(Thankx Gerit!) and ran into my old Silverlake pal the Lars Von Trier darling Udo Kier who was my scrumpteous cover model for when I was guest editor with Ron Athey of the LA Weekly Style Issue back in 2000.

TRAMM und KNACKIG

Hollwood Fisting

Damien Chazelle has a very glamorous name that is in keeping with the moniker of directors Max Ophuls and Joseph Losey. I saw his film Whiplash when riding from Berlin to the States on a KLM aeroplane flight and I liked it. I feel that Whiplash was also a musical. I wanted in all sincerity to endorse LaLa Land as I am a great lover of the musical film genre. I didn't expect Mr. Chazelle the Hollywood company man to be on the same level of Vincente Minnelli, Rouben Mamoulian, Stanley Donen or Gene Kelly, but I thought that perhaps he had in him the careerist abilities of a George Sidney, Chuck Walters or at the very least Richard Quine. He seems to be borrowing heavily from the Woody Allen Everyone Says I Love You playbook. Instead of badly copying The Bandwagon he should have looked at a movie musical like Godspell or Hair for pointers.

Despite the valiant effort of likeable stars and troopers Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone the film falters. I was puzzled by the musical score of Justin Hurwitz and choreography of Mandy Moore. There were momentary flashes where the music and dancing seemed like they were going someplace interesting, and I'd get excited, then it would fizzle out. In tone LaLa Land can't decide whether its working anti-naturalism or the Threepenny Opera kitchen sink.

Noticed in the credits of LaLa that one of my Club Sucker at the Garage kids Steve Gizicki was the musical supervisor. Steve was always a methodically ambitious lad. Last time I saw him in 2003 in London he was working for George Lukas.

Now that musicals are back on the Hollywood radar, perhaps someone will crank out one that really sizzles.

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Got to re-connect with my niecy the gifted novelist Lisa Teasley while she was in Berlin visiting her hot German lover. Lisa has been in Shanghai for several months on a writers residency. Miss Lisa is one sexy black mama who radiates divine charm and splendour. That quality comes through in her writing. Please go out and get her short story collection Glow in the Dark and her two novels Dive and Heat Signature. I felt very fortunate to have Lisa as a special guest on CHEAP Funk ReBoot FM's public radio program that kollektiv CHEAP hosts occasionally. I was feeling under the weather and tried to cancel, but had waited too late so the show went on. Marcuse Siegelstein and Susanne Sachsse of CHEAP were out of town so it was up to Daniel Hendrickson and I take up the reigns. I called the program Carte Blanche and besides Lisa featured Manuel Schubert aka Vicki Baum of the Taz.de. Go check out the podcast here:

http://reboot.fm/2017/01/14cheap-funk-5/

also the CHEAP Funk podcast from the end of last year:

http://www.mixcloud.com/rebootfm/cheap-funk-4-2016-12-03/

and http://reboot.fm/2016/09/24/cheap-funk-they come-from-the-future-2kottifm/

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At this time I would like to introduce to my dear readettes the sultry Miss Hokey Knickerbocker of the famous Knickerbocker gossip dynasty. Hokey's great uncle was Cholly Knickerbocker and her aunt was Suzi Knickerbocker so she comes to us at VD is SFTD with a royal pedigree:

Thank you Vagimule, and I do mean mule but in the nicest way possible sweets. Just want to start off by telling you of some delightfully scandalous picadillos of some of my favorite Hollywood couples. Ava Mendes and Oscar nominated Ryan Gosling are the perfect pair. So are Anna Faris and Chris Pratt. What their legions of devoted fans don't know is that these lovely Hollywoodites are just mad about the game of basketball. Well not so much the sport but the players that come with it. Both Anna and Eva arrange for their husbands to have group sex with some of basketballs finest players. Thats right the ladies love seeing their men making it with the likes of Jeremy Lin, Tyson Chandler, Jason Smith, JJ. Redick, Derrick Rose and Rick Rubio. Its a little strange but stars have appetites that are different from you and I.

Joshua Kushner the handsome brother-in-law to Princess Ivanka of Trump has been spending a little too much time lately with Queen Melania, but Ivanka hasn't told her father the King about it and won't as long as they remain discreet. Daddy Dearest is way too busy running the country to notice what his wife does behind his back so please don't tell him. Josh is too cute to be killed.

Geil und gesellig

Feeling very Blue Mondo Connie ala Turk because my therapist has been on holiday. My 20 something hetero mixed martial arts pal Melchior decides to treat the doll to dinner and a movie to cheer her up. We don't have the same cinema taste so it takes 45 minutes after supper for us to finally agree upon seeing the Sci-Fi clunker Passengers starring the lovely Hollywood ingenue Jennifer Lawrence, who is one of the rare modern day stars that I actually like even though I have only seen a few of her films traveling on a plane.

The male lead in Passengers is humpy, big foot jughead Chris Pratt. I'm hoping that Chris will be barefoot and shirtless at least once during the film.

At the kino kasse we find out Passengers is in 3-D which I abhor, so my companion forces me at gunpoint into a screening of Nocturnal Animals. Animals tells the exciting and atmospheric true life story of successful LA gallerist Shaun Caley Regen of Regen Projects(Catatonic Amy Adams wearing a darkus lipstain and smokey eyeshadow)

Her gay brother played by an unseen Russell Tovey is having an affair with her husband the sleek Armie Hammer who is actually wildly in love with her ex Jake Gyllenhaul, a third rate writer who likes to take a lot of scalding hot showers, and over moisturizes.

The standard hilarious hijinks ensue when the films director Tom Ford appears halfway through the proceedings and forces his ravishing supporting player Aaron Taylor-Johnson to mount him KeyLime Pie style on a dirty back road in West Texas. Mr. Ford drinks a liter of Mr. Taylor-Johnsons sweet tasting semen, straight from the source in real time with no flashbacks, as a gold Miata convertible stationwagon driven by singer Beth Ditto pulls up and whisks the fashion designer/film auteur away as tumbleweeds flit into frame and the credits of Peter Bogdanovich's 1971 film The Last Picture Show rolls out.

Had cafe and kuchen with Nik Dragovic and his lovely beau at the end of last year. Nik is the cute and sweet young Serbian/CostaRican Research Library Fellow from Emory Universities Digital Library Program. I met Nik last year at the Goethe Institute in New York where he showed me his Vaginal Davis as Madame Bricktop devotion with a clever tattoo of my macktruck mug on his leg. I just adore this new breed of young guns who are going for it, if I may quote the late George Michael of Wham.

