aller Anfang ist schwer

With the recent death of pop mariquita George Michael I was reminded of when I use to hang out with Kathy Jeung who was Michaels beard in the 1980s. Kathy was a fashion stylist with the Cloutier Agency and also did a club in the MacArthur Park area of Los Angeles called Flaming Colossos with these two very sexy French boys who I think were brothers, whose names I forget. The Frenchies were extremely delicious. Later in the late 80s or early 90s they opened up a chic restaurant in West Hollywood on Santa Monica Blvd that was the “It” place for a New York Secunda. Kathy and the French Brothers were somewhat infatuated with me and Glen Meadmore for a spell, and one time I was in her entourage along with Mz. Michael at a birthday celebration at Mario Tomayo's restaurant Cha Cha Cha. I also was invited for pampering at the Beverly Hills Health and Fitness Spa in Koreatown on Beverly Blvd. Why the place has Beverly Hills in the title I don't understand as Korea Town is located nowhere near Bev Hills. The spa is on top of a natural hot spring. I had heard of the place for years as a celebrity haunt but of course being that I wasn't ever gainfully employed in those days I could never afford to go there, but after performing many times at Flaming Colossos for free, Kathy and the French Bros. took pity on me and treated me. I think Kathy was related to the owners or perhaps Michele Lamy paid for it. Michele could be extremely generous, but anyway I got the royal red carpt that particular day, and thats more then a ghetto freeloader like myself can ever expect. The spa is divided by the sexes and for some unexplicable reason I was able to pass as a boy, so I went to that section with the French Bros and Mz. Michael. It was divoon getting my first massage from a handsome and perfectly musculed Korean masseuse named Hans who had me floating on air. I also got a kiwi facial, but would have loved it if Hans had given me a facial with his man milk.

In the dry sauna I watched the pop Princepessa Gorgeous George boldly pick out a swarthy hairy chested hunk and just get down on his knees and begin servicing the studkin in front of everyone. He was completely fearless and shameless, and this was years before he publically came out. La Michael hardly said a word to me during the few times we were in each others company. He wasn't rude, he just was indifferent. He didn't find me attractive so I didn't serve any purpose. He was that matter-of-fact, and I was strangely not put out by it and didn't feel dissed. I just wasn't his type of queen and that was that.

Well getting back to the BJ. GM must have had a velvet mouth because it didn't take long after he was bobbing on the giant peter and tweeking the mans bullet nips that the sexy gorgon was about to ejaculate and GM very casually and efficiently gulped down the seminal emissions making sure that the man was sufficiently drained, he then got up and went into the cold water pool followed by the wet sauna. This place is not a gay bathhouse but a place frequented by very upscale gays and straights, but nobody seemed to mind the celebrity spectacle that was performed so publically.

Years later Lenny of the Parlour Club treated me to this spa for my birthday and I saw John Travolta cruising around the joint, but the men were running away from him.

Afterwards we all regrouped and went out to Helenas or Paillette or some other trendy nitespot of the moment, and GM never mentioned what he had done, and I don't believe I even talked about it either at the time, which is strange as I am the ultimate gossipeuse and junior walking billboard.

All thiss twiss reminds me of a a very sexually captivating boy I use to know from the early 1980s named Mardell Lombar. Mardell was a hilljack from Ohio, meaning he was a dirt poor white kid from the mountain country region. He was around 5'10'' tall with light brown wavy hair, lean musculurture that was a combination dancer/swimmer bod though he didn't do any of these things. He had greyish blue eyes and full pillow lips that looked like he was wearing lipstick, but he wasn't. He had the flattest stomach I have ever seen, and big calves and thighs that looked like he could pull a mack truck with. His feet were big, thick and peasanty like Barney Rubble but were perfectly formed and manly. He also had huge hands like a baseball mitt. The weird thing about him is that even though he was so goodlooking he didn't photograph well.

I met him at the teen disco The Odyssey on Beverly Blvd and LaCienega. He worked part-time at the cafe on 3^rd Street that was connected to the notorious gay bathhouse the 8709. He lived in the Hollywood Hills with a 60 year old man who worked in the entertainment industry who was slavishly in love with him,but pretty much left him to his own devices. All Mardell had to do was occasionally fuck the old dude, so it wasn't such a bad trade off. Mardell was such a good natured boy, not naïve but just wildly free spirited and free wheeling. Through Mardell I could get into the 8709 and other bathhouses for free. I loved going to this famous bathhouse as it had some of the most spectacular pieces of male flesh on display. I had never seen such gigantic penises before and the level of sex play was seismic. Bathhouses are dull today in comparison to the 8709 and MACS(Mens Action Center) which was on Hyperion Avenue in Silverlake. This was in the early 1980s, so I was glad I got to experience them before they were all closed by the LA Health Department. Mardell was what is known as "the worlds type" and loved that I was a big voyeur and he got a kick out of showing off for me. 8709 had an area that was filled with bunk beds and mattresses that was out in the open and he would pick a lucky boy and go to town on the guy and of course would attract a huge crowd of men who wanted to watch and touch him and his trick. Mardell let any and all grab a feel of him. Some got carried away and started to munch on his butt, legs and feet and also chow down on his peen as it would occasionally plop out of his bottom. These sessions would just turn into a natural free-for-all with everyone giving Mardell complete utter worship. Its common for good looking well built young men to be utter assholes, but not Mardell who was very generous with his body though he knew his worth on the open market. Mardell was also unpredictably wild and a bit perverse. I saw him fuck many an olde queen just for the heck of it. Mardell's penis was large, thick and bulbous with apricot sized testicals that would slap the ass of his paramours causing a richochet sound that would quake through the sauna.  The closest I ever came to being intimate with Mardell was when he sucked my nipples once as more of a joke, as I played with his  dinosaur dick.  Once he gave me a deep soul kiss that almost caused me to faint.  He was that sexually electric. 

After 8709 and the cafe attached closed Mardell left his sugar daddy and moved back to Ohio and wound up getting married to a woman of all things. He was a most excellent pen pal and wrote to me about the many madcap sexual misadventures with his wife and the hillbilly antics of his small hometown. The last time I heard from him was in 1994 when he sent me a letter with pictures of him with his twin boys. He was in his late 30s by then but still attractive and trim.

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The last Rising Stars, Falling Stars for the troubled year of 2016 at silent green KulturQuartier was a fantastical success. Everyone needed a good hearty belly laugh and the Four Marx Brothers Groucho, Chico, Harpo and the gay one Zeppo eagerly provided the gaity with the 1931pre-code film Monkey Business.

Our program was also an early celebration of Chanukah, so appropriately I sang an old Chanukah song in Aramaic with a little bit of yiddish thrown in. Strange how this ancient ditty sounded so similar to one of my own original Cholita the Female Menudo songs, “Chinga Tu Madre”

I also told the crowd that The Four Marx Bros are the younger siblings of Karl Marx, and that Marx and Frederic Engels were lovers. Caught up in the Marxian madrigal Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Markus Ruff, Clarisse Mehring, Stefan Ehrens and posse, Marcuse Siegelstein, Susanne Sachsse, Trixie Schonherr aka: Beatrice Curdua,the divine Miss Jutta, a Berlin native who lived for many years in Paris who is one lovely and fashionable fan of our film series, Brazilian filmmaker and style icon Melissa Dullius, Johanna Schaffer, a new Berliner and Austrian queer-feminist scholar who teaches theorie und praxis for der visuellen kommunikation at Kunsthochschule Kassel, with 
her American translator pal Rik Mayda, both also work with RSFS's Daniel Hendrickson, the Jewish Muslim as part of the NSU tribunal 
translation project. Check out the website at: nsu-tribunal.de for more info on this very important organization that is keeping check on structural racism in Germany,sexy young David Schoeler who is an art student at UdK who use to work at Arsenal who came with a bevvy of beautiful ladies, B.J. Novak the nebishy American TV star of The Office, handsome violin virtuoso Charlie Siem, Piero Bellomo and exotic film actor Riz Ahmed. Special shoutout to silent green staffers. Nadine&Linda, the Moos Restaurant kids, Katrin the guardian of the gate and expert Arsenal projectionist BoDo.

