KANN MAN HOCHWASSERHOSEN TRAGEN?
Unbelievably handsome baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras hosted a pre-holiday housewarming at his Neu Kölln compound. The food was delicious, and included Chestnut and pumpkin soup and meaty meats by Mr. Gibbs super lovesexy East German beau Enrico. Enjoying the warmth and good cheer: Film historian Marc Siegel with his lovely intermedia actress girlfriend Susanne Sachsse, master musician and filmmaker Tim Blue escorted by dashing LA fashion designer Cornel Collins, Daniel “Haji" Hendrickson with ItalioGerman partner Piero Bonnehomme,Anna Muelter of the HAU, Gallic artist Christophe Chemin, journalist Malte with his older brother, Turkish beauty boy and set designer Senol Senturk, kJohnny Blue, Christian Siekmieir of Exile Gallery with his ginger lifepartner, Dolce & Gabbana mannequin Evandro Soldati, and DJ Snax who previewed some of the hot wax trax off his explosive upcoming CD.
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Just found out that Sam Bottoms, the youngest of the famous Bottoms Brothers acting dynasty of Santa Barbara died. I had a bit of a dalliance with Sam back in the 70s, but i´ve always been more enamored of his older brothers Joseph and Timothy. Timothy Bottoms co-starred with me in an episode of the ABC TV drama Gideon´s Crossing back in 2000.
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Michael Lucid, the star and co-creator with Demanda Barrett of Cable & internets hit electronic short film series Pretty Things came by the Cheese Endique Trifecta Sunday for a visit. Ms. Lucid aka Damiana Garcia is in Berlin for a gay wedding. We had a wonderous time hobknobbing together and she filled me in on lots of Los Ang gossip, like the Museum of Death returning to Hollywood after a long hiatus. The Museum of Death use to be a San Diego cult institution, but then they moved North to Hollywood Blvd for a while right next door to the gay sauna The Hollywood Spa. Now they are back on Hollywood Blvd, but further down the street at Gower. Michael and his creative partner Demanda are now 30 years old. When all the children you¥ve inspired start to hit 30+ you know you’re an old heffer. DeManda along with her wife Abby are in the popular heritage music group The Ditty Bops. Michael also went to school with Billy, the F2M who is now a top Oscar nominated film editor who got his start working behind the scenes with Bruce La Bruce on the movie Hustler White. If you haven’t seen any of Michael Lucid’s performances or films check them out online. He is one of those rare LA talents that should be a household word. I¥ve been one of his biggest fans and supporters from the very beginning and i have to get him and The Ditty Bops here to Berlin for a project.
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Daniel “Haji” Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim threw a joyous Muslim Hannukah Party at his Neu Kˆlln compound. The decor was scintilating with 100 Menorah¥s scattered around the festive drawing room, Arab music and dreydels for everyone to play with. The fabulous food was all kosher and delicious— latkas with persimmon pudding as desert. Seen spinning the dreydel: the beautiful Empress of The Arsenal Institute of Film and Video Kunst Miss Stefanie Schulte Strathaus with her right hand gal pal the luscious bubble butt Nanna Heidenreich, a party isn’t a party in Berlin without the beloved Anna Muelter of the Hebbel Theater. Music filmmaker Tim Blue with his handsome Negro boyfriend the LA designer Cornel Collins, little brother kJohnny Blue, film historian Marc Siegel with his ladylove the famous, gorgeous actress Susanne Sachsse and hunky Turkish set designer Senol Senturk who is off to Los Angeles and the states for the first time to visit his girlfriend the renown academic, Professor Jennifer Doyle of UC Riverside.
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With the death of pinup queen Bettie Page i started thinking about other sisters of the cloth like Tempest Storm, Blaze Starr and the great Lilly St. Cyr. Ms. St. Cyr owned a store on Santa Monica Blvd and Crescent Heights called The Undie World of Lily St. Cyr. Of course being a drag diva i was a frequent customer to this incredible store where you could buy old fashion style sexy foundation garments and the most incredible girdle¥s, stockings and accessories. When the store closed in the early 90s it was quite a loss. Lily St. Cyr¥s stock was much better made then the things you can buy at Playmates of Hollywood, Victoria¥s Secret or Fredrick¥s. There was another more modest, simple boutique owned and ran by a bunch of old Jewish ladies in the shopping center at 3rd Street and Fairfax near Lohmann¥s Dept store. This place was great for big boned gals like myself, and the women didn¥t bat an eyelash that a queen was coming in to shop and try things on. If anything they got excited and were all rushing about catering to me like i was Barbra Stanwick. Sometimes i forget just how much of a glamorous allure i have. Even dressed in boy clothes i exude something special. This was made evident to me recently while treating myself to breakfast at a little Turkish cafe on the day of my Rising Stars, Falling Stars event. I was coming out of the loo wrapping a scarf around my neck and this middle aged German woman looked up at me and cood “You¥re beautiful”.
I smiled graciously and said thank you, then caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection of a shop window and i did have a certain wintery glow. Funny i left my flat that morning feeling quite plain and ordinary. Considering I am a woman of a certain age, the years have been extroidinarily kind to me. Whenever i see old pals after many years, some who are decades younger then me, i find i can¥t return the compliment.
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Baby Diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras hosted a Gallic Christmas Day dinner. Joel and Val the exotic French/Martinique via London temptress of the super hot electro duo Noblesse Oblige cooked a plump toddler in the shape of a turkey with all the trimmings. Normally i¥m not much of a cannibal, but this meal was extroidinary, and whats one less baby in the world eh? Guests included muscular artiste Christophe Chemin with his sweet lady friend from Paris, La Bourette who works for Ungaro, Berlin legendina Zazie de Paris came with Nina Hagen¥s manager Mabel the Man, and dapper Weiland Speck of the Berlinale¥s Panorama Section. An evening of festive merriment and yummy food ensued. Don¥t forget to mark in your Berlin calenderia Friday Jan 16th because Noblesse Oblige will perform at Search&Destroy the queer noises club at the Schwuz at Mehringdam
In Kreuzberg. Joel Gibb, Acme Singt the naked superstar spinmeister, and Ms. Vaginal Davis will be part of the DJ team in the Golden Streams lounge that evening. There will be a pretty cock and cooch contest so start primping your privates.
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Stars always die in groups of three. I don¥t know where the great Eartha Kitt fits in to this equation but she has now met her mortal coil at the age of 81 or 84. No one is quite sure how old she was, but those two numbers are the best estimates. A complete original, i had the opportunity to see Ms. Kitt in action several times at one of her many appearances at the Cine Grill at the Hollywood Roosevelt Hotel on Hollywood Blvd in the 1980s and 90s. The CineGrill was one of the few upscale style cabaret joints left in Los Angeles. A holdover from the era of the supperclub.
Ms. Kitt was born a sharecropper¥s daughter like my mother, in the deep south to a white Plantation owner¥s son who came down with jungle fever for her black mother. As a teen Ms. Kitt was sent to NYC and became a dancer with the famous Katherine Dunham Dance troupe and later conquered Broadway in New Faces of 1952. She caused a political scandal in the 1960s when invited to a White House luncheon with Ladybird Johnson where Ms. Kitt denounced America¥s involvement in the Vietnam war. Her taking that stand caused her career to suffer for ten years in America.
Most people are familiar with her from the role of Catwoman in the 1960s Batman TV series, and for her many sultry recordings from the 1950s and even her free style disco hit from the early 80s. A truly unique talent that could not be pigeonholed, she spoke and sang in a million different languages. Truly an internationalist. Also one of the hardest working, sexy and fascinating women in the world. The only other entertainers she could be compared to are Josephine Baker and Nina Simone. She was still keeping an amazing performance schedule up until her death of colon cancer on Christmas Day.
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Susanne Sachsse the luscious star of two of Bruce La Bruce¥s films The Raspberry Reich and Otto: Up With Dead People, and a classically trained German actress triumphed with her yearly after Christmas dinner party. Frau Sachsse¥s is the most famous table in Berlin. The endless supply of food included sheering lamb, Brocolli Salad with truffle sauce, a bean collard parfait and chickpeas. The guest list included a veritable who¥s who: kJohnny Blue and his girlfriend Nadine, Stefanie Schulte Strathaus the Empress of the Arsenal Institute of Film and Video Kunst with girl friday Nanna Heidenreich. Ms. Stefanie and Nanna generously gave the Vaginal Doll a special VIP transportation pass and key to the City of Berlin. Also seen: filmmaker Tim Blue and fashion designer Cornell Collins smooching and enjoying their hot and heavy love affair, renown academe Katja Sander with her Danish beau Simon, independent curator Hannah Hurtzig, muscular french triple threat artist Christophe Chemin, hairy chested Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras, Daniel “Haji” Hendrickson, naked Superstar DJ Acme Singt,16 year old DeRohan Chabot crushing on Suzi¥s pretty 15 year old daughter Salome Gersh, La Bourette of the House of Ungaro whose sizzling book of poetry La Bourette Enchante is part of the famed French literary series Le Rayon created by the late controversial pro bareback sex activist, writer and judge Guillaume Dustan, Belgium Princess Anne He’lene D’Arenberg with Anouchka Delon the 18 year old daughter of actor Alain Delon. Ms. Suzi surprised me with a sensational gift of deadstock vintage 1920s stockings in their original packaging and her beau Marc Siegel gave me a copy of the latest edition of the academic journal Camera Obscura that features Kiki & Herb on the cover and Mr. Siegel¥s masterful essay “Vaginal Davis’ Gossipal Truths”.
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Film director Richard Mulligan died at age 83. Mulligan was most known for the 1963 film To Kill A Mockingbird starring Gregory Peck from the Harper Lee book, and Summer of ’42 starring Jennifer O’Neill and Gary Grimes. Other famous passings at the end of the year include South Afrikan singer Miriam Makeba, Playright Harold Pinter, quite the vocal critic of US policies and Fluxux pioneer George Brecht who died age 82 in Cologne, Germany.
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The famous Love Camel aka: Andrea Novarin my Italian/British assistant since 1996 arrived Saturday to spend the Silvester Holiday with me. Andrea originally hails from Milan, but has lived in England for 10 years. i still can¥t understand a word he says. I think that is necessary for us to get along all these many years. This is our third year toasting the New Year together, and we always spend it the same way watching a marathon of movies and eating junk food. New Year¥s eve in Berlin is crazy with all the firecrackers, cherry bombs and molitav cocktails you would think you were on the Gaza strip. Thats why i like to stay at home and not go to any parties.
Speaking of soirees the last of the holiday season was Tim Blue¥s birthday Sunday which always starts at 3pm so he can kick everyone out early. His new boyfriend designer Cornel Collins took charge of the excellent menu. Being seen and heard: Berlin¥s experimental film maestro Wilhelm Hein just returned to the continent from SRO shows in New York and New Orleans and will present Sunday Jan 25th his You Killed The Underground Film or the Real Meaning of Kunst Bleibt . . .Bleibt at the KW Institute for Contemporary Art where your¥s truly along with the Blue Bros Tim & kJohnny will make guest appearances. The talented Isabel Spengler who just finished a new film called “The Pitch” with Evi R¸ssler that i have been hearing oodles of good things about, that Naked DJ boy Acme Singt with 16 year old boy wonderkind DeRohan Chabot who was shyly talking to pretty Salome Gersh the 15 year old daughter of actress Susanne Sachsse, film historian Marc Siegel, Daniel Hendrickson, Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, Nanna Heidenreich, cutie pie German actor Stefan Faulpel, Uli Ziemon,the most beautiful boy in Berlin, the wonderfully delightful Finnish video artist Gun Holstrom, Israeli beauty boy Lior Shamreiz who works for Heinz Emigholtz who is doing a new film starring Tilda Swinton and Cheaps Susanne Sachsse, kJohnny Blue with girlfriend Nadine, and of course The Love Camel. The party ended around 10pm and everyone flanked to nearby Porky Club at Ficken 3000, where the motto is: Exploit Yrself Today, Pay For It Tomorrow. The new clubs wild host Tennessee aka Baby Brian, the nutters Mormen concubine of A-list directors Gus Van Sant and Brian Singer was back home in the states for Christmas, and taking his place was Travis Jeppeson¥s super hot lover Mario of Slovakia behind the wheels of steel. Joining in on the post birthday celebration was cute Israeli Imre who works at Barbie Deinhoff with that all talking, walking career known as Rajendra Roy the handsome South Asian who use to be a mover and shaker with the Berlinale and now works for MoMa in New York. Raj said he wants to do a Vaginal Davis Retrospectacle at MoMa, now wouldn¥t that be something?

