MITTEN IM MALESTREAM

Went to the glorious birthday celebration of the Arsenal’s Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus at the Blue Nile Ethiopian Restaurant in Kreuzberg off of the canal between Hallesches Tor and Mockenbrucke. The Empress was looking very lovely and royal wearing a stylish ensemble fitting the most powerful woman in all of Europe. The celebutante guest list included power couple--film historian Marcuse Siegel and Susanne Sachsse of Kollective CHEAP, Daniel Hendrickson the Scandinavian Muzlim translator to the shtars, delicious beauty Dorothee Wenner, member of the Berlinale’s Forum section selection committee and filmmaker suprema, Heidi Schluptmann and Carolla Graumann of KinoThek Asta Nielsen Frankfurt am Main, the effervescent Nanna Heidenreich, Stefan Landorf, documentary filmmaker who was a medical docter before he studied film, Monika Rinck the famous German poet, Landgraf Joerg Heitmann, one of Kino Arsenal’s biggest supporters who is a filmmaker/sailing enthusiast and Anne Quirynen video artist, professor in Potsdam and neighbour to Empress Stefanie. I love the food at the Blue Nile which is one of the more unique restaurants in Berlin.

Friday afternoon I was taken to luncheon at a scrumptious Indian boite in Winterfeldt Platz by David Evans Frantz the head curator of Los Angeles’ One Institute National Gay&Lesbian Archive and Patrick Mansfield the collections manager of The Wende Museum and Archive of the Cold War an institution based in Culver City that I had never heard of. It was nice spending time with two handsome young men with large penises who have devoted themselves exclusively to serving the Vagimule Doll and took the pilgrimage to Berlin whiffing up some of the ladies majick. Its an easy rule for kids to follow these days--seek out Ms.Davis for all the answers to the universe and you will find happiness and success in all your worldly endeavors. For more info on One Inst and Wende Museum see links below:

one.usc.edu
onearchives.org
www.wendemuseum.org

CIRCUMAMBULATING BALL OF DUNG

O I forgot to mention that I am a part of this years Whitney Biennial as a film I performed in a few years ago She Gone Rogue by my lovely little art daughter ZacKery Drucker is getting its East Coast premiere at the Whitney Museum of Art. See below for the details and check it out if you are in the tri-state area:

DEAR FRIENDS, Friends of Friends, Lovers of Friends, and Friends of the Family,

Rhys and I have combined our mailing lists for ONE TIME ONLY to tell you about the various projects we have been toiling away on, tirelessly and effortlessly, Together.

If you, or someone you know, will be in New York City, please consider attending the Whitney Museum, Wednesday - Sunday, where you will find a plethora of possibilities:

Our film SHE GONE ROGUE is screening in the Lobby Gallery for the next 2 weeks (April 2nd to April 13th). The film is looped and plays every 30 minutes. This is She Gone Rogue's East Coast premiere and stars Flawless Sabrina, Holly Woodlawn, Vaginal Davis, and Zackary's very own biological parents.

http://whitney.org/Events/ZackaryDruckerAndRhysErnstSheGoneRogue

YOU'LL LOVE IT - This Friday Evening, April 4th at 7pm, we are doing a LIVE TELEVISION SHOW in the Lower Lobby, with special guests Flawless Sabrina, Kate Bornstein, Mx. Justin Vivian Bond, as well as community advocate organizations FIERCE and TransJustice - Audre Lorde Project. This is open to the public and requires no reservation or tickets:

http://whitney.org/Events/ZackaryDruckerAndRhysErnstWorkshop

Mother Flawless Sabrina Reads You: Oracle, shaman, reader of Tarot and Light, is doing Tarot readings by appointment. We plan to extend this event for as long as there is interest and folks scheduling sessions.

Here is a short preview of what you may experience:

http://whitney.org/WatchAndListen/Exhibitions?play_id=926

Please follow this link to book an appointment, we are adding appointments as demand necessitates:

http://www.supersaas.com/schedule/ZackaRhys/FlawlessTarot

RELATIONSHIP at the Whitney

Up through the end of MAY, please find on the 3rd floor of the museum, a new photo series RELATIONSHIP, 2008 - 2013, that documents… well, you get the idea.

http://whitney.org/Exhibitions/2014Biennial/ZackaryDruckerAndRhysErnst

Here's a link to two articles in which we discuss the work:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/13/fashion/the-growing-transgender-presence-in-pop-culture.html?_r=0

http://artillerymag.com/zackary-drucker-and-rhys-ernst/

LOS ANGELES - please know that the series is coming your way in September! Wash-up and BE READY, we're coming for you ; )

TRANSPARENT

LASTLY, please take a look at the critically-acclaimed Amazon pilot "Transparent" that we consulted on. It's free to watch and free to love:

http://www.amazon.com/Pilot-HD/dp/B00I3MNF6S

Please keep a look-out for us in the news, and on your radio and television sets, as we are rather ubiquitous and over-exposed as of late. We won't tell you yet what's coming next for the sole purpose of surprising you instead. We are excited and doing it all FOR YOU. Seriously, un-seriously, and with Love and Solidarity,