Die perlen der Cleopatra

Was at the Arsenal for the Frank Capra retrospektacle seeing his prophetic 1948 film State of the Union starring Spencer Tracy, Katherine Hepburn, an incredible Angela Lansbury only 22 but looking and acting 42, Margaret Hamilton (Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz)and Adolphe Menjou. Its the only film Capra did distributed by MGM and it used mainly Metro stock players. You got to give a film its due when it begins with a suicide.

After I left Kino Arsenal I noticed the S-bahn was strangely packed with people which is odd for a Monday night at 10:30pm. Everyone at this time of year has gone back home to mama&papa for the holidays.

Received a frantic text message from my assistant Julian Scherer from when I was a guest professor at Goethe Universitaet asking me if I was at the Xmas Market. Being outdoors drinking cheap sweet warm wine in the winter chill is not exactly aesthetically pleasing to me.

I also received several emails and international phone calls asking if I was ok. It wasn't until I got back to the flat and turned on the radio to NPR Berlin that I found out about the horror that had actually occurred at The Gedaechtnis Kirche.

Der Fisch stinkt vom Kopf her

Knapp daneben ist ach vorbei

Forgot to mention that when I was at Music & Frieden seeing The Hidden Cameras ran into my olde Tenderloin kolleg Felix Knoke the journalist with Der Spiegel Online, who is now the proud papa of a five month old bouncy baby boy named Carlo Ponti.

Felix sent me a link to the lovesexxxy video of Teutonic Tom aka: Tom Wuehr or Tom Wu the happy-go-lovely Hidden Cameras drummer. The video is very polymorpheously perverse and I think you will get a kick out of it, i sure did:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYquF68nrQk

Went to Arsenal for their salute to legendary film director Frank Capra. Was so glad to see the film Lady for a Day starring 75 year old Australian actress May Robson who was nominated for an Oscar for her performance. Ms. Robson's portrayal is so fragile and tender. Also saw the 1961 remake called Pocketfull of Miracles starring Bette Davis, Glenn Ford and Hope Lange. Its not very good except for Peter Falk and for being the movie debut of Ann-Margret.

Thanks to all the well wishers who sent me congrats for having the Whitney Museum of Art in New York City buy pieces from my latest solo show “Come on Daughter Save Me” that was at Invisible-Exports Gallery last year at this time. Now I am just waiting to hopefully get paid$. Seems like I am always waiting for moula. Well thats the state of the world these days. Beggarinos can't be choosey. Was just talking about poor relations in an email exchange recently with the great Justin Vivian Bond. My relatives in the States have been gentrified out of South Central Los Angeles because of reverse white flight back into the inner city. My nephew and his two children ages 11 and 15 live in Lancaster in the mountains above LA and my niece and her 5 kids live in the high desert. If I didnt send them money every month they would be destitute and join yet another array of homeless families on the city streets. My great nephew who is 15 is doing very well in school. He goes to a prep school in Lancaster and made the Dean's list. My older sister emugs me that he is just like I was in my teenage years a complete bookworm living at the library.

Nicht jede Kuh laesst sich melken

When I was giving Hollywood film reviews a few columns back I neglected to mention that the wonderous actress Jeannie Berlin is featured in Woody Allen's latest flicker Cafe Society. What a grossepoint oversight that was on my part. Ms. Berlin is the daughter of comedienne and film director Elaine May, and Jeannie starred in May's brilliant 1972 film The Heartbreak Kid along with Charles Grodin and Cybil Shephard. Another one of her 1970s films Sheila Levine is Dead and Living in New York directed by Sidney J. Furie is a hoot of the period. She took a long repreive from acting but I am glad to welcome her back on the big screen.

Also forgot to give my womanly take on the latest Meryl Streep film Florence Foster Jenkins about the New York society maven and klipklack soprano. I have never been a part of the Streep cult. The only thing of hers that I've ever liked was a PBS film version of Wendy Wasserstein's Uncommon Women & Others from the late 1970s. Her co-star Hugh Grant continues to play his greatest role as Divine Browns bewildered Sloan Ranger sex partner. The real breakthrough in this film is dweeby Simon Helberg who was one of my former students ages ago, and is really divoon here. Mr. Helberg is already the ensemble star of some longrunning TV situation comedy where his talents are wasted in dumb TVland shtick. In Jenkins his prissy mannerisms convey everything of a proper fagula of the 1940s—think Billy DeWolfe crossed with Taylor Mead with an expressive protean Wally Cox facecal.

Baby Diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras invited me to his latest concert at Music & Frieden in the Wrangle Kiez. He was debuting his brilliantine new album Home on Native Land which is of the Lonesome Dove style thematically. His band members were also appropriately dressed matching Mr. Gibb in his Nudie rodeo tailored goldenen suit. The Honky Tonk Bisquit Queen, My Darling Clementine, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon spirit was permeating the venue and the Berlin audience a notoriously tough crowd were sighing and swooning to Gibbs Cimarron paced shit kicking hoedown.

Mr. Gibb was in fine voice,looking high wide and handsome in the matinee idol spotlight. I was very impressed with his banjo player a new arrival to Berlin from Nashville, and his high holy drummer Teutonic Tomas who is the most talented dynamic skin pounder on the seven planets with a radiant personality, a mighty sweet smelling bubble buttkiss, powerful muscles throbbing from his fingertips down to those sexy feet and twinkle toes.

Erst kommt das fressen, dann die moral

My darlings,

Was invited to the fabelshaft table of La Susanne Sachssee for one of her early winter feasts of the Magi. This one being in honor of sexy and ultra sophisticated Shai Heredia the filmmaker and festival director of the highly lauded Experimenta Festival of Bangalore. The gorgeous Ms. Heredia was in Berlin with her handsome ultra cool and sleek partner of the silky voice, the electronic musician Yashas Shetty. Also in attendance Daniel Hendrickson the Jewish Muzlim warrior translator to the shtars, Max Brauer the cute and cuddly Andy Kaufmanesque darsteller and bon vivant who will host his own eclectic evening at the Volksbuhner's Roter Salon, and everyone's rad party favourite Bruce“Judy”LaBruce who was in good form spilling all the proverbial “T” thats way too fart for the faint of heart. I love me some Canadian farmgirl lil Judy LaBruce.Yowza!

The next evening it was the return of CHEAP Funk on Reboot FM the radio program hosted by the amazing Diana McCarty. Joining CHEAP was Yashas Shetty as special guest who weaved his mercurial electronic musical magic live on the air. The night turned all non-sequitur with discussions and readings from and about Werner Schroeter via Susi Sachsse from Schroeter's nachruf fuer Maria Callas plus the dying diva propentittaly of Dalida,John Cage,Glen Meadmore and Kembra Phahler and her Voluptuous Horror of Karen Black album Black Date. And if that wasn't enough there was vissi d'arte and moi je vais mourir sur sce'ne.

I've been getting lots of email requests asking for more about the CHEAP PianoBar in Prague. Well below is the formal description of the piece we did as part of the Mezipatra Queer Film Festival.