JUDY JUDY JUDY
Hilarious email sent to me from the great Canadian auteur Bruce "judy" LaBruce who was just in Brazil having adventures of the big peniled kind.
enjoy. 

Hi Snooty: well first of all, I followed your advice and got down to the
baths in Sao Paulo, and boy am I glad I did! Holy smokes! This really nice
young man named Eder, who looks a bit like a young, much better looking
Liberace, the best friend of Suzy Capo, the director of the Mix festival,
took me to his neighbourhood sauna/brothel, named Fragatas (which apparently
means Windsurfing), and it was the best I've ever been to in the world! When
you pay at the front you get two towels and some flip flops. Walking into
the main room, Gloria Gaynor's Never Can Say Goodbye started to play. There
were numerous tables and chairs and a bar,  a dj booth, a small stage with a
drag queen MC, and two muscular strippers. In full view of this room were a
row of individual showers, where all the hustlers lather up and get hard so
you can make your Sophie's choice. And what a choice! All sizes, shapes, and
colours. Some of the johns were getting very creative with their towels,
fashioning all sorts of turbans and togas and gowns with them, which gave it
all a certain jailhouse aspect. So anyway, Eder introduced me to one of his
favourite regulars, a boy on the shorter side of the scale known to have the
largest member in the joint. I saw him in the shower and had to concur. So
he took me up to a private room and fucked the living daylights out of me.
He kissed, he sucked, he got sucked, he fucked, but of course he was
straight. Huge thick cock - like 10"+ - rock hard. Plus sweet-natured as
pie. 17 bucks. It was so spectacular that I had to return the next day, with
Eder. It was even more crowded on Sunday evening (it closes at midnight),
with the johns playing cards and bingo and whatnot. I wasn't as into it at
first because I really felt like an outsider, but then I spotted this super
cute boy with huge jailhouse style tattoos and incredibly handsome with big
deer lashes and a thick head of hair. At first he looked too dangerous, but
when we started to talk to him he was very sweet. He had his daughter's name
tattooed on his arm. He was from Salvador. It was so busy that the rooms
were all booked, but at the eleventh hour Eder got me one and I had another
trip around the world. He charged a little bit more - 25 bucks - but I gave
him 35 because he was the crème de la crème. The little room had it's own
bathroom, wet-naps, sink, and mirrors all over, including the ceiling. It
was very kaleidoscopic. Anyway, just thought I'd share that. You can
reproduce that story if you wish.

SPRIT(Z)IGER ABEND
“Seeing him not only as another
so too, am I”

I am anxious to read Edmund White´s new bio of Arthur Rimbaud, Rimbaud: A Double Life of a Rebel. Poor Ms. White was being interviewed the other day on the radio show NPR Berlin and didnt seem like she was all there.
Artist Dean Samashima who has been living in Berlin as long as i have took me and my young protege DeRohan Chabot to dinner at the Austrian kitchen Monday. We all ate the giant delicious shnitzel. It was nice having one-on-one with a girlfriend from Los Angeles. Dean is so cute and cherubic holding a special place in my heart because he reminds me of my first grade crush Richard Takata.
Christmastime in Berlin, and thank god it isnt jammed down your throats here like in the states. Growing up as a Jehovah´s Witness for most of my childhood i don´t have any holiday memories burned into my psyche. Being a JW was excellent prep in taking on my outsider role. Imagine, No birthday celebrations, no Christian adopted pagen holiday rituals to recognize and a Gibraltic resolve in resisting peer group preasure. All this has contributed to creating the perfect freakazoid that you all know and love so tenderly. One of my guilty pleasures has been Christmas carols, and standards like Judy Garlands “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas”. I also adore the Christmas films Holiday Inn 1942 starring Fred Astaire and Bing Crosby and its semi 1954 remake White Christmas featuring a calvalcade of Irving Berlin tunes like “God Help the Sister That Comes Between Me and My Man”, “Snow” and “Mandy(There´s a Minister Handy) Bing Crosby also starred in this film, along with an insufferable Danny Kaye mugging and showboating to death plus a catatonic Vera-Ellen and the incredible Rosemary Clooney. Ms. Clooney made few films, but the ones she did were memorable. My favorite is Red Garters-Paramount,1954. She also appeared in Deep in My Heart-MGM,1954 which was a bio pic about composer Sigmund Romberg.
Seen at Rising Stars, Falling Stars Saturday tribute to Buster Keaton: Superstar DJ Acme Singt, young artist DeRohan Chabot, Jonathan Edward Borrell of the Libertines, Baron Hubertus Herring-Frankensdorf. Did the Baron ever marry Princess Charlotte of Monaco, the daughter of Princess Caroline? Flemish nobel Koen Claerhout, with filmmaker Michel Belague, Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras with his super hot physical therapist boyfriend Enrico, Benedict Wells the young writer of Becks letzter Sommer, who wants to be a Rising Stars stammgast, sweet and lanky baby faced Slavic studies academic Devin Fore of Princeton University here in Berlin at the American Academy on a fellowship, Tim Blue of Cheap, Dhani Harrison the handsome son of Beatle George Harrison, beefcake Gedeon Burkhard,downtown New York legend and Peter Hujar muse John Heys, Ana Muelter of the Hebbel Theater with Senol Senturk, gorgeous actress Susanne Sachsse, dapper film historian Marc Siegel, Daniel Hendrickson the translator to the stars,uber networky Italian academic and filmmaker Domietta Torlausco of Northwestern University, trying to lobby her film a spot in the Berlinale, bubble butt filmmaker Christian Asbach, a gaggle of Galic beauty pies Romain Duris, Guillaume Canet and Marion Cotillard-the hautest menage in Europe, dorky American singer Jason Mraz with Christophe Decarnin the head designer with Balmain. Berlin hearthrob Ulrich Ziemons, Stefanie Schulte Strathaus with right hand gal Nanna Heidenreich, and that nerdy white guy in the New York band TV on the Radio.
Finally saw a screening of Woody Allen´s new movie Vicky Christina Barcelona featuring Penelope Cruz, Scarlette Johansen, Rebecca Hall and Javier Bardem. Very funny. Went to a dinner party with Ms. Johansen and her husband Ryan Reynolds who has an amazing body and packing quite a piece of man meat between his very sturdy legs. After dinner we were all taken for drinks to the Paris Bar which is a dull Berlin actor hangout.
Bettie Page the pin up girl of the 1950 died at age 85 in Los Angeles. Bettie was one of the inspirations for my Haute Sexy D. persona in my art rock band Pedro Muriel & Esther (PME). Especially with the first PME performance where i lactate and mix the milk with Nestle´s Quick the chocolate flavour not the strawberry.
MGM matinee idol from the 1940s Van Johnson died at age 92. He is probably best known for roles in World War 2 films like A Guy Named Joe and 30 Seconds Over Tokyo Joe and co-starring in musicals opposite the likes of Esther Williams in Easy to Love (1953) June Allyson in Two Girls and a Sailor (1944) boy that title sure sounds dirty, Cyd Charisse in Brigadoon(1954) and Judy Garland In The Good Ole Summertime(1949). Van was a likeable ginger haired, freckle faced boy next door type. His most manly role was in the Caine Mutiny(1954) Most people didn´t know that he was a Hollywood homo known for deflowering child actors Roddy McDowell and Dean Stockwell on the old Metro Culver City lot, and for being buttery buggery boyfriends with male ingenue Tom Drake who also was in Two Girls and a Sailor and who enraged his Meet Me In St. Louis co-star Miss Garland when he refused to f*ck her. Drake was much better looking then Mr. Johnson. Why Tom wouldn´t do Judy one will never know. Even faggot director Vicente Minnelli was able to get it up for Judy. Imagine If he hadn´t there wouldnt be a Liza Minnelli. But Van and Judy never did the lesbian nasty. They were just studio girlfriends and sisters of the clothe. Before Van was with Tom Drake he was swapping chutes with MGM musical comedy director Edward Buzzell, then he took up with contract hoofers Ray McDonald and Richard Quine who later went on to become a director of such films as Bell Book & Candle. Van really made his sexual way around the Metro lot bagging sexy Tommy Rall, tight assed Bobby Van and even uber oversexed stud Bob Fosse, who was married to Joan McCraken at the time. He wound up making a hornific play for Mickey Haggarty when he was working as a chorus boy for Mae Wests` famous man meat review in Las Vegas. The muscle headed Haggarty was a notorious male concubine before he married Jayne Mansfield. Van´s last famous predatorial conquest was a young Dennis Hopper in the early 1950s and Disney star Tommy Kirk(The Shaggy Dog) in the late 50s. Aren´t you glad i am here to give you all these exciting tidbits of tinsel town lore.
MUSS SIE IHRE BABYPLÄNE VERSCHIEBEN?
My Blood of Abrahamic covenent Israeli son Assaf Hochman invited me over for a Jewish hightower dindin at his charming new Mitte flat. We were joined by the baby diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras looking stately and handsome in his winter togs. Assaf use to dance with Catherine Sullivan, but is now in a new piece with the Wilhelm Groener Dance Group. The new work will premier in Berlin on January 15 at the Balhaus. Günther Wilhelm and Mariola Gruener are the choreographers behind Wilhelm Groener. Can´t wait to see Assaf on stage. I will take my new protege Acme Singt to the opening. Acme is a dear young boy who i have been tag-team Djing with. Jeffreyland Hilbert of Custom Creative in LA designed a sexy highly visual advert for us that i will have to get Larry Bob to post on this very blog. Wait till you see it. It is divine. Jeffrey is a genius.
At Assaf´s house we were joined by lil Alexander the Great of Macedonia. Alex has a beamer in his apartment so we all adjoined to his nearby pad to watch some art films projected on his giant white walls. A lovely way to spend a cold, rainy Thursday evening in olde Berlin towne.