Zackary Drucker and Rhys Ernst

AND NOW ON TUMBLR:

http://zackarhys.tumblr.com/

***

I am now part of the 21st Century as my boss at Arsenal Inst fur Film und Videokunst Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus took me for a delicious belated birthday dinner at the fab Italian restaurant Centolire on Leipziger Strasse and presented me with a smart I-phone that is sleek and streamline and so powerful it feels as if the handy can fly me to the moon and back. Of course I’m going to have to get a tutorial on how to use the phone, as I am very limited when it comes to technological advances. During dinner the Empress and I were having a girlish hoot of a time laughing, gossiping and trading womanly secrets and if you want to know if we were talking about YOU, of course we were!
The owner of Centolire is a personable Italian fellow around 50 years old named Moreno Caruso.  Because I was with Empress Stefanie Mr. Caruso naturally thought I was some big whig film celebutante so he gave us star treatment and complimentary champagne.  Seniore Caruso use to live in Los Angeles from 1981-1987 and worked at the famed restaurant Emilio’s on Melrose Avenue and Highland just off of the Melrose Shopping Strip and adjacent to Hancock Park. LA 1981-87.  . . ah those were my Coming of the Night salad years of youth.
 If you go to Centolire I highly recommend the Ravioli with Ricota & spinat. Lecker , smacker!

PREUSSISCH GANGSTAR

Was invited for a resplendid feast at the Bluecher Strasse Kreuzberg compound of beautiful Nazli Kilerci. Ms. Kilerci I first met back in 2006 when she was a student at the Frei Universitaet of film historian Marcuse Siegel. Later she became one of our student collaborators on the CHEAP Gossip Studio for Forum Expanded and started working with Susanne Sachsse and I on our CHEAP projects at Hebbel am Ufer X-Schule, Communist Bigamist and Camp/Anti-Camp. Now she’s branched out all on her own and is doing very interesting artistic and political work on an international level as is to be expected from someone young, smart and all encompassing. Her housemate is a young Greek film director named Syllas Tzoumerkas and together they cooked a meal that sent me floating in upper Vagimuleland. I don’t really cook so I depend on the graciousness of friends and strangers alike to feed me, and let me tell you my mouth is always open and ready to indulge in culinary flights. The dinner started off with Nazli’s famous Marmara Anatolia spring rucula salat with a delicate Bosphorus herbladen dressing, a Kurdistan Gnostic Gnochi with Thracian Seljuk and Syllas’s great grandmothers recipe of Greek Active Aegean Sea Muscle Shoals Soup which was hearty and thick as would be expected. To wash things down our palette Nazli made a refreshing Thrace Spritzer and for desert Dardanelles chocolate with fragrant Beylik coffee. An evening could not be more perfect, plus Syllas and Nazli took turns reading my fortune ala the coffee cup stains and it seems like I will be meeting a tall, dark man with a humongoli penis and will be getting an art commission that will pay me gabs of moula$$$$$. 

 ***

For those of you looking for something fun to do this weekend my pals in the hot Berlin based band Leiseylento will be performing. See below:

Hello Hello

with the spring new songs sprout and Leiseyento is very proud to sing for you ! Also we are celebrating our 5th year anniversary this year and preparing some surprises to come with the summer (does this mean a new album? or a new music video?)

so...here'S the next gig (some more will be coming along soon)

5th april FEED CAFE neukölln, Weisestr.49 19h

and check our facebook for any updates !

love

L&L

--

Leiseylento **bazaar musical***
www.leiseylento.blogspot.de
www.soundcloud.com/leiseylento
www.myspace.com/leiseylento
face book: leiseylento

***

Those of you in New York one of my favourite artists, bon vivants and writers with Art Forum Magazine is the deliciously sexxxxy and stylish Alex Jovanovich. He will be in a lovely little groupshow at ZieherSmith in Chelsea. He sent the info to me via PDF but with my non-existent computer skills I wasn’t able to download the information so I am sure you can find it on those gadgetry smart phones you young can't seem to live without, or check back with me later and I will see if I can get him to send me the specs in the body of an emug. What can I say “Tunten und Technik”.

AUTORITAETSVERLUST

Been getting a lot of attention from these internet auteurs lately. My young humpy straight intern Gleeson Brevard, who comes from a good WASPY family has been acting as an intermediary. The internet world is so beyond bizarre and out of my sphere, but here is the latest ho-down: Brian Schechter the CEO of HowAboutWe and Justin Mateen the founder of Tinder some dating apps that I guess are similar to Grinder and Scruff want to hire me for something or other. My assistant Glee showed me pictures of both of these men and they are not exactly attractive so I’m really not interested in what they have to offer me. If they were goodlooking with huge genitals that would be a different matter all together.