Piano Bars are mainstays of gay and lesbian culture, historical places of musical refuge from a hostile outside world. They are like regular queer bars, but with an added bonus for the show-tunes-inclined among us: the chance to sing along to and distort popular songs with lovers, friends and intimate strangers all gathered together around the piano. CHEAP will distort not only songs, but the piano and the piano bar atmosphere itself, in this one night only performance and installation on the staircase in the smoker's area of the festival cafe. Come hang out with us. Drown your sorrows about queer culture in a glass of whiskey while humming along. Maybe we'll even play something you like. Probably not, but who cares, as long as we're kind of together. CHEAP art collective from Berlin has been making queer performances, installations, music, clubs, festivals, parties, videos and stuff for the past fifteen years. CHEAP Piano Bar will feature Vaginal Davis, Daniel Hendrickson, Susanne Sachsse and Marc Siegel.

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Those of you who are internationalists please rush to support Lia Gangitano the woman Suprema of Magical Arts and Sciences and founder of Participant Inc. Gallery the only not-for-profit art space left in New York City. We need Lia and what she brings to culture now more then ever as an antidote to the Gulag mentality that is sweeping the world and has now fully enveloped AmeriKKKa. Of course we always knew what was lurking in the stage door Johnny wings in goddessa foresaken US of A didn't we?

Friends,

This time last year, we felt grateful.

This year, it’s harder.

PARTICIPANT’s value system is modeled on another time, past or future – it’s hard to tell. Our new-ness is haunted by prior activisms, and necessitates longtime political imperatives to seek out new tools to create – and make claims to describe – alternative worlds.

To move forward with determination and urgency, we seek to redefine our gratitude.

We need survival tools.

Your commitment is meaningful.
Click Here to Donate

Looking forward to: of poetry / John Willie / Matt Keegan / Baseera Khan / Dash Snow / Pauline Boudry and Renate Lorenz / Glendalys Medina / Damien Echols and Jen DeNike / G.B. Jones and Paul P. / Narcissister / Lyle Ashton Harris

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Was able to spend a little girl-on-girl time with one of my oldest lady friends and collaborateurs the Mad Ms. Glen Meadmore. She was in Germany for two surprise shows in Liepzig and Berlin where she wowed the Burlesque frantic audience with her cowpunk antics at White Trash.

I love and adore this woman who at 6'8'' in her stalking feet is even taller then little womanly me who is miniscule at 6'6''. Ms. Meadmore's dayjob in LA is the limo driver to all the Hollywood Stars who love her and request her as their number one companion and driver of choice.

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Had a nice reunion recently with rocker dude Rasp Thorne. Mr. Thorne is an American musician who is now a British citizen and just moved to Berlin a few weeks ago. Before that he was living in London and was married to the famed Jewess Tatooess Marisa Karnisky.

That Canuckian wonder of big titty hasculinity Baby Diaper Joel Gibb and his band The Hidden Cameras will perform Wednesday Dec 7^th at 8pm at Music&Frieden in Berlin at: Falckensteiner Strasse 48

10997 in support of their new LP Home on Native Land. The big peniled Mr. Gibb is embracing his Home on the Range roots. I heard a preview of this material in the summer along with Alice Bag and its indeed impressive. Go to www.hiddencameras.com for more information.

Alles hat ein Ende nur die Wurst hat zwei

So sorry I have not kept up with the latest moving pictures coming out of LaDeeDaahland, but the Autumn is always my busiest season so I havent had time to go to many of the free screenings provided to me. Here is my truncated report on the films I did see:  Arrival starring dull Amy Adams, duller Jeremy ”Prone to Nuclear Mudslides” Renner and a lethargic Forrest Whittaker. I sure would like to get with one off those Heptapods and their tree trunk eggplants. Imagine exxxtraterrestrials who write in fancy Butcher Holler style caligraphy and speak with a Hippo, dub progressive house accent.

The Harry Potter franchise has gotten a wee bit more interesting with their new series Strange Beauties and Fickle Admirers which features a troubled queer teen played by lovely Ezra Miller whose tight little booty hole keeps getting teased and fingered by power top Colin Farrell. Manipulative Alpha Mr. Farrell, just wont plow the lovesick puppy which causes him to go homo-cidal deathrock. The main storyline featuring lesbianic cutiepie Eddie Redmayne is less interesting, but I sure got pleasure out of seeing actress Samantha Morton. Just wish they gave her more to do.

Woody Allen's Cafe Society starring pigeon chested hunchback beauty Jesse Eisenberg, and saaphic hotsy totsy Kirsten Stewart almost does a pop goes the weazel. Next time take young precious Mr. Eisenberg and plop him in the lead of an adaptation of Bud Schulberg's What Makes Sammy Run?

Got a chance to see my beautiful child of high art, the gifted and talented New York based artiste Jonathan Berger who was traveling through Europa with his wonderful parents.  Red hot Jons treated Fearless Leader of CHEAP Susanne Sachsse and I to a brilliant luncheon at Mokkabar in the Bergman Kiez of Kreuzberg. 

One of my dearest girlfriends, the insanely divine musical genius Glen Meadmore is doing some surprise shows in Germany. Thursday December 1st he will be in Leipzig at the Felsen Keller and Friday at White Trash in Berlin. You know what to do.

Also on Thursday there is a record release party at Monster Ronsons 7-11pm for the late Brian Tennessee Claflin of Pork fame and Snax. The EP consists of several tracks they recorded together. Baby Brian's musical persona was known as Prix. Its a hand painted limited edition release by curmudeony Slovakian designer Mario Drzilla. Bruce “Judy” La Bruce and novelist Travis Jeppesen will be some of the celebrity guest DJ's.

I didnt grow up celebrating Christmas, that Christian adopted Pagan holiday thats only purpose is to propel danger capitalism, but a lot of my fans enjoy sending me presents during the holidays and I love accepting them. I adore books, so feel free to send me any and all you come across. On my wish list is Party of the Century by Deborah Davis about Truman Capote's Black and White Masked Ball at the Plaza Hotel in 1966. With my LA hotspot Bricktops at the ParlourClub I did a riff off of The Black&White Masked Ball for New Year's Eve 2003 that was quite a major success featuring performances by Brian Grillo and his Grillo Follies with special guest star Mink Stole, the John Waters legend. The tribal media loons have started camping out in front of the CHEAP offices thinking its where I live.  Some American website trying to create a fake scandal wrote about my relationship with movie director Brett Ratner. Of coure this was years ago when he was just a nebishy Jewish horndog sniffing about my panties at Club Sucker at the Garage my Sunday afternoon punk rock beer bust/performance salaon.  It seems that Brett's business partner a rich Australian dude named James Packer is somehow connected to the new Trump administration.  Where i figure into it i have no ideal.  One thing i can say is that I predict the VP Elect Mike Pense will have Trump assassinated so that he can get all the power.  Mr. Pense is more evil then Dick Chaney.  Mark my words. Remember Vaginal Davis in Swahili means she who cannot lie and is always right.

Ideen Visualisieren

Before jetting of on Swiss Air to Zurich Switzerland to teach a series of Performance Art Workshops under the banner Framing The Freakazoid: Doing-By-Doing at the ZhdK – The Zurich University of the Arts I went to the fabelshaft birthday dinner party of decorative artist Michael Dute the Konig von Wilmersdorf with Fearless Leader of CHEAP Susi Su, Marcuse Siegelstein and Bruce”Judy”LaBruce. The liquor and food was forever flowing and the atmosphere divoon. Herr Dute divides his time between San Francisco and Berlin and his glorious flat is a testicular testament to his skills as an artiste extroidinaire. Walking through his exalted threshold you enter the majick of ancient China, Pompeii or eighteenth-century France. The apartment is a joy to behold with luscious murals and glam rococo-inspired wall panels. Michael's home also serves as a Gertrude Stein style salon to some of the most fascinating habitues of Berlin high society. I was enthralled with his lovesexy and sophisticated lady friends and dapper gentlemen callers. Scene and heard: DL Alvarez who is the old San Francisco buddy of Michael Dute', Brian McBride(Michael's boyfriend) Marc, Michael's friend and flat mate, Christoph a famed historian, Ida Mullerr the famed set & costume designer and performer, Jens the charming old school tante from Braunschweig who lives in Michael's building and works at Mr. B., Marta the LA born Berlin based artist who comes from Mexican film producing royalty and studied at Art Center with Buckminster Fuller and a the famed Hashish Baeckerin to the shtars known for her excellent psychedlic cakes and brownies.

