THE RED SHOES

Saw Robert Altman’s new ballet movie "The Company". For some reason it kept reminding me of his 70s films "Quintet" and "A Wedding" I liked it. Neve Cambell was surprisingly good for once. I guess she started off as a dancer back in her native Canucky. Also that lush James Franco kept giving me a boneaid. Little Jimmy needs to become my sex husb. One thingy that Mr. Altman really got down was the bad fashion sense of dancers. They have hot bodies, but outside of tights they always choose the worst clothing combinations.

THE DAY THE CLOWN CRIED

Got this emug from my olde punque rock pal Bob who lives in the Southwest and has been a fixture in that regions alterna scene for years.

"I know this is horrible news, but it is true, Dave Nash just called me and told me about it. But all he knew so far is that Chris (ex meat
puppet and close friend of long time past) was with his girlfriend at the Post Office and for whatever reason, and I don't have all the facts
straight yet, but a policeman tried to arrest him and he grabbed the club from the cop and started beating him with it, then he gets shot in the back by another cop. This is really hurtful news for me because the last I heard was that he was doing quite well and laying off the
crack and just sticking to his small dose of daily methadone--like most of us ex-heroin addicts. But if anyone has any MORE news that I'm
missing about this, PLEASE fill me in, as I'm calling his ex-girlfriend
right now to tell her about it.

luv all,

bob


"Junk is the ideal product.... the ultimate merchandise. No sales talknecessary. The client will crawl through a sewer and beg to buy....The junk merchant does not sell his product to the consumer, he sells
the consumer to his product. He does not improve and simplify hismerchandise. He degrades and simplifies the client. He pays his staff in junk."
--William Burroughs

FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD

Alan Bates died. He was one of my favorite British actors. The only part he played that I didn’t care for was when he was opposite Bette Midler in The Rose.

I love his homoerotic nude wrestling match with Oliver Reed in Women in Love. I useto have such a crush on Oliver Reed, especially his role in the movie Oliver.

***

Did I mention that I attended a gorgeous birthday dinner party for Lenny, the young elder, the owner of the Parlour Club. Yes the food was heavenly all vegan, and what a healthy, luxor-ious feast it was. I could easily become a vegetarian, eating morsels of that magnitude. The chef was none other then the beautiful Daphne Cousineau, late of Vivende-Universal. Daphne and her husband Olivier have a sweet baby son who is just 3 months old. What an incredible child! I don’t like children, but I immediately fell in love with this one. What a perfect baby. Never cried or fussed once. Olivier and Daphne are returning to France, which really makes me sad. I adore them. Got to also meet Olivier’s younger brother. What a stone foxxxx, with his dark hair, and pale pre-raphelite skin. Yum yum. Also at the party was the director of the movie, "A River Runs Through It" He was nice and charming, but I forgot his name. If I’m not interested in sleeping with someone its difficult for me to remember them. Sorry.

OH YOU'RE SO JOAN DIDION

Bricktops Bricktops and more Bricktops. So many Pola Negri's and so little time. Special Guest Lola Tawdry the great granddaughter of Marlene Deitrich put on the show of shows with Mr. Uncertain accompanying her on the P. So many well dressed dolly's and mortimers including a handsome fellow in a raccoon coat who was part of the posse of Mike Skinner aka: The Streets, the British white rapper who is so adorably cutateous. He has the most soulfould expressive eyes, and was flirting with me in that tranny chaser like way, though i felt like i looked horrible in one of my sequined gowns that belonged to this dead Imperial Court queen. The dress is velvet and lovely though i usually don't go for the sparkle and spangle approach to drag, but alas it is holiday season. Artist Alexander de Cadenet became quite enamored of my visiting pal John Sanchez, looking so lickable and perfect. John works for Martha Stewart, the lucky devil. I'm one of Martha's biggest fans and Mr. Uncertain wrote a tribute song to her, that wowed the crowd. My old pal Courtney Taylor of the Dandy Warhols came by with his bick dicked self, he had in tow with him that sizzling little Johnny Robinson from Gus Van Sant's Elefant flick and briteen actor Ben Chaplin who has stained teeth. I don't care i'd still do him. Don Spiro was taking a lot of pics with his gorgeous wifette Augusta by his side. Seattle's Jimothy Jones of Sub-Pop fame was a no show, though he had called earlier that he was coming to the club. I guess he got sicktracked by a date, most likely not a black man, since i doubt he's a dinge queen anymore.
Had a great time hanging with Charity Hope Valentine and Dax oh and lets not forget Pirate Jenny who outdid her self in the DJ booth and brought the Negri film One Arabian Night that everyone was stroking to in the backroom. After the club Dax took us out for Veggie Burgs at Astro.

FIGGY PUDDING

oh thank goodness the tired Christmas is over with. I didn't grow up celebrating holidays so i don't share in this sentimental attachment towards this time of the year. Of course fans insist on sending me presents even though i tell them to just donate to my favorite charity The HollyGrove Orphanage in Hollywood. Hollygrove is where Marilyn Monroe spent some of her formative years. I've always felt like an orphan. Now that my mother is dead the feeling has intensified.
Had a nice time cooking dinner with my husband's wife Charity Hope Valentine. Miss Charity has been living in Austin Texas with a beau. The relationship didn't work out and now she's back on Broadway. No just here in Los Ang for awhile. She may relocate to the Bay area.
After dinner we were joined by the jubilant Summer Peaches, late of the Velvet Hammer Heritage Burlesque Review. I adore Miss Summer, she is an old fashion good time gal.

Last Fridays Bricktops was a joint celebration of all things Lon Chaney and pagan holidazing. Mr. Uncertain brought out his Chaneyesque persona, He Who Cannot Be Named to riotious results. That sweet little Uncertain boy just gets better and better. I had a bit of a flirtation with this young basketball star named Chris Kaman who plays with a team called The Clippers. I know nothing about basketball or the team he plays with or how or why he wound up at Bricktops, but he has a big white penis and i got to make out with him and jack him off in the DJ booth, which was good clean nasty fun. He even left a stain on my dress like I'm Monica P. Lewinsky.

I hate it when people Instant Message me. They always do it at the worse time, when i'm busy with lady business. But i always enjoy my cyber conversations with my favorite sister of the clothe Glenndetta of NYC. Here is a bit of our edited down conversation:

Glenn: hey stranger lady
VAGDAVIS: oh gorgeous Italian hunk. I love you i miss you
VAGDAVIS: Have you been traveling the orient sticking your largesse in tiny asian holes
Glenn: oh yes but i'm back in tired NY now
VAGDAVIS: how long were you gone?
Glenn: 2 months
VAGDAVIS: wow. what were your covering?
Glenn: I was in New Zealand, Hong Kong, and mainland China travel stuff mostly
interviews for Conde Nast Traveler....
VAGDAVIS: Who did you interview?
Glenn: a hong kong socialite, indigenous people in New Zealand, a Chinese punk band
called Miserable Faith
I need to go exercise so I don't feel like a lazy slobo
VAGDAVIS: bye I love you!!!

Bricktops "Gloria Swanson Sunset Blvd Nite" was utterly zierish. The lovely and talented Miss Kitty Diggens was captivating in Ziegfeld girl realness---- and everyone was talking about how she resembles Gloria Swanson at the height of her silent film career. Shannon Roberts of the Montrose Hills also stopped by and did one of her tap dance installations. Of course she awed the crowd and it was great having her back in the Bricky fold. Mr. Uncertain premiered a new song called "Bitchcakes" that was a crowd pleaser.

Bubble butt beauty Ben Adair brought his delish girlfriend Shoshanna to the club as part of her birthday celebration. Ben was one of the LA Weekly’s star youth reporters under Sue Horton. Now he’s working with National Public Radio. I adored his posse of vivacious friends.

Was introduced to Casey Wasserman, the 29 year old grandson of the legendary chairman of MCA--- Lew Wasserman, he was with Royd Tolkien the great grandson of J.R.R. Tolkien, creator of Lord of the Rings. They didn’t look like they were enjoying themselves, but surprisingly stayed around to closing. You just never know whose path you’ll cross at Bricktops.

The scintilating Rebecca Del Rio, the muse of David Lynch was also floating and flirting about along with Entertainment Tonight producer and legendary punk rock beauty Jane Cantillon, and it seemed like everbody was drinking my new holiday concoction Nig Nog. Even director Spike Jonze was throwing them back like gingerale. I didn’t really have time to chit chat with Spike so he kind of brooded in the corner with a really hot latin looking boy with big titties, overly groomed eyebrows, and a masculine rough around the edges face. I also met this tall good looking graduate student from USC who brought a bunch of nice friends with him. Every week at Bricktops its a different crowd. I never know what to expect which is the best thing about doing the club.

Spike Jonze heir to the Spiegle Catalogue Fortune called me today, and left a message on my voicemail. I haven't talked to him in ages. Not since he was the editor of the boy version of Sassy Magazine called Dirt. Back then he was a homo going out with this sexy thin boy who later became a singer. I guess now that he is divorcing Sofia Coppolla, he's interested again in people from his past.
He sez he's coming to Bricktops 2nite. We'll see.

Was over at someone's house and i got to see the TV show starring socialite Paris HIlton and Nicole Richie called The Simple Life. I don't know if its because i don't own a TV so when i get to watch something its a novelty, but i really liked the program. As far as reality TV goes.

