Thursday, December 01, 2016

Alles hat ein Ende nur die Wurst hat zwei


So sorry I have not kept up with the latest moving pictures coming out of LaDeeDaahland, but the Autumn is always my busiest season so I havent had time to go to many of the free screenings provided to me. Here is my truncated report on the films I did see:  Arrival starring dull Amy Adams, duller Jeremy ”Prone to Nuclear Mudslides” Renner and a lethargic Forrest Whittaker. I sure would like to get with one off those Heptapods and their tree trunk eggplants. Imagine exxxtraterrestrials who write in fancy Butcher Holler style caligraphy and speak with a Hippo, dub progressive house accent.
The Harry Potter franchise has gotten a wee bit more interesting with their new series Strange Beauties and Fickle Admirers which features a troubled queer teen played by lovely Ezra Miller whose tight little booty hole keeps getting teased and fingered by power top Colin Farrell. Manipulative Alpha Mr. Farrell, just wont plow the lovesick puppy which causes him to go homo-cidal deathrock. The main storyline featuring lesbianic cutiepie Eddie Redmayne is less interesting, but I sure got pleasure out of seeing actress Samantha Morton. Just wish they gave her more to do.
Woody Allen's Cafe Society starring pigeon chested hunchback beauty Jesse Eisenberg, and saaphic hotsy totsy Kirsten Stewart almost does a pop goes the weazel. Next time take young precious Mr. Eisenberg and plop him in the lead of an adaptation of Bud Schulberg's What Makes Sammy Run?
Got a chance to see my beautiful child of high art, the gifted and talented New York based artiste Jonathan Berger who was traveling through Europa with his wonderful parents.  Red hot Jons treated Fearless Leader of CHEAP Susanne Sachsse and I to a brilliant luncheon at Mokkabar in the Bergman Kiez of Kreuzberg. 
One of my dearest girlfriends, the insanely divine musical genius Glen Meadmore is doing some surprise shows in Germany. Thursday December 1st he will be in Leipzig at the Felsen Keller and Friday at White Trash in Berlin. You know what to do.
Also on Thursday there is a record release party at Monster Ronsons 7-11pm for the late Brian Tennessee Claflin of Pork fame and Snax. The EP consists of several tracks they recorded together. Baby Brian's musical persona was known as Prix. Its a hand painted limited edition release by curmudeony Slovakian designer Mario Drzilla. Bruce “Judy” La Bruce and novelist Travis Jeppesen will be some of the celebrity guest DJ's.

I didnt grow up celebrating Christmas, that Christian adopted Pagan holiday thats only purpose is to propel danger capitalism, but a lot of my fans enjoy sending me presents during the holidays and I love accepting them. I adore books, so feel free to send me any and all you come across. On my wish list is Party of the Century by Deborah Davis about Truman Capote's Black and White Masked Ball at the Plaza Hotel in 1966. With my LA hotspot Bricktops at the ParlourClub I did a riff off of The Black&White Masked Ball for New Year's Eve 2003 that was quite a major success featuring performances by Brian Grillo and his Grillo Follies with special guest star Mink Stole, the John Waters legend. The tribal media loons have started camping out in front of the CHEAP offices thinking its where I live.  Some American website trying to create a fake scandal wrote about my relationship with movie director Brett Ratner. Of coure this was years ago when he was just a nebishy Jewish horndog sniffing about my panties at Club Sucker at the Garage my Sunday afternoon punk rock beer bust/performance salaon.  It seems that Brett's business partner a rich Australian dude named James Packer is somehow connected to the new Trump administration.  Where i figure into it i have no ideal.  One thing i can say is that I predict the VP Elect Mike Pense will have Trump assassinated so that he can get all the power.  Mr. Pense is more evil then Dick Chaney.  Mark my words. Remember Vaginal Davis in Swahili means she who cannot lie and is always right.