Joining me in Switzerland was the Love Camel Andrea Novarin. I had taught several times before in the 1990s and early 2000s at the ZhdK. Of course then it was at a different location and under a different name. The school merged in 2008 or so with the School of Art and Design and the School of Music Drama and Dance, and is affiliated with the Museum of Design. Rosina Kuhn the famous portraiturist whose son Cyril Kuhn was one of my students when I tag team taught at California Institute of the Arts with Ron Athey had first brought me to the school when I was doing some gigs in Milano, Turin and Bologna in the mid 1990s. Its during this time I first met Love Camel. Another one of my former students from Cal Arts Bea Schlingelhoff who is now in charge of the art program at ZhdK, and would like me to come back next year and teach a performance art seminar. On this trip I was invited by dimunitive British scholar Ian Rodney Wooldridge who was fascilitating an MA Symposium that I took part in. Also invited was the Canuckian artist Steve Reinke, the beautiful young Brit James Richards who lives in Berlin, and reminds me of Mike Skinner of The Streets, the gorgeous soft spoken Tibisi artist Ramaya Tegegne, Paul Pieroni, Brigitte Daetwyler, and Hannah Black. I was shocked and surprised that there were so many people at my artist talk. Lots of cute young kids came up to me to ask questions during the wine reception after the talk. One 20 year old boy a juicy mulatto mix of Dominican and Austrian had a spectacular mane of light brown curly hair.

Love Camel and I were housed at the Rothaus Hotel a former bordello in the red light district. Its surprising that there is still a funky area in such a boutique city as Zurich. Back in 2007 when CHEAP Blacky played at the Gessner Allee Theatre we stayed at the Rothaus. The wonderful secretaire of the MA department Miss Claudia remembered me when Rosina Kuhn had brought me to the school back in the 90s. The tech director of the department was a hunky American fellow named Philip Matesic exuding dinosaur dicque energy and looked like a younger, more muscular version of the writer James Fry.

I was taken to a fab dinner of traditional Swiss food at the atmospheric Alpenrose boite. Ian, Steve and some of my male students were all going to an underwear party at some gay bar, but I was way too exhausted to join them.

Verrueckt Nach Fixi

When Orange is the New Black Fuck Island of Mann announced his run for office last year I think I was the only persona in Christendom who took him seriously. I was the first to say that I don't think he really wants to be President because there is too much actual work involved. Even the laziest of Presidents like horny hedonist Jack Kennedy, once they are in office wind up working their tailfeathers to the bone,and aging accordingly.

Everyones uncle mothers druther laughed and dismissed my queenly opinion that Mr. Orange Ruffy actually stood a good chance of winning the election. I hope I am proven wrong but don't forget who was it that predicted in this very blogina the financial crisis of 2008.

I appologize for neglecting my readers but the Fall Season is always my most active. CHEAP kollektiv along with fearless leader Susanane Sachsse, Marcuse Siegelstein and Daniel Nancy Hendrickson triumphed in Prague with the CHEAP Piano Bar performative installation at the Lucerne Theatre for the Mezipatra QFF. This year's Queer Festival theme was The Limits of Liberty.

Bringing the American concept of the piano bar to Prague was no easy feat, but with the exceptionally generous sponsorship of the

Goethe Institut Praha we accomplished the impossible. The centerpiece of the installation being the fractured placement of a baby grand piano on a staircase. The CHEAPy's served their own cocktails that referenced the Czech Film New Wave, gave out chem sex Anti-Marriage narcotics to the adventurous and even managed to subvert the eastern european nations radiant youth who wound up leaving a fancy dress ball dance recital to partake in the sexual shenanigans and anarchy instigated by CHEAP with help from Ethel Waters, The Carter Family, Phoebe Snow and the Liza Minnelli diet.

Special thankx to Bruce “Judy” LaBruce as our very special tired old queen celebrity guest. Judy was in top form in Prague looking fit and trim and inspiring all the childrens heads with Judyline witticisms as only she can. Judy was the Jury president of the festival and being the party negro that she is was also Djaning at the Off Limits soiree at the Chemistry Gallery. As a special event the festival had a sold out screening of Hustler White celebrating the films 20 year anniversary.

Lots of attractive young people were at the opening night festivities that included a screening of the Austrian film Tom Cat which won the Teddy Award at the Berlinale this year. I found the acting by the feline leads Moises and Katherina thrilling and highly emotive. And I am not exactly a big fan of cats. I guess the moral of the film is that if you are a bougie white couple experiencing male pattern lesbian domesticity don't kill your lovers kitty.

Special thanx to handsome and patrician Jakob Racek of the Goethe Institut Praha who really understands the madness that is CHEAP, and Jakob's wonderful colleagues Isabel and Monika.

Jakob recommended an incredible restaurant called Lokal which had the most exquisite Czech food. Lokal was not far from the Park Hotel where we were housed,

Another shoutout to Pavel Bicek the lovesexxy artistic director of the film festival and his glorious staff of tireless professionals who gave their all to the piano bar. Kissy kisses to Kristyna Henovsova of OffProgram/Off Mezipatra, Jiri, Martin and our ninja security detail headed by Frantz, make-up artistes Jan Janout, Simona Sebikova' who made Susanne and I look like living dreamas, Veronika Koty Kova' who styled my wig in a dramatic Betty Page Pachuca coif.

Received several emugs from people who attended the 4 hour endurance installation of the CHEAP Piano Bar who wanted to know about the insane films that we screened during the evening.The anti-marriage PSA's were made by our very own Fearless Leader Susanne Sachsse, we also showed Hans Scheirl and Ursula Puerrer's Super 8 Girl Games, Pierre Yves Clouin's Cul en l'air, Alicija Zebrowska's The Mystery is Looking, Buddy Cole's Gay Marriage Clip featuring a cameo by Bruce “Judy”LaBruce from Kids in the Hall, “Taking a Chance on Love” number from the 1943 all-black Cabin in the Sky film by Vincente Minnelli and the CHEAPy Underground Uber Alles Award went to the late Vera Chytilova'.

Before going to Prague to do CHEAP Piano Bar I was invited to Hochschule fuer Gestaltung Offenbach Fachbereich Kunst to lecture and give a workshop. Over 300 people crammed into a tiny lecture hall to hear my talk which really surprised me. The wonderful Juliane Rebentisch had been wanting to bring me to Offenbach for some time and it finally worked out. A student group that Juliane is advisor to pulled out all the stops in making me feel very welcome on campus and the students in my workshop scored major homeruns in inventiveness and focus. Special thankx to Arootin Mirzakhani, Anne Graefe and Brenda Lien for making my time in Offenbach so rewarding and fun.

I made a special appearance at the great Hannah Hurtzigs Mobile Academy/Black Market Event at Hamburg's Kampnagel as well. Hannah is one of Germany's hardest working curators and an art innovator par excellance. I first met Hannah back in 2001 in Berlin when she was at the Volksbuhner and I did my piece Sucking Her UnBorn Cock as part of the Rich and Famous Festival at Prater. From the moment I met Hannah I loved her spirit, humour and style.

