MAMBO ITALIANO
Italy is problematic. With their neo fascist leader shacking up with teenagers, rampant sexism and corruption lets just say its not one of my favorite nations to visit. So being invited by Ron Athey to perform in his new piece The History of Ecstasy as part of the Napoli Teatro Festival at the only contemporary art museum of Naples The Museo Madre de Donna Regina was rife with hesitation. First of all Italians are notorious last minute queens. The Museum didn´t give us our confirmation numbers for our flights till the day we were leaving. The performance was a return to Daddy Athey´s big productions like 4 Scenes in a Harsh Life and Deliverance of the 1990s when he traveled Europa with the Ron Athey Company. It was exciting being reunited with Athey Company members, the vivacious modern dancer Julie Tolentino and Pigpen, both ladies i love dearly and are magical to watch on stage. Ron commissioned an incredible musical score from young Greek beauty Othon Mataragas who along with counter tenor diva Ernesto Tomasini of Palermo provided the spacious sound design. The other performers from the UK were Lee Adams and sexologist Mouse aka: Amanda Hull, who has to be one of the horniest, yet sweetest ladies I have ever met short of the legendary New York City sextress Patty Powers.
My role in the piece was as a black Madonna lactating and annointing. The performance went well. The set was designed by a German architect named Alex, and was quite beautiful. One of the most famous critics in Italy walked out during the orific fountaining sequence by Mouse, but he still gave the show a rave review. Only in Italy kids!
I hope to never return to grifty, dodgy Naples. The city is beautiful, and the food scrumpteous. I had the best pizza I have ever eaten at the famed Sorbillo restaurante. The lodging at the Bella Arte Resort was plush, though one hideous gay creature on the staff was beyond rude. I had a much better stay on my day off at the small family run inn Hotel Europeo.
Now for the dirt that you my dear readers love to read from la Vagimule. I was not having the curatorial team of Eugenio Viola and Adriana Rispoli. Eugenio´s lover the fashion designer Sam of Rosario Farina clothing line was very sweet, and got us some nice make-up people to take care of that aspect of the performance, but Sr Viola made German curator Heiko Pfost seem like an angel in comparison. I´ve never met such a priss. His tag team partner Dona Rispoli, is gorgeous. She reminded me of 1950s ingenue Pier Angeli. I found her to be brittle and cold beyond belief. Warning to all artists invited to Naples. Beware of Eugenio Viola and Adriana Rispoli, the worst curators I have ever encountered.
***
Another wild sex story from one of my LA pals. See it as a cautionary tale to unabashed horndoggedness:

So I shared with u my story about my fuckbud in the hills with the big uncut
dick. Well, he has been hellbent on watching me get sucked off by someone. We
were not successful on our last attempt.
So I get a call from him and he explains how we have to meet. I agree to stop
by his place for a treat. So he explains to me in detail the kid who will be
sucking me off. The kid apparently has a mouth from the deepest corners of oral
exstacy and a body to match. The boys ass is legendary. But there is a BUT! He
is as the Doll would say, Fugly... I say ok, I am open, I have a soft spot for
ugly people. So at 10pm promptly the kid arrives, with a big smile and clothes
that showcase his great 22yr old frame. He's about 6ft, 160 or so, so very lean
and a smoking hot ass. He looks Latin from some island. He shakes my hand and
I look at him in the eyes, and Ms Davis I thought I was looking at the devil.
My friend looks at me and smiles. The boy goes into the restroom and comes out
naked. The body belongs in some sort of art work and the more I looked at his
face the more detail I noticed in his look the more frightening he looks.
Steve starts to undress me and I go along, he is also quickly undressed. I am
seated in a comfy chair and the kid kneels down and start licking my crotch and
then sucking.
I am looking at him intensly as he is sucking my nasty chorizo, Steve is
stroking his big monster as he watches. But in my mind I am thinking that the
devil is sucking me off and that he's going to bite off my dick!
As he got more and more caught up with his sucking his face was turning dark
red, his nostrils were flaring and the veins on his forehead were popping out
and my friend holds me cause he said I looked like I was going pale! I wasn't
sure what I was thinking, steve shoves a bottle of Poppers in my face, I've
never done that stuff nor did I know what to do with it. He covers one of my
nostrils tells me to breathe and I take my first ever hit of stinky poppers and
I feel that sensation and now the kid looks like a cross between the devil and a
gorrilla.
I get my bearings after the first hit, the kid takes a hit and then I take
another. Well, he sucked on me for about an hour, I didn't want any of the popper
stuff, I felt out of control, u know I always have to be in control. So I am
ready to explode and the boy is ready. He wants it in his mouth, face and
enjoys it in his eyes! Apparently that is the new thing for fags, cum in ur
eyes.
I am so glad I am old and not young going through all this crazy shit. What
happened to a good old fashion bj.
Fechesita I let out the biggest gush of cum ever! I felt light headed and
thought maybe I was going to puke. My friend also shoots off a big load on the
kids face and also hits his right eye.
I was done, I thought that was the gift Lestat was waiting for. The boy gets
up, runs off to the restroom and cleans up. I see the kid grab an envelope and
he splits. So the kid was an arrangement my friend put together. One of his
daddys rich buddys introduced this wicked looking young boy to my friend for his
oral skills and the frightening look he has.
So now I think I've seen it all. I needed food and food had already been
planned and was plenty after that ordeal.
I have asked about taking pics of him, I don't have the reply yet. We shall
see. So there u have it.

DAUMEN IM WIND
The Baby Diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras is back in Berlin after six weeks working on a new album in Toronto. Had a spirited brunch with Mr. Gibb, his super hot beau Enrico and Laila, the sweet, pretty Iranian academe from Montreal´s McGill University who came through town for a few days before heading off to the middle east where she will be traveling for several months. Laila brought me out to McGill in 2007 for a wonderful visiting artist gig.
***
Had breakfast Sunday with Ron Athey and his lovely Argentine husband Alfredo. Ron isn´t returning to Los Angeles. He will be living in London with Alfredo as an expat, and going through a Phd program. Congrats to Papa Athey on his new life in merry old Queen Lizland. Ron is directing me in this piece called Daddy that premieres June 17th at HAU 3, but before that we both go to Naples for the performance event A History of Ecstasy at the Museo Madre, Contemporary Art Museum of Donna Regina on June 6th.
***
Later Sunday Charity Hope Valentine, one of my favorite Bricktop girls and her gorgeous eurasian lover Tashi came by my studio The Cheese Endique Trifecta. I haven´t seen Charity since 2004 when she moved from LA to go to school in San Francisco. Her boyfriend is half Japanese and Belgium, completely stunning looking with dark hair, soulful eyes and a masculine ardour that is a bit bewitching. I also loved his soft spoken manner, he is a perfect, young patrician gentleman. And i am so jealous that Charity has robbed the proverbial cradle, going out with a much younger man----GET IT GIRL!!!!!!
We never talked about her ex-husband Andrew Gould, who was my partner with Bricktops, though while Ms. Charity was in the bathroom Tashi did mention to me that Andrew´s dull long term companion Lenny Young actually took my advice, and is working on a movie about his Gypsy background. Lenny was always infuriated when i would tell him that the only thing interesting about him was that he was a Gypsy.
I miss Andrew Gould, he will always have a piece of my black golden retreiver heart

NUIT ET BROUILLARD
Rising Stars Falling Stars was brilliantine on Saturday evening at Arsenal Institute für Film und Videokunst. Canadian silent screen actress, producer/director and animal trainer Nell Shipman is really a feminist icon to be reckoned with. She is probably the only moviemaker to feature a dog having a flashback. Back to God´s Country 1919 was a tour de force. The flick was made even more enjoyable by the piano accompaniment of Ms. Eunice Martin who just came back to Berlin from China.
A vast array of visiting dignitaries came to the film and stayed to shmooze in the Rote Foyer during the after screening wine reception. Among the VIP´s: Canadian video artist Steve Reinke who curated his own program Monday, that also included two nights of screening his own incredibly whimsical videos. Steve makes the kind of work that i just love. We are both certainly cut from the same nutty clothe. One of my favorite of his videos featured portraits of slain soldiers in Iraq arranged via their attractiveness. God i loves me them Canucks!
Rising Stars is the most mixed event in Berlin featuring the hoite paloi and the nosferati. Saturdays guest list included Katherina Fichtner of the Canadian Consulate, CHEAP´s Marc Siegel with intermedia actress girlfriend Susanne Sachsse who stars in Ron Athey´s Daddy at HAU 3. Anna Muelter, DJane Olga Damnitz with gal pal Nanna Heidenreich of Arsenal Experimental, curator Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Rick Owens´cute assistant Asha Mines, experimental filmmaker Saul Levine, San Francisco punk legend Jennifer Blowdryer who gave me a copy of her latest tome Good Advice for Young Trendy People Of All Ages. Ms. Blowdryer now lives in New York where she is a spoken word star. Balkan beefcake Sasha of bbooks kollective, film historian John Paul Goergen, British artist Andrew Kerton and his posse of tall, thin, young art fagulas, Laurie Andersons right hand gal Ruth Schönegger, visiting American scholars Zach Blas and Megan Skanse, video artists Gunsi Holmstrom &
Cathy High, Scandanavian Muslim Daniel Hendrickson who is off to Japan for vacation, male ingenue Tamar Novas in Berlina straight from his triumph at Cannes with Almodovars latest film Broken Embraces, Orlando of the pop group The Maccabees, pretty British photog Elly Clarke (with her lovely blondine sister Laura who brought her yummy actor beau Toby) Ms. Clarke just moved to Berlin, and is a glam addition to Teutonic society. Oh and i can´t forget to mention that scrumpteous Norweigan art photographer Benjamin Alexander Huseby, he is one super hot dark haired boy vixen.