Poor Paris and her buttless body teetering on those high heeled shoes. Ms. Hilton is just a product of her times, and while i've made fun of her in the past i find her somewhat endearing in this program. I also like Nicole Ritchie. She throws out some delicious zingers like wanting to have a hot buttered threegy with the handsome teenage farmboy they are living with. That would really be a hot way for the girls to go. Hunky farm boys is the way to keep em down on the farm. I know it would work wonders with me. Nicole also fist fucks a cow. The show is really unexepectedly daring. For the sequel they should have the two living in the projects with a black ghetto family. I think the girls could get into it.


i love getting emugs from Professor Doyle when she's abroad, and since she'll be back Tuesday this will most likely be the last one that i share with you out in Blogland:


i love your taste.
well toussaint turned out to me more or less of a winner. easy-going, cute (he's a dead ringer for antonio banderas!) - came into some family money, so has a really nice pad (in one of the prettiest villages i've seen here) and generous ways. he's 32, and if he didn't talk so damned much (a real chatterbox!) i'd try and make him my husband!
he took me to see some new nature spots i hadn't been to - one look-out point form which you can la mer - and then we saw his baby olive trees, and made out lots. he carried me around - he seems to like the idea that he can pick me up and throw me about, making me squeal like a schoolgirl.
i'm very tired, as it was hard to sleep with him - he kept molesting me, kept talking talking talking - but am having a good time, as they say.
weather here is wintery but sunny and gorgeous.
xxoo
jennifer

another cute letter all the way from Montpellier, France:


I come back on tuesday afternoon and i'll be hungry for the company of friends!


i'm so bummed i'm going to miss the party for lenny. i luv seeing andrew outside of the parlor, and i've been wanting to sit down w/ daphne and olivier for years now.


bricktops sounds like it's as strong as ever. that gwyn turner. i'm not, as you say, featuring her lately. i really don't appreciate how she tried to fuck w/ my personal life. i can really hold a grudge, too.


speaking of yves montand,


things got much less dull here this morning - first, i went to the market at the town next door and ran into practically every menacing looking thug i know in the area whom i have a crush on. they of course all know me now, and stopped and gave friendly three-kisses-bec. it's le sud greetings, we chatted, I pet their rottweiler/shepard/bulldogs and went merrily on my way (looking for rillete de canard and good saussison sec).


anyway, when i got back i needed help with some wood that was delivered to the house for a construction project, but which was left in the street for me to bring into the house. one of my friends here set me up with a friend of his who came by this morning to lend a hand.


he's a french cutie - black hair, brown eyes, big nose - tall, very hunky, manly. his name is toussant, and he's a landscaper and specializes in the cultivation of olive trees. while he was helping me some of his friends stopped by - another landscaper (blond, blue eyes, weathered in a sexy germanic sort of way) and a mulatto-arab romantic fantasy (long thick hair tied back, big brown eyes, and quiet as a mouse). They all pitched in with getting the wood into the basement, and i made them coffee & a snack... it was great.


anyway, toussant is coming by later to take me on a tour of his olive grove! i like the way that sounds!


did the guys come by and do stuff in my apartment? i hope they weren't too much of a bother!


xxoo


jennifer

Gosh i keep bumping into people today. Someone from my not so distant past, Mathieu Kassovitz the actor (Amelie)and director of the recent film Gothika(which i havent seen) that stars Ms. Halle-tosis Berry. Mathieu is dedicated to autoeroticism. He conducts sex as a series of mechanical experiences, unrelated to bodies, minds, men or women.

Ran into Ken Roht of the Evidence Room Theatre Company in the Silverlake Junction. He's such a calming figure, vivacious yet gentle and soft spoken---my favorite type of person, so unlike most theatre people. I saw his production "He Pounces" a while back and loved it. He has a new piece that has something to do with "The 99cent Store" sounds like another hot concept. Theatre in LA gets a bad rap, because most of it is just tired actors trying to get noticed for commercial work, but there is this other element that is more experimental and not concerned with the three horned peni beast which is the mediocre entertainment world of movies, TV and the lame recording industry. Hopefully i can talk one of my gainfully employed pals into treating me to see this performance at the Evidence Room, which is one of the most comfortable spaces if not THE most comfy and congenial, doing great work in the city.

Bricktops one year anniversary party was filled with hilarious hijinks. Thanks to one and all for making Bricktops the delight that it has been for everyone involved.
Special kudos to Andrew of Gould, the Parlour Mgr for making the delicious cucumber sandwiches. By the evenings end, there wasn’t one left. Andrew also cultivated the trees that we used for making all that champagne. Andrew is soooo sweet and cute with his giant English rose of a penis, and works the hardest making things run smoothly and also helping promoting the club by designing the best fliers and posters imaginable and coming up with the ultimate in creative ideas.

The entire staff at the Parlour are wonderful to work with. Head bartender Kim from North Korea is just a pretty lady of wondermint and the other bartenders, Cynthia, Josh, Keoka and Sebastian really know how to treat customers and have no qualms about going that extra distance with providing top notch service,
whether its chewing out knatty pussy or munching on crunchy bunghole. Oh and I can’t forget owner Lenny the young elder or barback Rubencito from El Salvador who is one humpy little pupusa. I use Rubens hot salsa semen as a wrinkle remover and moisturizer. And as you can tell by looking at me it works wonders.

Helping us celebrate was LA’s lengendary DJ and club impressario Henry Peck, who is one of my first nation sisters. Also the entire Hansen Family clan: Bibbe, Channing and Beck minus his Ribisi girlfriend. Also on hand artist and filmmaker Sean Carrillo, legends legend kristian hoffman, doran of the scintilating vancouver mag Bloody Beautiful, glamorous dykon Gwen Turner doing the things that only Gwen Turner can get away with. Dancing the charleston together was the odd coupling of Angels in America star Justin Kirk and Tim Armstrong of Rancid.

Special thanks to Immanual Martin De La Falaise for his genius installation "Love Letters From Walter Grobius" Immanuel looked amazing in his pristine suit
typing on a vintage german typewriter. The Walter Grobius character is part of a larger art project so if you want to know more about it please contact Immanual via his web site at: http://cuteyhoney.com/walter/walter.htm

Our other installation involved actor/director Cesar Vega of the upcoming Che Guevera biopic. He was sprawled out on a bed of aber portraying a sexy latin silent screen star. Everyone wanted to get under the covers with Cesar and grab his 13 inch chorizo. Thank you Mr. Vega for letting the horny Bricktops crowd manhandle you.

Seen watching all the excitement unfold: Paddy Considine, St. Louis basketball star Anthony Drejay, Sundance film festival’s Shari Frilot, and Steak of Steakhause Productions.

Mr. Uncertain was his usual suave self and had assistance on stage by a special celebrity crooner who shall remain nameless and Vaginal Davis went modern by singing Mary J. Blige’s "No More Drama" retitled "No More Lesbian Drama" and "Family Affair" while DJ. Latin Gatsby aka: Hector "Smegma" Martinez and Bernice BobsHerHair had a field day keeping the crowd on their feet.

Next Friday its Gloria Swanson Nite with a performance by the Czarina of burlesque Kitty Diggens and hopefully some new erotica by Swiss hunk Cyril Kuhn of the C-Level Collective and a tap dance installation by Shannon Roberts of the Montrose Hills.


Mark Murphy of The Walt Disney Hall’s Redcat Experimental Theatre invited me to see a performance by the Deja Donne Company from Prague. I brought a host of visiting dignataries including Mr. De La Falaise, Patty Powers, writer Lisa Teasley and Anderson Cooper. The Slavic dance troupe gave a spirited performance. Two of the boys were very sexy in that eastern European way I sometimes fancy. I loved how most of the girls and one boy didn’t exactly have dancer bodies, or at least not the bullemic type bodies we’re accostomed to seeing in our ballet and modern dance companies. I was a little disappointed that all the violent sex and dance play/histrionics wasn’t done in the nude from the very beginning. If ever there was a piece that called for nakedness throughout its this one. Saving it for the end with just a tease ruined the impact of what came before. Plus those costumes that looked like they were from Old Navy certainly didn’t give me a Martha Graham Wowzina.

Finally saw the flick, The Human Stain starring Anthony Hopkins and Nicole Kidman. Sir Hopkins as a light skinned black man impersonating a jew strained all believability, but it was still a nice effort and enjoyable nonetheless especially the flashback sequences with Wentworth Miller as the young Sir Hop.
Mr. Miller has been to Bricktops a few times, and really is high high yeller. So high he doesn’t look like he has any negroid in him at all. Its odd seeing someone in person a few weeks ago then watching them in a movie. Anne Devere Smith was also in the cast and used to nice effect.

Oh just got an email from someone who was thrilled to meet Daniel Sunjata from Broadway’s gay baseball play "Take Me Out" at Bricktops on Friday. I slightly remember taking a picture of a very hunky guy, but I never recognize celebrities.

Spent all of Saturday until the wee hours writing this essay for the Thread Waxing Space Catalogue. Of course I’m no where near being finished. Left my studio at around 11:30 and while on the Metro I gave the gacy glare to this hot Japanese boy sitting across from me. He had porceline skin and full lips and when he sat down I noticed that he was very tall and lithe. I’m such the rice queen, well I figured he was Japanese from Japan, because Japanese Americans never give me the time of day. He gave me a look and a warm smile so I said, "You're coming home with me, NOW!"

THe beauty is in Los Angeles going to school at UCLA and is only 21 years old. Boy was I surprised when I took off his clothes and discovered washboard abs, fat juicy titties, and an ass to build a dream on. He reminded me of a young version of Takoa from the Dumb Type art collective.

I gobbled this fresh young boy alive, eating every orifice and creating holes on him that weren’t there before. He got me so excited that my angry 3 inch Clitoris was all mack mama, and i didn't need any Viagra to plow him over and over again. I made the boy have 5 orgasms in a row. See what happens when you don't get sex on a regular basis.

Needless to say I didn’t get much sleep last night and so I’m late in arriving to the studio today. Thank god Javier of the Peres Projects Gallery called and cancelled our bruncheon date.

Also got a call from my godson Immanuel de Falaise who will be visiting LA on his way to Japan to see his ex-wife and daughter. My godson is also an olde school rice queen. I’m making Immanuel be in an installation at Bricktops on Friday. He will be typing love letters from Walter Gropius on a vintage typewriter. What a hoot it will be.

Tony Thompson the drummer of Chic and Power Station died this week. He was only 48 years old. I met him once in New York in the early 80s and he was very nice and kindof sexy. He was doing session work for Madonna’s "Like a Virgin" album and David Bowie’s "Let’s Dance" at the time.