I don't remember reading anything about the passing of Hollywood golden era star Gloria DeHaven in the summer. Ms. DeHaven was known for playing the sister to Judy Garland in Summer Stock(1950), June Haver I'll Get Bye(1950) June Allyson Two Girls and a Sailor(1944) and Glenn Ford The Doctor and the Girl(1949) in films during her heyday of the 1940s and 1950s. She also gave Frank Sinatra his first screen kiss in the 1944 musical Step Lively. Ms. DeHaven was a fantastic singer. I love her version of “An Occasional Man” from Girl Rush(1955) and “Down Among the Sheltering Palms” from the 1953 film of the same title and her French version of “I Can't Give You Anything But Love”

from So This is Paris (1954)

I worshipped at the alter of glamorous Zsa Zsa Gabor and her sister Eva Gabor who was on the 1960s TV show Green Acres and later was the beard of TV mogul Merv Griffin. I went to college with his son Tony Griffin. Yes Mincy Merv actually fathered a child.

Many probably don't know that one of Zsa Zsa's many husbands was debonair actor George Sanders from All About Eve, who committed suicide because he was bored. Zsa Zsa's last husband was the no account Count Fredrick von Anhalt who while his wife was on deaths doorknob was running around West Hollywood adopting sexy gay boys at his Starbucks office on Santa Monica Blvd and Robertson.

Still can't believe that Carrie Fisher and her mom Debbie Reynolds are dead. My favorite Debbie film was Mary, Mary (1962) from the play by Jean Kerr. I also liked her in Hit the Deck (1955) and Athena (1954) both co-starring one off her oldest girlfriends the underrated Jane Powell.

Carrie Fisher in the 1970s was a wild child who I hung out with at clubs like The Mirror-Go-Round, The Odyssey, The Other Side,Ginos 2 and The Sugar Shack. Carrie, Tracy Granger(daughter of Stewart Granger and Jean Simmons) and Elektra Anderson whose father owned the Beverly Hills Hotel were three Hollywood teen girls who lived like no others sexing and drugging in ways that make Lindsey Lohan seem like a tea toddler. That was just the rauckus spirit that made the 1970s so incredible. I'd better clap my trap as I am publically dating myself as a fossil of antiquity.

Had a nice time hanging out at the end of last year with baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras. If you havent purchased his latest album Home on Native Land you must do so NOW! You will go crazy for his songs “Counting Stars” “Log Drivers Waltz” “Twilight of the Season” and “Dark End of the Street” which is this centuries homo ballad “Strangers in the Night”. Mr. Gibb gets some ample support on the record with guest appearances by Neil Tennant of the Pet Shop Boys, Ron SexSmith,Rufus Wainwright, Feist and Mary Margaret Ohara.

Have to also mention that my old original gangster comrade in arms Alice Bag scored a hit debut solo album that has been also critically acclaimed as a modern classique. The self titled lp is on Don Giovanni Records and boasts some incredible songs like “Little Hypocrite” the Ronette style “He's So Sorry”, “Modern Day Virgin Sacrifice” and my fav “Incorporeal Life”.

aller Anfang ist schwer

With the recent death of pop mariquita George Michael I was reminded of when I use to hang out with Kathy Jeung who was Michaels beard in the 1980s. Kathy was a fashion stylist with the Cloutier Agency and also did a club in the MacArthur Park area of Los Angeles called Flaming Colossos with these two very sexy French boys who I think were brothers, whose names I forget. The Frenchies were extremely delicious. Later in the late 80s or early 90s they opened up a chic restaurant in West Hollywood on Santa Monica Blvd that was the “It” place for a New York Secunda. Kathy and the French Brothers were somewhat infatuated with me and Glen Meadmore for a spell, and one time I was in her entourage along with Mz. Michael at a birthday celebration at Mario Tomayo's restaurant Cha Cha Cha. I also was invited for pampering at the Beverly Hills Health and Fitness Spa in Koreatown on Beverly Blvd. Why the place has Beverly Hills in the title I don't understand as Korea Town is located nowhere near Bev Hills. The spa is on top of a natural hot spring. I had heard of the place for years as a celebrity haunt but of course being that I wasn't ever gainfully employed in those days I could never afford to go there, but after performing many times at Flaming Colossos for free, Kathy and the French Bros. took pity on me and treated me. I think Kathy was related to the owners or perhaps Michele Lamy paid for it. Michele could be extremely generous, but anyway I got the royal red carpt that particular day, and thats more then a ghetto freeloader like myself can ever expect. The spa is divided by the sexes and for some unexplicable reason I was able to pass as a boy, so I went to that section with the French Bros and Mz. Michael. It was divoon getting my first massage from a handsome and perfectly musculed Korean masseuse named Hans who had me floating on air. I also got a kiwi facial, but would have loved it if Hans had given me a facial with his man milk.

In the dry sauna I watched the pop Princepessa Gorgeous George boldly pick out a swarthy hairy chested hunk and just get down on his knees and begin servicing the studkin in front of everyone. He was completely fearless and shameless, and this was years before he publically came out. La Michael hardly said a word to me during the few times we were in each others company. He wasn't rude, he just was indifferent. He didn't find me attractive so I didn't serve any purpose. He was that matter-of-fact, and I was strangely not put out by it and didn't feel dissed. I just wasn't his type of queen and that was that.

Well getting back to the BJ. GM must have had a velvet mouth because it didn't take long after he was bobbing on the giant peter and tweeking the mans bullet nips that the sexy gorgon was about to ejaculate and GM very casually and efficiently gulped down the seminal emissions making sure that the man was sufficiently drained, he then got up and went into the cold water pool followed by the wet sauna. This place is not a gay bathhouse but a place frequented by very upscale gays and straights, but nobody seemed to mind the celebrity spectacle that was performed so publically.

Years later Lenny of the Parlour Club treated me to this spa for my birthday and I saw John Travolta cruising around the joint, but the men were running away from him.

Afterwards we all regrouped and went out to Helenas or Paillette or some other trendy nitespot of the moment, and GM never mentioned what he had done, and I don't believe I even talked about it either at the time, which is strange as I am the ultimate gossipeuse and junior walking billboard.