LES HERBES FOLLES
The wonderful and talented young feminist filmmaking genius Evie Rüsseler who is co-starring with me in the new play Daddy by Travis Jeppeson, that premieres June 17th at the HAU 3 took me out for apperetif and din din Friday to celebrate my Ethyl Eichelberg award win. I got to ride on the back of her sexy Yamaha motorcycle. The last time i did this was at a Gay Pride Parade in San Francisco in the early 90s with Dykes on Bikes. It was scary but exhilerating! Evie makes her theatrical stage debut in Daddy, and she brings to the stage the same whimsical delight that is in her short film studies. After a delicious meal at the Lesbian Tapas boite in Kreuzeberg we were back on the motorcyle and over the bridges of Madison County into Friedrichshain/East Berlin to see GOSSIP perform. What a magnetic evening it was hanging back stage with the great beauty of all beauties Ms. Beth Ditto, resplendid in Vivienne Westwood, and her luscious manager Tara aka: Annie Oakley of the Sex Workers Art Show, and the rest of the fun loving spirited Gossip gang. The audience gave the group the proper worship such true shtars deserve. Can´t wait till the album drops which is their first on a major label. The new songs that were introduced are sensational. Ms. Ditto is a musical Flannery O´Connor.
Seen in the audience My Space operating chief Owen Van Natta, haute couture designer Frank Sorbier, German director Christian Petzold, actress Birgit Minichmayr and handsome, well hung Chinese action star Qin Hao.
***
One of my favorite Bricktops kids Miss Christiane left LA at around the same time i did, and moved to Portland, Oregon where she is designing and making by hand some unique retro styled clothing, including hats, vests, and bloomers through her new etsy store. Go to littlemisscrow.etsy.com and spend, spend, spend. Believe me you will be thrilled with your purchases.

JOHNNY ONE NOTE
Feeling in better spirits so i went to the famed punk venue SO36 to see MEN perform to a knockout sluggo enthusiastic crowd of devotees. A very cute lovesexy bevy of pert baby dykes in sports bras closed ranks in the nosh pitulem.
Seen in the celebutante huddle Arsenal Experimental´s beautiful and brainy Nanna Heidenreich with juicy gal pal DJane Olga Damnitz who just celebrated her 21st birthday. Balkan baby studkin Sasha of bbooks kollective looking very vegan delish strutting that bubble butt and buxom pectoralikins. Famous LA artist Dean Sameshima was turning heads with his boyish gaysian beauty. Ran into one of my luscious Weissensee students Lydia Hamann who was sporting a brand new fancy modern hairdoo while dressed in her usual glama mode. Visiting academe and hard bodied musclecologist Devin Fore and a lady friend told me about the must see exhibit of 91 year old Dada-ist Carol Rama at the Isabella Bertolozzi Gallery on Schoenberg Ufer across from the Neue National Museum. I am anxious to check it out.
Loving thankx and kisses to JD Samson, Ginger Brooks Takahashi and young guitar goddessa Miss Michael O´Neill for inviting me to their show which really got my mind off my romantic troubles and foibles. Something tells me that this new music group MEN, like GOSSIP is bound to stir some much needed trouble in the music industry. I even ran into ganymede TV honcho Ryan Murphy of Nip/Tuck fame in the audience. What was he doing at a punky indie rock concert? Most likely research/rip off for a new cable TV show. Hmmmmmmmmm
***
Don´t forget this Saturday May 23rd at 9pm i host Rising Stars, Falling Stars at Arsenal Institute Für Film und Video Kunst in the intimate Kino 2. This month its all about Canada with little known feminist film star Nell Shipman, and a screening of her 1919 hit Back To God´s Country. Eunice Martin will be accompanying the film on klavier, and after the movie is a wine reception in the Rote Foyer.

DA SAGT KEINE FRAU NEIN
Ali Janka of the Austrian art kollective Gelitin and his hot elderly lover Baby Papi Choulo came by my art studio the Cheese Endique Trifecta for a wonderful visit. I first met Ali back in 1998 through Bob Ostertag who performs with the Kronas Quartet. Ali and Bob had a thing going on at one time. Ali is one of the most unique artists i know and quite rebellious and whimsical. We are both cut from the same clothe of insanity, and I have always found him marvelously fascinating on every conceivable level. One of the things i love the most about him is that he is not wrapped up in the cult of youth and beauty. He is a young strapping gay man, swarthy and handsome in a grungy sort of way with bright sparkling eyes, and a friendly smile, but sexually he is what is known in the underground sex world as a granny bopper. Which means in lay terms that he only finds older men desireable. His long time lover Baby Papi must be in his mid 60s. The Baby Papi is trim, fit with a nicely shaped white Santa Claus beard. He looks decades younger then he is with a youthful infectious spirit, and gorgeous mischieveous eyes. Ali and Papi are deeply in love, and can´t keep their hands off each other. There aren´t many gay male couples whose relationship i respect. Ali and Baby Papi are the real deal, and I treasure and adore them.
*
Back in 2002 when i got kicked out of my huge Koreatown apt in Los Angeles i started writing about Gentrification and that i felt the collapse of Advanced Capitalism was coming near. At that time i was just dismissed as a sour grapes, disafected poor person and a crackpot. But its funny how a few years can change things. I predicted financial collapse and the bursting bubble during my weekly club Bricktops rants. Now I its 2009 and I feel vindicated.
*
There are some excellent articles in the latest issue of the German gender magazine Hugs and Kisses, including an interview I did with cute Tim Stüttgen that features lovely portraits of me by Annette Frick, Paula Winkler and Christiane Stephan. Grab a copy at your local teutonic newsstand.
*
The Doll is feeling a bit depressed and forlorn. Was in the Tiergarten park studying my text for the play Daddy that I am in directed by Ron Athey, when a very cute and well built blondine boy of 19 named Lars came up to me while i was sitting on a bench and started flirting with me. I had seen this kid many times in the park usually sunning himself naked on the infamous Cancer Shelf, where all the most hideous faggots in Berlina lie out in the nude showing off their giant lumpy penises. This boy stood out because of his radiant youth, twinkly bright eyes, and marvelous non steroid muscular body. As we chatted while I took a break from studying my lines, I could tell something was off with him. I asked in that blunt manner of mine if he was on any kind of medication, thinking that perhaps he was suffering from bipolar disorder or something of that sort. Well it turns out he is a grade A schitzophrenic. Just my luck the only true beauty to approach me with strong desire, and he is a raving lunatic. Someone actually crazier then I am.
The other day I ran into my Berlinale intern Jacob of the Samson hair and mighty rack of pectorals at the American Biblioteque. He was his usual coy muscular self, but when i gave him the hairy eyeball he retreated in haste. So is it any wonder with these latest notches on my belt loop, I am falling deeper into a dulldromic state of melancholia and despair. Only a hot spring love affair can get me out of this funky cold Medina.
*
The German version of Fathers Day-Männer Tag is coming up. Its actually a nutty male bonding/bromance ritual where the men escape their haus frau und kinder to spend the entire day getting drunker then humanly possible which usually culminates in some sort of violence, and a trip to the hospital. Sounds utterly charming doesn´t it?

SONG OF BERNADETTA
Received a joyous emug from the famous experimental film guru of Germany, Wilhelm Hein who along with his sexy young girlfriend the incredibly talented art photographer Annette Frick are on a dazzling European tour exhibiting their work. Annette has a huge museum show Everywhere, Sexual Diversity Policies in Art at the CGAC Museum of Santiago De Compostela in Northern Spain. The exhibit features work by Ron Athey, Leigh Bowery, Bruce La Bruce, George Dureau, Herve Guibert, Keith Haring, David Hochney, Derek Jarman, Herbert Tobias, Andy Warhol and David Wojnarowicz. Then they are off to Portugal for a show with Otto Muhl. Cant wait to hear all the details when they return to Berlin.
*
I forgot to mention a while back when doing shows in Zurich and Hamburg that I went to a gay sauna, and in both places it happened to be bisexual nite. This is becoming quite a trend at gay bathhouses, as few young gays go to these places. All gay boys under 30 get sex exclusively from the internet and don’t even patronize gay bars so these establishments are having to get creative to survive in this new global financial reality.
Bathhouses the world over since the 90s have always been hit or miss. But nowadays they are downright dismal. I liked the fact that these places are allowing women inside. Women in a traditional all gay male environment bring a much needed softness and civility. Gay men arent as brutal when forced to confront women in a sexual mileau. The social anthropologist in me likes this new trend, I just wish the bisexual men and the women who are now coming to saunas were a little more attractive. I felt like I was at a suburban swingers party.