More from the great Judy La Bruce. No one writes an emug like Lady Judy:

hi cuntessa: i'm kinda low today. i went to see sherry vine perform last night at big eden. it was the last night of her six week run with two
female back up singers, the vinettes. she's nice, and she looked great, i have to say. for a
fortysomething, she was thin as a railway child and her legs were muscular and long. i'm not much into drag, but she did an all black music routine so it was fun to hum along. of course i was on speed, so maybe i wasn't humming at all. (i had to go see her because she has a
little cameo in my movie, playing a drag patty hearst gay terrorist-themed club host. it should have been you, by rights, but we couldn't afford to bring you in.) i had a little slip last night. i haven't been going out much at all, but i needed to get laid last night really badly because it had been three weeks. so i ended up at the tubs. i can't believe german dick. they are all so hung, and the cockature is
so nicely put. i'm glad i don't live here or they would kill me eventually. the only other time i was drunk was when i went to see peaches open for marilyn masonite at the velledrome with my friend rosemary from toronto who is staying with peaches. we went back stage
and then to an after party she had where there was beer, scotch, coke, pot, and champagne, not in that order. the next day i had to fly to stockholm but i was so hungover i couldn't get out of bed. sussane had to come over and pull me out and help dress me and drive me to the airport. i felt like chris reeve. i never would have made it without her. i am definitely getting old lang syne. nice to hear belinda is still true to her blond roots. i think i'm going to come to LA after my photo exhibit in dallas, which is around jan 8th or tenth, and then just stay until sundance and go from Los An. i think susanne is going to come. she's more excited than i am. i am kind of burnt out on the project right now, so quite frankly i would be blase even if it were cannes-ed heat. well, i better go read page 6 and see what paris is up to. three more weeks here and then i'm reunited with the muslim and it will feel so good. did i tell you kembra and i had a nice time when she visited toronto before i left. will munro rented a car and drove us to
niagra falls which she had never had and of course she's obssessed with
niagra starring Monroe. but kembra was chicken and wouldn't even go
under the falls. she's like you. and when she went over to look at the
falls she had to crawl on her hands and knees. and then we went to a
house of horrors and it was scary because they hire college students to
jump out and scare you with masks on. kembra was on the floor again. we
had to lead three little girls to the exit because they were scared
witless. back in toronto we watched Secret Ceremony with taylor and
farrow, which kembra had also not seen. she loved it. robert mitchum has
the best lines: 'you mysterious bitch!", he said of liz, and of mia, 'a
retarded zombie'. chillingly accurate. xxx blab

another cute note from Bruce "Judy" La Bruce, daughter of the late great Ms. GarlandJ
somewhere in Berlin:

hi sweetie: just a note to say high. guess wot. raspberry reich got accepted at sundance. kenya believe it? just a midnight spot, but
still. it's so hardcore, in more ways than one. they must be desperate for material. susanne will be thrilled. just found out today so haven't had a chance to tell her yet. problem is, the movie is far from finished and kind of sags at the end. time is running
out. ouch. xxx blab

An emug from my Italian friend living in London:

Hello Miss Davis,

how are things with me?? Well, to start with, I have a new job since last sepember and I have just been promoted before my probation period was over. Apart from that, I have started a second job to raise some pocket money since last summer, that is being a
dominant master/escort and that is good money! lol
Gotten any good dick?? Not really, I am quite busy and haven't done almost any sex apart from the escort work.
It is highly possible that I will spend my 2 week
holiday in San Francisco at the end of
February/beginning of March so I might pop in LA for a quick visit and a hello...
Finally, life is weird... the same day I wrote you my last e-mail I received the dvd box sets of the first two series of Tales of the City (I saw the first one few years ago) and I casually put on the second dvd of
the first series and.... there was you, introducing
Micheal Mouse Tolliver on stage!!!

Hullaballoos

Andrea

***

Palm Springs Thanksgiving. Ron and I hit the open road Wednesday morning in an effort to beat the holiday traffik. Good idea. It was smooth sailing out to the desert. I hate long car rides and Ron's tiny pick-up truck isn’t very comfortable for a big boned gal like me. We stopped outside of The Springs for a cunty country breakfast at Grandma’s Eat Shack. Yummy doodle. I even bought a boy-zenberry pie for my pie face. Made another pit stop at the Designy Outletteria. I bought a velour Puma jogging suit and trainers. I’m very Missy "Bulldagger" Elliot. I’m so fancy I can’t stand myself. Also went to Calvin of Klein and bought some nice fitting skivvies. I deserve to treat the boy drag me to something nice once in a while, even though I can’t afford it.

Crepe Suzette Matheson’s desert compound is gorgeous. It use to belong to Zsa Zsa Gabor. The house is a prime case study of the 50’s with a circular swimming pool---just stunning and with weather to match. Suzette’s closet next door neighbor is Barry Manilow who lives up the hill. Rumour has it he gets a massage and fist fuck service every week. Rap on Miss Mani!!!!!! Get that Lola nut!
I helped Daddy Athey cook all day on Wednesday, we even had time to visit his friend James who lives in another lovely case study. We also checked out several dull gay bars. A hot leather man in chaps with a giant buttocks was giving dadster the hairy eyeball, but he wanted to be courted and Daddy wasn’t in the mood. Suzette and her filmmaking tyro roommate Beautiful Brian Hacker arrived around 2am.

Suzette is looking really pretty and BB is one hot bubble butt jewish god. I think i make him nervous with my gacy glare always mentally undressing the poor fellow. Oh welp, what can i say----I'm a dastardly horn pig, who can't resist a good looking piece of kosher meat.

Thanksgiving morning we cook the damn bird and feast by 1pm. Cyril and Karene join us and after stuffing our faces we go into the hills for a sweet honey in the rock hike. I hitch a ride back to LA with Cyril and Karene in their comfy Volvo stationwagon. Absolutely no traffic and we get back in less then 2 hours. Ron and Suzette are staying until Monday I think, but I’m not that much of a nature girl, plus i don't want to be exhausted for Bricktops.

Bricktops Friday is very intimate. Not that many celebs, but surprisingly Belinda Carlisle of the Go-Go’s came by. I guess she was visiting her family in Thousand Oaks. She looks good. We had a nice girlish chat in the bathroom right before I went on stage. My bathtub gin baby Michael, had this friend with a big fat ass. I sure wanted to eat this young boy out. He was just beyond gorgeau. Dan Weinstein, trumpet/violin virtuoso was our special guest and the theme was Coleen Moore, who is the other bob’d actress from the 1920’s. We showed her movie Twinkletoes.

Lisa Cohen the SouthAfrican poet/painter who now lives in New Orleans paid me a surprise visit. I’ve known her for over 20 years and she looks amazing. She has a 13 year old daughter. Last time I saw her was when I was in New Orleans on tour with Margaret Cho and she hung out with me the entire evening. She also knows Sean Carrillo from when they were both students at Parsons. She hit it off with Bibbe Hansen as well.
Oh don’t let me forget to tell you that the German Actress Diane Kruger who I met when I was living in Berlin came by Bricktops with her sexylean french husband Guillaume Canet. Diane is in two high profile films that will be released soon, Troy and Wicker Park.

Went with my lady girlfriend Glen Meadmore to the Loew’s Hotel in Aunt Monica to attend this exclusive presentation of Indian Arts and also introducing Canadian Indian Nations economic development and collaboration efforts with United States Indian Nations. The event was organized by Glen’s mother Marian Ironquill. Yes Glen’s mom is a full blooded Cree Indian who grew up on a reservation in the Manitoba province of la Canada. I think the reason why me and Glen have always connected as best girlfriends is our native American roots. My Grandmother Mama Sarah was a full blooded Choctaw Indian.

It was wonderfull getting down with my Indian brethren. Talk about a wise and imposing people---the ballroom was filled with quiet dignity and repose. Lots of celebs on hand as well, like drug adled actor Gary Busey who also has an Indian grandmother, and the guest of honor Floyd "Red Crow" Westerman of the Dakota tribe whose prolific career includes films such as Dances with Wolves and touring with Sting and Chief Raoni of the Kayapo Indian Nation of the Amazon in support of the Rain Forest Foundation Project.

The older Ms. Meadmore gets the more Indian she looks. Her father is British. Thats where she gets her strikingly pretty blue eyes and pale skin. But she is definitely an Indian woman at the core. I wish she would tap more into the wisdom and comfort of her people and organic spirituality. That part of her culture is so rich, deserving and fascinating. Something tells me she will eventually grow tired of her worldly and secular pursuits and take a path that embodies her Indian grace.

Another person who comes from a background that is incredibly bejeweled
is Lenny, the young elder of the Parlour Club. Lenny is Andrew of Gould’s male husband. Lenny is a gypsy. He has these beautiful slanted eyes and dark coloring that is very unique. In his house there is a picture of him wearing glasses when he was a lot younger that exudes a sexy exotic charm. Lenny should really lather in the mystery and rebelliousness of Gypsy mysticism.

Bricktops how you always keep me surprised and amused. Friday was our salute to Ramon Novarro the silent screen faggot who got killed by two hustlers in 1968 that stuffed a marble dildo statue up his bungholia.

Lots of visiting dignataries paying their respects, including Bob Nickas, the founding editor of NYC’s Index Magazine and now a senior editor at ArtForum. It was great seeing Bob----he is the ultimate campus cut-up and looked wonderful. Also from NYC the legendary bearded lady Jennifer Miller, came with juicy mulatto Malik Gaines(son of artist Charles Gaines) and his boyfriend Alex of My Barbarian.

Turning every homo’s head was the humpy Brazilian sit-up champion Edmar Freitas whose ab-normal 16-pack could easily be seen through his heavy carbolt knit sweater. Well you’d look that good too if you could do 133,986 crunches in 30 hours. Why he came to Bricktops was a mystery, though he looked like he was still having a good time. Oh welp

Cutesy Cubano/Judean art gallery owner Javiar Peres of the edgy hedgy Chinatown Peres Projects brought a bevy of artists in tow. Javiar represents Bruce La Bruce, Asian PunkBoy and others in Los Angeles, and was surrounded by LA art tots Jeff Ono and Dean Shashima. Looking radiant was Abby Travis of Elastica fame with the members of the Jewish rap/polka group Gefelte Fuck!

Director Darren Stein came with a glamour posse while chit chatting with jewelry designer Europa, everyone’s favorite flapper Shauna Leone who I predict is going to become the breakthrough star of the Bricktops scene. Bibbe Hansen was with film editing hubby Sean Carrillo. Bibbe will be performing for our "Love Me or Leave Me, Ruth Etting Night" on January 30th which is also her birthday. So mark it in your calenderia—this is going to be a rare opportunity to see the woman who gave birth to Beck performing.

And was that Stephan Wathne of the famous Wathne’s of Reykjavik, Iceland at the bar humping Louis Garris, the incredibly beautiful young french boy who stars in Bernardo Bertolucci’s new film about a kinky pair of twins called The Dreamers.

Mr. Uncertains’s jazz punk combo Uncertain which features two very lovely young men,
Kenneth Thunder and Cid Arthur, performed to riotous affect. And Mr. Uncertain did a great job accompanying me as we sang a little sick tribute to Michael Jackson that went something like this:

Michael Jacko / Jacko Mike-O Now, child--- what have you done? Tell Miss Bricktops what have you done?
I still believe in you----but tell me what have you done?

Well you get the gist. On a sad note, Gene Anthony Ray who played the bootylicious LeRoy in the 1979 movie Fame and also the 80s TV show died of complications of Mrs. AIDS. I remember Gene dancing the night away with his dancer pals at Rage on Mondays in the mid 80s.

Why is it that dancers have such an off style sense? They have great bodies, but always wear the ill-est outfits.