All thiss twiss reminds me of a a very sexually captivating boy I use to know from the early 1980s named Mardell Lombar. Mardell was a hilljack from Ohio, meaning he was a dirt poor white kid from the mountain country region. He was around 5'10'' tall with light brown wavy hair, lean musculurture that was a combination dancer/swimmer bod though he didn't do any of these things. He had greyish blue eyes and full pillow lips that looked like he was wearing lipstick, but he wasn't. He had the flattest stomach I have ever seen, and big calves and thighs that looked like he could pull a mack truck with. His feet were big, thick and peasanty like Barney Rubble but were perfectly formed and manly. He also had huge hands like a baseball mitt. The weird thing about him is that even though he was so goodlooking he didn't photograph well.

I met him at the teen disco The Odyssey on Beverly Blvd and LaCienega. He worked part-time at the cafe on 3^rd Street that was connected to the notorious gay bathhouse the 8709. He lived in the Hollywood Hills with a 60 year old man who worked in the entertainment industry who was slavishly in love with him,but pretty much left him to his own devices. All Mardell had to do was occasionally fuck the old dude, so it wasn't such a bad trade off. Mardell was such a good natured boy, not naïve but just wildly free spirited and free wheeling. Through Mardell I could get into the 8709 and other bathhouses for free. I loved going to this famous bathhouse as it had some of the most spectacular pieces of male flesh on display. I had never seen such gigantic penises before and the level of sex play was seismic. Bathhouses are dull today in comparison to the 8709 and MACS(Mens Action Center) which was on Hyperion Avenue in Silverlake. This was in the early 1980s, so I was glad I got to experience them before they were all closed by the LA Health Department. Mardell was what is known as "the worlds type" and loved that I was a big voyeur and he got a kick out of showing off for me. 8709 had an area that was filled with bunk beds and mattresses that was out in the open and he would pick a lucky boy and go to town on the guy and of course would attract a huge crowd of men who wanted to watch and touch him and his trick. Mardell let any and all grab a feel of him. Some got carried away and started to munch on his butt, legs and feet and also chow down on his peen as it would occasionally plop out of his bottom. These sessions would just turn into a natural free-for-all with everyone giving Mardell complete utter worship. Its common for good looking well built young men to be utter assholes, but not Mardell who was very generous with his body though he knew his worth on the open market. Mardell was also unpredictably wild and a bit perverse. I saw him fuck many an olde queen just for the heck of it. Mardell's penis was large, thick and bulbous with apricot sized testicals that would slap the ass of his paramours causing a richochet sound that would quake through the sauna.  The closest I ever came to being intimate with Mardell was when he sucked my nipples once as more of a joke, as I played with his  dinosaur dick.  Once he gave me a deep soul kiss that almost caused me to faint.  He was that sexually electric. 

After 8709 and the cafe attached closed Mardell left his sugar daddy and moved back to Ohio and wound up getting married to a woman of all things. He was a most excellent pen pal and wrote to me about the many madcap sexual misadventures with his wife and the hillbilly antics of his small hometown. The last time I heard from him was in 1994 when he sent me a letter with pictures of him with his twin boys. He was in his late 30s by then but still attractive and trim.

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The last Rising Stars, Falling Stars for the troubled year of 2016 at silent green KulturQuartier was a fantastical success. Everyone needed a good hearty belly laugh and the Four Marx Brothers Groucho, Chico, Harpo and the gay one Zeppo eagerly provided the gaity with the 1931pre-code film Monkey Business.

Our program was also an early celebration of Chanukah, so appropriately I sang an old Chanukah song in Aramaic with a little bit of yiddish thrown in. Strange how this ancient ditty sounded so similar to one of my own original Cholita the Female Menudo songs, “Chinga Tu Madre”

I also told the crowd that The Four Marx Bros are the younger siblings of Karl Marx, and that Marx and Frederic Engels were lovers. Caught up in the Marxian madrigal Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Markus Ruff, Clarisse Mehring, Stefan Ehrens and posse, Marcuse Siegelstein, Susanne Sachsse, Trixie Schonherr aka: Beatrice Curdua,the divine Miss Jutta, a Berlin native who lived for many years in Paris who is one lovely and fashionable fan of our film series, Brazilian filmmaker and style icon Melissa Dullius, Johanna Schaffer, a new Berliner and Austrian queer-feminist scholar who teaches theorie und praxis for der visuellen kommunikation at Kunsthochschule Kassel, with 
her American translator pal Rik Mayda, both also work with RSFS's Daniel Hendrickson, the Jewish Muslim as part of the NSU tribunal 
translation project. Check out the website at: nsu-tribunal.de for more info on this very important organization that is keeping check on structural racism in Germany,sexy young David Schoeler who is an art student at UdK who use to work at Arsenal who came with a bevvy of beautiful ladies, B.J. Novak the nebishy American TV star of The Office, handsome violin virtuoso Charlie Siem, Piero Bellomo and exotic film actor Riz Ahmed. Special shoutout to silent green staffers. Nadine&Linda, the Moos Restaurant kids, Katrin the guardian of the gate and expert Arsenal projectionist BoDo.

Die perlen der Cleopatra

Was at the Arsenal for the Frank Capra retrospektacle seeing his prophetic 1948 film State of the Union starring Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, an incredible Angela Lansbury only 22 but looking and acting 42, Margaret Hamilton (Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz)and Adolphe Menjou. Its the only film Capra did distributed by MGM and it used mainly Metro stock players. You got to give a film its due when it begins with a suicide.

After I left Kino Arsenal I noticed the S-bahn was strangely packed with people which is odd for a Monday night at 10:30pm. Everyone at this time of year has gone back home to mama&papa for the holidays.

Received a frantic text message from my assistant Julian Scherer from when I was a guest professor at Goethe Universitaet asking me if I was at the Xmas Market. Being outdoors drinking cheap sweet warm wine in the winter chill is not exactly aesthetically pleasing to me.

I also received several emails and international phone calls asking if I was ok. It wasn't until I got back to the flat and turned on the radio to NPR Berlin that I found out about the horror that had actually occurred at The Gedaechtnis Kirche.

Der Fisch stinkt vom Kopf her

Knapp daneben ist ach vorbei

Forgot to mention that when I was at Music & Frieden seeing The Hidden Cameras ran into my olde Tenderloin kolleg Felix Knoke the journalist with Der Spiegel Online, who is now the proud papa of a five month old bouncy baby boy named Carlo Ponti.