I've been a special guest at the Mobile Academy at least four times and its always a wonderful experience because like me Hannah is all about the details.

Juicy kissolas to Hannah and her Blk Market Staff of Kyra, Lea, Sarah Lewis of the famous Lewis clan and my handsome film student assistant Maxmillian who was perfect in every way.

***

Wanted desperately before the election results to tell you what it was like being in Washington DC on the Elmer Occasion of being invited as a keynote presenter at the Creative Time Summit Occupy the Future.

After last year's New York triumph of The Magic Flute and my solo art exhibition Come on Daughter Save Me at Invisible-Exports Gallery I experienced a bonafide New York moment with accolades in the press-New York Times, New Yorker Magazine, Art Forum etc. I remember a time when back in LA in the 1980s the Los Angeles Times would only refer to me as V. Davis if I was mentioned at all. It wasn't until I received my first press in the NY Times in the early 1990s concerning my zine Fertile LaToyah Jackson and the zine movement itself which became this phenomena that the mainstream media decided to run with as a so called predicted “next big thing”

Then the lovely Hilton Als wrote a sweet review and profile off me in the New Yorker in 1991 after I did a packed spoken word reading at the old Different Light Bookstore in Greenich Village. Getting so much press in NYC and in Europe at that time my own daily newspaper the LA Times couldn't ignore me anymore and started to print my full name of Vaginal Davis. So I am use to the follow the leader mentality.

After last years success with my the CHEAP kollektiv version of The Magic Flute I was barraged with invites to perform and also calls from tired Hollywood TV and movie people. I had never heard of Creative Time before, so when their creative director Nato Thompson contacted me I asked my former student Jonathan Berger who is a child of New York high art about Creative Time and he gave me the A-OK. I've always been suspicious of institutions and those who work for them. People from good families always wind up in these gatekeeper positions. None of us pure folk ever get to sit at these tables.

Which reminds me when I went to the poovah prep school Choate on scholarship, it was my first encounter with the immaculate children of WASP wealth. Getting to know the kids from the great families of the East I was surprised at how forlorn and unloved they were. Talk about family damage. It softened my disdain somewhat of the rich as I realized being a welfare child, I was much better off then most of them were. No one expected anything from me, so being an overachiever in the gifted program in the LA Unified School District led to my going to a fancy prep school with elites and also being the first one in my family at University. Even though I am still poor, and still live hand-to-mouth, at least I don't have to work a day job as a wage slave, and I get invited to art festivals all over the world where I am fussed over and pampered. This ghetto child has certainly come a long way.

Arriving at Dulles Airport on an unseasonably warm Autumn afternoon the lovely Creative Time intern Thandowethu Miambo, a recent Barnard graduate from Africa was there to whisk this little lady D to her spacious suite at the Hilton Homewood in the city center just blocks away from the White House. For a mansion the White House is surprisingly tiny.

Pretty and stylish Thando took me to the opening nite celebration and kick off party at Blind Whino which reminded me of the Womens Building in the Mission District of San Francisco where I performed in the 90s at the Dirty Bird Festival.

After getting off of a long planeride I am always starving, and gorgeous summit coordinator Teal Baskerville treated me to a sumpteous meal courtesy of a Food Truck parked outside the soiree grounds.

Grub down my gullet, white wine and a cornucopia of man candy of all shapes, sizes and ethnicities put a Jack Pumpkinhead grin on my giantessa face.

The olde hairy eyeball was popping in the car ride to the party getting to sit next to hot and lovesexy Henry Arteaga of the JKE Crew Peligrosos of Medellin,Columbia and his very beautiful, sweet translator Vanessa Cuervo. I sure would love to haunt Henry's HipHop School. Shaking his muscular hand reminded me of my That Fertile Feelings co-star Johnny Dark another Columbian tiny in stature but muscular with a huge penis filled with delicious leche fresca.

Entertainment at the party was provided by Michelle Blackwell and the GoGo Allstars. Was sweet to see all the children including the juicy Creative Time interns Karin Shankar, Jonathan Gardenshire and Alice Ecceles enjoying themselves on the dancefloor.

Didn't want to be a party pooper scooper but I needed to get back to my hotel room and wait for Hector Martinez the Swedish Mexican Insurance executive to arrive. So sweet of Hector to take time from his busy schedulina to come and help me at the summit. I also needed to try and get some sleep so that I'd be somewhat fresh for the first day of festivities.

Woke up at 4am mega jet lagged. Little later went down to the complimentary breakfast with Hector. The food was actually pretty good as most American places have crappy free breakfasts unlike the excellent ones that are standard in Europa. The only bad thing was the coffee that tasted like a brown melted crayon in hot water. So wonderous catching up on all the Silverlake 40 gossip with Hector. It felt good having Hector here as my backup singer and personal Ninja bodyguard. Hector was in the Marinecore during his youth so he can kill with his bare hands. Lovely English Rose Lady Alice came to fetch this Dollybird at 7:45am. Lady Alice is a recent Yale grad, very stylish and Sloan Rangery. My performance wouldn't be till Saturday but I came to the theatre a day early so that I could do a soundcheck at the Lincoln Theatre where the summit would take place. The Lincoln is a historic TOBA(Tough on Black Asses) vaudeville circuit theatre built in 1922 in the olde Negro Quartier which is now a gentrified area of the city. Everything was crazed for the first day so I didn't get a chance to sound check or do a run through. Met Nato Thompson who is a cute, dimunitive man with a Sponge Bob Square Pants accent that I found very sweet and charming. He comes from activist circles I gather, and seems quite sincere and excitable. On stage he mentioned he was married with a child, but I think he has a little sugar in his tank. I also met Katie Hollander the patrician Executive Director of Creative Time and Sally Szwed the no nonsense summit director. The stage set was created by the Floating Lab Collective, and I was delighted that it would match my Rick Owens couture Etruscan gown and shoes.

Section One of the first day was under the theme of Occupy Power.

The first keynote speaker was supposed to be Haneen Zoabi the Palestinian politician who made history in 2009 when she became the first Arab woman to be elected to Israel's parliament the Knesset. Ms. Zoabi couldn't make it so she sent an enchanting young Palestinian woman Layla Ashayear to read a statement for her. It was a nice way to begin the summit and change the status quo narrative.

Jonas Staal was supposed to give a talk and a workshop at the summit, but was denied a visa to the USA because of his work with Syrian Kurds. Peter Svarzbein, the attractive pepperpot Jewish/ Latino artist, curator and media disrupter was the standout in the Occupy Power section with his presentation on the El Paso Transnational Trolley Project. Mr. Svarzbein warmed my heart because he put his penis were his mouth is and ran for city counsel and won, receiving a 97 million state grant for an intra city trolley route using the original street cars than ran between El Paso and Juarez.

The British art collective Liberate Tate presented how they managed to divest the museum from receiving corporate funding through the evil British Pertroleum Corporation.

Journal Rappe two Senegal rappers who created a news program done entirely in rap verse. After watching the dullard news programs on American TV in my hotel room, switching to a rap format would be a welcome relief.

There was also a report from Syria by Radio Souriali, but the jet lag started rearing its fugly head and my notes came out a jumbled mess. I picked up some examples of digestable satire from The Great Tortilla Conspiracy to bring home as presents. My Rick Owens gown needed some repairing that Hector helped take care of for me thank god, and he treated me to a wonderful luncheon at Mulebone a healthy soul food boite that reminded me of a more upscale version of LA's Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles. Loved the décor of murals depicting Black Renaissance writer Zora Neal Hurston whose image I used on the text of my presentation. Hector and I went back to the hotel to take a disco nap for the remaining part of the summit but because of our jet lag we didn't wake up till everything was over which was just as well as I needed to concentrate on being ready for my performance which was bright and early the next day as part of the Queer and Now Section.