Oh I finally saw that Israeli movie Yossi and Jagger. I’ve always been a staunch admirer of Israeli soldiers, so this movie was a nice treat, though it needed to show more skin.

ran into Iris Parker of Madame X on Sunset Plaza. She was with the great Bernadette Cooper of Klymaxx fame. Hot hot hot.
Finally saw Gus' "Elephant" Geniustrata if i do say so myself. Those cute boys in the film, photographed with slavish love. The best movie to really get what its actually like in high school. 14 stars for Gus "Michael Jackson" Van Sant

Another little note from my famous movie directrice friend Miss Judy LaBruce:

oh oh tell me more javier stories. i know he's been pulling threegies
with st'eve and glen. but twat else? Hollywood is so over. i go to
pottsdamer platypus here to see the unsubtitled english movies when i
get an afternoon off, so i went to see matrix 3 and the italian hand
job. they're both so very bad in different ways. talk about casually
fascist. godard said it about klute, but these movies make klute look
like king: from montgomery to memphis. i also feel myself slowly
withdrawing from everything, but it's okay. we'll know when to insert
ourselves when the time is right. xxx blab

had a meeting with cute mu-latto Malik of My Barbarian who is curating this LA City Colored People art show at the Luckman Gallery and Folk and Craft Museum on Wilshire across from LACMA. I guess i'm going to have some of my lost lady paintings in the show. Malik is so cute and tasty. He should become a movie actor. I bet his little tight ass would make a nice garden salad---hold the oil and vinegrette.
had a million errands to run. thank god the tired trains and busses are back running. Decided to treat myself to a movie. Saw charles Busche's "Die, Mommy Die" Very cute, though Charles is getting a little too long on the tooth to play an aging Susan Hayward, not that Susan & Co didn't look like a man in the 60s but Charles has a masculine face and some of those close-ups were not that flattering to him though he is a very good actor and that mainstream showbiz kind of way. I adored Natasha Lyonne and Jason Priestly who actually does have a very large penis. And that new kind who played the gay son, what a cute pale skinned body he possessed----yum and the two hunks who do a full frontal. The camera should have lingered. Also for the heck saw the last Matrixie flick. Dullardsville. The last one was bad, but at least there was the lesbian heart fisting scene, and in this one instead of the awful crusty rave they substituted a misguided salute to Club Fuck, wasting Monica Belluci and the movie goers time.

A little emug from my favorite sister of the clothe, the first lady of Canadian Canamultra, the divine Bruce La Bruce who is in Berlin finishing up her latest film opus:

Hi Mulina: indispensable, as usual. what's up with Castrato (Bruce's nemesis Ricky Castro) these days
anyhow? is he still living off his six figure settlement courtesy of the
city of Los An? Still practicing voodoo? still grifting? just curious
george. i had a nice dinner at a punk italian pizza restaurant here in
berlin the other night with susanne and mark and daniel. it was quite
civilized. just finishing up my movie here. we're reshooting the last
scene on saturday and enlisting a real live baby. i hope it's sunny. the
day, not the baby. berlin can be quite overbearing this time of year.
when she wants to be overcast and dour and brooding, she really does it
like no other. i'm currently being shuffled like the dailies between
friends' apartments, so it's a little tedious. i shouldn't complain
because they're all excellent hosts and i have my own room and what not,
which is about the size of my apartment in toronto. i think i may come
to LA for new years or shortly thereafter. is there a bricky around new
years? i have a photo exhib in dallas on around the 9th of jan, so i
thought i'd come down early. ron mentioned something about a party at
udoze in palm springs. i'm off to stockholm in a few weeks for an
ill-advised appearance at some festival called shame. don't really need
to see stockholm, but i do have a follwing there and i need the bread.
ok doll write when you have the time. xxx blab

Got this emug from the gorgeously hunky and talented stud of all studs Brian Grillo formerly of Extra Fancy and Lock-Up. His day job is house painter to the stars, and he has so many wonderful stories about his experiences that he must put them together in a book. I have to share his latest note:

I'll tell you ,sometimes I hate being a house painter but it does have it's classic Hollywad Glamour shot picture postcard moments!Like the Billionaire German CEO and his ex hustler/live in lover who could afford
to hire his own hustlers to fist him every time daddy left town.Quote:"being fisted keeps me sober".They had this old hard as nails German maid that would drive up from Lomita reeking of alcohol, and the day after she found a bag of dildos in thier closet, I caught her gulping down a bottle of thier vintage wine in the
laundry room.She didnt last long.The next maid was a quiet Swedish girl whom they left in charge of the house while they were out of town attending to thier N.Y C.loft.They suprized her by coming home early to a huge party with broken bottles,vomit,and a couple
going at it in their bed.The landscaper was this sexy studly cutie excpt they found out after giving him 2000 dollars to buy plants for thier carp pond,and him coming back with one scraggly moss like plant,that he had a crystal meth problem.My Boss was so mad that he
pushed him in the pond.And then the time that they let me watch the house for the weekend and I made the mistake of bringing Susan Tyrell over....If you spill beer on a vintage persian carpet you can never get the smell out...moving the chair over the spot didn't work
and I was let go soon after...LOVE IT!! I loved
when Janet Charleton (ex columnist with The Star Tabloid) would rent out her house for video shoots and the producers would keep her baracaded at the far end of her house where she was unable to talk to the
stars...that must have been tough
***
been a little down in the depths of the 90th floor with some congestion that hit me out of nowhere. Last week I was at Hector’s lovely little Day of the Dead gathering---a very sweet party indeed. Loved meeting Hector’s baby brother who is quite the scholar and his fiance and cuddly pals. My handsome manly escorts were Dan Peiera and Cesar Vega.

Didn’t get much work finished this week other then meeting the Alpert Award deadline. That was my number one priority. Did manage to catch the flick Shattered Glass with Star Wars hottie Hayden Christianson and Chloe Sevigny. Hayden doesn’t know it yet, but he’s my new husband. I’m already preggers with his mongoloid child. Ms. Shattered Glass is a petula of a movie. I give it the Vagimulic re-commend. Its about that writer with the New Republic Magazine that faked all his stories. Like that is something unusual. Please. All of journalism these days is just entertainment fiction.
An unusual storm came this week that dropped snow in Watts of all places. I was so out of it I missed a great vegan dinner party thrown by the talented and lovely Professor Jennifer Doyle.

Edgar Bronfman Jr. Has come back into my life. I’ve known him since the 1980s, and we’ve shared a curious dinge queen/hava nagila queen fascination with each other. Oh get your mind out of the gutterdam. We’ve never had sex---if thats what you’re thinking. Our relationship is more complicated then that. Bronf, as i call him, must be almost 50 years old now. The last time I saw him, he looked really young still. How he keeps from aging is the biggest secret in Christendom.

Bricktops Friday was extremely charming. Nice crowd of kids and the performance by Creekbird of Montreal was utterly panublial. Creekbird really went way out in utilizing the Charlie Chaplin, Little Tramp theme. He and his back up musicians were all done up as Mack Sennett’s Keystone Kops! Truelly brilliant, as the English say. I adore Creekbirds visual flair and performance art sensibilities. He is an underated treasure. Mr. Uncertain also shined with a nifty rendition of the standard "Lady Be Good" sung in a rapper’s bragaoccio style. Later Mr Uncertain accompanied me on the Bricktop theme song which was all about being insane and bipolar.
A lot of the audience could definitely relate to that. Every week i change the theme song a bit. Then I sang another one of my originals, "Small Whyte House" that I mixed with "Before the Parade Passes By"

The festive crowd included good time party artists Tulsa Kinny with Gordy Grundy, musicians musician Kid Congo Powers(Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds) with Chloe Sevigny, Jeremy Sisto and pretend recluse and writer JT LeRoy. I don’t know about you, but I’m a little OVAH JT’s celebrity grifting.
The hottest couple of the night was high yeller male ingenue Wentworth Miller(Human Stain)
and his date,the pretty Julia Stiles. That Wentworth is one sexyline Octaroon----yummy!
Juicy movie costumer Crepe Suzette Mathelson(Honey) came with director Richard Kelly(Donnie Darko) and everyone’s favorite Tipsyist Gwen Turner (The L Word) was lip locked to gorgeous actress Tara Subkoff. I'm not one to gossip so you didn't hear that from me.

Bricktops was beyond insane Friday. Puke everywhere, shelves behind the bar breaking, toilets overrunning, a missing bartender. Add legends Tommy Gear (The Screamers) and Mickey Cottrell with a high maitenance, snotty, heiress to a family fortune in the handsome form of Cody Franchetti, shamelessly throwing himself on rugged British actor Daniel Craig who plays poet Ted Hughes in the new movie Sylvia and if that isn't enough a young talkative ginger headed ingenue Tom Guiry(Black Hawk Down/Mystic River) who talked my ear off about his 4 year old son. What is a 23 year doing with a child? He needs to be spending all his time in bed with me.
The Fishnet Floozy’s made a jubilant return to our humble stage and really wowed the crowd, staying very true to the 10 cents a dance theme. Somehow I let myself get talked into having an after party for the movie Venus Boyz, which I did think would be cute, but the movies star Dred also wanted to perform, and I really don’t like having two guest stars in one evening. Its more than I can handle, plus the bar owner doesn’t like the club to be performance centered. My main thing when starting Bricktops was I just wanted to create an environment that didn’t rely on either dancing, or performers----just a cool place to hang and be with friends to drink. I have to remind myself to listen to those red flaggs when they are hoisted, and not do things just to be accomodating, I always wind up regretting it.

Craig Lee’s mother Joanna Lee died. She had once been an actress and was in the movie Plan 9 From Outer Space. She also produced, wrote and directed for TV in the 60-80’s. She was a really nice lady. Her son Craig Lee, died in 1992 of Mrs. AIDS. Craig was the music editor for the LA Weekly, and also was in the famed punk band The Bags, with my best girlfriend Alice Bag.
CZ Guest died the other day. She was the famed New York socialite and mother of my ex-pal Cornelia, who I don’t really talk to anymore. We didn't have a falling out, its just that some people are only in your life for a Man-hattan Minute and then you move on to others.
I love those grand old rich ladies, they are always sweet to artist types like myself. CZ Guest came from that tradition. Rich people these days are boring, but CZ Guest was part of that ilk of rich society dames who supported the arts and had parties for artists and would take you to dinner and lavish you with presents and attention, just because it was what should be done which is the role of the wealthy that these awful movie riche people don’t ahere to. Amen. Can i get a testified witness to the prosecution?

delighted to receive an emug from the sexy and talented Daniela Romana who is living in Berlin as a hot expatriate. Daniela has such a large penis that when he fucks his lovers, it sends them to the emergency ward. Here is his letter so that you can enjoy

My dearest,
I have been so remiss in passing on the good gossip from the Vaterland,
that I hear Marcu has occasionally filled in the gaps (as it were). And
it's a good thing too. It seems that a certain libidinally challenged
hustler chaser (who shall remain nameless) was searching the internet for
his own name (make that an egomaniacal libidinally challenged...etc.) and
came across a reference to himself and his pathetic attempts at die grosse
Kunst on the certain website of a certian Dr. Ms. Vaginal Davis, in the
form of an e-mail from our very own Marcita Pepita. Well, I won't go into
the details (they're too tiresome) but suffice it to say that your web site
got a lot of new readers and Christine will never speak to Marcu again. But
this all happened several weeks ago, so let's move onto something more
current affairs-ish.