Felix sent me a link to the lovesexxxy video of Teutonic Tom aka: Tom Wuehr or Tom Wu the happy-go-lovely Hidden Cameras drummer. The video is very polymorpheously perverse and I think you will get a kick out of it, i sure did:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYquF68nrQk

Went to Arsenal for their salute to legendary film director Frank Capra. Was so glad to see the film Lady for a Day starring 75 year old Australian actress May Robson who was nominated for an Oscar for her performance. Ms. Robson's portrayal is so fragile and tender. Also saw the 1961 remake called Pocketfull of Miracles starring Bette Davis, Glenn Ford and Hope Lange. Its not very good except for Peter Falk and for being the movie debut of Ann-Margret.

Thanks to all the well wishers who sent me congrats for having the Whitney Museum of Art in New York City buy pieces from my latest solo show “Come on Daughter Save Me” that was at Invisible-Exports Gallery last year at this time. Now I am just waiting to hopefully get paid$. Seems like I am always waiting for moula. Well thats the state of the world these days. Beggarinos can't be choosey. Was just talking about poor relations in an email exchange recently with the great Justin Vivian Bond. My relatives in the States have been gentrified out of South Central Los Angeles because of reverse white flight back into the inner city. My nephew and his two children ages 11 and 15 live in Lancaster in the mountains above LA and my niece and her 5 kids live in the high desert. If I didnt send them money every month they would be destitute and join yet another array of homeless families on the city streets. My great nephew who is 15 is doing very well in school. He goes to a prep school in Lancaster and made the Dean's list. My older sister emugs me that he is just like I was in my teenage years a complete bookworm living at the library.

Nicht jede Kuh laesst sich melken

When I was giving Hollywood film reviews a few columns back I neglected to mention that the wonderous actress Jeannie Berlin is featured in Woody Allen's latest flicker Cafe Society. What a grossepoint oversight that was on my part. Ms. Berlin is the daughter of comedienne and film director Elaine May, and Jeannie starred in May's brilliant 1972 film The Heartbreak Kid along with Charles Grodin and Cybil Shephard. Another one of her 1970s films Sheila Levine is Dead and Living in New York directed by Sidney J. Furie is a hoot of the period. She took a long repreive from acting but I am glad to welcome her back on the big screen.

Also forgot to give my womanly take on the latest Meryl Streep film Florence Foster Jenkins about the New York society maven and klipklack soprano. I have never been a part of the Streep cult. The only thing of hers that I've ever liked was a PBS film version of Wendy Wasserstein's Uncommon Women & Others from the late 1970s. Her co-star Hugh Grant continues to play his greatest role as Divine Browns bewildered Sloan Ranger sex partner. The real breakthrough in this film is dweeby Simon Helberg who was one of my former students ages ago, and is really divoon here. Mr. Helberg is already the ensemble star of some longrunning TV situation comedy where his talents are wasted in dumb TVland shtick. In Jenkins his prissy mannerisms convey everything of a proper fagula of the 1940s—think Billy DeWolfe crossed with Taylor Mead with an expressive protean Wally Cox facecal.

Baby Diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras invited me to his latest concert at Music & Frieden in the Wrangle Kiez. He was debuting his brilliantine new album Home on Native Land which is of the Lonesome Dove style thematically. His band members were also appropriately dressed matching Mr. Gibb in his Nudie rodeo tailored goldenen suit. The Honky Tonk Bisquit Queen, My Darling Clementine, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon spirit was permeating the venue and the Berlin audience a notoriously tough crowd were sighing and swooning to Gibbs Cimarron paced shit kicking hoedown.

Mr. Gibb was in fine voice,looking high wide and handsome in the matinee idol spotlight. I was very impressed with his banjo player a new arrival to Berlin from Nashville, and his high holy drummer Teutonic Tomas who is the most talented dynamic skin pounder on the seven planets with a radiant personality, a mighty sweet smelling bubble buttkiss, powerful muscles throbbing from his fingertips down to those sexy feet and twinkle toes.

Erst kommt das fressen, dann die moral

My darlings,

Was invited to the fabelshaft table of La Susanne Sachssee for one of her early winter feasts of the Magi. This one being in honor of sexy and ultra sophisticated Shai Heredia the filmmaker and festival director of the highly lauded Experimenta Festival of Bangalore. The gorgeous Ms. Heredia was in Berlin with her handsome ultra cool and sleek partner of the silky voice, the electronic musician Yashas Shetty. Also in attendance Daniel Hendrickson the Jewish Muzlim warrior translator to the shtars, Max Brauer the cute and cuddly Andy Kaufmanesque darsteller and bon vivant who will host his own eclectic evening at the Volksbuhner's Roter Salon, and everyone's rad party favourite Bruce“Judy”LaBruce who was in good form spilling all the proverbial “T” thats way too fart for the faint of heart. I love me some Canadian farmgirl lil Judy LaBruce.Yowza!

The next evening it was the return of CHEAP Funk on Reboot FM the radio program hosted by the amazing Diana McCarty. Joining CHEAP was Yashas Shetty as special guest who weaved his mercurial electronic musical magic live on the air. The night turned all non-sequitur with discussions and readings from and about Werner Schroeter via Susi Sachsse from Schroeter's nachruf fuer Maria Callas plus the dying diva propentittaly of Dalida,John Cage,Glen Meadmore and Kembra Phahler and her Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black album Black Date. And if that wasn't enough there was vissi d'arte and moi je vais mourir sur sce'ne.

I've been getting lots of email requests asking for more about the CHEAP PianoBar in Prague. Well below is the formal description of the piece we did as part of the Mezipatra Queer Film Festival.

Piano Bars are mainstays of gay and lesbian culture, historical places of musical refuge from a hostile outside world. They are like regular queer bars, but with an added bonus for the show-tunes-inclined among us: the chance to sing along to and distort popular songs with lovers, friends and intimate strangers all gathered together around the piano. CHEAP will distort not only songs, but the piano and the piano bar atmosphere itself, in this one night only performance and installation on the staircase in the smoker's area of the festival cafe. Come hang out with us. Drown your sorrows about queer culture in a glass of whiskey while humming along. Maybe we'll even play something you like. Probably not, but who cares, as long as we're kind of together. CHEAP art collective from Berlin has been making queer performances, installations, music, clubs, festivals, parties, videos and stuff for the past fifteen years. CHEAP Piano Bar will feature Vaginal Davis, Daniel Hendrickson, Susanne Sachsse and Marc Siegel.