WO IST KLAUS STORTEBEKER
The great folk singer Odetta died Tuesday. I based my 80s accapella performance art group the Afro Sisters vaguelly on Odetta and Sweet Honey in the Rock. Odetta sang one of Stephin Merritt's songs on one of his other projects i think its called The 6ths.
Was thinking about Kelly Roundtree yesterday. Kelly is the daughter of Richard Roundtree of Shaft fame. Kelly went to UC Santa Barbara with Miss Dora and the Ventura gang. i don't know why her name just popped up suddenly, i haven't seen her in ages.

DAS EINGESTƒNDNIS
Death becomes her . . .handsome Baby Diaper Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras has created a curatorial granada with the latest exhibit at Exile Gallery "Ad Memoriam". The Friday night winter opening was resplendid with flattering candlelight.
Christophe Chemin delighted with his fragile assemblege study. Our Gallic hero, the muscular Mr. Chemin knows how to appropriately use humour and whimsy in his work and complemented the exquisite drawings of the great G.B. Jones. Miss Jones is a genius and the art world needs to recognize that fact.
Mr. Gibb´s demure craft pieces and objects were also included in the show, some visitors plopped right down on one of his chairs not realizing it was a ject d’art. Those tired Mitte galleries could learn some valuable lessons from This is Exile.
The glamour contingent was heavy with Val & Sebastiane, the love and music duo of Noblesse Oblige turning many heads. A resplendid Peaches in Cameo meets The Fresh Prince of Bel Aire drag had jaws agape. Escorting Miss Peaches was Little Alexander the Great, the Macedonia opera kingpin with everyones favorite girl-about-town Anna M¸elter of the HAU. The Reichenberger rock steady crew of Kreuzberg featuring Miss Montreal Chloe & Julian Binet, and pals added to the events charms. Seen flitting about: Daniel Hendrickson, the translator to the stars, Enrico! The new humpy east German lover of Joel Gibb, Travis Jeppeson and beau Mario with their Porkys entourage, Matthew Goode the star of new British film Brideshead Revisited, which i saw at a screening a while back and can only say this version of the Evelyn Waugh novel is simply dreadful. You're better off renting the old Masterpiece Theatre mini series starring Jeremy Irons. Young blondine DJ and Ms. Davis’ latest protege Acme Singt had all the gay blades drueling plus a who slew Aunt Roo of visiting frostbacks. Yes Berlina those ice nigs are taking over the town.
SIE HABEN RECHT. ‹BER SEXUALITƒT KANN JEDER REDEN
Those my age or older might remember Janice DeSoto’s club Bar DeLux that use to be every Wednesday at the old Japanese Restaurant Imperial Gardens on the Sunset Strip in the 80s. The place later became the celebrity hangout The Roxbury, but was much more interesting when it was a Japanese Restaurant. Henry Peck of Vinyl Fetish fame was the DJ. Henry is one of the best DJ¥s to come out of the post punk era, and highly underrated. One night at Bar DeLux i made out with dorky Bruce Springstein. He was really sweet and a good kisser, not sticking his tongue down through to my tounsils which so many white boys think is the way to do a soul kiss and impress a black girl. Mr. Springstein had a rock hard body. Didn¥t put on any rock star airs. I didn¥t know who he was until after our makeout session and someone told me. I just thought he was a dimuntive dweeby Jewish guy which is one of my favorite types being a havanagila queen. That same evening I threw a drink in the face of writer Brett Easton Ellis. This was before he became famous with his novel Less Then Zero. He said something snotty to me and I was drunk and not featuring him. My companion for the evening was Denise Crosby the granddaughter of Bing Crosby. Denise was one of the stars of the sci-fi TV show Star Trek, The Next Generation. Her brother Dennis Crosby was also with us. Dennis was a big junky during this time, and he and Craig Lee the music editor of the LA Weekly were busy in the lavatory embibing. I always had a great time hanging out with Denise and Dennis Crosby and also Nicky Corvette of Nicky and the Corvettes. She was a waitress at Barney¥s Beanery and the lead singer of the popular power pop band. I think Nicky still works at the Beanery. She had a handsome father who had been an actor when he was younger, and hung out with a bunch of old queens, who he sometimes let suck his big Hollywood dick. Thats exactly how Nicky would put it.
ICH WƒRE GERN ROMANSHRIFTSTELLERIN GEWORDEN
Tea and dainties with Koen Claerhout, the sweet Belgium boy who was the CHEAP intern back in 2005 for the Poker Im Osten Festival. Koen is super smart and talented designing a lovely gown for me, and costumes for my art band Ruth Fischer when we played the CHEAP Silvester Party. He recently worked on the first Bienale in Brussels, but is back in Berlin till the Spring.
Later went to the compound of Piero Bonnehomme of the Piero Kolleczione for a scrumpteous Italian style din din. Piero is the lover of Daniel Hendrickson the Scandanavian Muslim. Piero also has his own design firm which not only does fashion but housewares and furnishings like Georgio Armani. Piero gave me some lovely bedding from his winter kollection. I also have some Piero classic sweaters, scarves, hats and tops all with that classic Italian cut and feel.
WIDERSTAND GEGEN DIE MASSENKULTUR?
Sexy little Alexander the Great of Macedonia spent 24 hours cooking a Greek style Thanksgiving feast at his Mitte compound for me an Anna Müelter of the HAU. The delicious food consisting of special Greek delicacies never stopped flowing and the desert was heavenly. Alex is so sweet, talented and dreamy. Besides having trained in opera he is an expert, award winning ballroom dancer. After supper he spinned me around the living room dance floor. Lil Alex is the perfect boy next door.
ROSENB‹SCHEL KEINE
Invited to the HAU 2 by Anna M¸elter to see H3 (O U Fre¥Do Sao Raund) by Brazilian choreographer Bruno Beltrao of Grupo de Rua de Niteroi. This piece is an encore performance from the HAU Brazilian festival in May. And all i can say is i wish i could have seen it back in the Spring. 9 tiny lovesexy Brazilian pud boys built like Sherman tanks doing hip hop moves ala modern dance ritual. One of the most masculine, homo erotic pieces I¥ve seen this year. I left a giant puddle on the floor below my theatre seat---i was that wet. Plaintive and beautifully charged from the bare set to the inventive lighting,sound and brilliant musical score. So complete in tone and shape. My only complaint is that the Kostume designer Marcelo Sommer had the boys wearing way too much in the layered baggie b-boy tradition. They should have been wearing nothing but man panties to properly show off those bubble butts. Or done those hallowed moves completely in the buff. The HAU 2 was packed to the rafters as it should be for something this good. If the dancers: Bruno Duarte, Bruno Williams, Kieberson Goncalves, Danilo Pereira, Eduardo Hermanson, Filipi de Moraes, Kristiano Goncalves, Lucas Gadelha and Thiago Almeida aren¥t busy filming for Kristan Bjorn i sure would love to have them all pull a love train on me. Chupa mi verga!!!!
DIE POETISCHE METHODE
Rising Stars, Falling Stars at Arsenal Institute of Film and Video Art and my animation salute to Felix The Cat was packed to the rafters. I wasn¥t so sure it would be appropriate for the first program with the Arsenal Re-Launch to be one of animation, but i wanted something different, and striking. Well my instincts paid off. The Blue Bros Tim & Kjohnny performed a live score that was rolicking, inventive, and that was so in the spirit of Felix, the first queer anthropomorphic film shtar.
Two sweet older women from Dublin Ireland came and thanked me during the reception after the screening. They had a million questions about the program and where the films i choose come from. The Arsenal archive is vast.
There were so many newcomers Saturday. Karim Ainouz the director of the hit film Madame Sata and his Brazilian posse. Mr. Ainouz just moved to Berlin so i hope to be seeing more of him and his gang. Was surprised to see Malcolm McLaren at Rising Stars. Mr. McLaren is in Berlin for some video art project and stopped by to steal ideas. Those of you in your 20s probably don¥t know who Malcolm McLaren is, and i don¥t have the energy to explain. I¥ve known him since the days of Sex & Seditionaries in London with Vivienne Westwood, but we haven¥t seen each other since his Buffalo Gals/Madame Butterfly period. I told him about my new music project Tenderloin, and he jokingly said he wants to manage me. At least i hope it is a joke, as i don¥t want Malcolm McLaren managing me. Also at RSFS the sexy black LA fashion designer Cornell Collins who brought a big gang of juicy Swedes and bright young things with him. One charming blondine from Mississippi just moved to Berlin, and i hope he and his pals become RS regulars. On the literary front was the dazzling young writer Benedict Wells who wrote the recent tome Becks Letzter Sommer. I sure would love to chow down on this beautiful boys mushroom headed knob, but he was busy macking on the lead singer of that Las Vegas based rock band The Killers, and flirting with my projectionist Guillaume who is leaving Berlin for the enchantment that is Manhattan. We will all miss him and his lusty Gallic charms. But of course i still have Ullrich Ziemon, who is the best looking dude in Germany and who helps me every month as my personal escort to the kino. Making everyone feel at home was lovely program director Stefanie Schulte Strathaus, with right hand girl Nanna Heidenreich, who provided the gorgeous Felix decor for the reception in the intimate Rote Foyer Lounge. Film historian Marc Siegel chatted with BMW heiress Susanne Klatten while translator to the stars Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim with his handsome Italian/German beau Pierro Bonnehomme of the Piero Kolleczione & Designworks were laughing and telling Sophie Tucker jokes to delicious Aastin Brooks, who is the great niece of silent screen legend Louise Brooks. I met Miss Aastin at the Babylonia punk rock Language School in Kreuzburg. Kjohnny Blue's pretty roommate Nasale and his cute girlfriend Nadine were rubbing shoulders with Anna M¸elter, Little Alexander The Great,Catherine Sullivan dancer Aasof Hochman who is now dancing with another troupe and so many shiny new faces. It is really wonderful being a part of the Arsenal¥s November Re-launch. The Re-Launch also included a salute to Hollywood star Clint Eastwood. I was glad to see that they were showing some of his speghetti westerns directed by Sergio Leone along with Play Misty For Me and his directorial effort Bird, but if i was programming i woudn¥t have included his most recent films like The Unforgiven,Mystic River, Million Dollar Baby, Flags of our Fathers or Letters from Iwo Jima. I would have stuck to some of his more obscure films that he starred in like the haunting anti-bellum drama The Beguiled(1971) or his only musical performance in Paint Your Wagon(1969) directed by Joshua Logan that co-starred Jean Seberg. And what about Two Mules for Sister Sarah (1970) with Shirley McClaine.
For December i am anxious to see the Japanese film series and the classic Turkish films. Though probably a more cutting edge program would have been showing 1970s style sexploitation Turkish cinema. There i threw in my two cents criticism.
Sunday i went to Theater an der Parkaue for the premiere of Rotk‰ppchen by Joel Pommerat which is a version of the famed French re-telling of Little Red Riding Hood starring my CHEAP collegue Susanne Sachsse in the lead role. Ms. Sachsse is quite a powerful theatrical presence with a hypnotic commanding voice.
Usually when a mature woman plays a child it winds up turning into burlesque, but in this case Frau Sachsse as the little girl gave her an inner intelligence, vulnerability and inquisitiveness that was quite allluring. It would have been typical to perform the role with precociousness, and a lesser actress would have gone this route, but Frau Sachsee was playful without being sachrine and inbued the role with the natural sexual curiosity that is inherent in children.
After the performance there was a discussion with the chidren and parents with the performers and dramaturge Amelie Mallmann who did a magnificent job facilitating. With my limited German and bad hearing i gathered that this production stimulated the young ones some who had quite a bit to say that was interesting and showed how well they comprehended the more esoteric aspects of the piece. The parents comments weren¥t as insightful.
DIE WIEDERBELEBUNG DES HANDWERKS
My Flemish wonderboy Koen Claerhout invited me over for a yummy dinner at the gorgeous flat he shares with the beautiful Ms. Katrin Dodd of the Hebbel Theatre. The three of us feasted and drank copious amounts of German sect, then retired to their screening room to watch Milos Foreman´s film musical version of the Broadway hit Hair.
Katrin had seen it before but Koen wasnt even born when the film first came out. It was wonderous seeing his young eyes light up. Katrin and i were singing and dancing to all the songs, and having a general hoot of a time. We also watched together the first hour of Bob Fosse´s All That Jazz a film that neither of them had seen. The famously sensual "Take Off With Us" production number still packs a wallup.