SCHNELLER, STÄRKER,SCHLANK!
Listening to NPR Berlin´s Hearing Voices program, and to my utter surprise one of the Mother´s Day stories was produced and narrated by Ben Adair, a former collegue from my LA Weekly days. Ben was a lanky, adorably cute dorky looking white boy, who I sort of had a little crush on. Ben is now married with a child, and heads some bleeding heart liberal organization of which i cannot remember the name at the moment. He and his wife use to come to my 1920s speakeasy Bricktops on a semi regular basis. Ben is great, a bit self absorbed in the way some nerdy boys can be, but i really enjoyed listening to his NPR report featuring his mother searching through her old South roots in Mississippi. The entire Mother´s Day program was fascinating and Ben´s tale was a lovely bookend. Ben use to work for Pacific Drift at publc radio station KPCC in Los Angeles and even did a report where he interviewed The Doll on Hollywood Blvd about gentrification. I think you can still access this podcast somewhere on this very website.
I was supposed to do another Pacific Drift segment with Ben, but i calously blew him off. Hey I´m a drag queen, and we’re sometimes horrible human beings---what can I say. Ben is a little bit of fruit fly, but I was just too needy for him to deal with on a regular basis. I am happy he is doing well. Someone out there has to be more normative I guess.
UNORDNUNG UND FRÜHES LEID
Beloved comedian/actor Dom DeLouise died age 75. Dom was a notorious faggot, married with kids. He and his wife had worked out an arrangement where he was granted the freedom to haunt Santa Monica Blvd cruising spots looking for hot boy trade. Once he even tried to pick up my good friend the Canadian singer/songwriter Glen Meadmore. They didn’t have sex, but had a wonderful, hoot of a time together just talking and shooting the shit. Mr. DeLouise was a plucky goodtime Sally with a genuine heart of gold.
***
Cooked a sweet dinner at my Rote Insel Cheese Endique Trifecta studio for Anna Mülter and Christian “F” Weber. Anna has been the production manager for traveling CHEAP productions since 2007. She is also involved with coordinating the Jack Smith Live Film event for the fall, and Daddy the new play written by Travis Jeppeson that Ron Athey is directing for HAU 3, and also Bruce La Bruce´s Macho Family Romance and The Bad Breast which will premiere at HAU 2 in the fall. Christian F is a film theory scholar who worked with CHEAP on the Gossip Studio during the 2008 Berlinale. Christian is writing his thesis on patrician fagula Gus Van Sant.
***
I’ve been gettting lots of emugs from people congragulating me on winning the Ethyl Eichelberg Award from PS 122. It is a commission prize that goes to putting on a performance piece in the Spring of 2010 at PS 122. I am really excited that the downtown artist community of Manhattan awarded me this great honor. It seems that once i moved from LA to Berlin I started to get taken more seriously by the art and theater worlds. Well if you continue doing the work you have always done and don´t die, eventually you will get some recognition.
***
Last year i reported on a group art show at the Golf & Rosenthal Gallery in Berlin called The Dulcet Clime of the Bed Chamber. I didn´t properly credit a young artist named Jo-ey Tang whose work Burning Library on pleximirror was a particular standout. Well i am now correcting that grievous error so that the millions who read this blog can know about a knockout young art talent orbiting the heavenly firmament. I predict that Jo-ey Tang will be a major art star, and believe you me, that Vaginal Davis knows what she is talking about. So there.
***
Oh i also want my publicum to be aware of the new book RE.akt! Reconstruction, Re-enactment, Re-porting edited by Antonio Caronia, Janez Jansa and Domenico Quaranta, this hot off the press art book also features essays form Jennifer Allen of Art Forum, Jan Verwoert and Rod Dickinson, so if you have half a mind you must go online immediately, search for this book and buy it. You won´t be disappointed.

JEDERZEIT JEANS
Had first meeting for Daddy-you either got one or you is one. Daddy is the new piece I am starring in written by Travis Jeppeson and directed by Big Daddy Ron Athey, the tatoo love god for HAU 3. Daddy will feature an all-star cast headed by Susanne Sachsse, Artur Albrecht, Evelyn Rüssler and DJ Snax. The sets and costumes will be designed by Christophe Chemin with assist from Senol Sentürk, make-up by Tan Binh Nguyen, with production assistance from Anna Mülter and Friederike Pietsch. This production will be intense as its more of a regular linear play in structure. I wasn´t expecting a text driven piece, and normally I don´t find that very interesting. Of course with Ron Athey directing, I am sure it will become more fragmented. We are rehearsing six days a week and it is grueling. So far this has been one of the most difficult projects I´ve ever embarked on.
***
Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus and Nanna Heidenreich of the Arsenal Institute für Film und Video Kunst put together a lovely picnic at the Landwehr canal. It was a birthday celebration for Lauren, one of Stefanie´s most devoted Canadian friends, so there were plenty of Canucks from Toronto & Ottawa including Kelly and Kapil visiting Berlin enjoying our gorgeous Spring weather.
***
On Wal Purgis Nacht which is the eve of May Day similar to Devil´s Night in the states i got caught out in the early evening during the beginning of the mayhem. Luckily i realized it was best to not be on the street. Ran into a youth who looked like the icky theorist Nicolas Luhmann. The kid was drunk but was still trying his best to explain how big super post modernist systems will save the world. Yuck.
***
Breakfast with Will-Em Rich aka Billy, who is an academy award nominated film editor. We met at TuffStein Cafe in Rote Insel around the corner from my studio the Cheese Endique Trifecta. Great seeing Billy who i have known since he was 16 years old and worked on Bruce La Bruce´s Hustler White. Billy still lives in Silverlake, but travels alot being a part of a high profile film editing team for A list Hollywood productions. I am glad someone i know is really successful and financially secure. I am doomed to a life of hand-to-mouth existence. Billy was taking a break from working on the new Russell Crowe/Cate Blanchette Robin Hood movie filming in London, and decided to spend his May Day holiday here in Berlina.
Billy use to be my handsome escort to Club Sucker every Sunday in the late 90s, chueffering me around in his 1960s muscle car. It was great spending time with one of my old Los Ang pals. I told Billy to go to Club Pork at Ficken 3000 and he had a great time there seeing Jake Spears and Baby Daddy from The Scissor Sisters DJ. The lovesexy Mr. Spears called me the other day and wants to get together for brunch.
***
A cute note sent to me from the baby diaper Joel Gibb who is working on his new album back home in Canada.

Vag, the live sex show was at a club called Goodhandy's. Judy is apparently
hosting and DJing a party there on June 21. Basically there was this sweet
tranny hosting the night and bringing up different guys and inspecting them.
Then the two guys came up on stage. One was a twinky blond guy, very tall and
gangly with a horrible angular haircut. The other guy was more normal looking,
shorter and a little hairy. Anyways after some chit chat with the tranny they
got down to business. The twink started sucking the other guy in a very feminine
and contrived way. Then the twink started FUCKING the other guy and it was very
mechanical and loveless, it just seemed wrong.
SOmeone was videotaping it and the live feed was being projected on the balcony
where we were hanging out. After a few minutes they came all over the blue mat
and he took off the shit stained condom and tossed it to the side. Interesting
but kind of creepy.

I WON THE ETHYL EICHELBERGER AWARD FOR 2009
Yes i am the first non New Yorker to be awarded this honor given out by other artists and not arts administrators. Now i need a MacArthur Genius grant, hint hint. Let me explain just what this means. The Ethyl Eichelberger Award is a commissioning award created by Performance Space 122 in 2005 and made possible with the generous support of the Gesso Foundation. The Ethyl Eichelberger Award is given to an artist or group that exemplifies Ethyl's larger-than-life style and generosity of spirit; who embodies Ethyl's multi-talented artistic virtuosity, bridging worlds and vitalizing those around them. Recipients include Taylor Mac (2005), Julie Atlas Muz (2006),Justin Bond (2007)and Jennifer Miller (2008). So i am in excellent company.
Was just thinking about Bea Arthur´s death which ijust found out was from cancer, also that she was 86 years old. I loved her in the Lucille Ball vanity project remake of Auntie Mame simpled retitled Mame(1974).
Went to see Jason Segel´s latest film I Love You, Man. Jason is one of my platonic male actor friends. For a minute Jason thought he might be gay. He had a thing for big black women, and so i fit that bill, but he realized that he likes real puddy before it ever went anywhere. I love him in this picture which co-stars cute Paul Rudd who is adorable. Jason always wants my opinion on his projects, but i have no reference point for mainstream Hollywood product so i always feel like i do him a dis-service, but he never gets rattled. At first i thought i was going to hate the movie, but i actually enjoyed the bro-mantic tale, and it wasn´t as cheesecorn as i expected. Jason and Paul really came across as two hetero men who are best pals, and there was a loveliness to the proceedings that is quite rare in this type of flicker. I could relate to Paul´s character in that i don´t have very many male friendships in that i prefer the company of women to men and i live in a strictly feminine world. I really find most men dull, and that includes gay men. I only like men for sex, and after that is over with, i really don't have much use for them.

