So very thrilled to witness Leila Hekmat´s legitimate theater debut at the grand HAU1 last Friday.  It was an expressive evening that brought about visions of Madame Grès, Mainbocher, Charles James, Cecil Beaton and Vicente Minnelli rolled into Ernst Lubitsch´s The Shop Around the Corner via the original 1937 Hungarian play Parfumerie by Miklòs Làszlò as channel surfed Beach Blanket Bingo style with Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger´s 1951 film of  Jacques Offenbach´s  Tales of Hoffmann.  Bravo gorgeous and super talented Ms. Hekmat!  You are my favourite heroine, and new girl on the indie theatricalli szene block.  

The Hekmat ensemble of I wanna buy your face are Pierre Clémenti/Carmelo Bene/Luchino Visconti pillow lipped perfection in every way imaginable and carry a Bizantine necromantic appeal that flits and floats on the most delicate of gossamer wings.  You will be addicted to the cast of Gloriette:  Roman Ole,  Shade Théret, Mickey Mahar, Elena Francalanci, Jette Loona Hermanis, Mara Snip, Roman Lemberg, Cassie Augusta Jorgensen, Aya Sone, Samuel Pereira, and Noah Lichtblau.  The singing and music is sumpteous, the coiffure, make-up, shoes,  costumes and terpsichore glorious. 

I was so impressed that a youth like Roman Ole would know the olde vaudeville/music hall trick of standing on stage at just the right angle to make sure that the light captures your eyes in radiant sparkle.

*

Usually the Vagimule Doll goes into hibernation mode during the winter months only emerging again in the Spring. But it was impossible to ignore that legends legend Michéle Lamy in Berlin to receive a GQ Award at the Sophie Charlotte Palast Orangery in Charlottenburg. La Lamy was looking ravishing as always, with those sultry eyes of her wearing a Mishima styled gown with hogmaws and chitlin entrails by her husband Rick Owens. This year the Moty, Men of the Year award was given to Twin Peaks actor Kyle MacLachlan, British thespian Nicholas Hoult who looks quite dashing in person. Ms. Davis chittle chatted with Casey Spooner who has moved to Berlin from London, Franka Potente looking a delight in an Issey Miyake dress. Miss Franka use to date Ms. Davis´ former colleague the Los Angeles writer and director Julian Nitzberg. Introducing Michéle Lamy was the lovely Hanna Rose Dalton and partner Steven Raj Bhaskaran who design costumes for the big extravaganzas at the Fredrichs Palast, lovesexy muscular beauty "It" boy Benjamin Alexander Huseby was looking delicious and booty munchable. GQ´s Tobias Frericks who use to be the husband of artist Christophe Chemin, was ruling the roost while that big footsis photog and sex god Matt Lambert with his juicy husband Jannis turned a lot of heads as the worlds type of hot on the prowl power couples. Giving baroque glamour was the super talented and beguiling M.J. Harper.

Durchgefickt total versaut

So very thrilled to witness Leila Hekmat´s legitimate theater debut at the grand HAU1 last Friday.  It was an expressive evening that brought about visions of Madame Grès, Mainbocher, Charles James, Cecil Beaton and Vicente Minnelli rolled into Ernst Lubitsch´s The Shop Around the Corner via the original 1937 Hungarian play Parfumerie by Miklòs Làszlò as channel surfed Beach Blanket Bingo style through Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger´s  1951 film of  Jacques Offenbach´s  Tales of Hoffmann.  Bravo Ms. Hekmat!  You are my favourite heroine and new girl on the indie theatricalli szene block.  

The Hekmat ensemble of I wanna buy your face are Pierre Clémenti/Carmelo Bene/Luchino Visconti pillow lipped perfect in every way and carry a Bizantine necromantic appeal that flits and floats on the most delicate of gossamer wings.  You will be addicted to the cast of Gloriette:  Roman Ole,  Shade Théret, Mickey Mahar, Elena Francalanci, Jette Loona Hermanis, Mara Snip, Roman Lemberg, Cassie Augusta Jorgensen, Aya Sone, Samuel Pereira, and Noah Lichtblau.  The singing and music is sumpteous, the coiffure, make-up, shoes,  costumes and terpsichore glorious.  I was so impressed that a youth like 

Roman Ole would know the olde vaudeville/music hall trick of standing on stage at just the right angle to make sure that the light captures your eyes in radiant sparkle.