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Those of you who are internationalists please rush to support Lia Gangitano the woman Suprema of Magical Arts and Sciences and founder of Participant Inc. Gallery the only not-for-profit art space left in New York City. We need Lia and what she brings to culture now more then ever as an antidote to the Gulag mentality that is sweeping the world and has now fully enveloped AmeriKKKa. Of course we always knew what was lurking in the stage door Johnny wings in goddessa foresaken US of A didn't we?

Friends,

This time last year, we felt grateful.

This year, it’s harder.

PARTICIPANT’s value system is modeled on another time, past or future – it’s hard to tell. Our new-ness is haunted by prior activisms, and necessitates longtime political imperatives to seek out new tools to create – and make claims to describe – alternative worlds.

To move forward with determination and urgency, we seek to redefine our gratitude.

We need survival tools.

Your commitment is meaningful.
Click Here to Donate

Looking forward to: of poetry / John Willie / Matt Keegan / Baseera Khan / Dash Snow / Pauline Boudry and Renate Lorenz / Glendalys Medina / Damien Echols and Jen DeNike / G.B. Jones and Paul P. / Narcissister / Lyle Ashton Harris

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Was able to spend a little girl-on-girl time with one of my oldest lady friends and collaborateurs the Mad Ms. Glen Meadmore. She was in Germany for two surprise shows in Liepzig and Berlin where she wowed the Burlesque frantic audience with her cowpunk antics at White Trash.

I love and adore this woman who at 6'8'' in her stalking feet is even taller then little womanly me who is miniscule at 6'6''. Ms. Meadmore's dayjob in LA is the limo driver to all the Hollywood Stars who love her and request her as their number one companion and driver of choice.

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Had a nice reunion recently with rocker dude Rasp Thorne. Mr. Thorne is an American musician who is now a British citizen and just moved to Berlin a few weeks ago. Before that he was living in London and was married to the famed Jewess Tatooess Marisa Karnisky.

That Canuckian wonder of big titty hasculinity Baby Diaper Joel Gibb and his band The Hidden Cameras will perform Wednesday Dec 7^th at 8pm at Music&Frieden in Berlin at: Falckensteiner Strasse 48

10997 in support of their new LP Home on Native Land. The big peniled Mr. Gibb is embracing his Home on the Range roots. I heard a preview of this material in the summer along with Alice Bag and its indeed impressive. Go to www.hiddencameras.com for more information.

Alles hat ein Ende nur die Wurst hat zwei

So sorry I have not kept up with the latest moving pictures coming out of LaDeeDaahland, but the Autumn is always my busiest season so I havent had time to go to many of the free screenings provided to me. Here is my truncated report on the films I did see:  Arrival starring dull Amy Adams, duller Jeremy ”Prone to Nuclear Mudslides” Renner and a lethargic Forrest Whittaker. I sure would like to get with one off those Heptapods and their tree trunk eggplants. Imagine exxxtraterrestrials who write in fancy Butcher Holler style caligraphy and speak with a Hippo, dub progressive house accent.

The Harry Potter franchise has gotten a wee bit more interesting with their new series Strange Beauties and Fickle Admirers which features a troubled queer teen played by lovely Ezra Miller whose tight little booty hole keeps getting teased and fingered by power top Colin Farrell. Manipulative Alpha Mr. Farrell, just wont plow the lovesick puppy which causes him to go homo-cidal deathrock. The main storyline featuring lesbianic cutiepie Eddie Redmayne is less interesting, but I sure got pleasure out of seeing actress Samantha Morton. Just wish they gave her more to do.

Woody Allen's Cafe Society starring pigeon chested hunchback beauty Jesse Eisenberg, and saaphic hotsy totsy Kirsten Stewart almost does a pop goes the weazel. Next time take young precious Mr. Eisenberg and plop him in the lead of an adaptation of Bud Schulberg's What Makes Sammy Run?

Got a chance to see my beautiful child of high art, the gifted and talented New York based artiste Jonathan Berger who was traveling through Europa with his wonderful parents.  Red hot Jons treated Fearless Leader of CHEAP Susanne Sachsse and I to a brilliant luncheon at Mokkabar in the Bergman Kiez of Kreuzberg. 

One of my dearest girlfriends, the insanely divine musical genius Glen Meadmore is doing some surprise shows in Germany. Thursday December 1st he will be in Leipzig at the Felsen Keller and Friday at White Trash in Berlin. You know what to do.

Also on Thursday there is a record release party at Monster Ronsons 7-11pm for the late Brian Tennessee Claflin of Pork fame and Snax. The EP consists of several tracks they recorded together. Baby Brian's musical persona was known as Prix. Its a hand painted limited edition release by curmudeony Slovakian designer Mario Drzilla. Bruce “Judy” La Bruce and novelist Travis Jeppesen will be some of the celebrity guest DJ's.

I didnt grow up celebrating Christmas, that Christian adopted Pagan holiday thats only purpose is to propel danger capitalism, but a lot of my fans enjoy sending me presents during the holidays and I love accepting them. I adore books, so feel free to send me any and all you come across. On my wish list is Party of the Century by Deborah Davis about Truman Capote's Black and White Masked Ball at the Plaza Hotel in 1966. With my LA hotspot Bricktops at the ParlourClub I did a riff off of The Black&White Masked Ball for New Year's Eve 2003 that was quite a major success featuring performances by Brian Grillo and his Grillo Follies with special guest star Mink Stole, the John Waters legend. The tribal media loons have started camping out in front of the CHEAP offices thinking its where I live.  Some American website trying to create a fake scandal wrote about my relationship with movie director Brett Ratner. Of coure this was years ago when he was just a nebishy Jewish horndog sniffing about my panties at Club Sucker at the Garage my Sunday afternoon punk rock beer bust/performance salaon.  It seems that Brett's business partner a rich Australian dude named James Packer is somehow connected to the new Trump administration.  Where i figure into it i have no ideal.  One thing i can say is that I predict the VP Elect Mike Pense will have Trump assassinated so that he can get all the power.  Mr. Pense is more evil then Dick Chaney.  Mark my words. Remember Vaginal Davis in Swahili means she who cannot lie and is always right.