TRIEBEN SIE’S BUNT
Beatrice Arthur the award winning TV actress who first came to fame as the star of the long running hit sitcom from the 1970s Maude has unexpectedly died. Well I say unexpectedly, but the fact is she was at least 80 years old, and probably older. TV´s Maude was created by Norman Lear and was a spinoff from his All In The Family series, which created the bigoted character of Archie Bunker. Arthur played the rambunctious Maude who was the woman´s lib cousin to Edith Bunker (played by Jean Stapleton on AITF)I don´t have any details concerning her death, but this beloved figure was a feminist icon for me, and many other girls growing up in the early 1970s. As the pant suit wearing straight talking right on Maude! she embodied an outspoken, butch realness harnessed through femme wit that was appealing to millions of young FITs who saw her as an outsider kindred spirit. She also had another hit series in the late 80s and 90s called Golden Girls which I didn´t really see that much of being that I didn´t own a TV during that time period, but what I did see of the program was a hilarious hoot.
***
Had drinks at Melitta with Lily Simonsen and her friend Lindsay Lawton Saturday. I originally met Lily back in 1998 at the Beck & Al Hansen Playing With Matches art show at the Thread Waxing Space in NYC. Lily was a teenage Beck fanatic at the time, but has grown into a commanding young tyro artist going to school at UCLA. Her pal Lindsay is bright and sweet having just moved to Berlin in November and attends the art akademie in Frankfurt. The three of us had a girlish giggly time sitting al fresco style watching the cute boys pass by. I had intended on meeting them Friday evening at Kim Bar in Mitte where Assaf Hochman was celebrating his 30th birthday, but the S-Bahn was shut down because of a World War II bomb scare. In Berlin whenever there is construction they are always oncovering old bombs that have never detonated and are still quite lethal. This time it was a 100 kilogram/220 lb Soviet bomb that experts had to remove two detonaters from Friday at a construction site near the Neues Museum. Evacuations not only occurred at Alexander platz, but Unter Den Linden and Chanceller Angela Merkel´s private residence. Needless to say I didn´t make ito to Assaf´s soiree.
***
Ran into Anna Muelter and Big Daddy Ron Athey after my visit with the girls Saturday in the early evening. Daddy took me for din din at a yummy Turkish bistro and then we drank some Jack Daniels at his Yorkstrasse flat. Daddy is in town directing a new stage piece written by Travis Jeppeson called Daddy that stars Susanne Sachsse, DJ Snax. Evie Rüssler and the Vagimule Doll. This insanely hilarious play is about an 11 year old boy who impregnates his teacher played by yours truly becoming a real life baby Daddy. Susanne plays the kids hysterical actress mother. This project is going to be ill. Daddy Athey is now living in London with his hot young Argentinian boyfriend Alfredo. He has no plans of ever returning to his flat in the Silverlake foothills.
***
Had a wonderful bruncheon with Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus at Kaiserstein Cafe-Mehringdamn. Frau Strathaus and I share so many things in common, and it was lovely exchanging girlish secrets. I still remember the first time we met, and i immediately was taken with her, feeling like we were kindred spirits. Women like Stefanie make life in Berlin very special and unique. She is a city treasure.
***
I enjoy sharing with you my dear faithful readers personal emugs I get from pals in the states. You might find these blurbs amusing. I have edited them a bit to protect the guilty.

Sent a few weeks ago from a friend I shall call Kill Spector

“I was at the Coachella Music festival in the desert this past weekend. There were alot of hotties! getting younger and firmer...
I have a friend named Steve. We have been fuck buds for a while now, over 2 yrs! what a fucken dog i am. Steve is a cool white guy, he is a big wig for starbucks and has a 66 yr old boyfriend/daddy. Steve is 38yrs old and has a BIG UNCUT WHITE CHORIZO and you guessed it, a frustrated bottom. Anyways, we had not fooled around together in a while, we recently connected and he had been wanting to see someone else suck me off. I said, Cool, I'm down. So i was at his place in the fucken hills in Hollywood, he put an add on Craigslist to get a cocksucker for two uncut f'buds. Well, as we were laughing our asses off on the replies- the pictures, the guys who said they were 36 yrs old with mugs that were no younger then 60! Anyways, we got one really nasty reply. It said something like, Deepthroated Pig Cocksucker, blah blah blah, so of course we look at the email further with pics. The pics had what was clearly dark skinned chorizo's jammed down a white mouth. The guy sent 5 different pics. I said to Steve, wait a minute, the guy has a regular email address--- I recognized the email so we reply to the email, send full pic. He did, well it was the sex starved famous fashion stylist boyfriend of an acquaintance of mine. We did not invite him over, as a matter of fact we did not invite anyone over. Steve and i did our usual thing without a third. So there you have it”

And one message sent to be from my young friend who lives in San Francisco i shall call Arty Tarty:

“Spring has arrived here which means everyone is in heat! I dumped my hot swimmer bf because he was getting needy and I was getting bored of being a top. Although he's hung like a horse he's more into taking it like the pussy boy he is. Which was fun for a while but with all these hotties running around looking to pollinate I just can't conceive of being monogamous. Just yesterday I was part of a really hot orgy on top of bernal heights. In the name of art, a group of friends had climbed to the top of the hill to fuck and suck to a women in a white dress playing a piano. Some really classic Judy numbers were played as sf's most recalcitrant queers got really nasty. It got to the point where I really didn't know what to expect to find in the next persons pants I went down on. I am so sunburned now but it was so worth it!”

KLASSISCHER
Just got back from Hamburg where i performed as part of Girl Monster #4 Are You a Boy or a Girl? Girl Monster is a traveling mini-festival kurated by Melissa Logan and Alex Murray-Leslie of lovesexy music & art kollective Chicks on Speed. It was exciting being back in Hamburg where i haven´t done a performance since 1996. The performances took place at the world famous Kampnagel which is like a mega industrial art complex hosting dance, music, experimental theater and the like. They even have a restaurant attached, and you all know how the Vaginal Davis doll loves to eat and drink her white wine spritzers.
What a lovely whirlwind mid week get-a-way from Berlin, a delicious treat. I was put up at this cute hotel, hostel and lounge which was crawling with young fat tittied humpy boys. A perky blondine morsel of a jungen behind the front desk even flirted with me which of course goes a long way with the Vagimule in making her feel welcome, plus the hotel hosted a free breakfast.
It was great seeing Amelie the director of Kampnagel and several other curators from all over Europa came up and introduced themselves to me. I was kept in a giddy hoot during the entire time i was there. It was nice traveling to Hamburg by train instead of flying and leaving a huge carbon footprint.
The wonderful evening started out with some short subject film screenings, followed by Ginger Brooks Takahashi doing a cute, chatty little performance piece assisted by hostesa Melissa and Alex of Chicks on Speed, then i came out with my insanity, followed by headliners MEN the new art and music project from JD Samson und Johanna Fateman of LeTigre. Johanna was back in the states as she just gave birth to a little baby named Goldie so joining JD was the spirited Ms. Takahashi on bass and dream boy Michael O'Neill doing rock god guitar. They all looked Fernando Lamas marvelous on stage and kept the large crowd in a dance rock frenzy with their exalted tunes and anthems. I was rocking out with Melissa who was playing paparazzi for the evening, and Alex occasionally joined by MEN tour manager Tomas who not only takes care of this band, but also The Hidden Cameras. Creating the evenings festive decor was Nadine, and taking care of Ms. Davis was Tanja, who not only picked me up at the train station and made sure i was at soundcheck on time, but spent the next day with me checking out the St. George gay area and oogling eyecandy from the famous Gnosis sidewalk cafe. Tanja will be in Berlin in May doing music for a spoken word project.
Girl Monster will continue at the Donau Festival in Krems, Austria. I played that festival last year and its haute!!!!
PS-One of the members of the RAF who was just released from prison was at the Girl Monster show rocking out with three cocks out.

SPOT AUF SEX UND SITTENSTRENGE
Went to the opening of Exile Gallery for the Japanese artist Kazuko Miyamoto who has been living in New York since the 1960s. In fact she is 67 years old and a contemporary of Yoko Ono and Yayoi Kusama. According to Exile Gallery owner Christian Siekmieir she still likes to party hard even visiting the famed Berlin Techno club Berghain. Her work which consists of line drawings and string&thread form installations is quite mathematical, not a style of art that usually floats my proverbial boat, but i did find myself mesmerized by her detail and repetition factor, wanting to jump right into her string web assemblages and get eaten by a giant three peniled spider. I suggested to Christian that he and his ginger lover have a three-way with the artist. Christian blushed, which tells me that young people these days are so L7. I´m sure Ms. Miyamoto would be game. What could be better then a near 70 year old female artist getting her gnut from two middle class faggots in their 30s,eh?
At the opening were a bushel of art fags including Rupert Goldsworthy and his German lover who have rented the space next door, and will open their gallery in May. This part of Alexandrinenstr is really becoming popular. Rumour has it that The Gagosian will buy up the Turkish tower block at the end of the street for their upcoming Gagosian Berlin Mega Art complex---huzzah! Seen drinking sect in the foyer Edgar Ramirez, the actor who will play the infamous Jaeckel terrorist in an upcoming film with his handsome beau Cam Gigandet, the vampire villain in the teen thriller Twilight.
If you want to read writing by someone who has one of the most brilliant minds in Christendom then you should definately check out Ernest Hardy´s blog at Ernesthardy.blogspot.com. Ernest was one of my collegues at the LA Weekly and is truelly one of the most unique voices around. He has also published several tomes that are a must read so go to Amazon.com and place your order now for anything written by Ernest. You won´t regret it.
Saw Keira Knightley in the film The Duchess, where she plays an ancestor of the late Diana Princess of Wales. I love me my costume melodramas and this one is top notch. Ralph Feines looks appropriately in pain throughout the film and gives a delightfully restrained performance, almost too restrained. I was loving that humpy little pud Dominic Cooper of the History Boys. I would fornicate with him in a heartbeat and not care about the consequences.
All my Hamburg fans should come to the Kampnagel Wednesday April 22nd. I will be performing as part of the Girl Monster-R U A Boy or a Girl Festival, curated by Chicks on Speed. Also on the bill is MEN, the new dance craze project by JD Samson and Joanna Fateman of Le Tigre fame along with Emily Roysdon of LTTR. It should be a hoot.