Susanne continues to be the terrorist queen of the underground here in
Berlin. A couple of hot lesbolicious friends of ours asked her to do some
performances at a dyke club here in Mitte. So, among other things, Susanne
has decided to have a swing built in the club and ride back and forth on it
in a short flimsy dress while a couple of audience members hold fans aimed
at her pussy. While this is going on, she'll be singing the old Zara
Leander classic "Der Wind hat mir ein Lied erzahlt" (The wind told me a
song) accompanied by me, of course. They've also asked her to do a command
repeat performance of her by-now classic "Morning Train", in which she
sings the Shena Easton hit in front of a projected film of her fucking
Marcie up the ass with a big black strap-on. The crowd always eats that one
up.

Bruce is coming next week to finish the cutting of Raspberry Reich. All of
Germany seems to be in a tizzy about the RAF right now, because of a
proposed exhibition about them. This atmosphere of scandal, of course,
couldn't be better publicity for the premiere in February at the Berlin
Flim Festival. They've rounded up a group of German actors to dub the
dialogue because the porn stars sound so stupid when they talk. One of the
dubbers will be our very own Ivan (who has since reclaimed his birth name
of Dragan, which is at any rate much, much sexier). That hot Serbian accent
should be just the trick. They also asked my gorgeous ex-boyfriend Achmed,
but girlfriend has issues. I mean, he's not as fucked up about sex as Rene
is, but you know.

All right, my dear. I simply have to do this more often, because when I
wait so long, there's too much to tell. I have to go now and meet with
Susanne. This swanky art magazine here, seeking to capitalize on her sexy
status, has asked her to contribute something to their 'love' issue.
Susanne, who's terrified of writing, said, "Only if it can be a
collaboration with my boyfriend's boyfriend." So Susanne and I are writing
about love. And we should know.

Speaking of which, love and more love to you.
Nancy

Guess what? Porn star Jeff Palmer lives next door to me. What a discovery. I had noticed for many months that a very muscular fellow lived across the hall, but I had never gotten a good look at him until the other day and he’s the notorious bare backing renegade whose hilarious blog has to be read to be believed. He also nurses a rock n roll career as some kind of singer, his music is very unusual. I wouldn’t say its downright bad, but its not good either. A few weeks ago Mr. Palmer got into a very loud cat fight with his next door neighbor, a nicely built Ethiopian who shares a wall with him and also works at the corner liquor store. What a nutty building I live in. Palmer is from Argentina and it was a hoot hearing him and the Ethiopian carrying on in their broken English. I think the fight had a testostoran Roid Rage sexual tinge to it. Both of them were in each others faces wearing very little.

Oh it just occured to me that homo relationships are really tepid. Adam Hervey of Timonium fame was going out for a long time with this little Filipino named Mario who was crazy for Adam’s big white penis and would do ANYTHING to please him. He was basically supporting Adam and paying for his Pehr Record Label. I had the feeling Adam was taking advantage of him and just using him. I find out my suspicions were correct. The poor Flip got cancer and Adam immediately bailed on him at his worst hour. Ran into Adam with the true love of his life the gorgeous Adam Garcia who moved down here from the Bay Area to be with his rightfully wedded husband. I hope the two Adams are experiencing bliss.

Went back to Redcat to see the premiere of the Kyoto art collective Dumb Type’s second piece "Voyage." It wasn’t as vicerally realized as MemoRandum which is saw last week. The vignettes this time around were too disjointed and didn’t connect, but there were some striking moments. Well you’d have striking too if you had the budget they obviously work with. The Japa who replaced Takoa who is off doing his solo show in India was really young with a rock hard tight body. I’d sure like to snuggle in that piece of sticky rice.

oh my personal gob! They are making a stage musical about the lives of The
Shaggs. The Shaggs are one of my favorite bands. They are three ill girls from New Hampshire whose nutters father made them into this tatty rock band in the late 1960s. Their album, "Philosophy of the World" is pure geniustrata if I do say so myself. When I was doing the club Café Hag, Amoeba Records and Filmworks honcho Keith Holland, his lover Quasi and my Afro Sister Clitoris Turner aka: Mark Maxwell performed as The Shaggs and were a big hit. I’ve been into The Shaggs since around 1980, so its weird to see that they are becoming known in a more mainstream context. Well if John Waters can have a hit Broadway musical based on one of his movies, then anything is possible. Hey, maybe !Cholita! the Broadway musical is next, eh?

All Hallow’s Eve was a roaring hoot. I was really worried since the competition was very stiff. But the rainstorm proved to be a blessing with all the WeHo Carnivale people needing to escape the elements---QUICK, so they all came to Bricktops. Nora of the Centimeters had called with car trouble, so I didn’t think she was going to make it out to perform, but she showed up on time and everything turned out swell. Lots O’ visiting artists came by the club including the entire cast and crew of Dumb Type. Who are performing at the Frank Gehry Walt Disney Music Hall experimental stage called REDCAT. I just love that sexy Takao Kawaguchi and the other girls in the cast including Vivian Wu from the Peter Greenway film The Pillow Book. Also Mark Murphy the executive director of the space came with his cute bubble butt boy posse. Spanish performance art diva Maria La Ribot and her entourage made an appearance, along with the art collective C-Level of Chinatown, the delightful Creekbird who helped Pirate Jenny do Nora’s sound(Creekbird does a return engagement to Bricktops on November 14th), ex-skater boi Jason Lee now an almost famous movie star. Jason lives in Koreatown on Wilshire Blvd at the gorgeous Talmadge Apartment Building across from the Gaylord. I wonder if he is still married to that pretty wife. He sure wasn’t acting like he’s married. I’m not one to gossip so you didn’t hear it from me but he seemed mighty cozy with this lovely French lass named Emmanuelle Vaugier. I’m not going to say another word. Friday sure was a night of art collectives. Heather and her Toxic Titties gang were really ruling the roost. Bibbe Hansen and her young husband Sean Carrillo wore the most intriguing costumes as Amelia Airheart and Charles Lindburgh. Oh and don’t let me forget that Cyril of Switzerland was my special guest guardian of the gate, and everyone was falling in love with him including Security boy Richard, who is always so non plus about everything. Friday was the first time I’ve ever seen Richard that giddy.

What a week of cultural events it has been, not to mention the fire in the sky over xerbia burning to a paltry pulp. I wind up back at the Disnal Hall, but the other side of the building that houses Redcap, its experimental small theatre. My companions of the evening being Daddy Athey and the great Udo Kier. Udo had me rollicking in the small cab of Daddy’s truck before getting to the place. He was all awash about his black lover cooking collard greens that were too salty and then he just went on a southern fried rant about Alabama. Pure geniustra. I love that Udo.
Redcap is lovely and designy, the artistic director is sweet Mark Murphy from Seattle’s On the Boards. Making its LA premiere was Dumb Type, the Beta-zed media collective from Kyoto, Japan. Their piece "Memorandum" was a sensory tanumbra. High tech as high tex as a rose is a rose. Staccata insta-kallations, boola boo video pampasipities, computer jizztra and Liza with a Ripongi Z.
The after party sizzled. I drank a million glasses of champagne and the food was tasty. The groups choreo/demographer Takao Kawaguchi is so sizzling sexy I wound up removing most of his clothes to the utter shock of the Cal Arts/Dizney matronas. Ron, Udo and I basically commondeered the party, which is our usual habit. Takao is the ex boyfriend of the great John Storey late of Rae Kawakuba and Comme des Garcon. John lived and worked in Japan for almost 20 years and use to write about Japanese designers for Dutch Magazine. Now John lives in Paris and is the right hand man for Christophe Lemaire and LeCoste. Takao also knows Doug Gorden who use to be the art director for Tokyo Journal. Doug had raved about Takao’s beauty for centuries, but seeing it dead center and personal is the ultimate dreama-dream. The girls in the collective are a hoot as well. Very sexily dementriad. One of the girls Vivian Wu was in that Peter Greenway film The Pillow Book where she got to straddle Ewan McGregor and his large willis. Lucky lady.
Did I mention that I want a membrane screen for my next piece. Every girl should have one.
And last night I go to Highways, someplace I never venture to. Well, can you blame me? Its in Aunt Monica and that late 80s identity politics scene is well, need I even say it?
Danielle Brazell scored a coup in bringing to LA for the first time the Madrid diva Maria La Ribot. Her performance piece was very inspirational. She is so aristrocratic, and that gorgeous face, those eyes, that statue that is her body, the lovely coloring, those expressions and that sultry voice which she uses so sparingly, that when you do hear its rhythms you’re bowled over. Wowina!!!
I hope the Dumb Type gang and La Ribot posse can make it to Bricktops. We’ll just have our own private shindy.

took a wee time off from my writing deadlines to attend a delicious brunch at Professor Jennifer Doyle's. Magnificent food, and lovely autumn floral arrangements. That Dr Doyle is one incredible gourmand. My escorts were Daniel Peiera and Cesar Vega two young saucy latino sex bucks with big thick dangerous uncut pingas. The Toxic Titties were in attendance and charming everyone as usual with their art crazed antics. The TT's are certainly the new breed that i love. Well someones gotta take the place of us old gals who are long on the proverbial tooth.