Usually the Vagimule Doll goes into hibernation mode during the winter months only emerging again in the Spring. But it was impossible to ignore that legends legend Michéle Lamy in Berlin to receive a GQ Award at the Sophie Charlotte Palast Orangery in Charlottenburg. La Lamy was looking ravishing as always, with those sultry eyes of her wearing a Mishima styled gown with hogmaws and chitlin entrails by her husband Rick Owens. This year the Moty, Men of the Year award was given to Twin Peaks actor Kyle MacLachlan, British thespian Nicholas Hoult who looks quite dashing in person. Ms. Davis chittle chatted with Casey Spooner who has moved to Berlin from London, Franka Potente looking a delight in an Issey Miyake dress. Miss Franka use to date Ms. Davis´ former colleague the Los Angeles writer and director Julian Nitzberg. Introducing Michéle Lamy was the lovely Hanna Rose Dalton and partner Steven Raj Bhaskaran who design costumes for the big extravaganzas at the Fredrichs Palast, lovesexy muscular beauty "It" boy Benjamin Alexander Huseby was looking delicious and booty munchable. GQ´s Tobias Frericks who use to be the husband of artist Christophe Chemin, was ruling the roost while that big footsis photog and sex god Matt Lambert with his juicy husband Jannis turned a lot of heads as the worlds type of hot on the prowl power couples. Giving baroque glamour was the super talented and beguiling M.J. Harper.

Brünetter Kerl schlägt zu

The second half of Veronika V'Intereste´s  Stockholm takedown ended in triumphant celebrata as Kollektiv CHEAP once again comes through in a Bronson Pinchot.  All the other Berlin art kollektiv´s like Hangover and Krisp have faded from popular memory. CHEAP is now in the throws of 24 years of existence made crystaline clear with their eclectic performance A World Where Nothing is Private at the Universitet of Stockholm´s Accelerator led by Fearless Leader Susanne Sachsse looking stunning with able assist by Marcuse Siegelstein as MC and Minister of Information,  Daniel Hendrickson aka DJane Nancy, Vaginal Davis with CHEAP Klub alumnus Annette Frick and her brilliantine art photo projections, Martin Siemann who designed the lighting and stage set, hair and make-up artiste´s Christian Fitzenwanker & Elva Ahlbin, plus geniustrata local gogo dance troupe Scandik.  Keeping everything running smoothly was Accelerator tech chief the lovely and muscular Birt.  The happening functioned as a micro CHEAP Klub featuring installations, films, slides, lecturinas and music by XiuXiu, & others.  When DJane Nancy played Dalida´s version of "Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini" and "Mandolet" by La Flavour the sedate Stockholm publicum went hog wild.  La Sachsse´s singing of the hit song from CHEAP Blacky "Even Without Champagne" was another highlight along with her taking a Vodka bath ala Flashdance and later promenading in a CHEAP Klub text covered paper gown. It was a very attractive audience of teens all the way up to Octogenerians, with celebrities like Alexander Skarsgard, Noomi Rapace, Alicia Vikander, Fares Fares, Joel Kinnaman, Dolph Lundgren, Izabella Scorupco, Alexander Karim, Andreas Wilson, Myket Kollektiv, Vinzenz Hediger,  Alexandra Schneider, Therese Kellner & Ric Julin of the curatorial team and Eva Livjn with actress Lena Olin.  Sachsse & Davis ended the festivities along with Tanya Tucker´s Delta Dawn.  The best review of the evening was that "CHEAP are magnificent fossils."  Can´t argue with that.

A week before, the art congress Vaginal Davis Universitet for the Damaged & Gifted took place at the marvelous Tensta Konsthall in the Stockholm migrant suburb on September 7th.  Tensta is a very special place.  I believe it´s the only arts institution with a dedicated staff of mainly Muslim women.  Other institutions could learn from Tensta.  The 12 hour endurance event started at 11am and didn´t end till way after midnight.  All universities could take a page from this unorthodox learning annex which began with a beautiful and beguiling synod by the writer and artiste Lisa Teasley from Los Angeles, Plenum´s from the sensational Stix Omar with Bror Ida Lennartsson, Constance Brosse with Olga Rozenblum and the fine work they are doing tracing Lesbian leather scenes,  Maria Norrman in fine voice channeling Mae West with her Alter of Camp and Queer Army film, Ron Athey & Hermes Pittakos bringing everyone to tears with their Willendorf performance, Iris Smeds showed the importance of Death Yoga in heralding the New New Age,  Radical Love´s Samuel Girma & Sam Hultin nourished both the mind and body and BLOW ended the day with the post modern drag of Mzamo Nondlwana of South Africa and Berlin´s own Lady Bleach who is a fiery mix of Jane County, Jo Briath and Courtney Love along with the delectable George Chamoun who organized the evenings hallowed performances.  Special thankx go to Scented Candle, aka:  Hendrik Folkerts of Moderna Museet and the incredible Cecilia Widenheim and her glorious staff at Tensta who know what matters.