GEWINNEN SIE EINE TRAUMREISE
Rising Stars, Falling Stars explosive 120th birthday celebration of Charlie Chaplin was SRO as the Blue Bros. Tim & kJohnny performed beautifully and gracefully composing a compeling score to the short subjects from 1914 Masquerade, Caught in a Cabaret, His Trysting Place and the hilarious His Pre-historic Past. The audience appreciated the famed tale of Chaplins queering exploits with AC Blumenthal and Harry d’Arrast and a bevy of young male prostitutes in the palatial suite of New York’s Ambassador Hotel where the little tramp covered his erection in iodine to keep from contracting a venereal disease.
Also celebrating their birthday, the daper composer and musicologist Volker Straebel with a large assortment of his BFF´s including lovesexy Mattias Osterwold, the Music director of Maerz Music, Gabriele Knapstein, curator of the Hamburger Bahnof, and Vincent Hediger, film scholar with Buchum University. Also seen the vivacious ballerina Beatrice “Trixie” Cordua, handsome Catherine Sullivan dancer Assof Hochman with beau Alexander the Great of Macedonia with his cute film school posse that includes the beautiful French/German boy Julian, LA fashion designer Cornel Collins,Daniel Hendrickson the Scandanavian Muslim, Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras who will be mixing his new album in Toronto so will be away from Berlin for six weeks during which time Jake Shears of the Scissor Sisters will be subleting his spacious Neu Kölln compound, Boris Lauser the raw foods celebrity chef with his perky San Francisco pals, Christian “F” Weber, Claudia & Garret, Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus who also just celebrated a milestone birthday, German pop star Cleuso, curly haired booty pie artist Bertrand Bodenave, Alannah Weston creative director of Selfridges, male ingenue Jake Myerson of The Lost Child with his mother Julie Myerson, British provacateuse Isabela Blow with writer Hamish Bowles, art star Elias Hassos, art director Julia-Restoin Roitfeld,Christian Siekmier of Exile Gallery with Japanese artist Kazuko Miyamoto whose String and Thread opening is Friday April 18th from 7-10pm at Exile which is located at Alexandrinenstr 4 www.Thisisexile.com.
EIN PATIENTENRATGEBER DER HEXAL AG
Got a personal invite from Rufus Wainwright to attend the production of Shakespeares Sonette at the famed Berliner Ensemble that he collaborated on with Robert Wilson. Rufus and i re-connected at the going away party for Judy LaBruce at Pork last Monday night. He really looks good, i haven´t seen him since he came to my performance art club G.I.M.P. Unltd back in 2000. Rufus had been a regular at my Sunday afternoon punk rock beer bust Club Sucker in Silverlake way before his first album came out.
I knew he had a German boyfriend,but what i didn´t know till recently that his Deutsch beau is Jörg Weisbrot who starred in my Berlin Stories series of short films I made back in 2001 with multi talented Susanne Sachsse. Jörg is a handsome, tall dark and strapping specimen of uber male verility and for years worked as Robert Wilson´s assistant in Germany. I hadn´t seen Jörg since 2001 and he looks even younger now then he did almost ten years ago, and sleeker. He and Rufus were wearing matching sequinned tuxedos. Also in attendance at this mega event was the baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras and Jake Shears of the Scissor Sisters. Rufus also introduced me to British pop legend Neil Tennant of The Pet Shop Boys who is very charming and i think is now living in Berlin. Don´t hold me to that because i could be wrong. I do work on high journalistic principles of verifying things by at least two sources.
Jake Shears is definately living in Berlin for at least the Spring and Summer.
Now what about the performance of Shakespeares Sonnet? Well it was lovely in that Robert Wilson way of gorgeous set design, sound and lighting. Lots of mega bucks went into this production and it shows. The Issey Miyake like costumes were suspermb! The actual costumes were designed by Jacques Reynaud. The performances were also top notch, and Rufus´music lilting. La Rufus even gifted the audience with not one, but two reprises of the shows hit songs. Of course with a Bob Wilson production things don´t change that much. The performers glide across the stage in that Klaus Nomi like way that you always see in a Wilson production and the tableaux vivant created are sumpteous. In all it was quite an enjoyable evening at the theatre seeing a blue chip piece of work.

SEX HATTE ICH FREHER GENUG
Two weeks and a jolly good time in tres expensive Zurich collaborating with Bruce La Bruce and Susanne Sachsse on Macho Family Romance at the Neumarkt Theatre. Also part of the extended Macho Family was Pierce and Massimo of the Anarcocks and Black Sun Productions who brilliantly created the music and sound for the piece.It was lovely working with the mighty Anarcocks and cute little art scion Lukas Beyeler whose production design encompassed the visuals and video projections of this mixed media collage attack. Macho as a piece featured inspiration from the neglected film versions of Jean Genet´s The Maids and The Balcony with heavy assist from John Cassavettes Killing of a Chinese Bookie, Clair Denis's Beau Trevail,Stanley Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket with Robert Aldrich's The Killing of Sister George and What Ever Happened to Baby Jane thrown in for good measure. Susanne and I portrayed two slightly incestous sisters Beyonce and Solange Le Mercier. Beyonce is the Madame of a boydello and i am the secretary/bookkeeper of the place resentful that my sexy baracuda older sister gets to train and dominate the humpy male concubines. The Beyonce/Solange thing mirrors Glenda Jackson and Susanne York's power struggle in The Maids as well as the Shelly Winters/Lee Grant lesbianic relationship in The Balcony. Because of my gout condition i was forced to perform in a wheelchair and thats where the Baby Jane/ SisterGeorge interplay comes in. Judy La Bruce turned this into a lip sync Ballet tableaux. La Judy is definately making a name for herself on the live stage front and should continue venturing into this arena, something that began when we came up with the idea of having her direct us in CHEAP Blacky last year.
Macho was in all quite ambitious a project for such a short period of time to put together, but never underestimate the drive and power of Ms. Sachsse who is boundless energy personified and is always coming up with great ideas and making things work. I wish i had half of her stamina. That is why Susanne is the fearless leader of kollective CHEAP.
Magnificent as the temple prostitutes was the Neumarkt's male ensemble. It was glorious working with handsome singing sensation Thiemo Strutzenberger, who tackled You Stepped Out Of A Dream better then Tony Martin in Ziegfeld Girl, also divine beauty boy Jorg Koslowsky, who re-interpreted Fred Astair in Royal Wedding in one of Macho's fabricant production numbers. Uber manlische Alpha male Sigi Terpooten was the unofficial leader of the ensemble and reminds me of 1940s era matinee idols. Delightful ingenue with the hottest tightest little bubble butt Thomas Müller looked so strident in his high heels and sock garters, and debonair Matthias Breitenbach has the best comic timing short of Buster Keaton in his heydey. Matthias was really working that street lamp during his red light district scenes. I also had a great time hanging out with him and his gorgeous actress/wife who is a pal of Berlin legendina ZaZie de Paris.
We had only 5 days to work with the actors, but they delved into the workshopping of the piece with passion, creativity and committment. Alchemy was adherent with the Macho Family and a new phenomena born.
Barbara Weber the Neumarkt's Theatre head honcha took us to a fancy din din at the famous Kronen Halle, Zurich's best restaurant, then afterward we went to the Kino Xenix where they were having a BLAB retrospective that began with the Zurich premiere of Otto. The luscious 35 mm print glowed.
The performances of Macho Family were all sold out with the youngest crowds the theatre has ever seen. For the opening,Judy LaBruce, Black Sun Productions and I DJ'd at the Macho Party. Seen in the audience for the performance and the party: Antony Hegarty of Antony and the Johnsons, Daniel Perics, Garret Nelson, Iba and Michael Halves of Super 700, who earlier in the week performed an acoustic set of their new songs, Elvis Perkins the musician son of the late Anthony Perkins, Dimitrina of Bulgaria, that walking career Heiko Pfost, filmmaker Corlotta Steinmann and fashion designer Mona Lisa Madörnin. Special thanks to our Production Manager Anna Muelter, my assistant The Love Camel, our jock strap clad rollerboogie boys Richard Wagner, Jorg and muscular ginger Giuseppe, LaRissa and Elizabeth of the Neumarkt Administration and our wonderful assistant director, the handsome Robert Gerloff and his pretty girlfrind Gabriela Neubauer, also Ralf Fiedler, make-up mistress Denise Christen, behind-the-scenes talent: Twist Sopek, Ueli Duttweiler and Franz Fleischmann.
SCHNELLER, STARKER, SCHLANK
Back in Berlin and its finally Spring. The folks at Pork at Frankenstein 5000 gave Judy LaBruce a special Monday edition going away party with all the trimmings. Ms. Davis and Baby Diaper Joel Gibb worked the wheels of steel along with some tag teaming with La Judy. The old Frankenstein has probably never seen so many celebs with lovesexy Jake Spears of The Scissor Sisters, Rufus Wainwright in town performing for the Robert Wilson production at the Berliner Ensemble and art photog Wolfgang Tillmans. Also seen in the throng: Parisian “It” boy Christophe Chermin, DJ Snax who did an impromptu performance from his new album, writer Travis Jeppeson with his Slovakian beau Mario, intermedia actress Susanne Sachsse and film historian Marc Siegel who are off to the USA for holiday, Anna Muelter, plus Rupert Goldworthy who will be opening a new gallery here in Berlin.