FROSCHKUSS

“Without doubt you become dogmatic, shrill and stupid”
-Bill Aires, Weather Underground

The visiting Americans to Berlin hasn´t ended with the autumnal hormonal. One of my children from the 90s all grown up Davey Houle with his sweet bubbly current boyfriend, and former lover the midwest punque star Marc Ruvolo sauntered through town from the windy city Chieta aka: Miss Chicago, Illinois. They came by the Cheese Endique Trifecta, where we sat around drinking brewski´s and reminiscing about the hey day of Chicago punk nitelife. I have great memories of performing at places like The Czar Bar, The Empty Bottle, Lower Links, Randolph Street Gallery, The Chicago Art Institute and Hot House. Marc and Davey gave me a copy of their new sizzling CD Denying the West with proto punc outfit Das Kapital. I told the boys to check out Travis Jeppeson´s Porky club at Ficken 3000 aka: Frankenstein 5000, and they did--enjoying that hot spots twinken elf madness.
The frostback Baby Diaper, Joel Gibb of the Hidden Cameras moved from the eastside of Berlin to the newest hipster area Neu Kölln. His lovely flat is nestled on a colorful street of London style row houses. Joel cooked a delicious lunch of pumpkin soup with surprise celebrity guest the gorgeous superstar electro rocker Peaches, looking mighty fine and love sexy. Miss Peaches was mixing her latest album at a studio nearby and dropped in for some tasty vittles. The lady just celebrated her 42nd birthday, but still can pass for a teenager.
Peaches had to get back to the studio, but Joel´s new hot muscle lover Enrico came by to give Mr. Diaper some snooky ookum. Enrico is one hot east german boy, and certainly has the equipment to keep the handsome Joel Gibb very satisfied in loves enthrallment. All you Joel Gibb fans will be eager to see his art work on display at Exile Gallery. The opening is Saturday Nov 22nd 7-10pm and features work from the beautiful G.B.Jones of Fifth Column fame, and French hungthrob Christophe Chemin. Exile Gallery is located at Alexandrinenstasse 4 in Kreuzberg.
Got together for dwinks with my visiting Chicago pack at their spacious Viktoria Park flat that they rented while on holiday. Davey Houle and the boys took me to dinner at the Austria Kitchen. I´ve always wanted to check this restaurant out. The food was delicious, and came in very large portions which made the Vaginal Davis doll and the Chi posse very happy.
Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus of Arsenal Institut Für Film und Videokunst and right hand gal Nanna Heidenreich invited this lady to an Ethiopian feast the other night. My date was handsome big peniled Tim Blue, fresh from his performance and music duty with Guilthouse. We were gathered to celebrate a visit from Canadian shores of Scott Berry the executive director with the Images Festival of Toronto. A very pleasant evening was had, and of course i flirted outrageously with Uli Ziemon, the young holy hearthrob of Potsdamer Platz.
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Tim Blue cooked one of his fantastic meals for me at his spacious Neu Kölln compound, then we met up with Empress Stefanie Schulte Strathaus of The Arsenal at Dock 11 on Kasting Couch Allee where she treated us to the premiere of a dance piece starring the lovely Miss Trixie, who reminds me of a German Penny Arcade. Trixie is a comrade and kindred spirit of the legendary Jack Smith from back in the early 1970s. Barefoot modern dance, and her blurry eyed second cousin--dance theatre isn´t really my cup of Camomile tea, but i admire performers like Trixie who really let their vulnerability show while showcasing a nice sense of humour.
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All my New York City fans should check out a program by German experimental film legend Wilhelm Hein and his art photographer girlfriend Annette Frick that will be shown on Nov 21st and 22nd at the famous Millenium in Manhattan. Wilhelm and Annette are two of the biggest Vaginal Davis supporters in all of Europe, and I´ve known them for many years. They are true artists who have worked consistently outside of institutional settings and are very dear to me, so don´t be afraid to go up to them and say, “Hi!”