Ideen Visualisieren

Before jetting of on Swiss Air to Zurich Switzerland to teach a series of Performance Art Workshops under the banner Framing The Freakazoid: Doing-By-Doing at the ZhdK – The Zurich University of the Arts I went to the fabelshaft birthday dinner party of decorative artist Michael Dute the Konig von Wilmersdorf with Fearless Leader of CHEAP Susi Su, Marcuse Siegelstein and Bruce”Judy”LaBruce. The liquor and food was forever flowing and the atmosphere divoon. Herr Dute divides his time between San Francisco and Berlin and his glorious flat is a testicular testament to his skills as an artiste extroidinaire. Walking through his exalted threshold you enter the majick of ancient China, Pompeii or eighteenth-century France. The apartment is a joy to behold with luscious murals and glam rococo-inspired wall panels. Michael's home also serves as a Gertrude Stein style salon to some of the most fascinating habitues of Berlin high society. I was enthralled with his lovesexy and sophisticated lady friends and dapper gentlemen callers. Scene and heard: DL Alvarez who is the old San Francisco buddy of Michael Dute', Brian McBride(Michael's boyfriend) Marc, Michael's friend and flat mate, Christoph a famed historian, Ida Mullerr the famed set & costume designer and performer, Jens the charming old school tante from Braunschweig who lives in Michael's building and works at Mr. B., Marta the LA born Berlin based artist who comes from Mexican film producing royalty and studied at Art Center with Buckminster Fuller and a the famed Hashish Baeckerin to the shtars known for her excellent psychedlic cakes and brownies.

Joining me in Switzerland was the Love Camel Andrea Novarin. I had taught several times before in the 1990s and early 2000s at the ZhdK. Of course then it was at a different location and under a different name. The school merged in 2008 or so with the School of Art and Design and the School of Music Drama and Dance, and is affiliated with the Museum of Design. Rosina Kuhn the famous portraiturist whose son Cyril Kuhn was one of my students when I tag team taught at California Institute of the Arts with Ron Athey had first brought me to the school when I was doing some gigs in Milano, Turin and Bologna in the mid 1990s. Its during this time I first met Love Camel. Another one of my former students from Cal Arts Bea Schlingelhoff who is now in charge of the art program at ZhdK, and would like me to come back next year and teach a performance art seminar. On this trip I was invited by dimunitive British scholar Ian Rodney Wooldridge who was fascilitating an MA Symposium that I took part in. Also invited was the Canuckian artist Steve Reinke, the beautiful young Brit James Richards who lives in Berlin, and reminds me of Mike Skinner of The Streets, the gorgeous soft spoken Tibisi artist Ramaya Tegegne, Paul Pieroni, Brigitte Daetwyler, and Hannah Black. I was shocked and surprised that there were so many people at my artist talk. Lots of cute young kids came up to me to ask questions during the wine reception after the talk. One 20 year old boy a juicy mulatto mix of Dominican and Austrian had a spectacular mane of light brown curly hair.

Love Camel and I were housed at the Rothaus Hotel a former bordello in the red light district. Its surprising that there is still a funky area in such a boutique city as Zurich. Back in 2007 when CHEAP Blacky played at the Gessner Allee Theatre we stayed at the Rothaus. The wonderful secretaire of the MA department Miss Claudia remembered me when Rosina Kuhn had brought me to the school back in the 90s. The tech director of the department was a hunky American fellow named Philip Matesic exuding dinosaur dicque energy and looked like a younger, more muscular version of the writer James Fry.

I was taken to a fab dinner of traditional Swiss food at the atmospheric Alpenrose boite. Ian, Steve and some of my male students were all going to an underwear party at some gay bar, but I was way too exhausted to join them.

Verrueckt Nach Fixi

When Orange is the New Black Fuck Island of Mann announced his run for office last year I think I was the only persona in Christendom who took him seriously. I was the first to say that I don't think he really wants to be President because there is too much actual work involved. Even the laziest of Presidents like horny hedonist Jack Kennedy, once they are in office wind up working their tailfeathers to the bone,and aging accordingly.

Everyones uncle mothers druther laughed and dismissed my queenly opinion that Mr. Orange Ruffy actually stood a good chance of winning the election. I hope I am proven wrong but don't forget who was it that predicted in this very blogina the financial crisis of 2008.

I appologize for neglecting my readers but the Fall Season is always my most active. CHEAP kollektiv along with fearless leader Susanane Sachsse, Marcuse Siegelstein and Daniel Nancy Hendrickson triumphed in Prague with the CHEAP Piano Bar performative installation at the Lucerne Theatre for the Mezipatra QFF. This year's Queer Festival theme was The Limits of Liberty.

Bringing the American concept of the piano bar to Prague was no easy feat, but with the exceptionally generous sponsorship of the

Goethe Institut Praha we accomplished the impossible. The centerpiece of the installation being the fractured placement of a baby grand piano on a staircase. The CHEAPy's served their own cocktails that referenced the Czech Film New Wave, gave out chem sex Anti-Marriage narcotics to the adventurous and even managed to subvert the eastern european nations radiant youth who wound up leaving a fancy dress ball dance recital to partake in the sexual shenanigans and anarchy instigated by CHEAP with help from Ethel Waters, The Carter Family, Phoebe Snow and the Liza Minnelli diet.

Special thankx to Bruce “Judy” LaBruce as our very special tired old queen celebrity guest. Judy was in top form in Prague looking fit and trim and inspiring all the childrens heads with Judyline witticisms as only she can. Judy was the Jury president of the festival and being the party negro that she is was also Djaning at the Off Limits soiree at the Chemistry Gallery. As a special event the festival had a sold out screening of Hustler White celebrating the films 20 year anniversary.

Lots of attractive young people were at the opening night festivities that included a screening of the Austrian film Tom Cat which won the Teddy Award at the Berlinale this year. I found the acting by the feline leads Moises and Katherina thrilling and highly emotive. And I am not exactly a big fan of cats. I guess the moral of the film is that if you are a bougie white couple experiencing male pattern lesbian domesticity don't kill your lovers kitty.

Special thanx to handsome and patrician Jakob Racek of the Goethe Institut Praha who really understands the madness that is CHEAP, and Jakob's wonderful colleagues Isabel and Monika.

Jakob recommended an incredible restaurant called Lokal which had the most exquisite Czech food. Lokal was not far from the Park Hotel where we were housed,

Another shoutout to Pavel Bicek the lovesexxy artistic director of the film festival and his glorious staff of tireless professionals who gave their all to the piano bar. Kissy kisses to Kristyna Henovsova of OffProgram/Off Mezipatra, Jiri, Martin and our ninja security detail headed by Frantz, make-up artistes Jan Janout, Simona Sebikova' who made Susanne and I look like living dreamas, Veronika Koty Kova' who styled my wig in a dramatic Betty Page Pachuca coif.