DAS KINDERTAGBUCH
In Zurich preparing for the Bruce La Bruce hostile takeover Macho Family Romance that features Susanne Sachsse, Black Sun Productions and the male actors of the Neumarkt Theatre. The theatre has put us in the glam boutique hotel Plattenhof near the University of Zurich. My room is gorgeous with a grand vista outside the windows. The staff here are very sweet and accomodating. Its lovely to be away from Berlin.
Massimo and Pierce of Black Sun Productions had us over for a delicious feast of a dinner, where we met Lukas Beyele, who will also be working on this production. Last night Judy LaBruce and i went to the rent boy bar Carousel and saw some scrumpteous specimens of Brazilian bubblebuttness, and Shiva, the local Zurich celebrity TV psychic who was drinking at the small pub with a large entourage of sychophants. Earlier in the evening we saw the Neumarkt Theater production of Anna Karenina directed by Barbara Weber who is the attendant of the theater. The piece started off like a melodramatic retelling of Tolstoy ala Douglas Sirk. I loved the music that was used and wished there was more of it throughout, and of course the set design was magnificent. We will be using the same set for our production that premieres April 4th.
Received some distressing news from Berlin. Ronald Tavel died on the airplane on his way back home to Bancock. Below is the letter sent to all the participants of Live Film. Mr. Tavel was a great talent and will be missed by the world.

Dear Friends,

It is with deep sadness and great regret that we write to inform you of the
death of Ronald Tavel. We were notified Wednesday afternoon that Ron died on
his return trip to Bangkok. The exact cause of death is still unknown to us.
We are shocked by this horrible news. Ron is survived by his brother,
Harvey, and scores of friends worldwide.
It was certainly clear to all in attendance this past weekend that Ron is of
central importance to the LIVE FILM! (jack smith) Festival, to any
discussion of Jack Smith¹s life and work, to Andy Warhol¹s filmmaking, and
to the development of Œ60s off-off Broadway theater. Many of us had the
great pleasure of working with Ron eight years ago when we invited him to
Berlin to develop a performance with us that paid homage to Carmen Miranda
and Jack Smith called CHEAP JEWELRY: A Fruitbasket for JS. Excited by this
collaboration, Ron spontaneously suggested staging a new production of his
seminal screenplay/stage play The Life of Juanita Castro. Juanita Castro was
performed once in Berlin in Podewil in May 2001 under Ron¹s direction,
starring Vaginal Davis as Juanita and Susanne Sachsse as Fidel. Concluding
his extended reflection on this production for Theater Heute¹s yearbook,
Diedrich Diederichsen wrote, ³Ronald Tavel was-and is­ahead of his time.²
While in Berlin, Matthias Haase and Marc Siegel conducted a lengthy
interview with Ron, an excerpt of which was published in German in the book
Golden Years. Throughout the interview, Ron talked extensively about his
theater career, the emergence of the Theater of Ridiculous out of his work
with Warhol, his relationship to Smith and his and Smith¹s fascination for
Maria Montez. About Smith, Ron said: ³I would never mention Maria Montez in
public before I met him, because that would seem like talking about a very
private thing. It was nobody else¹s business. They wouldn¹t understand. It
was somewhat embarrassing too. In that way, he freed me up.² At the end of
his excellent essay about Smith and Montez, ³Maria Montez: Anima of an
Antediluvian World,² Ron writes:
"I was living in New Orleans and trying to rouse a roommate too dissolute to
go out on the street and get a job when Penny Arcade called me to tell me
that Jack had died. I dropped the phone, and ran away from it, sobbing and
jabbering, ³No! No! No!²
And I was a kid in Coney Island gathering my courage to conquer a fearful
fantasy by getting on the cloud-topped Wonder Wheel, when its loudspeaker,
tune to a radio station, blasted a new bulletin: the death of Maria Montez,
she¹d drowned in her bath in far-off France. It made no sense. Like every
little boy on my block, I was set on growing up to marry her. What would
happen now? I couldn¹t process the information. I decided to dismiss it. By
then no one had spoken about her for a while, anyhow. I boarded a car on the
Wheel and it took me up haltingly farther off the ground than I¹d ever been
in my life. From the windows of the car when it reached its height, the
quarter-million people on the beach, the great gray Atlantic beyond them,
and the world¹s largest amusement park seemed small."
Due to the exhilarating and productive work we had done with Ron, we were
thrilled that LIVE FILM! (jack smith) gave us the opportunity to bring him
back to Berlin to collaborate on a new project. On Sunday, the day before he
died, Anna, Matthias H., Susanne and Marc spent a lovely, long afternoon
with him discussing the events of the weekend and his plans for the festival
in October. We asked Ron if he would program and introduce one of Maria
Montez¹s films in the context of the festival. He agreed and said
immediately, ³You¹ll have to screen Siren of Atlantis.² After the intensity
of those compact two days, this leisurely, relaxed afternoon together
brought the weekend to a delightful close. Ron was at his most charming and
we all relished in his talents as a witty raconteur and an experienced
gentleman of the theater. He was excited about writing a new play for the
festival to pay homage to Jack Smith, one that he was going to call either
Que dices? or What did she say? We spent a great deal of time tossing around
ideas in HAU 1 (the old Hebbel theater) where the play was to take place in
October. Ron was particularly interested in involving a number of people
from the festival in the production. We left him that evening, all of us
full of excitement and hope about his new play and our future collaboration.
We remain in shock and saddened by his loss. We realize as well that all of
us involved in this LIVE FILM! (jack smith) project have had the great
fortune to spend Ron¹s last weekend with him, an exhilaratingly productive
weekend of watching Jack Smith¹s films in Kino Arsenal and discussing
Smith¹s work, the work of Ron¹s long-time collaborator and friend in things
ridiculous, things beautiful.
When we receive information about plans for a memorial service or
suggestions for donations or further assistance, we will be in touch. We
will also ensure that Ron¹s centrality to the LIVE FILM! (jack smith)
project is evident in the festival in October in Berlin.

Sadly,
Susanne Sachsse, Marc Siegel, Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Anna Mülter, Nadja
Talmi, and Matthias Lilienthal

UNCLE PASTY
After years of neglect and bad diet, its finally caught up with me and my knee problems have turned more urgent. Thank god i have foreigners insurance here in Berlin. I won´t go into all the specifics at this time, but i am taking all this medication and will be performing my next show in Zurich, a collaboration with Judy LaBruce and Susanne Sachsee called Macho Family Romance in a wheelchair ala Miss Joan Crawford in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. My illness couldn´t have come at a worse time, being that i am busy with this Jack Smith Live Film project which involves lots of discussions and screenings of the Smith ouvre as restored by the great Jerry Tartaglia of the Plaster Foundation. The last few days has been overwhelming in long deep discourse with Penny Arcade, Jim Hoberman of the Village Voice, filmmaker Ela Troyano, handsome Israeli artist Uzi Parnes and legendary filmmaker and experimental musician Tony Conrad who was in Normal Love. Things got heated, but stayed for the most part pretty calm among those who have shared close relations with Jack Smith and his legacy. The European crew touched by Smith hands: Beatrice "Trixie" Cordua and her husband Ludvig Schönherr and W&B Hein.
The participating names in this event is staggering. Its the ultimate list of greats upon greats: Callie Angell, Antonio Baehr/Werner Hirsch, Tim Blue, Pauline Boudry, Nao Bustamente, Christophe Chemin, Senator Douglas Crimp, Martin Dannecker, Diedrich Diederichsen, Jennifer Doyle, Ulrich Goss, Karola Gramann, Herbert Gschwind, Matthias Haase, Nanna Heidenreich, John Heys, Oliver Husain, Dominic Johnson, Andrew Kerton, Sean Michael Kirk, Jakob Lena Knebl, Michael Krebber, Renate Lorenz, Marie Losier, Jose Munoz, Ulrike Ottinger, Juliane Rebentisch,Evi Rüsseler, Hans Scheirl, Heide Schlüpmann, Isabell Spengler, Tim Stüttgen, Juan Suarez, Ronald Tavel, Klaus Walter, Guy Maddin, Julianna Snapper, Richard Dyer, Amy Taubin, Jose´Teunissen with the curatorial team being Susanne Sachsse, Marc Siegel Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Anna Mülter, Nadja Talmi, Kristian "Kiki" Petersen and Olga Damnitz.
Whew. I am excited about this two part event which will reconvene in the fall. I want to write more about seeing such films as No Presidents, Sinbad of Bagdad and Jungle Island, but i am exhausted and have to prepare for Zurich so i must leave you all horndoggy and anxious.