ECHTE HANDARBEIT
One of my wonderful pals from Los Ang the vivacious and extremely talented chanteuse Ms. Jane Cantilon sent me a lovely emug detailing all the recent exploits of collaborators like Michele “Meesh” Mills who use to work on Tyra Banks’ Americas Next Top Model TV Show, but is now a star producer of the reality TV genre. Meesh was my door gal at Bricktops and did my make-up & hair for the famous Catherine Opie portrait that is now hanging in the Guggenheim in New York. Four foot tall bombshell Selene Luna who co-stars with Margaret Cho on her new TV show also was a Bricktops door girl. I don´t have a television set so i won´t be catching their products on the boob tube anytime soon. Jane Cantilon who i have known for over 25 years is a gorgeous buxom lass with oodles of irresistible sex appeal, who refuses to age. Word to Hollywood. You don´t need plastic surgery just a youthful spirit. Jane was once a producer for Entertainment Tonight and i loved her stories of being a wild bohemian girl working in the conservative mainstream entertainment industry... When i think of Jane i am also flooded with memories of Janet Cunningham who ran C.A.S:H.- Contemporary Artist Space in Hollywood, an incredible venue in the heart of LaLa in the early 1980s. Janet would serve red beans and rice in homage to New Orleans the city she left to move to Hollywood. Lawrence Fishbourne of the Matrix film series worked as her door bitch.
Flashback: At a soiree for the Los Angeles International Exposition Film Festival-FilmX I met director Francis Ford Coppola. This was in1975 and I was a 13 year old junior high school student. Coppola became enamored of me at this party, and I got an audition for a part in his epic film Apocalypse Now. Also auditioning was Lawrence Fishbourne who i recognized from his role as a juvenille deliquent on the ABC daytime soap opera “One Life To Live”. Lawrence Fishbourne got the part. Both of us were way too young to play this small part of a vietnam era soldier. Looking back it is amazing that i met a famous film director at a party and from that i get an audition for a big budget Hollywood picture. In those days anything could happen if you were at the right place at the right time.
Even after i didn´t get the part i got to hang out a bit with Mr. Coppola. He was always a perfect gentleman and never tried any hanky panky. He introduced me to this British guy who was Christopher “Superman” Reeves. This man was a complete letch, and was all octopussy hands. He had some liver lipped black boyfriend who wore tight seemless pants that showcased his enormous endowment. Even in front of his drug addled dinge lover he was still trying to get some nuggie from me. The more i resisted the more he tried. I wasn´t attracted to him in the slightest. He looked like a squat pigeon chested version of Oliver Reed. I did enjoy that he was constantly trying to seduce me, but i instinctively knew that if i gave in he would soon grow tired of me. One time after a night out dancing at Studio One we came back to his apartment in the poor section of Beverly Hills north of the Academy of Arts and Sciences Building interrupting an orgy in progress. In the bedroom were 12 naked men all interlocked. His black lover was in the kitchen getting that giant penis of his slurped on by Sam Bottoms, the youngest of the acting Bottoms brothers. Sam was a co-star in Apocalypse Now. I had a crush on Sam´s older brothers Joseph and Timothy. I even acted in a scene with Timothy Bottoms on the ABC TV show Gideon´s Crossing in 2000, and said how i adored him in the 1973 film Love and Pain & the Whole Damn Thing where he played Maggie Smith’s college age lover.
Speaking of a Coppola, Francis Ford´s daughter Sophia Coppola was married to the director and Spiegel heir Spike Jones. Jones was a regular at Jeffrey Hillbert´s queer club Trade in the early 90s. Back then Spike was the editor of Dirt Magazine, the boy version of Sassy Magazine, and was also directing some skateboard videos. At that time he was fag about town having a homosexy love affair with this cute muscular kid with super high cheekbones named Ke, who later was signed to Elton John´s vanity record label. Ke had moved to New York, and was good friends with apple granny director Richard Glatzer(The Fluffer, Quincenera). Ke would often come back to LA to visit. The last time i saw him was when Frank Rodriguez and i had our joint birthday party at that coffeeshop bar Silver Spoon(formerly Theodores) on Santa Monica Blvd at Crescent Heights owned by the same people that run Astro Family Restaurant in Silverlake and that cute coffeeshop on Beverly Blvd near LaCienega.
When i was in my mid teens i spent a summer running around with the Australian director of the Mad Max films George Miller, who was a big drunk and coke feign. When he was in town he´d always stay at the old Westwood Marquis Hotel across from UCLA in the giant penthouse suite. He would always be chueffered in a limo. I would accompany him to parties and clubs like Backlot, The Oddysey, 9000 Sunset Blvd, and Julie´s Disco inside the Pacific Design Center. When we´d get back to the hotel, he´d suck on my raisenette titties for a while and munch on my garden salad. He was a major titty and ass freak. Thankfully he’d always pass out in a drunken stupor with his face buried up my asstrovar on the couch in the living room area so i would have the super Kalifornia King all to myself in the bedroom. I wonder what happened to him? The last movie i recall him directing was The Witches of Eastwick. I have to check IMDB to see if he is even still alive.
Getting back to Lawrence Fishbourne---later in the 80s he played the cowboy on Pee-Wee´s Playhouse, the saturday morning live action series starring PeeWee Herman. A lot of people aren´t aware that Mr. Fishbourne has a post punk past. He was a regular at nitespots like The Zero Zero, Cathay De Grande, Fake Club, The Garage (which was an amazing underground funk club inside a downtown parking garage), Haunted Studios, The Veil, and The Hideaway which was run by this cute nerdy black dude who ran a vintage clothing store next to the Vista Theatre in Silverlake. I don´t remember this guys name but since there weren´t very many blacks in the punk and post punk scenes he stood out. He was also a fashion designer and would have fashion shows at The Hideaway which would feature black models like Roach who was the lead singer of the new wave band Roach and the White Boyz. Roach was the girlfriend of Brian O’Neal the leader of the all black new wave band The Bus Boys. Does anyone remember them? The BusBoys and their music was featured in one of Eddie Murphy´s tired old movies. Eddie has always been a notorious queen and tranny chaser. Marsha Hunt the sexy black singer of the new wave band Marsha and the Vendettas,.who had a kid with Mick Jagger would also model at the Hideaway fashion shows. God it is hilarious what things i remember. The black guy who ran the Hideaway later opened another vintage store on West Washington Blvd called Checkerboard, then i heard he moved to Seattle and became a school teacher. Let´s see what other black folks were around in the early 80s: Mrs. Michael Glass who was was part of Exene Cervenka of X´s entourage and later the genius behind Amok books editing their famous Dispatch publications. I think Mrs. Glass also worked with Stuart Sweezey on the famous Desolation Center Concerts in the High Desert. The Desolation Center first brought Sonic Youth to Southern California. I was at that show which also featured The Meat Puppets and Psi-Com which was Perry Farrell of Jane’s Addiction first and best band.
Oh there was also crazy Tequila Mockingbird, of New Wave Theatre who used to hang out at the Japanese punk store Tiger Rose, and at that hair salon on Melrose that featured the German punk stylist Atila. Someone recently sent me a link of some online column that Tequila was writing. She is one of Hollywood´s best known two bit grifters. Miss Tequila does have some talent, but it is negligable. Her funniest band Krew Kuts Klan had everyone playing childrens instruments, and another music project called Trouble For Nora was her most polished. She even served a stint managing poor Nina Hagen when she lived in LA and ran some alien space plug church.
There was also Sean DeLear aka:Tony Cosmos who was part of the San Fernando Valley punk clique who was a featured performer in Brian Grillo´s Grillo´s Follies. Brian Grillo later led a band with Tom Morello before he formed Rage Against the Machine. Sean DeLear was known as the west coast lover of downtown New York cabaret star John Sex, who was a notorious dinge queen. One of the most shocking sights i ever saw was at a New Year´s Eve party at 666 Attack Gallery where Sean D was sprawled out on the dance floor having sex with Mike Ness of the Orange County punk band Social Distortion. I was so jealous because i had a major crush on Mr. Ness and wanted him for myself.
Did i forget to mention that Janet Cunningham of C.A.S.H. later became a casting agent specializing in freaks, punk rockers, drag queens & bikers. One of the biggest projects she cast was the famous punk rock episode of the TV drama Quincy starring Jack Klugman of The Odd Couple. Taking over the casting reigns of freak-a-zoids these days in Hollywood is the agency Dragon Talent run by Robin Esmeralda Cameltoe, who use to be the wife of Jake Miller aka Buck Angel the famous F2M man with a pussy. Jake was actually the one who came up with the idea and name of Dragon. Jake´s sister is a police officer and in police code Dragon means drag queen. On the east coast the colorful draq queen personality Mz. Understood runs a similar agency.
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Was straightening out some photos that i used in my installation Present Penicative and came across some provacative pics featuring two pretty teenage Hamburg hustlers i met named Thorsten and Denis back in1996 when i was performing my piece “Intimacy & Tomorrow(Stupidity, Today) as part of the Six Sex Weeks Festival at the Schmidt Theatre. These two boys were middle class kids who just hustled for kicks, and not because they needed the money. They both came from good families but were wild and wooly libertines with tight rock hard bodies and vulvic thrombones. In fact they cooked me and my then assistant Crepe Suzette Mathelson a masterful feast of Tuetonic delicacies on our last night in Hamburg.
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I´m listening to gay Congressman and Chairman of the House Financial Services Committee Barney Frank on NPR Berlin. I met Mr. Frank back in the early 1990s when i was invited to perform at the ICA Boston. After my show I was invited to a Sunday brunch at this gorgeous back bay apartment, and Ms. Frank was putting the make on every young good looking boy at the soiree. He was really a hilarious hoot grabbing at the genitals of all the pretty little boy art whores.
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Russian artist Slava Mogutin sent me a link to a web site devoted to sagging. Sagging is the urban youth phenomena where pants defy gravity, hanging low exposing underwear. I feel like sagging doesn´t go far enough. First of all these boys shouldn’t be wearing underwear. Show off those prodigious bare rumps. And what about sagging up front? Lets take that one step further and in homage to the Wilde Boyz of Weimar Germany packs of young adult males should be running around with their genitals hanging out of their pants or liederhosen so you can see right away if they are up to snuff.
NACH WILDEM SEX LÄSST ER SIE EINFACH SITZEN!
A tiny elderly woman approached me on the street. I told her my German was limited, but she paid no mind and continued talking to me in an animated way. I smiled and nodded, realizing i could actually understand her. Her short cropped white hair reminded me of Mrs. Bailey, my old Finley Arms apartment manager from when i lived in Los Feliz Village in the early 90s. My neighbors at that time were writer Dennis Cooper, and a pre-fame gangly teenaged Leo DiCaprio who would hang out at the Amok Bookstore on Vermont Avenue.
I really loved that old flat on Finley Avenue at Hillhurst above Franklin. Faustian rocker Glenn Danzig lived around the corner on Franklin in an old witchy poo looking house that suffered a lot of damage in the earthquake of 1994. The French windows in my apartment opened out to a priceless view of the Griffith Park Observatory and the smell of jasmine. My friend Lancelot Garcia, of the Ventura Homo House contingent moved into a single on the first floor of the Finley Arms. Lance worked as the manager of the Virgin Mega Store in Universal City right next to Universal Studios. Lots of celebs use to come to his store, and he gave me tons of juicy fodder for the gossip column i wrote at the time. I was the first person to break the story that Neil Patrick Harris of Doogie Hauser fame was a hornacious homo hound dog years before he was officially outed in the blogosphere and then the mainstream media. Lance had a young muscle twink friend from Oxnard with pretty green eyes who was always visiting him at the apartment. An old predatory troll lived across the hall from Mrs. Bailey, the live-in manager. This yucky man was always swooping on Lance’ pretty twink friend offering him marijuana. The geezer kept a revolving door of Asian and Latino concubines, who he constantly abused and mistreated on a regular basis. Mrs. Bailey couldn´t stand him, and neither could i. That Mrs. Bailey was really one right on old lady. She actually liked, and felt sorry and protective for the “young sweet boys” that evil queen kept. I loved her strong sense of fairness and justice. When Mrs. Bailey was young she was probably a fag hag or even had some lesbian tendancies. She looked a little like a bulldagger with her short cropped hair and no nonsense ways. She was ultra friendly with this middleaged black dyke that also lived in the building. They even went through a lesbian drama period and weren´t speaking to each other. Lance and I were Mrs. Bailey´s favorite boys along with this super cute El Salvadorean faggot.
There was also this gorgeous ginger haired man that lived in the building. He was around 30 years old,with a nice lean build and drove a 1955 Chevy. He was nice but kept to himself and had an Asian girlfriend who didnt live with him, but was around quite a bit. Of course i hated this girlfriend because she had him and i didn´t. The girlfriend always gave me dirty looks because she could tell i had designs on her hot man. A lot of people in the building would move away but always wind up coming back because the rent was so cheap and the owner of the building didnt ask for first and last rent or a security deposit which is almost unheard of in Los Angeles. My apartment was a very large single and the rent was only $320 a month.
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Michael Crichton of The Andromeda Strain, Westworld, Coma and Jurrasic Park fame died. I met him once at his palatial estate in Santa Monica. He was taller then i am, standing 6 feet 9 inches. He lived in the same neighborhood as the salt n pepper art philanthropist couple Eileen and Peter Norton of Norton Utilities. Their giant compound was basically a home museum for their contemporary art collection. Michael Crichton´s ex-wife Ann Marie Martin is the sister of Chris Teen Martin. Christ Teen is the Canadian born star of my feminine trilogy The Three Faces of Women(1991) and a co-star in Bruce La Bruce´s 1992 flick Super 8 1/2 . She is also the muse of one of my favorite sisters in the clothe Glenn Belverio aka: Glennda Orgasm of the legendary Manhattan Cable show Glennda & Friends. I´ll always remember Chris Teen introducing her brother-in-law Mr. Crichton to me saying, “and this is Ms. Davis”. I was dressed in boy drag, but he didnt miss a beat and casually said, “nice meeting you Ms. Davis”. His daughter who was just a toddler at the time and looked at me in that strange way children do when contronted with someone of dubious gender. Her mother just picked her up and said to the child that i was both a boy and a girl. Later i read about their big bitter divorce and custody battle. Ann Marie had been an actress who was lucky to marry well and become a pampered Hollywood wife. Ann Marie was sweet and pretty, and fascinated by me as one of her bohemian sisters crazy, arty friends. I think the Crichton´s were Scientologists. Now Chris Teen is a lawyer and is married to another lawyer, and lives in Bryant Park in Manhattan. But when i knew her she was a lesbian, and one of the sparkling downtown brainy beauties who performed at Jackie 60´s and was part of the Miss Kitty House of Domination clan. She was also known as Baby Annie Sprinkle because of her buxom figure and resemblance to the post porn modernist.
AUF DISTANZ HALTEN
Whatever happened to David Hayes? I don´t know why i am getting these nostalgic feelings for my past, but i am. So i won´t ignore it but will just explore where it is leading. David Hayes was this “high yeller” very light skinned black boy who i went to elementary school with. He was never referred to as “Dave” or “David” but everyone including teachers only called him “David Hayes” like the Peanuts character Charlie Brown.
David Hayes was chubby, and his pants were always falling down showing plumbers crack. He was cute with a sweet smile and rosy cheeks, but everyone hated him---teachers and students alike. I could never understand why he was so generally disliked. He was quite intelligent and had an impressive vocabulary. Looking back i gather the reason why he garnered such disaproval was due to homosexual panic. Even in fourth grade David Hayes was a bit of a perv in training. Somehow he always wound up exposing himself, fly unzipped with penis dangling.
He was also quite bold in his courtship of one kid in our class named Edward Taylor. Edward was a peaches and cream complexioned blondine, a bit goofy but completely adorable. One of the few caucasion children in my elementary school. Edward came from a large hippy-ish family of radicals who remained in the inner city during white flight. The Taylors could have easily afforded to move to the suburbs like other whites during the 60s and 70s. The family lived not far from me in a big stately three story craftsman house on Harvard Blvd not far from the home of Hattie McDaniel who was the first black to win an Oscar for her portrayal of Mammy in Gone With The Wind.
Edward Taylor´s father was handsome and tall, and looked like Robert Redford in Jeremiah Johnson. He was always wearing sandles with big gold buckles on them, and had very large feet, with toes as long as fingers. He even wore a toe ring, and had both ears.pierced. Boy did i have the hots for Edward’s dad.
Edward was an amazingly talented artist who could copy any image freehand. Edward and I were friendly with each other but not exactly friends. My mother was a major loner. She was friendly when people went out of their way to engage her, but she kept everyone at a respectful distance. I am a little bit more outgoing then my mother, but similar at my core.
Edward and David Hayes would engage in these major make-out sessions in class or on the playground. I found their little romance odd in that Edward had treated David Hayes with disdain like mostly everyone else. I was the only person who actually talked to David Hayes on a regular basis.
Suddenly they were together all the time kissing. It was very bizarre. Especially the intensity of it. Of course this did not sit well in 1971 at Hobart Blvd Elementary School. Everyone was grossed out by them, but that didn´t perturb them one bit.
Somehow David Hayes received all the brunt of the blame and Edward got off scott free. David´s mother was quite the portly pepperpot, and was always having to come to school for parent conferences which consisted of teachers and administrators complaining to her about the sexual picadilos of her son. Patti Hayes was also very light skinned, and looked like a tubby Lena Horne. She denounced the school authority figures and didn´t see anything wrong with David Hayes´s experimentations and was quite articulate in defending him.
One day David Hayes upped the fourth grade anti engaging in what i could only consider as an early sex positive performance art piece. Right next to the tetherball court David Hayes very cooly and elegantly unzipped Edwards pants, and began felating him in front of a group of girls who started to scream in protest. This became a huge scandal. I couldn´t believe that Mr. Homet the school Principle didn´t expel David Hayes.
Edward and David Hayes continued to heavy pet. Everyone just sort of got used to it. Then one day they stopped. I asked Edward why he wasn´t kissing David Hayes anymore and he looked at me like i was crazy and just shrugged his shoulders and said, “I don´t like the way he tastes”.
David Hayes tried to get me to kiss with him, but at that age i was very germ phobic, so the last thing on earth i wanted to do was swap spit with someone. I never even liked being kissed on the cheek by my mother or sisters, so i wasn’t about to kiss on the mouth with David Hayes. I rejected him nicely and he accepted it.
We actually had a lot in common. We both loved the L. Frank Baum Oz book series, and spending hours in the the public library. By the time 5th grade rolled around David Hayes had become a local TV personality starring in Student News. He would leave class early to go to KTTV Metromedia Studios in Hollywood for the daily tapings. His stardom only made the teachers and students despise him even more. His mother Patti Hayes became a casting director for television who later worked on the sci fi series Battlestar Gallactica. David wound up leaving our school in the 6th grade when he and his mother moved to the valley.
Fast forward to high school junior year, and David Hayes makes a reappearance. He looks exactly the same. Soiled unbuttoned shirts, and pants falling down showing plumbers crack. His voice remained high pitched like he had somehow managed to avoid puberty. He was still hated by everyone who came in contact with him. I was the only person happy to see him after so many years.
He caused another scandal by making a pass at some cute boy named John Plunksy who beat him up. The infamy from that incident caused him to leave for parochial school.
The last time i ran into him was when i was working at Retail Slut, the punk rock clothing store on Melrose Avenue in the early 1980s that one of my Afro Sisters Urethra Franklin aka: Helen “Bed” O’Neill owned. David came into the store on a Saturday afternoon and still hadn´t changed a bit. He was excited to see me. That particular day in the store we were visited by a number of celebrities including Andy Warhol, Cher who was a regular and bought alot of the original clothing in the boutique designed by my other Afro Sister Fertile LaToyah Jackson and Michael Jackson pre-Thriller, and plastic surgery. With all that excitement on one afternoon i have to admit that i was mostly thrilled to connect with David Hayes again. He hung out in the store all day chit chatting with Helen and Diane Paillette a wild punk girl from Ventura who was spending the summer down in Hollywood. David Hayes even went on a food run bringing us snacks and ice cream. He also bought a copy of my zine Fertile La Toyah Jackson. I could tell that he was lonely, and intrigued by my life as a punkette minx.
After that day i never saw him again.
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Yma Sumac, the Inca princess of the Andes died. They think she was 86, but no one knows for sure. She was living in an LA nursing home. Perhaps she was actually born and raised in Brooklyn, New York and re-invented herself as an exotic siren.
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The other day on the street i saw a boy who looked just like Andrew Gould, my former partner with Bricktops at the Parlour Club. I was taken back a bit, thinking that maybe Andrew was on holiday here. But the boy i saw was in his early 20s and Andrew must be hovering around 30 these days. It is hysterical how someone´s doppelganger could even possess the same mannerisms. This boy seemed so frail and fragile, and damaged in just the same way that Andrew is. Of course i found that quality very alluring about him. I took some amazing photos of Andrew during the Bricktops days. He is very photogenic. Most of the Bricktops pictures from the first few years of the club that i had in my installation Present Penicative i took with cheap disposable cameras. Remember those? Later Andrew got a tiny chocolate bar shaped digital camera for Christmas and i would use that for the last Bricky years. Some of those pics i took i used to decorate the club every week. So that people from the week before who were wearing great outfits would see themselves the next week as part of the club´s decor. It was something so simple but quite effective. I wonder what happened to those photos. I know that Andrew downloaded them on his computer, but since our relationship deterioted after the end of the club i´m sure he must have erased them. What a shame as some were quite engaging.
It has been three years since Bricktops ended. I miss those Friday nights, and i do miss Andrew. Time can heal all wounds, so i am feeling less betrayed by him now that there is an ocean between us. Can you imagine how i would have felt if we had been romantically or sexually involved. Well there was a tinge of the romantic in our friendship, though i didnt find his body particularly sexy. I really dont find ultra skinny, bony, brittle boys that desireable. I like my boys with some flesh on the mound. Andrew did have a big penis, but big dicks on too lean of a frame is such a turn off. I’ll always remember sharing a bed with Andrew and Marc “Ears” Frietas who ran my record label Spectra Sonic. “Ears” was in town to participate in VD as VB US Navy and was also part of my “Topping From the Bottom” installation at the second Platinum Oasis-La Terra Vista Dalla Luna salute to Pier Paulo Pasolini at the historic Coral Sands fist fuck Motel in Hollywood. Andrew and “Ears” hit it off bigtime. I woke up about 5am and they were going at it. If you added up those dueling dicks you´d have over 20 inches of man meat. I left the room to give them some privacy
I can admit now that i was a bit jealous that Andrew and “Ears” hooked up at my event--- in my installation room. I was probably the only person who didnt get any sex that weekend. Ah the poor hostess who can never get hers, but provides the opportunity for all the little squirrels to climb up the tree to get their proverbial “gnut”.
I still love Andrew Gould. What a bright and well read Brit. His longtime boyfriend Lenny Young prided himself in not reading books. Poor Lenny. The only thing interesting about dimunitive Lenny was his gypsy background. I was fascinated by that. Lenny was quite a strange character, and him and Andrew made such an odd couple. I could see why Lenny was smitten with Andrew, but what did Andrew get out of Lenny? When they met Andrew was around 20 and Lenny was in his mid 30s. So Andrew left his father´s home for Lenny´s home. When he came to LA he only brought a backpack with him, not even a suitcase.
I actually feel somewhat sorry for Lenny. If Andrew ever leaves Lenny, he will be hard pressed finding someone else, as he only finds young boys attractive, and would never seek a relationship with a peer. During the Bricktops days Lenny was in his 40s and was always going gaga over juicy slim white boys in their early 20s. He is one of those types of men that can´t handle being alone. I wonder if the global financial crisis has hurt his business schemes. Did he go back to being a low level producer of Hollywood movies? For Lenny to find a new boyfriend he will need lots of cold hard cash.
Oh Lenny is not so bad of a character. Sometimes he would put in great effort in trying to be sweet. It just wasn’t in his nature. Lenny Young i salute you. You will always remain a casualty of advanced capitalism.
Getting back to Andrew Gould. I do wish him well, I still love him, and i miss his awkwardness, and cute British accent.