Received several emugs from people who attended the 4 hour endurance installation of the CHEAP Piano Bar who wanted to know about the insane films that we screened during the evening.The anti-marriage PSA's were made by our very own Fearless Leader Susanne Sachsse, we also showed Hans Scheirl and Ursula Puerrer's Super 8 Girl Games, Pierre Yves Clouin's Cul en l'air, Alicija Zebrowska's The Mystery is Looking, Buddy Cole's Gay Marriage Clip featuring a cameo by Bruce “Judy”LaBruce from Kids in the Hall, “Taking a Chance on Love” number from the 1943 all-black Cabin in the Sky film by Vincente Minnelli and the CHEAPy Underground Uber Alles Award went to the late Vera Chytilova'.

Before going to Prague to do CHEAP Piano Bar I was invited to Hochschule fuer Gestaltung Offenbach Fachbereich Kunst to lecture and give a workshop. Over 300 people crammed into a tiny lecture hall to hear my talk which really surprised me. The wonderful Juliane Rebentisch had been wanting to bring me to Offenbach for some time and it finally worked out. A student group that Juliane is advisor to pulled out all the stops in making me feel very welcome on campus and the students in my workshop scored major homeruns in inventiveness and focus. Special thankx to Arootin Mirzakhani, Anne Graefe and Brenda Lien for making my time in Offenbach so rewarding and fun.

I made a special appearance at the great Hannah Hurtzigs Mobile Academy/Black Market Event at Hamburg's Kampnagel as well. Hannah is one of Germany's hardest working curators and an art innovator par excellance. I first met Hannah back in 2001 in Berlin when she was at the Volksbuhner and I did my piece Sucking Her UnBorn Cock as part of the Rich and Famous Festival at Prater. From the moment I met Hannah I loved her spirit, humour and style.

I've been a special guest at the Mobile Academy at least four times and its always a wonderful experience because like me Hannah is all about the details.

Juicy kissolas to Hannah and her Blk Market Staff of Kyra, Lea, Sarah Lewis of the famous Lewis clan and my handsome film student assistant Maxmillian who was perfect in every way.

***

Wanted desperately before the election results to tell you what it was like being in Washington DC on the Elmer Occasion of being invited as a keynote presenter at the Creative Time Summit Occupy the Future.

After last year's New York triumph of The Magic Flute and my solo art exhibition Come on Daughter Save Me at Invisible-Exports Gallery I experienced a bonafide New York moment with accolades in the press-New York Times, New Yorker Magazine, Art Forum etc. I remember a time when back in LA in the 1980s the Los Angeles Times would only refer to me as V. Davis if I was mentioned at all. It wasn't until I received my first press in the NY Times in the early 1990s concerning my zine Fertile LaToyah Jackson and the zine movement itself which became this phenomena that the mainstream media decided to run with as a so called predicted “next big thing”

Then the lovely Hilton Als wrote a sweet review and profile off me in the New Yorker in 1991 after I did a packed spoken word reading at the old Different Light Bookstore in Greenich Village. Getting so much press in NYC and in Europe at that time my own daily newspaper the LA Times couldn't ignore me anymore and started to print my full name of Vaginal Davis. So I am use to the follow the leader mentality.

After last years success with my the CHEAP kollektiv version of The Magic Flute I was barraged with invites to perform and also calls from tired Hollywood TV and movie people. I had never heard of Creative Time before, so when their creative director Nato Thompson contacted me I asked my former student Jonathan Berger who is a child of New York high art about Creative Time and he gave me the A-OK. I've always been suspicious of institutions and those who work for them. People from good families always wind up in these gatekeeper positions. None of us pure folk ever get to sit at these tables.

Which reminds me when I went to the poovah prep school Choate on scholarship, it was my first encounter with the immaculate children of WASP wealth. Getting to know the kids from the great families of the East I was surprised at how forlorn and unloved they were. Talk about family damage. It softened my disdain somewhat of the rich as I realized being a welfare child, I was much better off then most of them were. No one expected anything from me, so being an overachiever in the gifted program in the LA Unified School District led to my going to a fancy prep school with elites and also being the first one in my family at University. Even though I am still poor, and still live hand-to-mouth, at least I don't have to work a day job as a wage slave, and I get invited to art festivals all over the world where I am fussed over and pampered. This ghetto child has certainly come a long way.

Arriving at Dulles Airport on an unseasonably warm Autumn afternoon the lovely Creative Time intern Thandowethu Miambo, a recent Barnard graduate from Africa was there to whisk this little lady D to her spacious suite at the Hilton Homewood in the city center just blocks away from the White House. For a mansion the White House is surprisingly tiny.

Pretty and stylish Thando took me to the opening nite celebration and kick off party at Blind Whino which reminded me of the Womens Building in the Mission District of San Francisco where I performed in the 90s at the Dirty Bird Festival.

After getting off of a long planeride I am always starving, and gorgeous summit coordinator Teal Baskerville treated me to a sumpteous meal courtesy of a Food Truck parked outside the soiree grounds.

Grub down my gullet, white wine and a cornucopia of man candy of all shapes, sizes and ethnicities put a Jack Pumpkinhead grin on my giantessa face.

The olde hairy eyeball was popping in the car ride to the party getting to sit next to hot and lovesexy Henry Arteaga of the JKE Crew Peligrosos of Medellin,Columbia and his very beautiful, sweet translator Vanessa Cuervo. I sure would love to haunt Henry's HipHop School. Shaking his muscular hand reminded me of my That Fertile Feelings co-star Johnny Dark another Columbian tiny in stature but muscular with a huge penis filled with delicious leche fresca.

Entertainment at the party was provided by Michelle Blackwell and the GoGo Allstars. Was sweet to see all the children including the juicy Creative Time interns Karin Shankar, Jonathan Gardenshire and Alice Ecceles enjoying themselves on the dancefloor.

Didn't want to be a party pooper scooper but I needed to get back to my hotel room and wait for Hector Martinez the Swedish Mexican Insurance executive to arrive. So sweet of Hector to take time from his busy schedulina to come and help me at the summit. I also needed to try and get some sleep so that I'd be somewhat fresh for the first day of festivities.