The festivities in Stockholm started on September 4th with a double feature screening at MDT of Hair and All That Jazz from 1979 as part of My Wild Flag Festival.  People came dressed in dancebelts, leggings and the like and surprisingly didn´t complain about the late Summer heatwave which engulfed the islands.  Stockholm never gets hot in September but Ms. Davis and Hector Martinez brought with them a little of Irving Berlin famous ditty that was sung so eloquently by Marilyn Monroe in the 1954 film There`s No Business, Like Show Business.

Kudos to Pontus Pettersson and Karina Sarkissova of My Wild Flag Festival and Anna Efraimsson and Mmabatho Thobejane of MDT for their expertise and encouragement.

Coming long distances to see Magnificent Product was Amelia Jones of USC, Miss Lady "Big Deal" Bradford J. Pickleseimer Nordeen IV with posse, The Love Camel aka: Andrea Novarin who scored big with the locals tricking with a 22 year old muscleheaded Latvian and a 23 year old Slovenian bubble butt boy wench all on the same evening.  Stockholm seems to love Daddy Camels.  Also getting a lot of action with the fairer twinky sex was Stevin Azo Michels of NYU who came to Tensta wearing a fashionable Catholic girl school uniform ala Brittney Spears.

Jasper Johns in his youth was a shrimpers delight with his giant finely formed patrician toes.

La Sachsse and Ms. D. as twin sisters Heide & Heike in Edith Head drag wearing a reproduction by Garo Sparo of a dress Edith Head designed for Gloria Swanson in 1949 with Skandik GoGo troupe of Stockholm

Ms. Davis with the glam "IT" girl Therese Kellner of Accelerator.

Marcuse Siegelstein and Ms. Davis in high gospel mode during CHEAP´S A World Where Nothing is Private

Der äußere Raum

My nutters frenemy Edward James Osmosis has been going to Burning Man in the Nevada desert for many years. You couldn´t pay me gatrillions of bar geld to go camping anyplace in the world. Mr. Osmosis talks about the spiritual connectedness of the event, the incredible art that is produced and the powerful friendships he has made on the playa.

I read in a news report that on the first day of the happening there was a dead body found. Mr. Osmosis texted me that he didn´t know anything about that, but sent this initial commentary:

I just finished a bar tending shift in my camp. GURL there was a fucken hottie, but he was so fucked up I did not serve him a drink. I wanted to drag him to my tent!!!!!!

OMG OMG these straight dudes, I believe he was on drugs not alcohol.

I told him "Sorry, man here is some water, now go and rest." He looked at me with confused, sad puppy dog eyes. I served him some more water. I could smell his sexy armpits. FUCK!

*

OMG OMG U cannot make this shit up even if you stank it first.

I walked into the Gloryhole camp.

Two elderly professional cocksuckers were waiting patiently chittle chatting. They are sitting on small designer chairs with towels, wipes and poppers. They are alert and ready to chow down. One looks just like Santa Claus from the 1947 film Miracle on 47th Street. The other is the splitting image of Irene Ryan aka: Granny from The Beverly Hillbillies, TV sitcom of the 1960s. He is wearing a flowered radical fairy dress and engineer boots.

A long haired blonde dude enters the Gloryhole camp. This guy is strutting and looking fierce. He has chiseled abs, bubble butt, is chesty with bullet nips. He pulls out a pretty sensational looking chorizo and walks over to Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies.

Well the Santy Claus, Chris Cringle gets pissed and says, "I´ve been waiting for hours for someone like him". Granny shrugs and sez, "Too bad he came to my gloryhole." These two old dudes start going at in a heated argument.

The hot blonde dude has his pretty, fully erect rocket shaped dick through the gloryhole. While the two geezers are yelling at each other, a little fugly and I mean FUUUUUGGGGLYYYYY, but perky Filipino swoops in and starts sucking on that big, thick white dick.

The Filipino dude was sucking that dick like he was a starved pirahna. The long haired blonde white dude receiving the spirited blow job sez, "Hey Bro, no teeth--calm down". The Filipino dude --she wasn´t able to relax or calm down. She kept on chowing at the same rabid pace. The surfer looking dude repeated, "Hey man, I said no teeth and please slow down." The Filipino dude was sucking Cruel Club Caucasian Cock like her life depended on it. The surfer dude ended up walking away and out of the Gloryhole club camp. The two elderly gentlemen, Santa and Granny continued to argue over proper Gloryhole etiquette!