UNSERE NEUEN LIEBLINGS-LOOKS
I´ve been hearing rumblings that the US of A is looking to The General Theory of Employment, Interest and Money by John Maynard Keynes in a feeble attempt at fixing this global financial Irwin Allen complex. Mr. Keynes who went to Cambridge´s Kings College was a big nutty fagula and anti-semite, so boning on his principles won´t alleviate this ga-mess. Those of you who follow my blog religiously know that I predicted the pattymeltdown waaay back in 2002 when i got ceremoniously kicked out of my huge Koreatown flat in Los Angeles. As an early blogger, before the term was even coined i was telling the gospel truths that the mainsteam media wouldn´t dare touch. I also heralded the kingdom news back in the 1980s in print form with my Fertile LaToyah Magazine. Now of course newspapers and magazines the world over are hurting because they have been made obsolete—well its their own damnacus fault. Those who live by the status quo die by it. Of course none of that matters now that i am living in beautiful, but bleak Berlin. What does matter is that there is finally a whiff of spring in the air.
Saturday March 14th the monthly event i curate Rising Stars, Falling Stars salute to the Japanese silent classic A Page of Madness (Karuta Ipege) directed by Kenogasa Tanoske was a huge hit with the Berliners. There were lots of first timers to my program at Arsenal Institute für Film und Video Kunst. Eunice Martin on piano played majestically putting the audience in a well fortified trance that went nicely with the equally transcedent images on the screen. The after screening reception hosted a bevy of shiny shineys including the lovesexy young Brazilian filmmaking duo Melissa Dullius & Gustavo Jahn whose luscious short subject Triangulum played at Forum Expanded in the Sensory Spaces #1 program, handsome and well hung Japanese American artist Dean Sameshima was being charming and vivacious as he flitted about and flirted with Scandanavian beauty, photographer and multi-media artist Benjamin Alexander Huseby who is part of the group exhibit Psychometry at Exile Gallery. The stunning Mr. Sameshima and Mr. Huseby sure can turn heads. Also representing Forum Expanded the powerful filmmaker and UDK professor Isabelle Spengler whose short LINT LENT LAND – Does that mean “Dust has temporarily given this land its form”? which was a big hit at the Berlinale Film Festival chatted with New York artist Alina and Turkish set designing hunkatia Senol Senturk. US Scholar Devin Fiore rubbed shoulders with Joel Gibb of Torontos The Hidden Camera just back from a well deserved three day holiday in Cuba with his physical therapist to the shtars boyfriend Enrico. Waif like raw foods celebrity chef Boris Lauser was telling everyone about his holiday in Cambodia while downtown New York legendina John Heys regaled partygoers about Hounen Matsuri,the Japanese Penis Day where the people of the town of Komaki, about 250 miles south of Tokyo celebrate a fertility festival each year on March 15th. The festivities include a mile-long processional route to the shinto shrine of Tagata Jinja that echoes with the sounds of bamboo flutes and the chant “Hoh-sho, hoh-sho” while a group of half naked men carry this giant erect penis carved from a single cypress tree trunk. The spirit of penii day was certainly alive in the Rote Foyer with Berlin “It boy” Gunnar Neumann, British live art star Richard Hancock , Alexander the Great of Macedonia aka: Tilemachos-Alexios Alexiou, Sasha of bbooks with husband Jannas and a sweet visiting McGill University of Montreal academic. It was lovely seeing that red scarf boy Michel P. , Piero Bellomo of La Collezionne with lover Daniel “Haji” Hendrickson, inter media actress Susanne Sachsse with film historian beau Marc Siegel, Anna Muelter, Israeli juicy Lior Shamreiz, Italian auteur Nanni Moretti, Nanna Heidenreich of Arsenal Experimental, DJ Olga Damnitz, and socialites Colette Van den Thillart with sleek Ali Spencer-Churchill.
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Joel Gibb the baby diaper of the Hidden Cameras and Anna Muelter surprised me by taking me to lunch at this cute little cafe not far from my Rote Insel studio The Cheese Endique Trifecta. Joel gave me the complete skinny on his trip to Cuba and relayed hilarious stories about some German and Canadian sex tourists on the island scooping up mounds of Afro Cuban endowments.
After a photo session with Vanity Fair, who have joined the ranks of doing yet another Berlin ex-patriot story i was feeling frisky with a second windstrill and decided to go to Pork at Ficken 3000 which is also known as Frankenstein 5000. Porky host Tennessee Clafin (aka: Baby Brian), the famed ex-Mormen concubine to A-list directors Gus Van Sant and Bryan Singer was back in the United States so the supurb guest DJ tag team of teenage writing sensation Travis Jeppeson and his super hottie Slovakian lover Mario Dzurila took over. The place was packed with uninhibited nubile teenagers who really take to the clubs motto of drink, dance, strip and f*ck. The chicken hawks were in a feeding frenzy not able to focus with so much Jack Smithian over stimulation.
Later in the evening was a special set of super mixing by a punky Scandanavian DJ who also fronts a local band. I had a long lovely conversation with a cute young Italian artist named Pietro from Florence who just moved to Berlin, and a humpy Russian named Deemeetree whose card says “performance, video, music, schizophrenia, electricity”. The Russian youth had seen my performance at the Politics of Ecstasy Festival and loved how i handled the religious theme. In all Marilyn was getting moist being around such an eclectic assortment of children happy to be someplace with a raunchy spirit and raucaus vibe. I give an A+ to hooded Master Patrick as the guardian at the gate.

LIDSCHATTEN VERSCHMIERT
Invited to Anna Muelter´s lively 21st birthday soiree at the Austrian boite Ginos in Kreuzberg. Miss Anna Muelter is Berlin´s #1 go to production gal at the Hebbel Theatre, and one young lady that all of CHEAP depend upon. We first started working with her in 2007 with CHEAP Blacky, and now none of us can imagine life without her. Anna also works with superstar Peaches.
At the end of March i will be going to Zurich, Switzerland to collaborate with Bruce La Bruce and Susanna Sachsse to work on the male hysteria project Macho Family Romance, but before that Anna has been coordinating everything with the Jack Smith Live Film Festival curated by Ms. Sachsse and her boyfriend film historian Marc Siegel that will take place in two sections in the Spring and Fall at the Arsenal Institut für Film und Video Kunst and Hebbel Theatres. Helping Anna celebrate her birthday in high glam style at Ginos Southern German Cookery in Kreuzberg was handsome Israeli dancer Aasaf Hochman and his beautiful honeypot Alexander the Great of Macedonia, curatorial assistant Nadja Talmi, Forum Expanded´s Nanna Heidenreich with famed DJane Olga Damnitz, set designer Senol Senturk, filmmaker and musician Tim Blue, Daniel “Haji” Hendrickson, the sexy Ms. Sachsse, gorgeous Turkish artist Nevin Aladag and juicy art presenter Stefanie Wenner.
ARBEIT NERVT
Last Saturday sexy bubble butt Nanna Heidenreich decided to have a post birthday bash for the Doll Vaginal Davis at her spacious Bergmanstrasse graveyard compound. The food was mega delicious featuring roasted Chicken Tikka with two kinds of three cheese mashed potatos, carmelized onions and a gamey glitter salad. Of course the fancy French Champagne never stopped flowing. Getting down in helping to raise the dead: Tim Blue and his new LA fashion designer boyfriend Cornel Collins, Scandanavian Muslim Daniel Hendrickson, DJane Olga Damnitz with roommates Senol Senturk and Natasha of Persia, Nicole Wolfe´s demure Danish artist girlfriend Eline MacGeorge with her sweetie pie Irish pal, naked big peniled DJ Acme Singt, sculptor DeRohan Chabot with super hunky Israeli actor Liron Levo who used to be the beau of actress Natalie Portman.
INNI MER SYNGUR VITLEY SINGUR
Went to the premier of Alexander the Great of Macedonia´s new feature film The Logic of The Cat. The German/Greek co-production is amazing. Filmed on location in Athens during the student uprisings and features a young Greek Adonis with a penis bursting out of his skimpy underwear. The boy reminds me of a younger version of Greek filmmaker and curator Vassily Bourakis. Seen at the casual private screening: “It Girl” Anna Muelter, Assaf Hochman, the boyfriend of the director, French/German Julian, the directors best friend who is young, beautiful and very well hung, the films handsome director of photography and his pretty girlfriend, artiste Philippe Comtesse and an assortment of UDK bright young things.
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This Saturday i will be hosting the first Rising Stars, Falling Stars for 2009 with a screening of the Japanese film silent A Page of Madness from 1926. So tell all your Berlin pals to flock to The Arsenal Institut fur Film & Video Kunst this Saturday 10pm at the intimate Theatre 2 in Potsdamer Plotz at the Sony Center. After the screening la diva will host a wine and mood stabilizing drug reception in the Rote Foyer.