Yesterday spent all morning from 8am on working on Rising Star,Falling Stars-We Must Have Music with my partner in grime Daniel Hendrickson the Scandinavian Muzlim jihadist. We were putting together lists of films plus deciding when we will go scouring through the Arsenal archive to unlock some hidden treasures. Daniel is the only other person in Berlin besides me that is up at the crack of dawn every day. Usually I am awake by 6am, but lately I have been waking up around 5am and this is even before the daylightsavings time change. When I lived in Los Angeles I got up every day at 5am,but I got out of that habit here in Berlin as nothing seems to be open that early in this late night village. Most restaurants don’t open till at least 10am and sometimes later. I inherited my late mothers early to bed early to rise work ethic. I like my life in Berlin but sometimes it can get a little depressing dealing with grumpy sour Berliners, and fugly gay sex lizard types. One thing I do love about Berlina is that it can surprise you. The other day I had a very nice conversation with an older German woman who was just the epitome of charm and graciousness. She was staring at me while I was standing in line at the post office where I spend a lot of time with all the letter writing I do. I’m use to being stared at so I just smiled my usual Josephine Baker toothy grin and she marched right up to me and said in very good English, “Finally someone gorgeous and interesting to look at. Where are you from?” I told her I was from Los Angeles. And she had so many fab stories to tell of adventures in LA and New York in the 1970s. The line at the post office was unusually long and was moving very slowly which is not the norm unlike the post offices in the States which are slower then refried molasses. It’s these unexpected encounters that really can warm ones heart.

Getting back to Daniel Hendrickson my CHEAP kollegan. Daniel and his sexy ItalioGerman boyfriend Piero Bellomo, the fashion designer took me to luncheon at this cute tiny Asian fusion joint on Hermann Strasse where the food was muy delicioso. Piero gave me a lovely make-up mirror and some pretty designer clothing as a belated birthday present. I would be running around bubble butt naked if it wasn’t for Piero. Later in the afternoon I had a laundry party with Manuel Schubert of FilmHighlights Radio Magazine and The Taz Newspaper and his trusty fun loving gal pal Olivier Nowitzky. Olivier who is very intellectually curious and has quite a knowledge of cinema went back to school taking child care coursework. After the washhaus soiree the boys took me to Pho Viet on Akazien Strasse for some grub and of course we had a hoot of a time.

FAUBOURG OF MISERY

Was listening to an NPR interview with Jane Fonda who is promoting her new very strange tome “Being a Teen”.  Why Ms. Fonda has decided to write a book for teenagers is a bit puzzling but who cares I likes me some Hanoi Jane.  Jane Fonda is now in her late 70s and looks fab.  I use to work at UCLA’s Placement and Career Planning Center with the woman who became Jane Fonda’s father Henry Fonda’s last wife.  She met him on a plane, and when he died he left her a fortune.  I had a brief flingette with Jane Fonda’s dinge queen son Troy Garrity.  When I met him he was young and quite hunky appearing in one of those Ice Cube BarberShop films. Troy’s father is the ugly pockmark faced politico/activist Tom Haydn. I lost touch with Troy ages ago, but I heard from the grapevine that he married a biological black woman so I hope they are happy together.  Whatever happened to Bridget Fonda the daughter of Peter Fonda who starred in Single White Female and the 1989 Hairspray ripoff film SHAG that featured Phoebe Cates,Annebeth Gish, the ginger haired gay boy Scott Coffey and one of my old flames Robert Russler who never missed one of my performances in the early 1990s at places like Café Largo, Trade or Sin-A-Matic at Peanuts Disco.  Bob Russler was quite a beauty. I loved him in that movie Vamp with Chris Makepeace and Grace Jones. 

The other day I was listening to a recording by Blanche Callaway the older sister of Cab Callaway.  Its obvious her brother copied her, and wound up becoming more famous.  If anyone out there wants to buy me a book please send me a copy of Bruce Levine’s “Fall of the House of Dixie”.  If the publishers of the book are reading this blog please send it to me.  The last time I mentioned a book I was interested in reading the author had his publishers send me a copy.  Now that’s what I call service with a certain smile!

Sunday afternoon the wonderful transluscent skinned American journalist Michael Scaturro who works for Deutche Welle and The Atlantic took me to luncheon at the Thai food  restaurant Papaya on the Haupt Strasse.  We had a delightful time hanging out with each other cruising all the sexy young Turkish and Arab boys in my kiez.  Mr. Scaturro lives in Mitte in an old Stassi building and is in dire need of a change of atmosphere so I hope he moves to my neighbourhood.  After luncheon we stopped for ice cream at the Lesbian Italio icecream shop on the corner of Pallastrasse and Potsdamer Strasse, did more hairy eyeballing, stopped off at Winterfeldtplatz and then oogled some very lovesexxy Turkish pieces of eyecandy playing soccer at Lutzoplatz Park.