*

Joaquin Phoenix pulled out of an upcoming Todd Haynes flicker because he got cold tootsies about the homosexy content in the film. The strange things is that he was the one pushing the graphic envelope with said film property that would have him performing hotsy totsy analingus on the gorgeous young Mexican starino Danny Ramirez. I pity the foolio who doesn´t want to munch on the perforated garden salad of Mr. Ramirez. Spicy beef curtains indeed.

Teer und Weinstein

The Vagimule Doll has been having a trying Summer with the weather going back and forth from coolish to sweltering. Not a happy recipe for a lady with late onset type one diabetes. Usually the month of August in Berlin means that Summer is over and is met with the Rains of Ranchipur.

This August has been very topsy turvy with fluctuations, and our heroine Miss Endicott aka: Vaginal Davis has been merrily rolling along trying to deal with her chronic illness as well as high blood pressure problemas. Adding another element is a brand new painting series that will be on exhibit in September at her west coast gallery of Adams&Ollman which is a two person pairing with the very gifted, young artiste ektor Maria garcia. The name of the exhibition is There´s Something About Maria. Excitement is imminent. Early in the month La Davis got to brainstorm in person with ektor who was in a whirlwind around Europa, making a sexy pitstop in the German capital of which everyone who met him wanted to get naked and begin fornication proceedings. ektor is all that attractive. If you get too close you will wind up preggers. So the pressure has been on for Ms. D to finish her new painting series about women with the name of Maria/Mary.

Of course that isn´t all that the scandalous scrampa of a woman Vaginal Davis has had to do, as she will be returning to Stockholm for the second half of her multi institutional assault of that Scandinavian city. Yes Sept 4 she will host a special double header screening of Milos Foreman´s Hair and Bob Fosse´s All That Jazz at MDT (Modern Dance Theatre). So come to the screening in your best Twyla Tharp look complete with dance belt and leggings, or just show up completely nekkid. Nudity always works in a pinchy pinch.

On September 7th at Tensta Konsthall will be a daylong art congress - Universitet Vaginal Davis of the Gifted and Damaged with presentations by Ron Athey & Hermes Pittakos, Constance Brosse & Olga Rozenblum, Maria Norrman, Stix Omar & Bror Ida Lennartsson, Radical Love (Samuel Girma and Sam Hultin) Iris Smeds, Lisa Teasley, and BLOW with BLEACH, Mzamo Nondlwana and others organized by George Chamoun.

September 14th 7:30 at University of Stockholms Accelerator Art Space is the unorthodox CHEAP performance A World Where Nothing is Private with CHEAP fearless leader Susanne Sachsse, Marcuse Siegelstein, Daniel Hendrickson, Vaginal Davis, Martin Siemens and Christian Fritzenwanker.

The Herzogin Davis needed a royal break from the onslaught and with her handsome young son Blood of Abraham aka Catherine Sullivan dancer Assaf Hochman she went to see Peaches, Gossip and Roisin Murphy perform at the open air concert space Zitadelle Spandau. Special thanx go to Gossip manager Tara Perkins of Hardline Mgm´t for putting them on the comp list. Since Lady D is a formalist pensioner the early start time of the said concert was a blessing, but the weather was much hotter then originally predicted which caused some swelling of the feet and knees.

Starting things off in a raucaus sexyline manner was the first lady of Berlina herself Peaches with a cast of energetic, hardbodied limousine lap and private dancers. Not even the crunchy soundsystem could dampen Peaches determination and verve giving the crowd juicy Leather Tuscadero ga-realness. After her scintilating set the Teaches of Peaches and lifepartner Black Cracker with entourage scurried after some Bratwürst in the food court which actually had some swellegant vegan options.

Next came Gossip and our girl Miss Beth Ditto giving so much Esther Williams that I couldn´t tell if she was Esther in Million Dollar Mermaid, Bathing Beauty, Dangerous When Wet, Easy to Love or Jupiter´s Darling. No one gives glam like Ms. Ditto who comes complete with a glam squad that every fashion ikone can´t do without.

Our Pepetual Lady Miss Beth breaks all the rules of stage performance--and its what we love about her, whether constantly chit chatting, even in mid song--her boundless teenage energy and zest for life is addictive like Poppers Stew. An original talent in the way of all great southerners: Harper Lee, Eudora Welty, Carson McCullers. Raw star power never has glared so brightly. I adore her --the voice, the attitude, the swagger, the translucent skin, the bee stung lips. True Beauty richocheting through the heavenly firmament.

Her brother in arms Nathan Howdeshell right beside her as her rock of Gibralter. Out in the throngs it was difficult to see who was drumming on this tour. Perhaps original drummer Kathy Mendonca substituting for Billie? But touring band members Bettie Page dopplegänger Bijoux Cone on guitar and keyboard gives great sass while bass player Teddy Kwo is the roaring twenties newly proclaimed hunky hero sex demi god. I wanna smell his jock strap!