I still didn't get a proper soundcheck, and was thrown off a bit when the tech people bungled my soundscape but it didn't matter so much as my visual details were strong and I looked good on stage. I felt a little unsure about being my sections fascilitator but it actually turned out really well as the questions I asked were more playful in nature as I didn't feel like making direct comments on their presentation as that would be too reductive. I had never heard of artist Andrea Bowers who has lived in Los Angeles since 1990 originally from Ohio. She is quite beautiful and we are of the same generation so we got along like old girlfriends. Ryan Hammond is a youthful artist whose work explores the interplay between culture and biology and is very personable. Sheldon Scott is an engaging local Washingtonian who reminded me of a young Brian Freeman of Afro Pomo Homo.

Patricia Ariza the co-founder and director of Teatro La Candelaria and of Corporacion Columbiana de Teatro is the pure embodiment of the Cholita song Essays de la Mujer. She gave a rousing manifesto presentation that had the audience in complete solidarity with her.

I was so happy to be finished so that I could see the rest of the program. Undressing made me miss the Report From Ukraine by Anna Hutsol (Femen). But I did catch the hilarious Janani Balasubramanian who is a cute energetic socio pathic scientist dealing in quantum physics under the helm of The Case of Nonsens

The summit was celebrating the 100 year anniversary of DaDa and so the Austrian kollektiv Gelitin were just beyond perfect singing nonsense Gregorian chants wearing stunning Leigh Boweryesque costumes with a film of the kollektiv members plowing their own ceramic sculptures with their big dicque thickeruses. The audience didn't exactly know how to process Gelitin, I think that some were disturbed by it but in a good way and those who got it really got it! It was nice having some people from my own weird scene representing in DC. This was only my second time in the state capital, and I love the city and its very attractive denizens.

It was great meeting in person Kenneth Tin-Kin Hung who is simply gorgeous. He could be a movie star with his handsome face and muscular, fit body. I would love to give him a tongue bath. Kenneth has even collaborated with CHEAP Kollektiv on some early CHEAP projects like Global Capitalism at the opening of HAU as a new theatre institution. Kenneth came to the attention of CHEAP through the Blue Bros Tim & kJohnny. When kJohnny lived in New York he worked quite often with the amazing Mr. Hung who I am sure is the living embodiment of his name. His presentation at the summit called Shit Wars was pure ribald genius.

The highlight of Day Two for me had to be Melissa Mays Report From Flint Michigan(Water You Fighting For). Melissa reminded me of my mother who in the late 60s when we lived in South Central LA started the first urban gardens by taking over all these vacant lots and planting fruit and vegetables to feed the poor people in our neighborhood. Direct action with no frills thats what I find the most engaging way of being an activist.

I also loved Thomas Frank and the legendary Carrie Mae Weems who were playfully combative during the Troubled Democracy section. Ms. Weems wasn't featuring the tech peoples gaffes.

Hector and I went to the Corcoran Gallery for the closing night party and had a really nice time chittle chatting, but since I remained jet lagged during the entire time I was in DC I was glad to get back to the hotel room and the comfort of my large bed.

The Creative Time Summit is a lovely art and political congress. A lot of work went into producing it and the results were splendid. In the future I think they should let some presentations be a little bit longer like an hour for keynote and 20 minutes for the mini talks. And time for proper sound checks and or rehearsals need to be allocated. It would be difficult under the current structure, but I think they should strive to find a way to make that happen. Well thats my 22cents.

Pump macht stark

French supershtar Alain Delon's 22 year old fashion model son Alain Fabien accompanied Jewish Muzlim Daniel Hendrickson and I to the anime art installation Delete Beach at HAU 3. Delete Beach is by the British video art joy Phil Collins and is part of the HAU's festival Die Asthetik des Widerstandis-Peter Weiss 100. I adore Mr. Phil Collins. He is a Good Time Sally of the highest order. 

Delete Beach reminded me of the 1960s Japanese cartoon The Amazing Three. A3 tells the tale of three aliens who come to earth to destroy all humankind and save the universe from menace. A3 are disguised as a bunny, a duck and a horse, and wind up in sexy shenanigans with a juicy teenage farm boy.

For all you Washington DC Vagimulic fans out there, the doll will be the keynote speaker at the Creative Time Summit-Occupy the Future. Lady Davis hasn't been in DC since 2001 when she was on a 50 city tour with Margaret Cho. Back then the nations capital was very sleazy. Don't know what to expect on this trip. Ms. Davis will headline the queer section of the congress that also features LA based artist Andrea Bowers, South American poet Patricia Ariza, Ryan Hammond and Sheldon Scott. Also taking part in the three day festival Ian McKaye of Fuguzi and Minor Threat fame, the Austrian performance kollektiv Gelitin and Alicia Garza of Black Lives Matter. My original gangster pal Hector Martinez from Edendale via Southgate and Watts will come out to support his stinky lady and will certainly madd dogg anyone who gets on my last raw nerve. I wonder if Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, who in his frat boy premature ejaculating youth was a major hornpig chaser of my ilk of ladies will be in attendance?

Erloesung

I thought that when I moved away from Los Angeles to Berlin over ten years ago, I would stop getting offers from TV and movie people for work in the awful mainstream entertainment industry. Its hysterical that they still contact my live art agent in London Andrea Novarin or my Berlin assistant Gleeson Brevard. They find it hard to believe that someone is not interested in their wicked system of things.  Some guy name Bryan Lourd tracked me down at my last Rising Stars, Falling Stars performative screening at silent green KulturQuartier.  All these fasttalking showbiz careerist types are a scream.

Some of the British tabloids have been writing about my having an affair with the cute little Brit actor/dancer Jamie Bell.  That is preposterous as I am old enough to be his great grandmother.  Another tabloid linked me with Gabriel Kane Day Lewis the son of Daniel Day Lewis and Isabelle Adjani.  Gabriel is a model and is barely out of his teens, so no I am NOT having sex with him.  I barely even know him as he is friends with one of my former students who is a fashion model.  

Fearless leader of CHEAP kollektiv Susanne Sachsse and Marcuse Siegelstein invited Jewish Muzlim Daniel Hendrickson and I for drinks at this cute little Potsdamer Strasse pub called Victoria Bar.  I had a great time drinking and gossiping about who has drop kicked whom, and we also talked about the recent death of horror director Hershel Gordon Lewis.  I was even in a shortlived band in the 1980s called Gore Gore Girls named after one of his films.  I also heard that Suzan Straus the famous Lava Lady of the LaBrea/Melrose corridor died age 86.  I first met Suzan in the early 1980s when she would shop at Retail Slut on Melrose Avenue where I worked and did the window displays. Ms. Strauss was a Los Angeles style original in her rocket platform shoes, burlap twin set outfits and phallus hair bun.  She lived in a modest  Hancock Park adjacent  home that was covered in lava rock. After i moved to Germany I heard she moved to Palm Beach Florida to be near her grown children or something to that affect.  I am sure the awful state of Florida could never appreciate someone with such an eccentric style and serene demeanor.