Bricktops friday really came together. Its difficult putting on a club of this nature every week, but its moments like last night that make it all worth while. All the elements came together in one fiercetic combination. Mr. Uncertain was marvelous and in good voice and my special guest stars Hope Levy and Jeannie Novak were just superlative interpreting the Helen Morgan/Showboat theme to perfection. It was a very intimate evening.
It was great seeingWilly Banta and Phylis Teen of the band Spookie Pye, Willy was wearing a 1920s tux and looked very dapper and Phylis had on a Molyneaux gown with a mink stole. She also brought her adorable mother. Also the fabulous Poubelle Twins were looking ever so enchanting, their escort the director of the Rug Rats Movie. What is his name again? Luscious Lola Tawdry, the grand daughter of Marlene Deitrich who will be performing at Bricktops in December, brought along her beautiful TV actress lady friend Rena Sofer, and her husband, director Stanford Bookstaver, who comes from a blue book blue blood family. Hustler Magazine editor David Bookbinder really stole my heart and I really wanted pull down the pants of that cute naked chef Jamie Oliver. I like hot sticky rice and the most gorgeous example of that taste bud came in the fine form of Ahn Jung Hwan, the South Korean soccer star who is known as the David Beckham of the east. Luckily I got to cop a feel of the huge kelbasa of German DJ Paul Van Dyk while pretty Miriam Jacobsen of the LA Weekly watched. Two punk legends in the same room--- Brendan Mullen of the Masque infamy and Don Bolles of the Germs who was chit chatting with his number one fan Chris Conley of the Emo band Saves the Day. This Friday we will celebrate a German expressionist Halloween with a special performance by Nora of the Centimeters. My beautiful guardians of the gate Selene’ and Meesh of the Epiladies have Halloween off, and even Mr. Uncertain will be taking a deserved break from the weekly action. Cyril Kuhn, the Swiss/German hunk from C-Level art collective will be handling the door chores for me. So I’m expecting a fun evening of sexy frivolity.

Went to see Peaches and Stay at Home Bomb at the El Ray Theatre Saturday night with Minneapolis transplant Jason North. I’ve been wanting to catch my former Cholita band member Alice "Bag" Armendariz’ new group for sometime and finally got a chance to see them in action. They were sensational, as i've heard. Alice was as wild as her fervent punk days in the late 70s. The girl gets younger looking every day, she and her big penis husband Jailbait. Stay at Home Bomb has an explosive sound and is a super group with two members of Betty Blowtorch and Lysa Flores rounding out the cast. I loved when Alice played the washboard. The working mom imagery really shines. The stage set-up is a clothing line with kids duds hanging down. The crowd went wild when the girls gave out homemade chocolate chip cookies that you could smell a million miles away. They were really delicious too. I’m so proud of my Alice. Girlfriend really has it going on.

The other group to perform from Germany was called Electrocute. They were ok for ten minutes but it wore a little thin after a while, in that electroclash way--- too obvious for its own good.

Peaches really tore up though. She is such an accomplished stage presence. WoW with a capital "P"!!!!! I liked when she did a duet via video with Iggy Pop. That was clever and worked oh so well. Even her stagehands were part of the act. The lady is very ssssshowbiz.

Most of the kidz in the audience suffered from bad hair disease. Some cuties but they lack personality and originality. Case in point: the tired Hilton Sisters were skreeching about the place teetering in tired heels and bony bodies. There was only one boy in the crowd I wanted to sleep with, a very light skinned black boy who looked very actorish and was macking on this white girl all night.

Ate lunch at Luna Sol on 6th Street at the bottom of the Asbury Apt Building. I love the food here, but the place has an odd vibe. Its sortof hippy dippy activisty mixed in with a bit of crusty street punk rasta sensibility that just doesn’t mesh with me.
There is this one jubas boy who works there, I can’t remember if he’s sporting dreds or not but his hands are always filthy, and he just doesn’t look like he bathes very often, which is a no no when working around food and the public. I’m not the only one who has noticed this, so I’m not being precious. On top of that he’s not very friendly and cops quite an attitude. There is also an Asian girl who works at the place and she is just downright hostile. When Cesar Vega took me there, she wasn’t featuring us as a couple. I guess she couldn’t quite figure out why were were together and it was disturbing to her. The girl looks like a cross between Anabella Lewin of Bow Wow Wow and that performance art chick who does all those gang bang films. A few weeks ago I went to Luna Sol and Anna was working there. Anna is the sweet younger sister of Maribu/Maribel who was the young lesbian girlfriend of my Afro Sister Fertile La Toyah Jackson. Now Fertile is seeing someone who is just a little bit more age appropriate. The girl who waited on me at Luna today was very sweet, but some of the other diners were giving some weird attitude. One boy with big feet was cute, and I could tell was trying to figure me out, what he should have done was ask me out on a date and bent over and let me munch on his garden salad. There were these other two white chickx that also rubbed me the wrong way and a ginger headed boy who was too ugly to be so arrogant.

Was invited to go to the grand opening of the Walt Disney Concert Hall designed by Frank Gehry. The only thing I had to wear that was formal was my Rick Owens couture suit. Thank god the weather cooled down last night or I wouldn’t have lasted. My escort was Wayne Baruch, and executive with PBS. What a gala event, the likesis I have never seen before. The hall is extroidinary and the acoustics are perfect. I caused quite a commotion on the red carpet and the paparrazi went crazola. A lot of people thought I was Dennis Rodman for some strange reason. I decided to play along with it. Robert Graham gave me his card, he had been giving me the hairy eyeball all night. So was actress Stephanie Powers. That one I don’t understand----she doesn’t strike me as a lesbiana. I told Mr. Gehry that I worked for ten years at UCLA’s Placement and Career Planning Center which he designed in 1975. I loved that building. Paul Geller the LA Philharmonic production direct told me he read my article in the LA Weekly about Club Chub and wants to go. He’s definitely a bear alright.
One of my favorite actresses died---Janice Rule. I loved her in Robert Altman’s Three Women and that movie The Swimmer with Burt Lancaster. Also Rerun from the 70s sitcom Whats Happening died. He had been a regular on Soul Train in the early 70s and part of the dance group the Lockers with Toni Basil.
Miracle of Miracles-I left my Mac Make-up bag that I use as a general carry clutch in the Starbucks on Santa Monica and Fairfax. This heatwave has me all flustered and I’m not exactly in my right mind. Of course someone stole it thinking it was a woman’s purse. I was distraught. My eyeglasses, day planner and my article that I wrote in hand for the LA Weekly’s Entertainment Guide were all in that bag. Luckily the heavens looked favorably on me and when the thief tossed the bag in Hancock Park a good Samaritan Sparkletts Waterman found it and called me telling me where I could find it. He hid it in some bushes on Windsor and 8th Street. Whew what a close call.

Went to writers klatch with Daddy and Lisa Teasley. Lisa’s new novel is really progressing nicely. Its so exciting seeing her blossom. The Indian summer heat is wilting me. I’m just a little green flower. Always remember that. Here it is almost all Hallow’s Eve and instead of layers I’m in a wifebeater. Glum.

Solidified the after party for the drag king movie Venus Boyz with Dred King. Dred has that New York moxie down pat. I’m glad someone is enthusiastic about something. I always forget that some people actually believe in showbizness. I’ve never been that ambitious.

Had dinner with Greg Der Ananian. He’s quite a cook, that kid. Very yummy meal. Greg really isn’t a kid anymore. He’s 28 years old. When I met him he was 21 or 22 and a student at the University of Indiana at Bloomington. He orchestrated me being brought out there as a visiting artist. I love the mid west, those cornfed /free range cuties. Greg is putting together a bazarre featuring high art crafts work. Very cute idea. He makes these cum rag with precision stitching and other erotica of similar ilk. Quite impressive.

I’m exhausted. With the MTA bus/subway strike in its second week, I’m riding my bike all over town and covering quite some distance. Its making my butt bootylicious, but finding myself very short of breath. Oh welp, I just have to be thankful that I have some form of transportation.

This week Ron Athey and I had a power bitch meeting discussing many issues including The UK/Euro tour of Visions of Excess and also bringing back Spicy Beef Curtains as a quarterly solstice event. We kicked out some really amazing ideas and names of people we’d like to have perform like Joel Gibb and his Hidden Cameras Project, Animal Charm, the luscious Rebecca Del Rio and World Famous BoB. Plus our main girl Kembra is putting together a brand new edition of The Voloptuous Horror of Karen Black which should really be intriguing. We have our hairy eyeball on the Hollywood Forever Cemetary as a site specific location for a Tent Cathedral Saturday-as-Sunday-Going-To-Meeting-Place. After the blair power bitch meeting Daddy cooked an awesome streak dinner with Ocra on a bed of brown chisel rice-----beyond yummy.

Bricktops Friday was very casual chic. The Pablo Picasso theme worked really well. The talented audience loved painting their own masterpieces with the paint and easel Andrew of Gould set up.
We celebrated the joint birthdays of my grandson Mr. Uncertain and guardian of the gate Michele Mills of the Epiladies. Joining in the festivities lovesexy drag king extroidinaire Dred Gerestant, who just moved to LA from New York City and is in the new film Venus Boyz that opens at the Laemmle Fairfax on November 7th. Bricktops will host their after party. Also scruffy Eric Eisner the son of movie mogul Michael Eisner was sniffing around for booty. The kid ain’t too bright, but he sure looks good. Legendary scenester Europa, seems to be Mr. Uncertains biggest fan, she was looking lovely as ever and will do a pre-hallow’s eve jewelry installation/boutique next week. The stunning Rebecca Del Rio (David Lynch’ muse and star of Mulholland Drive)also came by enchanting everyone with her wit and goodtime Sally vibe. The Devil’s grandson Stanton LaVey and his new lady friend Mila Kunis popped in but couldn’t stay long as they had to go back home and do some more carnel knowledging. I’m so glad that Stanton is back in Los Ang. Stanton’s famous grandfather Anton LaVey of the church of Satan would be proud. French hearthrob Benoit Magimel of the new Claude Chabrol film
"La Fleur du Mal" had all the ladies going crazy. I sure would love to eat this young cheesy french diquetator out.

Oh the yearly Best of LA edition of the LA Weekly came out on Thursday. I have a Best Advice essay that actually came out really good. I’ve been getting a dozen emails and phone calls with compliments. Went to my guardian of the Bricktops gate, Michele Mills of the Epiladies birthday soiree at the YeeTee pub in Atwater Village. Can you believe it, a bar I haven’t been inside of? Very cute. Seems like someone else was having a party as well. All the Epiladies were present with their bitch Scratch. Plus sightings of celebutantes like Jane Cantillon and her mogul hubby, Alice Bag and Jailbait, Bibbe Hansen and Sean Carrillo as well as Jeffreyland Hilbert and his beau, the great Mrs Michael Glass and Tom Guzman.

My sweet angel of a husband, Andrew of Gould in Suffex took me all the way to miserable Pico Rivera to retrieve some items that have been in storage for over a year.
Warning: Never use Door-to-Door storage. They are a rip off. Last year i was in a desperate situation. I had to move quickly and i got suckered into a situation because of my desperality. Another reason i want to leave tired Los Ang and live in a different country. NO affordable housing here, and and i have to struggle to keep studio space to just do work in. I'm getting angry again.
2night daddy athey and i are working on a game plan to revive Spicy Beef Curtains or something similar. We're going to brainstorm.