When an old ladies dogs are barking its time for her to leave so she missed out on headliner Roisin Murphy, which is just as well as the crowd was by this time quite sloppy drunk and giving an air of effete hooliganism.

våren byington

bebisar fick aereola

With my blood pressure skyrocketing in Stockholm all I could think about was how Steve Albini was just two years younger --61 to my 63. I always though that Mr. Albini was the same age as my Pedro, Muriel & Esther (PME) drummer Big Dique Sneaky Pete Tomlinson or bassist Dean "The Babe" Opseth.

Of course I had forgotten how old they were. I´ve always felt like I was the much older stateswoman when the fact is I´m not as ancient as I see myself. I was born elderly, so being of formalist pensioner age at last feels kind of cozy and down with AARP as the new OPP frontier. Hey, you know me Grosvenor.

Recording in Steve Albini´s home studio in Chicago in the 90s was granada. He was the perfect stately punk gentleman, so kind and considerate. On the day I was to do my vocals he made for me his special brew of herbal tea, pampering and treating me like I was his kid sister. Did he even have a sister? Both Steve and his lovely wife Heather who looked like she was still a teenager were very accommodating to me and my lead guitarist Glen Meadmore, who can be quite a diva in her quiet Cree/Ojibwe manner.

The boy studio assistants were running around barefoot, preggers and skantily clad. Was that for my benefit? If it was, it worked wonders in keeping me overstimulated. There is nothing in all the world like cornfed, free range mid western youth bounding about topless with huge Barney Rubble feet wearing skimpy, see through booty shorts, daisy dukes and one humpy dork of a fella in an olde fashion jock strap, the kind they don´t make anymore. Both Glen and I were non stop oogling worse then Cornelius from the early 1970s Planet of the Apes franchise.

The first week in Stockholm at the National Museum we were working from 8:30 am to 5:30pm. I don´t exactly remember how our install time got reduced from two weeks to five days. The Scented Candle was very good at distraction. Scented certainly isn´t evil, just young and ambitious. I can see him becoming the director of a small museum or Kunstverein. He´d be really fantastic in that kind of position.

I really loved the day he came to the museum dressed like the Archbishop of Canterbury, complete with a black pleated skirt that reminded me of a dark colored version of the skirt Cyd Charisse wore when she danced with Fred Astaire in the Dancing in the Dark number from Vincente Minnelli´s 1953 MGM musical film The Bandwagon. I predict dressing like the clergy will become the new hot fashion trend for Summer into Fall. 

I wonder where the Scented Candle purchased his rainbow colored cha-cha boots with a cuban heel. I appreciate someone who is having a blast with fashion and doesn´t take himself too seriously. 

 I didn´t realize that cramming so much site specific work into a few days was going to take its toll on me. I´m lucky i didn´t have a stroke or a heart attack like our dear late Mr. Albini. Mr. Albini and his studio workers with their mighty might heavy peterfications. 

 I´ll forever and a day be indebted to Joanna Brown and Mark "Ears" Frietas of Homo Core Chicago for making it possible for Pedro, Muriel & Esther to get the perfect recording treatment by the maestro himself. Steve Albini I miss you, I love you.

I´m beyond exhausted, so more about the Stockholm takeover with Magnificent Product at Moderna Museet and the other institutions a little later.  Thank you for your patience.


Ms. Davis with young artiste extroidinair Maria Norrman.  That Davis woman has stopped dying her hair dark and is showing her slicked brown natural blonde color though at her age its more all white then blondine.  When Ms. Davis wears a wig its an Oprah Winfrey styled wig.  She wears Rick Owens gown designed especially for Magnificent Product and purse, jewelry by Jimmy Choo who sponsored artist dinner.  Mega Thank you´s Daphn`e Cousineau and Daniele Totaro

Caftan designed by Monika of East Berlin.  Shopping bag for Ms. Davis´ late onset type one diabetes supplies photos on bag by Hector "Azteca Warrior" Martinez

VD Hunkter No. 341-876d  Marlo Hummis







Ms. Davis in Rick Owens with curator Henrik Folkerts both wearing purses and jewelry by Jimmy Choo

Magnificent Partee with  hairy musclebound studkin  Ms. Davis´s makeup by Scandic Elva

No One Leaves Delilah A (W)rap on Friction Diction

































Spicy Beef Curtains at the Parlour Club.  Vaginal Davis in Pleather, The Dorian Corey Story



















RIP Steve Albini