BALM IN GILEAD
Sad news to report, Mrs. Jeffrey Burroughs aka Thing of the Ventura County Homo House kollective died quietly in his sleep the other night. Mrs. Burroughs was a hilarious free spirit, and the creator of the sexual positioning called Turtle, amongst other wild, non normative expressions of sexuality. I´ve known Mrs. Burroughs for more then 20 years and will miss her sweet beach blonditude. She is survived by her loyal girlfriends Dora, the first lady of drag in Ventura, and richest white woman of Southern California, and Clitoris Turner aka Mark Maxwell.

RIMMING IM DESIGNER-BAD
The Weather in Krems, Austria was magnificent. Sunny and not too warm, just perfect and very springlike. Krems also has some of the most amazing wine. The food is good too, but not as perfect as in Styria, which is Arnold Schwartzennegger country. While at the Donau Festival i ran into Sabine and Christine of the Steireicher Herbst Festival. They came to see Cheap Blacky and loved it. Didnt get a chance to see the band Xiu, Xiu that features cute little Jamie Stewart who use to perform regularly at my Club Sucker in Silverlake when he led the bands 10 in the Swear Jar and Ibopa. I even chowed down on his pretty genitalia while he was on my humble stage. He has become quite the big indie rock music star since his old Club Sucker days in the 90s. Leave it to Vaginal Davis to once again create future leaders in the underground rock community.
Also saw my juicy Kino Arsenal intern Christian F. Christian is from Bavaria and has a twin brother, and is one of the nicest kids on the planet, very bright and with a hilarious sense of humour. He is working on his Phd at the moment and we spent some quality time catching up at a cute cafe Al Fresco style.
o and one more thing i wanted to say about the wine in Krems, their vinelands are located in the picture postcard perfect hills ascending the Danube. And Krems even boasts its own wine college of carnal knowledge. The city dates back over 1000 years ago as the first settlement of nomadic German barbarians and Slavs, and is home to one of the biggest concentrations of criminals with the largest and sexiest penal colony in all of Austria. See what you learn from reading my lady blogina.

JUDY IS A PUNK
The Donau Festival is really one of the most incredible festy´s I´ve ever taken part in. Executive Director Tomas Zierhofer-Kin´s unique mixing of performance, music, film and art which at first seems unwieldy, actually works. And the little provincial town of Krems is delightful, with very friendly local people. Not even my German speaking collegues could understand what the townies are saying because of their thick dialect. I guess its like being in Manchester or Birmingham, England. I know they are speaking some form of English, but it might as well be Rusky.
I knew i was in Austria when on the second night of performances a muscular naked man was reading text wearing a pig mask. But in all The Donau is one extremely well organized & curated, festival. Herr Zierhofer-Kim is also a gracious host. Vienna curator Heiko Pfost could learn a lot from his mentor in that regard.
The diversity of talents on hand was electrifying. Bruce LaBruce was lucky enough to see the lesbian rap duo Bunny Rabbit. Since i was performing in Cheap Blacky i actually got to see very few other performers. The militant high priestess of spoken word Ursula Rucker performed inside a 13th Century Church, but of course she was on at the exact same time i was, so i missed her set. The drop dead gorgeous Ms. Rucker is from Philly PA and is the protege of the great poet Sonya Sanchez. We were hanging out together with pretty and vivacious Isabel Lewis of the Ann Liv Young dance kollective. The VIP lounge suddenly was turned into a vociferous black lady meeting of the minds, as we hooted and hollered as only sexy sistahs can.
In the VIP tent it was nice to spend some quality time with big daddy Athey. It was pure pleasure seeing his double bill with Dom Johnson called Self Obliteration. Ron´s sense of humour knows no bounds, as he once again creates perfect tableaux vivant. Upon entering his chamber Ron becomes a stately museo piece and "Cousin It" virility god, who not only obsessively combs the lice out of his long blondine locks, but does it while in heavy blood sausage trepanation mode.
Dom was a perfect compliment. No one does melancholia better then young Mr. Johnson, whose sublime perpetual sadness is so endearing. I also give Dom credit as someone from the academy who isn´t afraid to put his penis where his mouth is. Dom and I chatted till 5am, which is natural since we haven´t seen each other in 2 years. Ditto with Ron, so there was lots of catching up that had to be done. The Dadster was going to Vienna to lecture at the Academy of Fine Art and hang with big diqued art photog Mattias Hermann, who came to our show with visiting art fag Greg Bordowitz and his lesbian girlfriend Ulrike Müller. Mr. Bordowitz also teaches at the Chicago Art Institute. Mattias Hermann really liked our performance piece....
I didnt get a chance to say goodbye to Ron Athey while in Krems, but hopefully we will reunite in Korea for this big art happening that Raymond Hague and Franko b. are curating.