Heard that the beloved thrasher skater champion Brian "Better Youth" Anderson came out of the closet as a "gay".  I remember him when he was just a hot, humpy, big stinky feet kid in the 90s,  I never figured BA for a fagula, but he would come to my afternoon punk rock beer bust Club Sucker at the Garage in Silverlake with Hollywood's favorite horndog Orion "Wiley E. Coyote" Dailey.  And Wiley was notorious for bagging cute skater boys with his job working for Goldenvoice the punk touring and promotions company.  Goldenvoice is now pretty mainstream in that they produce that big moneymaking machine known as Coachella Music Festival.  I wonder if Wiley still works for Goldenvoice.  I loved that Wiley who was always surrounded by the most delectable of cute punk, skater and surf rats.  Rick van Sant who i knew from the Screamer days died several years ago and the founder of  Goldenvoice Gary Tovar got busted about 25 years ago for his mota empire.

Oh let me stop getting all nostalgic.

Bin ich ein Dandy?

Was sad to hear of the recent death of Alexis Arquette, of the famed Hollywood acting dynasty. Alexis' best film role was in Last Exit to Brooklyn. I first met Alexis when he was a weenager. I sold him his first wig at Retail Slut on Melrose Avenue in the early 1980s. In the late 80s he performed as Eva Destruction at my monthly Cafe Hag at Cafe Kafka a Czech boite on Sunset Blvd near KNX Radio and TV Studio. Cafe Hag was the first time I attempted a 1920s style club with a continuous floor show. The last time I encountered Alexis was when he came to the opening of my Bricktops at the Parlour Club in 2002 brilliantly dressed like a high society dowager ala Marie Dressler or Margret Dumont.

Its now Autumn, which means no more warm evenings and how are things in Glacamora devil moons. I will miss hanging out at the Tiergarten with sexpert philosopher kings Daniel Tarrantino of the Humboldt Universitaet and Leon die Gottlieb, who is the most religious horn pig I have ever encountered in my life. Last time I rode my bike through the park I had a lovely flirtation with a gorgeous 25 year old blondine Polish hunk who had huge hands, feet and Jimmy Durante style schnazola.

CHEAP Funk on Re-booty FM/Kotti FM 99.1 September 10^th with Diana McCarty was a hoot and a half. Our theme was Violence Girl in celebration of Alice Bag. CHEAP Fearless leader Susi read from Alice's book and I played the “He's So Sorry” track from her self-titled LP Alice Bag. Djane Nancy gave a call-in Violence Girl Istanbul report. Part 2 of CHEAP Funk will take place Saturday Sept 24^th at 9pm with the theme International Sissies. So please check it out.

If you're in Hamburg October 21^st. I will be one of the experts making an appearance at Hannah Hurtzig's famed Blackmarket for Useful Knowledge No 19 called “The Extroidinary Ordinary” at the Kampnagel. Admission is FREE

October 14-16 I will be in Washington DC for the Creative Time Art and Political Summit whose theme this year is Occupy the Future at the Lincoln Theatre. For more info go to creativetime.org/summit

Unhuebsch

So glad I got to spend a little more quality time with a dear friend and colleague, the great Alice Bag of the legendary early LA punk originators The Bags. Besides being lead singer and founder of the Bags, Alice was the high holy priestess of early goth outfit Castration Squad, new wave hooker trio Cambridge Apostles, Chicana folksters Las Tres and my co-conspirator of Cholita the Female Menudo and The Afro Sisters. I could rally off a long list of other Bag accomplishments and music projects as she is quite prolific. I was just so appreciative that she came back through Berlin after a holiday in the right wing Republic of Hungary with her husband Jailbait Velasquez. Miss Alice was going to spend a few more days in the German capital with me, but she had to cut short her trip as her father-in-law was in critical condition back in the States. We were able to enjoy a spirited evening together at the Prachtwerk in NeuKolln during the Neukolln Art and Music Festival seeing Baby Diaper of the Hidden Cameras Joel Gibb perform a solo semi acoustic set of his new country flavoured material. The tight assed,muscular Canuck was donning a Nudie inspired goldenen suit just to add a bit more GeorgeJonesianess to the proceedings which the packed house of devotees appreciated. Thankx Diaper for putting us on your pest list.

Sunday Sept 4^th was the second installment of Rising Stars, Falling Stars – Sweet 16 millimeter at silent green Kulturquartier in Wedding.

The sudden summer downpour didn't dampen anyone's spirits in the domed Cupola to watch the rare screening of the 1976 Martha Coolidge film Not a Pretty Picture. Picture combines fictive and docudrama mashings to tell the story of Martha Coolidge's date rape at age16 in boarding school. The young actress playing Martha at 16 was also date raped in a similar fashion while in high school, and her boyfriend plays the rapist which adds another dimension to the film. One of Miss Coolidge's friends from boarding school plays herself even though its obvious she is a grown woman, so there is yet another layer after layer in a film that is still timely as we continue to live in what I consider a rape culture. The discussions after the screening were quite lively if not a bit somber in mood. Joining Arsenal Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Jewish Muzlim Daniel Hendrickson and Arsenal's sensitive projectionist Olaf were Bettina & Jorg, Afrah Bayan of silent green, Anna Muelter the delightful dance curator of The Sophiensaler, recently back from Iran, Lovesexy Hannah Hurtzig of Mobile Academy where I will be performing in October at the Kampnagel,Hamburg, “It” girl Nanna Heidenreich and gal pal, Brazilian film couple Melissa Dullius and Gustavo Jahn,artist Maggie Schneider, my top student from Malmo Art Akademy Maria Norrman,Lea Schneidermann and girlfriend Arnita Jaunsubrena who were my talented students at Justus Liebig Universitaet Giessen back in 2014 Summer Framing the Freakazoid-Doing-By-Doing Seminar, Lisa Teasley's charming German fiance Daniel Dermitzel,scholar Joanna Schaefer, Facebook executive David Marcus scoping out the Berlin scene for god knows what nefarious purpose, the enchanting Ricke Merighi of Queer Lisboa and girlfriend Vera with posse, film scholar Marcuse Siegelstein, who writes the best CHEAP missives to the mailing list, fearless leader of CHEAP and RSFS fervent supporter Susanne Sachsse and a plethora of her dearest friends and acquaintances including the brilliant theatre director/set and costume designer Ida Mueller, Michael Duté, the König von Wilmersdorf, who is a fascinating painter,his boyfriend Robert (I think that's his name), who's the son of a famous photographer, Little Marc, visiting from San Francisco,Christoph,the Magnificent German historian and mathematician,James from Mendocino County wine country, who used to teach Sociology and Trans Theory at the University of California at San Francisco (UCSF) and was a go-go dancer at the old Christian Farrow/April LaRue nitesport Bitter End in Hollywood.

I also remember Boy James as a regular at such notorious 1980s underground haunts as Fake Club, Plastic Passion, Dirt Box, Rhythm Lounge, Nairobi Room and Power Tools.

James even remembered every detail of SPEW 2-The Homographic Convergence at Los Angeles Contemporary Exhibitions where he saw an early Cholita! Performance.

If that isn't enough I even shrimped Boy James' big feet at my Bay Area oneoff Natural Born Shrimpers(subtitle: Aunt Jemima Lite and HotSauce) in the early 90s with Joan Jett Blakkk.

Also scene & herd: everyone's fav lesbiana Paula, an old friend of Pia Thilman from the Drag Kingz of Berlin days, beautiful guardian of the gate Richard Gabriel, handsome tall Afro Brazilian/Brit actor Alfred Enoch(How To Get Away With Murder) with his fellow UK musical bubble butt beau Jake Bugg, and Manuel Schubert aka Vicki Baum of taz, die tageszeitung whose pod cast love it or hate it you can listen to and share here:

http://tinyurl.com/rsfs201609not

Verguckt

Before spiriting off to Prague with CHEAP, one of my dearest, oldest girlfriends from the old days Ms. Alice Bag came to Berlina to visit lil olde nelly me.