NEGER, NEGER SCHORNSTEINFEGER
It always amazes me what things i write about in this here lady blog that really gets peoples goad. I forget that i have almost a quarter of a million daily readers. If I had a proper business sense i could use my popularity to make a better living for myself instead of being so damn 22 cents. Too bad i am not an Amanda Bearse style Lesbian careerist. Ha ha ha. Mull over that reference for a while kids.
My stream of conscience memory tales brought me a deluge of emails and even a few intercontinental phone calls. I guess i should always write in that vein.
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My collegue with kollective CHEAP Tim Blue had me over for a scrumpteous dinner at his new spacious compound in Neu Kölln where he pays a whooping 140 euro a month. Tim leads a charmed life. He is the only one i know who has had a young cute sugar daddy/boy who still is offering him free first class trips to New York to just hang out. I am sooooo jealous.
Was reading in the Hearst International Paper, the Herald Tribune about Canadian artist Marcel Dzama´s voting booth project at the David Zwimer Gallery in Chelsea.
I met handsome Marcel in Los Angeles through Wayne Baerwaldt who brought him to my Club Sucker in the late 90s. Now he is a big art star along with Fred Tomaselli who use to work at the 80s downtown LA hipster cafeteria Gorky´s. Fred use to go out with this girl artist named Miri Day who also moved to the east coast in the mid to late 80s. I wonder what happened to Miri, did she make it big in the blue chip art world like Fred. Fred was a sweetheart, but was one of those guys like artist Skip Arnold who look like they never bathe or brush their teeth. Marnie Weber was part of Fred´s downtown LA scene and she also went on to greater glories.
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I love hanging out at the American Bibliotechque in Berlin. There are always very cute students trolling about. Read an article in the Guardian about Guerrand Hermes, the Hermes heir who got arrested on an Air France flight to New York City for fighting with the planes pilot. Guerrand is one crazed son of Gaul who once grabbed my sumpteous ass while I was wearing a fetching Silvia Heisel bullet proof gown at a soiree in Manhattan for the Experimental Film Festival at Anthology Film Archives. My platonic escort for the evening was a humpy blond Canadian named Ess Vigland who got all macho and testosterone on the wealthy frog, and they both wound up in a full knock-out-sluggo. I always forget that when i am dressed in high drag, (and this particular evening i looked sensational as the late Kevyn Aucoin had beat my face) and with a hetero man, he treats me like a genetic girl and becomes affronted if another fella gives me the hairy eyeball. Having two men battling over me I felt like Jean Seberg in a similar scene from Otto Premingers Bonjour Tristesse.
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Artist, filmmaker, singer, novelist Christophe Chemin called to tell me about his big solo show in Paris where every drawing sold out in seconds. Actress Isabelle Hupert is a big fan of his writing and art work, and took him out for a private dinner. She probably got a whiff of Christophe’s giant peterficaation. I´ve heard Ms. Hupert is a major female horndog, I am so glad my little Christophe is enjoying super success. He deserves it.
Was taken out to brunch by gorgeous young French academe Maxime Cervulle( a 24 year old Phd) and his bubbly Italian partner Marco. We had a delightful time with each other, and were joined by their American friend Jean Ulrick De´sert a black artist who has been living in Berlin since 2000. Later i was treated to an incredible dinner by Scott Thomas a visiting scholar on his first trip to Berlin who works for the Getty in Los Angeles. Scott is good friends with two other academics David Gardner and David Pendleton. Scott is a veteran of my club performance days at Jeffrey Hilbert´s Hai Karate, and my own heritage club Bricktops. I spend so much time with people in their 20s that it was nice hanging with someone my age who shares the same pop culture references. Later we met up with Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim and his hot Italian lover Piero at the Kreuzberg hangout Bier Himmel for some serious dwinkin.
Went to the big opening at the Hebbel for their new festival Fressen Oder Fliegen(Art Into Theatre-Theatre Into Art) to see Susanne Sachsse and Karen Cytter´s sparkling interactive installation Guilthouse;Or The Great Fall of the Cartier Family. Ms. Sachsse and Ms. Cytter also colaborated together on the art film Der Spiegel which is also being shown right outside of Guilthouse. The two ladies are perfect sisters of the clothe as they lift a true headline story, so timely now that we are in a global financial crisis. Creating a living, breathing neurotic house of remorse and regret. The visual, sound and lighting come together in a superb fashion with stellar film performances by Frau Sachsse starring as Mrs. Cartier with a perfectly cast Daniel Hendrickson, the Scandanavian Muslim as Mr. Cartier and a revitting Richard Gersch(Susanne´s real life 15 year old son) playing one of the doomed children. The magical Guilthouse set was built and created by the brilliant Senol Senturk who also worked on CHEAP Blacky. Guilthouse is at HAU3 so go see for yourself what everyone in Berlin is currently wrapped up in.
Later went to the grand re-launching of The Arsenal, which will now be known as Arsenal Institut Für Film und Videokunst. A very nice gala presentation coordinated by Arsenal Empress Miss Stefanie Schulte Strathaus and her crew that featured superstar actress Tilda Swinton, who has quite a history with The Arsenal and Berlin going back to 1988 when she made Caravaggio with Derek Jarman. The actress was looking lovely wearing a Katherine Hemnett pantsuit with wedgie pumps, and gave a heartwarming speech, funny and touching. I didnt get a chance to check out if she came to the event with her husband or young lover. Also a hoot was Dr. Ingeborg Berggreen-Merkel the Minister of Culture and Media, who must be the tallest woman in Europe standing at least 9 feet tall in her manish suit and flats. The reception was packed to the rafters. I was holding court at the CHEAP Gossip Studio circular bar sandwiched between Berlin cabaret goddess Zazie De Paris and Downtown New York godhead John Heys.Got to snuggle with handsome silver fox Weiland Speck of the Berlinale´s Panorama section while oggling VIP´s like experimental film legend Birgit Hein, feminist filmmaker Ulrike Ottinger with her glamorous girlfriend, and the first family of German film The Gregors. So juicy seeing vivacious scholar Nicole Wolf, lovesexy academic Nanna Heidenreich,the bbooks gang of Kreuzburg, Little Alexander the Great of Macedonia, teen writer Travis Jeppeson with his spunky lover Mario and their Porky club at Ficken 5000 posse of baby boy dyke elfettes including the post adolescent Mormen concumbine Salt Lake City Brian, famous for working A-list directors Brian Singer and Gus Van Sant with sexy DJ Snax. Had a blast flirting with Arsenal studmufffin Ulrich Ziemon and French filmmaking honeypot Guillaume, who introduced me to a rather glum Pedro Almodovar.
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Went to the closing event of Exile Gallery´s STH In Cock We Trust/Al Baltrop Pier Photographs Exhibit. I am going to miss Billy Miller of STH. It has been wonderous having his boyish energy here in bleak Berlin. Exile Gallerist Christian Siekmier definately scored a coup with this show. If i hadn´t introduced Billy Miller to Randall of the Al Baltrop Estate back in 2006 during my Bricktops Takes Manhattan spectacle all this most likely wouldnt have happened.
Film historian Marc Siegel gave an extroidinary lecture on Boyd McDonald´s Cruising the Movies that showed some film clips featuring Gloria Graham, Jane Russell, Johnny Schefield and others. Mr. Siegel gave a wonderful perspective on the genius of Mr. McDonald´s critical writing on film. McDonald’s cinema disections were purely original expressing an outsider underclass point of view. Something that some of the careerist artfags in attendance at Exile certainly needed to hear.