Woke up at 4am mega jet lagged. Little later went down to the complimentary breakfast with Hector. The food was actually pretty good as most American places have crappy free breakfasts unlike the excellent ones that are standard in Europa. The only bad thing was the coffee that tasted like a brown melted crayon in hot water. So wonderous catching up on all the Silverlake 40 gossip with Hector. It felt good having Hector here as my backup singer and personal Ninja bodyguard. Hector was in the Marinecore during his youth so he can kill with his bare hands. Lovely English Rose Lady Alice came to fetch this Dollybird at 7:45am. Lady Alice is a recent Yale grad, very stylish and Sloan Rangery. My performance wouldn't be till Saturday but I came to the theatre a day early so that I could do a soundcheck at the Lincoln Theatre where the summit would take place. The Lincoln is a historic TOBA(Tough on Black Asses) vaudeville circuit theatre built in 1922 in the olde Negro Quartier which is now a gentrified area of the city. Everything was crazed for the first day so I didn't get a chance to sound check or do a run through. Met Nato Thompson who is a cute, dimunitive man with a Sponge Bob Square Pants accent that I found very sweet and charming. He comes from activist circles I gather, and seems quite sincere and excitable. On stage he mentioned he was married with a child, but I think he has a little sugar in his tank. I also met Katie Hollander the patrician Executive Director of Creative Time and Sally Szwed the no nonsense summit director. The stage set was created by the Floating Lab Collective, and I was delighted that it would match my Rick Owens couture Etruscan gown and shoes.

Section One of the first day was under the theme of Occupy Power.

The first keynote speaker was supposed to be Haneen Zoabi the Palestinian politician who made history in 2009 when she became the first Arab woman to be elected to Israel's parliament the Knesset. Ms. Zoabi couldn't make it so she sent an enchanting young Palestinian woman Layla Ashayear to read a statement for her. It was a nice way to begin the summit and change the status quo narrative.

Jonas Staal was supposed to give a talk and a workshop at the summit, but was denied a visa to the USA because of his work with Syrian Kurds. Peter Svarzbein, the attractive pepperpot Jewish/ Latino artist, curator and media disrupter was the standout in the Occupy Power section with his presentation on the El Paso Transnational Trolley Project. Mr. Svarzbein warmed my heart because he put his penis were his mouth is and ran for city counsel and won, receiving a 97 million state grant for an intra city trolley route using the original street cars than ran between El Paso and Juarez.

The British art collective Liberate Tate presented how they managed to divest the museum from receiving corporate funding through the evil British Pertroleum Corporation.

Journal Rappe two Senegal rappers who created a news program done entirely in rap verse. After watching the dullard news programs on American TV in my hotel room, switching to a rap format would be a welcome relief.

There was also a report from Syria by Radio Souriali, but the jet lag started rearing its fugly head and my notes came out a jumbled mess. I picked up some examples of digestable satire from The Great Tortilla Conspiracy to bring home as presents. My Rick Owens gown needed some repairing that Hector helped take care of for me thank god, and he treated me to a wonderful luncheon at Mulebone a healthy soul food boite that reminded me of a more upscale version of LA's Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. Loved the décor of murals depicting Black Renaissance writer Zora Neal Hurston whose image I used on the text of my presentation. Hector and I went back to the hotel to take a disco nap for the remaining part of the summit but because of our jet lag we didn't wake up till everything was over which was just as well as I needed to concentrate on being ready for my performance which was bright and early the next day as part of the Queer and Now Section.

I still didn't get a proper soundcheck, and was thrown off a bit when the tech people bungled my soundscape but it didn't matter so much as my visual details were strong and I looked good on stage. I felt a little unsure about being my sections fascilitator but it actually turned out really well as the questions I asked were more playful in nature as I didn't feel like making direct comments on their presentation as that would be too reductive. I had never heard of artist Andrea Bowers who has lived in Los Angeles since 1990 originally from Ohio. She is quite beautiful and we are of the same generation so we got along like old girlfriends. Ryan Hammond is a youthful artist whose work explores the interplay between culture and biology and is very personable. Sheldon Scott is an engaging local Washingtonian who reminded me of a young Brian Freeman of Afro Pomo Homo.

Patricia Ariza the co-founder and director of Teatro La Candelaria and of Corporacion Columbiana de Teatro is the pure embodiment of the Cholita song Essays de la Mujer. She gave a rousing manifesto presentation that had the audience in complete solidarity with her.

I was so happy to be finished so that I could see the rest of the program. Undressing made me miss the Report From Ukraine by Anna Hutsol (Femen). But I did catch the hilarious Janani Balasubramanian who is a cute energetic socio pathic scientist dealing in quantum physics under the helm of The Case of Nonsens

The summit was celebrating the 100 year anniversary of DaDa and so the Austrian kollektiv Gelitin were just beyond perfect singing nonsense Gregorian chants wearing stunning Leigh Boweryesque costumes with a film of the kollektiv members plowing their own ceramic sculptures with their big dicque thickeruses. The audience didn't exactly know how to process Gelitin, I think that some were disturbed by it but in a good way and those who got it really got it! It was nice having some people from my own weird scene representing in DC. This was only my second time in the state capital, and I love the city and its very attractive denizens.

It was great meeting in person Kenneth Tin-Kin Hung who is simply gorgeous. He could be a movie star with his handsome face and muscular, fit body. I would love to give him a tongue bath. Kenneth has even collaborated with CHEAP Kollektiv on some early CHEAP projects like Global Capitalism at the opening of HAU as a new theatre institution. Kenneth came to the attention of CHEAP through the Blue Bros Tim & kJohnny. When kJohnny lived in New York he worked quite often with the amazing Mr. Hung who I am sure is the living embodiment of his name. His presentation at the summit called Shit Wars was pure ribald genius.

The highlight of Day Two for me had to be Melissa Mays Report From Flint Michigan(Water You Fighting For). Melissa reminded me of my mother who in the late 60s when we lived in South Central LA started the first urban gardens by taking over all these vacant lots and planting fruit and vegetables to feed the poor people in our neighborhood. Direct action with no frills thats what I find the most engaging way of being an activist.

I also loved Thomas Frank and the legendary Carrie Mae Weems who were playfully combative during the Troubled Democracy section. Ms. Weems wasn't featuring the tech peoples gaffes.

Hector and I went to the Corcoran Gallery for the closing night party and had a really nice time chittle chatting, but since I remained jet lagged during the entire time I was in DC I was glad to get back to the hotel room and the comfort of my large bed.

The Creative Time Summit is a lovely art and political congress. A lot of work went into producing it and the results were splendid. In the future I think they should let some presentations be a little bit longer like an hour for keynote and 20 minutes for the mini talks. And time for proper sound checks and or rehearsals need to be allocated. It would be difficult under the current structure, but I think they should strive to find a way to make that happen. Well thats my 22cents.