Saw the movie School of Rock starring Frank Black of Tenacious D. I have a new found appreciation for Mr. Black. Was at someones house recently, when they rented Shallow Hal, and I found his performance in that flick to be quite good as well. He definitely has something, a sortof John Belushi charm. Eh? Remember Belushi in the film Continental Divide with Blair Brown in the early 80s? His acting was superlative in that film and Black could go in that same direction. Talk about a film closely tied in to my punk rock youth. I spent a lot of time hanging out with Belushi in the late 70s and early 80s both here in LA and New York. His Blues Bros director John Landis, had a crush on me, and we shared a romantic kiss one night. I was in drag and I don’t think Landis knew that I wasn’t a woman. Those were the days.
Writers klatch with Ron and Lisa has been a sterling success. Lisa’s compound in Laurel Canyon is just gorgeous. We worked down in the bottom of her back yard which goes on for what seems like miles of trees and earthen vistas. It really helps the creative process.
My little papa Frank Rodriguez, my former partner with Club Sucker, helped me dub some of my work for the Alpert Award. That sweatheart always comes through for his lady. He cooked me a delicious meal and we just spent quality time together which is such a rare treat. He quit his corporate job at Sony Pictures after umpteenth years and now has his own design company called Famous that he runs with Jeffreyland Hilbert. Its hard being a business man but his company is doing well, and I see great things in his future. Frank never fails to fascinate me. I fell madly in love with him the first moment I laid eyes on him and that love has never diminished in all these years.

Bricktops Fatty Arbuckle night was very sweet. Mr. Uncertain enacted his loveable monster persona which he hasn’t done in quite a while and also tap danced, which I love. He also did a spiffy version of "Lady, Be Good". I sang my original song "Chinga Tu Madre" in honor of the election of "The Arnold" as our golden states new governor. I also managed to stick in the showtune "Aces High". Our special guests were Tommy’s Italian Novelty Band featuring Tom and Aldo from Janet Klein’s Parlour Boys. Tom and Aldo are two very horny elderly gentlemen who are amazing musicians. They brought in a top notch stand-up bassist and a young kid who sang a smoking original blues number. My door girl Selene was also looking mighty foxy in a fur coat and vintage undies.
A lot of humpy rock n rollers also came by to pay their respects to la diva. Tim Armstrong of Rancid was dancing away with a lady friend, but also made time with pretty San Francisco heritage DJ Pandora. Tim and Matt his bass player from Rancid use to come to Club Sucker and this was his first visit to Bricktops, I think he enjoyed himself. Nora Kaye of the Centimeters fame also stopped in. She’ll be the guest star for our Halloween German Expressionist Extravaganza. She was chit chatting with Derek Fudesco and Andrea Zollo of the band Pretty Girls Make Graves. What a stupid name for a band. Michael Schmidt, the chain mail designer and Charlie’s Angels movie costumer got lucky and picked up a tall young blond boy. Good for him. He deserves some goodies, and the boy he snaggled has a giant penis. How do I know that? I met the kid first when he lived in Minneapolis when I was on tour with Margaret Cho and we had a fierce roll in the proverbial hay. Also during the end of my weekly performance Andrew WK, the mad, but overwelmingly pretty party rocker, came by and was almost unrecognizeable in a houndstooth suit and bowler hat that hid his long hair. He gave a quick compliment to our DJ Pirate Jenny, from Montepelier before he took off into the night by 1:15pm. I sure wish I could have followed him home and got into bed with him.

i i got a little emug from my good friend Kari Khrome formerly of the runaways and now living in NYC:

last weekend i was looking out my window on the top
floor, it was early early evening, and i watched two
girls climb out from the basement of a squat, adjacent
to the empty lot across the street. the wriggled out
and crouched behind a pile of old wood and pipes. two
girls sat on the wood and chain smoked, while one girl
crouched down and pulled her pants down and peed while
they all smoked and talked. the girl peeing wore a
black and red plaid skirt with a black hoodie and her
hair crazy couloured blood red. her ass was facing me,
and it was whiter than any white i had ever seen. she
crouched there peeeing and smoking at the same time
while talking to her friends. she looked around for
something to wipe with, and seeing nothing, used the
the front of her shirt. she stood up yawned, and then
blew her nose on the shirt as well.
i was cracking up. Rancid was playing at CBGBs and the
troops were out in full force. two guys, one with a
military mohawk, and another in in a GBH t shirt
crossed the street in front of my building. the one in
the GBH t shirt slowed down, leaned down on a
construction cone to steady himself, and vomited in
the middle of the street.
all of this happened within 3 minutes.
what can you do?
last week a carfull of kids who were drunk and stupid
sat out in front of my building for an hour screaming.
a huge group of them came piling out of the Bowery
Poetry Club twirling and screeching and dancing around
like some loser teenagers at a Rocky Horror Picture
Show matinee. I got so pissed that i went on top of
the roof and threw a rock down on top of thier van. It
made a loud Kachunk as it hit. i ran back downstairs
to my apt and listened to them scream some more. i got
so pissed i went back on top of the roof and threw 3
big rocks in rapid succession. each one sounded like
thunder.
when i went back to my apt and looked out the window
they had left.
fucking assholes.

Political Front-C’est fatigue
Well he won, as expected—"The Arnold" is now the governor of California. Of course the state deserves him. In a beauty contest of monkeys the winner will always be a monkey.
I really need to leave this country. But go where? Germany? France? England? Well at least in Germany I’ll get more sex. But after living there for 5 months 2 years ago, I can see Germany is at the same place it was in 1928.
Is there a place for me in this world? I doubt it.

Edward Bunotto one of my cute Topping From the Bottom Boys from the first Platinum Oasis was nominated for Best Art Director for the TV musical The Music Man. He lost but I had no idea he was even an art director let alone getting nominated for an Emmy. He is living in Toronto and Montreal and has a big fat dick and nice titties so he always attracts lots of cute boys around him like flies to the flame, or is that moths?
I thought little Eddie was an art photographer. It just goes to show you how many different scenes and worlds Vaginal Davis criss crosses.
Literary Pituatary-Ron Athey, Lisa Teasley and little lady I, started our writers klatch again. We’re going to meet every Mon at 2pm at Lisa’s Laurel Canyon compound. The first session went really well. That Lisa is so prolific. She has a brand new chapter of a new book. Wow! She’s making me look bad. Her second book Dive will soon be published and it was fantastic working with her as she wrote the book with the first installment of our klatch. Its difficult coordinating our busy schedules, but its so so worth it.
With all these commitments I have lately---- upcoming art shows in Europa and writing for art catalogues, books and the like, my health is beginning to suffer. I’ve got to learn an important new Vaginal Davis word, and that is: "No" or I’ll never get through this year in one sardine piece. Also doing a weekly niteclub is really taking its toll on me. I love doing Bricktops, but its a stressfull 24/7 always on call work throttle. Now I appreciate what Frank and Dale did during the five years of Club Sucker. But at least they got a lot of sex out of the bargain. I’ve only had sex nibbles from doing Bricktops.

I’m glad I had a few days of vacation in San Francisco, but it was hardly enough time to regenerate properly.

Page 16-"The Courtney" as in Courtney Love was arrested recently and OD’d all in the same night. Poor child, she’s a messes mess. From what my spies have told me, she was picked up by the cops around Loretta Hoggs house below Olympic Blvd. Loretta is the former NYC Klub Kidd who works for Mizz Love and is pretty much the "dad" to her daughter Frances Bean.
Culture-Went to see Marisa Carnesky perform Jewess Tattooess at UCLA’s MacGowan Hall. Talk about spellbinding and revitting. This multi media piece had some incredible films in it, plus the sound and lighting by Marisa’s black dyke designer friend Rose. It all just added up to geniustrata. I’m sure someone like Marilyn Manson will steal some of Marisa’s top gun visual ideas for one of his tired videos.
Marisa performed as part of Visions of Excess, the event in England that Ron and I co-curated.
Seeing one of her full pieces presented properly was an utter delight to the senses. No one is working in Jewess mysticism as a performance art concept, and she is funny, sexy, intelligent and beguiling on stage.
Marisa and her posse came by Bricktops on Friday after their performance. It was wonderous having them in the hause. Bricktops theme was in keeping with the celebration of all things Jewish, in that we were saluting the Jewish vaudeville star Fanny Brice. I butchered her famous song, "My Man". For visual stimuli, we showed Babs Streisand playing Fanny in "Funny Lady" plus the real Miss Brice in the MGM classic Ziegfeld Follies of 1946. Mr. Uncertain also debut his new Uncertain Marching Band. His drummer and guitar player are really licky suckable. It was also Shauna Leone’s birthday party. The notables seen drinking and co-mingling: Stuart Krasner, the NBC executive who likes to stop by ever so often and troll for cute impressionable boys, Vanity Fair’s editor-at-large Matt Trynauer who actually caught the show this time, director Ramzi Abed who is working on a movie about the Black Dahlia Murder and has lined up Werner Herzog to appear. It just so happens one of the books I’m reading is Herzog on Herzog. I love how he threatened to kill Klaus Kinski and himself if Kinski walked out on him. Love the German lesbian drama.antics
Speaking of Germanic drama, Nastassia Kinski came to the club as part of the entourage of Lesbian Icona Gwen Turner(American Psycho, Go Fish) Nastassia felt Bricktops was too downscale for her and was trying to get Gwen to leave, but she wasn’t budging.
I adore Gwen, she is a real party nigger. One time the girl was so drunk that they wouldn’t let her on a plane to London, where she was filming a movie. Even knackered that wit of hers bounced back, "I’m not going to fly the plane." Her beauty and charm Wowed them and they let her board. Gwen’s latest project is a lesbian version of Queer is Folk that stars Pam Grier and Jennifer Beals of Flashdance fame. That should be something else.
Oh and that super fine Aussie super model turned TV Tarzan Travis Fimmel also slinkered in, but he wasn’t very friendly, or nice to doorgirl Meesh of the Epiladies.
Pirate Jenny from Montepilier kicked major asstrovar behind the wheels of steel, which enabled me to have a bit of a respite which I greatly appreciated. I’m sure there were some other celebs hankering about, but as usual I’m too drunk to recognize them.