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The Babbitt and the Bromide
The other day i was cruised bya young boyof 18 with pouty lips and heavy dark eye lids. Of course it took me a while to realize the kid was actually cruising me. I was sitting on a bench writing, in a part of the Tiergarten that isn´t the gay section. At first i thought the youth had gotten lost from his sightseeing party. I swear i am sometimes not the brightest cookie in the porceline jar. His head twitching in my direction didn´t indicate he had some severe form OCD.
I followed him into a loosely covered grove. His clothes came off like they were stitched together with velcro. I got on my knock knees and began servicing his immense rocket shaped thrombone. I was chug-a-lugging with abandon on his perfect mushroom shaped knob, when he lifted my face up to his and began passionately kissing me. With young boys i am more then content to just worship them, not expecting any reciprocal action, let alone a makeout session.
His heavy ejaculate coated my face like a mud mask . Suddenly i was transported to my school days in Los Angeles. It is funny how a certain trick can trigger memory. Dominic Harvey was the younger brother of Parrish Harvey a girl who went to my highschool. The Harvey´s were very light skinned blacks, the same color as Vanessa Williams and with similar blue eyes and blondish brown hair.
Dominic was a 15 year old prostitute who worked off the Hollywood Blvd strip of Selma Avenue, which was made famous in the John Rechy novels. He also picked up tricks at the legendary punk rock hangouts The Gold Cup, Arthur J´s and the parking lot of teen disco Ginos II at Santa Monica Blvd and Vine. Back in those days the parking lot was divided into a girl and boy section with chicken hawks on either side depending on their preference. I don’t remember Dominic ever wearing a shirt. He had broad shoulders like a surfer dude that tapered down to a narrow waist. His stomach muscles knotted, buttocks plump yet firm squeezed into hustler white straight leg Lee Jean´s or Levi Daisy Dukes. Large rabbit feet in either Vans or shower thong flipflops. Even in winter he would roam the streets topless ---hairless torso with bullet nipples gleaming from the cold. Southern California can get chilly. I did see Dominic wearing an unzipped leather jacket, but still without a shirt.
The Harvey´s lived in an old 10-story apartment complex in Koreatown on Serrano Blvd. It was a grand old building now in total disrepair, but still possessing considerable charm. I lived on Hobart Blvd and Pico a few blocks south on the border of South Central and Mid City or Wilshire Center as it became known later.
Parrish Harvey and I weren´t friends, but we were acquainted with each other as she hung out with Linda Wong, a baby dyke who I had known since 2nd grade, who also lived on Hobart Blvd. Linda´s parents owned the neighborhood Chinese laundry and dry cleaners. Parrish, Linda and a girl named Lucy Swink were constant companions. Lucy Swink was a Hapa with a bad reputation since Junior High. In 8th grade a popular Chicano girl named Lisa Montalegre confronted Lucy with the question, “Why can´t you keep your legs closed?”
I always go for the underdog, so i befriended Lucy back in middleschool. I introduced her to Rosie Salazar and Silvia Ortiz two other girls who were outcasts.
I´ve never understood why i was popular in school. I never tried to be. I was friends with all the most admired girls like the aforementioned Lisa Montalegre, who could be a monster and ruled a clique that consisted of Dinah Bides, Elva Navarez, Estela Lara, Leticia Corral and their boy equivalents Gustava “Goose” Garcia, who had a huge penis and green eyes, Alberto Menchaca, a German-Mexican-Jew with a background similar to my own, Michael Mutsunaga.a black acting Japanese boy who was a great dancer, Herman Candejas and Alex “Abbie”Morales who turned into quite the handsome hunk by the time we started college together at UCLA.
My immediate social circle was small. My two best friends were Paul Lee, a Chinese boy with a wicked sense of gallows humour who was into David Bowie, and Roxy Music. I stole Paul away from Luis Alfaro, who later became a celebrated local performance artist and a winner of an undeserved MacArthur award, the genius grant. Yes I am still bitter about him winning a quarter of a million dollars. Guiermo Gomez-Pena was a good choice for the prize, but Luis Alfaro and Alison Anders ?
Paul and Luis had been tight since kindergarden. I met Luis first in Theatre class. Luis was already a dullard theatre queen. I quit Theatre not wanting to be in yet another holiday adaptation of A Christmas Carol, and started hanging out with Paul and Gregorio Estefano Hernandez who later i would turn into the queer punk icon Fertile LaToyah Jackson.
I remember in the mid 80s Luis coming up to me at the Outfest Gay & Lesbian Film Festival and told me that he had been following my career in the press. At that time i hadn´t seen or thought of him since Junior High. He looked pretty much the same,but cuter and boyish. Soon afterwards i would start hearing more about him as he became part of the Highways Performance Space scene in Santa Monica. Luis worked the system to the hilt, becoming a darling of the California Arts Council, more so then Tim Miller who ruled that scene. From the gossip i have heard Tim Miller is still stuck in the gay identity politics circuit. Back in the 90s there was a brilliant piece of grafitti around town that said Tim Miller = Death. Poor Luis Alfaro hasn´t aged very well. The last time i saw him he looked like my abuelita from mexico, and he wasn´t even in drag. I don´t think he does performance art anymore. Somene told me is an arts administrator.
The last time i talked to Paul Lee was perhaps in the early 90s when i lived on Sunset Blvd at the La Villa Rosa apartment building which i also used as my Hag Gallery. Paul was still living at home in the Pico Union district, and hadn´t changed one bit. His telephone number hadn´t changed either, i probably hadn´t talked to him since we were freshmen at UCLA, but i had a copy of an old At-a-Glance date book from the early 80s. And for some reason i just decided to call him on a lark, and his older brother answered and put him on the phone. He didn´t even question the fact that it had been over a decade since we last spoke. He acted like we had been keeping in touch for years.. He even knew of my exploits in the art and performance art scene. Back in the 80s i even took Paul with me to the old Theoretic Club at the One Way Leather Bar in Silverlake. This was a club that started in the afternoon and mixed hard core leather daddies with punk &post punk art damaged scenesters. I´ll always remember the look on Paul´s face when he saw some leather daddy casually fucking his lover at the bar. That was pretty much the last time i saw Paul. I figured he was too freaked out by my punk life, so i just stopped calling him. One person from my junior high school days who kept tabs on me from a far was this weird guy who was actually two grades ahead of me named James Nolan. James was half caucasion and Mexican and lived in a tiny little cardboard looking house with his white trash grandmother. In the early 80s i was a guest DJ on a public radio show, and James called me and talked about how he had seen me in Rolling Stone and Interview Magazines, had read my articles in the LA Weekly and LA Reader. I was a little freaked out. Through-out the years in LA whenever i would appear on Stella´s Stray Pop radio show James Nolan would call up to chat with me. I even noticed that he would write very verbose letters-to-the-editor in all the alternative weeklies. I got the feeling that he still lived in that same house that belonged to his grandmother and was pretty much a shut in. I can see him in that little clap house near MacArthur Park filled with cats and LPs. James Nolan was one of the first people other then Paul Lee who knew about the New York Dolls, and the Glam Rock scene, though his particular taste leaned more to Elton John. This reminds me also of this strange black kid with a jheri curl named Busby Baloys. What a name. How wonder i have never forgotten it. Busby not only went to Berendo junior high with me but also Los Angeles High School. This guy was a complete character and pathological liar, who was always telling grand tales about his family weath and fortune. Our paths crossed again in the early 90s. He started going to Jeffrey Hilberts club Hai Karate at this Japanese gay bar called Mugi on the east end of Hollywood Blvd. He hadn´t changed one bit, and was still wearing his hair in a jheri curl and telling outlandish lies. This time he was going under the name of Christian, using a fake British accent and was saying he was adopted into the family that owns the Jaguar luxury automobile. One thing that also didnt change was that he was still a faggot. He started hanging out with one of my club Sucker regulars named Chris Ganzer, who is one of the most goofiest white boys in the world. Chris really liked Busby and was a true friend to him. I asked him didn´t his constant lying get on his nerves. He just shrugged his shoulder and said that he was amused by all the tall tales. I guess Busby was living on skid row at a Single Room Occupancy hotel, as he would never let Chris drop him off directly at home after an evening out.
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Billy Miller of STH, the Manhattan Journal of Unnatural Acts in now in Berlin for his monthly residency at the new gallery Exile that is run by artist Christian Siekmieir. Billy is one of my favorite New York personalities, and is a pure genius. We spent a lovely day in Neukölln oogling Turkish and Arab men, and i showed him the gay cancer shelf in Hasenheide Park. The weather was nice and warm, and we both had bikes and rode about blissfully. Bill relayed to me a lot of the latest New York gossip, and even some stories about people from Los Angeles like Jason El Norte, who i gather finally got fired from his day job as a law clerk , and is now working full time as a highprice male concubine. One of his steady clients is pop singer and songwriter Neil Sedaka who flies him out to the east coast for regular hump therapy sessions. I like Jason, he is a true libertine, and not only does he have sex with men but also with women. Jason has a cock that would make a donkey blush. I think he is in his early 30s now, but still gives off a boyish imprint because of his lean frame. I even diddled with Jason years ago when i met him on tour with Margaret Cho back in 2001, when performing in Minneapolis/St.Paul. When Jason moved to LA i hired him as a spastic taxi dancer for my club Bricktops
Was treated to drinks at Frankenstein 5000, aka: Ficken 3000 in Neu Kölln by Tim Blue, and ran into hot buttery lovers Travis Jeppeson and Mario Dzurila along with the Mormen Courtesan Brian, who use to be lovers with Hollywood directors Gus Van Sant and Bryan Singer. They were meeting with the salty dog owner of the bar, and are going to do a weekly party at this space which is in dire need of youthful rejuvenation. Their club will debut on Sunday Nov 2nd and goes by the name of Porky´s. Their gogo boys will all wear pig snouts.
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Had to rush home from the HAU2 where i saw La Pesca by Sportivo Teatral from Buenos Aires. The set was nice, but the piece was very much the kind of theatre that America made famous in the 30s through 50s. I can understand Spanish, but Argentine Spanish with it´s Italian cadence is a bit difficult, but it didnt matter.
Nice seeing Anna Muelter, Alessio of bbooks, Senol Senturk who is building the Guilt House installation for Susanne Sachsee and Karen Cyter, Katrin Dodd, and Mijke Harmsen Got home and my hot German boyfriend was waiting for me naked and sprawled out. We got into an argument a few days ago over the fact that he doesnt have a key to my flat. So to keep the proverbial peace i gave him a key. It was something so simple but it sure made him happy, the young fool.
I must be exuding some weird theremones lately. I was sitting outside of the American Library on a bench, when a beautiful, well built young blondine boy started cruising me quite provacatively. I was aghast. In broad daylight he started to grab at my crotch. I´m a grower not a shower, so when he didnt feel anything of substance he lost interest and walked away.

