ZUM GREIFEN NAH
Everyone eventually winds up spending lots of time at the Gossip Studio. Ran into Kirsten from Outfest, met peppy Melissa, of Chicks on Speed, James Benning, (Sadie´s filmmaker father)both father and daughter are now teaching at The California Institute of the Arts. Speaking of Cal Arts got a sweet emug from Nicole Panter, who taught writing at the Valencia campus for many years. The wonderful Ms. Panther, who is also known as a famous punk rock princess, and manager of The Germs, is living in New Mexico, where she is bored out of her skull.
Was introduced to Derek Jarmen´s former producer James McKay, who will be teaching at the San Francisco Art Institute in the spring, and i spent a bit of time chatting with silver fox director Michel Audair of the Zanzibar Group, whose young producer Ethan is a major babe with a red tight body---Ouch! Mr. Audair was quite a hunk in his younger days scoring the cream of the underground crop like Viva, and also having whorgies with the likes of Jane Fonda, Roger Vadim, Sharon Tate and Roman Polanski.
I´ve been able to watch more films this year, as we have more student interns working the installation leaving us quality time to concentrate on our proper hosting duties. Our interns are an international crop of pre-pubescent beauty pies representing Switzerland, Spain, Turkey, Hungary, France and Italy. One of the boys, Clement is a square jawed philosophy student, who is driving all the lecherous faggots who come to our circular bar wild with desire.
I was able to watch the experimental shorts program that featured a touching film by Marie Losier profiling Mike Kuchar, and my colleguen Tim Blue had two movies- Waters Memory and Happiness For One Day that featured the lovely fearless leader of Cheap Susanne Sachße, in splendid voiceover, and music by Tim, and his younger brother Kjohnny.
Tim´s good friend Paul Rowley co-directed an experimental documentary with Nicky Gogan called Seaview about assylum seekers living in his native Ireland. This is one very important work, and had me literally crying in my seat---its that beautiful, and the talk on the street is its the best film in the entire festival.
The other night we presented a Cheapy Underground Uber Alles Award to Jerry Tartaglia, and after the award ceremony the art band Ruth Fischer performed an impromptu set that was quite the Horton´s hoot. No one in Cheap has gotten laid at the festival, but Lauren, a hot Canadian dyke filmmaker, part of the Cheap/Arsenal extended family managed to score some puddy. Bravo heroine!
I did meet a young, extremely attractive law student by the name of Michael, who has been coming to a lot of my performances in Berlin for many years, and we sat around the bar drinking and talking for hours which was sublime.

AND THE AWARD GOES TO THELMA RITTER
Sunday we gave away the first Cheapie Underground Uber Alles Awards recognizing the best talents in outsider arts. After the Berlinale is over i will post the names and categories of all the winners. Sunday was a tough 14 hour day, thank god the weather has been springlike and aboundant. The gossip studio was invaded by throngs of photographers and media film crews because of a special interview on the gossip studio stage conducted by Marc Siegel of Cheap with poet Patti Smith and Fassbinder actress Irm Hermann. Patti and Irm are in the African Twin Towers installation by Christoph Schlingensief. All the cat walks in the Sony Center were jam packed with the multitudes trying to get a glimpse of the two stars. Later all the commotion was repeated with Isabella Rossellini and Guy Maddin(Guy's new film My Winnipeg is even better then Brand Upon the Brain with old time star Ann Savage playing his mother), during their reception in the Gossip Studio. Guy introduced me to Isabella, i had actually met her years ago when she was married to David Lynch, and they bought the LLoyd Wright house in Los Feliz Village from William Waldron, my ex-paramour. But i didnt feel it was appropriate to go into all that. Isabella looked gorgeous, she´s put on a few pounds from her model days, but it just adds to her overall appeal. Her installation Green Porn which is part of the Gossip Studio, is really the big crowd pleaser second only to our circular bar. If that wasn´t enough yesterday Udo Kier stopped by with the great music filmmaker Peter Sempel. Udo is also in the Schlingensief installation, and wasn´t aware that i had moved from LA to Berlin. It was great seeing him, and he looked amazing, with those mesmerizing eyes of his.
Tonight is the premiere of Otto, the Bruce La Bruce political zombie flick, i am very excited as i have only seen a rough cut, and i´m anxious to view the finished product.

THE TRUTH ABOUT SPRING
Just checked emails after 5 days, and of course everyone is angry that i haven´t written anything more about the Berlinale. Well the Cheap Gossip Studio is a living, breathing installation, and creating it takes its toll on me, add high heels and a famous houseguest, in the illustrious form of the Love Camel(Andrea Novarin) from London´s British Film Institute, and like Tiffany Middlesex, the snaggletooth drag denmother of The Stripes, my last nerve is being worked overtime.
The gala opening of the Gossip Studio was granada with a cavalcade of the very brightest elementals, beginning with sexy underground film legendinas Sherrie Milner and Ernie Larson, teen poet Travis Jeppeson with his beautiful 14 year old Slovakian lover Mario,the Canuckian contingent of Bruce LaBruce with dapper Wayne Baerwaldt, baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, Noam "Alan Ginsberg" Gonick with his pretty Polish childbride, the incredible Peaches, looking absolutely divine, and The Canadian Cultural Attache.
Was personally introduced to Gina of the wild teutonian band Cobra Killer, that i´ve heard so much about, and got a chance to exchange gossip with lovegod DJ Snax, juicy Sheila Chipperfield, the British DJ who use to play bass for Elastica, who comes from a famous circus/carnival family,France´s Nouvelle Vague, Ibadette and Mickey One of the Super 700 who brought along their celebrity lawyer, which is very rock shtar, looking everybit like french rockers dreamy filmmaker Marie Losier and her bubbly beau Sebastian, writer Tim Stüttgen who is doing a profile on Judy LaBruce, and The Vaginal Doll for Der Spiegel, which is like the German newsweek, Felix Grimm from Cheap Club at Podeville,Kreutzberg sweetie pie Anna Muelter of HAU, downtown New York demigod John Hayes with Berlin royal Zazie de Paris, Yusof, the Israeli guru who heads the cult of art fag phallic worship at Basso, pretty boy Ulli of the Forum and his cute eastern bloc girlfriend, Greek underground film curator Vassily Bourakas, art photog Annette Frick with boyfriend Wilhelm Hein, Christoph Chemin who designed a sublime poster for Otto, Up With Dead People,Vanessa Kuhlmann the Balzac Coffee heiress with her rock photo journalista husband Jameel Khaja, Nick Klose and his beau who runs the trendy weenager club Berlin Hilton,Jerry Tartaglia with his lovely assistant Sean Kirk, actor Mario Adorf, Irish filmmakers Paul Rowley and Nick Gogan whose film is being taunted as the best pic in the entire festival, Evi Rüssler, Nico, Aljoscha and Kim of b books, Toby Rauscher of Salzgeber Editions, named after Manfred Salzgebar who founded the Panorama Section of the Berlinale, cute Arsenal intern Wiebke Stadler with her hunky boyfriend Jonas Alexander of Forum Delphi, Claudia Mauti of the Gay & Lesbico Festival of Milano, and of course Tan Bihn Nguyen who not only did my make-up and hair but also styled me and Susanne Sachße, and we looked incredible, if i do say so myself, and i do.
Thats all i have time for now, but i promise to write about Isabella Rossellini, Guy Maddin and Patty Smith all coming by the Gossip Studio on the same day, and the mayhem that insued.