back from my vacation in San Fran. I wanted to go to Montreal, but i had to settle for someplace a little less exciting. I had a great time, one can only do the city by the bay for a short stay---its a beautiful town, but a little on the dullard side.
It was my second time at the Folsom Street Fair and i enjoyed seeing all the nudity and sexual shenanigans. Those porno booths were something else. Even i was shocked by the flagrant daytime chowing down. And some of the models were very generous to their fans allowing them a slurp or two. When i arrived Saturday night and checked into the Carriage Inn i was surprised at how sweet my room was. After cruising the soma bars, i was angry that i was invisible/divisible and wound up back at the motel by 12 midnight, but as i was about to run down the street for some grub i met a horny fella and he invited me to his room where we were soon joined by his jubas boyfriend and commensed upon a threegy. After 90 minutes of them worshipping my chubby body, we were joined by another salt n peppa couple and it was an all for nothing fivegy. One of the pieces of snow had what must have been a 13 1/2 willisaurus, and i do believe he wanted to plow me with it because he spent a lot of time greasing me up with a hot link analingus tongue. His sphincter worship was unbelievable. But being the selfish betsy that i am, the minute i ejaculated my 2 inch clit, it was later dayz for this wo-man. So i went to the Mel's Diner and pigged on an alvacado burg and fries and watched a little cable TV, popped a xanax and had the best sleep imaginable. The next day i was very rested and ready to peruse the fair without being all desperality. After the fair i wents to the Eagle and macked on several guys including one of the pieces of snow i had fornicated with in the 5gy. Not the 13 1/2 inch snow but the one from Chicago with his thyroid eye jubas jubilee. The snow's negro had a below average willis, so of course he doesn't get his hole worked the way he wants it and was counting on having a one-on-one with me, but i don't like repeats. No one was floating my boat so i left and went to a few other barzinas and at the Powerhause i ran into the salt n peppa couple picking up another jub. What slutkas!
I was more than satisfied from last night so decided to go back to the motel and met a cute El Salvadorean who looked like a tall version of Rubencito the bar back at the Parlour. I swear he was his twin, but with a more amazing body and twitchy tight holestravar, so i went to his room and proceded to mack mama him royally and didn't even need a viagra that daddy athey had given me. I've never had such sexual pluck in San Francisco before. The rest of my trip was spent catching up with girlfriends like Larry Bob, "Pop That Cherry" Jefferson and Immanuel de La Felaise.

Last night me and Ron through an impromptu party for Marisa Carnisky, the British Live Arts performer who is doing her piece at UCLA. She's been getting a lot of delicious press that she really deserves. When i did my shows in London she was the perfect hostess to me, so i wanted her to meet some LA royalty and they all came out in mass. Too many stars to name right at this moment but maybe later. Daddy Athey cooked a lovely Thai meal and his beau Maxmillian made lovely cocktails with an exclamation point on the cock.

Rebecca Del Rio of Mulholland Drive fame performed as part of Bricktops Lupe Velez, Mexican Spitfire Fiesta. What a successful event. One of Bricktops best nights for sure. Rebecca is a phenomenal singer and performer with a voice that is beyond angelic. She is one unbelievable talent and everyone was mezmerized. Of course there were lots of celebs including director David Lynch and Laura Harring plus an asortment of writers and artists too numerous to mention here but i will say that punk rock legend Don Bolles(The Germs) came by along with David J. of Bauhaus/Love and Rockets Fame and this amazing young kid who is either a hockey player or basketball player from Russia. His name is Alexander Frolov and he is so beautiful that our eyes met as i was DJ-ing and he came up to me in the booth and we wound up sharing a deep passionate kiss that kept me from changing records for a few minutes. I was that distracted. Hopes he makes a return visit and SOON.
Saturday Professor Doyle aka Pirate Jenny gave me a ride to the aeroport so that i could take my long awaited vacation to San Francisco. Boy do i deserve some time off. I've worked two asses off in the last year. I wanted a few days of debauchery and i felt like the Folsom Street Fair would be perfect to explore. Last year i was in San Francisco, but that trip wasn't so great as i spent too much time hen partying with girlfriends and getting absolutely NO booty whatsoever. This year i had to take care of myself and my nut, so i avoided girlfriends, and splurged on a hotel. I stayed for 3 days at the Best Western Carriage Inn on 7th at Mission. It was a lot nicer then i expected it to be. I had reserved three nights but i was only going to stay two but it was so comfy i decided i deserved those three nights even if i have to starve later. My first night Saturday i went bar hopping, but it proved very disapointing, so i headed home early and wound up meeting at the Best Western Americana next to my motel this salt n peppa fuck buddy couple from Chicago. The snow was very muscular with bullet nipples and a ripped washboard set of abs. He said he was 37 but looked older, because he was balding, but was still very handsome, in a Mr. Paul Ashly like way. The jubas was kind of thyroid eyed but extremely friendly and seductive. They had their own rooms but we wound up in the snow's suite. Both of them pounced on me and started sucking on my titties, which of course i love as my tits demand lots of attention. They were very much into just servicing me, which being the grand poobah diva that i am is mostly what i look for in a trick. After loads of foreplay where the jubas jubilee was massaging me and licking every orifice on my body------both of them had very average peterfications. I was surprised that the jubas was actually somewhat of a princess Tiny Meat. He certainly broke the black stereotype. About 90 minutes into our session there was a knock at the door and another salt and pepper couple came over. This other jubas had giant muscles and a very thick willis but not especially long, plus he had massive pectorals and nipples that looked liked Thierry Mugler's steel plated nips. The snow was very tall and handsome with white hair and what looked like a 13 inch willasaurus. Now 4 men were doing double time in taking care of my lady needs, it was my ultimate fantasy come true and i couldn't believe it was happening. I wanted it to last for hours, but all the stimuli directed towards me made me slooge sooner then i would have wanted. Ms. 13 inch cruel club seemed a little disapointed. I think she was hoping to plow my virgin hole, but as soon as i ejaculated i was starving and got the hell out of Dodgekin. I went next door to my Inn and asked the tired Philipino desk clerk where i could get some hot food. He told me that there was a Mel's diner on 4th and Mission. I walked over there and got take out and brought it back to my room and chowed and watched a little cable TV and had an amazing sleep. The next day was Sunday and Folsom Day and i wasn't feeling all desperality, which was good and was able to enjoy the kinky procedings. I was surprised by all the broad daylight cock sucking sphinter munching at the porno booths. Some very virulent porn pups were just going to town and even let some trolls have a slurp or two. The porn stars were being very generous. Of course there was the regular gaggle of fuglies running around butt naked when they shouldn't be. I ran into a lot of LA girlfriends which isn't exactly what i was hoping for, but it was nice seeing Greg Cloud aka Greg Lenzman, Marvina Jones & Co and Mr. Cross who now lives in Oakland and is a full fledged F2M Mack daddy. I've always loved and admired that Mr. Cross, he's is as handsome as ever.

After the fair i went to the Eagle and connected with several men and had some mack sessions that didn't exactly go anywhere, but it was nice being desired for a change. I also ran into the snow from Chicago who told me that his jubas was just a neighbor and casual fuckbuddy, which i don't believe i think they are in a all out relationship. I didn't just fall of the ole turnip truck.
The Jubas was busy flirting with a bunch of snow papas, but was never too far away from his main Chi-town snow piece. Miss snow made it clear he wanted to have a private session with me and get plowed as his Jubas doesn't exactly have the equipment to stretch his hole into a man channel and i was actually giving butch realness which was intriguing him. But i already had her Saturday and did not savor any repeat performances. My intuition was that she would turn into one bossy cow bottom and this particular night I was all about The NEW---no second hand Roses or repeats. So we made out a bit and that was that. I wound up going to Blow Buddies and meeting a guy from Hawaii and some other piece of high snow, and they both commensed to service my binockers. One was being a little too rough and making my already somewhat sore nips sorer, but the Hawaiian was perfect and after i busted my proverbial gnut i hung out with Ms. Honolulu and she messaged me and we snuggled a bit. Oh and i got back to Ms. Hotel early by 12:00midnight, after getting food this time at the 10th and Mission greasy hamburger joint.
Monday i just did girlfriend stuff with Larry Bob and went to his Comedy Night. Wasn't really impressed with any of the comics---you know comedy isn't my thing. I was hoping Larry's beau Nick was performing, but the MC was some well known gagster who didn't exactly float my boat. A straight middle aged hippy looking comic was actually the funniest and a big southern Diesel Dyke came in 2nd place. I couldn't hack the full two hour show and left and did some bar hopping, but Monday nite is so dismal in SanFranc that i wound up coming back to the motel early and just eating and watching cable TV which is a treat since i down own a television.
Checked out of the motel by noon and went and had a nice snack at a cute vegetarian place with L-Bob and my step son Immanual de la Falaise picked me up and i spent the rest of the day with him. We drank at some tired rock n roll bar in the mission and then went to this incredible east Indian restaurant in the suburbs near his home and had a meal that was beyond beyond. The head waiter was gorgeous and he was actually flirting with me. The other east asian men weren't exactly featuring my queeny troll vibe. I spent the night at Immanuel's then in the morning we met with his mother my ex-wife and former Afro Sister, "Pop That Cherry" Jefferson, and had a sweet breakfast and then we had a snack at Cafe Flor then Iman whisked me to the Aeroport and now i'm back to the reality of no sex in LA. Ha har!

oh my darlings. My little date with lawyer anderson was wonderful. We had a little sweet luncheon at this agua fresca joint on hollywood and vine that makes the most delicious sandwiches and fruit nectars imaginable, then we went to the tired Arclight Theatre to see Woody Allen's new movie Anything Else starring Jason Biggs and a radiantra Christina Ricci who has really made the transition from child star to adult actress. I kind of hate that she has taken the AllyMcBeal route of dieting and weight control and is a skinny lollipop head. She looked much better with meat on her bones. In all fairness she's gained a bit back, but not enough to rescue her from the gaunt clutches of Hollywood chic. Jason sure is fine looking and so is Jimmy Fallon from Saturday Nite Live fame. I also enjoyed the brief appearance of Adrian Grenier. What a nice surname Grenier. How does Vaginal Grenier sound?
Also saw the movie underworld about Vampires and Werewolves. Kate Beckinsale was her usually snooty self and Scott Speedman was doing his brooding thing that he gets carried away with. Oh i can't fault someone for perpetually sulking now can i. I had a run in with Scott a year or so ago, and he was flirting with me, but being aloof at the same time, which i wasn't having. He reminds me so much of how Brad Pitt was when he first came on the scene as a young actor. Except Scott doesn't have some old geezer floating about as his suger daddy. Scott just loves flirting with queens and getting them worked up then dropping them flat. Let me stop badmouthing. I just wish Scott well with his newfound boxoffice success.