LA PRINCESSE DE CLEVES
Jenny Lumet the daughter of director Sidney Lumet (Dog Day Afternoon) and granddaughter of Lena Horne has written the screenplay to the new Anne Hathaway film Rachel Gets Married directed by Jonathan Demme. I use to run with Jenny back in the 80s in the downtown New York scene. Back then she was a high stepping "It" girl, dabbling in this and that. I heard she became a Jr. High school teacher a few years ago, but now she is getting a lot of acclaim with this movie. I'm sure i will run into her again, perhaps at the Berlinale in Feb 09.
Buck Angel aka: Jake Miller aka: Laura when he was a female fashion model is the subject of a new sculpture by Marc Quinn, the British artist who has also immortalized Kate Moss. Mr. Angel, is becoming the most notorious Female to Male Transexual. I go way back with Buck Angel, the man with a pussy who i still call Jake. As Jake he was married to Mistress Ilsa Strix, aka Dizney aka Karen, the famed dominatrix i use to work with at her house of Domination in Los Feliz. Back then i used the dom moniker of Mistress Veronika V'Interest.
Mistress Ilsa is now married to male to female transexual director Larry Wicholski of the Matrix trilogy.
Last night i went to John Heys Singt at the Kino Arsenal. Mr. Heys is the legendary downtown NY figure who has lived in Berlin since the mid 1980s. John was part of Charles Ludlam's Ridiculous Theatre, muse and lover of famous art photographer Peter Hujar and the first editor of the activist magazine Gay Power from 1969 that featured the earliest photos of Robert Mapplethorpe.
The best of the films screened was The Moroccan Bride 1979, that John made with Andrew Horn, who also directed the Klaus Nomi documentary. Moroccan Bride is an experimental short subject that is sumpteously photographed, lyrical and haunting. John made another short in 2000 that has to be one of the finest meditations on AIDS ever filmed. It parallels John's life as an AIDS survivor with that of a 92 year old German woman named Frau Conrad. It was fantastic seeing John Heys work from decades ago, and also his most recent projects. John Heys is a gay treasurer, and someone you all in the blogosphere should do research on and learn from, and that includes you know-it-all academics who are looking for an interesting subject to write your thesis on. Stop writing about me, and write about John Heys.

VOUS FAITES PARTIE DE MOI

Suzi Su aka the delicious Susanne Sachsse, the fearless leader of kollective Cheap had a yummy omlette bruncheon at her spacious eastside compound.  Its always a delight to be at the famous table of Frau Sachsse.  I cant wait to see her playing Little Red Riding Hood at the Parkauer Theatre, and everyone is talking about her collaborative installation The Guilt House with Karen Cytter, an Israeli artist who is like a younger more neurotic version of Tracey Emin.  Look for The Guilt House at the HAU in November.

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Its way too easy to dismiss dance theatre as pretentious.  I was expecting pure agony watching the premiere of Dvant, the living in a big way production that is part of the Sasha Waltz and Guests invective at the Radialsystem V, the new space for the arts in Berlin off the Spree River in Freidrichshein.   I was pleasantly surprised by this somewhat uneven piece, but couldnt ignore the sheer muscularity and power of the Gregorian boy band headed by Juan Kruz Diay de Garaio Esnaola, Sidi Larbi Cherkaiui, Luc Dunberry and Damien Jalet who is the latest fiance of my blood of Abraham son Assaf Hochman.  What a Denishawn evening it was.

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Went with film historian Marc Siegel to the Rise Gallery in Neukolln to see Christophe Chemins solo show Jeder fur sich und Gott gegen alle which in English is Each for themselves and God against everyone.  This beautiful installation of  macabre color pencil drawings features children of the korn, feral hellmound doggies, fallen sparrows and deluse a daize  straight outta the cauliflower sphincter of Verlaine.  M. Chemin is one super original hot French chick.

Later we wound up in Wedding to catch the opening of art photog Annette Fricks Casa Baubou salon.    Treated to a moving performance from legendary jazz bassist Sirone of the Revolutionary Ensemble, and his gorgeous wife who read an audience member for not paying attention.  The bros Blue, Tim and kJohnny showed radiant musical charm with violin and cello, and a poetry reading from Sissy Tax.   Making the scene sizzle  Susanne Sachsse and her lovely 15 year old daughter Salome Gersh, Evi  Russler, Boris the famous raw foods chef, with his Irish gal pal Rochelle, writer Travis Jeppeson and Slovakian beau Mario, Aastin Brooks and Nadine, Christian Siekmieir of Exile Gallery, cinematographer Michel Belague and his Paris posse,  and Matt Helders the cute drummer of the Artic Monkeys.

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Invited to yummy chicken dinner by Tim Blue, and the sexy young son of Patrick Duval of the Zanzibar movement was the surprise guest.  Wow!!!!