RUDERN FÜR EINE BESSERE ZUKUNFT
Said my tearful goodbye to Ulrich Ziemons, the Forum Expanded beauty boy who will be in New York working at Anthology Film Archive for three months.
Went to see the hilarious documentary Yes Men Save the World with Assaf Hochman and Alexander the Great at Kino Arsenal. The film was made by this gay prankster couple Andy Bichlbaum and Mike Bonanno who impersonate corporate entities as part of their political activist strategies. This was the perfect movie for a late Wednesday afternoon. The other day with Assaf i went to see the German film Alle Anderen(Everyone Else) by Maren Ade. The film was about a relationship between a plucky German girl and her dullard architect boyfriend, and i guess its supposed to mirror similar couples of the same generation living in Germany. The actress playing the woman Birgit Minchmayr won the Golden Bear for best actress, and it is easy to see why as she has a wonderful baby dyke manner about her that is breezy and winning. Still i didnt find the story that believable, though i can admit that a lot of straight German woman are more interesting then the men they fancy, but certain elements of this film just didnt ring true to me. On Monday with Daniel “Haji” Hendrickson i went to see the Hello, Dolly screening in 70milimeter. Babs Streisand was lovely with those long pearl colored nails of hers, but i found myself getting all hot and bothered by Danny Lochin, the young male ingenue who plays Barnaby, and is quite the athletic bubble butted blondine dancer, who is just too adorable for wordgobulins. Poor Danny died in 1977 at age 34, murdered by some psychopath who had developed a longing for Danny´s mega tight buttocks. In Hello, Dolly booty pie Danny is paired with a young E.J. Peaker. Does anyone out there remember her as the busty ditzy blonde in all those episodes of Love American Style in the early 1970s. What ever happened to her? She was also a regular guest on Matchgame and other 70s gameshows.
After seeing Alle Anderen with Assaf, he cooked me a nice dinner at his spacious Mitte flat. We were joined by his beau Alex and Anna Muelter. Sunday Anna took me to a delicious birthday breakfast off the canal in Kreuzeburg. Saturday Susanne Sachsse treated me to a birthday lunch at the lovely Austrian restaurant that is in the middle of Friedrichshain Park. We had a gorgeous girly day gossiping and having an all around hoot of a time. Suzi is so warm and generous. She also presented me with a unique silk scarf and an amazing pendant from a new boutique near her house called Freistil. Suzi has the best taste of anyone i know
After my birthday luncheon with Suzi i went to HAU 1 to catch Fight Club´s latest performance. Fight Club is the young theater group at the HAU. I adore my Fight Club kids and i love seeing them grow as performers. I even gave them the name Fight Club. The next day i had a photo shoot at my Cheese Endique Trifecta with the German Magazine Hugs & Kisses that was fun and went really well. I didn´t want to do a typical, literal drag queen photo. I think the resulting pics will be unusual and interesting.
ROTE LIPPEN FÜR DEN DANCE FLOOR
I finally got a chance to watch G.B Jones The Lollipop Generation, the film that has been18 years in the making and features an all star cast that includes Jena von Brücker, Mark Ewert, Calvin Johnson, Mitchell Watkins, Jane Danger, Joel Gibb and Andrew Cecil. My cameo scenes were filmed back in1992 Hollywood and i had a great, wild time doing them. Ms. Jones gave me ample space and opportunity to absorb her scenario so that i could just run amok, and do what i do best-mold dementia.
For those of you not familiar with the great artist Ms. G.B Jones, you should be ashamed of yourself, as she is a hero to millions and singlehandedly is responsible, and is the muse for the riot grrrrl movement, among many other influential movements of the last 25 years. In fact G.B. Jones creates new movements every 15 minutes. There would be no Bruce La Bruce without G.B. Jones as she is the geniustrata behind the heralded magazine JDs, and the feature film No Skin Off My Ass.
Lollipop Generation is bright, crunchy, and crystaline. Looking and feeling like no other movie in circulation these days. Once the YouTube generation gets a proper whiff of the G.B.Jones rawgma theory of cinema everyone will be jumping on the bandwagon.
In describing the film i can only say that it reminds me of Dawn:Portrait of a Teenage Runaway and its sequel Alexander:The Other Side of Dawn but without the TV movie cheese threadiness, and filtered through an early cinema sensibility similar to that of D.W. Griffiths short subjects starring the Gish Sisters but with a knockout sluggo musical score. The only film that comes close to Lollipop is the 1980 West German film Ok Ok Ok The Modern Dance by Christoph Dreher. Even normative film viewers who are only used to the Hollywood type of aesthetic will find themselves spellbound. That is why the flick is shattering box office records at all the film festivals it has been playing at. To see the Lollipop trailer and other G.B.Jones films and videos go to: www.youtube.com/GBJonesTown
Speaking of movies and stars. When i was in Madrid with Dr. Jose Munoz and Nao Bustamente, they gave me the latest hoedown about Lesbian icon Gwen Turner. The beautiful Ms. Turner who was one of the stars and writers of the cable TV hit nighttime soap The L-Word is involved in a sizzling relationship with singer Tracy Chapman. Squirrel Gwen, you climb that tree girl, and get your proverbial gnut!
Went to the Arsenal to see Meet Me In St. Louis MGM, 1944. I hadn´t seen it since the 1970s and was surprised that it wasnt that dated.
The performances of the ensemble cast that includes a marvelous Marjorie “Ma Kettle” Main as the no nonsense maid, a dapperly handsome Leon Ames as the family patriarch, and a brilliantly subdued performance from Mary Astor.
Poor Mary Astor, only 33 yet she looked matronly way before her time, and was forced to play mothers for the rest of her career after St. Louis. And of course i have to mention Judy Garland under the direction of über queen Vincente Minnelli. Judy is flawless. St. Louis holds up much better then Hello Dolly which came out in1970, both films are set around the turn of the last century.
The famous lights out seduction sequence featuring Ms. Garland and Miss Tom Drake is simply gorgeous. Judy was a wild hornpig in those days and loved boning ganymedes. She was righteously plucked that Drake wouldn´t lend her his penis. After all she was Metro´s biggest star and rightly expected her male co-stars to step up to the plate and fullfill their wifely duty. That was how Judy met her first husband at 18, the prissy composer David Rose. It is not commonly known, but Judy was sexually active at a very early age, and most of those daliances were with MGM´s contract homo chorus boys and bit players. As early as 14 Judy was proficient in shrimping, gurgling rimming and fisting. Garland was known as a hot buttery baracuda femme top, even working her itchy knuckles inside platonic girlfriends Lana Turner, Ann Rutherford and Ava Gardner. In St. Louis it was juicy seeing some of the looks of disdain Judy gives Fraulein Drake, who at the time was involved with ginger matinee idol Van Johnson, who died recently. Of course during the filming of MMIST she transfered her affections from young Drake to long-on-the tooth Lady Minnelli, and why not? He made her look ravishingly beautiful. So she married him, and even wrestled out some of his nelly splooge producing that spectacular piece of high faggot art Liza Minnelli.
I didnt remember MMIST being so subversive, but it is. In the Halloween sequence with Margaret O´Brian all the little boys are in full out sex drag, complete with feather boas, and all the kids talk of nothing but killing, torturing and maiming, it is quite unhinged. The crescendo being the implication that Drake(as Garlands boyfriend) has raped and beaten 5 year old O´Brian. Remember this is a WW2 era family film, a huge mega box office hit that inspired a slew of immitations from other Studios like 20th Century Fox´s Centenial Summer and Warners On Moonlight Bay. Hey you academics out there this should be your thesis.
KEIN FRESSEN FÜR DIE GEIER
Was looking at some photos from my first VD as VB performance at my old performance art club GIMP UnLtd that i did with Ron Athey back in 1999-2000. Came across one pic of cute young Adam Harvey of the band Timonium. Adam was so adorable and delicious. Adam is also the nephew of artist Carter Potter. When i first met him he was a big dicked teenager going to college at that hippy dippy school UC Santa Cruz and would come down to Silverlake with his band to performance at my crazy punk rock beer bust Club Sucker. He was straight and had a girlfriend, but that didnt last long. Soon he was in the restroom getting sucked off at Sucker just like all the other young indie rock boys. The last time i saw him was around 2003 with his beautiful Chicano bandmate also named Adam. AH had broken up with his Filipino boyfriend Mario, a nice middle class kid who had a good, high paying job and was financing Adam´s indie rock label. Adam told me he felt bad about breaking up with Mario especially as Mario had developed cancer. I felt sorry for that poor snow queen Mario, he was madly in love with strapping white boy Adam, but i could tell that Adam´s feeling werent completely reciprocal. I hope i never get all muschy over some boy, and start giving him my last dime. Well i don´t think i have to worry about that. Its never happened before so i doubt that suddenly i would become so smitten that i completely lose it over love. Besides no one can make a fool of love out of me, i dont even have a pot to piss in let alone a dime.