I've known Missy Alice aka Alicia Armandariz Velasquez before the rains of Ranchipur and floods of Gegamesch. The queen of LA punk rock and her young mega chorizo husband Jailbait took a pitstop in Berlin before their major holiday in Budapest. Its been over ten years since we've last seen each other, but we easily picked up where we left off. Alice or Sad Girl her name in our band Cholita, the Female Menudo, looks healthy and very beautiful with her hair in a bright pink bob.

She came bearing gifts of the Magi in the form of her new self titled LP which I can't wait to add to my playlist when I Djane at events. The record was 40 years in the making as Alice has never put out a formal release in her 4 decades long career as a pioneering feminist musician and artiste extroidinaire. Hard to believe but true.

I love how Alice keeps herself current with connections with younger musicians and students mentoring at college & universities throughout the U.S. She also brought me a plethora of new generation zines with titles like Pizza Face, The Undesirable Black Girl, Trans Lives Matter, Post-Depression Blues, Mala, I'm a Trap Girl, Noche de Jotiar and the self esteem and body issue pictoral by one of my most gifted LA children now all grown up into a lovesexy young man and creative juggernaut Rudy Bleu. Alice also gave me a copy of Rudy's beyond genius Chicano pinga y nalgas mix tape Sancho Saturday Night. Orale Mijo!

Alice y Jailbait will come back through Berlin after Budapest, so hopefully we can spend more time with each other catching up on every little thing like her tour of the USA.

The next morning I was in a good mood and off to Prague with CHEAP fearless leader Susanne Sachsse and Marcuse Siegelstein on what must have been one of the hottest days of the year. The four hour train ride was smooth, and I simply adored the mid century Communista Park Hotel where all the party leaders would host their whorgies.

Handsome highcheekboned Jacob of the Goethe Institut Praha picked us up from the hotel promptly at noon and took us to a festive luncheon at the cute traditional food cafe Potrefena Husa. I had been told that the food in Prague wasn't very good, but we all liked what was put before us scarfing it down with abandonment. We weren't staying in the touristy section of the city, but in an area that was outside of the olde town and was pretty empty as the locals hightail it to their summer cabins. Jacob took us to an old amusement park that was pure carny heaven like in the 1978 film starring Jodie Foster and Gary Busey. I even braved the rickity analog funhaus and dangerous bumber cars, that have no padding so when you collide its immediate trauma for your knees and neck. There was no way I was getting on the roller coaster which I didn't think could handle my enormous two tons of fun. It was nice to be able to do something other then just work, but since we weren't on holiday we did go straight into workmode meeting with Pavel Bicek the young director of the Mezipatra Queer Film Festival and his charming crew to check out the space at the oppulent Lucerna Theatre. Because of the hot weather I found myself melting away while we were being escorted around town looking at site specific locations. I was starving by the time Jacob took us to dinner at the delightful Peperoncino Restaurant where we sat in the expansive garden. Joining us for dindin was Adam Budak the head curator of the National Gallery. Adam has been a CHEAP supporter for over a decade having brought CHEAP to Poland back in 2003. It was lovely having a reunion with him and enjoying a Czech feast.

Poor Fearless Leader Susi was suffering from a summer cold, but she didn't let that detract or derail her. She is the ultimate trooper. We also enjoyed a delightful meal at a small boite near the hotel called U Zlatych Rucicek Restaurant. Adam gave Marcuse and I a private tour of the giant National Gallery which is across the street from our hotel housed in what had once been a Roaring 20s Dept Store. The National Gallery boasts one of the oldest collections in the world as we went through what seemed like endless gorgeous rooms and mind altering artworks. Adam is a former student of Douglas Crimp so he has so much enthusiasm and joy as he talks about his curatorial vision for the museum. He also gifted us with a copy of Generosity-The Art of Giving a thick coffee table art book released in conjunction with the museums 220^th anniversary. Adam and Michaela Pejcochova being the books editors.

Leaving Prague was difficult. It was my first visit and I was mesmerized by all that eye candy on the streets in the form of attractive young tourists from all over the world dressed in their skanties because of the hot temps. Plus the sheer beauty of the ancient city.

The train back to Berlin seemed to take forever. The air conditioning kept going out and the wagons were packed with people standing throughout. Thank Goddess Freya we had reserved seats.

Kisses to Jacob, Adam, Pavel & Company for all the langorous hospitality.

Irrlichter

When you've existed for centuries mentoring naturally comes with the territory. When I was teaching in Berlin back in 2007 at the Weissensee Art Akademy I met a scrappy 21 year old blondine boy from France who just warmed my heart with his wild enthusiasm for living life as a mobiliac artfraction. That youth with the aristocratic forbearing was named Christophe DeRohan Chabot and now he has his first solo exhibition at the marvelously forward commercial Berlin gallery space This is Exile.

The installation on view is sublime in its minimalist splendour, the carefully placed and balanced naruda in the darkened space is meditative and distruptive at the same time, something like the cosmos of the artist who is not the child barely out of his teens anymore but a grown man of 30 approaching his Jesus Christos Christie Himmelfahrt. The brilliance that I first saw in my Make Art or Die seminar has now come to roost. Call it genius, call it phat and f*cked up, but call it you will Mortimer.

You only have till September 3^rd to see the DeRohan Chabot diaphanous gay goth drapes, Trilogy of Terror Totem and other quirky ephemera so make haste.

Exile

Kurfuerstenstrasse 19

10785

Thur – Sat 1-6pm by appointment only.

***

Not one of my ex students, but the young gorgeous artist Elly Clark is always up to something dazzling, engaging and no good.  She just sent me this latest missive of activitat.

Remote Intimacy Digital Residency at Fabrica with Marlborough Theatre & Brighton Digital Festival - September 14th-17th

In May this year I was awarded commission by Fabrica Gallery in association with Brighton Digital Festival exploring the subject of 'Remote Intimacy' with my ongoing #PhysicalDigital #OnlineOffline #Sergina drag performance project. 
For it I developed two new participatory performances: Waiting for Ice Cream, Waiting for #Sergina: Private Performance / Instantaneous Newsreel and I Got My Phone in My Wallet Ghetto blaster induced Flashmob #Serginacise, and upgraded a third - #Sergina's Stimulatingly Sexy Simultaneous Simulation of Herself - by bringing it to a new city, introducing new performer Katy Pendlebury, and incorporating a new song with music by Simon Clark.

On Wednesday 14th September I'm taking part in a panel discussion about my work with Magda Tyzlik-Carver.

All events listed below. All are free but booking advised. Click on the links for further info. 

- 14th September 6pm: Panel Discussion of Elly Clarke with Magda Tyzlik-Carver at Fabrica. - 14th - Thursday 15th September: Waiting for Ice Cream, Waiting for #Sergina: Private Performance / Instantaneous Newsreel - at Fabrica. Participatory performance which invites people to enter a blue screen booth dressed and made up as #Sergina, and to deliver their own rendition of#WaitingForIceCream which is instantaneously broadcast via #Sergina's YouTube Channel. - Thursday 15th September: I Got My Phone in My Wallet Ghetto blaster induced Flashmob #Serginacise - where we dance the dance of I Got my Phone in my Wallet to willing or unwilling audiences around Brighton. Starting at Fabrica at 7.30pm. - Saturday 17th September: #Sergina's Stimulatingly Sexy Simultaneous Simulation of Herself simultaneously at 7:30PM GMT / 8:30 CET in:        

         #Brighton at Fabrica with Katy Pendlbury at 7:30pm
         #Brighton at The Marlborough Theatre with Elly Clarke at 7:30pm
         #Berlin at Silver Future with Thomas Doherty at 8:30pm
         #Belgrade in a Top Secret Venue to be Revealed with Vladimir Bjeličić at 8:30pm